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theartofdreaming1 · 8 months

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For the weird writing asks and sorry I'm on mobile on the train, can't copy the questions right now but:

4, 15, 16, 35 aaaand 40

Sorry <3

4. What's a word that makes you absolutely feral?

Hmh, I don't know if I really have a specific word like that (or at least can't remember on the spot), but I guess the most recent time I felt like I'd go feral over a word was while watching episode 2 of Pushing Daisies, when we see Ned getting dumped at boarding school and his father's saying good-bye and we get this absolutely cutting narration:

"I'll be back," he lied.

I think I've never felt this strongly over the use of such a simple word as 'to lie" before, but this simple phrase (and word) really felt like a punch to the gut, damn.

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

No, I can't bring myself to write in books; I once just wrote my name on the very first empty page of a book (I think in pencil, even?) and I have felt absolutely horrible about it ever since (it doesn't help that my handwriting is atrocious). If I want to mark some phrases/passages from a book I'm reading, I write them down on a blank index card (complete with page citation) and put that in the book or I use some tiny sticky-notes 😅

The only exception I've ever made without a guilty conscience was writing the inscription of the ring from LOTR into my edition of Heinrich von Kleist's "Die Verlobung in St. Domingo" ("The Betrothal in Santo Domingo"), which I had to read for school xD

Similarly, I can't even fathom dog-earing any book on purpose! I try to keep my books as pristine as possible, even doing my darndest not to open my unabridged edition of Les Miserablés too widely, lest the spine gets more cracks and becomes even uglier (a very futile endeavour, since it is one of those boring black penguin paperback editions and the book is over a 1000 pages thick and you're inevitably gonna get some cracks in the spine, but I just cannot help myself)

And since I don't like taking baths and don't have a tub in my apartment, I don't read in the bath (I also would be terrified of getting my poor book wet).

But at this point in my life I'm mature enough to take a live-and-let-live stance on these things, so I won't judge people who do this to their books too harshly ;) (I can definitely see the appeal of handwritten margins in books, although the concept of dog-earing a book still makes me wince just thinking of it- but as long as it's not my book, it's fine)

16. What's the weirdest thing you've ever used as a bookmark?

Boy, I'll use anything at hand as a bookmark (although now that I have gotten some of the bookmarks I designed myself printed, I usually have something at hand) and since I'm quite messy, an improvised bookmark can be anything - grocery receipts, return receipts from library books, other books, whole comic book issues, empty envelopes, you name it 😅

35. What's your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

Rules, what are rules? 😉🔨 Honestly, I don't think I consciously follow any rules when I sit down to write my little stories - I just bang my head against the keyboard until the words sound like the story that is lodged somewhere inside my brain;- I once had to take a "Writing" exam in which we had to write a strictly structured 250-300 word pro-contra-essay and it was absolute agony - I like my creative writing to be joyful and free (once it gets past my crippling perfectionism and debilitating procrastination, that is ;)

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

I'm always very fond of Emily Dickinson's "Hope":

“Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all - And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard - And sore must be the storm - That could abash the little Bird That kept so many warm - I’ve heard it in the chillest land - And on the strangest Sea - Yet - never - in Extremity, It asked a crumb - of me.

#I answer #wurzelbertzwerg #stuff about me

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brendaonao3 · 2 years

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hello! hope all is good with you.

for the writing asks, 15 & 19 please :)

For the Weird Questions for Writers Meme (feel free to ask away!)

Hihi!!! I'm good - busy af, but that's what I get for deciding to renovate my kitchen myself, with only one person helping me out :D

Anyway, onto the questions!

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

I only ever wrote in the margins of textbooks, never in books I read for pleasure. And some books are dog-eared from me reading them so many times over the years, but in general, I try to take really good care of my books. (Unlike some of my friends, who crack the spine, which, UGH WHY - needless to say, these friends do not get to borrow my books :D)

I definitely read in the bath. Like, that's half the reason I take baths, I think. :D

I only judge people who don't take care of their books. But as long as you love reading, we can still be friends.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

As far back as I can remember, I've been writing. I (swear to God) wrote a book when I was 8 about a girl (who looked and talked suspiciously like a certain 8 year-old girl I knew :D) whose family crossed the Oregon Trail and all of the adventures they had along the way. I'm sure I still have it somewhere. :D

And I started writing because I had all of these stories in my head, and I was encouraged by teachers and friends to write them down. Some stories have been better than others, some friends and teachers were more encouraging than others, and sometimes life got in the way, but I've basically never stopped writing stories, and I can't ever see that changing.

I've written short stories, novels, plays, scripts, poetry, non-fiction, essays, op-eds, newspaper articles, interviews, marketing copy...you name it, I've written it. (Again, I'm better at some of these than others. :D) Being a writer is so much a part of my identity that I'm not sure who I'd be without it. And I hope I never have to find out.

#writing meta #writing is hard yo #but also fun #writing memes #brenda answers things

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multeasers · 18 days

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i have ic posts coming i swear

ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴜɴ

wow i didn't think copying the icon would make it tiny,,, . art by @wifiwuxians though !

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ ( ꜱ ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ?

i don't think anyone besides like 3 of you will actually remember, but when i originally started this blog, i was originally an a-qing blog ! this is because my brother my friend my bestie @/coffinseas ( won't bother u w a ping :p ) is the one i primarily was rping with, and i created this blog mainly inspired by his . i added wrh after a little while to play with being a multi, and also because i like him a lot, and everyone else kinda fell into place for the same reason i picked everyone based on how much i like them from their respective sources ! it's safe to say they're my favourites from them too ehehe

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ?

romance and smut . romance i'm gradually becoming a bit open to, but really only with hendy and MAYBEEEE antares ; every other muse i'm pretty set either for headcanon reasons or just because lol whoops . i also have a lot of reservations about who i could possibly write any romance with at all, and overall i'm just really awkward when writing romance too, so that fuels me being hesitant about it smut though i just don't trust anyone to write it with and never will . not the greatest at it either idk how i wrote it back on fuckin chatzy lol

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ?

honestly most everything beyond the above ! also everything i don't have stated somewhere as NOT being willing to write :0

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ ?

if it crosses my mind . that's it that's all the criteria . sometimes some thought goes into it but other than that, not really <3 when thought Does go into it, though, it can get excessive . i get deadset on a lot of stuff so when it occurs to me to change it, the hcs can come out looking a lot different from what they initially were

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ ?

silence mostly because i have to use my laptop in my kitchen and i write almost solely between midnight and like . 7 to 9 am most of the time

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ?

depends on what this really means ?? i write all of my replies in the moment, i never really have "drafts" other than to make sure i don't lose a post ; each reply i do takes at least over two hours, though

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ ?

not really, but i don't hate it . i have ships ( both in general and when it comes to the muses here lol ) . they're just very few, and the ones i don't have i don't like most of the time

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ / ɴᴀᴍᴇ ?

zag :v after zagreus hades game . his impact was so real

ᴀɢᴇ ?

closer to 25 than not

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ?

30 August babeyyy

ꜰᴀᴠᴏuʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏuʀ ( ꜱ ) ?

black and all pastels but yellow and orange :D

ꜰᴀᴠᴏuʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ ( ꜱ ) ?

of ALL time, the dark of you by breaking benjamin ! here lately, though, moscow mule by bad bunny and sign of life + </c0de> by motionless in white have been up there

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ ?

LOL this super terrible one called the exorcism of amarillo . it was really fun-bad though so i'm not mad about it

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ ?

one piece i think ? or nnt

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ?

for pleasure, the fox's wedding / kitsuneno yomeiri by masa works design

ꜰᴀᴠᴏuʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ ?

