#and Dan is the only one who knows what he’s doing. I love episodes where Dan is competent they’re like chicken soup for my soul

[bumblekastclips]

KYLE CROUSE: Alright, we got one last question. It’s from JediPony. [chuckles] Love that name, I don’t know why. It makes me laugh. [reading question] “How would you write an 06 adaptation in Sonic X?” Here’s the question, would you write the 06 adaptation in Sonic X the show, or Sonic X the comic?

IAN FLYNN: [laughs] KYLE: It’s very— two very different things. IAN:Very different things. I don’t know, if we’re gonna be true to the source material, then Elise doesn’t really have a role, and Chris is the one who has the Flames of Disaster sealed inside him. KYLE: [laughing] Oh no! Oh! IAN: “Chris, whatever you do, you can’t cry!” [as Chris, weepily] “But why?!” [Iblis roar] KYLE: It’s all he does! [laughs] No! IAN: Oh, man, now I’m imagining Mephiles with, like, that really bad early 2000s CG effect. All these awful filters flyin’ around. KYLE: Oh, God, no! [laughing] This would be awful. IAN: You’d have, like, the budget episodes where Soleanna and New City are just, like, these flat, grey urban textures that have like, no depth, but then you get to the final episode where they’re doing the Super fight against Solaris, and the animation bump goes through the roof, and it’s glorious. And you forgive the last 26 episodes of your life that you’ve wasted watching it so far. KYLE: Mhm. IAN: [choking the words out through high pitched, wheezing laughter] This means Chris is the one that kisses Sonic back to life! [fit of maniacal laughter] KYLE: [frantic, horrified laughter] No! No! No! No! Ian, no! Ian! No! IAN: [prolonged cackling laughter] KYLE: The worst timeline! Oh, no! IAN: Oh, and Eggman has to be as close as they can get him to photorealistic Eggman in the Sonic X style. KYLE: No! IAN: Which does not work at all! KYLE: No, no, no! No! This is not going on the thumbnail! No! IAN: [wheezing laugh] KYLE: No, do not put this on the thumbnail! [laughing] IAN: Oh, my goodness, just imagine the art errors for Silver’s head alone… KYLE: Oh… no… oh, no… at least Dan Green could still be the voice of Mephiles. IAN: Oh, yeah, that’d be fantastic. [microphone glitches] That’s the only reason to do this. KYLE: That would be— yeah. Oh… IAN: Oh, would they try to hand-animate Omega? Or would he be like, early 2000s CG? KYLE: Just crappy CG, no! IAN: That you just composite into each shot… oh, man, it’d be awful! KYLE: [pained sound not unlike he is receiving a fully conscious appendectomy] Oh! IAN: Wait! [microphone glitches again] They did the weird thing with Sonic and Shadow’s spines when they would turn their heads. What would Silver look like?! KYLE: [resigned groan] IAN: Would it just be like, one giant spine, depending on the angle? [bursts into laughter] KYLE: [groans as if he is dying] Ian… what are you doing… why are you— IAN: [microphone glitches again as if resisting] The Iblis monsters would have the terrible CG effects, too! KYLE: Why am— why am I the reasonable one!

IAN: [laughs] KYLE: Why am I the one who’s being… [gives up on finishing this sentence] IAN: Forget the comic, the comic can’t hold a candle to this idea! KYLE: Oh, no… IAN: [in awe] What a glorious trainwreck! KYLE: What’s even funnier is that your mic is trying to stop you. IAN: [cackles] KYLE: It’s not working. [laughs] So cursed! IAN: The whole thing would be so awful… KYLE: Yeah? IAN: But then there would be, like, this incredibly well-written and poignant subplot about Elise dealing with her emotional trauma, and how Soleanna as a country even works. And it’s like, maybe an episode, maybe two that really gets into it and fleshes out this world in a meaningful and robust manner. KYLE: [chuckles] Yeah. IAN: And that’s it. That’s like— that and Dan Green are the only redeeming things out of this season. KYLE: [sigh, reading chat] Ian, in the chat… IAN: Yeah. KYLE: In the Bumblekast Discord server, open it up. There’s a little piece of art there. Someone has, uh, sketched Silver. [chuckles] IAN: [seeing it, delighted, evil] Yes! KYLE: [laughing] IAN: Cursed Toucan Sam! KYLE: [cackles] Oh no! Why do you…? No! Awful! Toucan— IAN: [as Silver] “Just follow my nose, wherever it goes!” KYLE: [horrified, amused] Toucan Silver! No! [emits the world’s most drawn-out, pained cry of defeat] IAN: Psycho-beak-nesis! KYLE: [laughing] Bumblekast was a mistake! IAN: [laughs] It was, but at least we’re over with it for today. KYLE: [laughing] Oh… I guess so.[outro music fades in]

EPISODE THUMBNAIL by the incredible @nintendoni-art

—— TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: Please remember that nothing that is said on BumbleKast is canon! It’s just some guys and their opinions occasionally spitballing ideas. If you don’t like an answer, you don’t have to take it as Word of God or anything like that. It’s all just for fun!

#bumblekast #ian flynn #kyle crouse #sonic the hedgehog #idw sonic #sonic x #sonic 06 #princess elise #silver the hedgehog #soleanna #e 123 omega #eggman #writing questions #Youtube

[thats-highly-significant]

Idk there’s something about characters in media who are entirely evil that I really hate. And by entirely evil I mean like has not a single redeeming quality. I love MASH (obviously) but Frank Burns is the kind of character who pisses me off because it feels like such a weak shorthand to me to make a character who is mean and cowardly and criminally bad at his job and has a loveless marriage and doesn’t have any friends and is a huge hypocrite and acts like a child and whines constantly and on and on and on…I just feel that there’s an implication there that bad people have not a single thing that is good about them and they live the exact miserable lives they deserve, and it’s such a boring black and white way to present characters. It’s like Disney movie storytelling where the villains are ugly and the heroes are beautiful. Anyway that’s why I think they did something so different with Charles—he’s still an antagonist for a lot of the episodes and you would hate him if you knew him irl but he has all these little pieces of personhood that show up every once in awhile. It’s like he’s actually there in a way that Frank never was.

#this is the most surface level character analysis but I was just thinking about it #because I realized that I watch a lot of sitcoms and most of the time I LOVE the ‘bad’ guy of the group if there is one #(Dan Fielding hi for the love of god hello) #but I couldn’t ever stand Frank Burns in a really visceral way #and I think that’s why…if you held a gun to my head I couldn’t think of a single thing Frank does in the show that could be considered good #in any way shape or form #and I think that’s so boring and honestly pretty grating after 5 seasons. Sorry Larry Linville ily :( #ANYWAY. All this is to say I just watched the episode of Night Court where they deliver like five babies #and Dan is the only one who knows what he’s doing. I love episodes where Dan is competent they’re like chicken soup for my soul #this is a long dumb post. please ignore

[johannesviii]

So uh

The Power of the Doctor surely was one of the episodes of all time

Where do I even fucking start

Let's cut to the chase, narratively it was all over the place in a "let's throw everything at the wall to see what sticks" kind of way. The thing is, it was fun. It made no sense but it was still enjoyable. Why was the Master cosplaying Rasputin? Why 1916? What was the point of the Dalek traitor? Why the paintings? Who cares, I'm having the time of my life watching all this shit 7,5/10

Why Tegan and Ace, for that matter? Because it's fun to see them again, that's why. I'll take it. Tegan was especially great. Also Ace wasn't a CEO so bonus points for that

Why was Graham even here

Why the train

Why the Qurunx

Why the uh everything about the Daleks and the Cybermen and no-one getting betrayed or in-fighting in the process

Why do I care

Dan's arc started with him having no money and ends with him having no house. That's kinda bleak for a comic relief companion

I don't know how to feel about Tennant being the Doctor again? It's weird and interesting and I can't wait to see what they do with this, and I find it supremely ironic that the Doctor who was the most terrified of death is the one who will get to die THREE TIMES in this series - but at the same time, I really wanted to see Ncuti Gatwa and I feel like he's been robbed of his thunder, kind of? I don't know, it feels weird

Considering Chibnall's focus isn't usually on character arcs I wasn't expecting Thirteen's ending to have any kind of dramatic irony, but having very low expectations for this specific era was a blessing, because one of the things I desesperately wanted to see was this control freak of a Doctor, who never explains anything to her friends, being forced to rely entirely on her friends, and also completely losing control. And that's exactly what I got here. Yes. Very good

The Qurunx assuming the form of a child because it wants to be protected. The parallels with the Timeless Child. Exquisite

And that bit where she's hit by a deadly energy blast and she's carried back to the TARDIS like this?? Complete inversion of the trope of the Doctor carrying a companion and I loved it

Oh god look at Yaz. Yeah that's right, you can only hold her while she's literally dying! That's the only time she'll be in your arms! And she's DYING!! And then you have to say goodbye!! I'm feeling normal about this

I've already seen quite a few Thasmin fans screaming bloody murder and to be honest I get it but like. I'm also digging how tragic this is

I wasn't asking for a kiss but like. When they were on the TARDIS' roof. I wanted one of them to put her head on the other's shoulder. Was that too much to ask

Pretty fitting that Yaz joins the circle of Recovering Doctor Addicts at the end after that and oh god don't get me started

The empty chair for Sarah Jane?? Don't talk to me

Is Ian even aware that regeneration exists or was he just like "wait so the Doctor is trans? Good for her"

WHAT WAS THE "POWER" OF THE DOCTOR WAS IS TO LEAVE A SHIT TON OF TRAUMATISED PEOPLE IN THEIR WAKE BECAUSE IF THAT'S WHAT THAT MEANT I'M HOWLING

Here's the Doctor's power! You all need therapy now!!

"How many Doctors are there" GOOD QUESTION NOBODY KNOWS

SPEAKING OF WHICH

FIVE SIX SEVEN AND EIGHT ON SCREEN. I FUCKING SCREAMED

BANTER BETWEEN SEVEN AND EIGHT ABOUT CLOTHES?? HELLO??? THE SURREAL LANDSCAPE?? ADRIC'S DEATH BEING MENTIONED IN NEW WHO?? HELLO????

