#also why did hunger games get so much love but no one read Gregor the Overlander? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vineofroses · 4 months

Note

hi there! i’m reporting for nice ass(k) week!

i see you have shameless in your bio! i never really delved into the fandom of shameless but i loved that show so much! not really a question more of a statement.

what’s your favorite fandom/ships to write about?

another statement, im glad you are delving into reneé rapp. i adore her.

what are your favorite movies and favorite books you’ve read (in 2023, or all time)?

what is your coffee order? i love hearing other’s coffee orders!

hello!!!! thanks for these asks :)

1. Shameless : omg yes I love Shameless. If there's one thing to know about me and Shameless it is that I am a staunch Ian defender. The fandom is ... Complicated, I would say. Especially with gallavich. I'm not super deep into the fandom, but these are just some of my observations from the outside / writing some meta about the show. But I am always up for chatting about Shameless.

2. Definitely Carlos and TK. I'm delving into Red, White, and Royal Blue for Alex and Henry, but I'm also very excited about June/Nora in rwrb too. I am also a big Shadowhunters fan and Alec is one of my favorite characters. I've written one fic for that show but I want to write more -- Alec's headspace is so fascinating to me lol.

3. Ughhh I love Renee. I'm very early in my discovery of her but I'm loving this journey so far. Seeing Mean Girls the Musical on Tuesday, barring any heavy snow. Fingers crossed.

4. Movies and Books: Mad Max: Fury Road is my number one movie. Have a longer explanation for why in this post, but always up for chats about that movie! Then Pride and Prejudice 2005 is a big favorite too. As for books, Ive been horrible about reading for awhile. I used to read all the damn time. I want to get back into it, desperately. I'm reading Killers of the Flower Moon right now, and also going to start The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. It's been so long since I was an advis reader that all my favorites from like high school I'm not even sure would be my favorites now. Those were things like Gregor the Overlander, the Uglies series, Hunger games, the Gone series etc. current ones are like, Red, White, Royal Blue, some Alexis Hall books etc. but nothing lately that has really, really grabbed me.

5. Coffee order: I feel like I'm boring, but usually I order a mocha at a coffee shop. At home, I just use French vanilla creamer. However, I did just recently start using a French Press instead of a coffee maker and I love it! Could tell an immediate difference in my coffee.

#nice ask week

10 notes · View notes

zedecksiew · 3 years

Text

Kriegsmesser

When I received Kriegsmesser in the mail I finally googled "kriegsmesser", and found out it meant "war knife". Which makes sense; Gregor Vuga's ZineQuest 2021 project is a tribute to "roleplaying games named after medieval weapons".

I love Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay's piss-renaissance Old World setting. I tend to pick up WFRP-a-likes sight unseen:

Warlock (quality);

Small But Vicious Dog (yesss);

Zweihander (which I have come to hate); etc.

Anyway: I backed Kriegsmesser without really knowing anything about it. So Kriegsmesser surprised me.

Kriegsmesser grew out of a Troika! cutting. Its 36 backgrounds are compatible with that system: each come with a couple of lines of description; a list of skills and possessions; an a visual cameo cropped from actual 16th-Century woodcut art.

Cohesive and competently flavourful. My favourite is the Labourer, who always starts with "an empty pine box":

"You've spent your life breaking your back, working hard for other people's profit. You have nothing to show for it but a spectre of the future."

(The obligatory ratcatcher-analogue , called the Vermin Snatcher, is here -- check that box!)

Kriegsmesser also comes with its own ruleset. Hits all the notes it needs to, with lots of orientation and advice for how to run a game -- but ultimately super-simple, mechanically:

Roll d6s equal to the value in a relevant skill, look at the highest result. 6 means you get what you want; 5 or 4 means you get what you want, at a cost.

It's not quite a dice pool, since only the highest result matters. No opposed tests.

Kriegsmesser intends to have this base mechanic handle fights, too. The combat rules - with armour, toughness and weapon values -- are nested in an optional section.

For a WFRP-a-like, this feels like a purposeful departure.

Many of WFRP's most celebrated adventures are celebrated for bits that their underlying ruleset does little to support: the investigative structure of "Shadows Over Bogenhafen"; the complicated timetable of "Rough Night At Three Feathers".

Ludwig von Wittgenstein never needed a statblock to be memorable.

