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#and also I'm painfully stubborn so can't just accept not finding it
middleearthpixie · 2 years
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Hi! For the fanfiction writing asks: 24, 41, 57💙
Okay... these were tough... :) But I accept the challenge of answering!
24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?
This depends on whose story I think the overall story starts with. And sometimes that doesn't work. I find if I'm struggling with a scene or a chapter to the point where I just can't make the words come, 9 times out of 10, it's because I'm in the wrong POV, so I change it.
41. Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?
If we are talking OC, my favorite is a toss up between Arielle from More Than Meets the Eye and Leda from Playing With Fire because I think they break heroine stereotypes. Neither one is perfect and is painfully aware of their shortcomings and Leda is like just about every alpha hero instead.
If we're not talking OC, I love to write Thorin because I think he's far more complicated than even Tolkien wanted him to be. He should, by all rights, be bitter and hateful after everything he's lost, but he isn't. He still puts others before himself, even when it's at great risk to him. He is stubborn and protective and responsible, and I like showing that he also has a softer, more playful side as well.
57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?
I'm not conscious of it at all. It isn't usually until after I've finished something and am rereading it that I can see any symbolism (and I swear, sometimes I'm gobsmacked when someone else points out something I just never saw.) Foreshadow just... happens. I'm a pantser by nature, so I have little to no idea what's going to happen in a fic until I actually write the scene. So when foreshadowing makes it in there without my knowing it, I'm usually pretty shocked.
Thank you for these! I need a drink after all this thinking.... :)💜
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shrews-things · 3 years
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In need of help from ppl familiar with Russian literature/Anna Akhmatova's poetry :]
I'm looking for a poem in Russian and I haven't been able to find it for hours now. I have an Anna Akhmatova poetry collection in Hungarian, copy from 1978, and in it there's a poem titled "distant voice" that seemingly has two parts. I tried to find it in Russian and I managed to find the first part of it, titled "Сказал, что у меня соперниц нет" but the second part is nowhere to be found.
From this I'm guessing that they're separate poems that for some reason got translated together? It's about love, I haven't been able to find even the English translation, but the starting line would be something like "long ago, when love ignited in our damned hearts like cross of an altar"
The Hungarian translation is this:
Régen, mikor kigyúlt a szerelem
elítélt szívünkben oltárkeresztként
szelíd galamb-asszonyként nem hajoltál
szívemre: tépted keselyű-karommal.
Átok bűnével, első hitszegéssel
ittad szomjuhozó társadat.
De itt az idő zöld szemedbe nézni,
kegyetlen ajkadtól hiába kérni
édességes igét, vagy olyan esküt,
amilyet még soha senki se mondott,
amilyet nem hallottál még te sem.
És miközben megmérgeztem a forrást
a pusztaságban vizet keresőnek,
eltévedtem magam is, szomjan égek,
a sötétben a forrást nem lelem.
Halált iszik, aki a vízre hajlik.
De szomját a halál sem oltja el.
If anyone has guesses maybe reply or message me, I'd really really appreciate it <3
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itsmiyamore · 3 years
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A little too late
Character: Miya Atsumu
Genre: Angst
Summary:
Atsumu realizes he doesn't want to let you go.
a/n: Part 2 of "the price for your love" but I think it can be read as a standalone (?) I hope you like it !!
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Atsumu had always known what he wanted his future to be. He had goals for after graduating, working hard through his school years to meet his dreams.
Growing up is a real pain, he realizes, as his friends chatter about their plans, each sending them in different directions. Osamu chose to leave volleyball, Suna continued but chose a different team from Atsumu. You had gotten accepted into your dream school, far away from Atsumu and the memories of your childhood. He was proud of you of course, everyone was.
The night before graduating, you, the twins, and Suna all snuck out in the middle of the night. Suna had somehow been roped into stealing his grandparent's truck for a final escapade before the flurry of packing. The four of you had screamed and laughed and cried, extending your arms to each other and the stars. Drunk on nostalgia and hope.
Atsumu's girlfriend, too, was spreading her wings. It was a mutual breakup; it still broke his heart all the same. Lucky he had you there to hold him.
He really had taken you for granted, Atsumu realizes. And now that he had to let you go, he realized he didn't want to.
The two of you hadn't talked since graduation, since your profession of love for him, since he left you in silence with no answer and a million questions. Two weeks, nothing in the grand scheme of things but Atsumu is young and has forever in front of him. It's silent without you, and he thinks they're the longest two weeks of his life.
Atsumu's feet began to take him down a familiar path, one he could likely take even while asleep. Your house stood before him, light coming from behind the closed curtains.
When you answered the door, he wasn't surprised when you stiffened up at the sight of him.
"Wait, I-" Atsumu began.
"Atsumu, it's okay, I understand," you sighed. A tiny needle pricked his heart at the way you sounded: distant and afraid.
