#and also i have to work this week so many hours so many stuff to do i can't handle this

[striderl]

Has Polaroid and Sawmus ever gotten into a big argument before?

If so, what caused it and how did they resolve it?

P.s. I wish you luck on your work, projects and other stuff and please take as many breaks as you need ^_^

There haven’t been any records of Polaroid and Sawmus having significant conflicts. There may be little disagreements between them sometimes, such as the fact that Polaroid has to get up really early due to Sawmus routinely getting only 4 hours of recharge each day. But for the most part, they get along surprisingly well.

During the period of a global apocalypse, there aren’t that many considerations like that of normal life. There are no arguments about financial problems since there’s no economy, nor are there politics to fight about because there’s no politics. Everyone just trying to survive and live to the fullest, small differences should not be the biggest concerns.

Plus, Sawmus isn’t the type of parent who would be overprotective of their children, or intervene in Polaroid’s responsibilities. He would stand on the sideline to observe Polaroid’s progress, and offer a hand when Polaroid requires assistance, but he would never take advantage of his position as a caretaker and force Polaroid to do anything. A good parent instructs, not demands. At the end of the day, Sawmus is just a single dad with a son who works two jobs.

On the other hand, Polaroid is pretty disciplined and mature himself, never throwing tantrums or taking advantage of Sawmus’ trust. He believes in Sawmus’ judgments on the battlefield because he credits Sawmus would always considering the most beneficial options, whether is the alliance, the rescue team, or just between Sawmus and himself.

Also thanks for the concerns, I'm doing ok so far. Just about one more week and I'll be done with the finals.

#Ask #Skibidi Toilet OCs #OC Sawmus #OC Polaroid #Parental bond snippets

[teencopandthesourwolf]

so i'm supposed to be working on my sterek wip—and i am! i wrote about 1k today—but bc of all you sterek mutual's and followers who are are now also so into buddie (main culprits being @inell @rosieposiepuddingnpie @sortasirius and @angela-feelstoomuch) and and ofc bc of bi!buck confirmed, i've only started ploughing through 911 over the last few weeks like a bloodhound chasing a rabbit through the woods, and have consequently, inevitably, started a buddie wip. fml. anyways, it's all your lot's fault so here, have just under 1k of my first buck pov buddie quarantine wip and everyone pls forgive my adhd writing brain lol.

.

Eddie was so fucking drunk. And it wasn't even really either of their faults.

Because daytimes? When they weren't on shift? They were easy.

In the daytime there was just so much stuff to do with Christopher. So many games to play and so many cool things Buck was finding he could teach the little guy. And there were things that Christopher was teaching Buck, too, like, did you know that a crocodile can't stick out its tongue? Because Buck didn't, not until Christopher told him. And how cool is that?

The three of them—Buck, Christopher and Eddie—had started a Strip Jack Naked tournament and they now played it every night that he and Eddie were home, just before bath and bedtime stories. Turns out Christopher loved card games, and loved the rude name given to Buck and Maddie's childhood favourite even more, because what ten year old wouldn't? There was obviously zero stripping involved; Buck didn't even know why it was called what it was called, only that it was super fun, and just about easy enough for Christopher to learn but not so easy he'd get bored too fast, y’know? And what was funny was that the little dude hadn't even won a single round yet, and that somehow hadn't seemed to deter the slugger in his efforts one bit. Quite the opposite, actually. He'd warned, “Just you two wait,” and had this look on his face that said he was determined to become a grandmaster and beat Buck at his own game—or, even better, beat his Dad and win the prize of Eddie having to tidy Christopher's room for a week (a suggestion of Buck's that Eddie had not been overjoyed about).

In turn, Buck and Eddie had now lost countless games of Mario Kart to the kid; been repeatedly humiliated at Pictionary (the kiddie version); and each had the least amount of kudos points for Misfits, a game that Eddie apparently used to play with his sisters. It was another drawing-type one, where each player took a body section on their turn—head, torso and arms, or legs and feet—and then folded the paper over to hide the result until everyone was done and Christopher would unfold the paper and they'd all cry with laughter at the results. Misfits didn't even technically have any winners or losers, but hey, try telling Christopher that.