Sushi all day tbh . since i can't eat chorizo and papas ( favourite food in my heart ) anymore 😭😭

ꜰᴀᴠᴏuʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ ?

fall ! until it gets too cold and then i'm mad ( but then i'm mad when i'm too hot,,, save me from texas weather hell )

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ?

i do ! i have quite a few :] all of them i met on my personal blog, though

tagged by stolen from : myself on my sebby blog 😏

tagging : i'm sleepy so y'all tag yourselves and say i did it

#[ no dash games tag oops ]#🌊 ( ooc ) : mun talking #tornados keep happening in my town and i don't realize it . not that that has anythin to do w this post LOL

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inks-books · 1 year

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I haven't been working on much of anything lately. My main WIP hasn't been catching my interest and while everyone says "you gotta keep going anyway", when you have ADD that's really hard. I wish I knew why I can't get words on the page. Next chance I get I'll glue myself in front of a doc for like ten minutes and see what comes out. If I can get even a single, five word sentence written, it'll be a success to me.

Honestly having ADD IS hard when you're writing. One [edit: some] of the things that helps me is either having something going on in the background to help me focus (I ignore it so I can hyperfocus on what I want to work on) or complete silence so I do get over stimulated and can think straight.

Remember! It's okay to take a break from your main work to work on a side project. In fact, I usually have two or three projects going on at once so I don't get bored. If I start to get stumped on one, I'll move to the next. Then when the same happens there, I move back to the first or to a third. It's how I wrote over 100K words in a month! Don't be afraid to branch out. It helps to have options when your brain likes to work against you!

Also!!! (Sorry this is a really long post BUT you've reminded me of a bunch of things that help me when I get stuck!) Sometimes it's the scene you're working on. Go back about 10 lines (give or take that's an estimate) and copy and paste it into another word doc (just in case you want to use that scene somewhere else in the story or in another book - don't just delete it!) and try rewriting the scene in a different direction. See if that helps! Sometimes the scene isn't going the way it needs to and it blocks you up. Sometimes you just gotta take a different direction.

Anyway, I really hope this helps and that you get past your writer's block!!!!

#ask inks #writer's block #hope this helps!#writing advice #add writing #inks rambles

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rosieblogstuff · 2 years

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7, 22, and 35 for the writer asks :0?

7. what is your deepest joy about writing?

It makes me pretty happy it I re-read something I wrote later and still like it. 😁 But it also makes me pretty happy if I know someone else has enjoyed something I wrote.

22. how organized are you with your writing? describe to me your organization method, if it exists. what tools do you use? notebooks? binders? apps?

Oh not very, and my level of orgnaization really depends on the project. My fanfics are just in folders in my GDrive. I try to give the files names that are meaningful enough I can tell the file apart. I pat myself on the back if I remember to put a little outline of where the story was going into the file, and kick myself later when I don't and subsequently can't remember what I had in mind originally.

My orig fics have a separate folder stucture and I'm pretty good about versioning different drafts of files.

For tools... my orig fic novels are... all different. I actually try to write an outline. But like one has an outline in a Google Sheet. One started with a very brief outline in a Google Slide (yes ONE SLIDE) and later I re-did it by hand in a different format on a 14-column accounting pad. Somewhere I had one of those science fair 3-part display boards all marked up with columns and rows that I sometimes use with post-its for scene planning. I feel like I've tried a billion things because I'm BAD at plotting, and yet I'm also bad at finishing a long thing if I don't have an outline to at least start with.

I have a small file cabinet into which I used to toss critiqued paper copies of stories or chapters after I got them back from my crit group. before Covid, when we were still meeting in person.

35. what’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

Ooooh this is a tough one. Writing in present-tense is one. Outside of fanfics, I've only written one thing in third person present tense (and it was a 1000-word flash piece I wrote last year). Outside of fanfic I see so many people being wary about present tense.

#ask games #thanks for the ask! :)

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larrysballetslippers · 3 years

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Hey, I saw you write fictions. Could you help me understand how to go about writing fictions and what are the basic steps? I want to write a larry fiction but english isn't my first language and my vocabulary isn't advanced. I, however, do want to give a try maybe a short fiction. How do formulate a fiction? I have some ideas but I can't divide them into chapters and generate enough scenes. I have tried to write sometimes but it's always a dead end and I don't know to proceed.

Personally I like how read story where there's seeding in every chapter with some backstory which gradually gets revealed. I am into a/b/o phase right now and want to write a good story with basic yet great plotline which keep my readers hooked.

I have so many questions to ask. Sorry for this long ask and Thank you if you respond.

Hey sweetie. How do I say this without sounding self-deprecating? I'm still a beginner, I technically wrote two fics. I'm currently working on my first "advanced" fic, which means I'm still learning, A LOT. I can't really be a teacher right now, but I can give you some tips. I can help you with what I learned since I started writing and link some good blogs/posts. This is going to be long, so cut.

First, some tips.

1. There are so many superior writers out there, but everyone has to start somewhere.

You can't start writing with the idea you're the greatest writer on the planet. I wrote down my first story when I was eight. Did it have a good plot? No. Did it have well thought out characters? Absolutely not. Did I make a story inspired by my favourite superhero show? Yes. It was probably 300 words max and with horrible grammar. I'm a very imaginative person, so I make stories up in my head, but that was the first one I wrote down. I haven't written much since then, just some school projects and little things here and there. I only started really writing in April, I think. It was rough, but fun. It was a canon-compliant story, so it didn't need that much planning out, I thought. When I finished, I was so proud. Then I started my second fic and I realized my first wasn't the best. I was so sad when I read it back, disappointed it didn't turn out the way I had in mind. But I shook it off, realized it was my first fic, EVER. So I shouldn't put myself down. You have to start writing to get good, you can't expect to be Jane Austin without putting one word down. Don't COMPARE yourself to others.

2. Plot is never truly original.

Like music, there isn't somsthing like an original plot. Everything is taken from something else. Every plot in the world has taken inspiration from somewhere else. You can write an a/b/o fic with a spy theme, it's very clever, but not original. You've taken an a/b/o plot and combined it with a spy plot. Don't be afraid to write a cliche plot, it's about the way you write it. That's why no two fics are the same, the writer is different.

3. Find a beta you trust.

When I first started the first part of my fic (it was a series), I didn't know what a beta really did, so I asked someone to correct my grammar and that was that. In the second and third part of that fic I didn't even do that, I tried to correct everything myself. Part 4 of my series I asked a beta to help me, it was wonderful. It's the best part of my whole fic and I'm forever grateful for that beta. We weren't the best match, so we couldn't continue working together. The fic I'm writing now is much longer than anything I ever written, so I needed a good and available beta. I found one, the angel of all angels. You need to find someone that will help you with your story, but also encourage when you feel like complete trash. Believe me, you will. It's important you have someone to brainstorm with and laugh with over your your character's dumb jokes.

4. Your English is better than you think.

I'm not a native English speaker, shocker right? No, I'm joking, I'm not the best. BUT I'm understandable, right? That's important. You don't need to have fancy words to write a story. Use the words you know and if you want to improve your vocabulary, do that, with time. You don't need to be an native speaker in a day, it takes time. I'll link some good sites for vocabulary.

5. Read more fics

A good way to improve your vocabulary, read more fics. You clearly enjoy it, use it to improve yourself. Not only for vocabulary but for the plot, characterization, world-building, etc. Take in the things you want to remember, forget the rest.

6. Copy and paste

Maybe a bad thing to say, but copy and paste things you like. If there's a sentence in a fic or book you like, copy it. Of course, don't just paste it in your fic, but take inspiration out of it. Why do you like it so much? Why does it come over so good? Any words you want to use? Is the structure of the sentence appealing? Think about it, so you can improve your fic. Especially with areas you struggle with, take a look at other works.

