#also had to obviously go through photos of halle for this and omg she is so so beautiful

[invisible-pink-toast]

halle bailey wearing nautical themed dresses to the little mermaid premieres brings me so much joy

#i will never understand!! why people don't do this!! #like you could wear anything why not wear something to premiere's that suits the theme of your movie or is inspired by your character!! #the only other person who i can think actually did this was zendaya with the spiderman premiere #also had to obviously go through photos of halle for this and omg she is so so beautiful #halle bailey #the little mermaid #little mermaid #live action little mermaid #little mermaid 2023 #my post #ariel #red carpet looks

[leia-imogen]

aaron & the family he's found all by himself; vol. 2 // vol. 1

( ft. short jokes, a belated birthday shopping trip, & an ultra-chaotic winter break )

( for @criswisstuff & anyone who enjoyed the first one <3 )

savannah, who is 5'9, is constantly teasing aaron and cleo for being short. katelyn's good at 5'6, and also a bit impossible to tease bcs she's the actual best, so she gets to escape this

cleo ( 5'2 ) is perfectly delighted to have someone shorter than her for once in her life, even by only 2 inches

aaron: guys, just try and see this from my point of view

sav: [ collapses ]

katelyn: [ crouches down ]

cleo: [ sits cross-legged on floor ]

aaron: dude you're literally 2 inches taller than me

cleo: 2 and a quarter

sav is so smug about this but in a good-natured way, in that she and cleo call aaron "kid" or "kiddo" or "pipsqueak" and he doesn't mind bcs they always say it w such a huge smile and he likes to respond to sav with "how's the weather up there, tall-ass?"

and katelyn thinks it's ridiculously adorable how tiny aaron is and obviously she uses him as an armrest all the time

katelyn, petting aaron's hair: guys guys omg he's like an angsty mini blond kitten and i would kill for him <3

sav, popping up between them: mini-yard :))

before i get super distracted, i just wanna mention that aaron met sav and cleo towards the end of november, so they missed the twin's birthday

but sav still insists that she must take him shopping bcs sure his fashion sense is fine but there's always room for improvement, isn't there, aaron??

he relents, so long as she and cleo and katelyn ( who already gave him a birthday present?? why's she doing this??? ) don't spend too much money

sav drags him all around south carolina to the best thrift stores she can find and cleo and katelyn are amazed that she can get such fantastic deals on the supermodel clothes she wears

fr she's literally a fashion design major ( + minoring in business management ) and she shows up to class in skilfully done drugstore makeup and an absolutely killer outfit for like 15 bucks

she grew up poor, and she's still poor now, even if she ( thankfully ) managed to scrape a cheerleading scholarship

sav, flicking through a rack of dresses labelled $4 apiece: RIP to little miss rich bitch reynolds but i'm different ;)

no hate to allison she's awesome but she grew up in the lap of luxury surrounded by designer brands so she knows NOTHING about thrifting and rationing money in general

oh and sav and allison have kind of a frenemies thing going on bcs they're both fighting for the top spot of their fashion design course

they spend the whole day shopping and aaron ends up with a highly upgraded wardrobe that contains a lot of cute pastel stuff and sav's promise to do his makeup

aaron insists on paying for dinner at the really nice pizza place a short drive from campus even tho they all protest

and andrew knows he's found new friends, but has no idea that it's the vixens and he's dating one of them. nicky does tho, but he's sworn to secrecy

nicky thinks his new clothes are adorable and is stunned when aaron tells him the total cost

"oh my GOD that girl sounds like a genius."

"yeah, her name's sav. you guys,, would get along, i think."

okay now for the winter break part!!

i think that you can get permission to stay at dorms if you're an international student or something??

anyways since sav's super upset bcs her father straight-up told her not to come home bcs he has a new girlfriend ( god i hate sav's father )

katelyn would stay with her, but her dad can finally have her home in new york for christmas and she really doesn't want to miss it

cleo, the only one with a properly functional family, is going back to her big family house and loving parents and grandma and aunt and siblings and cousins. love that for her.

so aaron and sav are stuck at psu for 2 weeks and aaron's surprisingly cool with this. and sav's excited bcs for the first time since her mom died, she can spend her christmas with someone she actually wants around instead of her shitty-ass father and his constant stream of bitchy girlfriends

they spend a lot of time together, stealing food from the athlete's dining hall to make their own weird combos, which usually ends with aaron making something Cool and Interesting and sav gagging and spitting out whatever strange concoction she had previously insisted would taste good

i literally can't bring myself to give a shit about the twinyards' deal bcs andrew literally became best friends with renee?? and hooks up with guys at eden’s??? idk what's going on there but it's like andrew is trying to control aaron's life while he can do whatever he wants??? and honestly wtf????

also let me just make it clear that i ADORE andrew so so much he's one of my favourite comfort characters ever but i'm not gonna make excuses for his shitty behaviour. i fully believe he heals and puts away his pride to apologise to aaron, nicky, and kevin for his treatment of them

that's definitely not to say that aaron's internalised homophobia isn't eww, but with so many important people in his life gay, he makes a huge effort to get over it

so andrew just thinks that aaron is spending a lot of time in the library or out with nicky or something

and when aaron tells sav about this deal, she's kinda horrified, but it's pretty clear to her that aaron so desperately wants to fix his relationship with his brother, and she's not in any place to discourage him, is she?

the only thing she can do is hope that he won't come out all the worse for it

and stare at the boy curled up on the other end of the pale pink sofa cleo's parents had gotten, wonder just how much shit he'd been put through, and decide she was going to be his best friend

aaron's face has gone entirely impassive. sav nudges his fluffy-socked foot with her own, then reaches out to smooth the crease between his eyebrows. "careful, you'll wrinkle your pretty little face."

aaron is very caught off guard by this, and very promptly flushes bright red, which contrasts with the pale teal hoodie he stole from katelyn

"okay, enough talk about depressing crap. wanna go make christmas cookies now?"

"yeah."

so they make christmas cookies. well, it was supposed to be christmas cookies, but it turns into double chocolate fudge cookies somewhere along the line. neither of them knows how

them baking together is the definition of chaos. they're still blasting songs, and sav is singing along terribly

"yOu'Re A mEaN oNe, Mr. GrInCh," while poking aaron's cheek as he tries to mix something. he throws a handful of flour at her. "yOu ReAlLy ArE A hEel."

anyways obviously sav retaliates and that ends in a flour fight. it only stops when aaron deadass cracks an egg on sav's head and she smears chocolate into his hair

she also tries to make him sing along to baby, it's cold outside

"i'Ve GoT tO Go `wAAyyy~" she holds a spatula up to his face

"go away."

they video call katelyn, who takes one look at the mess in the cramped dorm kitchen and sighs so loudly and dramatically that her dad pops in and asks if everything's okay

aaron freezes up at the sight of him and sav quickly turns off the camera, bcs they both want to make good impressions on him, and being covered in various cookie ingredients just won't cut it, ya know?

the cookies turn out delicious and sav sends all their group chat various photos of the process, most of which consist of selfies with her making goofy faces while aaron is simultaneously baking and flipping off the camera

plus a several videos of sav enthusiastically dancing and mouthing the lyrics of, as follows, all i want for christmas is you, let it snow, and santa claus is coming to town and aggressively pointing a spatula at aaron

"c'mon aari, just sing! please??? please???? please you can do it i believe in you!!"

finally he just. gives up. "okay, you know what? fine, i'll sing to ONE and then you will STOP bothering me you insolent dumbass."

sav beams. santa baby starts playing. aaron is very clearly going through five stages of grief in 0.5 seconds

"go on," sav says sweetly as she slides in next to a pouting aaron, "i'll sing with you."

sav slings an arm around his shoulder and sways with him, so it's just her doing that and him grumpily mumbling the lyrics

and when the cookies are cooling down, they start cleaning the kitchen up. aaron rubs some spilled egg yolk into sav's hair but it goes pretty okay otherwise, since they're just listening to more christmas songs and chatting about light stuff, like aaron's biochem course, sav's fashion course, and their dumb classmates

aaron mostly listens tho, and learns that sav kind of hates allison reynolds for giving up her inheritance when she would do ANYTHING for even the tiniest fraction of that money

but she still thinks allison's gorgeous bcs c'mon

and that sav's dream is to one day open her own boutique!!

aaron spends most of the actual christmas day with the monsters at eden's bcs nicky and andrew wanted to

he spent a lot of the time texting on their group chat

doessavvyisgay: so u just go to a nightclub every week??

unaliveme: i mean yeah, i literally worked here for a while. we needed money and nicky was already working 2 jobs night and day

actualblessing: babe ur backstory is so tragic

unaliveme: i'm a fox for a reason ig

cleo.magda: Yes but-

doessavvyisgay renamed this conversation "aaron miniyard support group"

unaliveme: oh ffs

unaliveme: sav subject change go

doessavvyisgay: i'm at the clothes store what should i get?

actualblessing: something pretty :)

doessavvyisgay: sorry, i can't buy the cashier

cleo.magda: Wow.

doessavvyisgay: I DID GET HER NUMBER THO

unaliveme: lmaooo what's her name?

doessavvyisgay: uh

unaliveme: savannah istg u don't even know her name??

actualblessing: s a v

actualblessing: damn u really do be turning on the Charm tho

actualblessing: respect i didn't even talk to aaron till i asked him for notes bcs he has rly pretty notes and also a rly pretty face

actualblessing: and even then i was like :0

unaliveme: IT WAS CUTE I PROMISE

doessavvyisgay: u 2 = the only valid heterosexual couple

actualblessing: rt

unaliveme: oh shit i'm getting super drunk

cleo.magda: Aaron, you drink? That's not legal, get out of there right now. Kids these days-

unaliveme: cleo u have literally seen me get drunk af,, the first time we met,,, and anyways this is how my family bonds ✌🏻

doessavvyisgay: that's. so damn weird kiddo but go off ig

actualblessing: no go find better things to bond about other than alcohol and weird sweaty dancing

cleo.magda: Yeah, go watch some Christmas movies!

unaliveme: nicky makes us watch die hard every year

doessavvyisgay: see u in hell, kiddo ;)

cleo.magda: I meant things like The Polar Express and Home Alone.

actualblessing: merry christmas ya filthy animals!!

doessavvyisgay: merry xmas y'all i'm gonna go to that christmas party bcs i'm super bored

unaliveme: merry christmas mothers and fuckers

cleo.magda: Merry Christmas, you guys!

#aaron & the family he's found all by himself #okay this was most aaron and sav centric #but i love them so. #aftg headcanons #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #aaron minyard headcanons #the vixens #aaron minyard #andrew minyard #twinyards #nicky hemmick #katelyn aftg #katelyn finley #sav jameson #cleo magdalene

[fill-me-up-now]

Sex story: What would you do to her?

One of our friend who recently married overseas so we showed her picture to a white man on what he fantasizes about her. This story is written in his perspective. 

A couple showed me a photo of a girl they know in her wedding gown and asked me what I would do to her... we came up with something and I eventually wrote this story from it:

She woke up in her hotel room all dressed up in her white gown. She had napped off after an exhausting morning, getting dressed and make up applied by her bride maids and the artist. They had left to help prepare the venue a while ago and told her to rest a while and play with her phone until they return to get her, but she had fallen asleep after a few minutes. She was still a bit dizzy, but pretty sure she woke up because someone was knocking at her door. A bit unsteady on her feet she walked over and opened the door...

He walked down the hallway of the hotel to return to his room, when a door just in front of him opened. A room service cart blocked most of the way, it seemed that the opposite room being cleaned right now. Someone came out of the first door and looked down the hallway, then slowly turned towards him.

