#and I decided to go with the short version

[the-truth-of-nothingness]

I am Veritas Ratio, avenger of supreme knowledge.

"The Genius Society-- what a foolish ambition, indeed. Knowledge is but the root of power itself. Perhaps I do not hold particular innovative qualities nor the desire to create and nurture new life forms, but I am far more than capable of yielding the unbridled force of all things known to exist."

Veritas Ratio had always been an underachiever-- quite a strange term for somebody like him. Always soaring to the top, and yet the top was never high enough. Nobody could best him, and yet he was constantly expected to be better, to surpass even himself.

Some called him crazy, others dedicated. He was always most adept at whatever he chose to do-- and having eight successful doctorates in such a short amount of time was no easy feat. And yet, he was ever the underachiever-- never to others, but to his parents and to himself.

Years of blood, sweat, and tears and that burning desire to be noticed-- and where did that get him? Rejected from the Genius Society. As if all his research suddenly meant nothing and was reduced to ashes before his own eyes, as if he were inferior.

Oh, how they had been wrong. The truth none of those almighty "Geniuses" wanted to face was that he was superior, to such a point where they feared him.

And so the doctor decided he was not to ally himself with any faction, leaving the Intelligentsia Guild and abandoning his dream to instead follow the path of Nihility, dedicating himself to the greatest cause-- knowledge.

For all that those Geniuses could not do, Veritas would bring the sheer power of what was and is down on all who were ignorant.

Some say the Nihility changed him completely-- realigning his views and stripping away his very humanity. There are many versions of this rumour, but one thing echoes through them all...

The man he once was is no longer recognizable.

Notes from the moderator:

~ Format, moodboard and writing by @serendipminie (mod of @aventurine-official)

Notes on this version of Veritas:

Exists in the same universe as @peacocks-pantomime

Follows the path of Nihility

The same morals and ideals, but much more unhinged

He can (and does) drink blood

Very canon divergent

Basic information on the mod:

Mod is an adult

Mod uses he/they

Mod also runs @veritas-ratio-rp

UTC+1

I'm still studying, replying depends on schedule even though I'm pretty addicted to my phone

Not going to use personalized tags, might add them later but I'm honestly too lazy for tags

Not affiliated with Hoyoverse, of course

Rules:

No smut (or at least put a warning or something? Idk how does this work here), suggestive is fine (I'm honestly fine with anything, but minors can see this blog, so keep it SFW, please)

Discrimination of any kind won't be tolerated

Everyone is welcome here

Ships are fine, must be age appropriate of course

He's gay, I won't do straight ships because of personal preferences

#intro post #pinned post #hsr oc #honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail oc #dr ratio #dr veritas ratio #dr ratio hsr #honkai star rail dr ratio

[royalarchivist]

Phil: What I find really funny about it is that like, the QSMP logo for some reason– like, the little- this thing, this thing, they class as an Egg for some reason on the website, which- which—

Phil: Now I'm a little bit concerned about because on the server, I have one of these in the game. I have one of these in the game. So does that mean I have three Eggs now? Have I accidentally adopted another Egg?

Phil: I need help!

Phil realizes he might be a single dad of not two, but three Eggs because of a technicality on the QSMP.Shop website.

#QSMP #Philza #Phil #RIP in piss #March 27 2024 #Pissa #Mentioned #Edited #EDIT: Quick reupload because there was a rendering error #and I decided to go with the short version #Having some weird audio issues with Vegas sorry about that. Audio should be fine but it's not as HD as usual

[pestilentbrood]

VERY long Ramble incoming

honestly now that I'm looking at the auraboa lore situation, I'm just disappointed. There was such POTENTIAL in the idea of the Loop and the horror of a new generation inexplicably being disconnected from it, forcing the newly hatched children into a world totally separate from that perceived by their parents (I mean, hell, they perceive TIME differently!).... but then the writer(s?) just fell ass backwards into Icky Tropes.

I feel like I can see what the idea was, especially with the recent alterations to the Encyclopedia entry... It seems like staff fundamentally understands the true Horror potential here, but... Instead, through the short story, they proposed it through the lens of a condescending outsider character, turning the fears of the older generation into something trivial. And also weirdly demeaning the Auroboa's situation by portraying them as overreacting.