7. Smut is scary, but don't be scared to try.

Is smut something you want to write? You don't have to, but if you want, don't be scared. As someone who wrote two smut scenes in her life, I'm struggling, but I'm trying. Take all the tips above this and just try. Things may go terribly wrong, but that's why you're practising.

8. Research research research!

Things like smut, fantasy, minority groups. You can't just write about it without any knowledge, research it. Articles, youtube videos, blogs on tumblr, etc. A simple kiss scene can be difficult if you have no knowledge about it, read people's first kiss stories or something like that. Want to try and write BDSM, read about it on a BDSM blog. Research the heck out of it.

9. Just to say it again. DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS.

Just to summarise, you're you, don't try to be someone else. You're writing style isn't worse than someone else's, it's just different. It makes your work recognisable, your text original, your hours of writing easier. Someone told me I can write young people really well, I owned it. Find what you're good at and own it.

Now that I have given you some important tips to start, I'll answer your question. How to go about writing fiction?

Everyone is different first of all, so please don't take my word for it. This is my routine, I just made up.

1. What do you want to write?

Is it your own idea, a prompt, a fic fest, an exchange?

2. What universe does take part in?

Does take place in the real world or a fantasy world? The past, present or future? Realistic or supernatural? Which country?

3. What is the goal?

Are they supposed to be lovers at the end? Do they have to defeat something/someone? A quest? Where do you want to end the story?

4. Where does it start?

Where does your story start? At the birth of your characters? In the future and you work your way back? In the middle? When your important characters meet each other for the first time?

5. What does it take to get from start to finish?

What happens in the story? What developments happen? Is it a road trip and your characters need to get closer, how do they do that?

6. What are some subplots you want to add?

Are there things that don't really matter for your goal, but you want to add? Friends to lovers but maybe they help someone's mom out one day.

7. Who are your characters?

Their personalities, appearances, quirks, relationships.

8. Who is the protagonist?

Who is the story about? Who is the main character?

9. In whose point of view is it?

Who is telling the story? You, the protagonist, the love interest, a random bystander, etc?

10. Outline.

Write down what you want to do with your story. Every scene needs to be written down. You can always change it of course.

11. Write, write and write.

Take all the tips and write.

I want to give you some links I always use. I will also recommend some blogs.

This tool lets you describe a concept and get back a list of words and phrases related to that concept: https://www.onelook.com/thesaurus/

This article about body language: https://www.writerswrite.co.za/cheat-sheets-for-writing-body-language/

This tumblr post about body language: https://badassunicorn2016.tumblr.com/post/145725344712/writing-tip-june-4th

This article for alternatives for 'said': https://owlcation.com/humanities/400-Alternative-words-for-said

This tumblr post about writing smut: https://larryficsvol28.tumblr.com/post/660062510531182592/smut-101-a-tutorial-for-beginners

This tumblr post about how to make smut sound sexy:https://larryficsvol28.tumblr.com/post/658604597068365824/making-smut-sound-sexy

This tumblr post about turning ideas into a story: https://larryficsvol28.tumblr.com/post/659430707796557824/i-get-lots-of-ideas-for-stories-which-are-just

I have some blogs you can follow that talk about writing.

This podcast blog @roseanddaggerpodcast

This blog has a podcast too and some good fic recs @allwaswell16

These writing blogs @ficsex @writingquestionsanswered @bhficfest https://wordsnstuffblog.com/

Some veterans writers and also have some good fic recs @twopoppies @justalarryblog @kingsofeverything @louandhazaf @hershelsue @lululawrence @pocketsunshineharry @fearlesslysweetcreature @indiaalphawhiskey

I hope I could help you a little. In some weird way I helped myself, hehe. I hope you can finally write the story you want. If you ever have any questions, just come by. I don't know if I can always help you, but I'll try!! Good luck!!

#writing tips #mine #I'm so honoured someone would ask me this #I hope I could help #anon asks #asks #I hope there are no typos in this thing #look at me giving advice 😌😌

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mountainmaven · 2 years

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What a week (mostly in a good way)

This might get rambly (and long), I apologize in advance.

I've had a lot of wins this week and it's kind of surreal.

Tuesday was the MRI and I worked on NOT berating myself for worrying so much ahead of time when everything went fine. Instead I wrote in my journal: "You were terrified and you did it anyway. THAT is bravery."

Wednesday I had a really good therapy session. We got into some deep shit, which was necessary. And it still blows my mind that I often don't see the very obvious. We talked a bit about my past traumas starting in childhood all up to adulthood. She (my therapist) picked up right away on something...all of my traumatic incidents happened in places that were supposed to be safe places. So it's kind of no wonder that a) I don't really trust others or feel safe anywhere other than my home. Or that b) I don't always trust my own judgement and decision making. She also very astutely picked up on the issues I have with transition periods. I don't do well with them at all. She told me to find an old photo of myself and put it somewhere visible (I have it on my fridge and I also now have it on my lock screen on my phone) and to remember that all the shit that little girl went through made me who I am, and got me where I am today. And that if I'm not living my best life, then the only one who is going to be disappointed is her. So if I can't do it for myself, do it for her. Now I've heard this from others before but it FINALLY sank in. And having the picture helps.

Then I was talking to my oldest daughter this morning and she shared something she'd seen online recently... and it was something along the lines of: "the only two people you need to impress in this life are your 5-year old self, and your 85-year old self." And that is so liberating and empowering .

The other thing is that anxiety is a debilitating bitch - we know this. I haven't shared this next part with anyone outside of my husband and kids. Back in Dec. (Dec. 8th to be exact) I drove to my ultrasound and mammogram appointment. It had snowed recently and was icy too. We have a very steep hill in front of our house that stays in shade most of the time so it was very icy - I pulled out of the driveway in 4-Wheel drive and I was like "okay I can do this" because that went well. I put the car in drive (still in 4-Wheel drive) and started going very slowly forward - my tires hit that ice and I was all over the street going sideways etc. It scared the crap out of me. I got to a point in the street where there was no ice and stopped for a minute to collect myself. I knew I'd be okay as long as there were no more giant icy patches like that. So I got to my appointment and back again just fine. However, I hadn't driven any vehicle since. It scared me that badly.

Until yesterday that is. I drove our Toyota (because now my Jeep had sat for so long that the battery was dead lol). I drove it to our little library to pick up a book. I found out that our little library up here on the mountain (and when I say little, it's TINY lol) has a book club that meets once a month so I had called to get more information and what book they're reading this month. I went to pick up a copy yesterday. (It's The Night Tiger by Yangsze Shoo). I hope to attend the meeting at the end of the month. Driving went great, and it felt so good to drive again. I've always loved driving, I would actually do it to relax at times. And it's one of the few things I'm really good at (or was before #ANXIETY).

Today I got my Jeep running again using the battery operated jump kit. I'll check it again tomorrow. But I got it running and then just let it run for about 20 minutes so we'll see how it goes. But at least I know I can get it started, and then if I have to drive it down the mountain for maintenance I can do that.

#personal #about me #therapy #trauma #random ramblings #I'm celebrating my wins this week

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peaceheather · 3 years

Note

Hi! Are you the same PeaceHeather who wrote the Stargate SG-1 story "Shen" aeons ago? I can't find any live links to that story anywhere and it was a favorite.

Oh my goodness.

1. Yes. I have not changed my username in life 20 years because that is just how I roll, I guess.

2. Shen was around for a little while as a .txt somewhere but I think even that site is no more. However, I do still have a copy of it saved myself, and I've been debating posting it to AO3.