When she opened the door she saw the cart of the cleaning person. Probably they knocked her door and when she didn't respond had started with the opposite room instead. No one else was to be seen anywhere down the hall, good, she still had some time to wake up and get ready for later then. She turned around and jumped in surprise, a man suddenly stood behind her between the cart and the and her. A bit dreamy she thought that he was quite handsome in his white business shirt and navy blue pants. Wouldn't mind if he was here to get into her room with her. But no, she shouldn't have such thoughts about guys already, she was about to get married today. Just that she was a bit deprived for weeks now. Her fiancé had this idea to stop having sex for a few weeks before they get married, so they could enjoy their wedding night more. She was so horny for days now and she wasn't even that kind of girl. Usually she was very innocent and reserved. So why would she want this guy in her room right now? Where did that thought even come from... "May I?" "W What?" Omg, it is happening??? "May I go past, I want to get to my room" Ohh. A bit disappointed but also relieved she realized that she was just blocking the narrow passage next to the cleaning cart with her dress and stupid face. She was still a bit drowsy from her nap. "S..sorry" When she still didn't move, the guy carefully put her hands on her side and gently pushed her into her doorway. Surprised by the unexpected touch she backed up, hit the door with her back and dropped her phone. Didn't even remember she was holding it in her hand. The guy got down and picked it up for her.

She was beautiful, as she stood there all dreamy in her dress, a bit lost. She seemed sleepy and he wondered if she had just woken up a few seconds ago. When he touched her hips in the soft silky white dress he could feel her warm skin underneath. Hmm. Wonder if she is so innocent as she looks.. He held up her phone in front of her and she closed her soft fingers around it and his own. "You look a bit dizzy, are you alright?"

The gentleness in the question surprised her. The light from her room now fell on his face and she thought, he really is handsome.. for a white guy... Her parents were very traditional, but because there where not a lot of Koreans in Singapore, they had eventually agreed for her to marry a Chinese Singaporean instead. She had only ever been with her one boyfriend, now her fiancé, since JC, but she always wondered how it felt to be with someone else. This white mans eyes were so pretty, she couldn't really tell were they green or brown or something in between? She realized she was holding on to his hand and her phone at the same time and blushed in embarrassment.

She was obviously in a bit of a daze just looking at him stunned. He thought this could be a chance, it was worth the a try. He pushed a bit closer, pretending to get through, but actually slowly pushed her into her room. She was still holding on to his left hand, while he gently put his right on her waist. She was leaning at the door now and when she felt him her eyes widened a little.

Omg what is he doing, is this really happening? She should resist and shove him away and close the door. But he was kind of halfway through her doorway already and his hand in hers and the touch on her waist made her forget all caution. What would happen next? Oh what was she doing! She shook her head and wanted to get out, but he now let go of her hand and was instead resting it on her shoulder. That was her naked shoulder, because her gown was a shoulder-less open dress. Oh it felt kinda good to be touched by a stranger like this, but also kind of scary. His other hand slowly moved up her waist and took her breath away. Or was it her tight gown? She couldn't think straight and she was getting very hot and dizzy from this situation.

She smelled amazing, a mixture of perfume and sleepiness.. he pushed closer and his cheeks touched hers while he pressed his body against hers. She was not resisting yet, but she didn't say a word. She was probably a bit in shock by his approach. Good, that would make it so much easier. He moved his hand further up and cupped her breast with it. She had small tits like most Asian girls here. He liked that, it made them look more innocent. Before she could resist this forward movement of him he silenced her by pressing his lips onto hers. "Mhhhhnn" She resisted a little. This was really too much now. What was he doing! She was in her wedding dress, he cannot see?? But those lips were so hot and soft. She opened her mouth a little to them. He pushed his tongue inside. Oh she hadn't felt that for a long time now. She had never done a lot of french kissing with her fiancé. She felt his grip tighten on her arm and breast. She fumbled for the door to hold on to something but only got hold of the do not disturb sign.. When he realized she was holding it, he gently but firmly took it from her hand. He moved her further into her room and past her door. He put the sign on the door knob outside and gave the door a soft kick, while continuing to kiss and touch her. The door fell shut. She was alone with a stranger in her room on her wedding day.

He had done it, the door was closed and the room service staff would not disturb them now. But he had to move quickly, no one could tell when her friends or even the groom would come to her room? Her dress was like an armor, hard to work through. It had a little lace and some ribbons on it, kind of cute he thought. She must be the girly type, but she was also very pretty. "Are you chinese?" "K..er.. Korean" was all she could get out. She swallowed. He wondered if she was wearing underwear below. He lifted her dress up below until he felt her thin legs, the skin was soft and smooth. He moved his hands up underneath her dress until he could feel her panties. Sadly. She gave out a little gasp when he touched it. He shushed her pressing his finger on her lips, then moved his hand to her inner thighs and up until he could feel the little bulge of her pussy under a thin layer of fabric. It was the cute kind, no lace, but that made it even hotter.

She gave out a little shriek when his fingers touched her pussy and pushed onto it outside her underwear, but her sound was muffled by his hand quickly pressing onto her mouth. She was panicking a little now. The drowsiness was gone, but she was flustered now and felt a bit helpless. She had let this good looking handsome man into her room and was alone with him now. The reality came to her now. He started rubbing her panties and she felt a bit uncomfortable, but also was getting a bit wet from it. It was so confusing.

He had to get the most out of her quickly, there was not much time and he was still standing halfway in the doorway with her. He moved her backwards to the bed slowly with one hand between her legs and the other firmly holding her neck, while kissing her and pushing his tongue in and out. The little slut responded with her own tongue. She didn't know what was happening to her. He loved it when girls were all flustered and confused by a bit of dominance. He could feel her get wet and her juices leaked through her panties already. He pulled down the panties a bit, she struggled to resist, but he grabbed her arm firmly, pulling her underwear down with the other hand. Her legs were caught now and she couldn't walk properly so she stumbled a bit. He gently shoved her backwards and loosing her balance she plopped onto the soft hotel bed with a tiny squeal of surprise. Better to get in there before she changed her mind about it now. She would be shouting for help.

She was lying on her back, with her skirt folded up halfway and her panties at her knees. This was not what she had expected of today. A stranger had mad her all wet and forced her into this damn situation and now she lay here with her panties at her knees, exposed. She was so embarrassed, she had never felt so embarrassed before in her life. She couldn't breath and tears came to her eyes and her throat was all tight. It had felt so good when he had shoved his tongue into her mouth, had grabbed her breasts and squeezed them, had felt her up her thighs. Her fiancé hadn't done something so sexy to her in a long time, but now this guy, she didn't even know, was taking her as if she was his. And she felt like she belonged, but at the same time was so scared of it.

She looked a bit concerned and he could see her eyes tearing, she was clearly a bit scared now, so he had to get in there fast. He pulled down and removed her panties entirely. Like he thought, the cute kind. Korean design, with pink hearts. His gaze snapped up to what he had exposed. She had a little bit of hair there, not too thick, but natural. He liked that about Asian girls, they apparently thought it is bad luck to shave their pussies or something. It looked so tasty. He covered her mouth with one hand and pushed the other onto her vagina. It was still wet and the soft black hair covering it felt smooth. He was so hard now.

She could feel his erection pressing into her thigh while he pushed his hand onto her wet hairy pink and split her open slightly, moving one finger up and down her slit. Omg she was all wet. She practically invited his finger in. If his finger already felt so good, how would that thing in his pants.. no She couldn't think of it even. She had to get out of this now. "Mhhghhhnn" she mumbled into his hand. "What was that?" "Mhet me mgmooh", she almost lost her breath again. He pushed his finger deeper into her slit. "Do you mean it?" She also wasn't sure.. "Mhmmetmegooh", she shrieked a little and struggled a bit trying to use her hands to shove him away now. He removed his hand from her pussy and grabbed her hands at the same time. So strong, it hurt a little. He looked around for something to tie them together and found her veil and some kind of scarf. He sat on her legs and quickly shoved one of them into her mouth under some protest, but she couldn't really resist. Her eyes wide he grabbed her arms tighter and tied them up with the scarf. "I am not gonna hurt you if you don't resist". She has sweating now. She tried to shout something but it was all muffled by her veil stuffed into her mouth. God it hurt and took her breath. He went down between her legs. She could feel his hands and arms pushing her legs apart and lifting her hips slightly off the mattress. He pushed his tongue into her and split her wet pussy lips. Oh god that felt good. She tried to breathe through her mouth but couldn't, she panicked and sniffled instead. She went dizzy. He stopped licking her pussy. "You cant breath? Let me help you with that." He removed her gag and she breathed in. She felt weak and exhausted, but her vagina was still twitching in excitement. She just lay there resting on her ellbows. He sat on her now and she could see that big bulge in his pants. He picked up her gaze.. "Do you like that? Do you want to suck it?" Before she could reply or even grasp the question, he opened his pants and pulled them down a few inches, together with his underwear. His thick big erected cock plopped out of the fabric and right into her sight. She was quite taken aback by the size. Her fiancé was not as big as this. But it looked so tasty, the red mushroom tip glistening with moisture, and she could feel her own become wet again between her legs. He didn't hesitate and shoved it into her face. She tried to avoid it and his cock smeared some wetness onto her cheeks. Omg this is gonna ruin all the makeup and people will totally know! She had no choice now because he pushed it towards her again and she opened her mouth a little, hesitating still, but he went for it and pushed it in. She gagged again, now by a meaty thick cock in her mouth. She felt so slutty now, but she liked it. She liked being gagged by this thick meat, that was much better than the dry fabric in her mouth. Why did she like it so much, she was a decent girl? She was between his knees now, but she felt the cold air from the hotel AC brushing against her wet pussy. He shoved his dick deeper into her mouth. And deeper. She gagged again, grasping for air. She felt like she would suffocate, but she didn't have the strength to resist anymore.

Her eyes widened while he shoved his cock deeper into her throat. Her mouth was so small, but she was salivating and it slit in deeper. She was breathing hard through her nose, but he could see her head get red and her eyes became suddenly hazy.. She closed them and soon she stopped sucking.. She seemed to have lost it he thought and pulled out. He turned around and looked at her limb unconscious body. She stirred a bit. Her vagina lay exposed before him. She was slowly coming back, so he had to do it now. He got between her legs and slowly pushed his cock, wet from her saliva inside her pussy. She jerked awake from a sharp pain between her legs! In panic, she realized where she was and what was happening to her. She felt her wedding gown on her, she felt her tied hands behind her, she.. "Aohhhh" she moaned loudly, when the man on top of her - she still didn't know who he was - thrusted his hard erection into her again. She almost split open. His cock was so big for a small Korean girl like her. She let out another moan, too loud maybe because he shoved his fingers into her mouth to quiet her down. She sucked on them. He pushed again and she bit down on his fingers from the shock. That bitch. His fingers hurt like hell but he didn't stop or pull out. He just pushed into her harder. She let go of her finger and moaned, softer now, then started sucking again as he fucked her more rhythmically now. That's better. He was breaking her. She wanted it now. She struggled until now off and on, couldn't decide but now she wanted to just let it happen.

It felt so good, to be fucked by this total stranger. She didn't want to resist any longer. It was already done now. Her tight vagina was stretched and she couldn't imagine to ever take a cock as small as her husbands again and enjoy it this same way. It felt like heaven. She wanted to touch her breast while he fucked her harder and harder, but she realized again that she was still tied up. Awkward.. but she kind of liked it. This whole experience. Was she mad? She actually liked being raped? By a total stranger? In her wedding dress? It almost made her climax. The thought of it, while his dick was inside of her. She wanted to cum, she wanted him to cum.. Omg. she realized in that moment that he was fucking her raw, without a condom, he would cum into her, plant his seeds into her. She felt sick suddenly. She was off birth control, usually her fiancé was using condoms. She struggled and managed to crawl away from the stranger, with her arms still tied. His cock slipped out of her and spew a bit of liquid on her legs. Omg, was that precum or just her wet juices? She tried to turn around and managed to get on her belly, but then he was onto her again. "Oh you want it from behind? I didn't take you for such a slut.." She was not! But she could feel his cock pushing between her butt cheeks the same second. Oh please don't let him push it in my ass. She squeezed her cheeks together and let his cock slip back into her vagina, which had secretly longed for it to fill her out again. He pulled her on her knees and fucked her from behind, her little bush brushing against his bare balls. This was better, he could take her so hard now, hold on to her hips and thrust into her. If she were to scream he could shove her face into the big hotel pillows. Hmm that kind of felt hot. "mhhhaaah" she moaned, getting there from his rod slipping in and out of her between her legs, as the full length went in again and again. He felt his cum building up in his hard balls now, and he could feel she was close to orgasm as well. "Now you like it you slut don't you? I'm gonna make you cum and then come with you." "Oh please don't cum inside me, please!" She was still scared, but at the same time her body just gave itself to the fucking now. She loved being on her knees in this humiliating pose like a dog. Oh she was so dirty, she was such a whore. She fucked her pussy away at her wedding day. She tripped, twitched and shook hard. "Oh yes you slut, you like it, you want it" "Oaaahhhhh" she couldn't stop moaning into the pillow in which he pressed her now, so she would not be so loud and attract attention. "Oh yes, you want my cum, you want my hot sticky juice all up your pussy" he pushed into her harder and she started coming again harder this time.