Why... why would you do that? Like, from a storytelling perspective? What's gained from that? Why not embrace the true horror and even Emotional significance of that disruption? Why instead go for "ohh we NEED outsider help we NEED to be saved because we are so helpless and it is so Silly that we, creatures who have never experienced such things, do not know what sleep is"????

And if they WANTED to have a condescending outsider, I feel like they COULD have done that, but it would have to have that character realize the horror at some point. And make it obvious that their attitude towards distressed parents and children facing Eldritch Shit and the Sudden Deconstruction of it was not cool!

(or at the very least be a bit more...idk. Consistent with said outsider character? Juniper just goes from "omg I am so honored that the fascinating creatures of the behemoth have chosen me to speak to" to "oh their wasting my time because they don't know what sleep is. I'd rather be sleeping!! 🙄" like girl... c'mon now. Why are we trivializing it like this. Do you want me as the reader to be invested in their plight or not.)

I mean come on. They're beings connected through one networked hivemind-like system, yet each still maintains a silver of individuality that allows them to move freely throughout the Behemoth that they care for. And they've got an eldritch understanding of time that no other dragon could understand. They're seeing the future, past, and present unfold simultaneously. They're witnessing the birth and death of the world at the same time, and have no way to communicate it to other dragons. The best they can do is maintain their home, and even then, they see its roots spread and decay all at once.

And then the newest generation is suddenly disconnected. An inherent link between parent and child and all dragons in-between, that has existed since the creation of their species, is just suddenly GONE for the newest births. With NO explanation for it. The children have no easy way of communicating with their parents. The children are experiencing time in a way that was not meant for their species. They've forcefully been shoved into a circadian rhythm that they are Not! Built for!

The only way a parent could communicate properly with their child would be when the latter is sleeping, something that is also completely foreign to this species. It would be terrifying for all involved!!!

They are literally experiencing eldritch horror from the perspective of the eldritch being forced into the mortal.

Like why WOULDN'T there be panic!!! And why would that panic be trivialized! Why are we only shown the perspective of an outsider who looks at this situation and goes "Oh the silly tree beasts are being so silly over nothing, it's no big deal!"

That and the way the auraboas talk to outsiders. Like. There was such potential there. Real opportunity to explore how ancient, time-bending beings would communicate to someone who couldn't even BEGIN to understand the intricacies of it.

Instead we got what feels more like baby talk (even described as though they were hatchlings enunciating their first words, which... I dunno man, maybe we don't want to compare them to children like That) and less like... Beings that experience all of time at once. I mean, the hatchlings and the adults speak the exact same way, and that doesn't make any sense given the literal time barrier going on.

I totally get why people thought there was just a language barrier and that auraboas had their own language, thus causing the disjointed speak, and not that it was because They Do Not Experience Time Like We Do. And I feel it would've been far easier to get it across by just... I dunno. Do anything else?? I saw someone on here suggest they speak in the "wrong" tenses, or using multiple tenses in the same sentence, which I think would've been far more clear.

Like, as opposed to "saplings wilt! saplings silent!" just "the saplings will wilt in silence, they've wilted in silence, they are wilting silently." Said all at once like all things are true simultaneously. And if we're going for hivemind, have each auraboa speak in a different tense, all at the same time, and have them switch it up every time. Have our outsider get confused and be like "which is it? are they wilting now, or have they already wilted?" and the cluster of auraboas respond in a cacophony of yes's, no's, and maybe's all at once.

Would've probably gotten across the "alien" vibe they were supposedly going for far better than wide-eyed desperation for an outsider's guidance conveyed through disjointed, in-world described as baby speech.

And also maybe would've had less accidental connotations. Because as it stands, I completely see why people have made the connections to the real world where they have. This doesn't read like eldritch timey-wimey intrigue, or even a respectful look at how younger generations can become detached from their families' cultures over time and the struggles that come with it. It reads like a culture being perceived by an ignorant outsider who (despite supposedly respecting these dragons) scoffs and rolls their eyes because the tree beasts with their funny words are being silly again, and that Hey, isn't it actually a great thing that the children are fundamentally different in all manners now? Because now they can join the rest of us in the "real world."

Yknow. Ick.

