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unseenacademic · 1 month

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20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by my dear, talented friend @mihrsuri Thanks, friend! 💜💜💜💜 1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 13 at the moment 😅

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 28,823

3. What fandoms do you write for? The West Wing.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? The First Lady - my ongoing fic where I answer the most important question in the world: what was Abbey Bartlet doing during the episodes she didn't appear in?

Josh and the Jackass - what happened right before Governor Bartlet decided to follow Josh to the airport in In the Shadow of Two Gunmen.

Breathe - a post-ep for Dead Irish Writers. Her birthday party is over, and Abbey Bartlet must face the New Hampshire Medical Board.

A Bit Desperate - part three of a series of three-sentence fics about Abbey and Jed in the aftermath of Zoey's kidnapping.

Anything Else I Need to Know - Five times the staff of Bartlet for America interrupted a barbecuing session and one time CJ interrupted a different kind of session. Takes place during the First Bartlet Campaign.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, I do. I do my best to respond to every comment I get, as fast as I can. It's a two-way street, we, as fic authors, often complain (and rightly so) about the lack of feedback, the lack of comments and kudos, but we don't respond to comments. As a reader, I am more likely to comment on a fic from an author who's replied to my comments earlier. But I guess I get so few comments that I can easily respond to all of them 🤷‍♀️ and since there are like 7 people who care about what I write, the least I can do is respond to their very kind comments 💜💜

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I guess it's Anything Else I Need to Know. The ending isn't too angsty by itself, but if you put it into context and you know the overarching plot of first few seasons of TWW, it's definitely angsty. Honorable mentions: With Pomp and Parade & And the Silence Haunts our Bedchamber - they both deal with the aftermath of Zoey's kidnapping.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? White Christmas. And Something for Us to Remember too also qualifies. You have to read them to know why 😊😉

8. Do you get hate on fics? Luckily, I'm not popular or interesting enough for that 😅

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes! Oh, all kinds! The worst thing I've ever written came before I started my fanfic writing career (I used to be involved in forum RP, I'm less active there now) and... nope, I'm not going to write about it here. Too cursed. 🙈🙈 If you want to see some sane smut I've written, check out Game On, Boyfriend! I hope I'll write another barbecuing fic soon, so stay tuned.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I don't. But I'd love to see a TWW/NCIS crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but if anyone's interested, go ahead.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, I haven't. The closest thing to co-writing fics was RP-ing which is sort of similar, but not really lol. It might be fun, so if anyone's interested in writing with me, let me know.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? Abbey/Jed! There are many ships I love, but I have to go with my horny nerds.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? There was a WIP I started last year, the first fic I posted, but I ended up deleting it, so it's not very likely that I'll ever finish it.

16. What are your writing strengths? I'm really, really good at research lol! If I'm writing a fic set in the 1960s, I'll make sure that they're eating food, wearing clothes, listening to music etc. that was popular in that period. You won't catch any of my characters wearing historically inaccurate shoes. I'm also really good at digging up random canon details and writing thousands of words around them.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plot lmao. I write fics about nothing, it's just banter and nerdiness, with the characters and/or the author showing off 🤣🤣

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Hmmm... I don't know, don't think I've ever needed to do it, but I guess it depends on what I want to achieve, I might write it in English and add a dialogue tag like "she said in French" or something.

19. First fandom you wrote for? The first fandom I published a fic for was The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, but the first fandom I wrote for was Harry Potter.

20. Favorite fic you've written? Can't choose only one, so have a few of them:

Breathe: Once again, Abbey is reminded how cruel the world can be towards women.

No one asked Jed what he was wearing when he took the censure.

Anything Else I Need to Know: Josh finally opens the door to his room and slumps on his unmade bed.

Next time, he’s going to pay attention. He’s going to pay attention to Mrs. Landingham’s notes on the Governor's schedule. And he’s going to pay attention to Mrs. Landingham’s instructions, so he’ll know what her notes on the Governor’s schedule actually mean. Next time, he’s going to pay attention.

Had Josh been paying attention, he would’ve noticed when the Governor dashed across the hall and up the stairs right after lunch. Had he been paying attention, he would’ve noticed Leo’s smirk that followed the Governor’s departure. Had he been paying attention, perhaps he would’ve noticed the soft, rhythmic squeaking of the bed and muffled gasps and groans coming from the Bartlets’ suite right before he opened the door.

Well, too bad that Josh wasn’t paying attention.

And Something for Us to Remember too: “I take it your conversation with Doug didn’t go well?”

“I spoke slowly and I didn’t use big words, but I couldn’t talk him out of marrying Liz. Maybe I should’ve taken him on a hike. A six-hour hike through Vermont wilderness in the dead of winter would’ve changed his mind.”

“It wasn’t a six-hour anything! I was there, Jed, you were only gone for two hours.”

“You weren’t there, Abigail, you were baking with your mother, while I was fighting for dear life, braving the cold and wolves and bears.” He sighs and adds, “Guess it’s too late to take Doug hiking now and leave him for the bears.”

White Christmas: “’She – New Hampshire – is one of the two best states in the Union. Vermont’s the other’, said Robert Frost, your favorite poet, who also happened to be the poet laureate of Vermont.” Abbey made a dramatic pause and gave Jed a pointed look.

“She’s one of the two best states in the Union. Vermont’s the other.” She continued her performance. “And the two… the two lie like wedges, thick end to thin end and thin end to thick end.”

Jed chuckled.

“Sweet Knees, we’ll lie like wedges, thick end to thin end and thin end to thick end any time you want,” he leered at her, “on our bed, in front of the fireplace, on the kitchen table…” his smirk grew when Abbey’s lips curved into a little smile and her cheeks flushed, “but Robert Frost named his poetry collection New Hampshire, not Vermont.”

“Well, I’m going to write the words ‘Freedom and Unity’ on the pie and you’re going to eat them!”

The First Lady: “Mrs. Landingham withholds food from me,” he complained.

“Because I asked her to.”

“Yeah, cause you don’t want me eating real food like steaks or hamburgers. She won’t let me have a banana.”

“I’m sure you did something to piss her off.” Abbey shrugged.

“Do you two enjoy torturing me?”

“Yes,” she said innocently.

Tagging (no pressure!): @claudiajcregg @onekisstotakewithme @hondagirll @miabicicletta @librarianmouse @holy-ships-x-red-lips

💜💜💜💜💜💜

#20 questions for fic writers #my fic #the west wing #abbey bartlet #mrs doctor abbey first lady doctor #abbey x jed

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cboffshore · 4 months

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So what direction is OSSAS going in with the next installment, now that we've seen Nya power struggle with Nadakhan via seagulls and chess? 👀

I'm going to answer this one under the cut just in case someone who sees this hasn't read it yet (in which case: GO! that is a prerequisite for this course! get outta here! and leave me comments, dammit!), but I know that doesn't include you. You've been enrolled in the honors course.

The big thing right now is that plans are super fluid. I'm in the very loose brainstorm stage, which means I wake up at 3 am, jot something bizarre down in my ideas server, and then interpret in the morning and hope it works. Everything I'm about to say is subject to change, but with that being said, here's what #5 looks like now.

Timeline: We're jumping straight to episode 64, post-wedding. This is one of the few things that are pretty much non-negotiable. We know the buildup, the sword handoff, Nya's manipulation - I don't need to rehash that. Dan and Kevin did that for us. Instead, I've got the mother of all blank spaces to fill once Delara takes up residence in Nya's body.

Remember that line in IICT(OSC) where Nadakhan tells Nya he thinks that her being unconscious for the rest of her life would probably be preferable to having to endure his presence? Whether or not making sure she's comfortable is a genuine desire of his (spoiler: it's not. the possession is just him shoving her to the back of the storage closet so he doesn't have to deal with her shit. who'da thunk it?"), he's going to fuck it up, bad. This is partially because I've determined and highlighted that he is shit at checking his own work (source: the fact that anyone remembers Skybound at all, especially the floating temple! and I know there's that line in the ceremony, but that never happened, so, like... HUH????) and partially because, if I made it actually work as intended, #5 would just be like those Twilight chapters where Meyer represents a bunch of months with blank pages. (I've never read Twilight, but I've heard great things about that technique. It's not something I can get away with.) In other words: boring. I've always believed strongly in the importance of the Idiot Ball in any story, and this is no exception. Nadakhan once again has plenty of hands free to catch it.

Which, of course, means Nya's gotta be conscious for this, and as is par for the OSSAS course, pissed. Nadakhan's actually right that being unconscious would be an upgrade in this case (too obtuse to realize that and realize what a self-dig that is, yeesh). So: we've got a pissed off soul bouncing around while Delara takes her body for a test drive. That's a workable setting. What are we going to do with that?

WE ARE NOT going to insinuate any spicy activity between Delara and Nadakhan. This is also non-negotiable. I've seen that a handful of times in fics that bother to even acknowledge what's going on with Nya (and I can count those on, like, two fingers), and it's big-time DISGUSTANG. I don't think one can both rail against Nadakhan being a creep and then endorse those versions of the story... I'll move on before my ears start shooting out steam.

First off: you know my stance on SA in Skybound stuff. I'm sure as hell not writing it. Second, I genuinely don't think that's on Nadakhan's mind, and to act like it is cheapens his character. For my sake and his, I'm trying to work from the interpretation that he is both of the following:

This specific tattoo - that is, too enamored with the fact that holy shit he pulled it off to do anything but marvel while that goofy love theme from The LEGO Movie plays and everyone's hair does the slow-mo romantic swivel:

2. Too tied up in his own self-doubt to really give a shit about that. The single most frustrating and interesting sequence in the finale to me is the part where he badgers Delara about if she forgives and/or still loves him for what he's done. He can barely believe she's here, let alone that she forgives him! I'm not a fan of the idea that he can balance that shock and disbelief with Enthusiastic Adult Activities. I'm also hoping to keep going with that brief angle I mentioned where Nadakhan's got two names for that face now, and I don't think that could reconcile very well. Nope, sorry, dude! Pathetic Wet Chihuahua time for you. Nonexistent pants stay on. Nobody needs to see your legs.

Nya's had enough shit happen to her - even by my relatively clean standards! I'm not doing that. Also, I don't know how much I want to rehash the death scene, although maybe I'll change my mind and continue the trend of building on the glimpses from Small Cuts.

Here are some options for what I might do (again, all subject to change, just some general ideas I've tossed around):

Let Nya witness not quite the beginning of the possession. Wakes up five minutes in, realizes what's happening... major introspection opportunity, really. And you know I love introspection.

Have Nya give Delara a migraine just because. Like, an actual migraine, or maybe just a nasty thunderclap headache. If Nya can't operate her body solo, nobody can. This could also be her causing other types of chaos - maybe she tightens Delara's grip on Nadakhan's hook and he flinches. Because of the chess aftermath, of course. Or some such chaos - little tweaks, like she's reaching in from the backseat and futzing with the radio and the AC and the hand brake.

Pull Nya's soul out of her body entirely and just let her wander around and witness different parts of the finale. Maybe she's on the deck when Flintlocke gets his aim back. Maybe she's the reason that loose locker with the venom in it turns up - maybe she drags it out after Clancee stashes it to help the team find it faster. Maybe the only reason Jay manages to pick her up is because Nya bum-rushes Delara, shoves her out of the driver's seat, and then stops in her tracks just long enough to let Jay yeet her across the lawn. (Remember: the scream sound effect they use in that scene is Nya's!)

But who's to say, really?

Thanks for the ask!

#lila speaks #ossas tag #abc tag

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terribleweh · 1 year

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Indie KING CLAWTHORNE from The Owl House! NOT SPOILER FREE.

Please read the rules under the cut before interacting!

[ added 11 june: REALLY emphasising the slow activity! ]

ASK PROMPTS -> [ Always accepting + open to non-mutuals, unless stated otherwise in the tags! Go wild. ]

ABOUT KING -> [ WIP, so just a wiki link for now 😔 ]

MUN.

You can call me Forest, and I'm 20! I find it amazingly difficult to talk to people and keep a conversation going, so if we happen to speak ooc... I promise it's nothing against you! My social skills are just something else lol, but please let me know if I have said or done anything that upsets you - it'll never be my intention.

I am also perpetually in slow activity mode. My motivation and muse are very fickle, amongst other things in my life that might keep me from being here. This means threads/asks may be dropped over time (unintentionally or due to lack of muse), but you're welcome to ask me about it!