Not to say that lethal, hyper-detailed fights isn't super Warhammer-y. (Kriegsmesser includes an injury table, broken down by body-part -- check that box!)

But here it feels like Gregor is saying: "I'm not Games Workshop and Roleplay isn't an ancillary of Warhammer Fantasy Battle; we can evoke grim-and-perilous-ness even if we fork away from heavy combat rules."

It has become ritual for me to read my partner Sharon to sleep.

Sometimes I read her RPG things. The other night, after I read her Kriegsmesser's introduction --

" The Empire wages an eternal war against Chaos. Its priests preach of Chaos as an intrusion, something unnatural ... These men see Chaos in anything that does not buttress their rule. They call it disorder, anarchy, corruption. They say that to rebel against their order is to rebel against god and nature. That the current arrangement is natural, rather than artificial.

" Meanwhile, the common people look to the Empire to deliver the justice that they were promised and they find none. They look to the Empire and do not see themselves reflected in it. They look around at what they were taught was right and good and see only misery.

" Their world begins to unravel. Chaos comes to reside in every heart and mind sound enough to look at the world and conclude it is broken. "

-- Sharon remarked: "Nice one."

The RPG things I read her generally leave Sharon lukewarm. She has enjoyed a couple -- but, yeah: for many of these books, text isn't their strong point.

Kriegsmesser is the only time I can recall Sharon praising the writing of an RPG book without my prompting.

Nice one.

That introduction surprised me. It underlines Kriegsmesser's biggest departure from its WFRP-a-like pedigree: how it characterises Chaos.

Corruption, a mainstay of most grim-dark-y games, is made an optional rule, like combat. Explaining this, Gregor writes:

" Kriegsmesser partially subverts or deconstructs the traditional conceit of Warhammer where the characters are threatened by the forces of Chaos. In this game it is the player characters who are the agents of 'Chaos': they are likely to become the 'rats' under the streets, and the wild 'beast-men' in the woods bringing civilisation down. It's the Empire and its nobles and priests that are corrupt ... "

Describing the Empire, Gregor writes:

" The Empire encompasses the world yet is terrified of the without. It enforces itself with steel and fire yet considers itself benevolent. It consumes the labour of others with bottomless hunger yet calls its subalterns lazy, or wasteful, or greedy. "

Holy shit this is the first time I've seen the word "subaltern" in an RPG thing, I think?

I love this.

Rant incoming:

With every passing decade Warhammer abridges its Moorcockian roots more and more; nowadays it is "Order = Good" and "Chaos = Evulz", pretty much.

Gone are the days when chaos berserkers are implied to grant safe passage to the helpless (because Khorne is as much a god of martial honour as he is a god of bloodletting); Or that the succor of Papa Nurgle is a genuine comfort to the downtrodden; Or that Tzeentch could unironically embody the principle of hope, of change for the better.

As Chaos is distilled into unequivocal villainy, Order goons get painted as Good Guys by default --

Giving rise to Warhammer's contemporary problem, wherein fans are no longer able to recognise satire.

When I was introduced to 40K, it seemed pretty clear that the Imperium was a Brazil-esque absurdist-fascist bureaucratic state: planets are exterminatus-ed due to clerical error; the way it stamps out rebellions is the reason why rebellions begin in the first place.

Tragi-comic grimdarkness. That was the point.

Nowadays that tone has shifted -- and you're more likely than not going to encounter a 40K fan who argues that the Imperium's evils are a justified necessity, to prevent worse wrongs.

We went from:

"Space Nazis because insane dumbass fuckery, also chainswords vroom vroom rule of badass!"

To:

"Space Nazis because it makes sense actually, and also chainswords make sense because [insert convoluted rationalisation here]."

Even Fantasy Flight's Black Crusade line, which ostensibly offers a look at 40K from the perspective of Chaos, never truly commits to its conceit.

With prep you could play a heroic band of mutant freedom fighters, resisting the tyranny of the Evil Imperium --

But I don't remember Black Crusade giving that kind of campaign any actual support. Its supplements service the relatively more conventional "You can play villains!" angle; the Screaming Vortex is a squarely Daemons-vs-Daemons setting.

This tonal drift culminates, in my mind, with Age of Sigmar, Games Workshop's heroic-fantasy replacement of the old WFRP / WHFB setting.