Why is Ace apologizing to Seven when he should be apologizing to HER and why am I even asking. Who cares that was so cool

Eight on screen EIGHT ON S C R E E N how am I supposed to feel NORMAL ABOUT THIS I WANT TO SCREAM I WANT TO CRY

OH SPEAKING OF WANTING TO CRY

TIME TO GET EMOTIONAL AND CRINGE ON MAIN ABOUT A FUCKING IDIOT WHO SPENT HALF THE EPISODE COSPLAYING RASPUTIN FOR NO REASON AT ALL AND MENTIONING HE USED TO BE A FURRY IN THE EIGHTIES

I turned off Anon asks so if any of you want to send me a new round of hate regarding the fact I love that Master which apparently makes me a fake fan or a Missy hater or something, you'll have to use your actual usernames, cowards. You know who you are

"Johannes shut up about that Master's supposed self-loathing that's not in the text that's just your headcanon to make him more interesting" OH YEAH YEAH CLEARLY I'M MAKING THINGS UP UH CLEARLY THIS IS NOT IN THE TEXT UH

THIS MF'S ENTIRE BULLSHIT PLAN WAS JUST AN EXCUSE TO STOP BEING HIMSELF FOR A MINUTE AND BECOME THE DOCTOR HI HELLO YES I'M FEELING NORMAL ABOUT THIS

"DON'T LET ME GO BACK TO BEING ME"

"DON'T LET ME GO BACK TO BEING ME"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK FUCK FUCK

I'm not making sense right now I'm sorry

"IF I CAN'T BE THE DOCTOR NEITHER CAN YOU" I want to scream I want to punch a fucking wall why are you like this why. are you. like THIS

The feelings are indescribable and I can't put them into words right now and I will have to make some art to make them go away, I don't make the rules I don't even have a choice at this point

TLDR this episode was a badly written narrative mess and full of fanwank and Doctor Who is terrible and I love Doctor Who with all my heart and I feel more alive than ever right now

#doctor who #the power of the doctor #dw spoilers #thirteenth doctor #the master #yasmin khan #capslock #and a lot of screaming

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 8

Well this was a whole-ass SITUATION. I'm still processing, but another outstanding ep. The twin scents of audacity and desperation hung over this episode. Sand tries and fails to have any kind of backbone with Ray. Boston sits in purgatory and decides nope, hell it is. Cheum learns more valuable lessons about perhaps minding her own business. Nick might be moving on to Zaddy!Papang. Mew spirals. Yo and Plug break up. And Top...maybe set Ray up to get arrested so he could look like a hero? Everybody had the goddamn audacity this episode. Y'all went up for Mew's crazy eyes last week, let's see where the gworls are landing for me this week.

⭐1. Atom

People with self-confidence like you are very charming to me.

OH SIR! Talk about coming in hot! Atom's in an experimental mood and looking for somebody to blow his back out, so of course he thinks of Boston, and he's putting out whatever sauce he can muster to entice him. I gotta say, this is a wrinkle I ABSOLUTELY did not see coming but the mess is MESSING and I'm fully on board. Cheum is gonna LOSE IT.

🔺2. Boston (3)

Alright. I’m a social leper.

Well he didn't do a lot this week but boy did he make it count: his bitchface at Nick, who it seems he might have really started to care about; poking at Top's soft spots; telling Cheum maybe she should mind her own business; and just talkin' gay shit with Atom who is VERY into gay shit right now it would seem...every second Boston was onscreen was a second of perfection. ESPECIALLY the second when he decides to make yet another terrible decision and take Atom home and maybe give him what he's been sniffing around asking for. I mean, has learned not ONE goddamn thing and I LOVE that about him.

🔻3. Mew (2)

You take no space in my mind at all.

I haven't seen a classic post-breakup slut spiral this well executed in FOREVER. When Mew did the line of coke I gasped, and when he shoved his tongue down Ray's throat right in Top's face I SCREAMED. Oh honey, you're SUCH a cliché and I love you for it. Mew does not feel an ounce of anything resembling love or attraction for Ray, and he knows it, and he also knows the thought of him and Ray will keep Top up at night, so cigs, booze, yeyo and tonsil hockey it is.

⭐4. Daddy Dan

If you have a friend who likes old people, introduce us.

Papang has arrived, and he's playing the kind of guy who asks college students he's hiring to hook him up with their friends so...that's all present and correct. They love to cast Papang as charming but also slightly seedy and creepy and I'm very into it. Also, in my country there is a strip club/brothel called Dad's Dan so I cackled for a solid 5 minutes at the previews.

⭐5. Freddie Mercury The Second

I want no business with someone else’s boyfriend.

The only person this episode to exhibit even an ounce of self-respect. I salute you sir.

🔻6. Nick (4)

What should I do to earn your forgiveness?

Nick's licking his wounds and trying to get back in the game with Boston, but Nick having never met a boundary he couldn't trample has pretty much sealed that deal for now. As Sand pointed out to him: what was he even doing at that party, other than making a fool of himself?

🔻7. Top (6)

Are you really picking Ray?

Ok so Top's the one who called the cops right? Because they knew exactly who and what they were looking for, and his #1 priority was getting Mew out of Ray's orbit and back into his. Top's beggin' tour wasn't working on anybody except Cheum (who...girl. GIRL!), but he still managed to end the night in bed with Mew, so I guess he'll count that as a win?

🔹8. Cheum (8)

They're all selfish. They don't care about me.

GIRL. Your girlfriend keeps telling you to LEAVE THESE BOYS ALONE AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Now you crying on the couch and don't nobody care except your girlfriend, WHO TOLD YOU. All them boys one by one just telling her to get out of their faces...GIRL YOU ARE A LESBIAN YOU ARE ABOVE BOYS MAKING YOU CRY.

🔻9. April (7)

I know you’re worried about Mew. But he’s a grown man. He can take care of his life.

Girl aren't you tired? That woman don't never listen to you and now instead of having a good time you're feeling her snot seep into your chest through your (slay) outfit and thinking about how you're not getting any sex tonight either. SHE DOESN'T EVEN APPRECIATE YOUR ART.

🔻10. Plug/Yo (5)

There were many people I gave all my heart to. I gave them everything I got. There were many people I gave my room key to. They all returned it to me in the end. I don't want you to raise my expectations. And then you leave me too.

Oof, poor baby Plug. He just wants to live that househusband life but Yo been THRU it and ain't interested in going thru it again. I was surprisingly affected by Mom breaking up with Cool Stepdad, given how little screentime they've had, but Jennie's just that good.

🔻11. Sand (5)

Friends? You and I have never been friends from the get-go.

What more can I say about this loser? He's so embarrassing I can hardly look at him. Ray does not give a good goddamn about him, he uses him as a plaything, a servant or a punching bag as it suits him, and instead of throwing rocks at his ass and telling him to GTFO, he FIGHTS THE DAMN COPS who are trying to take him away. It's almost fascinating, watching this bullshit: every time I think this is surely Sand's rock bottom, he goes lower. We've got 4 episodes left but I'm calling it now: Sand is the most pathetic character on this show.

🔻12. Ray (1)

Let's hire a DJ instead this time. I don't want a band anymore.

OH MY GOD FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE. Does Thailand do 5150s? Because Ray needs to be committed as a danger to himself and others. He got everything he wanted and IT'S NOT ENOUGH, just as we all (I hope) knew it wouldn't be. And then on top of that Mew refuses his kiss in private but lays one on him in Top's face and it's like he just lost it. That ugly scene, breaking up Sand's encounter with Freddie II (shades of him doing the same with Sand's date earlier in the season), claiming ownership of him (told y'all) forcing a kiss on him because Sand's his property right? Ray was downright nasty this week, and not in an enjoyable way.

#only friends the series #bless this mess #only friends weekly character rankings #i support gay wrongs #only friends #only friends series #bl meta series

[devyuence]

another controversial take: every character is developing at the expense of topmew's

this is going to be an itemized rant and my thoughts are messy rn but sue me, i guess. feel free to raise brows but if you can get to post rants, i can too.

1. boeing should've been introduced episodes ago (not in the latest ep). as much as i liked raymew closure aka ray realizing that mew is not in love with him no matter what, boeingmew would have made even more sense. but then again, if we never had that raymew scenes, ray will not have that character development, progress with sand, and sand's character development.

2. as much as daddy dan (lol) is a plot device for boston to realize or act on his feelings with nick, mew's revenge played a part. he 'somehow' became apologetic, it's evident on his face during the confrontation scene, for stirring up things in his friend group and arguably starting to value things that he used to be so nonchalant about because he is moving away.

3. now that points one and two are established, can you see that the other pairs except topmew are progressing? not only their relationships but the characters are progressing, having arguable character development idk, or developing.

do we have the word "progress" on topmew as a pair?

do we have the word "progress" on top and mew as individual characters?

zero. nada. zilch.

it's like the writing team thought: "ah, in episode 5 onwards, let's develop everyone else except topmew. tone it down aka cut the scenes because people will hate them. tone it down because mew should not overreact in the burning of drawing scene. tone it down. tone it down until the scene drown and disappeared like titanic. tone it down until it goes down the drain."

apologies. i love mew and i am his number one defender but his character in the recent eps is stagnant and the latest one? ooc at that. at the same time, i feel bad that he is straight-forward and knows what he wants but becomes a stagnant character going back in circles. it's like everyone around him starts to have character development or redemption but he is reduced to, according to some viewers, an annoying brat. yeah, this is what happens when you toned down book's crying during his confrontation scene with top showing how he loved top so much as well as not showing more scenes that mew is really hurt and felt betrayed. he didn't have a proper breakdown aka crying scenes on his own but instead jumped on revenge era. the things are not grounded. people cannot sympathize with him because they do not fully know top and mew. they lack screen time to show who they are as individuals and as lovers. but that's just me.

what pisses me off the most is that he becomes a stagnant character and in the process, top is also hindered to progress. i mean, you know that at the beginning, i don't like top but he made his way on my fave list.

top was considered by others as someone without depth (at least that is what majority says no matter how much people explain top's nuances anyway). he is boring, bland, playboy, someone who is smug. i mean, when every character in the show gets to cry out loud and scream their hearts with proper build up except one or two, you will find them boring. book mew crying his heart out in the confrontation scene but was toned down? force top crying about him and mew at the silent disco while discarding the scene where he tried to find someone new but he cannot because he loves mew so much? like why are other emotional and crying scenes have proper build up and more nuanced but top, this is coming from a not-so-fan of top before, and mew do not have?

it's funny because top is reduced to mew's ex or lover (what are they anyway rn?), who (mew) happens to be reduced as a plot device for the character development or redemption of ray and boston, which had a domino effect on sand and nick's character.

ah. my lovely top and mew, especially my favorite, mew. i'm sorry that you are reduced to this which could have been fixed should people have more backbone and your characters have been thoroughly discussed in the writer's room.

anyway, i had low expectations on this show because as much as i liked the director, expectations lead to disappointment. now, im not expecting anything from this show. topmew is barely salvageable and is hanging by a thread. and if we don't see top's trauma next episode but more of NC scenes (i'm okay with it but to use it to appease fans is not), i'm sorry but... heh.

you know what is funny? for topmew to be based on real people, lovers at that, only to be reduced as plot devices and have a terrible state aka stagnant in the recent episode is peak comedy.