INTERACTING.

For the time being, I am not mutual exclusive; so anyone is welcome to send asks, unprompted or through memes (unless specified in the tags)! Starter calls will be kept mutuals only for my own sanity.

Asks and prompts are the best way to interact with me. Plotting isn't a strength of mine, unfortunately - but I'll likely be up for most things!

With replies, I try to do it oldest to newest, but I am so slow that it doesn't always work out. I also won't reply to every ask I get - this is always due to muse, whether I have inspiration or not... but please don't be discouraged from sending more! You can send as many as you like - the more the merrier, it gives me variety and options to choose from. -> Sometimes I will practise this when sending memes, just know that I'm never expecting you to answer all of them! If receiving multiple asks bothers you, feel free to let me know and I will keep that in mind :)

FOLLOWING.

Two of the main reasons I might not follow back: I'm unfamiliar with your fandom, or I'm not sure how our muses would interact. I prefer to stick to fandoms I know for that reason, but if you have an idea you're welcome to jump in my ask! A secret third reason: I didn't realise/forgot to check.

I guarantee I always read rules before following, if you have one available. I try to send passwords, but it does make me a bit uncomfortable so there might be occasions where I don't - but again, they will have been read! -> I do follow quite a lot of people, so I'm bound to forget rules sometimes. Please give me a little nudge if I break one of yours!

OTHER.

I have a tendency to write King's dialogue in uppercase - not because he's shouting all the time (though he is definitely a loud boy), but because it helps me find his voice better. However, if you'd prefer me to write his dialogue normally because it's difficult to read, let me know and I'll drop it in our interactions!

Credit to @/bugresources for my icons!!

Will be updated as needed, but if there's anything you're unsure about feel free to ask :]

#new pinned because my old one was made with the old editor and i wanted coloured text :)#cleaned up a bit but nothing has actually changed so. if you've read them before you're good #tags for navigation:#ooc #ic #prompts #king

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blessedshortcake · 2 years

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Introduction

Hey I finally made one of these.

My name is Cupcake!

I am 20 and go by all pronouns including it/its and neos! I write, you can check out my works under the #my writing tag!

Check out my AUs masterlist!

Art progress blog: @cupcake-draws

Learn more about me under the cut!

I am 20. People under 13 do not follow me and people under 16 be mindful when interacting. If I interact first then you're alright.

You can use any and all pronouns for me including it/its and neos! I am unlabeled for now when it comes to gender identity but I'll edit this if it changes. I am on the aroace spectrum but love is confusing so I usually just say I'm omni. Both gender and romance are confusing tbh

I am white. I live in Europe, Hungary which means my English can be a little whack so feel free to correct my mistakes. I speak Hungarian (duh) and English but I've been learning Spanish and Romanian for a while now.

I am neurodivergent and I have a handful of symptoms I am still making sense of in therapy. I have OSDD and I don't mind talking about it here but there will be things I may not answer if asked. I accept some questions about my general mental health too but I might not answer them all.

I do use tone tags every so often and even tho I likely won't ask you to use them, it would be appreciated if you did.

I am a writer. I mainly post fanfiction but I have original stories I haven't really showed anyone yet. Maybe someday.

You can find me on AO3, but I am the most active here if you want to interact.

My main tags are

#my writing - for the stuff I write

#caupcakes - things about my AUs

#cake save tag - for stuff I find interesting or useful for later. Writing advice, life advice or just good work from people

#cake updates - fanfic updates, life updates, any kinda updates I have about stuff comes here

#cake rambles - me talking a lot about stuff

#cake rants - stuff that made me upset (you can filter this if you're just here for my writing)

#cake after midnight - stupid stuff. makes no sense. we are balling. time is a concept made up by the governent

My fandoms

Cookie Run (kingdom and ovenbreak but I am a bit more into kingdom)

Arcane

Five Nights at Freddies

Sonic

Undertale & Deltarune

Batman (more so Batfam but shrug)

& many others but those are my main fandoms right now.

Boundaries

Spam interactions are welcome and very much appreciated.

Reblogs > Comments > Likes

My DMs are open but I might take a bit to answer! I do love chatting and interacting with people tho so feel free to drop by.

My Asks and Submissions are also open! You can ask me about my fandoms, headcanons, wips or even slightly personal stuff if you'd like to get to know me.

DNI

Racists/Homophobes/Abelists/Bigots in general. Just the basic DNI criteria of Don't Be An Asshole.

Pedos/MAPS/NOMAPS/PEAR or whatever you call yourself. Get out of my blog and my life. This includes Frans Undertale fans. If you ship Frans please leave! Thanks!

Proship/Anti anti or again whatever you call yourself. You are not welcome here.

Incest supporters fictional or not. This includes Fontcest Undertale fans.

Pro ed/pro ana/thinspo/fatspo just leave. Get help go to therapy.

People who harass others about their religion, fandoms or ships. I don't care what you believe in, what fandom/media you enjoy or who you ship (as long as its. legal.) just be chill about it. Don't harrass others for what they like/dislike (again, as long as it's not them supporting proship).

NFT bros/NFT supporters please just leave. You have been told 1000 times why its bad I won't be the one to explain 1001 times. This includes people who support Devsisters for their shit. You can critically engage with the fandom but don't defend Devsis.

I am not an all seeing entity so if you notice that I am engaging with somebody who has been exposed as a shitty person (anything from my DNI) then please tell me. I don't do a deep cleaning research on everyone's blogs who I come across but I'd like to know if it happens!

#intro post #cake updates #i dont have much to tag #long post #maybe #introductory post

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solarsavoy · 2 years

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16, 17 and 18 for the asks plss! :3

Ask links on pinned post.

Thank you for asking, Bismuth! ^^

16) Do you have a method for getting characters to sound/feel in character?

Nothing in particular. It helps if I reread some previous stuff in that same POV, but in the case that I don't have that yet, I just wait for the muse to hit me with something. I know that might not sound all too amazing or anything. All I can say is that when I write, it's like my mind transports over to their mind and I start seeing the story unfold through their eyes. I notice things they'd notice, even if I wouldn't have paid enough attention in my own shoes. In the case of Gakushuu with Magic Shuu, he has a much higher vocabulary than me and I'll often, very often, get to a point where I know there's a better word for something, but I don't myself know what it is, so I have to research it. Searching for synonyms is the most common thing I do when writing Magic Shuu. I wish I had some better, easier to practice and apply answer, but I don't. Just when I'm them, I write, and if I can't "tune into them", I can't.

Also, it has happened a lot with Nagisa and Karma initially that I accidentally tune into Deshi or Stag respectively. Usually I'm able to catch it, but it's another one of the many reasons that I worry if I've portrayed the character correctly. What I'm really asking is "I didn't accidentally tune into Deshi instead of Nagisa, did I?"

17) Do you have any wips that you can tell us about? What are you most excited for in you wip?

There's two actually, and I'm excited for them because they relate to my original story Krystar. First, there's a crossover between Krystar and Angel Beats meant to take place between the Fragment series and the Echo series. Then, there's another crossover between Krystar and Noragami, set to take place during my final book (number 12) which takes place after book 5 of the Echo series (book 11 overall). Let's just say it ties the stories together quite nicely and only active readers of both my original story and fanfiction will be able to appreciate the connections. There's technically a call out in the Krystar/Noragami story in the final book Reign of Mynt, but I have a "variable" that explains it away without anyone being the wiser. Except my fanfic readers. 😏

18) What's the most obscure thing you've researched for a fic?

That's a really hard one. I've done a lot of research on a lot of strange things, but I can't remember the obscure ones, so instead, here are all the strange ones I remember.

Students of Despair: exactly how long it takes for a body to decompose as well as how to obscure the time of death.

Krystar: how long it takes for a pool of blood to dry given certain conditions, and what happens while it does.

Krystar: how jeans were made. This is why they don't exist on Thera. Jeans were made because some dude got sick of his pants tearing so quickly and easily because buying more clothes at the time was inconvenient and you could only mend the same spots over and over again so many times. Like the potato chip (except thicker instead of thinner), it was actually an act of defiance to use double or triple the amount of fabric than normal and they ended up being sturdier that way. That's why they were originally the "worker's pants" and a lot of laborers still wear them now. (Ex: carpenters, mechanics, construction workers, etc.)

Kristmas Karma: the weather and how common/uncommon it is to snow in Japan. You'd be surprised at how little you know about another place's weather until you check.

Life in Retail: shelf life of sushi. It's 2-3 days by the way. And yes, I didn't know, because like a lot of people where I'm from, more than 6 hours is questionable. 🤔

Phoenix: how hard it is to DIY a wig/doll hair out of real hair. And it's hard. Major props to Akari. 👏

Misfortune: how long it takes for the money to grow in an investment and how the government would be able to cease control of it if the person died. I just needed to make sure it was possible.

And that's all I can think of for now. 😊 Thanks again for the ask! Have a great day everyone!

#solarsavoyasks #writing

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book-o-scams · 3 years

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'Sorry Wrong Ed' Alternate Ending Storyboard Sequence

Check out Al Kang's Ed, Edd n Eddy portfolio!

Al Kang worked on the show during seasons 3-4 and had roles on the storyboard and prop teams apparently. (IMDb says he was credited as Al Choi at the time, but it also says he worked on season 1 episodes, which doesn't line up with the timeline he mentioned.. anyway.)

I discovered his portfolio a few months ago after seeing fandom discussion of the alternate 'Sorry Wrong Ed' ending. I was pleasantly surprised to find a few other treats as well! But yes, I even sorta liked what I learned about 'Sorry Wrong Ed' in the process... (I threw in a little analysis comparing the two endings at the bottom)

I noticed Al seemed to mix up the order on these, so I thought I'd try my best to figure out the right order. This was the most confusing one for me to try and figure out the order of since almost all 8 pages were out of order. I think I finally figured out what's going on in the original ending.

So this alternate ending starts at an unknown point with Eddy flat on the ground, presumably injured, picking himself back up. At this point in the final cut of the episode, Eddy has just been squashed by a tree, but this seems more like a different injury, and he's not even retaining his injuries from the truck scene... The scenes with Jonny and Plank from the final cut of the episode seem to not exist at all here, Jonny and Plank don't appear in this sequence.

Anyway, Eddy picks himself up in the middle of an on-going scene, sees Jimmy drop a coin in a jar for Ed, who has inexplicably turned the cursed phone into a scam on his own. Edd is glaring at the off-screen kids, who have somehow learned about this phone and are excited to kill Eddy with it.

Eddy: "Jimmy! No!"

Jimmy answers the phone: "Hello?"

Ed: "HA HA HA"

Edd: "You people don't seriously believe--"

Then we sync up with gags that did happen in the ending of Sorry Wrong Ed, with context that makes its tone a little more sadistic than random. Jimmy's paid phonecall drops the sandbox on Eddy.

This page has the most skeletal dialogue...

Kev: "Yes." (I think he's meant to be fist pumping because Eddy got hurt, more of a "Yes!")

Jimmy: "BAD LUCK EDDY PHONE." (this dialogue must have been a placeholder)

Edd: "HA HA" (sarcastic ha-ha or did Al mean to write "Ed" for this?)

Jimmy seems to offer the phone to Edd.

We sync up again with Edd's denial from the final cut of this episode, except now it actually makes sense that he's so one-track-minded, because there are people actively arguing with him and keeping him disengaged from the victim.

Edd: "There must be a cargo plane overfilled with playground supplies..."

Sarah interrupts him.

RING RING

Sarah: "Oh, that's for me."

Eddy at this point holds Ed responsible, as he should, and starts running to stop Ed or Sarah. Ed offers no explanation for his betrayal.

Eddy: "Ed! What are you doing!?"

Sarah: "Hello?"

Sarah's paid phonecall summons the hippos, the most random moment in the final cut of the episode. Note how both of these slapstick gags were storyboarded on the same generic background, seems like the lane or an empty lot, but clearly a different location than Eddy's front yard from the aired ending.

And that's all we have to go off of!

I'll put my updated opinions below the cut, but suffice it to say, I like the episode a little better now! Knowing what the ending was going to be and trying to figure out the choices that led to the ending we got, I feel more appreciative that it didn't end up a lost episode or something and less annoyed that it was 11 minutes of one joke.