Here's the framing narrative for AoS's recently-launched Third Edition. Let's see whether I've got things right:

A highly professionalised, technologically-superior tip-of-the-spear fighting force (the Stormcast Eternals);

Backed by an imperialist military-industrial complex (Azyrheim);

"Liberating" rich new territories (Ghur) for exploitation by a civilised settler culture (Settlers of Sig-- I mean, Free Cities);

Justified because the locals are irredeemable heathens (Chaos and Kruleboyz).

I mean, that's a sweet-ass Warhammer setting. It's contemporary, laser-guided lampoon. Except it is played totally straight.

In AoS, a literal crusade is justified as the moral good.

I think Kriegsmesser surprised me because its framing of Chaos -- as a promise, as the light of hope shining through cracks of a broken world --

It feels so fucking right.

Yes: its a subaltern deconstruction of the conventional moral universe of Warhammer -- but it is a take that is also already implied / all but supported in the various depictions of the setting: from WFRP to the modified title-crawl of Black Crusade.

I'm annoyed I didn't think of it, myself. Damn you, Gregor!

And I'm annoyed that more Warhammer fans aren't thinking it, also.

lmagine if Kriegsmesser's perspective stood on equal standing as the GW orthodoxy. Imagine if, instead of simplifying stuff into "Order = Good" and "Chaos = Evulz", GW did a Gregor Vuga.

You'd have a Rashomon-ed Warhammer, where villainy depends on perspective:

You are fearful villagers, huddled around your priest, muttering prayers against the wild braying coming from the trees beyond your gates.

You are Aqshyian tribeswomen, defying the thunder warrior towering over you, the foreigner demanding you bow to his foreign god.

You are a Tzeentchian revolutionary cell, desperately trying to disrupt a Inquisitor's transmissions so your home planet isn't destroyed by fascist orbital fire.

Get Kriegsmesser HERE.

+++

( Image sources: https://theenemywithinremixed.wordpress.com/2021/05/21/thoughts-on-the-4e-death-on-the-reik/ https://www.criterion.com/current/posts/59-brazil https://www.deviantart.com/faroldjo/art/Warhammer-40k-Black-Crusade-273596035 https://www.warhammer-community.com/2021/06/09/fancy-a-new-life-bringing-order-to-the-mortal-realms-join-a-dawnbringer-crusade-today/ https://www.nme.com/blogs/the-movies-blog/team-america-15-anniversary-south-park-2558750 https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Palestinian_children_and_Israeli_wall.jpg )

#reviews #kriegsmesser #gregor vuga #warhammer #writing #rants #overthinking #rpgs #wfrp

55 notes · View notes

shrikeofficial · 4 years

Note

📌✨🏳️‍🌈🎥💎

📌 how did you find your hyperfixation?

TUC: I actually found out about tuc after finishing the hunger games trilogy when I was about 10 or 11. I loved that trilogy so I was just HUNGRY for more good books and I really hoped the author had written other series that could hook me. Of course I saw tuc was ~for kids~ and had giant talking animals so I almost didn’t give it a chance but um. IM SO FUCKING GLAD I DID. Bc this series is damn BRILLIANT. Wouldn’t unread it for anything!!! I love it so so much.

Hanako: just found it recently actually!!! Right after episode 1 aired. I saw the anime’s art style and was immediately enraptured. Decided I would watch it even if the story ended up sucking bc the art was so gorgeous (and hanako’s seiyuu is megumi ogata). TURNS OUT I love aidairo’s art style even more than the anime’s (but they’re both amazing don’t get me wrong) also the story is SSOOO GREAT AND THE CHARACTERS ARE AWESOME SO I WAS IN FOR SUCH A TREAT. I’m so lucky....

✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?

TUC: there are honestly so many things I love about TUC. The characters are so lovable and dynamic. The plot is engaging and paced well. The story integrates lots of dark, important and deep themes while also being innocent enough to be marketed as a children’s book. You WILL be shocked at how dark it gets, I will just let u know. It’s so memorable and really leaves a unique feeling in your mind. The ending is one that I can never quite forget. But I think it really ended perfectly for the point it was trying to get across. (As painful as it is.) I could go on and on. I love the blurred line between “good” and “evil” and the very ambiguous characters on each side. Who is the REAL villain of TUc? Well I have my own theories, but you’ll just have to read it and find out for yourself. (Also, I love the progression of Gregor and Luxa’s relationship. It is so sweet and soft and pure and very comforting for me, and has been since I read the books when I was 10. ;W; ❤️)

Hanako: (I was first drawn to this series by the art, so I gotta just say that I am OBSESSED with aidairo’s art style.)