#ofts #only friends the series #topmew

[bengiyo]

Only Friends Ep 11 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Atom lied to Cheum that Boston forced him to have sex with him repeatedly, and his friends iced him out completely. Boeing showed up to be an absolute menace and it was compelling. Top and Mew are still doing this dance, and Mew has decided to utilize Boeing to torment Top. Nick avoided advancing things with Dan, and then reconciled with Boston. Ray learned that Sand wasn't taking his dad's money (which is dumb) and decided to commit to rehab.

"Move on. Move in."

Plug, please don't drink after Sand. You do not know where that boy has been.

Look at them messing with Yo and Plug getting back together to lull me into a false sense of security.

Top and Mew are so annoying. Just please break up already.

I like that Nick is being honest with Dan without over sharing. He's also not giving Dan hope. "I like you, but I'm not ready to be anyone's boyfriend right now. Let's just focus on work," is actually good for both of them. Dan is disappointed, but he knows where he stands.

I'm glad Sand is avoiding Ray. He's been called a whore so many times.

I like Sand's mom.

I know they better give Sand that money after all he's been through. I do like that Sand doesn't think Ray needs to completely give up alcohol, but he does need to manage his dependency.

I feel like I've lost the thread on why Mew keeps hanging out with Boeing.

Look at nasty4nasty working again. We've added another boy to Mark's counter and furthered the mission to add complicated layers to digital surveillance and blackmail in modern queer life.

Now what was Boston thinking there when he glanced at Nick when he said he knows what it's like to have a one-sided love?

Things are going too well for Sand and Ray. Ray still got Sand to do the community service with him. Something is going to show up and disrupt them.

Every time I see Mew and Top I'm just like, "Potion Seller, enough of these games!"

I'm glad Sand is pathetic for every man he was in love with. Ray ain't special. Sand is just like this.

We have missed multiple opportunities for a Mama Sandwich and I am despondent.

I wish we'd gotten a better since of Top's emotional interior. Force is clearly playing Top as sincere, and I don't know how much of my distrust of Top is past experiences with guys like him or the reputation he has within the show.

I'm not a fan of Cheum's reaction here to Atom's admission. On his lie, they stormed Boston's house and accused him of assault. They kicked him out of their project. They stripped him of his community. We can support Atom learning something important about himself and still make sure we let him know that what he did was foul. I'm so not into Cheum at all. I was not expecting to have so many qualms with lesbians in this show.

I really loved that conversation between Boston and Nick. They continue to feel the most honest with each other about what they are to each other. I love Boston offering Nick this little time they have left and being clear that it does expire. I like that it's a request, and I like that Nick didn't exactly give him an answer. Nick has been burned, so he's being more cautious with Boston.

I actually kinda want Top and Mew to work out, because the back and forth with them is the kind of thing you need someone willing to spar with for it to work.

Ray saying he'll pay anything for Sand as his boyfriend might be more romantic if he didn't always call Sand a whore when he got mad.

Well well well, are we finally going to get that threesome??

A fire in the last episode what the hell. Who is burning down Top's hotel?? Who isn't Boeing going to try to fuck??

I'm so amused at Ray being possessive of Sand and asking him to draw a boundary with Boeing as if he ever managed to draw one with Ray. Top and Mew remain so uncertain for me, and I'm a bit disappointed that Top will remain an enigma to me. Boston and Nick are the only ones moving towards something that feels sustainable. Atom can leave and never come back. I'm over Cheum.

#only friends the series #only friends meta #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

[scoobydoodean]

Amara: I can feel the love you feel except

It's cloaked in shame

I would like to know what your interpretation of this dialogue, as your more neutral,

I personally ship destiel so my interpretation was it was leaning to dean feeling ashamed for his feelings for Cas and possible internalised homophobia. Amara: I can feel the love you feel except

It's cloaked in shame

I would like to know what your interpretation of this dialogue, as your more neutral,

I personally ship destiel so my interpretation was it was leaning to dean feeling ashamed for his feelings for Cas, not having Cas return his feelings (that reminded me of J. A saying that he didn't think Cas/angels would feel that way, I'm summarizing) and possible internalised homophobia.

There's discourse as wincest shippers think is about Dean's feelings for Sam romantically.  And that's why its cloaked in shame etc

Or is it about the life that dean wants via retirement and wanting to do something else? Like the only qualm I have over this is Amara saying all the love which for me at least indicates a romantic undertone

Okay—so this took me a while to chew on (and I still am tbqh) and I want to preface this by saying nothing I'm saying here is meant to say this is the only way to interpret the dialogue or that dialogue can't represent more than one thing. But I do have a more neutral interpretation for you, anon.

Relevant passage from 11.13 "Love Hurts", where Dean is attacked by a Qareen—an entity that takes on the shape of your "deepest, darkest, desire" in order to get close enough to rip out your heart.

Dean: Find anything? (He turns to see Amara) Qareen!Amara: I understand Dean. Dean: Is that right? Qareen!Amara: the longing in your heart, I feel it too. Dean: (inching towards the knife) Well that’s touching. Consider that you don’t have a heart. Qareen. [...] Qareen!Amara: Who I am doesn’t matter. The real question is who are you? Dean: What do you mean who am I? Qareen!Amara: You’re a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except it’s cloaked in shame. When it comes to this, you can’t help yourself, so why fight it. Just give in.

The very first thing I want to point out here, is that the Qareen clearly perceives Amara to be Dean's "deepest darkest desire"—because it takes on her shape—not Cas's shape, or Sam's shape, or hell—Crowley's shape. If it was concerned with the love Dean was feeling for Cas or Sam or someone else deep down, I think it makes sense to say it would have taken one of their shapes—but it doesn't. It presents itself as Amara. And it presents itself as Amara because the Qareen doesn't represent love at all. It represents dark—often fleeting—desire that is mistaken for love. We see this in a few ways.

First, the episode opens with a wife (Melissa) and husband (Dan) going out for an apparent romantic Valentine's Day dinner. They appear deeply in love at first... but then we find out Dan is schtupping the babysitter, Stacy.

Second, while Melissa is out of the room, Stacy and Dan kiss, and Stacy says, "Ew I can taste her mom lipstick…" only to compliment Melissa's lipstick and act like she loves Melissa when Melissa comes back into the room. Stacy also urges Dan to tell Melissa tonight that he's with her now. Dan calls it heartless to do that on Valentine's day, and says he needs time.

Third, while it isn't caught in the transcript, I noticed when I was watching the episode, in the scene where Stacy is at the house alone, flipping through channels on the TV, we catch a snippet of "Rick and Morty" just as the Qareen, in Dan's shape, comes inside the house to kill Stacy.

Rick: You say it is is how it is, but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care and even I noticed. Morty: Come on, Rick! Don't talk about my parents like that! Rick: Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slow fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty.

Fourth, there's the question of who Dan even actually loves. Does he love Melissa, or Stacy, or neither of them? The Qareen takes Stacy's shape to kill him, which suggests he loves the babysitter, but he's also giving the babysitter the runaround and doesn't necessarily seem willing to commit to her. It seems more like he wants to have his cake in eat it too—get the benefits of his long-term relationship and life together with Melissa, while embroiling himself in a sex-filled affair with someone young and attractive, but who really doesn't come off as long-term partner material (thus our indications of his attempts to stall breaking up with Melissa). He also just... doesn't seem that broken up about Stacy's death.

Fifth, there's Melissa herself, who actually knows about Dan's affair but has kept quiet about it. The Qareen takes the shape of Dan to kill her, because her deepest darkest desire is for Dan to love her back. The Qareen itself is only appearing to all of them because, in a lovesick state, Melissa took a "love spell" from a witch that turned sour (the witch despises women who won't simply leave their cheating husbands, and devised the spell to punish the cheaters and the women who run back to them only for them to cheat again). Melissa wanted to make Dan love her again. But that also... makes me question if she actually loves Dan, or whether she just wants him. If you truly love someone, would you be willing to violate their consent like that—by forcing them to love you back when you believe they've fallen out of love with you?

What I'm saying is... I'm not sure anyone is actually seeing who they truly love. I don't think the Qareen can actually see who people really truly love. It only shows them their "deepest, darkest, desire". It shows them what they want at that exact moment in time—a fall into an illicit affair, a desire to force someone to love you back, or in the case of Amara, escape from captivity—from the prison your loved ones have trapped you inside. The Quareen captures—as Rick tells us—something fleeting and primal—just enough to lower the victim's defenses so it can rip out their heart.

Further, Dean himself vehemently rejects the idea that he loves Amara at the end of the episode, and there's a couple of things I'd like to touch on in this dialogue:

Dean: Honestly? You seriously think the sister of God is my deepest darkest desire? Sam: She isn’t? Dean: No! She can’t be! Sam: Why not? Dean: Why? Because if she is that means that I’m… Sam: Means you’re what? Complicit? Weak? Evil? Dean: For starters, yeah. Sam: Dean. Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She’s the sister of God, and for some reason she picked you and that sucks, but if you think I’m gonna blame you or judge you…I’m not. Dean: You know that I want her ass dead. Sam: Yes. Of course. And I know you’ve also probably beaten yourself up a hundred times over it, but where has that gotten us? (Long silence) Just how bad is it? Dean: Standing here right now, every bone in my body wants to run her through. Send her back to that hole she crawled out of. But when I’m near her, I don’t know. Something happens and I can’t explain it, but to call it desire or love…it’s not that. I’m screwed man. We wanna kill the darkness. We need to kill the darkness. And I don’t think I can. I’m sorry to do that to you, ya know, but when it comes right down to it…

First, note the sign blinking "Non-Consensual" through this conversation. What Dean wants to do and his actions when he's actually in Amara's proximity are two very different things. This scares Dean, and it invokes the the memory of Melissa's love spell—her trying to force Dan to love her. Sam points to a severe power imbalance existing between Dean and Amara—implies that anything Amara wants Dean to do, she can likely make him do, and emphasizes that this isn't Dean'a fault or his choice. We get other nods toward the non-consensual element of Dean's connection to Amara in 11.06—how Amara seems able to resist how enthralled she is with Dean and still blast him into walls, but Dean can't lay a hand on her. In 11.13, I think we also get a subtle nod to the non-con angle with Dean going out looking to hook up the first day they're in town for the case, even though he just got lucky the night before and it was clearly a rough night. Sam points out this is unusual for Dean. Imo, this points to Dean trying to reassert control over who he is attracted to and who he shows desire toward.