(I Personally think it would've been better to have the perspective be one of the Auraboas themselves, especially one of the children, to really understand what was going on here. Give us the full brunt of the mind of a creature experiencing all of time interwoven as one shape. The waters fall and the oceans crash with waves. They've now fallen to drought. The ocean has yet to be born. Caves have been carved out through the waters' currents. And when I break from this timeline, I open my eyes to see a child, the child not yet born, the child born now, the child born yesterday. Why can't I hear it? Why couldn't I hear it? Why won't I ever hear it?)

I dunno. People more qualified than me to speak on this matter have already torn the lore apart, I'm just... dropping my own two cents. Potential got weirdly squandered and we ended up instead with unfortunate implications and tropes that could be connected a liiiittle too awkwardly to irl situations.

*Also, before anyone points out: Yes, I know the hatchlings aren't COMPLETELY detached from the Loop and can join it when they sleep. But the fact is, these thangs never had to sleep before. That wasn't in their species' nature. So that's still weird and foreign for them on both sides. And since the hatchlings now have a circadian rhythm, they can't stay connected to the loop permanently. And also Also, seeing as the previous generations aren't experiencing time linearly, who's to say they even recognize when their child joins the loop? They'll speak with an echo of their child when that child was last asleep ages ago, not knowing that it's not them presently, because there is no 'present' for the older generations.

#i also really really do not understand the ''word count'' explanation given by staff. #I'm honestly rather lenient with ignorance happenings like this so long as they're remedied but. #cutting out important details of lore Fundamental to the understanding of it? For? ''Word count''? #Like firstly. Surely someone on the team is skilled enough to pull that off right? To get all that needs to be said in a short story? #but secondly. w. why is there a word count limit to begin with. This is Your House. Why are you limiting yourself unless this is like #a paid-by-word situation and they don't have the money to afford something longer #but like it feels like shooting yourself in the foot if you're going to write something that leaves a ton of information vague instead of #properly explaining your lore so there's no unfortunate misunderstandings. But I dunno. I'm just rambling #flight rising #fr auraboa #I'll probably be incorporating my Own version of the lore regardless of what the staff decides to do with this presentation of it #or just ignoring it outright hskdgjhskjh we shall See #Also if anything I've said here is Wrong in some way or comes across ignorant in and of itself. Let me know

[samarecharm]

Fake Dating for an event but make it Makoann

MAYBE its preparation for Shidos palace? Getting intel on some people on his hitlist before infiltrating for real?

Originally Akira was willing to take Makotos place, but there were concerns that someone would recognize him through the makeup. “Shido KNOWS your face; we cant risk that.”

Futaba doesnt go for very obv reasons (agoraphobic), but also, she needs to have a live feed of everything being said incase they need to leave the event early. And Haru cant go bc shes the daughter of Okumura; she would be recognized immediately. Makoto is simply the best choice given the (unfortunate) circumstances.

Normally, they would joke about Ann’s acting; but shes a model and she knows how to act appropriately in these kinds of situations. Its not an act, its her Job, and its kind of wild for Makoto to see her effortlessly mingle w so many important and intimidating people without a care in the world. Makoto finds herself less stressed about the event because of it, and perhaps even a little emboldened 😳

Bonus Doodle under the cut (drawn before the images up top)

#persona 5 #makoann #ann takamaki #makoto niijima #arts #funny bc it started w me trying to make some very nice and simple outfits for ann #and the dress n clutch looked really nice. like nice enough to be a unassuming outfit to wear at a fancy event #and like. i DONT have a legit place i could see this happening ingame; shido was kind of last minute #but then. i dunno. i feel like futabas hacking skills were pretty underutilized in the game #shes sneaky but thats about It #i need her making up fake credentials and IDs for her team #and making vip invitations for them to get wherever they need to go #yeah they have haru bc shes rich but WHY make her go through all that? #if anything i feel like she would be helpful to give futaba some people to search #and businesses owned by those people #anyway. rambling #i had a version of that second image w makoto resting her hand on anns butt bc shes so short and ann is Big #and ann teasing her for it #but decided against it bc i think makoto would be so paranoid about accidentally grabbing her ass LMAO #also. i guess TECHNICALLY they would be drinking. but they are also pretending to be in their 20s #as like. up n coming investors or whatever. so ann is like ‘makoto this is one time where i need u to not be a narc.’ #imagining makoto carrying a full cup w her the entire event bc she almost audibly gagged when she sipped the alcohol #ann just takes from her cup from time to time bc shes just like that (shares food n drinks w ryuji and akira all the time) #but makoto is like. good lird. indirect kiss. #its made more apparent when anns lipstick stains the glass a bit #makoto: what the hell did i get myself into. jesus.