3. Welp, guess I'll have to do that now. One of my first fics ever, and it's 50k and includes world building, a protagonist who gets tied up, lots of lovely hurt comfort, and gen relationships throughout. Apparently I had a style even then.

4. Fun trivia: To this day some of my computer passwords are based on words from the language I made up for use in that fic.

Okay, so, subscribe to me on AO3 if you see this (yep, same username there too), and I'll try to post the first chapters today, if not the entire thing. But you gotta promise to leave just one comment!

This is so flattering. I can't believe ANYONE still remembers that story. Thank you so much.

Cheers.

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Thirty-Eight

Table of Content or Part Thirty-Seven

Read here on wattpad

A/N: Question — what song do you think of when you think of Nikki and Viv? I'm trying to see something

Word count: 3.3k

Warning(s): Explicit language, Sexual situations, Drug abuse

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My bare feet hook underneath his thighs the second I realize he's about to finish and he gives a crooked smirk up at me, his breathing beginning to shallow.

Nikki holds my hips still, groaning out as his cum coats the inside of me, causing me to let out a hazey moan, my mind cloudy from our rather lengthy round.

Once he's finished, I'm getting off of him and falling beside him, catching my breath as we recover is silence fore several minutes.

"Are you on birth control or something?" He asks me out of nowhere and I tense up, looking at him.

"Why're you asking?"

"I've been thinking about it since Vince and Sharise had Skylar, for some reason. I mean, I haven't used a rubber since we started dating and most of the time I don't pull out, and we've only had one pregnancy scare in the past, what, like, four years?"

"You've managed to keep track of how long we've been together?" I ask him, pretending to be shocked and he gently hits my arm with the back of his hand, and I chuckle, rolling over to face him, my lips pressing to his bicep for a moment.

I think I'm in the clear, dodging his question, but I'm not.

"I'm being serious, Viv, are you on something or...?" He asks and I lick my lips.

"Maybe my antidepressant affects fertility, I don't know." I shrug, lying through my teeth. "Drugs can cause issues on your end, too, so maybe that's another reason."

"Oh." He replies.

I avoid looking at him, sitting up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed before reaching down to grab his shirt by my feet.

You know those lies, that start simple and small, and then snowball more and more over time and explode in flames from hell that melt the snow and turn it into scalding hot water that leaves third-degree burns on the person that's being lied to? Yeah, we both had lots of those, and that was one of mine.

take a shower and brush my teeth, excited for my plans tonight, and as I start putting makeup up on, Nikki's getting in the shower.

"Are you and Robin going out tonight?" I ask him.

"Uh, yeah. Sparkie's coming, too." He replies and I roll my eyes.

I know they'll go out to a club and hide in the bathroom, shooting up and snorting blow a majority of the time, only leaving to get some drinks.

"My doctor was really curious as to why I needed a refill so soon being that he gave me a month supply a week before Sparkie traded it." I comment to remind him Sparkie's a piece of shit.

"Sparkie learned his lesson, baby." He tells me in a half-chuckle and I raise my brows at myself in the mirror and turn the sink on.

"Jesus fuck, Viv!" He screams, being bombarded with ice cold water for a moment.

"Awe, I'm sorry, maybe Sparkie can sympathize with you." I reply smartly.

He's getting out of the shower, covered in suds, glaring at me, and I take off running with him chasing close behind.

"Spoiled brat!" He calls at me, the both of us naked as jaybirds.

"Trader bastard!" I say back, right before he catches me, pulling me against his wet, soapy body, his hands not skipping a moment to start tickling me.

I squeal, the both of us falling to the floor, my feet and legs kicking out of instinct.

"Don't you do it." He threatens. "Remember what happened last time."

"Not my fault you're a pussy." I reply, immediately regretting it when he starts tickling me again, this time, getting on top of me to pin me down.

He doesn't let up until I'm laughing so hard I'm in tears, and he's tired of struggling with me.

We look at each other for a minute, before he grins and kisses me.

"I gotta finish getting ready." He tells me, getting off of me and helping me up.

"Yeah, I do, too."

I decided a nice trip to Malibu would be a great thing for GN'R. I mean, go to Tansy's house there, have her invite over some of her single girl friends to mingle with the guys, stay over night so they don't have to worry about whether or not they'd be able to crash at their stripper friends' apartment and sleep on the floor that night, have a nice breakfast together the next morning, and just give Axl and Izzy time to really get to know Tansy, because they haven't hung out with her very much, while Slash, Duff and Steven see her almost more than I do.

I glance around the living room of Tansy's Malibu beach house, seeing beach bunnies all around with perfectly tanned skin, bombshell hair and perfect smiles, then look at Steven and Slash, who seem to be having a pretty good time.

They both look like they're in heaven, girls on either side of them, obviously fans of their work on the Sunset Strip back in L.A.

Izzy took a girl up to the guest bedroom long ago, while Axl's just nursing a bottle of Jack, with a beautiful brunette chattering his ear off while he's pretending not to care about what Tansy's doing as she talks to one of her girl friends across the room.

I do a mental head count, and notice my 6'4 blonde is nowhere to be seen.

Maybe he found a girl or two of his own and followed in Izzy's footsteps, taking over a spare room?

I brush it off, deciding it's none of my business and step to the kitchen to grab a Pepsi out of the fridge.

When I pass by the doors that lead to the balcony over looking the ocean, though, I see the outline of someone sitting in the lounge chair.

Recognizing the slender frame, I grab my soda and head outside, Duff looking over his shoulder to see who I am, before smiling at me innocently, bottle of Vodka by his foot and pack of Marlboros on one knee as a sketch pad and pen are being supported by his other.

"Hi." I say as he scoots over to make room for me. "Mr. Social Butterfly." I add, sarcastically.

"Hey." He replies, moving his Vodka over so I won't knock it down with my foot.

"I figured you be eating that up." I motion to the door, referring to the gorgeous girls inside and he chuckles a little.

"I don't know, I haven't really been feeling chicks lately." He tells me and I furrow my brows a little.

"Well, I'm sure she has some boy friends, too, if you're feeling something different." I inform him, knowing what he meant, but he laughs and shakes his head.

"Not like that, Viv." He tells me and I pull my red hair behind my shoulders to get it out of my face, before taking a sip of my drink. "I've been, uh, working on something new, kinda. The lyrics have been going off left and right in my head, I just thought I'd better get somewhere quiet and write them down before I lose them." He explains, holding up his notepad.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I feel like I've intruded, or messed up his groove, about to leave him alone to finish but he puts his hand on my knee to stop me from standing up.

"No, no, it's fine." He insists, taking his hand off of me, not thinking anything of it, despite me feeling warmth radiate from where he touched me.

I ignore it.

"I've already gotten everything I had in mind, so far." He explains. "Just a verse and chorus."

"What's the name of it?" I ask, and he scratches the back of his neck.

"I don't know if I need to tell you. I'm superstitious about this stuff, Viv." He tells me, even though he's completely full of shit.

He just wants to aggravate me.

"It's just the title, Duff. You let me hear you say 'turn around, bitch, I gotta use for you' and this can't be worse than that." I point out and he chuckles, licking his lips before looking at me.

His hand covers the lyrics, exposing the title line of the page.

"Paradise City" is scribbled in his writing and I smile when he moves his hand and let's me read the chorus, and verse that he's gotten so far, a giant smile pulling at my lips.

"Who the hell inspired this?" I ask him, raising my brows.

"Nobody particular." He shrugs. "You like it?"

"I already love it." I tell him.

Not to compare two completely different bands who earned their names all on their own, but there are a few song parallels between Guns N' Rose's Appetite for Destruction, and Mötley Crüe's Girls, Girls, Girls albums.