So consider: "When it comes to this [your attraction to me], you can’t help yourself, so why fight it. Just give in."

Second, notice that Dean is ashamed. This also isn't the first time we've seen this. Dean tried to kill Amara in 11.06 and couldn't. He deflected then hid it when Cas pressed him on Amara getting away. He reiterates the shame he feels here by insisting it can't be true that he desires Amara because that would make him complicit, weak, and evil just for starters. I'm reminded of Dan hiding the nanny cam, only to show Dean the footage of him punching a hole through Stacy's chest, pleading with Dean to believe that it wasn't him when it's someone who looks exactly like him. Dean can't control what happens around Amara, but he feels implicated anyway—he hides in shame.

For these reasons, I think the most direct reading here is that Dean is ashamed of Amara being his "deepest, darkest, desire," and I think it's also possible that talk of "love" by Qareen!Amara is misdirection—false love for Amara (fleeting desire for what she represents) mispresented as real love. Of course, something can mean more than one thing, and I think there's many ways to play in the sandbox with this episode and this dialogue, but I do think the chief thing they wanted to emphasize in this episode was that Dean is scared of his connection to Amara, and that it isn't his choice, but Dean feels shame anyway (so much so that he hides it until this episode). Amara wants him to give into his desire, and the Qareen also wants him to (so it can kill him) and mischaracterizes what Dean feels as love just as it mischaracterizes what Stacy and Dan and Melissa all feel as love.

#mail #sorry that this is long. #I also have some other thoughts I might add in a reblog. #11.06 #11.13 #season 11 #amara #dont objectify me!

[unclefathersantateddy]

what are your thoughts on teddy's relationship with his family and how they were abusive? what about his younger sister?? and his relationship with his ex wife where he was also abused by her �� how do you think these affected his personality and relationships. sorry this is an English essay ass prompt but im genuinely curious lmao i love analyzing family history (obvs)

Light coming in with the big gun from the get-go!!! Hahaha thank you for a great question!!!

So from what we know about Teddy's mom, she's a bit of a Wild Card™. Likes to do what she wants, when she wants, isn't exactly your traditional grandma.

But given the majority of people become docile with age (rather than more adventurous), it stands to reason /why/ she waited until retirement to do all the things she enjoyed? Could that be why her and Teddy's dad always used to argue?

Teddy's age places his parents as either dating or hooking up around the 70s/80s. Assuming they've never left the US, this wasn't exactly a pinnacle time for women's rights.

So we have an oppressive timestamp, a turbulent relationship, and then an extinction burst (Teddy's mom doing ALL her interests in retirement) post-breakup.

These factors together connote that teddy's father may have been restrictive/disapproving of teddy's mother's interests, hobbies, passions - or may be indicative of teddy's father's disdain/nonchalance towards his wife in general. (I'm assuming they were married because 'merica). Which would be an apt representation of Boomer relationships, the whole "can't live with them, can't live without them" (totally healthy /s).

But on the flipside to a potentially controlling father, his mom IS a wild card lol. If she's still up to mad shit in retirement, WHAT was she into in her prime?? Was she Fully Unhinged™? Given her, "muchness" (for lack of better words), it stands to reason it may transfer as "feisty" or "fiery" during arguments with teddy's dad, so whilst his dad may have been authoritarian, his mom may have been inflammatory and antagonistic.

As for his sister GIVE HER SOME GD SCREEN TIME!!!!!!! WHO ARE DANA AND DAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna see if she's exactly like Teddy or if she's his antithesis, are they both so interested in learning about the lives of every stranger they meet? That's beautiful bro. I hope so. I both want her to be an almost identical twin to teddy, and to look exactly like her bf Dan (like the Van Houtens in the Simpsons). I think I want Dana to have the spunkiness that teddy lacks. I love the "anxious older sibling, feral younger sibling" dynamics, like what Tina and Louise have. I want an episode where Teddy's in therapy talking to Dr Marjorie about his childhood whilst Dana's out back wrestling a bar fly for his teeth or smn. Same trauma but dealt with in VERY different ways. I need it!!!!!!!!! I deserve this!!!!!!!!! LOL.

Moving onto Denise, FUCK Denise. Fuck any single individual that makes you feel like you have to change your core sense of self in order to feel accepted and/or loved. You KNOW she's that slimy level of manipulative that easily gets her own way in every situation. The type that rarely gets called up but if you call them up everyone else around will take their side. The GOOD manipulators. Real piece of shit types. The type to push you so far into a corner you come out crazy. So crazy noone believes you and they all side with the charismatic one. (These people boil my soul into an angry black jus, I become one of the 4 biles). IIRC we don't even get a full line from her, I'm pretty sure she only says "teddy?" (But please correct me if that's false), but that's still enough to solidify her as a shithouse in my mind. Questioning his name like don't pretend you don't know or recognise him you shitcunt, he gave you so much of his life. Eat a dick.

As negative as all these experiences are, I do think they shaped teddy for the better! I mean, he is a lil anxious and awkward and doesn't have the best self-esteem/confidence. BUT, he's incredibly emotionally intelligent for an old white guy. He's SO full of love, for EVERYONE. Every single person he comes across or meets (as exampled by S12E4 Driving Big Dummy), he fundamentally enjoys experiencing. They're not just people to chat to, they are experiences to be had. They are characters you've never heard of to stories you've never read. His approach to people is polar opposite to how most of us perceive other people, most of us are like Bob, he doesn't /hate/ people, but he doesn't /like/ them either. Teddy DOES like other people, he REALLY likes other people, he put the work into his trauma so it didn't taint the rest of him. I'm not gonna speak on behalf of everyone with PTSD but I know for a lot of us we fester on our trauma and victimise ourselves, often resulting in self- alienation and isolation, teddy shows no sign of that. S8E5 Thanks-Hoarding picks up on teddy being a handyman so he can "fix" his parents relationship (simplifying), but it doesn't address the fact he is CONSTANTLY putting himself out there. Handymen are a word-of-mouth trade, to be a successful handyman you HAVE to put yourself out there. To meet new people is to be vulnerable, and to be vulnerable with PTSD is like a rabbit exposing its belly to an owl yknow? Throughout the entire show we see teddy consistently putting the work in. Into every part of his life, he's making the effort to improve his life. I know healthcare in the US is a privilege that only the capitalists can afford, but it is so refreshing to see an American go to therapy instead of just complaining about how much they need therapy lol (no judgment, again I appreciate it's a nigh impossible situation to escape).

Thank you for the incredibly stimulating question, light!! (Sorry if I didn't answer all the questions fully! Will edit or update later!🤍)

#bobs burgers #bob's burgers #teddy the handyman #uncle father santa teddy #bobs burgers headcanons #burger headcanons #burger analysis

[turtlesocksv2]

Liveblogging DFF Ep 2

It's time for Dead Friend Forever episode 2!

Ok I have to say this but it cracks me up every time i watch a Thai show and we get that little disclaimer at the start saying "we do not condone any characters/jobs/actions in this show it is for entertainment only" like what kind of 2003 FF.Net "Please don't sue me i am poor and only playing with these characters like dolls" ass thing to see in front of Mafia Dramas (Kinnporsche), Serial Killer hijinks (Dead Friend Forever) and fucking bittersweet adult midlife crisis vibes (Moonlight Chicken).

Top is absolutely losing it, and they need to leave poor Fluke alone. He is trying his best! What more do you expect from him?!

Oh, Tee is the first to break off from the group. RIP Tee, we'll see how that works out for you.

The mask the killer wears really is very freaky. well done, props department.

Phi the only one awake. I see you. I support you in your killings.

Oh I really thought Top was donefor there. Phi taking control of the group is so interesting. The way he leads everyone down what investigation paths...

Alright just what did you guys do to Non last time??? thank god the 3 newbies to the group are having a little sidebar asking that question. Clearly whatever it was was awful for the group to jump immediately to Non is Dead and his Ghost is Cursing Us and He Wants Us Dead Too for What We Did. But also, i think this rules out All Three Newbies working together to I Know What You Did Last Summer the group, otherwise this scene would make no sense. We'd have another Gossip Girl Dan situation where actions taken when they're alone don't add up to the reveal. So at least 1 of the newbies is not involved.

LOL at Tan trying to get Fluke to spill what the core group knows. If i was Fluke I'd be feeling very very threatened right now. "You think you're going to be next. I'm worried about you." and now Jin is being mean to Fluke too! for the love of god, Fluke is trying! just because he wants to be a doctor doesn't mean he can perform surgery in a cabin in the woods! Leave him alone!

"a good-mouthed and good-hearted man like you doesn't need to remind me" yessss. kill him.

lmao Por has old fucking floppy disks. are these people old enough to have used a floppy disk in their lives. but i know i've got old floppies around somewhere so it makes sense there'd be some at a like summer vacation house that gets used rarely. but also, did i miss that Por hid the footage last episode? because otherwise wouldn't the harddrive that had the footage still be in the room they were all in when Phi hooked it up to the TV?

Was that a mystery medicine bottle in the closet? 👀👀 yeah i'm gonna need someone who can read Thai to to screenshot and tell us what that says.

Oh i really don't need the squelching noises from Fluke tending to Por's wound, please.

Ok, that Por jumpscare with the balcony door got me. and How the fuck does Por have the strength to strangle someone when he's been bleeding out all night?! Obviously a hallucination or something but what caused the hallucination?!

Thank you, White, for bringing back up that they are in the Cult Sacrifice Woods and this might be a Cult Killer or have to do with the cult. a very important thing to remember.

I would absolutely be looking at that footage the second Tee and Top turned their backs, the fuck. No you don't get to act that sus about what happened three years ago and play it off! Phi fighting the fight to keep that footage intact and eventually seen. Tan trying to gently break the idea that the group was bullying Non to White.

oh SHIT the way Uncle Deng got fucking GOT by that wire i screamed! i knew something was going to go down because obviously they couldn't escape the valley mansion in episode 2 but jesus. fucking. christ.

Tee finally remembering he has a boyfriend that he abandoned to the serial killer lmao. Tee and Top keep almost getting away and then going back. they are being herded like cattle. but also, it's kind of sus.