[sysig]

My ship now (Patreon)

#Doodles #Pajama Sam #Florette #Luke Wigglebig #Flukette #I decided that since I'm the only one on the whole internet shipping these two that I could make up my own ship name lol #What do you /mean/ no one is shipping these characters from a children's game from two decades ago who barely speak to each other??? #Lol #I know what I'm about #These were mostly getting-used-to-again doodles since I haven't drawn them in like a year ahhh I've missed them! More than I realized #Still using Luke's classic design rather than my constrast-maker on his jacket haha #It's fun and looks good but it can be a pain to draw sometimes lol - simple is the way to go! #They've both got that in spades ♪ Cute to-the-point designs :D I always wish for more Luke in the game tho...You don't even rescue him.... #Anyway lol mostly silliness! The first inspired the second can you tell lol #What if Florette was tall but not actually lol #To be fair she probably could've been tall - broccoli isn't naturally short! That's the supermarket precut version! #She could be leggy for all we know lol - I do like her height difference with Luke tho #All the better to pick her up and give her a smooch! #Or in the case of her having arms - the jacket returns! Although I think I only posted the original to my alt :0 - then to drag him down >:3 #Get him on your level! #Why is she threatening to kill him? Banter (lol) #She's a real threat now that she has access to limbs #And a slightly more friendly drag him down ♪ I love reaching towards each others ahhh <3 #He can rest a hand on the ground and still be upright to kiss her lol #To be fair it's probably a pain to stand from sitting or laying when your ''leg'' is just a continuation of your torso #And then a last couple chibis <3 I'd like to make some Humongous Entertainment style pixel art based on them ♪ #Also ft. their design swaps! Which were also posted to my alt lol #She's just so cute with those big cartoony eyes gazing up at him ♥

[bonbongiveshell]

Sometimes you gotta draw clowns being rly somft okay???? I care them….

Scandalous paintless version under the cut

Also these two belong to @birchbow, not me, pls read their fic it’s v good

#my art #by the time I went hunting for full body versions of their outfits I’d already decided uderak should be in tight lil shorts #troll ocd be damned my boys got ass #daily reminder to go read price of forgiveness it’s very good and these two are in it #I don’t post even half the fan art I draw of this fic so just be grateful you’re not getting bombarded with #murder clowns all day #I think my fav part about my style is drawing spicy or angst or serious things in the most steamboat willie ass slapstick cartoon manner #I possibly can

[ratgirlcopia]

sometimes the greatest blow to the ego is recognizing that my ideal 100k canon compliant copia fic would be boring as all hell.

#copiaposting #real ones may remember the thing i started in. man i dunno. august? earlier? that has since been deleted from my ao3. #because i decided i disliked literally every part of it that related to the ministry having ANY sort of lore. #the ideal version of that really would have just been copia learning how to live alone and go grocery shopping. #and have a thing with that bear i made up. #but because the entire “why is this even happening” justification i came up with for it started to annoy me SO BAD i just had to scrap it. #the plan was to revisit it with a justification i liked better that had zero reliance on fanon nonsense i absorbed via osmosis. #but then i wrote conundrum (favorite fic i've ever written of All Time Ever) instead so no complaints there. #i think long form canon compliant copiafic just isn't in the cards for me but i do like putting out a random short gender fic occasionally.