I know I have a reputation for not finding slapstick funny and disliking this episode, but violence was never my only issue. Lots of episodes have lackluster slapstick that I just let wash over me. My point that never gets as much focus is that this episode never felt FINISHED to begin with. It's just a slapstick vacuum with no ending and no point, and it used to be frustrating to me not knowing for sure if my hunch was right or not that it felt like the episode just wasn't working and they had to cobble it together from the scenes that almost worked.

I am surprised to say I like the episode more now that I know that is pretty close to the truth. Judging from this peek into the episode's development, this episode seems to have reached Danny Antonucci's and/or Wootie's (the episode's lead board artist) limit for being mean-spirited with the characters without a reason. I'll still probably avoid rewatching it, but knowing the episode has no ending specifically because it's been trimmed to bare bones is somehow reassuring.

The most obvious flaw to this original ending is the lack of motivation for Ed's or the kids' actions. The kids presumably still weren't in the rest of the episode, so there's really no reason for them to be here other than reiterating the same idea from 'Your Ed Here' and 'The Good Ole Ed' that the neighborhood kids are always looking for a reason to gang up on Eddy, something that isn't really true of those characters in earlier seasons.

I think I can imagine how, on paper (in the writers' outline), this episode sounded funnier. Trying to imagine this ending as part of the whole episode, I think the script's idea of the final joke is that Ed is not satisfied with ending the tests at the point where they tried to return the phone to Rolf. I think Ed converts the curse-testing process to a scam at that point, building off of how Ed already wasn't processing Eddy's safety in anything so far, and is probably more focused on proving to Edd that curses are real (as Ed was previously in league with Evil Tim). The addition of Ed running his own tests and the kids arguing Eddy's point against Edd's while Eddy's busy, does sound more like a complete manic cartoon boiling point than the way the finished episode just petered out with Edd as the sole antagonist. But unfortunately, in visual execution, suddenly piling in so many aggressive characters and so much random violence at once, would only really result in it petering out at a higher volume.

Meanwhile Edd's characterization is made much more structurally sound in the original ending. He's annoyed FOR Eddy's sake, and the only reason he's not actively helping Eddy is because like 3 other characters were supposed to be arguing with him while this was happening. It seems extremely apparent to me that the cuts made to this ending were for the sake of mitigating Ed's reputation in the fandom, as well as the kids', and I think it's really unfortunate that Edd's characterization was the cost for salvaging everyone else's. I'm glad I already considered his behavior in 'Sorry Wrong Ed' non-canon, because now it feels like the reason the aired ending is so out-of-character is just because Edd is basically arguing with the ghost of the original scene. I formally forgive 'Sorry Wrong Ed'. Production turnarounds are tough and AKA did their best to not turn this into another forgotten 'Special Ed' episode that simply wasn't working.

I think ditching the original ending was ultimately the right call. It was not an exemplary episode, but I can admit it's less out of place to have a pure "vacuum of violence" story than it would've been to essentially give the kids a supernatural revenge plot like this. That would've been really weird to have to accept-- Eddy definitely wouldn't want to be friends with anyone at the end of the movie if THIS was their past. Changing it to an unaware Jonny and a questionably aware Plank being responsible, indeed, was a vibe that landed much more like standard EEnE fare. It was weird enough that the kids all saw Santa in JJJ, can you imagine if they all knew curses were real AND participated in attacking a neighbor with one??

If there was a silver lining for me the first time I saw this episode, it was that none of the kids were directly involved in Eddy's suffering. It made the questionable reality of the cursed device slightly more acceptable that only the Eds and Rolf know about the curse. If this ending had happened, I would've reacted the same, but I would've rejected its continuity even more than I do now, because it would just feel like they animated one of the DC Comics (where the kids can blow the Eds up with fireworks at the end or the Eds can randomly be crushed under an avalanche of anvils)-- the art could end up gorgeous but the characterizations don't exactly land as real human beings, the balance this show strives for typically.

And I think that's all I wanted to say! In the end, I found myself liking 'Sorry Wrong Ed' slightly more than I used to, all thanks to this glimpse into how the animation production system morphs the outcome of a cartoon. Thanks so much to Al Kang, for sharing your art and this insight into the industry! I don't know whether he did both the gesture drawings and the revised art, but judging from his other boards I think the cleaned up art is his, and I liked seeing the poses that almost were!

#ed edd n eddy #sorry wrong ed #al kang #storyboard #concept art #alternate ending #deleted ending #alternate sequence #analysis

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annonmaly · 3 years

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Spoilers Ahead!

Hi, fellow bored humans! Today is another day to set aside our real-life problems and overthink matters about fictional situations. Because why not? Mochijun-Sensei can make us do that. So, last time I made a post questioning Misha's knowledge of Vani's self-hypnotism. So before anything else, I want to thank you guys who took the time to read, liked, and replied to that post. It is fun to read ideas that even I can not think about.

Grab a cup of coffee and be prepared for a long-ass non-sense.

I am calling human Vanitas = Vani, and Luna = Luna. The pronoun I use is "she" because I would not confuse myself. I know Luna said she is an enby so, do not fight me.

Today, I want to talk about Luna and her death. I know that we have too little information in our hands right now, but my brain cells can still assume something based on what we have. This thought came about with the premise that Luna is an Archiviste.

I can't think of anything that happened to them "that day", but I have a theory of why Vani killed Luna. To make things clear, I will summarize my assumptions and list them down. I made an explanation of each point. Supposedly, those would come first but I didn't expect it to be so long, that's why I decided to just put it at the end. You could ignore it if you want. Check it out if you are curious.

Luna is an Archiviste

Vani is protecting memory from his early childhood

Vani casts the hypnotism while/after he was training to be a chasseur but before Luna's death

Luna bit Vani the day she died

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Here is the idea: I think Vani killed Luna because she forced herself to drink Vani's blood for whatever reason and the self-hypnotism activated. Sound farfetched? Because it is, but I'll show you why I thought it this way.

This is my one and only proof. The eyes are almost the same, right? See, I told you I could make a long-ass post just from two panels. The left one is from the Bal-Masque arc before Vani made a scene. The right one is before Vani and Noe's death fight. I believe that Vani's hypnotism is triggered in both pictures. I actually hesitated if I should do this since Mochijun-Sensei really loves including similarities in the story. You see, Astolfo and Misha made the same eye. But all three of them have the same eyes the moment they thought about why they would kill a vampire.

Vani - to not allow anyone to steal his memory

Astolfo - because vampires shouldn't even exist

Misha - Noe didn't drink Vani's blood.

So yeah, whatever, I'll go ahead and write this one. Vani would be the main focus of this thing.

1. The way Vani's hallucination phrased this is interesting. We know Vani's father died protecting him. What about Luna? If Vani killed Luna intentionally or because of hate, she did not die "because" of Vani. Vani killed her. There's a difference between the two. Behind all that facade that Vani is showing, he's kind. He's not someone who could just kill anyone without any reason when he's in the right mind. Especially if that someone is the one who became his guardian and is helping him to find a cure to make his body normal. Initially, I thought that Luna had gone wild and reach the point of no return. That's why Vani had no other choice. Though if this is the reason, Luna still did not die because of Vani. Now, this phrase would only be right if Luna died protecting Vani or if something happened to Vani. How could this happen if she was killed by the one she's protecting. So, what if, instead of Luna going wild, Vani is the one breaking down. Thus, Luna had really no choice but to make Vani her kin. If she's an archiviste and Vani already casted the hypnotism. It would be triggered and so he had no choice but to kill Luna.

"You give yourself someone to protect that's why you're weak." -Vani to Jeanne

If Luna didn't save Vani and Misha, she might still be alive. If she chose to abandon or kill Vani (when Vani loses his mind), she might still be alive. But Luna chose to save him by making him her kin. She handicapped herself by choosing to protect Vani and she died by doing so.

2. Maybe Luna doesn't want to use this method because it involves blood drinking to leave her mark. If she's an Archiviste, perhaps her reason is the same as Noe does not drink blood "She doesn't want to look at anyone's memory without permission".

3.Vani was never an honest and straightforward guy. If there is someone/thing he wants to protect he wouldn't say it outright. Sometimes we would go full on beast mode, just to hide his real agenda. It already happened a lot (reread the manga for examples). So maybe the reason he strongly disagrees is that he knows that once Luna tries to bit her he would lose his mind and try to kill her.

4. This is just so heartbreaking. Look at how he cried. I think this is not a cry of relief. Vani is crying out of frustration. It's not because he wanted to kill Noe. For me, it's like Vani is saying "I killed Luna, why can't I kill now." I mean, he realized that this ordeal could be solved without killing the other party. But why didn't it happened before?

This is just a half baked theory so of course there are still things that could negate these panels:

If Luna is talking with Vani here, she makes him her kin even before dying. Since everything is so calm. Though I would ignore reality and think that Luna is talking with Misha here. I think that Misha became her kin first since he is breaking down first.

The flashback of Misha shouting at Vani, maybe this is just hallucinations. But if this is true, it means that they spent some time together after Luna's death. And yeah, all of this would be meaningless.

Explanation of each point

1. Luna is an Archiviste. The theory is already out there, so I wouldn't explain it anymore.

2. Vani is protecting memory from his early childhood & 3. Vani casts the hypnotism while/after he was training to be a chasseur but before Luna's death. Going back to my previous post, I mentioned that it is strange for Misha to know that Vani hypnotized himself if Luna is the one who begged Vani to not let anyone take his memory on her deathbed because:

a. The timeline doesn't coincide. The chance that Misha and Vani separated "that day" which is I believe the same day as Luna's death is high. So, there's no way Misha could know.

b. Misha forgot what happened "that day". However, it's not like Vani doesn't want Misha to remember. I don't know but I feel like everything would be civil if Misha didn't mention that he wants to revive Luna. That is the moment everything went a wrong turn.

It is likely that Luna already asked Vani days before "that day" and her death. The problem is if the three are together "why did she only ask Vani and not Misha?". Maybe, Luna and Vani have a shady secret that they don't share with Misha as he's too young. However, if the secret has something to do with Luna, Vani won't even mention something relating to it to Misha, I mean the kid knows exactly the trigger of self-hypnotism. Maybe Luna is not the one who asked Vani. I believe that someone already asked Vani before he entered the church to train as a chasseur. But "who" asked Vani is not my problem today it is "when".

So in short, I suppose that the memory Vani is protecting is something that only he knows at the moment, and it did not happen recently but goes way back in his early childhood. As retracexcviii pointed out, it looks like that the self-hypnotism technique Vani used is the same as what the chasseurs. So, Vani knows this technique way back before he became a lab rat.

Continuing on...

Don't judge but I wasted a considerable amount of time digging information about Vani's childhood (yup, I don't have a life outside). And I found nothing concrete that could help, however, as I said, I could make something out of what we have. So here we go.

In Vani's delirium due to high fever he finally opens up and we had a peak of his life before everything. There's nothing much here, just a simple story, but let's overanalyze this:

a. In the era they’re living in, vampires are not allowed to attack humans. People are even treating them as folklore or old people's tall tales. Thus, random vampire attacks are seldom. The attacks that we heard are from the cursed ones (e.g., Amelia and Thomas) or harboring resentment (I think this is why the vampires attacked Astolfo’s family). Well, the attack on Vani and co. may be a special case. Vani mentioned that chasseurs are hunting "dangerous" types of vampires that are rampaging in the human world. So, there may be a miscreant group of vampires somewhere that hates peace or being suppressed by humans. Right, Misha's mother was also killed by a vampire.

b. When Misha asked what's a band of traveling players then Luna answered that it's a bit like a circus. Vani answered that "It was nothing like...that formal". He hesitated for a moment, meaning, he wanted to say something different first, but he changed his mind. Or maybe he just can't find the right word. I know that someone already mentioned this, but did you know that according to Wikipedia "Charlatan is a seller of medicines who might advertise his presence with music and an outdoor stage show." Now that's another thing to add to Vani and Naenia's parallel.

c. Vani thinks that his father doesn't like it there very much. So, why stay even if his wife is dead? Even if Vani's father could not go back to his family, he could still opt to cut ties with the band and settle down somewhere. He's a doctor, it's not like they would be helpless if they leave. Travelling is not a safe choice if you think about it. Perhaps, he stayed in the memory of his wife? Or are there other reasons?

d. This guy didn't just come to Altus ones before. "No matter when I visit" he already visited during different periods. The times he possibly could go in Altus is before his father's death and after Luna's death. Maybe Luna's going in secretly for whatever reason. I just want to drop it here because it's interesting to take note of.

e. I'm not sure if I should include this since it may be Luna's influence, but Vani knows way too much about vampires and also the babel incident. Also, Ruthven's statement just gives me a weird feeling. Does it mean "You an average human are running around doing ridiculous things, so tell me about 'yourself', kin of the blue moon vampire"? Or "without the context of being the kin of the blue moon vampire, tell about yourself?" I think it is the latter meaning.