But I stayed for characters I absolutely adore, (all of the main four are my kids and I would do anything for them), and a really fun plot full of wacky hijinks, some time travel, fun comedy. And of course, (my favorite), an overlying plot of darkness, murder, and tragedy. I love the mystery of hanako and his past. The way they tease u with little hints and set up foreshadowing of future chapters and revelations is just //chef’s kiss// I love the way comedy is integrated through the story, so while it gets progressively darker, you can still have brief moments of reprieve and humor. Overall I find myself tearing up in one way or another almost every chapter. It really hits hard, honestly.

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

God I’ve got so many favorites I don’t even know how to choose. Also a lot of them are spoilers. So I’ll just try to pick moments from early on (like book 1 of tuc) to minimize that

TUC: Luxa’s entrance scene. Including getting out-smarted by a 2 year old.

When Luxa drinks the root beer “weapon”

Every instance of Gregor taunting Henry and Luxa. (I love him so much? He’s so realistic. I love that he has such a gentle heart but he WILL NOT let u mess with his friends and family. He can and will snark at u with deadly precision)

Honestly like every scene with Luxa in it. Luxa and Gregor slowly learning more about each other and coming to an understanding of each other’s differences? I.... love them so much ;;;

Speaking of, the scene where Luxa opens up about her trauma and Gregor thinks “he forgave her for everything in that moment. He even forgot why he needed to forgive her.” Why is he such a good boy? Anyway I’d do anything for them,

Hanako: hhdndndndmndhd like every moment? Uhhhh I love all of the moments when Hanako opens up about himself/his feelings. We need more of them.

Can’t say that one bc spoilers.... OR THAT ONE.... OKAY I GIVE UP JUST READ THE MANGA PLEASE

Also I love... hananene so like all their interactions make me tear up.

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

TUC: I have SO MANY headcanons. But I’ll stick to a few. I love African American Gregor. I’ve also seen mixed race hcs for Gregor which are great too. Also Luxa has ADHD. I’m certain of this but I forgot what made me so certain. Just trust me on this tho

Hanako: My autistic Hanako hc is so important to me omg.... like I would go down with this hc

I have LOTS of headcanons ttho. About random things like Gregor’s amateur family band, Luxa’s hatred of airplanes, all Gregor’s overland friends infuriating Luxa with Rick rolls, and more

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

A lot of the ones I can think of have spoilers so I might skip out DJDNDNNDNCJC BUT

TUC: Luxa’s name comes from the word “lux” meaning “light” which is so coincidental bc she’s the light of my life. (Yeah I’ve made this joke like 20 times but it still hits for real)

Bats run into each other a lot, also, so u can just imagine Gregor and friends constantly crashing into other bats.

I lowkey wanted to call Chillie (stray cat I’m feeding) “ripred” but Chillie doesn’t have a very ripred-like personality tbh. I one day wanna have cats named Ripred and Twitchtip

Hanako: I can’t really think of any off the top of my head that aren’t spoilers IM SORRY. But my friend and I did come up with a whole warrior cats AU for hanako-kun so there’s a fun fact for u. Yeah we’re the most valid tbh

#spoilers #just in case!!!!#shrike shrieks #ask shrikey #ask games #thank u udonnn this saved me while i was on the plane

4 notes · View notes

deadlyessencewhispers · 6 years

Text

Writer Ask Tag

I was tagged by @notanotherhour for this. Thank you!!

1. What is your favourite type of character to write?

Ugh. I love... I love the quiet but fierce characters. The ones who seem shy and withdrawn, but are completely not when they need to be. Or, the very strong characters who will oppose the world no matter what. This is like my number 1 character go to. Probably why my MC for Rising Tides are two assassins....