Evenings, though? The few hours left between Christopher's bedtime and Eddie and Buck turning in for the night? They were tougher.

Tough on Buck, at least.

See, he'd had this dream, a few weeks back. A dream about—well.

About Eddie.

In the dream, Buck had been washing the dishes in Eddie and Chris's apartment after Eddie had made another attempt at cooking his abuela's delicious Barbacoa recipe (Buck had tasted the real deal once when Isabel had come to stay and Eddie had invited Buck over to dinner), and Eddie had suddenly crowded into him from behind, crushing the length of his body up against Buck's back and reaching around to circle soft but firm hands around Buck's wet wrists. Startled and confused, Buck had open opened his mouth to say something when Eddie had placed his hot mouth onto the sensitive spot on Buck's neck, just below his right ear and—

Buck had woken abruptly, writhing and twitching and groaning, jizz spilling all over his freshly changed bed sheets.

After that, evenings were a challenge.

They were now made up of all the usual fun and dumb stuff that Buck and Eddie got up to, plus the occasionally deeper topics in their lives that they both seemed to struggle with but tried their best to share with each other, but there was also Don't look too long at Eddie's hands, and Don't look at Eddie's mouth while he speaks, and Don't check out Eddie's ass in those jeans I'd told him he should definitely buy when the shops were still open and the world hadn't yet gone to shit and I wasn't losing my damn mind.

Buck had moved into Eddie and Chris's place when Quarantine hit because it just made sense, and over the course of the last six months he had somehow managed to fall in lust with his best friend.

So, times when they both had tomorrow off work, and when the confinement got to be a little too much, they would drink. Sometimes a little too much. One of them always stayed relatively sober though, just in case Chris needed something in the night. Tonight, Buck had been allowing Eddie to enjoy himself. The guy hardly ever really let his hair down, and he deserved to.

Eddie got giggly when he drank Tequila, Buck noticed.

They'd already sunk a few beers prior to cracking open the bottle of Cazadores Reposado, and after Buck had stopped at two shots but Eddie had continued, Eddie had become progressively loose and was now starting to giggle like a frickin schoolgirl, which, embarrassingly, seemed to be doing things to Buck—not that Buck had a thing for school girls, Jesus no, it was just that Eddie sounding so soft and vulnerable and happy was something that apparently really did it for Buck.

Fuck his life.

The guy also got very touchy-feely on tequila, too.

They'd migrated from the kitchen table to sitting so close to each other on the sofa that they were permanently touching, as well as all the times Eddie kept nudging his shoulder further into Buck's and squeezing his hand on Buck's knee. Then his thigh.

Seriously, fuck Buck's life.

The way Eddie had gotten so comfortable with touching Buck was becoming a majorly uncomfortable situation for Buck to have to deal with. Not because Buck didn't want the attention, but because he really fucking did.

And that was a problem, for a few reasons.

Reason one was that Buck wasn't gay, and didn't really understand these feelings he was having.

Reason two was, as far as Buck knew, Eddie wasn't gay either.

Reason three (and Buck's biggest fear) was Buck being terrified of losing what he had with Eddie. He loved Eddie. And Christopher. And he was pretty sure they loved him back—and he certainly wasn't about to let his rabid and confusing libido ruin any of that.

Drunk Eddie, though? It seemed Drunk Eddie really had it in for Buck tonight.

.

fingers crossed i can finish it before buck goes insane! xp

#here we go! #buddie #buddie wip #buddie fic #pov buck #evan buckly #eddie diaz #911 #911 fic #lemons #wet dream #coming untouched #drunk!eddie #alcohol #tcats writes #teencopandthesourwolf #plus buddie lol

[queenofthedorks]

CR3 92 -- A list. Spoilers? I guess.

So I normally watch the first hour or so of CR and then go to bed, because time zone and work in the morning, but of course, I had to watch ALL of it last week and by the end, I was so sleepy that I vowed to rewatch it on Friday. Then my dog got into a fight with a raccoon, and we ended up at the emergency vet at 2am (he's fine now). I realized I hadn't finished watching Kymal, so I had to go watch that, and I didn't get back to rewatching the ep until yesterday/today.