He was there all the way. This little innocent girl shaking in orgasms on her knees, with her wedding dress flipped up exposing her naked ass and her pussy all spewing wetness on his balls and legs. He released his and came into her hard. He unloaded all his hot sperm inside her obedient slit, pushing hard with every thrust until the white cream came out on the side and gathered at her labia. Omg she thought in her head, still shaking from the exhaustion and repeated orgasm, he came inside her and left his juice all up her pussy. She was sure she could never look at herself in the mirror again from now on. She just hoped she would not get pregnant, but they said it was not so likely. It would probably gonna take a few rapes to get there.. Omg what was she thinking, she was still delirious for sure.. She heard the door open and close and turned around and saw she was alone now. Her hands were still tied up, and she started gnawing on the knot to get it open. She barely realized how cum was dripping from in between her legs, while she sat up and freed her hands, then she touched herself, her stretched and raw pussy and wiped away the sticky goo. She looked at it sticking on her fingers with some disgust but also some thrill. She had been creampied by this stranger.. and she was kinda hungry now. Realizing how late it was she jumped out of bed and pulled down her dress and looked in the mirror. Luckily it wasn't damaged or dirty although she could feel some cum dripping down her legs. It would have to do. A knock on the door and one of her brides maids pushed inside. She had a spare room key.

"Omg what happened to you, you look a bit fucked up" "Oh nothing I just fell asleep" "You messed up your hair you dumb bitch, here let me help you" "Sorry, I know, how much time do we have" "You have to go already, they are almost ready for the ceremony, where is your veil" She glanced at the side of the bed where her crumpled up veil was lying on the floor. It was ruined. "Forget about it, I didn't really like it"... she thought back to that big throbbing cock in her mouth.. that was so much better.. she chuckled inside at the thought of it. "Okay lets go, its gonna be great, don't worry! You will not forget this day ever!"... She was pretty sure she wouldn't.

[artificialqueens]

don't play the fool now (multi) — chapter five - Roza

[ summary ] : detox is feeling the pressure setting in as she completes the first day of her new mission though a distraction is paving her progress and bianca simply can't catch a break between a cute detective, katya and her own issues.

[ author's note ] : literally it's been so long I CANNOT, I am so so so so sorry omg... most of this was written about november so I am sorry if it's not up to par ): — lily xx

(´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`) / AO3 / My Tumblr

— *.✧

"Welcome to the place you'll be spending the next few months!"

Detox dropped the two boxes she was carrying in from the minute she had stepped into the elevator with Tatianna who had been showing her around the offices and police force building: this was by far the most idiotic and yet stressful mission the blonde had to deal with thus far.

Become an entirely different person

Pretend you're a transfer from another department

Get close to the captain of the unit

Murder or get information. Or both.

The details hadn't been worked out yet but Bianca had made it clear that Detox was not there to play around and flirt, she would be doing all the undercover work.

It was nothing but peachy keen to Detox. A frustration building in her bones. She had to spend the next few days, weeks, months acting like she was up to date with whatever the detectives and police force would make her out to be. Thank god she knew her narcotics, weapons and the basics: murder, how to get rid of fingerprints, stains, bruises, the stench off a dead body, all the things that being a professional had taught her.

She couldn't possibly be that useless.

Changing her hair was the worst part. No question.

Going from royal blue to a blonde bombshell wasn't exactly her style even if it definitely would cover up the overstated hair color and make her seem at least a tiny bit less suspicious with her long, flowing hair now blonde and curled thanks to Aquaria's whimsical hairstyling techniques.

"Welcome to me…" the words leaving her lips in an immensely hushed tone as she stared right back at the detective who gave a smile, eager to see another new worker around in their new and improved NYPD unit.

"You're gonna do great Heather, no doubt's honey."

She decided last minute to use her sister's name as her own for the time being, knowing Detox was a bit of a rough risk and besides: what better way to pay respects to the person and lawyer she had been closest to before going off to prison for substance abuse, smuggling of illegal substances and all the other things she had managed to hide from her transcript.

Bianca I fucking hate you, I really have to pull strings here and by myself.

The older girl butt in to her as the blonde had begun to set up her laptop and trinkets around, praying no more people would bombarde her for today. "You should totally get settled in but I know for a fact that Trinity wants to meet any of our new recruits! She's the unit's captain and I promise you, she's a bit hard hitting but super closested sweetheart."

Trinity .

So this was the person she had to play guessing games with the next few months and woe over in one way or another, to follow and pry her fingernails under.

"I'll definitely check her out."

"Thank you!"

She pulled out first a picture frame that held a sepia filtered photo of Detox, Alaska and Roxxy at their senior graduation together: all dolled up even from the beginning, it was odd to keep such sentiments from the pure and clean days before rotting in crime but what could she say? They were all still together, still best friends even if Alaska sometimes worried more for herself than anyone else, a bit colder than she used to be.

Once she had organized her things she stepped out of the door and made her way around the office, her acrylics hugging the file she had to give to one of her new co-workers for examination. They had spent hours working over the loophole with paperwork but luckily after careful examination and some strings pulled with Katya, they had come up with a solution and now she was Heather Sanderson, born in Maryland and a former employee of the local police department.

"Are you Heather?" A voice spoke behind her gently yet firm as Detox stared at the empty chair confused before wincing and turning quickly seeing a tall blonde with about her hair length and piercing eyes staring at her with intent for a reply back, her ID placed around lanyard which was littered with Canadian flags and text that reads Toronto across the fabric.

"Yes! Are you Brooke?" Nervously extending her hand she was met with a curious recluctentance before the Canadian smiled sweetly, sitting back in her seat once she parked her iced tea on the coaster she had sitting on her desk.

"I am, I know you have the files Tatianna was telling me about if I can look at them. Just the usual medical and background things I have to handle."

Detox looked over Brooke's shoulder, ignoring whatever the detective had to say towards her even though she was sure it was the usual welcome she had become so accustomed to since this morning. She had stepped through the doors starting her new mission, angry that Bianca had to assign her to such a damn cup out: go undercover and pretend you're a decent human being for a few months so we can get a deeper insight and information on the police and detective department.

Peering over her shoulders, she noticed a police officer of average height. Sporting the signature uniform as well as long brunette hair that curled at the ends—lighter highlights cascading from her roots: she had a great upkeep and hairstylist clearly though her dark brown eyes and perfect made over face was the focal point.

Fuck, she's gorgeous.

The same girl had taken off her jacket and threw it on her chair, continuing to chat with the person right near her point of vision, blinking as her makeup shined under the dimly lit up computer screen she was staring at meticulously. Her body hugging her tight fitting blouse and her badge shining.

Brooke tapped the older woman's shoulder with a laugh, "Stop staring with your mouth open, you'll catch flies." Detox rolled her eyes, not about to take shit from her new "peers" as if she were to become close to anyone she had to work within the next few months of the missions allocation.

"That's Trinity Taylor, she's our police unit's captain."

The sirens flared off in her head instantaneously once she fit the last piece of the puzzle: this was the girl, thegirl she had to woe and become close to and get information out of for Bianca, for the team.

Trinity was why she was getting paid and doing this entire mission.

"She's very pretty."

Brooke laughed, rolling her eyes at how dense the new rookie was being. "Yes, she's also got really thick skin, a cold hearted exterior and is surprisingly hilarious as ironic as that may sound." The Canadian shook her head, "She's single but I wouldn't try it, especially since she's your squadron leader and will absolutely give you the beat down no matter the call."

This mission definitely just got interesting.

"Oh don't worry about that, just seeing what I'll have to work with is all."

The brunette caught the eye of the gaggling stares, Detox immediately snapping from it and looking away completely embarrassed though she heard a slight snicker under Brooke's breathe, wanting to slap her. Hearing the thud of the boots under the tiles she simply stood her ground and was prepared to act as casual as possible.

"Morning Trinity." The Canadian hummed aloud, typing across her floral tape covered keyboard pretending to analyze the files while not so secretly deciding to eavesdrop and see where this conversation goes.

"Good morning Brooke Lynn." Trinity crossed her arms and took a look up and down Detox who stood with a permanent paralyzed fear in her eyes, she felt so damn fearless all the time and yet one glimpse of this girl had completely tore her down piece by piece and left her distraught. It was pathetically hilarious.  

"Jesus, I'm not gonna kill you for staring, not like I can blame you." She flipped her hair as Brooke coughed to hide the obvious smirk across her lips as she took a long sip of her iced tea that Adore had brought her from Starbucks. Going vigorously through the files she had managed to find her medical records and began her less than exciting examination.

"Hey, you're the one member of our unit, right?"

Finally feeling enough willpower to respond she bit her lip and nodded, "Yeah, Heather." Trinity gave a broad handshake, firmly holding her hand as the blonde licked her lips feeling a bit out of place already and obviously.

"Trinity Taylor."

"It's nice to meet the person everyone told me to go and scout out in the first place."

Trinity tilted her head to the side and chuckled. She was definitely amused that Detox was so reluctant to smile, to breathe since it was her first day: the atmosphere was always tense but that was just the job. The Floridian could only hope she wasn't threatening in her status and by her looks alone or else the training and all that came after would be a complete and utter disaster.

Detox wanted to slap herself, every time she glanced over or they made basic, polite eye contact her entire body jolted awake and she could tell by her change in expressions that she was utterly terrified. Which was extremely odd considering how calm she felt at her actual profession which was twice was horrifying and awful in danger, stress, you name it.

"Well, your first assignment with me is just a refresher, I'm sure you know basic training coming from another unit?"

"Absolutely."

She ran her nails through her blonde hair as Trinity handed back her files with her eyes gleaming and a smile slipping through, "See you soon, my office is down the hall." A flush crept up on Detox's face as she turned and gave a goodbye to Brooke Lynn who waved back and turned with an immediate sigh, taking one more sip from her iced tea.

"You're hopeless."

— *.✧

Bianca sat aimlessly in her chair, scrolling through the constant masses of emails she had to sort and help with, the requests and the actual patrons and then those who simply knew her as their boss. She had never given most of her own girl's and team her personal phone number to the fact she knew it be taken advantage off. Only three people had her number on this damn circuit: Sharon, Jinkx & Bob.

However, despite this there was still an influx of text messages that read off requests from the other girls to which Bianca would bitterly reply with them to email her and not have Sharon, Jinkx or Bob become the scapegoat for their needs and wants or better yet: just don't bother Bianca!

Well that wasn't entirely the truth however it was close enough.

She understood the tasks she had to take on as a leader even if it meant countless requests and permissions granted.

The older woman's phone buzzed and the corner of her lips curled into a smile, hoping it be Adore whom had been quite a good company even just through the phone the past couple days. Her humour, her personality, fashion sense, job— she was everything Bianca wasn't and it made every exchange the more exciting and yet, opened twice the bigger grey area between them.

From: Katya (3 Unread Messages)

"Oh just this fucking whore."

Relieved she didn't have to think about two hours for a reply Adore sent, She slid open her phone with her fingerprint and sighed before her eyes grazed over the messages plainly.

Bianca! девушка !

I believe we should go and see Trixie since you told me you need to make some transactions...

I can tell you that I would be glad to tag along and contribute ;) xx

Her fingers slid across the keyboard as she typed up a reply.

If you're driving.

You're more than welcome to come with.