2. What is one theme in your WIP?

Rising Tides is definitely about responsibility. To one other, to the world, the ourselves. To everything, and that a lack of responsibility leads to pure destruction and chaos,

3. What’s one physically unique character you have?

Abby Loire is probably the most physically unique character I have in Rising Tides, she’s modeled after my best friend, and that woman is a klutz, but also has a lot of health problems. In Rising Tides (with her permission) those things are accentuated for a positive purpose, like a Druid trading the rest of her sight for increased powers.

4. What public places inspire you?

Er. None really, but I love looking at fantasy settings or creating them (like in Ethos) so sometimes I will look to other fantasy landscapes for inspiration. 5. Do you share your writing with friends/family?

I don’t all the time. But I do share a lot with @abalonetea.

6. Favourite book to movie adaptation?

HUNGER GAMES. I read that book forever ago, almost when it first came out and was in love with it. (I love the author, she wrote Gregor the Overlander and that was my all time favorite series for forever. and I waited for it to become a movie but it never did). But hunger games was great.

7. Favourite villain trope?

That’s kind of hard to pick, especially since I have a whole story WIP dedicated to an Academy for all types of villains.

8. Out of context spoiler for your WIP:

She is the key to saving the world from itself.

9. What’s your least favourite kinds of characters to write?

Snooty characters. I’ve never resonated with the snobby personality, and having tried to stay away from those kinds of interactions all my life, it makes it hard to really put myself in their shoes to write for. Plus I feel like I never really capture their character.

10. What’s one of your famous author fantasies?

I don’t actually get the question, but my fantasy is that I write a series that people love so much it goes on for a looongg time. Like FRIENDS, Supernatural, or the Office, or whatever. But something that people can’t get enough of, so I just continue to write for it. I’ve been wanting to create a short story series that mimicked TV series in nature. That’s actually what I hope to make Rising Tides, maybe even Dementors if I ever finish it.

I will tag..(ignore if you’ve done this before) @abalonetea and @wisedom-for-an-eye,

#WIP asks #writeblr #writer

9 notes · View notes

panticwritten · 6 years

Text

Okay, I’m trying to find the motivation to write and maybe I’ll get it if I complain about my maladaptive daydreaming for a spell. I started writing this in my journal and realized that it’s something worth sharing with other MaDDers. I’m gonna apologize right now because this is digging deep and I might come off as snappy or angry. That’s because I am angry. I promise that I’m, like, okay. I just know that I would have killed to see other people dealing with the same shit that I did when I was younger.

Uhhhhhhh quick trigger warnings because upon reading this over I should probably add these. I got kind of dramatic because I apparently don’t know how to tell personal stories without theatrics and tangents.

Unhealthy coping mechanisms

Direct suicide mention

Direct self harm mention

Have my truths about MaDD.

I use my daydreams to write. I think I post mostly about my positive experiences with it, I don’t know, I don’t remember ever talking actual shit about it so here we go time to drop the real anger and frustration because I’m just realizing why this particular thing makes me so mad.

I think I’ve been giving it a positive spin but that’s. Not the truth. There are so many things that I could bitch about when it comes to maladaptive daydreams to dash out those responses of “oh yeah I also have a great imagination i love daydreaming /stars in eyes/ i got distracted one (1) time during class daydreaming about summer for half an hour” to every ‘relatable’ MaDD post that makes me want to scream.

I love my characters, I love the stories I get to write, I love the exhilaration that comes out of winning a ‘campaign’ (if I can ignore the more negative side effects), I love Connor, and all (most) of the different versions of me. I still love all of those things. It’s like loving cheese and ice cream when you’re lactose intolerant, except you can actually choose to not eat ice cream goddamn it.

I could talk about how daydreaming sometimes leaves me looking up and realizing I’ve been sitting stock still and staring at the same line of a fanfiction for six hours while my roommate tries and fails to converse with me.

How when I’m alone and I start daydream I pace, compulsively clean until I panic because I can’t get anything good enough, type or write until my fingers ache.

How realizing that I’m not the person (people?) I am in my daydreams cuts me because they can do anything, but also makes me sag in relief because they are not the kind of person I would ever inflict on the people I care about in real life.

How I spent half of senior year hiding tears because I was juggling 3+ emotionally draining longterm daydreams in between school and extracurriculars.

How until I started wearing my necklace of keys and a ring, I would look up from the worst of the dreams with sores up and down my forearm because I would scratch it to bleeding without realizing it.