[elympios]

main lrb: I’d explain my Kresniks blood drinking AU if I knew how to make it more subtle about being a blood drinking AU

#v #x2 #amb #the short version was that it helps delay catalysation #ludger has no idea its weird for your brother to routinely do blood draws from you all your life #by the time he’s aware enough to be like ‘wtf is that about‘. well it’s julius... #(and the thought of julius depending on someone else for that makes ludger feel Something™) #anyway ludger figures it out during the game (partially because. i havent decided yet but victor may be doing the same thing to elle) #and doesnt say anything to the rest of the party (but they suspect esp once they find out about elle) #until ch15 when ludger tackles julius and tries forcefeeding him bc he’s that distraught #anyway i love blood drinking. love tying it into batshit gen dynamics. #i will now go back to being normal about things 😅

[tiredassmage]

also i promise i'll hopefully. sometime this week [maybe this month. this week is busy. maybe by the end of the month is a more feasible goal. anyway] actually manage to translate whatever the fuck is going on between alucren and tyr [one-sided as hell, btw] out of my dms and into like. a tumblr post but i just. i just need you all to know he's a delight and he's an idiot and he's my hamster running endlessly on a wheel and also he's a bag of m&m's that's stuck in the vending machine and i'm shaking him around. anyway.

you can, however, have this in the meantime.

and my single incoherent, possibly, without context giggle about them tonight is both of them are so fucking imperial sometimes in. usually slightly different flavors of it but also somewhat similar but also. shakes them. [laminated paper wobble noises] y'know?

anyway alucren's a fucking loser and i love him.

#dot talk #i'm having a blast okay the time of my life #and its HILARIOUS and its great bc i'm having EMOTIONS bc JOEL AND I FOUND THE SECRET SAUCE #but at least for now my brain refuses to like. repeat what its already said even if its just copy + paste so like. i'm so sorry #the lore exists and i want to share it but the sharing department in my brain is like on a lunch break or smth #actually apparently what it wants to do is leave lore in the tags like a treasure hunt so. #the short version is i think i've caught alucren in one hell of a case of imposter syndrome #and what this has manifested as - instead of dealing with any of his issues bc he's. so imperial. nobility about it god anyway #instead of working through that he's decided he's going to put that into homoerotic jealousy of tyr and my god. man does not realize #how not straight of him that is. alucren. babe. its a) all in your head and #b) thinking 'if i kiss him bet that'd shut him up' is neither as straight as you think it is #nor a suitable method for dealing with your boss but kinda not boss but definitely still coworker in sith intel okay #so like. this is what i've been dealing with. i wanna dome him over the head with a paper towel tube. #tyr meanwhile in the other corner of the office just minding his sweet business. willfully or just blatantly unknowing of alucren's deal #its just. its hilarious one day i'd love to be able to share all of it

[ravensroleplays]

Random Observation:

Okay, quick disclaimer: I haven’t gotten very far in the Security Breach: Ruin DLC yet by which I mean I haven’t watched all of Markiplier’s videos. However, the other day I ended up running into a spoiler regarding the ‘Gregory’ Cassie talks to in the game.

And given the circumstances, I...can’t help but be reminded of the very first time I wrote Ian.

#mun speaks #fnaf security breach #sb ruin #my fnaf au #first of all believe it or not the first story i wrote ian my foxy kid in actually WASN'T in my fnaf fanfic poor little souls #it was actually in a creepypasta fanfic i was writing at the time #this was around the time fnaf first came out and was starting to get big so i was slowly getting interested in it #and i came up with the idea for what the ghost kid possessing foxy would be like in my version #and at some point i decided to have a short fnaf subplot in my creepypasta fanfic #i.e. the creepypasta characters (who btw were good characters in the story) get a call from a little boy named ian #who was supposedly being held captive at freddy fazbear's pizzeria #a few of them headed to the pizzeria to save the kid only to get ambushed by eyeless jack and the animatronics (sans foxy) #ej explains what the animatronics really are; 'foxy' shows up to save ticci toby and sally; and takes them to pirates' cove #and sally figures out that the kid who called them has in fact been dead the whole time and is in foxy #wow this got long heh #also i decided to put in a quick reference to fnaf earlier in the story but that was before #but that was before i decided to go ahead and make it a whole thing #tw: dead child mention

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

What fanfic do you wish you got more response on?

Hmm, there's a few one-shots I'm surprised didn't receive more reception than I expected but I'm not too bothered by it.

I would name Heard No More as one I'd love to receive more response on but in my experience, 1-5k one-shots tend to gain a lot of traction on tumblr over multi-chapter/10k+ fics.