No PhiJin and barely any TeeWhite stuff this episode, which makes sense in that they are busy they don't have time to fuck, but i do find it interesting that PhiJin seem to be on the same page the episode with like no relationship tension between them just situational worry considering Jin was literally biting Phi's dick last episode. Putting aside grudges to stay alive: i'm proud.

anyway that was a really good episode! Tee and Top are the worst. Fluke needs to get the fuck out of this toxic friend group. White needs to dump Tee and get the fuck out of this toxic friend group. Phi and Tan can kill whoever they want i support it. ❤️

#dead friend forever #dff the series

[shallowseeker]

Pamela is not just a complex stand-in for Dean's desires in 14x10, she sometimes speaks for him. AS HIM.

When Sam & Cas get into the Michael illusions, Dean immediately handles the, uh. IPA beer.

Ahem.

He looks strangely shy here, busying his hands, having something to do, eyes downcast. He flicks his eyes up lightning-quick towards Cas, but only for a second.

///

He's acting a little...weird. Fidgety. Looking away-ey. Keeping busy-ey.

Enter Pamela, animated, coming right up to them.

At the beginning of the episode perhaps she represented the stand-in for Dean's not!partner, but now she's a stand-in for Dean's words and his emotions:

PAMELA: "Cas! Sam!"

TO SAM: I'm glad you're back safe. S'startin' to worry. (snap) Don't tell Dean.

TURNING, more flirtatiously towards Cas and with the SAME Dean-air of weird bashfulness:

PAMELA (becoming more breathless, more bashful and strange): He'll...(odd pause, steps closer)...(shakes her head weird) use it against me (giggling, touching Cas's left shoulder).

Dean is oddly unanimated in the BG, 'cause Pamela is moving in his stead.

What's she saying though? What's the coded message?

"Don't TELL (HIM). HE'LL USE IT AGAINST ME."

This is Dean, trying desperately to keep a wall of what he loves away from Michael. Dean's mind is steely, locked down, but he's fighting hard to keep his true feelings as locked down and he can make them.

(Perhaps he's even been successful hiding some of his feelings from Michael?)

NOTE: Pamela and Dean both have dishrags. Pamela: animated, Dean: unanimated. They're one-to-one here.

Next:

DEAN: Hey, what're you guys waitin' for?

Now that Pamela's "gone more neutral," Dean's the one who's animated. (And they'll trade back and forth for the rest of the scene.)

SAM: (frustrated) None of this is real. This bar, Pamela-- PAMELA: Scuse me? You've never met someone more real than me, Sam Winchester.

Dean going silent, pointing at her like it's her cue to talk.

CAS: You're just a complex manifestation of Dan's memories designed to distract him.

Pamela turns to DEAN, not reacting to Cas, but ...almost like she's...waiting on words. And Dean almost like he's...thinking of words to say for both of them.

The whole thing is easily interpreted as Dean simply considering Cas's words. But a more fun interpretation? Pamela talking FOR Dean.

His eyebrows do the jumpy thing they do when he thinks of something flirty and "wowza" to say, he opens his mouth and--

PAMELA (looking Cas up and down): You really know how to talk to a lady, dontcha? Cas seems a little taken aback.

///

Why Pamela? There's been so much made of Pamela.

Dean picks Pamela for his illusion because she's a psychic; that's comfortable to him

She's tied up with his first meeting of Cas and angels

Also: He's literally being possessed and suffering the effects of angelic possession. He's probably feeling guilty about Castiel's part in the whole system of possession and angel kills, making his brain reassess everything he know about Castiel.

//

Communicating with Pamela:

He doesn't have to tell her things.

She can read his mind and talk for him. She's a lampshade; she's even visualized near lampshades.

Her dialogue is contrived and odd because they're often Dean's words and emotions and worries, cloaked in the manner and style he remembers of Pamela.

Not only is Pamela safe/psychic/all-knowing, her manner of speaking is outlandish and "free," allowing Dean to direct that energy at...Cas.

///

And there are some other oddities in the scene I really like, too.

When they kill the vampires, Pamela is shooting the "drunk one" in the heart, where Dean had just been standing.

Then Dean beheads "raincoat vampire (name per script)," splattering both Sam's and Cas's necks with blood, as if they've been beheaded, too.

There's some hidden aggression here, I think, especially when paired with Michael's taunts, because although negative feelings don't paint a full picture, they're fleeting...and often a little bit true.

Sam is a burden, as children are, and they leave you. Cas is obligation and he does make mistakes, as spouses are and do.

Dean's understandably a little bitter about it all. He takes the bad with the good, sure. We all do. But AU Michael paints in black-and-white without nuance or 3D shape.

Pamela shooting the drunk vampire in the heart is a nod to that sometimes Dean's feelings go unverbalized as he sacrifices on behalf of others.

That's partially, I think, why his happy place isn't the kitchen or a library or whatever. It's not family or home-grown labor. (He loves laboring for his family, it’s a love language of his fire sure, but this isn't about that. It's about escape.)

This is a small business that he owns and runs; he's sitting at a desk with paperwork!

He's a caretaker finally getting their own thing, even if it's floundering.

///

Pamela turns flirty again, behind the counter with Dean. "You guys got real messy on that ghoul hunt, huh?" And Cas tries to set the records straight. It's not from a hunt. It's from the illustory loop.

Pamela and Dean get silly and ignore Cas and Sam.

SAM: Man, we were there together when she was blinded!

(angel noises)

#meta weirdness #cause i can't sleeeep #spn 14x10 #spn nihilism #nihilism #pamela

[softguarnere]

Hi! I really love your writing. I was wondering if you could write something fluffy with Eugene x reader? He’s my favorite.

Avec Les Étoiles Dans Les Yeux

Eugene Roe x reader

A/N: Hello Anon! You're in luck, because I have been on a Eugene kick after listening to Shane Taylor's podcast episode 🥺 His status as one of the fandom's favorite characters is well deserved, imo (As always, this is written for the fictional depictions from the show - no disrespect to the real life veterans!) Thank you for the request, and I hope you enjoy this 💕🕊️ Warnings: mentions of alcohol, mentions of war

The night has been loud and full of excitement. All around Berchtesgaden, parties are carrying on into the wee hours of the morning. It would seem that rules do not apply anymore, as alcohol flows freely and the loot is collected openly. And, more importantly for you, love does not seem like such a thing that needs hiding anymore.

Love tugs on your heartstrings as you walk through the night, hand and hand with Eugene. It gathers in the back of your throat, too, threatening to spill out in sobs of happiness if you open your mouth to express it. The most you can settle for is squeezing his hand and glancing at his handsome profile, watching him as he stares up at the stars, his dark eyes full of them. Avec les étoiles dans les yeux. He squeezes back.

Throughout the war, you’ve had to hide this – all the love that has grown between you and Eugene. But now, with the German surrender and rules going unenforced, who really cares about fraternization? And who, if they saw you walking together, would dare to make an assumption about where you might be going together?

When you make it back to the house that you, Gene, and a few other medics have chosen to quarter in, you both freeze in the living room. The room Eugene chose on the first night is off to the left, and yours is to the right. Now you stand at a crossroads.

He lets out a little laugh as he turns to you. “You want to . . . ? Or I could come stay with you – but only if you want to, that is.” He adds the last part quickly, a gentle blush coloring his cheeks.

“Of course.”

You follow him, slowly, into his room. The house is dark, but Gene’s warm smile lights the way. This is the Eugene that so many of the people who know him miss seeing. Most of Easy Company only sees Doc Roe, the shy but resourceful and caring medic. But you’ve come to know – to fall in love with – Eugene, the man. A man who is funny and kind and romantic. Part of you wishes that everyone else could see him like this so that they could better understand him, but sometimes you’re glad that you have him all to yourself. Like now.

Still with a bit of the party in you, you spring onto the bed, laughing as the fluffy mattress absorbs the shock. Such a different sleeping arrangement from what you had back in Bastogne, Holland, or even Toccoa, for that matter.

Gene laughs, his smile carrying to his eyes as he follows you, although he takes a seat on the edge of the bed, calmly.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He asks.

Now it’s your turn to blush. You don’t try to hide it, though. You haven’t in a while. Eugene does something to you, and he deserves to see it. After all, he lets you see a side of him that most others rarely experience.

“Merci beaucoup,” you say, trying to remember the little bits of French that you’ve picked up from him during the war.

He nods in approval. “Tres bien.”

In the quiet of the house, you arrange yourselves so that you’re pressed into each other on top of the bed, leaning into the peace that exists there.

“You’re good at it,” Gene says quietly. “The French, I mean.”

“Well, I figure that I need to be, so that I can come visit you in Louisiana after we get sent home.” After the words have escaped your lips, you immediately regret them. Visiting Gene is something that you’ve thought about – perhaps fantasized about might be a more accurate way to put it – a few times. Although it would be nice to think that maybe he has also been dreaming of seeing each other after the war, you can’t be sure. Especially not when you feel him freeze beside you. You bite your lip to keep yourself from admitting to anything else, any more feelings that you assume that you share. Ice water fills your stomach at the thought that maybe this is only a wartime fling.

“Actually, I’ve been thinkin’ –“ His words send panic thrumming through your veins. Who knows where he might be going with this? “ – Would you want to visit me? All the way in Louisiana?”

“Yes,” you answer immediately.

“Because I was . . .” He clears his throat, like he can unstick the words he’s trying to say. Pressed up against him, it’s impossible to miss the warmth that floods his skin as he continues, “I was wonderin’ if maybe you might want to do more than visit Louisiana. Stay a while, I mean. Or . . . maybe just – you don’t have to if you don’t want to, obviously – come home with me after they send us back.”

Is he asking you to come live with him in Louisiana? Sitting so close, he would have to be deaf to miss the way that your heart is tripping over itself in your chest. This is more than you’ve dared to imagine in your wildest daydreams.

You shift to look at him. He’s already looking at you, his expression so open and honest and timid as he waits. You could kiss him, right then and there. That would be your answer.

“Gene,” you breathe instead, all the happiness from back in the street threatening to flood over again. “Of course. I would love to come to Louisiana with you.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. “’Cause if you don’t want to, we could always go to your hometown. Or someplace else entirely.”

Once again you take his hand and squeeze it. “Louisiana sounds perfect,” you muse. And you mean it. On cold nights sitting in foxholes, he used to describe the sights and sounds of the South to you, describing it all with such love and care that you could swear his words warmed you right up. There’s nowhere else you would rather go.

“I guess I’ll have to perfect my French between now and then.”

“We can have a lesson now,” Gene says, a mysterious tone you’ve never heard before creeping into his voice. “Je t’aime.”

This time you can’t hold yourself back from kissing him. You press your lips to his cheek, smiling into the kiss.

“Easy,” you whisper. “I love you.”