There's nothing important here that proves Vani's childhood should be kept as a secret. But this will do for now, I just want to establish that Vani is more than just kin to the Blue Moon Vampire. His childhood, his father, family, and that traveling players are also suspicious. (Why the hell do I find everyone in this series suspicious?!? oh, except Amelia and Riche).

4. Luna bit Vani the day she died. I can't come up with anything that happened "that day". Did Luna has gone wild? Did someone attack them? Did Vani and Misha lose their mind as an effect of that weird doctor's experiment? There's really nothing but I think that whatever happened "that day" led to Luna's leaving no choice but to drink Vani's blood, or to make Vani her kin. There has no explicit explanation of how you make one your kin, but I'm sure drinking blood is included in the process. They would only gain a mark if they were bitten.

I'm actually not done yet. I still have plenty to say, but this should end here now. This is already too long for me to handle. Does this make sense? Or is it confusing? Don't hesitate to correct me if I'm wrong or tell me whatever you want to say.

So, if what Vani is saying is true, why do you think he killed Luna?

See ya' later folks!

Note: I wrote this to indulge my over-thinking self. This is just a random theory, thoughts, assumptions, and/or head-canons. Thank you for taking the time to read and understanding if I made any mistakes or post whatever it is you don’t agree on.

#thoughts about vnc panels

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adoringeun · 4 years

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Lemon Drop Café

Welcome to the Lemon Drop Café! My name is Eunha, I'm the owner of this place. It's a blessing to have you visit my café, what would you like to order?

Inside the Lemon Drop Café

In this café we offer a variety of different food and drinks! Don't be fooled by the name of the shop, we sell all kinds of food and beverages here. We even have a special delivery service for everyone!

T H E B A S I C S

-> This is in no way affiliated with the Idol I potray to be. I am not claiming to be her nor do I say this is how she acts in real life. Everything here is purely fictional and is all for your entertainment only!

-> As of now, the café is only open for chatbots and chatbots only.

-> This is mostly a delivery service chatbot meaning there will be no plots introduced, yet!

-> A schedule is included in this post that says the days I accept reservations, delivery requests, and answer asks.

-> Daily positivity posts and health reminders will be posted!

-> I will sometimes pop in people's dms to drop of treats from me! I'll try my best to send everyone at least one treat so you all will hopefully get a smile out of it ^-^

-> A bulletin board will be posted every once in a while. What is this for? Well, it will act as a chatbot news for everyone. For example, person #1 and person #2 are now engaged! Let us congratulate the soon to be married couple. If you have any new information or news to share, feel free to message me and I will post about it!

-> This bulletin board will also act as a spread of awareness to everyone. Not only to Korean entertainment related news, but to the many things that are happening around the globe. (example is BLM petitions and such)

R E S E R V A T I O N S

-> Reservations are basically you reserving for a table at the café. This is a perfect way to have a nice date with your partner, hang out with your friends and bond with your family!

-> If you don't have anyone to go with, you can still reserve a table! Only difference is, I will be there to keep you company as I serve you your food or drinks. I can even maybe teach you the ways of the kitchen, if you're lucky enough.

-> Once your reservation has been accepted, a GC will be made and you along with the person/s you are bringing will be invited.

-> Be patient with Eunha as she can get very busy making orders and accepting reservations.

-> More details will be said once you have been invited to the GC.

HOW TO RESERVE A TABLE

-> You can send me a message (or an ask if that's what you prefer) saying you would like to book a table, please include how many people you will be coming with.

Example:

“Hello! I would like to reserve a table for 3 people thank you 😊❤”

-> Shortly after your request has been accepted, you will be made a GC.

-> A menu listing all the available food and beverages we have will be given to you (and the people you are with)

-> Do tell me when you are finished eating so I can hand you your bill and delete the GC.

D E L I V E R I E S

-> For deliveries, we have a lot of methods for you to choose from!

— Asks [💭]

> The ask delivery can only be used as a letter service. Meaning, I will send an ask to the person whom you want to send a letter to. You don't have to write a long paragraph for this. It can simply be a short “Good Morning!” or “How is your day today?”

— Submissions [💌]

> Submission deliveries are like asks but gifts included in them. Example is person #1 saying “Have a good day!” to person #2 with a lemon pie and a bouquet of sunflowers as a gift.

— DMs [📩]

> This is pretty much self explanatory as a lot of other bots have done this as well. I call this Private Deliveries. Private deliveries are like submission deliveries but are sent through dms. [TW//NSFW] This is the most recommended option if you were to send lingerie for your s/o, give them a new toy, etc.

— Post [📌]

> Deliveries through posts are the most common way to send someone something. It's more like the DM method but it's public. No further explanations needed.

-> We don't only offer food as gifts, you can pretty much send anyone anything! Just make sure it's not as complicated as; A caramel macchiato, three pumps of pumpkin spice, slight whip cream, a chocolate drizzle, and a cherry on top. Don't be those type of people.

HOW TO REQUEST FOR A DELIVERY

-> Send me an ask or a message that includes the listed below.

1.) The @ of the person/s you are giving the gift to.

2.) Whether you would want to be tagged or want to stay anonymous.

3.) Send the letter/gifts you want to give to that said person/s. If you don't have any pictures or gifs of the gift, it's okay! I will look for the pictures/gifs for you.

-> Before I send something, I will send screenshots of the post for confirmation that everything is correct.

-> Please do be patient when I don't complete your delivery as soon as possible. Admin is very busy but will be sure to go on with your request one she is free.

A D V I C E

-> Do you need ever need advice but don't know who uou should ask? Lucky for you, I'm here to give that needed advice! It can differ from life tips, health tips, relationship talks, pretty much anything!

-> All you have to do is send an ask or a message and i'll give the best advice I can give!

-> !!! : I am not saying that the advice I will give will 100% work. I will try and understand your situation and give you the best I can give. Please note that there is no guarantee that it'll work.

A D V I C E —S L I D E T W O—

-> This is for all the love birds out there!!

-> If you have a certain person that you like and want to ask them out on a date but have no idea where to go, I can give you some possible locations that will fit both you and person #2

-> Following what was said above, if you're going on a date and plan on confessing there, you can also ask me for tips on how you can confess!

-> For the long term couples here, if any one of you plan on proposing, I can help you set up and plan things.

-> If you're planning a wedding but don't know where to start, you can also hire me as your wedding planner! Since most weddings are held in discord now, I can help with setting up the server, thinking of themes, and overall the aesthetic of your special day.

-> I will make sure all parties are satisfied with the final product and have smiles on their faces once they see it.

-> All in all, I pretty much help with anything. Heck, you can even hire me as your babysitter! I'll make sure the child/children will have the time of their lives with me ^-^

-> All you have to do is hit me up in my dms or send an ask! Simple as that.

B U L L E T I N B O A R D

-> The bulletin board is one of the most important things I have included here.

-> It will include not only the latest chatbot news and K entertainment news but also news outside of the K-media!

-> I will post about the many things that have been happening recently. Those who have not been given justice yet, the brutality of the police, etc! There are a lot of topics that need to be covered, but not have been given enough light yet. My main goal for this is to bring peoples' attention to these so more people will be aware of the wrong doings others are doing to innocent lives.

-> As I respect everyone, I will be putting trigger warnings whenever I post so people will proceed with caution when they see the warnings.

-> If you don't want to be tagged, please do let me know! I don't want to post a sensitive topic and have some people frowning in front of their screens because of it triggering them. Send me an ask or a message and i'll take you off my taglist ^-^

-> Same goes for those who want to be tagged. Send me an ask or message anytime you like! Or even just reblog my post saying you want to be tagged in future posts :)

GOT ANY NEWS YOU WANT TO SHARE?

-> Send me a dm/an ask! From chatbot related news to petitions people can sign, anything you want! You can even send a submission if that is what you prefer doing.

E U N ' S S C H E D U L E

M O N D A Y : [Answering Asks, taking reservations, replying to dms, sending gifts]

T U E S D A Y : [Taking reservations, replying to dms]

W E D N E S D A Y : [ASK ONLY DAY!]

T H U R S D A Y : [Taking reservations, sending gifts]

F R I D A Y : [FREE DAY]

S A T U R D A Y : [ALL WORK DAY]

S U N D A Y : [ALL WORK DAY]

ALL WORK DAY – are days that I accept anything and everything from everyone. Meaning, everything is open and available (Reservations, advice giving, etc.)

FREE DAY – is a day where I only respond to important dms and reblog posts.

O T H E R I N F O

-> My asks aren't only open for requests and stuff, they are always open for anything!

-> I'm mostly active during the afternoon because I do work in the morning and at night.

-> Don't be afraid to message Eunha! She's always open and happy to make friends ^-^

-> My timezone is KST! (Korean Standard Time)

-> I will sometimes post “Inside Eun's Life” posts which are basically what and how I'm doing.

Credits to the person who made the idea of making chatbots, lots of love for you @yandereminholee!!

Special thanks to @your-roseanne and @floristluda for the inspiration!

Another special tag is @specialdeliveryforyou! Credits to them for starting the whole delivery service trend ^-^

And to @cherry-nayeon the OG café concept chatbot! All love and credits goes to her!!

Amazing people who you should also check out!

@mafia-minho @leextaeyong @5sosxseulgi @xiyeonnie @babyhj1sung @mafiajjh @mafiawyk @shinhaneul-oc @yoonhana @queenbeejessi @yourchungha @skaterchae @hunter-chaeyoung @og-aisha @sweetandsleepyjamie @fabricatedxkun @switchseola @seventeen-chatbot @mafia-chaeyoung @split-jiu @doll-hyunjin @wolfxhwasa @sub-chungha @chatwithchuu @bunjihyo @babieyuqi @domyeonjun @yvespunk @icyracer-chae @midari-jieun @peachyminju @yanderechenle @purgejaemin @spamnotes-cb @lovely-jisoo @amazingspiderhan @artsydahyun @xdomkangseulgixx @detectivexsicheng @yandere-lia @yanderetzuyu @time-for-confession @kittenjennie @urkai and more lovely people! ^-^

#Eunha #Jung Eunbi #gfriend chatbot #gfriend aesthetic #kpop chatbot #gfriend eunha #eunha aesthetic #chatbot #idol chatbot #kpop

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lezliefaithwade · 3 years

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A Breath of Fresh Air

The summer after my first year of theatre school, I was sleeping on the living room floor of my cousin's apartment in Toronto, trying to figure out what to do with my life. My cousin had been an actor before he became a quadriplegic in a car accident, and as I unadvisedly bemoaned my unemployment status, he said something like, "Seriously? You're complaining about your life? Don't make me burst a colostomy bag." He was right, of course. I wasn't in a wheelchair, though I did have a stepmother who had rendered me homeless because of her dislike for me. She was always saying things like, "Your hair can't be as ugly as that hat you're wearing." Or simply refusing to invite me to things like Christmas dinner. I always admired people with families. My boyfriend at the time was one of five kids who were always doing things together. Their house was always full of noise and activities. Even as a shiksa, I felt more at home there than with my stepbrothers and sisters, who never lost an opportunity to point out that I was weird. I wanted to stand up to them, but not wanting to cause my father any grief, I held my tongue and sought refuge elsewhere. It occurred to me that perhaps I was using the theatre as an opportunity to say things through characters that I couldn't find the courage to express myself.

The Toronto Star was still open on the kitchen table, and I rummage through the Want Ads, that dirty part of the newspaper near the back where complete strangers will soon become complete assholes in your life by forcing you to work menial jobs in humiliating uniforms for minimum wage.

"Find anything?" my cousin called from the bedroom, where two attendants helped wash and dress him.

"Social services are advertising for camp councilors to work with emotionally challenged kids."

"Oh yeah," He said. "That might suit you."