How in sophomore year of high school I swallowed a bottle and a half of antidepressants because my best friend wasn’t real and had abandoned me the previous year.

How I can’t be in the dark by myself, how the idea of being underground closes my throat with panic, how I wish for physical affection but I can’t handle being touched without warning anymore, how I see characters that remind of Count Olaf and my limbic system tells me I’m not safe, how the sound of those dumb horns every Homestuck cosplayer practically nuts over makes me feel physically ill. All because of the bullshit in my daydreams.

But that’s not what I’m furious about today so I’ll save those particular stories for another day.

So. I always end up having daydreams in the universes of media I get obsessed with. There are some things I randomly don’t daydream with but sometimes I like. Look at a thing I read when I was younger and I remember how great a read it was and I’m like “hey I should read that again it was hecking good”

But I know I can’t touch that series with a ten foot pole because if I so much as read a summary suddenly I’ll have another universe I’m invested in.

I’m talking expressly about Gregor the Overlander, but that’s just the surface of the problem.

I inhaled that entire series in 5th grade and that was when I had time to read every second of the goddamn day and didn’t really daydream all that much because like?? I had books why would I need universes in my head.

That changed when I started getting yelled for reading in class once I hit middle school but that’s a whole other thing.

But yeah, I read GtO in 5th grade and loved the shit out of it because it’s a fantastic series. I want more than anything to revisit it, to read it and write dumb fanfiction involving bats and flying and awesome things, but I know that would be a huge mistake.

Gregor the Overlander joins Percy Jackson, Maybird, and so many other series I read when I was a kid that I cannot read. Last time I read Harry Potter, I had a daydream that wrecked me for a while. I started reading Series of Unfortunate Events again and I had to lock the door to that daydream because when I go into that universe I can’t function as a human being because it’s the only daydream that matches (and maybe exceeds) the emotional strain that my Escape From Furnace daydreamshave put me through. I rewatched Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and around episode 10 I started daydreaming in that universe too.

I never know anymore what series will get me. Belgariad didn’t do it, and that’s my favorite book series on the planet. I know that neither Warrior Cats or Guardians of Ga’Hool would do it by some weird fucking instinct. Steven Universe didn’t do it, and that series is the exact kind of universe I would have a field day in. Same with Pokemon (except for the CONCEPT of the third movie, I guess).

Gravity Falls nearly made my depression rocket to worse lows than it had been in MONTHS because of the daydream it triggered. Seven Deadly Sins threw me into one, though to a lesser extent. Trollhunters, Be More Chill, Hunger Games, Homestuck, JTHM, Supernatural, Vampire Diaries, so many things, even things I didn’t expect to trip me up.

And that’s not even getting into the massive trigger that is music because I haven’t found a song that doesn’t bring me into a daydream scene in a long time.

It’s like walking on fucking eggshells.

It’s one of the things that makes me really hate my maladaptive daydreaming.

Like, I’m already fucked because when it pulls me in it turns me into a shitty friend, it gets in the way of school, writing, work, and hurts me because so much of what I care about isn’t real. It tricks me into hating myself for being hurt emotionally by the things that happen in the daydreams because obviously it’s not real how could it possibly affect my real life like this.

But I’d accepted all of that as collateral. It doesn’t matter as long as I have something to write about. I track my depression with how much I write so as long as I’m writing I must be fine. I can mitigate the damage and bend my daydreams to work for me when I really need them to. Coping mechanisms and tricking myself into daydreaming that I’m looking into a new target for the Scouts rather than researching for a paper etc. etc.

But I hate this because now I can’t even like things.

Whenever I want to read/watch something new I have to look at it really hard. I have to think, “Is this good enough that I’ll enjoy it, but not so good it’ll throw me into weeks of daydreaming, scratched forearms, blank stares, guilt, dropped grades, hurt feelings, and general exhaustion?”

I’m normally safe with certain genres. Tame rom coms. Most crime novels. Superhero movies/comics.

But then I read something I should be fine with and suddenly I have a daydream in the Fifty Shades universe so I have an excuse to slap Christian Grey in the face and go to benefit functions in an established universe with Connor. I play a game that I don’t know anything about and suddenly I’m daydreaming in the Two Souls Universe because the idea of Connor being a rift ghost tickles my brain in all the right ways I guess. I reread Homestuck because cringe culture is dead and I find a stack of SBURB discs in the Cube and I’m struggling to keep the daydream from moving further than that because I can’t, not when I already messed up winter term so much with my daydreaming. Not when I know that SBURB would mean creating more than one new universe to keep the Cube from being destroyed. Not when I know that SBURB would mean everyone involved would likely die at least once.