She assumed the notification she got almost immediately after her texts was an indication that Katya was already on her way and that she should get ready for her.

I'm outside whenever you're ready, you know where I park.

Blatantly staring at her phone she got up and only took a small blue clutch purse and tied her hair up feeling nothing but discontent towards wanting a development between her and a fucking detective . She could almost slap herself, she actually wanted Adore to text her back and it felt fucking disgusting to actually enjoy human interaction that wasn't the usual rundown about missions, jobs or sewing.

Though the sewing usually only applying to Aquaria who would come and see her on the rare downtime they had. The younger girl always asking about her hems, a new sewing trick or what fabric to use for what kind of silhouette.

She locked her office and gave a quick holler to Jinkx who sat in the common area, reading a book and drinking what must've been her third or fourth cup of coffee judging by the dried stains that splattered across the white cup. Bianca interrupted simply letting her know she'd be with Katya to finish some needed exchange and business.

"Have fun, tell Katya and Trixie hello from me."

Bianca didn't care too much about getting money from Trixie, she was sweet and kept a secret well enough considering her position. Though half of that underlying sweetness was probably from the paralyzing fear that if she ever told anyone she'd be blown out on the spot, no hesitation by Bianca herself.

Approaching the blue BMW Bianca's eyes wandered through her backwoods garage, undeniably pressed that she had to even go to the bank and be in public. She kept her image hidden well, no one would ever suspect Bianca Del Rio as the most known menace and wanted mafia boss in New York. All they would see is a blonde, thick Russian accent and leather jacket on with her friend; black hair, thick mascara and quite the fashionable woman.

At least that's what Bianca had hoped for as a first impression.

Katya's grin sat permanently pursed across her lips as she took the car out of park, turning out of the secluded garage and looking to Bianca for any last minute changes, any final looks of reclusiveness. The older woman cleared her throat, her fingers running through the hair that stranded from her face as she put on her sunglasses with a hard roll of the eyes.

"Let's get this shit over with."

#rpdr fanfiction #biadore #detox x trinity #trixya #bianca del rio #adore delano #katya zamolodchikova #trixie mattel #trinity taylor #brooke lynn hytes #aquaria #hitman au #crime au #detective au #lesbian au #roza #concrit welcome #detox icunt

[shakespearean-tc]

Teacher Crush Background

Originally posted March 29th, 2019 Some background on me and A.

I know that like, I haven’t known him for 2 or 3 years like others in the community, but… I dunno I really needed to get my story out because keeping this in is so hard

He started teaching at my high school around late January. He’s small for a guy, like 5′ 5-6″. I’m almost 5′ 10″ so??? theres an issue haha but hes adorable. We’re 6 years apart? Does this even matter? Who knows.

Anyway, he began as our student teacher and I seriously thought that he was such a dork at the beginning. It was an endearing thought, but he seemed so quirky? Which isn’t a bad thing but he had sO MuCH ENERGy. hes a millenial so like he knows all of the memes and vines and omg i just- Yeah. He’s a good teacher and he’s gone through some rough stuff, but he’s just??? Such a wonderful guy.

Eventually, I found out he was a huge nerd? i was just talking about Legend of Zelda with my friend and he just literally like I swear to god, his ears perked up and he was like “Yo were you just talking about Majora’s Mask?” And i was like “Uh wow, yeah i was how tf did you-” “OMG I LITERALLY LOVE THAT GAME SO MUCH ITS MY FAVORITE”

But I guess??? I’ll just like share some times when I really was like “omg i think i have a crush” because why tf not i dunno what the heck im doing

1- This is like 2 weeks in since he’s been teaching us. We were doing an exercise so that we could work on our natural reactions, yeah? You would say a word and the other people in your group would answer with the first word that came to mind. Because in theatre, it’s really difficult to fake a genuine reaction to something and also because improvisation my dudes

But anyhow, I was bored and I just kinda was like “Trauma.” And my friend, E, goes, “PTSD” and then my other friend just yells “TYLER” and A just leaped up and was like “CONCERN?!??!?!” and so he just walked over and we were laughing so hard i could hardly breathe, but he just looked at us, slightly concerned, and my friend made some stupid comment, I cant even remember what it was but i started laughing even harder that i snORTED and he looked at me and I just went bright red and he started laughing SO HARD THAT HE WAS ALMOST CRYING and we finally calmed down and i just kinda mumbled “omg i hate my laugh that was awful” and he just smiled at me and was like “Hey, don’t. it’s real and it’s an awesome laugh. i love it.”

2- This was probably about a month in or so. Middle of February. He started out coming to class dressed like?? Really nice, and hes got long hair so he always wore it in a ponytail. He was in like slacks and dress shirt, tie, etc, etc. I always thought it was kinda cute, but then one day, out of the blue- He shows up to class with his hair down, jeans, sneakers, a zelda shirt and this really nice leather jacket- i swear to god he walked into class and i like glanced up from my sketchbook and had to do a friggin double take??? He looked like a different man??? but he looked so much more comfortable like jeez wow he looked so nice, and now he dresses like this all the time

3- One day after class, i was packing up my stuff, and it was just me and him in the classroom. out of the blue he started coughing really hard and really bad and i like dropped everything and was like “OmG ARE YOU OKAY DO YOU NEED HELP” and he just kinda shook his head, and drank some water. after a minute he turned to me, and was like “No, im ok, im okay” and i was like “okay, but??? are you sure??? that scared me” and he sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose and said “listen, idk if ill tell the rest of the class, but… you cant tell anyone about this because its embarrassing.” and i was here thinking “wtf is it??” and he says “I have Cystic fibrosis (ill refer to this as CF later on in my blog posts at some points).” and i looked at him all weird and was like “what is that” and he tells me “its hard to explain but basically my lungs dont work right and its hard for me to breathe a lot of the time.” and i just “how come ive never heard of it?” He says “Its really rare. its a life threatening disease, and i dont like to tell many people about it because i feel like they treat me like im delicate and fragile, and i dont want to be treated like that. please don’t tell anyone else.” and i smiled softly and nodded. “Okay I won’t. Just… let me know if you need help.” He smiled at me. “Thanks M. Will do. Have a good day.”

4- In late February. We were working on memorising our scenes that we had written and one of the other groups had just finished theirs. it was a very sad scene and he was like “Ouch, right in my feels. good job guys.” And he started walking out of the room, when one of the girls was talking to me and said “yeah, were gonna have her die in the end” and by now, A is out of the room, but i hear like a very soft thumpthumpthumpthump and he runs back into the room and yells “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’VE DONE THIS” and runs out, leaving the rest of us dying of laughter. (another time me and my friend were quoting vines and she goes “say colorado!” and he runs up behind up and just “IM A GIRAFFE”)

We’re really good friends, always talking after class and sharing jokes. He sometimes rants with me after school.

I guess this last one is when I realised I was… almost falling in love with him. I know it sounds so silly, but idk its nice to finally be able to say it.

This was the 1st of March. It was the night we were performing our scenes, and there was like 100-150 people in the audience. I have bad stage fright, but what you need to know is that I had a boyfriend a few years back who killed himself, and sometimes I see people that look like him, and i almost get… triggered?? Idk how to explain it but i break down. Anyway, we were backstage and I was helping one of the groups carry off their props when, for some reason, I looked out into the audience and I froze. Because in my eyes, there was a man sitting there that looked identical to my dead boyfriend. I started to shake, and I dropped the prop I was holding. Luckily the lights were almost completely out, so the audience could hardly see anything. My friend grabbed me and the prop and dragged me off stage. I got out into the hall next to the theatre and i just stood there, like a deer in headlights. the hall was almost completely empty, and my friend was like “are you alright?” i told her i was fine, and that I just needed a minute. she went back into the theatre to watch the other groups perform. i was alone in the hall now, and everything hit me like a brick. i began to get really dizzy and i started to lean against the wall. every time i closed my eyes, all i saw was that man, and i started to sob. i was shaking and i felt like i was going to die. i was already really anxious about our scene, and i was hitting the wall with my fist because i was kinda mad at myself. my boyfriend had been dead for about a year, and i got so upset with myself when i thought about it because i blamed myself for everything and i felt stupid because he’d been gone for so long. my knuckles started to bleed and thats when I heard the backstage door shut and I whipped my head around to see A there. I quickly tried to wipe away my tears and pretend like I was fine. He looked at me, and the rest went as such:

A: “M? What’s the matter? Why are you crying? Are you okay?” Me: “Yeah, I’m fine. Totally fine. Peachy. I’m great.”

I laughed and I wiped more tears from my eyes, but the salt started to sting my bleeding knuckles. I hissed in pain, and his eyes widened. He grabbed my hand.

A: “M? What… Why are your knuckles bleeding? You’re- You’re crying. You’re obviously not alright.”

I laughed again, shaking my head.

Me: “No. I’m fine.” A: “Your knuckles are bleeding. You are NOT fine. Please. Tell me. What’s going on?”

I took a deep breath, and I heard the other door open. The other group must’ve been finished with their scene. Some of the other kids began filing out and I tried to make it look like I hadn’t been crying.

“Excuse me?” I heard someone ask.

A and I both turned around. And lo, and behold. That man. was right there. I dont know his name. i know nothing about him. but he was a spitting image of my boyfriend. “Do you know when (name of my classmate) is performing her scene? She’s my younger sister, and I’ve got to get home soon, but I don’t want to miss it.” He informed us.

I turned around again, trying not to freak out while A told him that they would be on stage soon. The man went back into the theatre, along with my classmates. I was choking back tears and A must’ve noticed. A: “M? Are you sure you’re okay? You look like a deer in headlights.” Me: “Who is he? I- I don’t want to see him again, he looks like- like-” At this point in time, I couldn’t hold much back. I began to cry all over again and A sat me down against the wall. I told him everything. I told him about my boyfriend, the suicide, my anxiety, how I was so scared to get on stage, and that I couldn’t handle seeing that man. I told him all of it. When I was done, he reached for his shirt collar and pulled out a locket. He opened it, showing it to me. A: “Do you see her?” There was a young woman in the photo with A, and they were both laughing.

Me: “She’s pretty. Who is she?” A: “My sister. She passed away from CF when I was 16. I wear this locket to remind me of her and how she was one of the only people who believed in me, especially when no one else did. Everyday, it keeps me strong, and reminds me that I can go through hard things and make it out alright in the end. Now, I want you to listen closely. First of all, your boyfriend’s suicide was NOT your fault, okay? No matter what. It was his decision, and I know that he wouldn’t want you to spend your entire life blaming yourself for something he chose. Second, you have no reason to be scared on stage. I’ve seen you trying so hard to get your lines memorised and become this character. You’re such an amazing actress and you’ve no reason to feel uneasy. Stage fright is hard. It really is.” He grabbed my hands at this point. “But you are AMAZING. And you are going to be so wonderful up there on stage. I have faith in you M.”

I swallowed, and nodded, wiping my eyes. He stood up, and helped me stand up. A: “Now c’mon. Let’s go see if we can find some bandaids for your hands.” We both went to the classroom, found some bandaids and cleaned off my hands. When it came time for our scene, he wished me good luck. For once, I felt confident. I felt like I was alright. After the entire show was over, we were cleaning up the stage. My friends were waiting outside for me by my car and I went over to A. He set down the prop he was holding and turned to me, smiling. A: “You were great! I told you that you could do it!” Me: “Thanks A. I just wanted to let you know that tonight meant a lot to me. I was really upset and anxious, but you made me feel a lot better. You’re a great teacher, and I’m so glad that you’re with us.” He smiled really big. A: “Thanks M. That means a lot to me. You have a lot of potential, and I love talking with you. Have a good night.” I bid him farewell, and since then? Things have been different. We’re… friends, I suppose. We talk after class more often, we have intellectual discussions over email, we share an emotional bond. I guess that’s when I really realised I was basically in love with him. He’s one of the only people in my life who I can feel completely comfortable around, someone that I trust with basically everything. He makes me feel special and of worth, and I know it all sounds so silly, but I really adore him. Thanks for reading this whole big long post, i guess

i really like the tcc community to be honest, even though im remotely new to it. a lot of people seem really cool if you ever want to rant to me or just talk, im here to listen!