1. The growth of Aimee fucking Carrero as a player. Love it so much.

2. Aabria Iyengar is perfect. No notes needed.

3. It’s so fun to watch Matt be one part tactician 2 parts himbo.

4. Robbie is absolutely coming back to the main table. He said Dorian feels like he needs a purpose, but he’s the only Crownkeeper who isn’t favored by a god.

5. Betrayed God Champion one shot. Go go. They could be Exandria's Suicide Squad.

6. I need someone, not me, I've got shit to do, to chart out the timelines for the last IDK two months game time?

7. WHAT IF BH GOES TO AEOR AND POPS A BUBBLE AND THAT IS SAM'S NEW CHARACTER????? That's just a thought I had.

8. M9 one shot in Aeor please or just have half the table play M9 and half the table play BH. I want Caleb and Beau involved in taking down Luddy.

9. Alternately, BH could go meet HotBoi!Essek.

10. ALSO WHAT IS THIS LUXEN BULLSHIT THAT YOU JUST DROPPED AABRIA? Please elaborate.

11. Did Opal's mom know Vex and Vax?

12. Is Opal Ruidus born?

13. Are all of the PCs on the excult/exfundie side of Tiktok or what?

14. How many cults are we up to now? We've got the 420 Hive Mind in Bassuras, Ruidian stuff, Assholes who thought it would be a good idea to put a piece of a primordial entity into a child, and now Third Secret Option Luxon.

15. Ash, Imogene, and Opal need to form the "Children of Deadbeat Parents who went and got involved in a cult and caused their children a lot of heartache" support group.

I love me some comic horror, but is it next Thursday yet?

#critical role #cr spoilers #Bells Hells #crown keepers

[beanghostprincess]

(Sanuso NSFW / Not explicit tho)

If Sanji ever caught Usopp smoking I think he'd moan on the spot and would start malfunctioning. Like. His brain would instantly stop working and it would only be filled with Usoppsmokingusoppcigaretteusoppusoppusopp- And while he's having a whole sexual crisis wondering why the hell he finds Usopp smoking so hot, Usopp has no idea what the hell is going on.

Imagine Usopp smoking just because he smokes from time to time, just not as much as Sanji because that's fucking insane for an average person like him. And suddenly he has his boyfriend stuttering and blushing and visibly shaking next to him because he's... Smoking? Usopp finds out rather quickly that for some reason that does something to Sanji.

My brain is going wild with ideas right now but... Let's say Sanji ends up sitting on top of Usopp and let's say Usopp shotguns Sanji. The cook is a whimpering mess and Usopp isn't even trying to be sexy.

#this is not me telling people to smoke please don't #or do it tbh i am not your dad i don't care but don't destroy your lungs maybe idk #that being said that colorspread with usopp smoking changed my life #i want to write this so bad somebody hold me back from doing it i have to write for sanuso week i can't do this i am gonna cry #and also i have to work this week so many hours so many stuff to do i can't handle this #but............. usopp and sanji................... smoking together and making out i am banging my head against a fucking brick wall #this is just me simping for usopp don't look at me #as a lesbian i only let one man make me feel things and that's usopp #he has me blushing and kicking my feet sanji is so real #one piece #usopp #black leg sanji #sanuso

[royalarchivist]

Techno imitating Phil and his iconic “Hey mate” line during MCC5

#Technoblade #Philza #Phil #MCC #Emerald Duo #subtitles #I'm making a highlights compilation of Techno's old MCC vods #but I'm posting this now because these two are my favorite #and also the current highlights compilation for MCC 5's vod is 13 minutes long #so it's going to take a hot minute for me to figure out how / where I want to cut that up #or whether I want to compile it into something shorter #I don't actually know if I'll subtitle that whole thing #Ideally? I'd love to #realistically? I don't have the time and also my back neck hands and eyes are killing me #I'm on the computer all day for work so even the video editing stuff is a pushing it a little for me #I wouldn't mind getting paid by a CC to do this kind of clips stuff officially #but I don't think any of them would actually pay a fair wage #and idk how many hours a week that would be #still. something I am considering #I work for a nonprofit rn so I'll probably get a second job sometime eventually #but before this current job I worked 5 jobs and god forbid I ever have to do that again #that was a very rough 2 and a half years #anyways enough personally chit-chat in the tags I hope you are all doing well #and if you guys have any opinions on whether you want one shorter compilation or 2 longer compilations lemme know #Subtitles #Edited

[indigodawns]

.