A bubbly laugh, so unlike the Gene that everyone else thinks they know, escapes from his throat. “Darling, you’ve already got all the French that you need.”

#this fic title is so weirdly personal to me actually lol #eugene roe #eugene roe x reader #band of brothers x reader #band of brothers #band of brothers fanfic #my writing

[respectthepetty]

Tagged in by @elizabethsebestianhedgehog @telomeke @wen-kexing-apologist @pandasmagorica (I'm missing someone. I know it.)

Current time: When do we roll back time? Today? Tomorrow? My current time is time is abstract, and I don't understand Daylight Savings.

Current activity: I just got back in from a Día de Muertos celebration the local funeral home was holding at a cemetery. Very quirky. Very small town. I loved it! Now, I *should* be grading, but instead I'm booking the hotel for a wedding I'm attending on Friday. I'm dragging my feet since I don't believe in marriage, but I'll show up in the name of friendship.

Currently thinking about: Why I'm into Dan x Shadow.

Current favorite song: I went to the When We Were Young Music Festival again this year a few weeks ago, so I'm fully in my emo feels, which means I'm listening to the most toxic songs like Bring Me the Horizon's "Die4u" with lyrics like "'Cause the truth of it, you could slit my wrists, and I'd write your name in a heart with the hemorrhage"

It's very Eddie coded. It has the lyric "I keep holding my breath for a miracle" which really just rubs salt in the Kiseki (aka Japanese for miracle) wound right now waiting for confirmation that Chen Yi is alive and well in this finale.

Currently reading: It should be students' essays, but I attended a lecture yesterday from Dr. Jody Shipka over Edible Rhetorics where she talked about recipes as a valid form of composition and technical writing as well as the narratives involved in them, so now I'm reading her book Toward a Composition Made Whole, which calls for people to move composition off of the page, and as an emo with plenty of Converse that have lyrics written on them, this hits me in all the right spots.

Currently watching: What am I not watching would be an easier question because I'm watching all the shows, all the time, but I'm about to rewatch ALL of Kiseki: Dear to Me before the finale because I'm obsessed with it. I'm also stuck on episode four of Shadow because the theme of "praying away the trauma" is really hitting my Catholic heart hard.

Current favorite character: EDDIE! All roads lead to my Multicolored Menace. He stole my heart in the very first scene when he said not to look back then tried to run away from Chen Yi, and my love for him has only expanded each episode as he continues to be the most colorful character on the outside in bright cardigans yet the darkest on the inside, just like me! If only he wore black nail polish with his chokers, then it really would be me.

Current WIP: I'm presenting on Polynesian rhetoric in a few weeks, and I'm connecting it to rap music since both are based on oral traditions and incorporate mastery wordplay even in everyday situations, but I'm trying to find "academically appropriate" examples since apparently "Pussy get popped, piñata" is too much for some people. *rolls eyes* Who knew?

Tagging no one because it always reminds me of MySpace Top 8, and I don't want my heart or favorites exposed like that.

#tag game #thanks for tagging me everyone! #Youtube

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 11

The end is nigh! Everybody takes a giant leap of faith in the mother of all transition eps, and we end on several cliffhangers of how those leaps will land Will Ray finally get his threesome? Will Nick agree to be Boston's boyfriend? Will Mew move in with Top? What is the actual factual deal with Boeing? WILL CHEUM GIVE BOSTON THE APOLOGY HE DESERVES? Last week y'all were split on who you were rooting for, with Boston and Boeing tied for your hearts. Here's the runners and riders this week.

🔺1. Nick (2)

I'm not sure I'm ready to be anyone's boyfriend.

So many boys to choose from, that's my baby. I chose Nick as my fighter from jump and that was so the right decision. Baby boy is beating them off with a stick, and committing to nothing and nobody in the process. He might be in love with Boston, but he's actually thinking about what 'in love' means to him, after the mess his 'love' caused. He likes Dan, but won't lead him on. Helping Boston with Atom let him see a version of his own feelings and actions that have made him a bit contemplative it feels like, and I'm curious to see what decisions he actually makes in the finale.

🔺2. Boston (3)

But you might be my exception.

Speaking of contemplation, Boston is definitely calibrating and rethinking some of his basic assumptions about life and people. Atom is an avatar of how and why Boston probably landed on his 'I HATE DRAMA' train, while Nick is an avatar of 'oh, I might have conflated people's feelings with 'drama' when they aren't quite the same thing'. He wants to maybe try monogamy, and you know what, that's his right, and he feels safe to try it with Nick. I have a lot of thoughts about how much Boston must trust Nick to take that leap, even on a short-term/trial basis, and I love the nuance in how this has been written.

🔺3. Yo (and Plug) (10)

I should protect my heart first, shouldn't I?

MOM AND COOL STEPDAD ARE BACK TOGETHER! This has been a very tight runner, but I love it. I love that Plug was able to take a deep breath and swallow his hurt over Yo wanting to protect herself. I love that Yo was able to step outside of herself and take a leap of faith that Plug does love her. Using Yo and Plug as a thematic reinforcer has been effective for me, and I hope we get to see them one last time in the finale.

🔺4. Top (8)

I'm gonna make you love me even more.

Force has been doing a thankless job incredibly well playing Top. When I tell y'all I know Tops, big dick swinging Big Men On Campus, Roc Nation Brunch types, successful on the outside but a total mess within, looking for a saviour, convinced that this One Thing or One Person, if they could just get them, it would mean that they're winners and not the losers they have nightmares about being...and Force is playing that so well. The other thing about these types is that the hole inside they're trying to fill is always an empty space, no matter who or what they try to stuff in there. There will always be a next thing that could save them. I've legit never seen this type portrayed this well on screen, and I look forward to seeing where he lands because he could literally go either way.

🔹5. Sand (5)

Well, someone who's completely my type dumped me for someone else.

YES SAND SPEND THAT MAN'S MONEY THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU ALL ALONG! If he's going to call you a whore whenever he gets mad at you, and you're gonna accept that and forgive him every time, at least reap some goddamn benefits. On the other side of things, we see that Sand's simpness is not confined to Ray; this is just what he's like when he falls for somebody. Boeing reappearing makes that clear. That man cheated and dumped him and he still can't send him packing when he turns up again. 'We can be friends' NO YOU FUCKING CAN'T GUY, THAT MUCH IS OBVIOUS.

🔹6. Mew (6)

You asked for a chance and I gave it to you.

As I said earlier this week, there's nothing wrong with Mew that couldn't be solved by giving him a pair of stilettos and a flogger, and I stand by that. Mew is struggling so hard with the feeling that he has somehow lost, and it's making him lowkey crazy. Top abasing himself and Mew getting to punish him would go a long way to making these two work, if that's what they want. Sometimes kink is 100% the answer to a complicated relationship, and these two are COMPLICATED. So much ego and image is wrapped up in these two's expectations of each other, they are never actually vulnerable, even when performing vulnerability. But one thing kink absolutely requires is vulnerability. I'm voting for Mew to realise his dom desires before the end.

🔹7. Ray (7)

If you say so, then I won't be jealous.

Ray makes a valiant attempt at proper boyfriendism this ep, and it's actually pretty effective...right up until he's faced with the prospect that Sand's squishy centre is more about who Sand is than it is about Ray being extra special somehow. Sand's mom told him: this is how he is with people he cares about. So when somebody Sand clearly cares/cared about, Boeing, shows up, Ray gets a front row seat and he doesn't like the view. How he handles what happens next is gonna tell us whether or not Ray has learned a goddamn thing.

🔻8. Boeing (1)

I just want to be with someone tonight.

There's a definite pattern to the rankings at this point, in that a character hitting the #1 is doomed to take a nosedive in the next ep, and Boeing is no exception. His game remains unclear at this point, but he does give the sense of having had plan A fail and moving on to plan B, taking a not-unrealistic leap of faith that Sand will allow him back into his life. This show has been pretty good about writing real people not cartoon villains, so I'm pretty sure Boeing's got his own human story animating his actions, and I'm curious to find out what it is.

🔺9. Atom (10)

He didn't do anything to me.

Well he apologised and told the truth in the end, even if he had to be threatened to do it, that counts for something...

🔻10. Cheum (9)

What did he do to you this time?

...but if she doesn't apologise for the fucked up things she said to Boston I'm gonna lose it I swear.

#only friends the series #bless this mess #only friends weekly character rankings #i support gay wrongs #only friends #only friends series #bl meta series

[athousandbyeol]

episode 8 stray thoughts

i can't stop cussing at mew and ray because good Lord, what the hell?

it's so ironic how mew insists he's leading a happier life without top when it's the exact opposite. it's also saddening to me how mew downgrades himself to the lowest of lows and thinks he's mighty and high and doing well emotionally when he isn't. it's just so not mew and i kind of understand that— but still, as much as it hurts top, mew is the one hurting the most in this. the jokes are on him, honestly. he's the one shattering.

and i love how top undresses mew— it's the first time he has ever done that. even when they had sex, they never undressed each other. but this moment right here kind of justifies that top sees mew beyond sex— top just really loves mew. and he's there to take care of him. he's there to exist for mew— even if he is no longer wanted. i'm going to pretend that top didn't say it was okay if he didn't get to be with mew in the end. that didn't hurt me one bit (i was choking on my own saliva because that killed me for real).

honestly, i'm so mad at ray. he... please don't make sand your second option. please don't toy with his feelings. i can't handle that, really. it's about freaking time you realise mew doesn't— and will never— love you that way. wake the f up, ray. please.

chuem, honest to God, thanks for knocking some senses in their heads. they really need this wake up call because no one is effing sober in this household but you and april. (and i kind of like this chuem/top friendship. i think she knows top's feelings for mew are genuine. i'm glad someone actually sees through top's feelings other than us the audience). if not, i'm going to bawl my eyes out because it's so obvious that top loves mew more than anything at this point...)

boston, really, are you going to be like this until the end? i wonder if something's going to happen to him? because i'm seriously rooting for nick and phi dan now... but i think atom will end up crying? does it have to do with boston? will he sleep with boston and end up being just like nick? will atom think he's special in boston's life? goodness. good luck then, atom. (and phi dan freaking ask nick to call him daddy dan. Lord. i died.)

chuem and april! i love you both. thank you so much. april, you're the best girlfriend ever. always level-headed and calm. it's so nice to see women characters not being interpreted as messy or emotional. (because ofts is where the guys are a mess of feelings and just very volatile). wonderful.

that little moment between mew and top though. "why do you have to be an asshole, top?" i just want them to talk things out because you can't convince me mew doesn't love top still. top is the only person in his head 25/8. and it breaks my heart how comfortable top and mew look together, lying on the same bed, sharing body heat. the look of contentment on mew's face as top embraced him from behind, and the fear in top's eyes because God knows if this is only for the night and not for tomorrow. i think top can't sleep at night. imagine how devastating that is. and how liberating it feels to be with someone who helps him sleep better. i'm crying.

i don't know where topmew's story is going, but i'm glad sand is just honest with his feelings. i hope that will help ray realise the person he loves is sand and not mew. i really want to see sand and ray together. sand deserves to be happy. ray too.

and please, top, don't give up on mew, okay? i know it's like going back to square one, but if you really love mew, please don't surrender too soon. mew will eventually come back— because only you can save him top. only you can save mew.