Guns' Welcome to the Jungle was like Mötley's Wild Side. Paradise City was like Girls, Girls, Girls. Mr. Brownstone was like Dancing on Glass. But my favorite parallel has to be Sweet Child O Mine and You're All I Need.

I remember Nikki had given me a tape of You're All I Need after we got into a massive argument because he thought I was spending too much time with Duff. But he had practically accused me of having feelings for Duff, and even acting on them (which was pretty hypocritical being that he'd been screwing Vanity since 1986 at that point.)

A few weeks later, Nikki convinced me to come down to the studio so he could personally give me a copy of a song he had written me, and me--being excited--decided I wanted the guys to hear it, too.

I went to the Franklin Plaza where Steven, Duff, Slash, Izzy and Axl were hanging out, discussing a meeting they'd had with their label.

When I told them Nikki wrote a love song about me (thinking it was his way of trying to patch up our marriage and say to the world "I love this woman") the guys had to hear it, not believing me.

The ballad started beautifully, tears coming to my eyes, but my warmed heart quickly began boiling in my chest by the time the second chorus ended.

"I don't think this is a love song." Izzy stated, while shaking his head a little.

"Yeah, uh...he's talking about killing you." Axl had told me, everyone seemed slightly disturbed.

"Your girlfriends get Sweet Child O Mine and what does the dedicated wife that has done nothing but love this sick bastard get?! A song dedicated to his deep desire to murder me!"

"Dude, hasn't he actually tried to kill you before?" Steven asked.

Which made the song even more ironic, along with the last line of the chorus, "and I loved you but you didn't love me" which in itself was slap in the fucking face.

I didn't hear the full song at that time because Duff had took it out of the player and stomped it under his cowboy boot.

That pretty much set the tone for the months to come.

"You're also incredibly biased." He replies in the same tone and I nudge him with my elbow.

"You don't know how many songs I have actually had to tear out of Nikki's hand and hide them from him because they were so bad I just could not allow them to be recorded." I tell him.

"Oh, please." He brushes me off.

"Have you heard 'Theater of Pain'?" I ask him with raised brows.

"Yeah."

"Home Sweet Home and Smokin' in the Boy's Room were the only really good ones. And Smokin' in the Boy's Room was a cover. The other songs were songs I didn't know were written, or I would have hid them from him, too." I state and he tries not to laugh, but fails, making himself snort, which kickstarts my laughter.

Once we settle down, he clears his throat, and gets a kind of serious expression on his face.

"I really wish he wasn't on that shit, Viv." He tells me and I don't even have to ask who he's talking about. "I mean, I'm not judging him or whatever because Izzy and Slash are in on that stuff, too, but...I just hate to see he's on it, because it's kinda hard to manage it once you hit a certain point, ya know?" He asks and I nod a little. "I think he's a pretty cool guy...so it sucks to see him act like that."

"It's not that bad, right now." I tell him, completely in denial. "He's still Nikki, he just does stuff he's not suppose to. That's nothing new to me."

"I'm just a little worried, is all." He admits.

"There's no need to be." I reassure him. "He's got a handle on things."

Dear God did I eat those words a week later in Dallas, Texas.

It's like watching a fucking car accident.

Except instead of a car, it's my husband, and instead of a car accident, it's him losing his ever loving mind, crouched on the hotel room desk, as he babbles on, making absolutely no sense as he shouts at his parents who aren't even present.

I just came back from the pool, got a shower, and came in to him doing this.

"Nikki!" I try to get him out of whatever drug-induced show he's on.

"I'm not me! I'm not Nikki! I'm someone else!" He insists, hands yanking at his hair, his eyes completely taken over by an entirely different beast.

I panic, immediately calling Fred.

"The fuck is wrong?!" He asks when I open the door, hearing Nikki's screaming and carrying on and I try to keep the absolute fear that's locking up my system from showing.

"I-I don't know. I got in from the pool and he was kinda jittery but I thought he'd done some blow, but then he started screaming when I was in the shower and now he's--"

Fred gets tired of hearing Nikki's meaningless shrieks at people who aren't in the room with us, and snatches him off the desk.

Nikki hits the floor, and a switch is flipped, sending him into strong convulsions, opting thick, white foam to pour from his mouth.

"Fuck, Sixx!" Fred lets out, turning him on his side. "Get me a roll of toilet-paper." He barks at me and I do as I'm told, saying a very colorful, silent prayer in my head.

He tries to get Nikki to bite down on it to keep him from biting his tongue, but Nikki can't do it. screaming instead.

When I think I can't take the confused, scared, out-of-character shrill, it's like God himself knocks Nikki out, leaving Fred and I in complete silence, riddled with what just happened.

Fred checks his pulse and sighs in relief, looking at me.

"Viv, are you alright?" He asks me, taking deep breaths.

"Y-yeah." I say, nodding, even though I know it's written all over my face that I can't be further from "alright."

"Vivian--"

"I just need a second." I tell him, standing up to go to the bathroom, disguising oncoming tears in a strong, steady voice that's physically uncomfortable to push past the lump in my throat.

I lock myself inside the bathroom and turn the water back on, gripping the counter before I find myself in the floor, quiet sobs rocking through me.

I just want my Nikki back...not this tainted demon nesting himself in Nikki's skin, festering his bullshit in Nikki's mind.

By the time I'm worn down from crying, and tired from lying on the bathroom floor, I pull myself up and open the bathroom door, stepping into the room.

I guess Fred put Nikki in the bed before he left, because Nikki's still passed out, just tucked in the covers.

I get pajamas on, scared to even touch him because I don't want him to start seizing again.

Cautiously getting closer to him, nestling my forehead against his arm, I thank God for the feeling of his pulse under my finger tips in the crook of his arm, and find myself passing out with utter exhaustion.

The next morning, Nikki's really quiet.

I'm not sure if he remembers what happened last night, but I'm not asking him.

After finding a needle and evidence of an 8-ball of coke, he can lick my twat if he thinks I'm talking to him anytime soon.

The video shoot for Home Sweet Home is happening today, and a limo picks Nikki and I up at the hotel, driving us to the venue, neither of us acknowledging the other.

Once we get there, someone's dressing Nikki like a damn toddler, because he's too fucked from last night to dress himself in his done up stage costume.

Nikki was so, so, so, obviously, utterly fucked up when they filmed the music video for Home Sweet Home.

The entire time, he was chugging Jack to try to calm himself down from a high he later described felt like, "being on acid and speed at the same time" and with the way he was acting like he couldn't see a damn thing, I believe it.

He kept sunglasses on a majority of the time so people couldn't see how his eye were practically doing cartwheels.

"Viv, we're about to start, where's Nikki?" His bass tech asks me and I glance around, furrowing my brows a little.

"I haven't seen in him about an hour. He went over there by the stage...at least I think he did." I tell him, stepping over to the last place I saw him. "He was here and..." I trail off, hearing Nikki having a full blown conversation, his voice coming from underneath the stage.

The two of us sit and listen for a moment, realizing Nikki's just talking, taking long pauses, then answering a question that was never asked by anybody, not even himself.

"Who is he talking to?" His tech asks me under his breath so Nikki won't hear.

I roll my jaw, getting fed up.

"Probably the fucking demon he sees and befriends every time he gets high." I state, fully believing that at this point, there is indeed a demon following him around, breathing down his neck, stripping him of his control and cheering him on with each grain of coke, bottle of Jack, cc of heroin and prescription-grade pill.

"Nikki," His tech starts. "Who're you talking to?"

"I'm talking. Leave me alone." Nikki argues.

"Nikki." I state, looking at him.