#been sitting here for 1.5 hours now trying to decide if i should go see my friend as promised #or not. basically i texted earlier like heyy sorry can we do tomorrow im all over the place (mentally extra unstable*) i don't wanna #make you deal with that #but she said she might not be able to do tomorrow and she's told me she hates when ppl cancel bc so many ppl have been #cancelling on her and yk. feels bad. so i really should go but im also just. ??? #idk what it was but today is just so not it ive been crying a bunch and barely working and i v much needed #my noise cancelling headphones on the train and then i just kept them on for 1 #and then i just kept them on when i got home and ive just been on my bed scrolling and trying to decide dhsjsjdjd #yes i was supposed to work 8 hours today 💀💀💀 #so that's the other part like if i go see my friend i know tomorrow will probably be rougher and i also need to work then yk #ugh anyways i should go we can just chill im sure #* headphone context for myself bc im just like 🤨🤨 am i just kinda sad and tired today or do i really need to rest #anyways. Thoughts? dhsjjdjdjd #other context is that my friend rly isn't doing good at all and i haven't seen her in a week and it's been #even longer since we could talk 1 on 1 #like 2 weeks rip #maybe i just need food tbh ive mostly had sugary stuff today rip

[minnow-doodle-doo]

This week has been so long and hard. I knew what I signed up for at my new job, I just don't remember being so tired all the time from it.

#rant #personal #my sleep schedule is off too since I'm used to a 720 start time but now I start at 930 and I still wake up at like 630 every day #I just need to adjust my sleep by like 2 hours so I'm not nodding off so early #but I also blame how exhausting this new position is and that I'm going to school 2 times a week till 9ish right after work #even at my old job I would stay up late since I like to so I thought it would be a better time for me but so far it hasn't but hopefully #it will be in the future #Its not like I havent encountered the behaviors and stuff before its just very intense with a child I'm with so much and how many times #I've had to remove them from situations since they started to get violent (multiple times a day) #good thing the kid likes me and he's talking to me Ive had so many convos with social workers phycologists the partents teachers but still #anyway if I feel like this still by December I might have to find a different job while I go to school #its not like the school I work for isn't helping me its more that its a hard job and I'm tired

[mirananananan]

little life update/rant below :)

i feel like i've been so inactive lately which makes me big sad, but when i say i have not had the time, i'm being so serious. yesterday i literally woke up, went into work an hour early, stayed after for almost 2 hours, went home, made dinner, and immediately sat down to work on a grad school assignment and then had to work for another hour before i went to bed. then i woke up this morning and did it all again. it just feels like that's how my days look more and more recently, and it's been really hard tbh. it's demoralizing and just sad to work all day and still wake up the next day wishing i had done more, still with a mile long to do list, and knowing that it's just going to keep being this way for at least the next couple weeks.

anyways all of this is to say that i'm just both really grateful for and sorry to all my mutuals who have continued to tag me in things and stuff in the past couple weeks :) it may sound weird or dumb, but if i'm being honest i have SERIOUS fandom fomo right now, and, even though i haven't really had time recently, it's been nice to not feel like lost in the shuffle or forgotten (i told u it was going to sound weird).

being on tumblr/in fandom has truly been the most incredible escape and been such a stress relief and source of happiness for me. i'm still very much here, just lurking and liking more because i'm conserving brain bandwidth as much as possible during the week!!!!