But at this point I know I’m just delaying the inevitable. I can distract myself with fanfiction and Grey’s Anatomy for a bit, but it won’t last forever. Everything feels like screaming in my entire body and when I know that the only way to make the screaming quieter is to find something else to write, something else to make my eyes glaze over for six hours while my roommate tries and fails to talk to me, I know I won’t hold out for long.

I love my daydreams.

But maladaptive daydreaming is about the farthest thing from being fun as I can think of. If the prospect of losing 90% of the people I care about didn’t scare the shit out of me, I would take any chance to get rid of them that was offered to me. To be a normal fucking person. As it is, all I can do is keep it from getting worse.

So I don’t read Gregor the Overlander. And I stay angry. And the screaming gets louder. And I don’t write for several weeks, praying the motivation to write will come back to me again.

#madd #actuallymadd #actually madd #tw: suicide #tw: self harm #not writing #I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A PIECE OF WRITING

3 notes · View notes

mycandylovefanatics · 7 years

Note

4,7,8,10,13,29,32,31,14,20,27,28 Kentin and Armin uwu

(Sorry for lack of posts recently, I’m dealing with some pretty screwed up drama right now and I’ve been in such a bad mood the past four days omg. Anyway, I added a few numbers for Kentin because some other anons requested a few numbers that weren’t listed so why not kill two birds with one stone right?)

Kentin

2: If they like reading, and if so their fave book

He doesn’t read often because it’s hard for him to find abook that he really likes. But he does have a favorite, and that would beGregor the Overlander, the main character is inspiring to him. (guys seriouslyread the book it’s so amazing omg it’s got like 5 parts and I cried it’s by SuzanneCollins so if you liked the Hunger Games you’ll love this even more in myopinion)

4: Their favorite way to waste time

Kentin likes to either work out or bake. If he hasabsolutely nothing to do he goes for a run, and if that’s not possible he likesto bake cookies, brownies, cake, etc. He’s also fairly good at decoratingcakes!

5: Their favorite type of music

He likes soft music like this, and sometimes he’ll am to theoccasional pop song.

7: Their happiest memory

His favorite memory is from military school, he made areally good friend while he was there and they bonded like no other. They kepteach other going through all of it and they were there for each other when noone else was. This is his happiest because he finally made a friend that hedidn’t feel like was only there because they pitied him or anything.

8: Their most embarrassing moment

In the game it’s mentioned that he got bullied before, soback in middle school or something he got his pants pulled down in front ofeverybody by this jerk that was constantly pestering him. He’s still planninghis revenge.

10: Their best childhood memory

When he was little his dad used to carry him around on hisshoulders all the time and run around the house. His dad would also let him puton his military clothes, and he would teach him some cool fighting moves.

13: Their biggest regret

His biggest regret is letting other people take advantage ofhim and taking what others say too seriously. He still has problems with thisbut it was really bad before and he just wants to let people know they can justrun him over anymore

14. Their biggest fear

The boy is afraid of heights y’all.

16. Their calming techniques

When he’s really nervous about something he likes to isolatehimself from everyone else and sit down, taking really deep breaths. He countsto 3 in between every intake. When he’s really pissed off this doesn’t workwell so he goes to a gym and finds a punching bag, or he goes for a really longrun.

17. How they cope with nightmares

He doesn’t really do anything to make himself feel better,he just kind of lays there and stares at the ceiling until sleep takes overagain but if it was that bad then if he can he might just go for a walk, even thoughit’s like 3 AM

20. If they collect things, if so what

I don’t see Kentin being a collector of anything but if hedid he might have been one of those kids that try to collect all the boy scoutbadges (he was in boy scouts you can’t tell me otherwise)

27. How they sleep

He’s a very touchy person if that makes sense, so he needsto be holding on to something. If you’re with him then he likes to hold you inhis arms and spoon, or lay his head on your chest like he’s a little kid. If he’salone he has a pillow next to him and holds onto that with one arm, while hislegs are sprawled out.