"No, I want, need, to talk to you," he insists. "About what you said."
You looked at him blankly, but he knew you well enough to know your heart was crying in pain. It wasn't for nothing that he was your best friend.
Atsumu took a deep breath in. "I'm sorry that I didn't notice your feelings, and I'm sorry I'm an inconsiderate asshole."
You snort, eyes gleaming (with amusement or tears, probably both) at his comment. "Yeah, you're a bit of a jerk for that."
"I'm also sorry for leaving you alone after you told me the truth."
Atsumu doesn't like to call himself a desperate person, but it's the only way to describe the panic he's feeling. He's painfully aware he can't fix the heart he's broken, but he hopes that maybe he can help begin to heal it.
"And I'm sorry it took me this long to realize that I do really love you."
Your grip on the door tightened, refusing to meet his eyes. "Atsumu, it's not that simple."
"I know," he admits. "But please, if you give me another chance I think I could, no, I will love you properly."
You remained silent, shuffling your feet and sighed. Atsumu's heart raced in anticipation for your answer. His palms are so incredibly sweaty, and suddenly he's ridiculously aware of how he looks. Atsumu is always wishing and wanting, despite claiming not to believe in "silly things like fate or destiny."
And he's a selfish person, always stubborn and sometimes brutal, but for some reason you seem to love him all the same. For once, he hopes the world really does revolve around him, around you both, so that he won't just hold dreams in his heart, but also have you in his arms.
He silently swears to himself, you, the world, that he'd never let you go.
After some time, you look up at him. Atsumu searches your eyes for your answer but for the first time in a long time, he finds he's unable to. You smile softly, the moonlight shining on your features.
"I love you," you say. Atsumu feels the hope rise and he struggles to keep a smile from erupting on his face.
"But I think that for once, I need to choose myself."
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littlemisswriter · 3 years
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Utterly Blindsided - Part 2
Summary:
After discovering the truth of Jacob's betrayal, Lily drowned out any emotion during missions, purposely working alone to avoid another confrontation. But will Jacob give up that easily on her?
[Back for a part 2! I have written all instalments to this imagine and am currently editing them to be posted accordingly! Any ideas for more works are encouraged if there is something in particular you’d like to read :) Enjoy x]
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It had been weeks since Lily had last spoken to Jacob, and not once in that time had she found a moments peace from her own head. The thoughts ran rampant as she did her best to ignore them and focus on matters at hand. But despite her efforts, she continued to suffer.
Though she hadn't been the only one. Jacob had wished nothing more every night than to go back and fix his mistake as he lay lonely in the train. Most nights had his own tears fixed down his face as the spot beside him remained cold and empty.
He missed Lily; finding it hard to function properly without her by his side. Her usual wit to match his own, and eager tendency to welcome trouble daringly by his side, had vanished. No longer had she ventured out with the assassin, opting to continue the fight against oppression alone.
Yet the Templar Domain in London still stood strong, meaning it was only a matter of time before the two had to work together once more.
"Evie, please-" Lily's plea had fallen silent upon the older twin by a raised hand. Her sigh came sympathetically.
"This is the last thing I want to ask of you, Lily. But this is important." There had been a real possibility that Templars were transporting the Precursor artefact across the city. The object would be heavily guarded which meant Evie needed the extra pair of hands to secure it.
What her brother lacked in stealth, he made up for with brutality, Lily being just as vital with her own strength to accommodate what Jacob couldn't. It's what made the pair so dangerous when they were together.
Her heart dropped as she accepted her fate, knowing that intercepting Templar progress was far more important than any personal vendetta. "All right," Lily swallowed back the lump in her throat as Evie lay a gentle hand to her shoulder.
The two women locked eyes, Lily's filled with uncertainty while Evie offered reassurance. "I heard what happened, with Jacob..." The memory causing a wince. "And I know that what he did was unforgivable." A moment. "But I also know that my brother loves you deeply, and would do anything to fix his mistake."
Watching her brother suffer as much as he was had been hard, though she also condoled with Lily and her betrayal. But Evie had seen them together, how powerful they became as assassins, and how true they were to themselves.
It was a love she had only really read about in books, something so passionate and heartfelt. And it made Jacob happy, which in turn had her satisfied. "I know," Lily muttered, "I just..." Expressing her emotions wasn't easy, rather why she chose not to deal with them at all, even when they sat painfully heavy in her chest. "I love him Evie. But after-" She nearly choked on her next words, so instead chose to silence herself. And Evie knew, she could see exactly the thoughts in her head through the pain in her eyes.
"Perhaps, this doesn't have to end as tragically as you think." The two women could only share a look, Evie's a sad smile as Lily's eyes downcast to the floor beneath them. How would it end?