#to get more personal in the tags i started going to therapy #i've never had good experiences in the past #but it's going really well so far #and i'm proud of myself for making the time even when i've been so busy #i've also stayed consistent w my gym schedule which is so important for my mental and physical health #so like. i am doing things other than working #but i just don't have as much time to do little fun things rn #also in case anyone cared the reason i'm so busy at work is because on top of just having a busy job generally #i'm also a glutton for pain and i run our student government #and homecoming is next week #and it's just..........so much stuff to do #so many emails to send so much to coordinate so many people to please #but it's almost over! #just have to make it through a 60 hour work week next week and i'll be fine #ALSO i keep forgetting it's my birthday next week #will lowkey be the worst birthday of my life but oh well 26 is a lame birthday anyway #personal

[icewindandboringhorror]

a boye whom'st loves to attack paper balls

#cats #nhgnhmmm.. yommy... paper favorite food #(I do not actually let him eat paper) #ALSO I'm still working on doing the poll adventure thing I've just had a lot going on. as usual. It's actually harder than #I initially thought to regularly find time to do a quick ms paint sketch and a small writing blurb #it's like even though it doesn't take extremely long it's still one of those things that is hard to carve out a little portion of the day #to do if your day is set up in a way not conducive to portion carving #BUT .. at least I have posted many drafts #as usual.. my style of like.. post nothing for 3 weeks then randomly post 25 things at once #NO idea why my brain works that way. it just does. it's easier #even though I know it's worse in terms of like. social media #the algorithms in most places prefer consistent steady uploads over time. not jarringly wavering between absence and hyper presence #then absence again. but .. alas... #Good to clear out a few drafts once in a while anyway. And I do really want to get back to scullptures and costumes. I stopped as much for #a while due to the pandemic (can't go to the bins anymore to get new supplies for costumes and stuff) as well as my worsened #health things/lack of energy and also my chest injury (so repetitive movements with my arms such as sitting in the same #position sculpting for 4 hours or changing clothes multiple times in quick succession etc. could flare it up) but obviously #none of those things are going to get better any time soon. so I should probably just try to do it here and there anyway. It's still not #safe to go to the bins. still having muscle problems. still low energy. But I could make it work maybe. I just feel bad having gotten out #of the habit when it is really fun stuff that I enjoy. Some things just get more difficult for me over time #But even like 3 sculptures and 10 costumes a year is better than 0 of any of those things. So. eh #I'm also just trying to clear out pictures still. My spring cleaning (which I do at the start of every new year instead of actual spring) #was kind of delayed this year due to me feeling sick and everything so even late into april I'm still working on the side at like orgnazing #all of the files on my computer. deleting things and backing up whatever I want to keep. clearing out photos. #editing and drafting (and maybe one day posting) old stuff form a while ago. etc. etc. #So any progress is good progress. I suppose. #ANYWAY.... a son... he gets very excited everytime he hears anyone anywhere crinkle up a piece of paper

[vimbry]

me and the work girlies having socialist convos at the end of the day

#funny as hell like. we finished our workload about half an hour early #because they've hired so many of us temps. who are improving at the job each day #that there's just been less to spread around #yet bc work culture is dumb our manager suddenly told everyone to push the carts we'd already sorted #into a square in the middle of the floor? which we've never done before #and the permanent staff had no idea why either. they were also confused but resigned #I passed one and said ''hey so is this just because we have 20 minutes of the shift left'' #and she just laughed and shrugged and was like idk ask him lmaooo #definition of busywork #so we're all just standing around for 10 minutes until the manager starts calling people over to move... other stuff idk. #and I'm walking to join them when this small group of coworkers behind me goes HEY #you don't need to go. look he's got enough people and he's not looking stay heeere #so we just end up swapping stories about the managers giving us tips to process the conveyer faster #even tho we uhhh work SO hard already. :) #and one woman went ''I was thinking. ummm. I could go faster. but you gonna pay me more??? so I worked slower ❤️'' #nothing but respect for us grunts here tho vs the management. I've never known a single person in the 3 weeks I've been here #to not come and help someone who looks busy on the opposite conveyer when theirs is slow #turns out people are naturally nice and helpful when you don't take advantage and try and make them work harder #bosses will never learn this <3