#teacher crush #teacher x student #tcc #tcc blog #tcc community #teacher #student #student teacher #tc

[warmau]

aah I really like your recent seventeen neighbour au! can you do that for the rest of the members too? if that's too much then just wonwoo, soonyoung, and seungcheol. Thank you!

joshua, mingyu & seungkwan can be found (here) ~

Wonwoo

relatively keeps to himself, is the kind of mysterious neighbor that no one really knows much about 

sometimes kids are afraid of him because he has a really deadpan expression so the moms are always like “wonwoo-ah ,,,,, please smile? it’s so nice out!!”

but he ends up just getting embarrassed and then asking mingyu when they hangout at a cafe like “kids never let me pat their heads,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,am i scary?”

and mingyu is like uh WELL,,,,,,,,,,,,

but in reality wonwoo is a sweethearted angel. like he picks up litter if he sees it around the apartment building and always offers to hold groceries for any of the elder neighbors 

also he always gets cutely startled when another neighbor’s dog comes over to him and sniffs him or barks in greeting and he’s like !!!!! usually ends up dropping whatever he’s holding

and he looks down at the little like ??? pomeranian and is like “so,,,,,scary,,,,”

and the owner is like omg,,,,,,,,,,,no they’re not scary they’re cute do you wanna pet them??? and wonwoo is like NO ,,, no ,,,,thank you i gtg

his apartment is really clean and well kept,,,,,,he has this vintage looking record player and collects mostly older jazz stuff that’s soothing and sometimes even a lil sad

when his friends come over they’re always like “dude,,,,,,,do you have any records from like pop groups???” and wonwoo just blinks and is like “why would i have that,,,,,,i listen to records before i sleep i don’t think i could fall asleep to snsd’s ‘party’,,,,,,”

he’s also a big fan of blankets and has them everywhere so he can fall asleep anywhere he pleases: the living room, the bedroom, the goddamn kitchen -

doesn’t really decorate his walls but has a photo of parents and brother in the hallway and every morning he waves goodbye to it before he leaves,,,,,it’s cute

and you have seen wonwoo before, mostly in passing. he never really looks up from his phone or book so it’s more like passing a ghost than anything

until one day you’re both on the floor at the same time and as you unlock your door, you take a step in until you look back and see that,,,,,,,,,,,

wonwoo is staring at his door and you’re like ?????? what’s he doing

and then you see him literally fall forward with his forehead against the door and you’re like IS HE OK and you’re hesitant but you call out like “everything alright???”

and wonwoo turns his head and he’s like ,,,,,,, “i don’t have my keys,,,,,,,im locked out.”

and you’re like ,,,,,,did you,,,,,,,forget them inside??? and he nods,,,,shamefully looking at the floor and you’re like oh,,,,,unsure of what to do

but then you hear it. a growl. 

a stomach growl

and you can’t help but laugh and wonwoo puts a hand shyly over his shirt and he’s like “e-excuse me,,,” but you’re like “if you’re hungry you can come over, im just making ramen tonight so?” 

and wonwoo is shy, he’d usually probably decline because he doesn’t want to bother you but then he hears his stomach growl again and he knows mingyu (who has a spare to his apartment) is gonna take like 2 hours to get here

so he nods and you grin, telling him not to be shy and come over.

and once you’re inside, wonwoo sitting awkwardly at your kitchen table you’re like “so,,,,,while the water is boiling - tell me about yourself.”

and wonwoo is like “there’s not much,,,,,” and he tells you that he has a brother, he likes to listen to music, write lyrics sometimes,,,,,and he’s kinda like “im sorry im boring” and you’re like no not at all and once the ramen is done you guys keep like talking

and wonwoo is a little reserved, obviously you guys are strangers basically, but you keep listening with enthusiasm and you smile when he attempts a joke and ask him more about himself

and unlike most people you’re not,,,,,,,making some comment about how he looks angry or tired. you’re just,,,,,,,genuinely listening and it’s been a long time since wonwoo has met someone new who didn’t right away seem judgmental of how kind of simple he is about most things

and once he realizes that mingyu is calling him to let him know he’s here, wonwoo is kind of upset that he has to leave the conversation,,,,,

but you tell him that it was nice talking and he thanks you for the food and when he meets mingyu out in the hall

mingyu is like nudging wonwoo and he’s like “that neighbor you were with - they’re cute.” and wonwoo is like “oh,,,,yeah they are,,,,,and they’re nice,,,”

and mingyu’s like wiggling his eyebrows and he’s like “did you just call someone nice,,,,,,,,,hmmmmmm i thought you weren’t a people person,,,,”

and wonwoo is like GIVE me the spare keys mingyu

and mingyu is like “go ask the neighbor on a date and i will.” and wonwoo is like m I NG Yu,,,,,,,but mingyu won’t let up because he’s like c’mon i know you think they’re cute 

so when you hear a knock on your door and open it, wonwoo is biting his lip but he’s also like “not,,,,not to be weird but are you free this weekend? i just want to get to know you more so we can get coffee,,,,,,,if this isn’t awkward,,,,”

and you’re like oh,,,,,,,,you’re flattered and you’re like sure!!! and wonwoo is like ,,,,,,,,well in shock because you agreed but also blushing because wow,,,,,,,he actually got a date with you,,,,,,

and you exchange a time and place and you smile before closing the door and wonwoo swears his heart beats a bit faster

but then he hears mingyu’s voice like GET IT BRO and wonwoo is like “give me the spare this time or eLSE-”

Hoshi

always running out of his apartment because he seemingly is late no matter what???

like no matter how many alarm clocks he sets,,,,,,he leaves his house juggling his keys, his bus pass, his jacket, his water ,,,,,, and his hair looks like it has never seen a brush in it’s life

he always ends up forgetting something too. usually it’s literally he forget to lock the door to his apartment 

but this is his charm!!!! all the older people are like “he’s such a youthful young boy full of energy!” and all the kids think he’s super cool because he dances and does taekwondo 

and also hoshi has this bad habit of listening to music way too loud in his headphones so if you’re on the elevator with him you’re sure to be hearing shinee’s 1of1 album blasting through the small space 

and speaking of shinee, hoshi looks up to them so much he has their poster up on his wall. well he has a lot of stuff on his wall from the medals he’s won in taekwondo, to bizarre polaroid photos of seokmin and minghao, to autographs he’s gotten from famous choreographers he’s met

and his wall is a mess, so is his floor and bed. like there’s training clothes everywhere and his bed is never made and the only saving grace is the can of febreeze he got from mingyu as a gift on secret santa 

his refrigerator is just big bottles of water and frozen sushi he got from the grocery store and like no one understands what in the world he’s living off??? maybe he’s running off energy from the sun??? who knows

and you know hoshi, it’s impossible not to with his crazy bedhead and his singing outloud to ‘sherlock’ habit

and you guys are friends, not like super close but you know enough to talk in the hall and one day as you’re talking you mention you just beat your highscore in ‘just dance’ on this song by usher

and hoshi’s like “that’s your highest score? i could crush you if that’s your best.” and you’re like OH WANNA BET 

and hoshi is like hell yeah i wanna bet come over and ill show you how a pro does it

and so you end up sitting on his couch (which he had to clean, there were chip bags and notebooks on it) watching hoshi turn on his wii and before starting the game he turns around to give you a grin and you’re like PFFT you’ll never beat my score

but ,,,,,,,,,,you are wrong. he beats your score. that and also,,,,,,you’ve never seen such a good dancer in your life

BUT ARE YOU GONNA ADMIT THAT ? NO WE DON’T LOSE IN THIS HOUSE

so you get up there and you bust out everything you have and hoshi is like OOOOOOO you look serious,,,,but it won’t be enOUGh

and by the end of it you’re huffing and puffing but,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,YOU GET A HIGHER SCORE

and you’re like AYEEEEE I WON GIVE ME THOSE 50 BUCKS WE BET

and hoshi is staring at the TV with his jaw on the floor but then he’s smiling and he’s like “you’re so cool!!!!!!!! you actually beat me!!!!!” and he high-fives you because tbh he’s competitive but like,,,,,,,he’s also a sweet guy

and you’re like ohg;ldskgfh,,,,,i did,,,,,,,,,,,,,

and hoshi is like “i don’t have fifty bucks on me, but i do have enough to take you out to dinner? it’ll be japanese take out though,,,,,” and you’re like LOL that’s fine. free food = good prize

and hoshi like offers out his hand and he’s like “shall i escort you to the five star restaurant than?” and he’s got this mock british accent but you’re laughing and you take his hand 

and you only blush when you realize that you guys are still holding hands as you leave the building and go up the street,,,,,,,,,,,,

and maybe you blush even more when hoshi is like “doesn’t this kinda feel like a first date?” right in front of the cashier at the takeout place and you’re like SHUT

but he’s just grinning and you’re like,,,,,,,what is going on

and hoshi is like “i figured just dinner isn’t enough so, ill add another thing to your prize.” and you’re like what is it??” 

and then he like pokes his cheek and is like “this date with me~~~~” and you’re like never do aegyo again but omg you’re cute,,,,,,,

Seungcheol 

casanova of your apartment building 

winks and uses the same “you look like a flower every time i see you, but this time - you’re in full bloom~” line on everyone,,,,,,,,,and when i mean everyone i M E A N E V E R y o n E

even the dogs that live in the building ,,,, like there’s a lady with a little chihuahua on the second floor and after telling the lady she looks ten years younger than before, seungcheol like calls the dog a beauty and wow is that dog blushing?????? probably 

he’s kind of a really popular guy,,,,like to the point that people will wait outside your building and be like “does seungcheol really live here??? i heard he’s so handsome you can’t look him straight in the eyes,,,,,,,”

but in reality,,,,,, his apartment is just the most least romantic thing ever LOL

like there’s just sports equipment, sports magazines, and empty water bottles everywhere ,,,,,,, and his laundry pile is so big it’s threatening to fall over,,,,,,, and like the only thing he has for decoration in his whole apartment is like a picture frame he got as a housewarming gift from seungkwan but ,,,,,, there’s no picture in it

and like he’s lucky because he has a balcony he can go out onto but on it is his bike that takes up half the space and dying plants he never takes care of

and he’s so,,,,,,,like well-kept when he leaves the house but then he comes home and throws everything off and like literally rolls into bed or plays video games in just his sweatpants

and you know more than anyone else how the ‘suave and cool’ seungcheol really is because you’ve been friends since before you were neighbors

and you’re always over at his place sitting on his balcony and just talking (mostly gossiping because seungcheol actually has a LOT to say and the view from the balcony is nice)

and sometimes you come over and trip over like a jumprope he left on the floor and the only reason those plants on his balcony are not DEAD but definitely close is because you water them when you drop by LOL

and seungcheol tries to bribe you to do his laundry but you flick his forehead and you’re like “no. im not your maid. get joshua to do it.”

and one day you come over and you’re like ,,,,,, seungcheol your apartment is negative ten degrees” and seungcheol

who is sitting on his couch in a literal down coat is like “yeah i forgot to pay the heating bill.”