-
The night air had done nothing to faze the assassins as they jumped from rooftop to rooftop. The silence amongst them was deafening as they made way to the precise location of the ambush. Jacob kept behind the others, eyes turning persistently over to Lily, though she kept her gaze straight and her cowl close to cover her face. More than anything had he wanted the opportunity to fix their relationship right then, but more important matters were at hand.
"There," Evie pointed, kneeling down by the edge of the building as she cast her eyes down along the street. It had been deeper into the night where most kept out of the street to find shelter. The city had been asleep which rang chance to those with ill intentions, "the carriage should be here soon. Lily," the twin looked over to her friend before back to her brother that knelt silently to her opposite side. It hadn't been often that Jacob was so tame, which ignited worry for his sister; and that of Lily too, even if she refused to admit it, "Jacob."
Deep in thought, he snapped his head up to meet the concerned eyes of Evie. But just looked away back to the street below; he couldn't bare for anyone to see him like this, let alone his own sister. "You want me to go down there and kill Templars, correct?" His tone flat as his attention distant. The reaction couldn't help but have Lily glance over to her former lover. She had never seen him like this before, and she hated it. Her heart pulled her towards him but her ache kept her reclusive.
"Yes, just wait nearby out of sight." Evie stood. "If you can draw their attention away long enough, it will give me a chance to seize the artefact and escape from sight." The trio were all well informed of Evie's plan, and if done attentively, it will rupture the Templar's power over London. "Good luck." With a glance to each assassin beside her, Evie could only quietly sigh before utilizing the rope launcher off the building.
Lily and Jacob remained silent, fighting the itch to scratch a peak at one another. "Well," Lily muttered, speaking for the first time that night as she came to her stance, "let's go." No hesitation as she descended down the building, Jacob watching intently now that he knew he wouldn't get caught. He rid the lump in his throat as he too followed after her.
There were enough spots amongst the streets to lay low until the carriage arrived. The pair kept together, out of sight in a nearby alleyway as they waited for their target. Lily's fists balled and un-balled against the brick wall behind her while keeping her attention onto the open street. Jacob noticed her actions, aware of the physical behavior she displayed while under stress. He couldn't imagine this had been easy for her, as it had been agonizing for him; a shot to the chest would hurt less in the circumstance.
But for the first time in a while, an opportunity had presented itself. Alone with Lily, able to communicate with her briefly and at least hear her voice directed at him once more. Not long ago, he had confided in his sister, feeling lost and longing for his love; and she had offered him encouragement to take the opportunities with Lily as they came. Yet to be gentle with her, and honest. Jacob bit his lip as his mouth opened and shut multiple times in search of what to say. "Lily."
The mention of her name had her body stiffen, fists now balled tight as she leant back onto the wall and out of sight. Her head lowered to keep the hood from exposing her features as her chest began to pick up pace. She supposed it was inevitable for this moment to come; she had to speak to Jacob eventually though had only been stubborn about it.
"I..." The words failed to fall from his tongue as he looked down to the ground beneath them. Her breathe hitched, inching her head over to watch Jacob from the corner of her eye. "I'm sorry, Lily." It hadn't been the words but the emotions behind them that hindered her guard. Her knees could buckle but she hadn't given them the chance. "You deserve better than me." His eyes slowly reaching up over to his partner, now aware of how affected she had been by the mere mention. "But yet I stay, selfish in hope that you'll come back to me."
That is all she wanted, but his betrayal kept her resilient to affections. Time had weakened her without him, thinking of him and the comfort of him nonstop. Being held close and having another to fall asleep beside when the night was cold. She missed it, all of it.
"I'm completely in love with you, Lily." A shudder slipped by her lips as she allowed his words to affect her.  "And I... I can't keep going on without you. I can't-"
The sounds of a nearby carriage had caught the unsuspecting assassins, Lily looking around the corner to lay eyes on the oncoming targets. There had been four carriages, two acting as guard in front and one at the back. The one in the middle had been deemed as their prize, though it looked like it would take quite a few Templars to plow through first.
"We'll clear out the first carriage. That's our ticket to getting the others to follow us." Lily analyzed before she thought, not realizing how fluently she had spoken to Jacob. It took her off balance for a moment but she stabilized herself. "Jacob," she muttered once again, turning over her shoulder to see the man already looking at her; the longing in his gaze made her heart clench though she fought it off. The artefact was the priority, "I... we'll speak later. But, I need to know... are you with me?"
He would always have her back, this she knew. But she needed the reassurance, it's all she'd been craving since the separation. And the starvation had her feel the need to ask again. Jacob couldn't believe she'd ask, but nodded anyway. He would die for this woman if he needed to. "To the death."
There was a moment between them, a flutter of Lily's eyes in reaction had her weak. Her arms wanting to reach out and wrap around Jacob then and there. But she knew better. So she nodded, quite without words as she turned back to the target ahead.
It was now or never.
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