I'm not sure I knew what he meant but, I was beginning to think I'd outgrown my welcome. My cousin probably would have encouraged me to join the circus if the option had been available. Knowing my living room days were numbered, I thought it best to make an effort and apply.

I had no experience teaching drama—no experience working with kids and no experience going to or working at a camp. Despite all that, I was hired. It's worth noting that it's probably not a good sign if you get a job with no qualifications whatsoever.

My official position was Drama Councillor, and I prided myself that with only a year and half of theatre training behind me, I was well equipped to help others benefit from the wealth of my experience. I imagined myself, Maria Von Trapp, teaching children how to sing while they looked at me adoringly. Somehow, I conveniently blocked out the rebellious early stages she experienced and skipped straight to the good parts. Also, I might add, forgetting about the Nazis and having to climb over a mountain. Still, visions of me biking around camp with a group of happy campers behind me filled me with a sense of self-satisfaction.

As I packed my knapsack with deet and a secret stash of Twinkies, I thought of how only three weeks earlier I'd been in New York walking through Central Park and savoring Cappuccinos at outdoor cafés on Columbus. Now, here I was, ready for something different. The wilderness, I imagined, would be a welcome change—fresh air and loons instead of smog and sirens. I thought smugly about my classmates sweating behind visors at take-out windows shoveling fries into cardboard cups or wrapping sandwiches in tinfoil. Thumbs up to adventure, I told myself. The fact that I'd never once in my life enjoyed the great outdoors didn't factor into my mind. All of this changed with each accumulated minute of the 391 Kilometer drive north.

It was late afternoon when I arrived at the compound. Overcast, sullen, it was a place so secluded you'd need flares to find it. It had that distinct aura of someplace time forgot. A place left behind and neglected. In the brochure, the sun was shining, flowers filled the meadow, and you could practically hear laughter floating off the page. What I was looking at bore more of a resemblance to a situation in a Stephen King novel where camp councilors discover a pack of hungry teenage zombies have lured them to a seemingly idyllic retreat. Situated right in the heart of black fly country, I spent most of my days swatting insects so big they seem Jurassic.

During our orientation, child care workers warned us that children with mental health needs tend to run away - a lot and to keep strict attendance records and all eyes on them at all times. "These kids are resourceful and clever," they cautioned. I couldn't imagine being so determined you'd risk your life by escaping through the woods that surrounded us, but then again, I'd never been around children who weren't allowed cutlery before either

I shared my cabin with three other women with who I had absolutely nothing in common. Delia, a humorless 27-year-old cooking instructor who answered every question with a monosyllabic grunt, Jennifer, a 26-year old tennis instructor with massive blond ringlets who talked so quickly she sounded like a record on high speed, and an older aboriginal woman named Sunny who made us all dream catchers and offered advice about how to heal ourselves on days when we'd feel spent. "Remember, these kids need us," she said while purifying our cabin with sage. As I glanced around my assigned bunk, taking in the spider webs and loose floorboards, I had that sinking feeling that comes when you know you've made a terrible mistake. Before long, I was eating copious amounts of peanut butter on stale bagels amid a never-ending supply of starch. I'm not sure who thought it was a good idea to feed children with challenges like anxiety, depression, hyperactivity, and eating disorders copious amounts of sugar and carbs. It certainly did nothing to help them or me.

On the first day of class, I sat everyone in a circle. "Welcome to drama class," I said with a smile. "Let's begin by sharing with everyone a little bit about ourselves. Anything at all you'd like us to know?" A hand went up.

"I'm Tracy, and I hate my stupid ass brother. He can go straight to hell."

"Okay," I said, "That's a start. Who's next?"

Another hand. "I'm Jonathan, and this place sucks so much I wish it would burn to the ground!"

"Fair enough. Anyone else?"

"I'm Jo. I'm schizophrenic. So sometimes I'm Rachel and Julia. You'll know the difference because Rachel has a British dialect, and Julia talks slang."

"O-kay." I glanced at the social workers who sat on the edge of the room and looked at me with an expression that basically said, "We can't wait to see what you do next."

"Let's write a play," I suggested. "Write anything you want. Once you're happy with the work, I'll shape it into a cohesive piece that we'll rehearse and then present at the end of the season talent showcase."

The kids liked this idea. The showcase was a big deal. It was an opportunity for them to blow off some steam and express themselves to friends and family in a creative way. My only stipulation was not to use profanity. As the weeks passed, I was impressed with how well they all threw themselves into this project—all except Eric, the oldest boy in my 12 to 15-year-olds. Eric often wandered around the rehearsal space, unfocused and sullen.

"Any ideas for your piece?" I ask, checking in to see if I could help.

"I'm thinking," he'd say and then pace.

With three weeks left in the summer, I took my well-deserved week off to decompress. My boyfriend came up from Toronto and drove me to his parent's house at Post and Bayview, where caterers were preparing the tennis courts for an outdoor party. I walked into his mother's living room, and she gasped. "What happened to you?"

I didn't blame her. I hadn't spent much time looking at a mirror the past four weeks, but one glance at the large one in their bathroom told the full story. My hair was ratty; I had scabs on my knees, bruises on my arms and legs, and I was sunburnt. I was wearing a vintage skirt and blouse that was probably more Value Village than vintage and a pair of worn, scuffed purple moccasins; in essence, I was wearing slippers on my feet.

"Please take her to the mall and at least buy her a pair of shoes," his mother said, handing me her credit card and then rushing off to make sure the stuffed alligator would float in the pool. That week I ate my way through rugelach, hamantaschen, brisket, and bagels while his family watched me with awe and disgust.

Back at camp, the smell of burning insect repellent greeted me along with the news that the sailing and tennis instructors were sacked for disorderly conduct. Never mind, I had renewed energy and a sense of purpose. There were costumes and props to make. Sound and lighting effects to create. And we needed to rehearse. It was only a tiny stage somewhere on a remote camp in Northern Ontario, but the excitement was palpable. I was excited. This would be the best talent show ever, and my kids were going to blow the socks off everyone there!!!

"Eric," I said, "How's your piece coming along?"

"I finished it," he mentioned casually

"That's great. Can I see it?"

"I want to surprise you. You're going to love it, though. I promise."

I patted myself on the back. Eric had a breakthrough. All my encouragement and patience had paid off. Perhaps I'd helped him have a developmental breakthrough.

"Can you tell me what it's about?" I asked.

"The Beatles."

"Great. Okay," and left it at that.

Talent Night arrived along with parents and family friends. The lights dimmed, the kids performed, and the audience enthusiastically applauded as each "Mighty Mite" or "Spirit of Paradise" breezed across the stage, acting out skits about fairies and monsters and assorted escapades. Finally, it was Eric's turn. Out he came, looking serious and theatrical. He cleared his throat and addressed the audience.

"This is called, The Beatles Last Recording Session. By, Me."

Three of his closest camp friends filed out and took a space on the stage. The audience was silent.

There was a dramatic pause, then the piece began.

"Fuck you, Ringo,"

"Fuck you, Paul."

"Fuck you, George."

"Well fuck you, John."

Then they bowed and left the stage.

Personally, I thought it was kind of brilliant. Needless to say, I wasn't showered with accolades about my teaching methods or the effect I had on kids. I left there having no catharsis about mental health except that giving people the opportunity to express themselves without censor is probably a lot healthier than insisting they stay quiet. I admired the honesty displayed in the kid's work. If only, I thought to myself, I could be half as brave. Wasn't that what I was spending time and money learning how to do?

A week after being home, I found myself packing, once more, for school in New York. Our term letters had arrived with instructions on where to buy character shoes, leotards, copies of The Children's Hour, and Death of a Salesman. The camp already felt like it was 391 kilometers away - soon to be 659. My father drove me to the train station with my stepmother beside him; she was there, no doubt, to ensure I boarded.

"You going to be okay?" my father asked, giving me a hug and slipping a $50 bill into my pocket.

"She'll be fine." Elsie chimed in. "You don't have to worry about her. Let's go."

But I wanted my father to worry about me. Not all the time and to the exclusion of all else, but certainly the appropriate fatherly amount.

As I settled myself on the train, I watched my stepmother pull from father from the platform to the car and thought of Eric's brilliant play. Under my breath, I whispered the immortal words of the Beatles, "Fuck you."

#stepmother #mental health #children #young people #summer camp

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roswelldetails · 4 years

Text

RNM 2x10 - American Woman

EPISODE SUMMARY:

SECRETS OF THE PAST — After uncovering a cryptic message from the past, Alex (Tyler Blackburn), Isobel (Lily Cowles), Max (Nathan Dean), Michael (Michael Vlamis) and Maria (Heather Hemmens) set out in search of answers at the reservation where Alex’s mother grew up. Meanwhile, Cameron (guest star Riley Voelkel) encourages Liz (Jeanine Mason) to reach out to someone from her past after Auturo (guest star Carlos Compean) gets detained. Marcus Stokes directed the episode written by Rick Montano & Vincent Ingaro & Jason Gavin (#210). Original airdate 5/18/2020.

DETAILS:

Tripp brings Louise to the Reservation in a body bag where the Navajo doctors are able to save her life.

"Your message said that you were gonna bring two women that would be no trouble. This looks like a lot of trouble."

"I must have gotten the codes wrong."

"No, don't give me that Manes man nonsense. Not here in my own home."

"Her name is Louise. I promised her friend Nora I'd protect them. My brother triggered an ambush before I could get them here. And Nora…"

"Wait, what does the Air Force want them for?"

"They're not from around here. They're from...up north."

"Yìiyáh. No. She can't stay here… What if your brother comes here and finds a fugitive. I can't put my people at risk for a white woman."

"Please. You're the only person I trust. If she doesn't make it, it was all for nothing."

"I'll have you remember that I was the one that saved your ass in Okinawa. I don't owe you anything. I'm only doing this because you're my family. And because I'm a damn fool."

A few notes on this scene:

--I don't know why Tripp pretends he got the codes wrong. Unless he's spiraling and talking about the timing of the attack. But it seems like he means the message that he was bringing them to the reservation. Clearly things didn't go according to plan. Though, it is always possible that we're still missing bits of the story.

--OG Easter Egg. "They're not from around here. They're from up north." For anyone who didn't watch OG, this is almost exactly how the exchange went when Max told Liz he was an alien in the 1999 pilot.

--Yìiyáh - I found nothing on this word. I'm assuming that it's a curse word or general exclamation of negativity, but literally got zero results on google. It's possible, of course, that it's misspelled in the captions. There were a lot of errors in the captions in this opening scene.

--While there really isn't any overt statement that Alex is half Navajo and this town is part of Navajo Nation (which has been in the news a lot lately and therefore is a good place in this country to be aware of), there's lots of clues or subtle enough statements that I feel like it can be accepted as fact, since: Harrison is a codetalker, the necklace is Navajo, tsela is a Navajo word. So I did a little peeking and it could work. The closest Navajo town is about a 4 hour drive from Roswell.

Navajo Nation:

(side note - Navajo Nation has extreme poverty but also is utterly gorgeous. And the Tribe gets income from tourism. Just a few places there that I'm dying to go? Monument Valley, Antelope Canyon, Shiprock. Check it out.)

Liz comments on Max's irregular heartbeat, with literally no acknowledgment of the fact that she's straddling him and has a history of causing his heart to race...and other forms of lack of control (think 1x03).

"I'm excited about this though. You know Alex dug up all that info on our bio Mom. You sure you can't come?"

"Got to take my dad in for his blood tests. I want to check on Jenna too. Cannot believe she's back in the hospital again."

"She's been in pain for weeks. I have no leads on the mysterious hunting van, and Charlie hasn't made contact."

"Hmm. To be fair, I do hear that phone service is a little spotty in flying saucers."

"Okay, I get that. You think my alien abduction theory is bogus."

"I know you're worried that this has something to do with you, but I don't think this is an alien thing."

"Cam and I had fractal burns on our necks. We had no memory of what happened. That's alien stuff. I just want clarity on something."

--Note that it's past time to abandon all hope of anything resembling a defined timeline for this show...once again we have weeks passing between episodes. This is the second time this season that the time passing has only been generically described as "weeks". It's been at least a year since Liz came back to Roswell (per her conversation with Diego), but a year would be summer (late May or early June, specifically), and in this episode Isobel mentions that it's winter (which would be a year and a half).