and you’re like OH MY GOD but you’re also like get up loser you can spend the night at my place and not die here like a human icicle 

and seungcheol is like like i love you you’re my everything my SAVIOR

and you’re like SAVE IT DO NOT GREASE ME

so seungcheol ends up in your living room on your couch instead and you’re like ok goodnight and seungcheol is like “hEY,,,,,since im here let’s watch a scary movie or something” and you’re like dude we’re not kids this isn’t a sleepover your dumb butt literally didn’t pay- and seungcheol is like fine fine you’re scared I GET IT

and you pause because exCUSE me who did you call scared???? move over

and you plop down next to him and pick the scariest movie you can find and you’re like “first one to scream is a big loser - ok?” and seungcheol is like “when in my life have i ever screamed? you’re on”

but halfway through,,,,like you aren’t even paying attention because you’re sitting under the same blanket as seungcheol and like his arm is practically around your waist and your thighs are touching and he’s really big and warm

and you’re tired,,,,,,you had a long day and before you know it you’re knocked out. like what movie? what bet? ZZZZ time

and seungcheol notices, and he’s like oh they’re asleep,,,,,he should move so you can lay down

but as he’s watching your face illuminated only by the light of the TV like ,,,,,, seungcheol notices finally just how nice your features are

and you two have been friends for like ever,,,,, but he’s never quite looked at you and taken it all in,,,,,,,,and somehow now that he is

seungcheol is like ,,,,,, oh god ,,,,,,,, you’re cute

and not only that???? you literally have saved his ass so many times from bringing him actual food when he forgot to grocery shop, to helping him get hotpacks when he pulled his shoulder, to now,,,,,,when he found himself freezing in his own apartment like YOU saved him

and leaning down he brushes some hair from your face and he’s like,,,,, you know what im not gonna move

and instead moves a bit so your head falls on his shoulder more comfortably and he moves the blanket off himself so it’s covering all of you

and he falls asleep too,,,,,,,,,with the movie still playing

and in the morning you open your eyes and you’re like wow my mattress is so warm but broad and oooo it’s moving

but then you look down and oh hey there seungch- WHAT

and you want to jump up and be like WHAT IS GOING ON but seungcheol lazily opens one eye and is like “go back to sleep,,,,,,,”

and for some reason nothing feels wrong about this,,,it’s surprising but not wrong,,,,,,,,

so you just shrug and go back to sleep as you feel seungcheols arms wrap tighter around you

and oh my god isn’t the best friends to lovers cliche amazing,,,,,,it really is hehe 

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen scenario #wonwoo scenario #wonwoo scenarios #Hoshi scenarios #hoshi scenario #seungcheol scenario #seungcheol scenarios #s.coups scenario #s.coups scenarios #wonwoo #hoshi #s.coups #sfw #member: wonwoo #member: s.coups #member: hoshi #seventeen imagines #seventeen

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'Riverdale' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Oh, Betty...

New Post has been published on http://gossip.network/riverdale-season-2-episode-5-recap-oh-betty/

'Riverdale' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Oh, Betty...

Tonight’s Riverdale episode was intense, to say the least. There were breakups, (more) fist-fights, IRL rattlesnakes…even a subtle Taylor Swift reference. Let’s just jump right into the madness. Spoilers ahead.

We open with Betty Permanent-Ponytail Cooper shooketh to her core because she’s currently phoning with the Black Hood. He’s clearly using some cheap-ass software to alter how his voice sounds, like he’s on To Catch a Predator or something. Apparently, the Black Hood was at the town hall—just like Betty and Jughead predicted—but he didn’t hurt anyone.

This is so ridiculous: The Black Hood says he wants to “cleanse” Riverdale of “sinners,” including Betty’s sister, Polly, who he believes has a “sin in her womb.” Somehow, he knows Polly’s living at a farm two hours north of Riverdale, and he tells Betty he’ll “carve” Polly “like a jack-o-lantern” if she tells the police she knows his next move. I should be scared, but I’m cackling.

Minutes later, Alice comes barging in and laments about how Jughead’s showing his “true colors” now that he’s moved to the South Side. To be honest, though, I think Jughead’s the worst no matter where he lives. Alice suggests Jughead is the one responsible for a lot of the fuckery going down in Riverdale, which I wish were true.

Meanwhile, Archie gave into the principal’s demands and issued an apology about the Red Circle. Wah! Bummer, this means no more hot shirtless dudes wearing masks and screaming nonsense.

But he has enough nonsense coming from Betty: Stupidly, she decides to risk Polly’s life and tells Archie the Black Hood called her. They exchange worried, wide-eyed glances, and Archie says he’s not going to let her go through this alone. But being alone is better than having loose-cannon Archie on your team, IMHO.

Veronica’s ex-boyfriend, Nick St. Clair, is coming to Riverdale with his parents to see the SoDale Project Hiram’s working on. The Lodges need investors with deep pockets, and Hiram and Hermione essentially tell Veronica to seduce Nick (and, subsequently, his parents) into giving money to SoDale. Archie’s clearly miffed at the idea of Veronica’s ex coming to town.

Over at South Side High, the Serpents are still salty about the rainy fist fight they had with the Red Circle and the article Alice Cooper wrote condemning the South Side. Their solution to this is to blow up the newspaper office. Jughead, naturally, flips out when he hears this and pleads with them to change their plan. They basically tell Jughead to STFU and that he can’t be half a Serpent. He has to choose between them and Riverdale (read: Betty). Jughead furrows his brows at this like a child. He then goes to a Serpent bar, in his father’s Serpent jacket, and says he’s ready to fully join the gang. He’s obviously lying, but the Serpents buy it and warn him about their “initiation” process. Oof.

PHOTO: The CW

Spoiler alert: It’s a dog. The initiation process is literally just Jughead having to take care of a dog. Oh, and then he has to memorize a bunch of Serpent rules and scream them in a bar like a marine. And then he has to stick his hand in a rattlesnake’s cage! OMG?!?

Apparently, Jughead wants to become a Serpent to keep the gang from from waging an all-out war against the North Side. It’s a noble gesture, but does he really think they’re going to listen to him? He wears a beanie! Also, it’s very apparent Toni Topaz is developing feelings for him (which I don’t understand). Bughead drama is on the horizon, tweens.

Wait! The Black Hood calls Betty again! With Archie in the room! He says Alice is a “thorn” they need to get rid of, which is ominous AF. The Black Hood then sends Betty an email and tells her to publish it to prove her “loyalty” to him. If she does this, he’ll answer one question that she has—and she can ask anything, except his name.

But this task is a little tricky, seeing as how what he wants Betty to publish is insane: It’s an old newspaper cover featuring teenage Alice on the cover with the headline, “South Side Teen Arrested and Released on Bail.” Yes, friends, this means Alice Cooper used to be a South Sider—which totally explains her blind hatred for it. Betty doesn’t think they should publish the mugshot, but Rogue Psycho Archie does. Of course.

The St. Clairs blow into Riverdale looking like the most stereotypical rich people alive. Veronica and Nick have some mild flirtation, but, like Archie’s way hotter so I’m not concerned.

But maybe I should be: After Nick and Archie have dinner at the Lodge’s, Nick offers them cocaine, which they turn down. Nick compares the Riverdale teens to “country mice” and essentially sticks his nose up at their entire existence. Nick does like the Pussycats, though, and he invites them (and Veronica) to a party he’s hosting. Cheryl invites herself because she’s iconic.

PHOTO: The CW

A quick detour: Sheriff Keller (a.k.a the salt-and-pepper snack) says the handwriting from the letter the Black Hood sent Betty and the one he sent Alice aren’t a match. This fuels Alice’s hatred for the South Side and her belief that Jughead is the one behind Betty’s letter. However, this is just a ruse: The Black Hood is so obviously behind both. Anyway, Alice’s resentment toward Jughead bites her in the bum: It gives Betty the motivation to publish the mugshot of her the Black Hood sent.

And in return, as promised, Betty gets to ask the Black Hood one question: Would she recognize his face? He says, “yes,” and then he creepily goes on a rant about how he wants Betty all to himself. He wants her to cut everyone else out of her life…or he will. And the first victim is Veronica, or as he calls her, “the daughter of an embezzler.” Rude!

This drama is put on hold so Bughead can make out and lie to each other about their problems. Betty also lies to Archie about the Black Hood calling her again, and she pretends everything is OK between her and Veronica at Nick’s party later that night.

Which is nuts, by the way, because Nick brings Jingle Jangle, that crazy drug that looks like Pixy Stix. And they all do it! Well, except Betty. Fearful of the Black Hood’s wrath, she intentionally starts a fight with Veronica, branding her a fake and a crook, just like her father. She then leaves the party, abruptly, and Veronica’s visibly upset.

Cut back to Jughead: Toni Topaz warns him that the final test to become a Serpent, the Gauntlet, is intense as hell and he needs to prepare himself to lose his North Side friends and Betty. Jughead’s not fazed, but he should be. Your laptop can’t get you out of this, bud!

Oh my God, Nick is garbage: He says Veronica was “teasing” him all night at the party and attempts to make out with her. She literally has to force him off. He gets angry at this and tells Veronica he has the power to “implode” Hiram’s SoDale deal. This is 100 percent an attempt to coerce Veronica into sleeping with him, but she doesn’t fall for it: She slaps him in the face and walks away.

God, the Black Hood’s demands just don’t stop: Now, he wants Betty to cut out Jughead…and she asks Archie to do it for her. He goes to Jughead’s trailer to deliver the news minutes before the Serpents show up. They all clash. Archie’s pissed Jughead’s joining the gang. Jughead’s pissed at Archie for being Betty’s messenger. It’s all a mess, and it ends with Jughead jumping head first into his final Serpent challenge. (Which is essentially just the Serpents beating the shit out of him.)

PHOTO: The CW

Goddess Alice certainly isn’t letting that mugshot bring her down: She shows up to the SoDale open house with a snake around her neck, just like New Taylor Swift, and tells her husband (Hal) to “shove it.” Meanwhile, Nick thinks a simple, “I’m sorry” rectifies sexually assaulting Veronica. He says he’s been in and out of rehab. Veronica doesn’t want to play nice, but she knows her parents are counting on her—so she appeases him.

And, yup, Nick is a monster: Cheryl shows up to the SoDale benefit, and he slips some type of pill in her drink. He attempts to sexually assault her, but Veronica and Josie and the Pussycats intervene before he does anything. And then they beat the shit out of him. It’s glorious.

Betty gets yet another call from the Black Hood after she dumps Jughead. He says his identity is hidden in some abandoned farmhouse, so of course she runs there to find it.

There’s a present in the middle of the house, and the Black Hood tells Betty to open it. Inside there’s—wait for it—a black hood, and he instructs her to put it on and look in the mirror. That’s the answer: He says they’re the same person. So…does this mean the Black Hood is a Cooper? Hal? Betty’s brother? Dark Betty?!? WTF!?

Oh, and WTF, part two: Toni takes Jughead and Betty’s “breakup” as an opportunity to kiss him. Does this mean they’re a couple now?! His beanie is still warm, girl!

Holy crap. It’s not over yet. The Black Hood calls Betty one last time and says he knows she’s been telling Archie about their chats—and now Polly’s going to pay for it. However, he says he won’t kill Polly if Betty tells him another person to kill. She hesitates and finally gives him a name: Nick St. Clair.

Parting thoughts: This show is woefully underusing Cheryl Blossom.

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[literateape]

This New Road Will Some Day Be the Old Road, Too

by Don Hall

There were many things I enjoyed about London but London was not one of them.

It was best in the earliest hours on either end of the day - before anyone has risen from sleep, as the streets are slightly abandoned or after most sensible people have retired for them night and the only folks out are the desperate or the lucky.  Even then, however, the place was too jammed in like an entire city population too fat for the skinny jeans they had been squeezed into.  And dirty.  Not dusty.  Wichita is dusty.  Sedona is dusty.  This was grimey as if a layer of greasy soot coated the cracks and spaces untouched and made your skin feel like you were being slightly prepped for sautéing.  

It was decades ago but the realization that I only love New York City for a maximum of two days in a row before I want nothing more than to leave solidified over several trips to The Big Apple.  To fully enjoy NYC, I need to not be staying in the city but just outside of it and for as few days as possible.

Leading up to our third wedding anniversary, DMJ and I decided at first we wanted to go to Edinburgh, Scotland for the Edinburgh Festival Fringe but decided that August was a bit too early for the trip and we didn't want to be landlocked to the non-stop activity that takes over Edinburgh that time of year.  We talked it over and decided it would be London in September with a day trip to Scotland if we wanted to in the moment.

I perused the Priceline deals and things went from a $4800 trip to a $2600 trip and we nailed down flights (the cheap tickets included a seven hour layover in Detroit going there) and our modest hotel and we were set.  Travel guides were read, plans were planned and discarded and planned again.  Ten days in London, England.  Rock On. 