Like I was happily surprised at the response Gibbous got on AO3 when I posted the most recent chapter, but then like. It's tumblr version only received like 5 notes. Part of that is because I didn't reblog it as much/add it to my pinned fic list, but even so.

My plans, however, with Heard No More is to finish the overall AU (By The Pricking of My Thumbs), edit it and then release it onto AO3 serially

#kat answers #anon #I've shared it before but i simply think oneshots work better on tumblr #because it's short form content that is easily consumable #long form fic content that isnt a comic tends to suffer on tumblr #i think due to the horrible navigation of this site for content like that #plus people are most likely to go to ao3 wanting long fic content #additionally on ao3 people can specifically subscribe to receive updates/alerts for a specific fic #the tumblr version of that is tag lists but its a massive pain on the author to manage it #then you also have the awkwardness if a person wants to stop being on a tag list #but doesnt want to hurt the author's feelings by telling them #when on ao3 i have no idea who is on my ao3 subscribe list other than the number of people #btw heard no more is technically a 15k oneshot but ehhhh it was for a big bang #and i didnt want to put up with multiple posts #and i havent released it onto ao3 because i want to edit it #and also decide if i want it in a series or as one big fic

[toastshark]

POV the merchant you tried to steal from can do dark magic

You have nine seconds to return the item before they stop acting nice

…alright so I might have come across an art challenge where you draw something with your screen set to greyscale throughout the entire process and got a bit carried away. Just maybe. A tiny bit.

Featuring: the only one of my characters I can draw fairly consistently, messiness equally because of laziness and ✨style✨, me making everything harder by only using colors from a palette I made by picking colors and mixing them with the smudge tool, 55 layers with 12 just being different attempts at drawing his eyes, and a surprisingly decent attempt at trying out a perspective! (further proof to use references- posing apps and AdorkaStock exist! And take photos of yourself if you cant find good ones; it’s how I figured out how the hands supposed to look! :D)

Anyways, hopefully the image above is the one where I also added a greyscale filter onto the drawing itself (cuz as of writing this the screen filter‘s still on) and ngl it looks pretty good in grey! Yea it’s not perfect, but I’m still kinda proud ^^

#my art lol #oc drawing #original character do not steal [tm] #oc: Mage #(behold! He‘s got a name!) #greyscale version (hopefully) #not mentioned: six different layers for the shading #and three for the white shine of the eye cuz I couldn’t decide which style to choose with #a white dot in the center of the pupil also looked really cool #but the style reminded me of something and I just couldn’t put my finger into it #wait no I remembered it’s the pokegacha app some of the characters I main have the same type of eye shine. #also please don’t ask what the heck’s going on with my art style here- I don’t know either #^hey this challenge seems fun I can try it out real quick I said #^it‘ll be fast and a nice short break from the requests^ I said #Lies- all lies- this took me 2.5h and I didn’t even clean anything up #oof

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

.

#Anon about what Louis said about Zayn and Liam #I'm not going to post #because your comment about therapy was a bit of a beserker button for me #and I decided anything I published would be too mean #(short version - it's none of our business if Louis is in therapy #and therapy is not the main cause of maturity or growth #and maturity and growth is not the main outcome of therapy)

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

i keep wanting to use my queue for whatever i’m going to re-gif, but i also want to post them sooner than that but i already posted the lesser quality versions of the things so it’s not a big deal to post them right away but i still want to post them but i also want to keep my queue full.

i have a PROBLEM

#me #i will use the queue for regiffing concerts #which i have been thinking about a lot lately #but the music videos #they're short #i might just post those instead of throwing them into the queue #i don't THINK i have to redo abduction because that video wasn't that bad when i did it #although #i don't know maybe i'll compare them and decide later #but either way i'm sure nobody will mind seeing gifs from it again if i decide to #it is a fun video #and i would very much like to go through it again #but i think i'll save that for after i do the ones i feel need it more #man of sorrows is one i am very much looking forward to #i was so upset that i couldn't find a good CLEAN version of that #there was one but it froze up at a certain point #and the other one had a big name across the screen #oh i also still have to do back from the edge #which will be very interesting #not sure if i should do inertia again #that video had so much fade #i love that song though #and i feel like the tower was fine but i don't care because i want to do it again for no reason other than because i love it #and the fact that the new video is hd is a good excuse #tattooed tillionaire tears of the dragon all the young dudes #i want to do those again too #i'm hoping more get uploaded eventually