28. How they hug

His hugs a very warm and affectionate, no matter who youare. He doesn’t just hug anyone so when he does, it’s the nicest, cuddliest hugever. He wraps you up in his arms and hold you tight, with his chin at the topof your head. If you’re just a friend, he does the same thing but he doesn’t dothe chin thing and he doesn’t hug you as tightly.

29. How they express love

Did this in a previous post~ here.

31: If they found out they only had one day to live

He would spend it with Candy, and his family. And just tryhis best to keep them in high spirits. Later he’d like make an announcement to anyonewho bullied him and tell them off like he’s always wanted to do, letting themknow that he’s better than all of them. (I really dislike this number it’s sohard to come up with things for it omg)

32. If they were faced with a genie what they’d use theirthree wishes for and why

Wish 1. To become more confident in himself, because hehates how insecure he is

Wish 2. To be successful, all he wants to do is live a happyand stable life, and he wants his dad to be proud of him no matter what hechooses to become.

Wish 3. The formula for Nutella, he loves that stuff man.

(I just don’t see him wishing for materialistic things tbh)

Armin

4. Their favourite way to waste time

If he’s not playing video games of course, he really findsjoy in taking those stupid Quotev quizzes, like “Which character are you?” andhe likes making quizzes for the games he plays.

7. Happiest memory

You know what I have no freaking idea man…. I would say whenhe was adopted but we don’t even know the full story behind that sooo. And that’salso pretty basic… I’ll edit this part later if I think of something

8. Most embarrassing moment

Okay you know what, I didn’t intend for this to be NSFW sosorry if this isn’t what you wanted to read but I whole-heartedly believe thathe has been caught more than once jacking it off to some porn site by hismother or brother. His dad just knows to knock from now on but the other twodon’t listen.

10. Their best childhood memory

When he was younger he and his brother used to pull prankson people and switch places. I headcanon Alexy has naturally black hair so thiswas before he decided dye it, and no one really paid attention to their eyecolor until their mom found out what they were doing and called them out ontheir bullshit.

13. Their biggest regret

Hmm, well I don’t really know honestly. Maybe he regrets notgoing out as much as he should have. They never really spoke about their schoolbefore they arrived to Sweet Amoris (or did they, I can’t remember) so maybe hedidn’t really have a lot of close friends since he’s like, low-key an introvert?So he just wishes he go out there more I guess.

14. Biggest fear

Low-key afraid of bugs but would never admit it. Alsoreally afraid of losing his twin, I feel like they had separation anxiety whenthey were younger (me and my younger sis had that too omfg I used to crywhenever she wasn’t with me)

20. If they collect things, if so what?

He likes to collect figurines of characters for hisgames and shows. He’s probably a walking dead fan so he has all the figures ofalmost every character.

27. How they sleep

He’s always sprawled out all over his bed, lying on hisstomach but occasionally his back. Don’t expect him to cuddle with you allnight because he gets extremely hot while he’s sleeping so the most he’ll do isputting his leg on top of yours. He also cannot sleep without a blanket, so ifit’s hot he’s the “one leg out” kind of guy.

28. How they hug

His hugs are very tight and welcoming, they make youfeel comfortable because it’s just so nice. He kind of lifts you off your feeta little bit just because. They are also unexpected sometimes, like he’ll justrun up on you screaming your name and tackle you with a bear hug

29. did this already for all guys~

31.If they only had one day to live how would they spend it?

He would spend the day with his family and really closefriends and wouldn’t complain one bit if they forced him to go outside. He’dactually want to go out somewhere this time, to make them happy. He wants tolet them know how much he loves them all. “Alexy, I know you hate my clothesbut I’m leaving my wardrobe to you, you’ll make good use out of it.” He’d probably try to drag everyone to a comic con if he could.

32. Genie, what would they wish for and why.

Wish 1. To be a professional game tester, because that’s whathe does all day anyway so why not make money off of it?

Wish 2. For his brother to become whatever the heck it is he wants to be, hewants his bro to be happy y’all.

Wish 3. For all other kids who are currently in foster careor anything to find really amazing parents who love them no matter what, sothey can be happy

#mcl #mycandylove #cdm #as #Corazon de Melon #corazondemelon #amour sucre #amoursucre #kentin #armin #mcl kentin #mcl armin

112 notes · View notes