CHAPTER ONE: NAKED TV and PLUSH PLAGUE RATS

We stayed in a small 3-star hotel on Bayswater (a few blocks from Hyde Park and the Paddington Station hub for trains and the Tube.)  The room was tiny but the bed was adequate.  The bathroom, however, was so Lilliputian that I could rest my chin on the sink while dropping a deuce (seated sideways because of spacial constraints...) 

The first night found us watching British television.  We landed on a strange dating show called "Naked Attraction."  Like any other dating show except that the choser gets to see the six possible dates naked before he/she chooses, starting with the feet and working up.  Obviously, it's the genitals that get the most on-air attention.  And, of course, we were fascinated.

This show set a stage for some fairly bizarre stuff we encountered on our stay.  

The documentary on penis size.  I mean, a whole documentary about guys with giant dicks.  DMJ loved it.

The random Persian guy who was suddenly very friendly, who thought he'd ingratiate himself to us by telling us how much he loved Trump, who tried to get us to hang out with him by quoting his father "Where there is a contact, there is a contract." Insisting that we have coffee with him.  He was holding a book - “From MTV to Mecca” - and insisted that the author was his girlfriend but the book seemed brand new, she hadn’t signed it and maybe the Trump-love colored my perceptions but he seemed off.  I'd watched enough Better Call Saul to know where that was going so we got away from him and felt certain at coffee there would arrive a friend of his and the task of separating our money from our persons would be in play.

And, at the Globe, in the gift shop, the plush toy Plague Rats.  Seriously.  Someone thought in a store filled with reminders of Shakespeare, a cuddly stuffed rat that had brought the bubonic plaque to England was a real seller.

CHAPTER TWO: Finding Wonder in a World of the Driven

DMJ and I always have a specific source of dissonance when we go on holiday: she prefers to avoid anything touristy and enjoys walking about the place discovering things that make her smile while I prefer to immerse myself into those historic and/or gaudy places that give me a sense of the history of the city.  In other words, DMJ is all about the present as discovered in the now and I am all about the past as discovered by paying a serious fee to enter and avoid being sold plastic bullshit along with the history.

There were many things we both loved about London but London itself was not among these things.  The city felt like New York City 200 years after the Empire had fallen - the Center of the Universe, the Hotbed of Commerce and International Focus Left Behind.  The sense of seas of unhappy faces streaming into the Tube or along the streets to their jobs, dressed for business rather than comfort, the rat race embodied, was far more standard than my expectation of Europe.

On the other hand, amidst the hustle of the business class swarming the city in search of pounds, we discovered or paid for a series of lovely experiences in London.

Madame Tussauds was the London version of the place and sort of like Wax Museum Central worldwide.  For some unexplained reason, I LOVE wax museums.  So, of course, we had to go.  DMJ had never been to one and now can say she's been to the best, therefore she never has to go to one with me again.  This one provided one of my favorite photo ops of the entire trip:

Sir John Soane's House was one of DMJ's planned outings.  An architect and collector, his house was three floors and a basement of the most meticulous hoarder or architectural ephemera imaginable (including a sarcophagus.)

The British Museum was one that DMJ passed on but I had to go experience.  One of the oldest museums in the world and free at that, this place could've taken me two days to truly explore but I managed to get a solid visit in under four hours and was amply blown away by the sight of ancient shit, mostly taken legally, from all over the known world.  Mummies, busts, the Rosetta Stone, a clock made by Copernicus.

Shakespeare's Globe Theatre was kind of amazing.

Hyde Park/Kensington Gardens.  DMJ loves to be outside in the sun among green stuff and people.  Therefore, we toured almost every park and every garden (including an incredible little Oriental Garden in the center of Holland Park) in London but the biggest and best was the giant park just blocks from our hotel.  The Kensington Palace, tributes to Diana, an Italian Gardens, the Serpentine Gallery with an extraordinary exhibit on the nature of being black by Arthur Jafa.  We also managed to run into Robert Neuhaus and his wife Amy - we agreed that after me leaving "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" it was far more likely to hang out in London than in Chicago.

Covent Garden Market was one of several open-air marketplaces in the city that we visited.  This included a woman singing opera in the courtyard, some of the best gelato ever, and a Moomin store.  I had never heard of Moomin but DMJ went apeshit when she saw there was a store.  Of course, we bought things there.

Of course there were more minuscule and grandiose pockets of extraordinary places we encountered.  Buckingham Palace, the Tower Bridge, the Tower of London, and the Leighton House Gallery with a unique Alma-Tadema exhibit that DMJ had a Moomin-like reaction to as well.

And fucking Abbey Road.

CHAPTER THREE: Wherein I Realize That, While I Am in Relatively Good Shape, My Body is as Fragile as a Fucking Faberge Egg

Sunday afternoon, after a quick nap from walking all creation and back, I get up, bend over to put on my shoes and my lower back goes into a spasm that is an eight on the OMG Pain Scale.  Later, my mother tells me that, in her opinion, these back spasms hurt worse than childbirth.  Having never given birth, I can't corroborate but it fucking hurt in a huge WTF?! surprise that left my brain spinning and my body immobile.

DMJ went out and bought me heat packs, ibuprofen, and made a makeshift cold pack.  I lay on my back with my legs elevated.  I slept on the floor in agony that night.  The next morning, I was in pain but could get up.  We went out but I realized pretty shortly that , while I could walk, I couldn't sit down for more than 20 seconds before a shooting pain went from my back down my legs and up again.

I felt like I was suddenly 94 years old.

We ate in a restaurant on Portobello Road called The Distillery.  The food was maybe the best meal we had the whole time and they were gracious enough to allow me to stand at the bar to eat instead of stand at a table like a bizarre jackass.

I was just a walking ache but managed to muscle through it for the most part.  I mean, what the fuck are you gonna do?  Stay in your hotel room, lying on the goddamn floor, 6,000 miles from home?  Nah.

The worst I had it was three days after.  The pain was rough and I had eaten something odd the night before.  We were walking around downtown London, checking things out, when I was suddenly hit with some intestinal distress.  Like most major cities, there are no public toilets in London.  DMJ suggested a church.

Which is how I found myself dropping a massive deuce in 15-second increments because it hurt so much to sit down and shit that I had to keep standing up in the bathroom of a 500-year old place of worship and stretch my back.

Back in the States, I've mostly recovered with the exception that the skin on my right thigh up to the right half of my crotch is numb.  Which is weird.

CHAPTER FOUR: Scotland Makes Me Wish I Had Been Born There

The afternoon three days before we were to head back to Chicago, London had begun to take her toll.  DMJ had wanted to go to Somerset House and, while it was fine, between her missing home and/or Paris and me feeling like I was being twisted in half 65% of the time from the waist down, we were both feeling less than upbeat.

I decided to head off on my own to the British Museum, she decided to go back to the hotel.  I did go to the museum and loved it, she instead drank red wine for a few hours.  When she came back to the room she was a bit lit and in a rotten mood.

"Let's go to Edinburgh tomorrow.  Anyplace but here!"

So I booked our high-speed rail tickets and splurged on a $400 a night hotel room smack dab in the center of the city.  The next morning, we packed for an overnight stay and headed to Scotland.

I had been to Edinburgh for a month in 1995 when I took two shows to the Fringe and had maintained a sense that Scotland was magical.  I frequently told people that Edinburgh was the one other place on the planet I could live outside of Chicago.  As we trained our way across the beautiful, green countryside, I wondered how much of my love for the place was an exaggerated thing exacerbated by the distance of 22 years.

It was not overblown.  From the second we pulled into the station, I felt a unique calm and delight.  I felt like I was home again.  The hills.  The green.  The castle turrets.  The craggy rocks.  The brick streets.  The sights and sounds.  The smell.  And DMJ felt it, too.  Suddenly, the trip took on the wonder of traveling someplace amazing that we had hoped we'd experience in London.

It was lovely.  We went and toured Edinburgh Castle.  We had whisky and I had a deconstructed haggis that was outstanding.  We walked through cemeteries and up hills and drank and talked about the things we loved about London.  It turned out we had enjoyed ourselves more than the last few days seemed.

And then again, back to our little hotel room and out the next day to fly ten hours home.

EPILOGUE

The most important thing on this entire trip was that we flew out to the United Kingdom to celebrate our third anniversary and we did.  The night of September 12, we walked a few blocks to a traditional pub called "The Swan," went upstairs, ordered drinks and food and dessert and toasted our good fortune at finding one another.

In Edinburgh, in a quaint courtyard square that housed the Writer's Museum, there were engraved stones peppered about on the walkway.  One of them nailed exactly how I was feeling:

"And yet - And yet, this New Road will some day be the Old Road, too." - Neil Munro (1863-1930)

My life with DMJ is just that - a series of New Roads that quickly become Old Roads (or at least roads we have travelled upon together) - and in my imagination of what has come before and what new roads and adventures lay ahead, it is the together part that makes it worth doing.

#3rd Anniversary #Taking a Shit in a 500 year old church with a bad back #Edinburgh #London #DMJ

[theliterateape]

This New Road Will Some Day Be the Old Road, Too

by Don Hall

There were many things I enjoyed about London but London was not one of them.

It was best in the earliest hours on either end of the day - before anyone has risen from sleep, as the streets are slightly abandoned or after most sensible people have retired for them night and the only folks out are the desperate or the lucky.  Even then, however, the place was too jammed in like an entire city population too fat for the skinny jeans they had been squeezed into.  And dirty.  Not dusty.  Wichita is dusty.  Sedona is dusty.  This was grimey as if a layer of greasy soot coated the cracks and spaces untouched and made your skin feel like you were being slightly prepped for sautéing.  

It was decades ago but the realization that I only love New York City for a maximum of two days in a row before I want nothing more than to leave solidified over several trips to The Big Apple.  To fully enjoy NYC, I need to not be staying in the city but just outside of it and for as few days as possible.

Leading up to our third wedding anniversary, DMJ and I decided at first we wanted to go to Edinburgh, Scotland for the Edinburgh Festival Fringe but decided that August was a bit too early for the trip and we didn't want to be landlocked to the non-stop activity that takes over Edinburgh that time of year.  We talked it over and decided it would be London in September with a day trip to Scotland if we wanted to in the moment.

I perused the Priceline deals and things went from a $4800 trip to a $2600 trip and we nailed down flights (the cheap tickets included a seven hour layover in Detroit going there) and our modest hotel and we were set.  Travel guides were read, plans were planned and discarded and planned again.  Ten days in London, England.  Rock On. 

CHAPTER ONE: NAKED TV and PLUSH PLAGUE RATS

We stayed in a small 3-star hotel on Bayswater (a few blocks from Hyde Park and the Paddington Station hub for trains and the Tube.)  The room was tiny but the bed was adequate.  The bathroom, however, was so Lilliputian that I could rest my chin on the sink while dropping a deuce (seated sideways because of spacial constraints...) 

The first night found us watching British television.  We landed on a strange dating show called "Naked Attraction."  Like any other dating show except that the choser gets to see the six possible dates naked before he/she chooses, starting with the feet and working up.  Obviously, it's the genitals that get the most on-air attention.  And, of course, we were fascinated.

This show set a stage for some fairly bizarre stuff we encountered on our stay.  

The documentary on penis size.  I mean, a whole documentary about guys with giant dicks.  DMJ loved it.

The random Persian guy who was suddenly very friendly, who thought he'd ingratiate himself to us by telling us how much he loved Trump, who tried to get us to hang out with him by quoting his father "Where there is a contact, there is a contract." Insisting that we have coffee with him.  He was holding a book - “From MTV to Mecca” - and insisted that the author was his girlfriend but the book seemed brand new, she hadn’t signed it and maybe the Trump-love colored my perceptions but he seemed off.  I'd watched enough Better Call Saul to know where that was going so we got away from him and felt certain at coffee there would arrive a friend of his and the task of separating our money from our persons would be in play.

And, at the Globe, in the gift shop, the plush toy Plague Rats.  Seriously.  Someone thought in a store filled with reminders of Shakespeare, a cuddly stuffed rat that had brought the bubonic plaque to England was a real seller.