[unpretty]

a fact about me is that i was an early bloomer who hit puberty in elementary school and was immediately, obnoxiously horny in ways that were uncomfortable for everyone because no one is prepared for an elementary schooler with b cups and a deep fascination with movies where people get tied up. another fact is that because i was considered smart for my age in the ways that mattered, i just accepted all this as a single package, the many ways that i was not really a child the way other children were children but was instead a miniature adult. i was technically a child, but not really, as far as i was concerned. it also did not occur to me until around high school that i was fat, because i instead considered myself to be sturdy, to be buff, to be built like a tank.

so somewhere around middle school i am noticing the ways in which i am Not Like Other Girls, the ways in which i am not what society says a girl is and the ways that things marketed to girls do not appeal to me. i don't know how other girls dealt with this, but i very rationally decided that i was only technically a girl, in the way that i was only technically a child. so i looked at the things that did appeal to me, and that i did enjoy, and reverse engineered my demographic to decide that on a practical and functional level i was a middle-aged man. i had also gotten really hornily into wolverine because of the first x-men movie, and ended up reading a lot of comics, so as you can imagine the comic book version of wolverine who is short and built like a tank and older than he looks despite being for all intents and purposes a middle aged man really had some appeal to me.

there are idiots who say shit about how tomboys would be considered trans these days or whatever, but i can assure you that was not what was happening here. by middle school i already had to special order bras and i was fine with that because of the many weird fetishes i was developing, none of which can be blamed on the internet because i hadn't found that shit yet and also to this day you would have a hard time finding anything similar to the things i wrote in my secret notebook and immediately destroyed. the fact that i was technically a girl was vital to all this. media where there was a big reveal that some cool dude had been a hot chick the whole time was my shit. weird feral beast people who turned out to be hot women once they took a bath? fuck yes. i would never have cut my hair because that would have ruined my chances to take off a helmet and reveal that i had girl hair. at no point did i think i was anything but a girl, it was just that i was functionally a middle-aged man, who was a girl.

what this means is that i still liked all the things i already liked, such as leather jackets and comic books and anime and old stand-up comedy, but i also did extensive research on the other things i felt i should like according to the demographic i had assigned myself. i watched vh1's 'i love the 70s' with the air of someone trying to hide their amnesia, even though my parents were children in the 70s. i got into the beatles. i tried to get into cars for a while before accepting that i only liked the vintage car aesthetic and couldn't be fucked to know actual car facts. i wore nothing but cargo shorts and aloha shirts for a while, which didn't really stand out that much because it was middle school. i bought a fedora and became a libertarian atheist. i made plans to buy a motorcycle (i could not ride a bike).

i gave up on it after a while because quite frankly my titty situation meant there was never really going to be a big reveal that i'd been a girl the whole time. it was pretty obvious even with the cargo shorts. also the older of a teen i was, the more likely it felt that i could maybe get laid, except i could tell that was never going to happen as long as i kept wearing cargo shorts. it took longer to give up the fedora because it was leather and i wore it with my leather jacket and fingerless gloves, which i convinced myself worked a lot better after i'd gone full high school goth. i lived in the desert so you can imagine how well that worked out for me, smell-wise.

anyway that's how my female socialization went, i don't think it was particularly successful tbqh

#original #the funniest part to me is the vh1 thing #i watched so much vh1 while inexplicably behaving as if i was already familiar with everything i was seeing

[genshin-obsessed]

Helloooo~!! Could I request the men in honkai star rail with an s/o who makes various different plushies for themselves and the men?

Just imagine Dan Heng getting a chonky dragon plushie version of himself.

✩ ‒ You guys have the most creative ideas sometimes lmao I would’ve never thought of this and it is such a cute idea!!

✩ ‒ I wasn't going to do everyone but they came out really short so I made it up by adding more characters ^w^

✩ ‒ Characters: Caelus, Dan Heng, Welt, Gepard, Sampo, Luocha, Jing Yuan, Blade

✩ ‒ Caelus

He’s not the biggest plushie guy out there, but come on. You made it so cute and all.