It's the first time he's heard my voice all day.

"There's nobody there, baby. C'mon." I motion my hand for him to get out from under the stage.

"Leave me alone!" He snaps at me, nearly hissing.

"Dude, calm down, you're freaking out." His tech tells him.

"Nikki, get your ass out from under there or so help me God, I will come in and drag you out by your dick." I promise him.

He puffs up like a pissed off rooster and stomps out, passing by us, grumbling under his breath.

Do you wanna know what was really fucked up about that time? Vince couldn't have a beer without someone losing their mind. He was supposed to be sober. Nikki would bust Vince's balls if he even saw him looking at a bottle...but then Nikki would load anything and everything into his body, simultaneously.

Vince quickly became the odd man out, and had been ever since that night with Razzle. There was this vibe, this tension, that Vince was only kept in the band at that time, because they were getting hotter and hotter, and each member was the ticket to reach their full potential as a band. Each member was important.

Without Tommy, there was no band. Without Mick, there was no band. Without Nikki, there was no band.

And without Vince, there was no band...that was the one that really didn't sit too well with Sikki.

#nikki sixx #vince neil #mick mars #tommy lee #mötley crüe #the dirt

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cdelphiki · 4 years

Note

So how does Scrivener work cdelphiki? Any specifics? I think you talked about it a fair bit before, early in November, but I can't quite remember.

Scrivener is awesome!! Basically, it’s a word processor on steroids specifically for writers (and not student/business purposes, like Microsoft Word/Google Docs) Although you can use it for student or business purposes, if you wanted.

Basically, you use it by first creating your project. It has a lot of templates to choose from, and once you pick what you want to do, it has instructions of how to structure your project in your newly created file. There are a ton of template options, but I’m here for the novel format:

But you can write pretty much anything you can imagine in scrivener.

Pick what you want and click “choose” then save it somewhere. I have the app for ipads/iphones, so I save all my projects on dropbox so I can access them from my phone or computer. (This is how scrivener is set up for synced across platforms: over dropbox, not icloud for mac users. It took me a hot minute to figure out.) It has you name and save it up front so it can start backing up your work!!

Once it’s got the project created, it will give you the informational page for the template you selected. Read through it for a lot of good information on how to use all the organizational tools for your specific project.

Now you basically just start working. There is no real wrong way to go about putting together your story. I use scrivener for both one shots and multi-chaptered fics. I actually keep most my one shots in one project, titled “Tumblr Prompts,” just to make it easier than having a zillion project files for single stories.

If you want a pretty detailed walkthrough of how I use scrivener, I put it all below the cut. :D

Here’s one of my my well-used project files:

There’s a lot going on here. The left column is your navigation bar. This is basically your entire book. As you can see I have folders within folders. The main one, called “Manuscript” by default, is basically the book in its entirety. I then use more folders for each chapter. Right now, since I’m still drafting, I actually just have it broken into ‘events,’ rather than chapters. This is just a me thing and is what I figured out to help me keep better track of everything.

So I have the Prologue, and then event 1.1 (act 1, event 1), 1.2, 1.3, etc. In 1.3, as you can see, I have both chapter 3 and 4 as scene cards. 1.4 has five scene cards that will likely turn into 7 chapters, once I do a revision!

All the various colors of text are revisions. By default, the first draft is written in black.

When you’re ready to do a revision, you can turn on revision mode and select which version you’re on. I’m on my third revision. I really like this function because it lets me see my progress.

Now, inside all these folders you can see a couple different symbols there. You can actually change the symbols of these things yourself by right clicking on the object in the navigation pane and selecting “change icon.” I put the pencil on all my notes, so it’s very easy for me to know what to get rid of when I’m cleaning up and about to call something “done.” On Precedent, for example, whenever I publish a chapter, I go ahead and name the chapter folder in Scrivener and get rid of all the note cards so all that is left is what I actually published.

Probably one of the best things about Scrivener, is when you want to get rid of something, you don’t have to erase it entirely. On this project here, you can see I have a file a couple under the file selected for viewing called “trash pile.” Whenever I remove large chunks of text, I actually just copy it over to a blank scene card so it’s not ‘lost.’ I then “move to trash,” so it’s not in the way, but it’s always available to me. Scrivener does not delete anything you ‘move to trash’ unless you specifically move to that trash bin and make it delete it. This is great because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve ‘thrown something away’ just to realize, sometimes months later, that that exact scene would work perfectly now! And good thing I saved the draft, so I had something to start with!

Now, back to these ‘scene’ cards. Scene cards are just the files you actually write on. I don’t know if Scrivener calls them that or not, but they’re set up like notecards. I don’t know if you ever did the notecard method in school, where you wrote major points on note cards and then arranged them into a logical order on the table? That’s basically what this is.

To get to this screen, I selected the folder for section 1.4. You can pick any folder you want, even the over all manuscript to get here. Then you pick the view option, where the top arrow is pointing. The first view option shows it as a document, as my other pictures have already demonstrated.

What the notecards are going to show you is your synopsis, if you have one written. Each and every file, even the folder itself, has a spot for ‘synopsis’ and ‘notes,’ which do not count into your overall word count. It’s really nice for keeping stuff out of the way. I’ve found I prefer having my notes as actual scene cards, but the notes section is handy for throwing important things. I also save the link to where I’ve posted stuff on tumblr for easy saving or research so I don’t lose anything.

If you do not have anything written in the synopsis section, the card will just show as much as the text as it can in a dark grey, rather than the black ink of the synopsis. I rarely use the synopsis section, so you can see all my documents just have the first bits of text.

On this screen you can start dragging around cards and move them however you think things need to line up. This works remarkably well if you write in a lot of small scenes, and need to reorganize because you realized that Tim needs to have a panic attack before he faces Ra’s. Or whatever. You can also reorganize at any point in the navigation pane itself. I drag stuff between folders all the time. That’s another reason I love having my notes on actual scene cards, because a lot of times I end up punting scenes off into the future, and it makes it way easier to drag and drop it into the next chapter folder to deal with later.

Another feature I really like is ‘targets.’

To get here, I selected the overall manuscript, and then switched to the third view option, up there next to the note cards option. It shows me my whole book this way, as well as the status of each folder or document (which I have to set myself.) It also shows me if I had a target word count, and how close I am to reaching it. I like my chapters to be about 3k words, so I make that my target. (set your target by clicking on the target icon on the bottom right corner of a document while in document view.) The purple goes from a dark purple to a lighter one the closer you get. (This is because I am using the ‘theme’ “Purple Haze.” The color is based on your theme. I forget what the default is.)

You can also set daily word goals, and up at the top, below the project’s name, it’ll show you progress toward that goal. I’ve written two words today.... so I don’t have a progress bar yet. The bar above the project’s name is for the overall word goal set. I have this project set to 100k.

I think that’s pretty much it. The only other feature I use regularly I haven’t mentioned is the split screen.

Basically, click where the arrows are pointing. When you’re in just regular view, it’ll look like a split screen, rather than a single document view button. When you hit it, it opens your currently selected document twice, on both sides of the screen. Click on the bar for the document you want to change and then select whatever you want from your navigation pane. I use this mostly for putting my notes on one side and my actual working document on the other. Yesterday I was using while revising, throwing anything I didn’t want anymore into my ‘trash pile’ by just dragging it across.

Once you’re done with something, you can run spelling and grammar check (because it does not check as you go, unless you go into settings and make it do that. It’s turned off by default. I find the squiggly lines distracting, so I love this feature) and use the various text tidying tools, such as the one that turns all multiple spaces into single spaces!