#only friends #only friends the series #only friends series #topmew #sandray #bostonnick #aprilchuem #ofts #book kasidet #force jiratchapong #forcebook #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #firstkhaotung #neo trai #mark pakin #neomark #lookjun bhasidi #nonnie pitchaporn #stray thoughts #i honestly have so much to say about mew but i don't have the energy to write an extensive discussion #but please mew. you're breaking my heart #if you're my friend; i'll despise you #while i cry for you #because good God you can't keep hurting yourself like this #anyway #sorry for this thought vomit #na rambles #na discusses

[dumbfilmstudent]

Watching a 14 year old 8th grader

Things I have been told/asked:

She showed me EVERY Pokémon and made me judge them and then told me I was wrong about every single one

Why Luka is a better boyfriend than Adrien Agreste (thankfully something I could understand)

Made me explain the entire plot of Steven Universe bc she saw one episode but couldn’t find the rest

That she is in love with a Splatoon character

Explained the full Five Nights at Freddie’s Lore (maybe better than MatPat who, by the way, she has no idea who he is)

Asked me about those Urban Legend Horror games like Bloody Mary and the Elevator game and then proceeded to have to sleep with every light on bc she was scared

Told me she doesn’t swear and doesn’t respect people who swear and that she has cut off friends who swear. I have to apologize every time I accidentally curse because of this.

She had me read 14 pokemon ffs on fanfiction.net to make sure there wasn’t any adult content.

In that same vein told me that she had learned how to use ao3 filters (something I had accidentally taught her how to do last time I watched her)

Asked me if I knew what Dokidoki literature club is and made me read 5 of those fanfictions too to make sure there was no adult content (there obviously was. How she ended up in dokidokiliterature is beyond me. She said it was because she is in love with Monika)

Made me read the ao3 ship stats and then asked me about every single fandom/show etc

Quick rundown of what she said when I explained them: Hannibal “remind me never to watch that”, Harry Potter “no one even cares about Harry Potter. Is Dumbledore gay?”, Supernatural “why are ppl shipping brothers” and then I explained destiel and how he got sent to hell and then she got mad at me for saying Hell, 911 “why does 911 have a fandom? People being hurt isn’t funny” I had to pick around a bit but realized she thought that 911 emergency calls were being made into fanfiction, BTS “who even are these people”, My Hero Academia “an anime? I don’t watch it. Is there any Comiket Communicate in the top ten?”, MCR “what’s that” I showed her some music and mvs “why do people like this it’s weird” to which I explained ppl were emo bc I didn’t know how else to explain and she said “my friend is a tall and skinny emo” and then wandered off

Made fun of me for thinking 53 degrees was cold. (We live in California. It is cold)

A dream she had where her friends are baking cookies but her one friend who she calls her little brother climbed into the oven

The fact that her friend group play house and she is the oldest sister

While roleplaying as a family they also roleplay that they can all turn into Eevees (this is not a one time game. They have done this for three years)

Asked me why there are so many fanfictions about BTS because she doesn’t understand how ppl can ship real people

While I was trying to explain it I accidentally mentioned the Dan and Phil real people shipping problem and she proceeded to ask me about who they are. I tried to be vague but she kept asking questions until I explained their whole online career.

Asked me what Doctor Who was and what he was a Doctor in.

Made me watch Friday Night Funkin modded videos for what felt like six hours and then had me watch her play animal crossing.

Told me that boyfriend from Friday night funkin was not good enough for girlfriend and that girlfriend should be with Sky from the Sky Mod (I don’t know what these words mean but I’m sure I agree)

Explained an Eevee YouTube fanfiction series in its entirety.

Wandered back and forth across the living room in front of me listening to music in headphones breathing incredibly loudly making me incredibly overstimulated (she’s got a cold it’s not her fault)

Explained her entire friend groups sexuality, gender and pronouns, mental illness, and the Eevee evolution they are when the rp.

Btw the first time I met her she asked me if I had ever had a fictional crush, I said yes, and she said “I only have girl fictional crushes” which through her mother for a loop she told me later, not bc she’s homophobic (she’s literally a lesbian) but because she had never met me before and was surprised how open she was around me.

Today proceeded to try to explain the nuances of bisexuality vs pansexualty. She has never been on tumblr or twitter but was definitely aware of the arguments.

Asked me what one direction is

Got mad that I named a character in a Pilot for a college film class after a girl who is her friend at a math tutoring place who I of course have never met and then yelled at me until I changed the name. I didn’t but she doesn’t know that.

Told me I need to vacuum my car. I do.

Handed me a warhead and watched me eat it with the most malicious look on her face as though she was tricking me or something.

Cooked all of her meals by herself, gets up and leaves for school on her own, does all her hw immediately, doesn’t swear, let’s the dog out every morning. Literally the most self sufficient child I have ever met (was able to do all of this three years ago when I started watching her) the only reason I’m here is in case of a freak accident or because she freaks herself out at night at can’t sleep.

Then she puts the pot she used to cook pasta on the floor for the dog to lick up…

Asked me what pecan pie is

#babysitting #the kids are alright #adventures in babysitting #fandom #one direction #9 1 1 fandom #supernatural #five nights at freddy's #friday night funkin #miraculous ladybug

[hooked-on-elvis]

🥳 Happy Birthday to beautiful Jan Shepard! 🎂

Born Josephine Angela Sorbello on March 19, 1928, Jan is turning 96 years young today. ♥

Jan Shepard interviewed by Joe Krein (2007)

Joe: Can you tell me a little about yourself, where you were born and raised? Jan: I was born in a little town called Quakertown, Pennsylvania, in Bucks County. It’s about 40 miles north of Philadelphia. I had a wonderful time there growing up, it was a tiny little town and everybody knew everybody. You got to do everything when you were in high school. I was a cheerleader and a drum majorette. I was in drama. I loved growing up there.

(...)

Joe: Did you want to become an actress? Jan: Ever since I was in second grade I was Miss Cleanliness, in a way. I got up on that stage and something happened. I saw all those people and it made me want to do something nice. So I did two class plays. I did junior high and senior class plays as the leading lady. I did summer stock when I got out of high school. I did that for quite a while and that was great fun. Joe: So did you go to Hollywood and say “I want to be a star”? Jan: I went to New York first and I got a terrible cold. I had gotten a reference from Samson Raferson, who did a lot of plays. He lived in our area. He sent me to Sherill Crawford doing Brigadoon. So I went there and I could barely talk. You think to yourself once they see you that you would be in Broadway by the weekend. You just think that they are waiting for you. But she said go back home and do summer stock. Do as much as you can of that. It was one of those things that you are so eager and you had no clue as of how to become an actor. So I went back home and then I had a chance to visit some relatives in California. So I never went back to New York. Joe: So what studio did you sign up with? Jan: I did some things with 20th Century, but mostly I did television like ABC, CBS and then Paramount. So I was working all the time. The kids that were under contract with Paramount, they had a class picture taken, and I wasn’t in it because I was the only one working. Will never forget that. How I wish I was in that picture. Joe: You must see a lot of turn over, kids coming and then going home. Jan: Yeah. You know there is a lot of wonderful talent walking the street, and honestly it’s a matter of luck. Plus it helps with who you know. What helped me was I moved in with Amanda Blake from Gun Smoke. We shared an apartment and Ross Hunter had an apartment in the same building. I was working a regular job then. We would walk together in the morning to work. There was an agent that also lived in the building. I was out sunning myself one day and he came over and started talking. He said, “Do you need an agent?” I said yes. That’s how it all started. Quite by accident. Joe: You worked in television? Jan: About 500 episodes. I did so much television. I did so many pilots and series. One of my first series was with McDonald Carrie, who was Doctor Christian. I was a regular on that show. I did two soap operas. Day in Court and Clear Horizons. I did so many Westerns. Every show that was in the fifties and sixties, seventies. At least five hundred television shows.

(...)

Joe: Were you an Elvis fan? Jan: No (laughing). Joe: Don’t feel bad, a lot of people have said that to me. Jan: It was so funny because I was sitting with Dan Duriah. I was doing a two hour film. We were sitting on the set. I had the reporter in front of me and it said “ELVIS PRESLEY”. “What kind of a name is that?” He said, “I don’t know.” I said there’s some kid in the south called Elvis Presley. I said he’s never going to make it (laughing). That was the first time that I had ever heard of him. So I didn’t know who he was. I happened to like his voice. I liked his voice but I am not the kind of person who is adoring movie stars. There was maybe one or two that I adored or would like to work with, but I was never like those type of people. But once I met him, I just adored him. Joe: When did you find out that you were going to do an Elvis film? Jan: I was doing a play at Paramount, with Dolores Hart, who is my goddaughter. She is now a nun. Joe: Oh, yes, I know who she is. Jan: She used to be under contract with Hal Wallis. Dolores came up to me after work. She said, “Jan, there is a part in this movie I am going to do with Elvis Presley you would be perfect for. The part would be playing his sister.” I said, “Yeah, right, terrific.” I just let it go at that. But the next thing I know she calls me and says Hal Wallis wants to see you. “I’ve talked to him about you.” So I went up there. He said to me, “I would like you to make a test.” So they gave me the script. When I arrived at the studio, there was four other girls that were testing. I figured I would be the only one. I was in shock, I almost walked out. Peter Baldwin, who was playing the Elvis role, who was a friend of mine, he said, “Stay, stay. These other girls are no way better than you.” I was the last one to be tested. After I just went home and prayed that I would get this role. I got it!

Elvis, Jan and Dolores Hart on set during making of King Creole, 1958.