He keeps it safe in his room and does a pretty good job at keeping it clean. Like dust free and all.

Caelus isn’t ashamed of it by any means, everyone knows about it. He just doesn’t want to end up tearing it or something which is why it's always in his room.

Big fan. You made a couple of yourself and he keeps them together. They're together like the two of you are. He’s debating on getting a dedicated shelf.

✩ ‒ Dan Heng

He originally received two. One of his normal self and then his Vidyadhara half. It’s so accurate, too. He definitely spent a few hours analyzing them both.

He wasn’t sure at first but the longer he had it, the more he began to like it. He kinda sleeps with it now. I mean... they're just on his bed and that's where he sleeps...

You’re welcome to make more but he doesn’t have room to place them. Besides… how many could you possibly make?

He actually likes the little dragon one. It’s so cute, the details are well done, and you seem to really like it too.

✩ ‒ Welt

Aww, a plushie for him? It was so cute! It even had his lil cane and all. Honestly, Welt loves it.

He keeps it with him all the time. When you often go off on missions, he likes to hold it for comfort.

When you made one of yourself, he decided the plushies could never be separated- much like you two. So, basically now he carries two plushies with him at all times.

Pom Pom and Himeko gush over the cuteness of the plushie. You’re really talented, why not start a business at this point? You'll definitely get March or Stelle asking for one too.

✩ ‒ Gepard

He was confused at first. Why did you make a plushie of him? But he really liked it. You even got the shield right.

He prefers it to stay at home where his fellow guards can’t see it because it’s a little embarrassing. He’s a grown man and all.

Ok, but it’s so cute. The little hair, the outfit- the shield! Come on? How is he supposed to remain composed? He will stare at it sadly when he has to go to work.

He had to admit, when you made one of yourself it felt complete. The plushies are always sitting together on his bed. Sometimes, he'll even put a blanket over them to keep them warm.

✩ ‒ Sampo

Omg once he gets one, it's on his person permanently. He loves seeing you work on them, too. It gives him a perspective on how much work you put into them

He’ll give suggestions all the time and you do make most of them. You often make yourself as well and it leads to lots of matching plushies.

Sampo did try to make one himself but it looked horrendous. He tried to throw it away but you wouldn’t let him!

That thing haunts his dreams but you like it for whatever reason. Honestly, Sampo takes that thing everywhere and even learned how to wash it properly.

✩ ‒ Luocha

The accuracy. His hair, eyes, outfit, the coffin- it even opens! Like, the effort that went into that was phenomenal.

Luocha is a big fan and does keep the plushie with him during his travels but keeps it hidden. It's something that reminds him of you (ironic since it looks like him).

He’s rather protective of the plushie. Someone once tried to take it and well… he almost stuffed them in the coffin. Lmao jk.

… ok, he did it once and never again, you can’t judge him, that’s his plushie. You gave it to him, not that rando. And no, it wasn't a kid! Why do people keep asking him that?

✩ ‒ Jing Yuan

Mind blown. Seriously, the talent that took was incredible! You even made a Lightning Lord plushie which attaches to the Jing Yuan one.

He keeps them on his desk at work and no one is allowed to touch them. He's worried others might damage them, but he wants to show them off at the same time.

He keeps the one you made of yourself with him though. It’s his good luck charm. Much like you.

Secretly hates tearing apart the plushie version of you and him. Heartbreaking when they have to see each other go. Sniff.

✩ ‒ Blade

Ok, listen. This is Blade we’re talking about. He can’t just be seen carrying a plushie- and of himself, no less. It’s embarrassing.

Is what he thought until he saw how sad you got when you found out he left it in a drawer. On the pain in his heart…

Now he keeps it on his person all the time. He even learned how to wash it because it’ll get dirty sometimes. No blood gets on it though, don't worry. Just some minor dirt or something.

For tougher missions, he puts the plushie in a plastic bag to keep it safe. It’s like a good luck charm of his. He lost it once and he almost had a heart attack.

#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #caelus x reader #dan heng x reader #jing yuan x reader #blade x reader #hsr luocha x reader #sampo x reader #gepard x reader #welt yang x reader #hsr jing yuan #hsr blade #hsr sampo #hsr caelus #🖊─ pocky’s writings #gender neutral reader