CHAPTER TWO: Finding Wonder in a World of the Driven

DMJ and I always have a specific source of dissonance when we go on holiday: she prefers to avoid anything touristy and enjoys walking about the place discovering things that make her smile while I prefer to immerse myself into those historic and/or gaudy places that give me a sense of the history of the city.  In other words, DMJ is all about the present as discovered in the now and I am all about the past as discovered by paying a serious fee to enter and avoid being sold plastic bullshit along with the history.

There were many things we both loved about London but London itself was not among these things.  The city felt like New York City 200 years after the Empire had fallen - the Center of the Universe, the Hotbed of Commerce and International Focus Left Behind.  The sense of seas of unhappy faces streaming into the Tube or along the streets to their jobs, dressed for business rather than comfort, the rat race embodied, was far more standard than my expectation of Europe.

On the other hand, amidst the hustle of the business class swarming the city in search of pounds, we discovered or paid for a series of lovely experiences in London.

Madame Tussauds was the London version of the place and sort of like Wax Museum Central worldwide.  For some unexplained reason, I LOVE wax museums.  So, of course, we had to go.  DMJ had never been to one and now can say she's been to the best, therefore she never has to go to one with me again.  This one provided one of my favorite photo ops of the entire trip:

Sir John Soane's House was one of DMJ's planned outings.  An architect and collector, his house was three floors and a basement of the most meticulous hoarder or architectural ephemera imaginable (including a sarcophagus.)

The British Museum was one that DMJ passed on but I had to go experience.  One of the oldest museums in the world and free at that, this place could've taken me two days to truly explore but I managed to get a solid visit in under four hours and was amply blown away by the sight of ancient shit, mostly taken legally, from all over the known world.  Mummies, busts, the Rosetta Stone, a clock made by Copernicus.

Shakespeare's Globe Theatre was kind of amazing.

Hyde Park/Kensington Gardens.  DMJ loves to be outside in the sun among green stuff and people.  Therefore, we toured almost every park and every garden (including an incredible little Oriental Garden in the center of Holland Park) in London but the biggest and best was the giant park just blocks from our hotel. ��The Kensington Palace, tributes to Diana, an Italian Gardens, the Serpentine Gallery with an extraordinary exhibit on the nature of being black by Arthur Jafa.  We also managed to run into Robert Neuhaus and his wife Amy - we agreed that after me leaving "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" it was far more likely to hang out in London than in Chicago.

Covent Garden Market was one of several open-air marketplaces in the city that we visited.  This included a woman singing opera in the courtyard, some of the best gelato ever, and a Moomin store.  I had never heard of Moomin but DMJ went apeshit when she saw there was a store.  Of course, we bought things there.

Of course there were more minuscule and grandiose pockets of extraordinary places we encountered.  Buckingham Palace, the Tower Bridge, the Tower of London, and the Leighton House Gallery with a unique Alma-Tadema exhibit that DMJ had a Moomin-like reaction to as well.

And fucking Abbey Road.

CHAPTER THREE: Wherein I Realize That, While I Am in Relatively Good Shape, My Body is as Fragile as a Fucking Faberge Egg

Sunday afternoon, after a quick nap from walking all creation and back, I get up, bend over to put on my shoes and my lower back goes into a spasm that is an eight on the OMG Pain Scale.  Later, my mother tells me that, in her opinion, these back spasms hurt worse than childbirth.  Having never given birth, I can't corroborate but it fucking hurt in a huge WTF?! surprise that left my brain spinning and my body immobile.

DMJ went out and bought me heat packs, ibuprofen, and made a makeshift cold pack.  I lay on my back with my legs elevated.  I slept on the floor in agony that night.  The next morning, I was in pain but could get up.  We went out but I realized pretty shortly that , while I could walk, I couldn't sit down for more than 20 seconds before a shooting pain went from my back down my legs and up again.

I felt like I was suddenly 94 years old.

We ate in a restaurant on Portobello Road called The Distillery.  The food was maybe the best meal we had the whole time and they were gracious enough to allow me to stand at the bar to eat instead of stand at a table like a bizarre jackass.

I was just a walking ache but managed to muscle through it for the most part.  I mean, what the fuck are you gonna do?  Stay in your hotel room, lying on the goddamn floor, 6,000 miles from home?  Nah.

The worst I had it was three days after.  The pain was rough and I had eaten something odd the night before.  We were walking around downtown London, checking things out, when I was suddenly hit with some intestinal distress.  Like most major cities, there are no public toilets in London.  DMJ suggested a church.

Which is how I found myself dropping a massive deuce in 15-second increments because it hurt so much to sit down and shit that I had to keep standing up in the bathroom of a 500-year old place of worship and stretch my back.

Back in the States, I've mostly recovered with the exception that the skin on my right thigh up to the right half of my crotch is numb.  Which is weird.

CHAPTER FOUR: Scotland Makes Me Wish I Had Been Born There

The afternoon three days before we were to head back to Chicago, London had begun to take her toll.  DMJ had wanted to go to Somerset House and, while it was fine, between her missing home and/or Paris and me feeling like I was being twisted in half 65% of the time from the waist down, we were both feeling less than upbeat.

I decided to head off on my own to the British Museum, she decided to go back to the hotel.  I did go to the museum and loved it, she instead drank red wine for a few hours.  When she came back to the room she was a bit lit and in a rotten mood.

"Let's go to Edinburgh tomorrow.  Anyplace but here!"

So I booked our high-speed rail tickets and splurged on a $400 a night hotel room smack dab in the center of the city.  The next morning, we packed for an overnight stay and headed to Scotland.

I had been to Edinburgh for a month in 1995 when I took two shows to the Fringe and had maintained a sense that Scotland was magical.  I frequently told people that Edinburgh was the one other place on the planet I could live outside of Chicago.  As we trained our way across the beautiful, green countryside, I wondered how much of my love for the place was an exaggerated thing exacerbated by the distance of 22 years.

It was not overblown.  From the second we pulled into the station, I felt a unique calm and delight.  I felt like I was home again.  The hills.  The green.  The castle turrets.  The craggy rocks.  The brick streets.  The sights and sounds.  The smell.  And DMJ felt it, too.  Suddenly, the trip took on the wonder of traveling someplace amazing that we had hoped we'd experience in London.

It was lovely.  We went and toured Edinburgh Castle.  We had whisky and I had a deconstructed haggis that was outstanding.  We walked through cemeteries and up hills and drank and talked about the things we loved about London.  It turned out we had enjoyed ourselves more than the last few days seemed.

And then again, back to our little hotel room and out the next day to fly ten hours home.

EPILOGUE

The most important thing on this entire trip was that we flew out to the United Kingdom to celebrate our third anniversary and we did.  The night of September 12, we walked a few blocks to a traditional pub called "The Swan," went upstairs, ordered drinks and food and dessert and toasted our good fortune at finding one another.

In Edinburgh, in a quaint courtyard square that housed the Writer's Museum, there were engraved stones peppered about on the walkway.  One of them nailed exactly how I was feeling:

"And yet - And yet, this New Road will some day be the Old Road, too." - Neil Munro (1863-1930)

My life with DMJ is just that - a series of New Roads that quickly become Old Roads (or at least roads we have travelled upon together) - and in my imagination of what has come before and what new roads and adventures lay ahead, it is the together part that makes it worth doing.

#3rd Anniversary #Taking a Shit in a 500 year old church with a bad back #Edinburgh #London #DMJ

[estin1987]

My Second Date

For once I was actually on time for something. Well, as much as I try to be, its not always intentional to be late. I swear I try.

"I'm in the Grand Hall at Union" He texted.

"I'm on the TTC side, I'll walk to ward you" I replied.

As I walked up the stairs to his direction, I can feel my heart flutter with every step. But with every step also came some anxiety. I was nervous. Do I hug? do I kiss his cheek or on the lips?

As I walked toward him I smiled and was still even deciding what to do. But before I knew it, he was right in front of me and greeted each other with a peck by lips.

I thought to myself... "Ok, that's a good sign I hope. I'm not terribly ugly looking today, so that's a start" lol

We started walking to the Sushi place Miku by harbourfront and I've never been there before. But when we arrived, I thought, "shieeeeet, this is gonna be expensive!" *clenches wallet* NUTS! I say.

We ordered some brussel sprouts with pork belly bacon, spicy edamame, sushi rolls, and what not. IT was all good, surprisingly, especially the brussel sprouts.

Each taste and flavour was so satisfying, even the torched sushi melted in my mouth. It was worth the price I suppose. But in the end, let's face it, she was still hungry. I happily agreed with him, "Oh I'm open to ordering more if you want to. otherwise, I'm fine!" GASP! my first lie, well kinda. I could still have eaten more but I figure, drink more water! don't be bloated! Don't look like a fatass!

Alas, dinner was a success and I was so worried that I had food stuck in my teeth like I always do. Thankfully there was none. It wasn't until we got up from our table after paying did he point out "Oh your foot is dragging the table napkin with you". and I laughed embarrassingly OMG.

*stomps* DAMMIT! I thought I had it going for me. Embarrassment #1 of the night. There may be a few more as the night goes on. But man that was the first, I could not believe I did that. Better the table napkin than toilet paper I suppose!

We walked from the Harbourfront going north through the insides of office buildings towards union station and beyond. Little did I realize how quiet it was through these areas, like people deserted it and just left these unchartered roads for us. There was even a cute view when he showed his office building and the CN tower. I kinda wondered if this was a romantic moment or should I just ruin it and pull a joke of sorts.... I chose the latter lol. I can't remember what I said exactly, was it a pun? was it innuendo? was it reference of sorts to something earlier? Dammit I wish I knew, if he sticks around I'll ask him again and see. Perhaps his memory is better than mine.

Anywho, we kept walking and we ended up at MArche for dessert. He got his Apple strudel with chocolate sauce on it, where I had a crème brule. It was quite the tough choice between a crepe and waffle, but I saw the price of them both and I thought, HEYYYYYYLLL no. lol. HARD PASS.

We sat in the back of Marche which was coincidentally where he wanted to take me to but on the café side, which was closed. Either way, we sat in front of two of these cute photos of L'Arc de Triumph and La Basilique du Sacre Coeur in Mont Martre in Paris, literally one of my favourite spots in that city. How fitting to have a crème brule, I thought.

We talked, ate, talked and just got to know each other more. Though my contacts were drying out and I literally had a hard time trying to keep them moist. On top of that, my allergies were not that cute but I mean it could've been worse.

once we left marche I said I could walk him towards Queen at least so we can hang out somemore and we can catch our streetcars/subways from there to go home. but suddenly, one would think of it as a curse than a blessing, but for some reason I couldn't help but be happy that it started raining.

Rain is obviously not cute, but my attitude towards the rain has changed, mostly in part due to my new bright yellow umbrella. This umbrella signifies more than just the HIMYM reference, but that my personality and uniqueness and attitude should shine and be as bright even in stormy /rainy weather. That, and so many romantic associations can be made with an umbrella in the rain.

I suggested we just share the umbrella even thought he hated the rain. I sacrificed myside more just because of that but I didn't mind, I do honestly take up a lot more fat space. lol.

Instead of walking towards queen we decided King would be best to end our night. Though as romantic as I would've preferred, the homeless lady didn't help and kinda scared us a bit if she was to get hit by a car. But we went back to our romantic mood eventually and said our good byes.

Just when we were leaving we drew closer into each other's eyes and kissed under the umbrella as the rain poured down. Though I didn't feel the rain as much, its almost like the rain stopped for that brief moment as our lips softly met. Each kiss was sweet and sincere, I didn't want that to end.

I walked him down the stairs into the subway so he wouldn't get wet, kissed each other good night. and that's when my streetcar conveniently arrived.

I got home, only to receive a message from him saying he got home too. For once, I didn't have to send the first text back! YAY!

I'm honestly a bit smitten but I cant help it. I love and loathe this feeling. I don't wanna get my hopes up but should I just enjoy this moment while it lasts?

I want to say hi and text and talk every day, but what's the procedures like now? Wouldn't he be the one who wants to text too? I want to take this as slow and steady as possible. I think it could be something great. How do I not jump the gun on this one?

Either way, I haven't had a feeling like this in a while, and I like it. I miss it.