Maria's pitch:

"In conclusion, esteemed members of the Roswell Tourism Board, while the Pony is normally a sanctuary for locals during CrashCon, I think that my plan to turn it into the Contact Cantina Pop-Up Bar will be a hit with alien fans."

"We're talking more money than we first speculated, aren't we now?"

"You know, Mayor Bernhardt, I forgot to tell you about our new morning cocktail… It's coffee, vanilla cream, and our best bourbon. Let me get you a double."

Note: so this is the famous Mayor Bernhardt. Funded by the Long family. Doesn't like immigrants. Had a racist relative who wouldn't give first prize to the black man.

Maria's vision…

Herself, younger, sitting at the Pony bar.

"You have to let me go! You're just crazy! And I'm trapped!"

And then she runs from the bar crying.

She's not wearing the necklace.

Describing it to Michael:

"I had a vision, but it was more like a memory. Of a fight I had with my mom when I was younger."

Isobel interrupts Michael and Maria to pick them up for the road trip. Just a few relevant excepts from this scene:

"Pack your bags. We're going on a family road trip."

"Is this why Max wanted the day off?"

"In the photo of Max and Isobel's bio Mom, there was a water tower. Alex recognized that water tower from the town where his mom grew up. You should come with us."

Alex and Forrest talk in the Crashdown:

"Hope that limp isn't from a paintball injury."

"Nope. Those bruises have mostly healed. I just got a new prosthetic. Takes a minute to get used to. You working on your book?"

"I write my book on my computer. However, I write my angsty emo poetry in an angsty emo journal."

"I'm actually working on some poetry myself. Well, song lyrics, technically. It's a lot harder than it was in high school."

"Yeah, writing was easier for me when I was a kid too. Feelings...we bury 'em now. You just got to find that thing inside of you that doesn't have a voice. Lend it yours. You know? Listen, I have like, zero musical talent, but if you need help with the worst part, we could, uh…"

"Actually I'm leaving tomorrow for a few days to go talk to some recruits."

Michael interruptus, and the conversation goes casual.

--What happened to "angsty nerd isn't really my type." Or...was it FORESHADOWING!!!?! 😂

--Oh hi there clear shot of Forrest's clearly Deep Sky logoed ring…

Cam has been having debilitating migraines that have been keeping her bedridden since the abduction.

Nurse Kate is a badass. she tries to keep ICE from getting into a patient's room. Liz hears her and hurries to the waiting room, where there's more ICE activity. Liz panics and tries to get Arturo out of the hospital, but she caught the attention of the ICE officers. However, Liz knows her rights.

"He has applied for his green card. I'm his sponsor, okay? This is his G-1145 right here."

"You can show that to the court."

"It's okay. Call the lawyer."

"No. He is a diabetic. It is illegal to detain a patient."

"Exigent circumstances. Move."

"No. Hey, this is an unconstitutional arrest and the ACLU will be all over you."

"Elizabeth, we respect the law in this family. If you're in trouble, who will take care of the mouse?"

--G-1145 is a request for confirmation that your green card application has been accepted:

--The timing of this all. Liz has been prepared for this moment all her life and would fight it to the point of getting arrested herself, if not for Rosa. Rosa's safety is the only thing that convinces Liz to step aside.

--As an only semi related note, this is a really interesting contrast to how they wrote Jeanine's character out on Grey's Anatomy.

--Also feel like it would be remiss of me to not point out Liz's reactiveness and fightinf mentality is mirroring how Liz initially reacted to Max pulling her over in the pilot.

"Okay. So the Deputy on call says there's one detention center in the county. Here's the info."

"He doesn't have anything left in Mexico. No one. Nowhere to go."

"You can't think like that right now."

"I think like this always. Rosa and I used to recite our escape plan for if our parents got deported and we got separated in foster care. I begged my parents not to tell Santa where we lived because I was afraid he'd ask for papers. My whole life was built on a fear of this day coming, and it's here. If I'd have kept better track of his health, he wouldn't need these tests. I should have made him move to California. I thought we were safe being outside the hundred-mile zone, but after this election I should have known better. And I should have made him wear a sweater this morning because it's freezing out there. And what if he…?"

"...okay think. Is there someone we can call?"

"Kyle's at a conference, but I can have him call his mom."

"Do you know anyone with some real power? You know, Federal muscle?"

Cam gets dressed to take Liz to the Detention Center and Liz calls Diego for help.

The road trip group arrive at the reservation and meet Gregory Manes. He says he remembers them all from high school. He takes Max, Michael, and Isobel to learn about Louise while Alex and Maria go jewelry shopping.

Meanwhile Gregory is taking the Pod Squad to Louise's grave, but pauses for some flirting:

"You're still the Isobel Evans who convinced the basketball captain to pull four different fire alarms to get out of AP Gov, right? Yeah, legend. Here she is."

"Oh my God, it's covered in flowers. It's winter."

"Rumor is they grow year-round unattended. She was a healer. I'm told she helped with trauma, addiction, that sort of thing. All without speaking."

"This another grave?"

"She was pregnant."

"Louise arrived gravely injured. And the baby didn't survive.

--Louise died the same day the Pod Squad came out of the pods, confirming that she is probably the old woman on the reservation that was described in 1x09.

--Michael found the mysterious purple flowers growing on Louise's grave.

Alex and Maria at the trading post.

"Are you okay? Seem a little off."

"I had a vision during a meeting this morning. It almost cost me a deal that could save the bar. Maybe I should just wear the necklace. Go back to being a social media guru. Slash barkeep. Slash magical trope in our redneck mayor's fantasy."

"So why did you really come today? Your ideal day off isn't fighting for the radio silence with Isobel Evans, so…"

"This is the back of my necklace. The word stamped in the silver says Tsela. The necklace is Navajo, so I thought maybe that was the jeweler, but no one I've asked here seems to know who made it. I just want answers."

"Well, there's a ton of silver jewelry for sale here. So why don't we just keep looking for something with the same stamp?"

Pod Squad sharing a bottle of acetone by Louise's grave.

"Noah said our planet was war-torn. But the hell they found here can't have been worth it."

"Do you think that Louise's baby died from her injuries or do you think maybe it was never going to survive?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I was pregnant. When you died. Obviously I'm not anymore. I just can't help wondering if that was my last chance. Assuming that humans and aliens can't procreate because they're different species. Maybe that little baby wasn't viable."

"You almost died during the abortion, didn't you? I could feel it. Noah almost killed you again, huh? Oh, I need a minute."

After Max leaves Michael offers to be a sperm donor for Isobel if she ever wants to have a kid.

Liz at the Detainment Center

"It's Ortecho. Arturo Ortecho. He's my dad. And he needs gliclazide and beta-blockers. I brought both."

"We can't take contraband here, but there is an infirmary on-site, if he's here."

"You know, out of curiosity, did Nebane Abienwi visit an infirmary before he died of a brain bleed in your custody? What about Johana Medina León? She was 25 years old, okay? People walk through those doors and they die...Who's your supervisor? You need prior approval before conducting enforcement in a hospital. There was a compliance memo."

"Right, a memo, which is just like a law only not. Unless you calm down, I'm gonna arrest you for obstruction."

"Okay, Liz, maybe sit down. Sir, I'm Deputy Jenna Cameron, and we appreciate your interpretation of your guidelines, but we have an urgent health concern about an inmate here, if you just wouldn't mind checking the system."

Jenna goes with the agent…when she returns...

"Do you have a court case next week for a vandalism charge?"

"What? Yes, but I didn't do it. I'm just gonna plead guilty and pay the fine. It's nothing."

"They denied your dad's green card application because of a misdemeanor on your record. You can't be his sponsor."

Jenna's headaches overtake her. Meanwhile, the ICE agent comes back with news:

"Here just came up. Ortecho is being transferred to El Paso for his deportation hearing. You can see him there around Tuesday."

--Liz's misdemeanor is taking the fall for Rosa's vandalism from when she was arrested by Sheriff Valenti in 2x02.

Gregory takes the Pod Squad to see Harrison who is on his death bed. Manes boys are always welcome here, the woman tells them. Harrison is the only one Louise ever spoke to on the reservation.

"He met my great uncle Tripp Manes fighting in WWII. Harry was a code talker."

Michael gets Gregory to leave with him so that Max and Isobel can go inside of Harrison's head. Their conversation:

"You look like her."

"Harrison. You look different."

"That was a lesson I learned from Louise. How to take your mind to a better time when you're in pain. Come on. I haven't seen the sky in a while. I'll tell you about her...I taught Tripp the codes in the Pacific. That's how we set up the rescue. He was supposed to snuggle Louise and Nora here, but the plan fell apart."

In the past between Harrison and Tripp:

"You've changed. The man I met on that ship obeyed orders."

"Guess I saw what happens when good men fall in line with bad orders. I'm a Christian, Harry. When evil itself tells me to kill a woman with child, I disobey. Even if the evil looks just like my brother."

A nurse rolls Louise into the room in a wheelchair.

"Did you find a family for her?"

"There should be music where you take her. I think she's a dancer."

"You can give her a house full of music, Louise. Nora wanted me to protect you so that you could protect the child."

"No. He's coming for me and I can't even move. No. When the devil comes, I won't be able to fight for her. Please. It is hard to be a woman on your planet. It's only gonna be harder still for her. Roy Bronson believed in meeting hatred with compassion. And I want her to be like him. A light in the darkness. A little star on the ground. I want that for both my girls."

"Where did he take the baby?"

"Can't say."

"No. Tell us where our sister went."

"She isn't your sister. Louise rarely spoke, but when she did, she spoke of two daughters. Two stars on the ground. She had no sons. You aren't hers. You came from something else...She lived for decades longer than she should have, trapped inside of a body that could no longer dance, waiting for a sign that you would be all right. She loved you."

Jenna wakes up back at the hospital.

"I asked them to run a new test. Your headaches are spinal headaches. Because there was a hole torn into your spinal cord."

"I'm sorry, what? My kidnappers gave me a spinal tap?"

"Do you mind signing off so I can look at your tox screen?"

"Yeah, of course, but, Liz, you don't have to do this, okay? Your dad, and…"

"I need a distraction. I can't leave for El Paso until tomorrow, and they're not letting him have visitors other than his lawyer until Tuesday, so...thank you for being here. You used your privilege to help me. I'm furious that I needed it, but I needed it."

--Reposado is a type of tequila

--Spinal Headaches:

Isobel and Max on what they learned from Harrison:

"You've always been different than me and Michael, okay? Always. You were the leader. From the start. I mean, you're the special one. You're the healer."

"I was. Now I can't even sneeze without my heart skipping a beat. All my life, no matter how weird things got, I never felt alone. Because I was your twin. Maybe I'm different. Maybe I'm a freak...I can't stop thinking about being chained up when I was a kid. It didn't feel like someone bad chained me up. It felt like I was the someone bad."

"Max, you're not dangerous."

"Saving people destroys me. But killing Noah? That felt good. I was high. And whenever I think about what he did to you, I want to chase that high. I wish I could kill him a thousand times. Louise mentioned the devil. Maybe something evil was chasing them. And maybe that something was me."

"Okay. I want to show you something. You see this hand on her shoulder there? See, Michael thought it was just someone who got cropped out of the photo, but no. Any female would recognize that body language. She does not want that hand on her. Louise said the devil would come. I think something evil was after them, but it wasn't you. I want to find out who it was."

Alex and Gregory:

"Hey, I just wanted to say thank you before we go. I also feel like I should congratulate you on getting out."

"Of the Navy?"

"Of the family. Getting out from under Dad."

"You got to break free of him, man."

"Do you feel free?"

"I don't think I get to be free until you are, Alex. You know, you're my brother. I wish that I would've stood up for you more."

"You know, I think he's actually getting a little bit better. It's like the stroke melted away the psycho in his brain or something."

"If you can forgive him you should. Cast off the stone. Let me hate him for you. I owe you that much."

Back at the trading post with the whole road trip group.

"We scoured the store for jewelry that said Tsela on it, but nada. Although I did manage to spend an entire week's worth of tips anyway."

"Tsela?"

"Yeah it was printed on the back of my grandmother's necklace. I thought I might find some answers here."

"Well, apparently, it is Navajo for star on the ground. So, you guys ready to go?"

"Star on the ground. Maria? What year was your grandmother born?"

"Uh, '48, I think?"

"Was she adopted?"

"Yeah. Oh my God."