So yeah! That’s Scrivener. I love it so much. It has made writing so much easier. I wrote most of Life Happens in a single Microsoft Word document, and that was a huge mess and horrible and really difficult. I’ve written two long fics in their entirety now on Scrivener and I won’t ever go back.

Oh, and if anyone was curious, this is how I use Scrivener for my one shots: I just label the folders with the main relationship or the collection they’re from, rather than treated the folders like chapters. I then name the scene cards either with their actual titles or a brief description (if I didn’t give them titles) to let me know what’s been published and what isn’t done.

#Scrivener #writing advice #unqualified writing advice #:)#how i write #cait rambles

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thegothicviking · 4 years

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@ofmemesandbands tagged me to answer a few get-to-know-me questions. I have answered these before but I don't mind answering them again! Thanks! 🖤

Top 3 ships:

Catlasher from Deathstars (the singer Whiplasher Bernadotte and the guitarist Cat Casino.) I used to love this band for almost 10 years but they SCAMMED their fans almost 5 years ago. (Me included...) We bought something from them and we haven't recieved anything or a refund and they claim to have no money to even make what they lied to be selling. NOT COOL! So I'm not listening to them anymore. (The music has really gotten bad too so it's not just for the shitty singer scamming his fans. Cat Casino had already left and was not in the band then so I don't blame him. He is apparently back in the band now though). But even if Whiplasher scammed me, the Catlasher ship/pairing was my first introduction to fanfiction and slash/gay fics so this shipping still means alot to me. I even wrote a very cringy Catlasher fic myself but never uploaded it. Still have it on my computer somewhere. It's terrible! Ugh! 😂)

Paulchard or Tillchard but preferably Paulchard since my still ongoing Rammstein fic series contains a Paulchard marriage. (Not really a spoiler though...come on what else did you expect from these two??😍) I highly reccommend a NSFW Rammstein fic called "Fucking Lindemann" by someone named Holycow (or something like that.) But the title of the fic is "Fucking Lindemann". It's hilarious, very vividly written and so typical Till that I love it! (It includes a Paul, Reesh, Till threesome! 😏)

Jessie and James from Team Rocket. Yeah...nerdy and childish but I had a huuuuuge crush on James from the original first Pokémon series when I was a kid. Especially his voice during the 20 something first episode because the Norwegian voice actor was really good and had a soothing, handsome voice (??). But then they changed the voice actor and James started to sound very annoying! I didn't like that!

But yeah...there are some really good NSFW Jessie and James fics out there. (If you are not afraid of ruining your favorite children show! 😂)

Lipstick or chapstick: Chapstick. I am always too lazy to apply lipstick and my lips are very often dry so I need the Chapstick!🙄

Last song: Hold on let me check! *checking Spotify cus her A.D.D ass can't remember*

It was this one apparently

(it's paused now. So it' still "playing". I was driving with the shuffle mode on and didn't bother to change song.)

Last movie: I'm pretty sure that was BIG EYES (Directed by Tim Burton). It got shown on TV a night this year. The movie is based on a story about a female painter (Margaret Keane. She is still alive by the way!) famous for her portraits of children with big eyes. But her husband takes credit for them and she allows it for a very long time but struggles with guilt for lying to their daughter and the rest of the world about it.

Christoph Waltz is a brilliant actor (you probably remember him from Inglorious Basterds as this little shit;

Anyway. In BIG EYES he is a narcissistic, and very pshycologically abusive husband and father. And even though I loved the movie it was bittersweet since my ex was a narcissist and fake foney much like Christoph Waltz' character in the movie. That's why I know Herr Waltz did an excellent job!

Remove the husband's drinking problem and you pretty much HAVE my ex boyfriend. So brilliant acting! I HIGHLY reccommend this movie even though it is not the typical Tim Burton one.

Last book: currently reading the brilliant PERFUME by Patrick Süskind. (In English this time and not in Norwegian). The metaphors and descriptions are beautiful and the movie based upon the book really sucked!

I am SO happy I got to borrow it from my mom who's in a bookclub and recieves books on a monthly basis. So I had already read the book before the movie came to Norway. But now I have my own copy in English!

This book is a great inspiration for me, now that I am writing, and I keep taking photos of the pages with my phone because there are so many beautiful descriptions and comparisons and metaphors!

I recommend it so much!!

Thank you for tagging me! Even though many of my mutuals have probably already done this I want to tag @flakelli @paulschin @kya-kya-kya @reeshs and @lust-for-sacher .

#sorry for the long answer...#i blame my a d d #the viking gets tagged

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scifinal · 4 years

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DW s12e10: It's Quite Unfortunate That This Child Keeps On Regenerating

It's only fitting that the first post on a blog called "SciFinal" should be about a season finale.

Not that fitting is the fact that in said post I'm going to begin where it all started for me.

Part One: How I Even Got into This Mess of a Show in the First Place

While I call myself a huge Doctor Who fan, even a – *gasp* – Whovian, I must admit I am not as familiar with the franchise as I would like to be; I've seen the new show, I've seen Torchwood (though, admittedly, I had to force myself to finish the fourth season – but that's a story for another day), I've listened to a handful of audio dramas (including Kaldor City, which I consider to be canon for both DW and Blake's 7) – mostly Torchwood audio dramas, but who cares, – I've read a couple of comics, I've got a novel or two somewhere on my bookshelf, I've seen the first couple of seasons of the classic show, but that's about it. I can't say I grew up with it – it wasn't on TV when I was a kid, there isn't an official Ukrainian dub, et cetera, et cetera. I first heard about it when I was about thirteen, when my classmate did a project about something they liked – and was pretty dismissive of my peers' hobbies at the time, believing myself to be somewhat above them, so I didn't pay much attention.

Then somebody finally pressured me into watching it (I believe I was fifteen or something back then) and I loved it. The first two episodes of the first season, I mean. I watched those, texted my friend something like "consider me a Whovian now!" and abandoned the show completely only to return to it maybe several years later.

I loved it. This time, for real.

Doctor Who has been with me ever since that time, it has a big soft spot reserved for each and every Doctor ever in my heart, and for each and every companion. I know full well it's cheesy, and it's stupid, and it's technobabble-y, and it's glorious in all of its cheesy technobabble-y stupidity.

And I hate this finale.

Part Two: Doctor, Why

I hate this finale – because I hate Chris Chibnall. Mind you, not the gentleman himself (I don't even know what he looks like, and I can't be bothered to Google), I hate what he did to Doctor Who.

Now, when it was revealed that the would replace Steven Moffat I felt... nothing. What did you expect? I had no idea who the man was. I know now he's made Broadchurch, and I know he wrote a bunch of stuff for Torchwood back in the day, including Cyberwoman. I had to drop Broadchurch because of how well-handled the depressing atmosphere was, and I love the flawed, dumb, sexy-cyber-bikinied, almost-fifteen-minutes-of-Ianto's-whining-including (I know because some time ago I literally cut almost every single moment of Gareth David-Lloyd whimpering, moaning, groaning, screaming, and mugging at the camera out of the episode and made those bits and pieces into a beautiful clip show called "I HATE THIS" to explain exactly why his face was and still is so punchable) mindless fun that is Cyberwoman (this is also one of the two episodes in which they actually do something fun with the pterodactyl living inside Torchwood's underground base). The latter also led to the creation of one amazing in how it develops Ianto's character audio drama entitled "Broken". I love Broken. I am now forcing you to look at its cover because of how much I love it.

Here we go. Now, back to the point of me rambling pointlessly

In his video "Sherlock Is Garbage, and Here's Why", a well-known YouTuber hbomberguy pointed out how Steven Moffat's problem is that he is more than capable of writing a good one-off episodes, but ultimately fails at managing multiple complex, overarching stories, as visible when you look at the difference between Moffat's individual episodes and his run on the show.