Joe: And this was for...? King Creole! That was Elvis’s favorite movie. Plus it’s the fans favorite movie. It’s also mine. Jan: Yes, it’s mine, too. But I have only seen two movies of his. I only saw them because I was in them. That’s nothing to do with Elvis. It’s just because I was working all the time. I was doing soap operas. Different scripts every day, learning new lines every day. You just don’t have the time to go out and see movies. I had no social life at all. If you do have five minutes on a weekend, you want to sleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joe: Can you tell me how you met Elvis? Jan: When you’re assigned a film role, you have to go to the doctor, because of the insurance company. They have to make sure you don’t have a bad heart, any of that nonsense. They made my appointment for me at the studio, so I was there and I had on a white shirt and these slacks my mother had made for me that were like wine coloured. I went in the office and I was waiting to be called in. In walks Elvis with two of his buddies. I looked at him and he looked at me and we started to laugh. His jacket was the identical material and colour of my slacks. He looked at me and he said, “Honey, I’m either going to have to give you my jacket or you’re going to have to give me your pants” (laughing). That was my first meeting with Elvis. Joe: Goodness. Jan: Girl scout’s honour. Joe: Did you get along with Elvis? Jan: Oh, wonderful. He said if he had a sister, he wished it would be me. We got along so great because we worked alone the two of us the whole first week of the show. I would come to work and I would find on the set a pair of earrings he put there for me that cost about ten cents that he had liberated from the set. I have a marvelous picture where we are waiting to perform and we were just sitting down at the dining room table. I handed him this jewelry and I said I can’t take these from you, Elvis, you know it’s too much. You’re the last of the big spenders. He is there laughing so hard and they snapped this picture of the two of us. It’s a fabulous picture of him. But he would do little things like that. And he would play music on his guitar. He would ask me what I wanted to hear. Elvis loved Danny Boy.

Joe: Did you ever date Elvis? Jan: No, I was married (laughing). Joe: Oh, sorry, I didn’t know that. Jan: No, I was married, honey. But the thing was: Dolores Hart gave me a surprise birthday party. All the kids from Paramount studio were there. It was a big surprise to me. I was there for about ten minutes and in walks Elvis with the boys. He had this huge stuffed tiger under his arm. He knew I loved cats, so he had this stuffed cat and he named it Danny Boy. He gave me this big box. For weeks I had been asking Elvis for pictures that I could give the kids in my neighborhood when they had heard I was doing a picture with him. They all pleaded for photos of him. So I would always ask him for pictures for the kids. “Come on, please, I need pictures.” So he hands me this box and I placed it off to the side. He said, “Oh, no, you need to open that now.” So I opened it and it was a movie camera with a light bar and film. He said, “Now you can take your pictures.” You know if Colonel Parker was there, he would not had allowed that.

Early 1958. Elvis and Jan during surprise birthday party to Jan Shepard.

Joe: Oh, you’re right. Jan: Dolores said the next day she ran into Elvis and she said, “I was so surprised that you came.” He said I had to come, “She’s my sister. I wouldn’t miss her birthday party” (laughing). I ran into him in the studio. He said to me, “I hear Elvis was at your birthday party.” “Yeah, he was”. He said, “You know he never goes anywhere, people go to him, he never goes to other people’s homes.” Joe: That’s very true. Jan: I said I think we bonded a little bit. Joe: Was Elvis a good actor? Jan: Wonderful! Oh, just marvelous! I will never forget. You know every person that sings is a good actor. Because they have the sense of timing, the sense of rhythm, a sense of what words mean. He was a brilliant actor because he didn’t need any advice. He knew automatically what to do and act, as the show was going on. I kept saying to him, “Oh, Elvis, for God sake, you’re doing such a great job.” So one day we went for lunch. We were sitting there at a table and in walks Marlon Brando. Elvis was sitting with his back towards him. There was a table right behind Elvis that was empty, so Brando saw Elvis as soon as he walked in. So Brando got into the chair right behind Elvis. I said to Elvis, “Marlon Brando is sitting behind you.” Elvis said, “Oh, my God” and his head sunk into his sandwich. I said, “Look, he wants to meet you, I saw him looking at you, just say hi to him.” Well, that’s exactly what happened. He got up and bumped his chair. Marlon stood up and the two of them shook hands. They did a little small talking. Elvis was very cool. Elvis then walked out of the café very cool. But the minute we got outside he leaped up. He couldn’t believe he met Marlon Brando. He was so excited, we just danced all the way back to the studio. Then one day after the show had been released, someone sent me the review of King Creole. The title was “Bourbon Street Brando.” I raced over to Paramount and I grabbed Elvis and I said, “Look at this.” I showed him the “Bourbon Street Brando”, he just couldn’t believe it. I said, “See, I told you, you were going to be great in this!” Joe, Elvis was!

Scene of King Creole, 1958. Elvis as Danny Fisher and Jan Shepard as Mimi Fisher, Danny's sister.

Joe: Now you did another movie with Elvis. Jan: Yes, Paradise Hawaiian Style

Note: In Paradise, Hawaiian Style (1966) Jan Shepard played Betty Kohana, wife of Danny Kohana played by actor James Shigeta who's a friend and eventual business partner of Elvis' character Rick Richards.

Joe: Can you tell me about that movie and how you got the part? Jan: I had gone over to Paramount to have lunch with Dolores Hart. She was getting a wardrobe fitting for some picture. I ran into Paul Mason. He said, “Hi”. He asked what was I doing there. He said, “Hey, we need a wife for Jimmie Sakita for a movie Elvis is doing. Would you be interested?” He said, “It’s not a huge part, but it’s a good part.” I said, “Yeah, ok.” He told me to go up and see Hal Wallis. “I will give him a call and tell him you’re coming.” So I went up there. Well, Hal Wallis’s office is full of art. He has originals of Remington’s and Chares Russell, all those wonderful western painters. I walked in and I said, “Oh, my God, you have a Remington!” I knew art because my husband is an artist. Hal Wallis was very impressed, he asked me if I wanted that role? Yeah, fine, that would be wonderful! That’s how I got the part. Joe: Now what did Elvis say when he saw you? Jan: Well, the minute he saw me he asked how was Dolores because now she has been a nun for the past year. And I said she was good, I’ve seen her, I’ve gone there. And Maria Cooper, Gary’s daughter and I were the godmothers for her when she went into the monastery. And I said, “I’ve been there and she’s doing great and she, you know, I said you know if they let me wear eyelash mascara, I’d go in that place and say it’s beautiful. She’s home. This is where she wants to be and he wanted to see if she was okay and how you were doing. You know, and I noticed he was not the Elvis that was the little teddy bear that would run across the stage and pick up and swing you around. He was not that anymore. Joe: He changed? Jan: He was never in his dressing room and you know King Creole. He is always out with a group and having fun and playing the guitar and, you know, just a lot of fun. And he went to his dressing room and it was closed and I noticed he was drinking a lot of water. He had lot of glasses of water and he was drinking. Also, there was an attitude that was so different. He was kind of jaded and at the movies, he and I knew Charlie Afura who did all his choreography. Charlie was showing him something on stage, some dance moves or something, and he was just looking at Charlie, like “Charlie, I’ve done this four or five times already. I know what you want,” because it was the same movie every time. Joe: Right. Jan: He was always doing the same movie and I know he was tired of it.

(...)

Joe: When was the last time you saw Elvis? Jan: I saw him in Las Vegas. We went to a Casers Palace and I was so disappointed because he was into the karate stuff and he was turning his back to the audience all the time. And I just wanted to just go up there and spank him, you know. Joe: Yeah. Jan: Because he was just not him. You know. I think that when his mom died, that was just a terrible blow and that if she had lived Elvis would still be alive today. Joe: Yeah. When you were working in the movies, did you have the chance to have one on one conversations? Jan: Oh, yeah, all the time. Especially on the Creole, but not as much on Paradise Hawaiian Style. Yeah, like on the weekend it had rained all weekend and on Monday morning when Elvis came into the makeup room and I said, “Well, what did you do this weekend?” “I was on the phone with my mom all day, I didn’t go anywhere.” He told me one time they were on the road and they stopped at a diner, this was in the fifties. This big guy came over to him and picked him up by his shirt. He said, “I don’t like you”. Elvis said, “What’s wrong?” “My wife carries your picture around in her wallet.” Elvis said, “Hey, sir, I’m sorry, but that has nothing to do with me. I’m sorry, she should do that.” He let Elvis down and they took off. He had so much of that we had to fake people out when Elvis left the studio. We would send out a limo, the fans figured Elvis was in it. But Elvis was getting shoved into a taxi in the back of the studio. Elvis would be laying on the floor. Elvis said, “I know they don’t mean to do it, but sometimes they hurt me. They grab at me, pull my hair”. They have scratched his eye while trying to get some of that beautiful black hair. “I’ve been hurt,” Elvis said. “That’s why I don’t go anywhere.” We had a lot of conversations. One time I said to Elvis, “Why don’t you record Danny Boy?” He loved that song because he would sing it to his mom. Elvis said, “They don’t want that. They won’t let me sing something like that.” It was so funny, one day Pat Boone came walking on the set. Elvis spotted him and he started singing April Love, just the way Pat would sing it. Pat just grinned from ear to ear, Pat then came over and they met. But he never had the chance to become apart of the young Hollywood scene, because he was afraid to go out with the other young people who were at the studio. If he went to go to a movie, he had to rent the whole theatre. You know, Elvis never had a dime on him, he would follow me to the apple machine. I said to him, “You want an apple, right?” “Yes, please” (laughing). He never had any money. Joe: I know that to be true all the way up to the seventies. His men would carry his money and his keys. When did you hear that Elvis had passed? Jan: I was sitting with a friend at her business. The phone rang and they asked if I was there. They asked me if I had the radio on or had been watching television. I said no, why? “Elvis died.” I just couldn’t talk. When I was able to talk, I said I was so angry at him. I was so angry I could not even cry. Because he was doing all the wrong things and he knew he was, damn it! I could see that when I went to see him in Vegas. I said to myself, “That’s not my Elvis.” Joe: But you know the man was the greatest entertainer of the 20th century. Jan: There will never be another like him. In the Creole days he was just a big teddy bear. I asked him one time, “Ok, Elvis, when did all this swinging your hips start? Why do you do that?” “I do it for fun, I know just when to break it off.” I used to watch the little negro boys in his town, how they would sit on the curbs and sing. And they would stand up and dance. He said that’s where he got that from. They would sing and move their hips.

(...)

Joe: Well, I would like to thank you for talking to me today. Jan: You’re welcome, Joe.

Phone interview with Jan Shepard, done by Joe Krein, on June 22, 2007. YOU CAN READ THE FULL INTERVIEW ON: ELVIS100PERCENT.COM

Early 1958. Home movie. Birthday party to Jan Shepard. ♡

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