"Your grandmother was my sister."

Note: The direct translation of Tsela is stars lying down. Interestingly, it's often a name in Navajo. When I googled it, the top results were names for Navajo boys.

Diego and Liz's conversation:

"Diego, I never would have reached out if it weren't an emergency. Thank your mom for me."

"The Senator was more than happy to call in a favor. She's always liked you."

"I like her too. We need more people like her."

"Look, we got lucky your dad got out at all, much less without an ankle monitor. And you pissed a few people off back there, so it's not likely that this is the end for you. Who's your lawyer? Or should I make some calls?"

"No, you've done enough. After what I did, I can't even believe you listened to my voicemail...How did you get here so fast?"

"I was at the airport in Phoenix when you called. Just had to reroute real fast."

"And how have you been?"

"Well, my fiancée left me. I'm kidding. No, I'm seeing someone. It's getting pretty serious, so…"

"Good. Me too."

"Good. We can be friends...And don't take this the wrong way. Please tell me you're not wasting that incredible brain of yours writing alien hamburger puns."

"I am working on a few projects. Nothing I can talk about, but, I'm not wasting anything."

"Well, all the coolest studies make you sign NDAs anyway, so…"

"You know what? There actually is something...Do you know what butyricol is? Worth a shot. It's this chemical I found in my friend's tox screen. I had never heard of it."

"Maybe you're slacking, Ortecho."

"I am sorry, it has only been a year. Did you literally forget everything about me?"

Note: I'm very pleased to say that when I googled butyricol, half of the top results were RNM related. Definitely not a real drug.

Malex fight in the bunker:

"We're closed!"

"Hey, that alien console piece that Jim Valenti left me...You still have it?"

"No. I sold it on eBay."

"You didn't attach it to your console."

"I tried. Doesn't fit."

"So, Tripp left this for my dad before he died. My dad thought it was a code, but this is a reference sketch of this exact piece. My dad's been looking for this thing for 30 years and Jim Valenti had it all along...I'm gonna give it to him. I want to see what he does with it once he's got it. Look, if it didn't fit in your console, then it fits somewhere else. My dad could lead us there.""Your dad hunts aliens, Alex. He'll lead my family right off a cliff."

"I've protected you so far. That's not changing. Besides, he's different these days...I don't trust him, Guerin. I just…I'm asking you to trust me.""When we were kids, you believed people were good, despite humanity doing everything to prove you otherwise. And, God, I loved you for it. But what was charming when we were 17, it's just stupid now. How do you not see that? You believe there's some good in your father?"

"Yeah. Yeah I do. God forbid I have faith in people who don't give me a good reason to."

"That's not fair."

"No? Why is your hand covered? You miss your injury because you want to hurt. Your anger made you feel safe. I will always hate my father for what he did to you, but I don't want to live in that toolshed for the rest of my life. I don't want to walk around thinking that people don't change, that one day everyone's just gonna let me down, 'cause I am not building a damn rocket ship in a hidden lair. There's one way for me off this planet. And I need to believe in a reason to stay. I promise I'll keep you safe."

"Can't let you leave with that."

"What are you gonna do? Fight me for it?"

And then Alex leaves and is kidnapped. Hit over the head by an unknown assailant. The note from Tripp blows away.

Max and Liz are talking back at Max's house while Max drinks a lot of bourbon.

"You know, you never told me why your parents immigrated here in the first place."

"My dad wanted a family, but not in Juárez. There was no opportunity, no money. Women were disappearing there all the time. He didn't want my mom to be one of them. So he fled. You're wondering why your family came here."

"If I even had a family. I know so little about my own story. And the parts I thought I understood are just unraveling."

"Max. Family is the one area where I am certain that biology does not matter. Look, when I found out that Rosa was only my half sister that didn't change anything."

"This is different...There are only three of us on this planet, as far as we know. I mean, feeling disconnected from them makes me feel completely alone."

"Completely alone? I'm right here."

"When you needed a rescue today your Mensa society, old money son of a senator ex was there to answer your prayers. I couldn't even answer a call. You didn't need me."

"Oh my God. Okay, so would you prefer that I did need you? Would you prefer to come home to find me crying into my dad's windbreaker so that you can swoop me up and drive me to El Paso for his deportation hearing in the morning?"

"That's not fair. You wanted me to talk about today."

"Yes, okay. I'm sorry. I want you to feel better."

"Well, you think maybe you could go back in time and not meet someone as handsome as Diego? Seriously. He's like if someone mixed a cologne ad with a Kennedy. It's ridiculous. I will never feel adequate again."

"You're wrong. Max, let me be clear. You are objectively better in bed...And I never woke up on a Sunday morning to him singing Hank Williams in the shower...He never snuck unreasonable tips into my dad's checks. Or quoted Henry the Fourth. Coming home to you at the end of my worst days and my best days is the only rescue I need."

I actually found this background on the Ortechos to be fascinating. In case you don't know Juárez is a pretty big city directly opposite the border from El Paso. It does have some huge crime issues. But it also is one of those border cities where the border is a little thinner. Like San Diego and Tijuana. People live in Juárez and work in El Paso and vice versa.

If you want to see a really dark & gritty portrayal of Juárez, I'd highly recommend you to check out the American version of the show The Bridge. Which literally deals with an investigation related to disappearing women.

Isobel and Maria at the Pony:

"She looks so determined."

"Yeah, neither of us would be here if she hadn't been. You know she was paralyzed 50 years and she still managed to use her powers to help ease troubled minds. You know how hard that is? To take on someone else's suffering? I mean, it doesn't just disappear. She would have been carrying all of that."

"She suffered so much loss."

"I don't know how to be worth it."

Michael on the bracelet.

"The beads are made with pollen from the alien flower. I found another plant growing at Louise's grave. Okay my working theory is that they grow from alien remains. There's this UFO lore about that Libyan desert where the flowers have been discovered before. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to. I know better than to think I can save Maria DeLuca. I hope you decide you can save yourself."

Max is still drinking after Liz went to bed. At 4:04am Diego calls and wakes her up.

"I made a call, about that toxin in your friend's system. Butyricol. It's a drug. It's a memory eraser. It was developed by a private organization and purchased by the military for weaponization. There's no approved application outside of violent combat."

Liz tries to call Alex, but he's too busy being unconscious in the back of his SUV. So his kidnapper pockets his phone.

Max has a memory flash. There's fighting, weapons clashing, a woman's voice...all while he's chained down in the cave. Louise appears and kneels down to touch his shoulder. He looks afraid, but she's trying to comfort him (even though she has blood splattered all over her white clothes). She smiles and nods and then cuts Max free of the chains with her alien weapon. She offers him her hand, but before he can take it a figure in white appears and he and Louise fight. Max cries out and hides his face.

Present day Max is visibly shook by the flash.

MUSIC:

1. Shelly Fairchild "Worry No More"

2. Powerslide "Just You And I"

3. Will Fox "Against The Tide"

4. Tommee Profitt feat. Sam Tinnesz "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"

#roswell new mexico #details #rnm season 2 #episode details #long post #rnm 210 #american woman

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sockatine · 5 years

Text

The Scent of Lavender

((My first self insert fanfic to be posted here! I'll be using the name Califia "Cali" Morales for myself. Paired up with Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead. Takes place in season 2.))

Light. Sunlight? Yes, that's sunlight. The room is white. Why is it white?

Voices are talking to her. Who are these voices? Obviously they must be her family; mom and dad, to be precise. Sitting up and rubbing her eyes, yawning and stretching, still not completely awake or aware. Even as her eyes fully opened, she had to rub them again. These people's voices still washing over her like white noise, or nighttime ambiance.

Nothing was registering quite yet, until an old man sat at her bedside and asked, in a comforting and gentle tone. "Can you tell us your name?"

That's when it all hit her. With watering eyes, she asked: "Where am I?"

...

When they found this girl passed out in the woods, it was nothing short of strange. She'd fallen out of a tree at Rick's feet, startling him. He checked her pulse, shook her in attempt to wake her up, but nothing. She was still perfectly alive, minus perhaps starving and bruised. And he carried her back to the RV, deciding it was the right thing to do. After all, Rick himself had been in a coma and woken up to an apocalypse. This was a personal sense of sympathy in him.

Needless to say, after much argument, she was allowed to stay. They put her in the bed of the RV and hoped that at some point, she'd come to. Enter their arrival at Hershel's, having one kid shot and the other still missing, along with the mysterious coma-girl. This was enough to get Hershel to allow them all to stay until everything with the group was a-okay.

Now, that she had finally woken up, she'd have to be comforted a bit before getting any answers. It's not like anyone would take it very well when they find they've been in a coma in a tree for god knows how long. "I'm gonna ask you again, and I want you to take a deep breath or two before you answer; What is your name?"

She did take a few deep breaths, as needed. "Califia..."

"Califia?"

"Yes... Califia Morales."

"Alright, Miss. Now, I'm gonna call in the people that found you, so you can give them the answers they want. Is that okay with you?"

"... yes."

Really, it wasn't. None of this was okay, but she knew she needed to give answers to the people who potentially saved her life. The memories were flooding back to her once Hershel called in Rick and some others to meet her. Rick was of course, the one to ask questions and recieve answers.

"Do you remember what happened before you got yourself up in that tree?"

"... There was a crash. A bus crash. A-and I... I don't remember what happened after. I-I know my family wasn't with me, they... don't live in Georgia..."

"Alright. What else do you remember?"

"I... was by myself. Out by myself... dead people were walking a-and hunting me..."

"Uh-huh..."

"I killed some. I tried calling my parents a-and... and-and-"

A deep inhale, and a pause.

"... I kept walking. I lived off what was in my bag, and gathering wild plants. More dead people came and, I went up the tree... but I don't know why I was asleep... I don't..."

"Hey, hey. Don't worry about that. We'll... we'll get you settled. Once we leave, you'll be coming with us."

"I... thanks. Can I go outside now?"

"Yeah, yeah sure."

...

She was sitting by herself, gathering some lavender after a nice, long cry. It was a lot to take in, really. That she had no idea how her family in California was doing. And it would be easier for her to cope with having been all alone, than to realize she'd been completely useless to a group of people who were kind enough to save her. How long had she been dead weight? Was it ungrateful to believe she should've died.

"What's that 'cha got?"

She almost flinched, turning to see some guy looming over her. Must've been one of the group. "... Lavender."

"You always go 'round pickin flowers?"

"It's for tea... I'm sorry, have we met, or...?"

"I'm Daryl."

"Califia. But call me Cali. It's, uh... nice to meet you."

She stood up, holding her hand out for a handshake. Better than just awkwardly talking, crouching over a bush. Daryl shook it, to at least adding something to keep the conversation from getting too awkward. "So, we found you in a tree..."

"Uh, yeah. I... eheh. I guess I figured it was a good way to avoid walkers. They can't seem to climb for shit, really. So, uhm... is there l-like a job or something I should be getting to, or-"

"Hell if I know."

"O-oh. Well, if you need anything... like, anything at all, I'm right here..."

"Right..."

Daryl left ger to her business.

"Oh, uh... it was nice meeting you!" She added. He didn't respond.

Daryl hadn't much of an opinion on her. She seemed nice enough, but frankly he hadn't any idea how good or bad of an addition she'd be. And frankly, nothing she did or said was anything remarkable, noteworthy, or eyecatching. Cali, as she insisted on being called, was short, pudgy, baby faced, and from every other angle Daryl could see, she looked like walker bait. At least she was smart enough to get in a tall place to avoid them, but perhaps she might not be much for fighting back or wilderness survival.

Nonetheless, he'd be willing to see if she could prove herself. It's not like she's useless.

A few days went by, and Daryl noticed a pattern. When given chores by the other members of the group, Cali would attend to them quietly without ever wanting help. Her voice was always soft and meek when she asked for anything, which was rare in itself. Without fail, around dusk, Cali was always sitting at the lavender bush. Either to pick more, or to sit with a notebook. A diary? And she was drinking that tea she said the lavender was for at night, but also in certain times in the afternoon.

Lavender tea was for sleep, and calming nerves. Daryl knew this because of his mom's old remedies she'd use, when he was just a kid.

So far, he'd deducted that Cali was dead meat if she were to go out on her own. She could make it for a certain amount of time, but her nerves would get the best of her and make her clumsy. Ergo, she's walker bait.

...