Now, I believe that Chris Chibnall suffers from the same affliction: he's a good screenwriter but a terrible, terrible showrunner. Sure, he's made Broadchurch, but Broadchurch, in its essence, was a complete singular story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. There were no bigger, incomplete arcs expanding at the expense of other episodes, and the show did exactly what it was originally designed to do: it told an uninterrupted story.

Here comes Chris Chibnall's run on Doctor Who.

Now, while Steven Moffat was ultimately not very good at managing overarching stories, he tried to do so nonetheless, and the fans seemed to like his attempts. And while I can't be sure as to whether it was Chris' original vision for the show or he and his co-writers were merely trying to emulate Moffat, he attempted the same. A friend of mine has even pointed out how, to her, it was painfully obvious how the writers of the finale were desperately trying to copy Moffat's style (to give you some context, she grasped it from a 30-second clip of the CyberMasters' reveal, and that clip basically consisted of me filming my laptop's screen and laughing at their design, making the video wobbly and the audio distorted). At the time of writing this post this friend hasn't seen a single episode of Chibnall's era and, as far as I know, has no wish to do so – mainly because of two reasons that both have something to do with the finale:

Somebody's already spoiled it for her, so who cares;

I ranted to her about how shit this finale is and now she hates everything about Chibnall era.

I am very sorry for the latter, since I genuinely believe there are some nice episodes in these seasons, and I especially like the "historical" ones, they really are quite a lot of fun, I like Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison fighting badly CG-ed alien scorpions, I love Lord Byron and Mary Shelley running around a haunted house trying to escape from a Cyberman (even though it's all too similar to the Agatha Christie episode from Russel T Davies' run), I adore that episode about Rosa P–– oh, wait, no, that one was crap and ripped off Blake's 7... Anyway, I love Jodie Whittaker's Doctor, I am a big fan of Graham, I like Ryan just fine, and I can put up with Yaz, even though it's been two seasons and I've still got no idea what's her personality supposed to be, and I absolutely love the new Master (he reminds me of a cute little pug with a big Tommy gun). There is plenty of good stuff in these two seasons, they are lots of fun to watch, but this finale... Oh god, this finale.

Part Three: We Had All of Time and Space at Our Fingertips and We Ended Up with This

We are getting to the point of this whole thing. I would love to begin with the obvious, the twist, but there's so much wrong with this who-cares-how-many-parter than this one big thing.

It is inept. It is impotent. It is incompetent. It is bad at almost everything except its okay camera work, somewhat good (for a British TV show, I mean) effects, and its really solid performances.

Its editing is tone-deaf to the extreme. There is a moment in the final episode where Ko Sharmas asks who will be the first to cross the Boundary and step into the unknown, and immediately it cuts to Yaz walking towards it, all fast and silent. I would love to show you a clip of it, but I don't have one and I can't force myself to download the episode and sit through this shitshow again just to present you with a ten-second clip. Nonetheless, that part is not edited like a dramatic moment. You edit comedies this way. Bad comedies. Bad editors edit bad comedies this way.

Its plot is incoherent. There are several plot threads in this finale, and they're managed in a way that doesn't make the viewer care about all of them at the same time, rather the viewer goes "oh, I've completely forgotten this was happening" and then, before they can even begin to care, the show cuts to something else. It's all over the place and oh so annoying.

The plot armour is painfully obvious despite every attempt to disguise it. There wasn't a single, solitary second when I believed the Doctor was really going to sacrifice herself and, lo and behold, here comes the old guy ex machina to do it for her. The only questions I was asking at that moment were "How are the writers going to prevent the Doctor's death now that they've seemingly created themselves a way to go on forever?" and "How can Whittaker care so much about her performance in this scene she's literally almost crying?". I wholeheartedly related to the Master asking "So why are we still here?" and shout–– hiss–– mumbl–– whatever-ing "Come on, come on, come on!" – at that point I've suffered through at least forty-five minutes of utter nonsense, people going preachy, religious Cybermen with Dalek motivations, that absolutely ludicrous scene in the previous episode when the show was trying its worst to make me perceive autonomous flying Cyber-heads with laser eyes as a serious threat, a shit twist and... Oh.

I've got to finally touch on the shit twist, haven't I?

It doesn't make sense. No, I mean it. I guess it makes sense from the show's writers' standpoint to retcon everything in a way that would allow them to go on forever without having to come up with a way to circumvent limited regenerations, yes. And I won't be touching upon all the lore people say this twist has ruined. No. It doesn't make sense as it is.

The twist is revealed to us by a madman that claims to have hacked into a database, claims to possess control over the Doctor's mind, and gives the Doctor and the audience no actual solid proof that the Timeless Child is, indeed, the Doctor. We have Ruth, sure, and she's nice enough (damn, I want that vest), and she's a Timelord that happens to own a TARDIS that looks like a blue police telephone box, and she calls herself the Doctor. Here's Ruth:

I really like Ruth. She also makes no sense from the show's timeline standpoint, since the Doctor's Type 40 TARDIS only got stuck looking like a police box in 1963, so there's no reason for the Doctor to not remember being her.

We also know that the Judoon have identified Ruth as "the Fugitive"... except in one of their previous appearances in the show they weren't able to identify their targets exactly and thus were seeking out non-humans. There is a possibility that they were only looking for a Time Lord on Earth.

You know what? It's possible that Ruth is actually the Master messing with the Doctor. I have just as much proof of this as I have of the fact that the Doctor is some kind of an endlessly regenerating superbeing.

But this is not the most maddening thing here. I loathe it, but I don't loathe the twist itself: I loathe its lifelessness, I loathe how empty, how unemotional, almost robotic it feels. When somebody'd spoiled the finale for me, I got angry, and I started asking questions, and when later I saw the actual thing...

This gif. I can't even explain how accurate it is. I stood there, in the middle of my kitchen, episode paused, holding a cup of cold tea and desperately looking around as if in my surroundings I could somehow find that emotional reaction that this show failed to evoke. I was ready to burst into tears of how empty it felt, and how empty I felt, and how the same show that has Christopher Eccleston go from literally foaming at the mouth with pure hatred to shocked silence in a matter of second because of one sentence that you, a viewer, can't help but be astonished by failed to make me feel the tiniest speck of literally any emotion. And slowly, I felt that vast void in my chest fill with sheer, pure, flaming hatred for the person who made me feel nothing, for the story that left me not bored – but empty.

And the next moment, in its own unique way of being absolutely tone-deaf, the show introduces the CyberMasters, looking ridiculous, being asinine in concept, making me burst into laughter with their dumb design. Wow.

So.

Chris Chibnall's Doctor Who is no longer a show. Chris Chibnall's Doctor Who isn't even, as somebody on Stardust said, a fan fiction. It's a rollercoaster. A lackluster rollercoaster that lifts you from the vast caverns of frozen hell, devoid of any life whatsoever, soulless and abandoned, to the heavenly torture of being so bad, so utterly awful and ridiculous, that you can't help but laugh as you watch something you used to love be distorted and deformed to the point where you can't recognise it anymore nor really care. This is what Chris Chibnall's Doctor Who has become. And I'm going to continue my ride on that grotesque rollercoaster. I'm going to pirate that ride and get on it again. Because I'm a masochist. Because I want to feel something, even if it's hatred towards those that make me feel nothing.

Because some time ago my fifteen-year-old self watched the first season and learned a lesson that I hold dear after all these years – that I can't abandon hope, and that someday, somehow, things are going to get better. That the future is being written right now. That the future can change.

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #doctor who review #i hate this #review #sci fi

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