It was getting lonely, for Cali. She fancied being alone, but not being lonely. But she was tragically insecure; unwilling to talk about her interests with the other ladies, unable to even approach any of the men. The closest she could get was watching Carl when Lori wasn't, and neither one of them actually talked much to her. So logically, Cali wanted some validation out of being useful.

To be frank, the only person Cali really considered approaching and making friends with was Daryl. He also seemed to be partial to being alone, after all. But it's not like he would ever want to activately be friends with her anyway, right? Cali wrote and drew, she was into books and fantasy and mythology. She was a nerd. A total geek. And what was Daryl? Manly as hell, outdoorsy, and a goddamn hunter.

That didn't change the fact though, that when Daryl finally came back with Sophia's doll, Cali was most certainly concerned. She could see him from her lavender bush, he looked absolutely terrible. And it didn't help that Andrea shot him, to which Cali promptly responded with a "What the fuck!?" of disbelief.

As everyone rushed over to help, Cali wasn't really needed. She asked, but Rick told her that all too familiar phrase: "We got this, thanks." But no, she didn't want to be excluded. She wanted to at least do something. To overtly express that she wanted to help and be part of the group; but so far it had all gone from her being too afraid to talk to anyone, to everyone excluding her by assuming she didn't care for anyone.

So Cali decided to do something about it. At least one thing. One nice thing for someone.

So she visited Daryl, inside Hershel's house. With a small gift. Some lavender, with a paper wrapped around it. While he was asleep, she slipped it onto the nightstand.

...

"Hey, Cali!"

She was at the lavender bush again, with her notebook, whipping around to see Daryl holding her gift. "Y-yeah?"

"... you wrote this? Daryl unfolded the paper. It was a poem:

You carry us far Through all your scars Of old and new, Through sun and stars

Take your rest Feel happiness For it's worthwhile to us all

"... Is it bad?"

Daryl sighed in disbelief, taking a seat next to her. "Nah, that ain't it..."

"I didn't mean to bother you, I just wanted to get you a get well-"

"Why though?" "Huh?"

"You're always sitting out here. You got you're notebook, your head in the clouds. Ya don't talk to nobody-"

"I'm sorry."

"-and you apologize for it. What the hell do you do out here?"

She paused, stuck between just dying on the spot or coughing up the notebook. "I... draw. And I write." She handed the notebook to him, so he could go through it himself.

In it were various practice sketches, poems, characters, and unfinished stories. It was a chaotic mess of creation, full of concepts and ideas that may never be fully fleshed out. "It's just weird nerdy stuff... I-I really like mythology, and uh... comics..."

"... This is what you were hiding all this time?" "Yeah..."

Daryl closed the notebook, handing it back to Cali.

"... What use you think any of that has, anyway?"

"I... wait, what do you mean?"

"I mean now that dead people are walking around eating people. How's any of that gonna help?"

Cali paused, thinking for a moment. Not necessarily on what to answer, but rather how to word the answer out. Such a question wasn't one that confused her very much.

"... Well, we got survival down. If we're hungry, we can pick plants and kill animals. If we're tired, we can make a shelter that's safe. But... what's the point of it all?"

"... That doesn't answer my question."

She gave him a look. For once, it was a more assertive look; like what she was about to say was something painfully obvious. Like he should have known, by now. "Animals survive. Humans live. And what's the point of surviving if you can't live?" She tapped her notebook. "This here is... how I live."

Cali opened up the notebook, flipping to a page in which she was drawing a kraken. "So that's why I'm always here with my notebook. It's quiet so I can focus, and it smells nice with the lavender here. So there."

The conversation ended there, and she expected Daryl to once again take his leave. But, he didn't. He was still sitting there, watching her doodle away. Her drawing wasn't particularly amazing, but... it was okay. He could tell she wasn't actually paying him much mind. Just, focused on her work. But Cali knew he was there, watching. She just had yet to realize she was fine with it.

And they just kind of stayed like that for a while. Sitting in silence at the lavender bush.

((Special thanks to @kiksselfships for encouraging me most to embrace my self insertion, and @skollwriting for giving me the match up that inspired this new ship))

#self insert #self ship #twd #twd daryl #daryl dixon #fanfic #self indulgent stuff

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ybyg · 3 years

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久しぶりでしょうね？ Let's catch up.

I haven't been diligently studying Japanese due to... just life. Some unavoidable things happened and I had to live through the nightmare. It's all right now. I think. I'm here to update you about how miserable it's been trying to catch up with what I've missed and maybe talk about the time I spoke to JO1's Sho who can speak English and I wanted to make an effort to speak to him in Japanese but failed (without sounding like a twat who's showing off).

Continue reading under the cut.

Note: I barely edited it, so if it sounds out of place, or my Japanese sounds awkward... tough luck, I'm probably not going to edit it.

1. Wanikani update

レベル１０に入ってでした。正直は、まだレベル9ですね。This thing levels up as soon as you learn everything there is on the level you formerly in, without taking into account if you have complete at least a round of revision on the last thing that you've learned (they call it 'review' on WK).

The SRS thing is proven to be the best method to recall phrases and kanji. I'm paying for Wanikani (okay, the thing is good. I like it) and have Anki installed and haven't reviewed anything since I created my decks. But it works alright. I may have the worst memory/information-retaining brain and it might've taken me forever to recall what 予 is (it's beforehand, apparently), but I can still remember the ones I've learned the longest; basically from levels 1-4. (I'm learning 予 in the latest level, that is level 9. I'm still suffering turbulence here.)

I haven't seen my stats. Let's have a look, shall we?

I live by the words 'it could've been worse.'

My percentages used to be at least in the 90% across the board, but I just jumped straight into reviewing and clearing over 900 radicals, kanji, and vocabulary without revising, hence why I've done terribly and now it's bringing my stats down.

Radicals I can't believe I fucked up my radicals. They were supposed to be the easiest. I have no words.

If you need a single tip to start learning kanji, you can start by learning its components, and that is the radicals. It'd be easier for you to create stories for mnemonics. Other than that, try Heisig's Remembering the Kanji.

Kanji I am aware I could've done better at this, but kanji itself is just confusing. It's sometimes easy to predict some of the words, like ち that's used for earth or soil (地) and pond (池)--and not to mention the difference is just the radicals soil and tsunami--but I deduced that some aspects of nature fall under the ち umbrella.

And then there are devils like 他 and 地. Ugh. I'm going to leave it here.

Vocabulary

I know what the word 交じる stands for, and then you have 交わる which is thrown into the mix just to confuse me, and that just pisses me off every damn time.

I honestly know the meaning better than the pronunciation... which is dumb because if I were to speak in Japanese, I'm supposed to say the words majiru or majiwaru, not to be mixed or to intersect.

One thing about WK: you might understand the meaning differently. For example, they may offer the word substitution, but I would think of another word, replacement. Unless you input the word 'replacement' into the system, it would still be wrong in your reviews, and you're expected to remember substitution instead. And as an ESL, well, sometimes I'm just expected to drill the word substitution into my brain. I barely use the word daily anyway. So, you're expected to do extra work in order to learn, which is not a bad thing, but it can be annoying sometimes.

To recap, I don't do terribly despite not doing WK for a few months, but I could've done better. It's still in the okay territory, but I'll do my best to improve my reading skills and expand my lexicon.

What's next? I still have to clear up 92 lessons which include the level 9 that I've yet to cover and the entirety of level 10. On top of that, the tens and hundreds of reviews need to be cleared out daily... it's still going to be a rigorous routine when it comes to this one.

2. Grammar (and Reading)

In order not to spend my own money on learning materials, I persuaded my mum to get me みんなの日本語 (MNN); both workbook and notes for Level 1, and I chipped in with my Kinokuniya discount card. Yes, I am 26, but my finances haven't been the greatest as of late, so if anyone needs to hire a writer/social media manager, please send me a DM.

I digressed. Anyway, I've reached the 4th chapter, and it's been great so far! The workbook is completely in Japanese, and as someone who can read hiragana, and to some extent, katakana, it's definitely a great book that helps me improve my reading skills. I wish WK and MNN were at least streamlined because the kanji on WK has the tendency to be more scattered due to the complexity of certain kanji despite them being N5-N4 kanji.

[I edited out a paragraph on Kanji levels and complexities but would like to highlight the inconsistencies in the kanji levels that's shared on the Internet, including in WK. I suppose you will never find the one true answer as to which level does 傘 (umbrella) belongs to: is it N5 per stated in Jisho, or is it N1 as stated in WK? I guess you will never know...)

I prefer MNN over Genki as Genki explains points in English and annotates translation/furigana as bright as day underneath the Japanese texts. As a high-functioning English/romaji reader, my brain isn't doing the hard word; it's just reading the English and romaji. MNN forces me to read in Japanese and makes me translate the sentences on my own, so I am actively learning from the activity. Whilst it has a separate book that explains the chapters in English, I find it very helpful for me to immerse myself in Japanese then flip through the English version of the book just to see how well I understand the lesson. I would suggest Genki for absolute beginners and MNN for those who are in the lower-intermediate level.

I've been reading JO1's mails and articles related to them with varying degree of successes. The shorter ones are simpler and more manageable, but reading longer ones make me quit halfway. I should be reading more so it'd be easier for me to recognise the ones I've yet to learn and strengthening those I've learned.

3. Active learning (Speaking, Listening and Writing)

I've tried to speak in Japanese to myself, and it's mostly え、なんだろう今。。。、ヤッバ、マジ？、いいですね！、ほんまに？ and the latter being 'really?' in Kansai dialect (関西弁), thanks to half of the members of JO1. Since I'm learning 'textbook', formal Japanese, I'm still finding it extremely difficult to communicate in vernacular/colloquial Japanese. Not that I'm familiar with 敬語 (keigo/honorific language) either, just trying to fit the よ, ね, です, します, ません et cetera have racked my brain and I'm at the precipice of trying not to lose my mind. Perhaps, if I tried harder, I'd be able to use it comfortably. But for now, please let me suffer from my stupidity.

Since I wanted to 'try harder', I'm currently going through Making Out in Japanese (it sounds crude, but so far it's been very mild and helpful)

I haven't been writing in Japanese, which is horrible, because what's the use of reading when you can't write. I tried making my own flashcards which ended up taking too much time so I turned to digitalised SRS instead, which can be both annoying and unhelpful sometimes. I'm not a fan of learning through the screen as it takes too much space on the table and plays a part as my focus destroyer. But I can't complain as these devices do make things infinite times easier for me.

For the past couple of weeks, I've interacted with more Japanese JAMs (that's what JO1 decided to christen their fans) and have made the effort to type in Japanese, albeit broken Japanese. I employed my brain, Jisho and the untrusting Papago and Google Translate (the translation sites merely help me check if my sentences make any sense). I bet they're reading my tweets and messages thinking, 'What the fuck is this person on about?' Well, I don't know either.

And here comes the horrible part.

I won yonton (용통 in Korean, basically a video call) and had the chance to speak to the JO1's leader. Which is awesome, yes? I had a week to prepare and that particular week leading up to the event had given me multiple heart attacks. Some dramas happened, an interview happened... and I had only a few days left to prepare. Towards the end of the week, I decided I was going to do 自己紹介 (self-introduction) in Japanese. I know enough to say *キラです。クアラルンプール出身です。マレーシアJAM です, though that sounds super awkward. What I did on the day was the exact opposite.

Well, it's a known fact that the leader speaks English. Heck, it's an open secret that we know he went to a school that had an English department, whatever that means. As the owner of this brain who've spent approximately weeks and hundreds of hours on Japanese, I think know enough to say those words. But what did I do?

I spoke to him in English.

Of course, like everything, it takes a while to set in. That evening, it occurred to me that not only I had spoken to him in English, I also didn't let him speak. I didn't let him finish his sentence.

To be fair, it was only for 30 seconds. I don't need him to speak, and I wanted to, for once, assert my dominance. (The running joke here is that he plays the character of a freaking flirt, and as a lesbian whose compulsory heterosexual crush is him, I have the inclination to get the man to sit down and shut up for once. I guess I did?)

It's not me if there's no faux pas. Anyways...

Today's the 290th day since I started using WK, basically the beginning of my journey to relearn Japanese. Will I be able to communicate at least on a conversational level by the time I'm 30? We will see.

If you're reading this and needs recommendations on resources that are free, hit me up!

またね。

#qila learns nihongo

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