[arcaneyouth]

i finished making chapter 7 of my comic and immediately my entire routine went to shambles cause i don't know what to do with myself anymore. girlies i'm so bored

#not really a vent post <3 i'm vibing i'm just sooo bored #like. ok. my main goal right now is to submit an application to a grocery store #i am taking this with ultra super tiny baby steps. if i don't i'll start sobbing and never do it #so i'm spending like 30 minutes max on this a day #there's so many more hours than that in a day and i don't know what to do with it #i do have other projects i should be working on *cough* getting my comic website built *cough* #but because the job shit is the Main Project my brain is like oh no no i can't do that c: that can't be done on the same day as job days! #cause that's how i handle comics and the other stuff i want to work on. #i don't typically do side projects on the same day as my main project that'd be wild that's too much they all get their own days #and now because i don't have Comic Days i don't feel like there's a deadline for me to do my fun stuff #so i'm not nearly as motivated to do the fun stuff #i am Also a little bit in an art block (no ideas) so i probably Should step back from art a bit and give that time #but i don't DO ANYTHING ELSE!!!! art is 90% of my life!!!!! #and the days i don't do art is usually when i know i shouldn't do art that day for the sake of my health #i LIKE when video games are a once a week thing it becomes a special lil treat for meeee #but now that's the only thing i Can do with my time and i ?????????????????????????????? #i can't even be like oh haha i can write stuff instead! i have comic script AND video game script to write! #that doesn't solve the problem i can't start doing that until like 10 pm or else my eyes will be strained the rest of the day #i've been running out of youtube videos for weeks already so that's not anything #and i don't like watching tv/movies #literally what do i even do with myself #god i hope i get this job so i can actually do things again. not a sentence i ever thought i'd say

[pumpking64]

.

#Jesus fucking Christ #why do some people just. not see the mess they’re making and acknowledge that it’s their responsibility to clean up after themselves?? #like. you throw your shoes in the entrance exactly where people walk. you let shared loafers stand outside for several hours #you cook the most simple dinner that one time you cook (mind you the other people have equal shares of making food) #and yet you don’t even manage to clean up after neither the cooking NOR taking the food off the table into the fridge so it doesn’t turn bad #you keep on taking the most easy solution that fits you the best without thinking about others. in a space where we all are exhausted #and I’m so done with it for now tbh. how lazy to not care about the bare necessities for others. how rude to admit to it #AND on top of this. you’ll tell stuff about your country that’s *objectively horrifying* and then add on to that that you love your country #it’s just. so many things. are so so so much of what I’d avoid in a person. a few things is fine. no one’s perfect. but damn there’s a limit #SORRY to anyone who’s read this far but I just. had to get it out #this guy is the one I’m working the closest with these two and a half weeks. hes still a kid kind of. I’m not gonna be mean to him #but damn. my patience. is being tested #AHHH I might delete this tbh. I don’t like showing this side of myself. I don’t want to spread this kind of negativity #I’m just so very frustrated. how a human person can come to this place and be here for SO LONG already #and still not have learnt the basics of living and working together #own post #oh. and all the triggering of intrusive thoughts is not helping your case buddy #(which you can’t really know about so it’s kinda fair but also it’s for bad hygiene stuff mostly and that’s. I mean…..)

[adore-gregor]

my football team is so hopeless

#not dortmund lol i mean the club i play at myself #it makes me want to quit ngl #there are just so many things i'm fed up with #at times it's not fun anymore #i like playing football but there's just a lot wrong with this team #but i'm mostly just hanging around because i don't want to let my coach down like he cares and genuinly seems like a good coach #the only thing which gives me a bit of hope #and i hate letting people down 😅 that and also i hate giving up #but i have never seen a team more hopeless or felt more hopeless playing a sport 😅 #and he apparently thinks i'm kind of important to the team which i kind of get but also it doesn't really make a difference... #we're just so hopeless i can’t turn this around lol #i always start and i hope it continues but there's not much i can do #we just have too many people who don't care last match so many have given up #some of our team just refuse to run or move at some point it's awful #like why can't you try #we always loose so high like what's the point but still don't give up #besides that the endurance (and also sprint speed) of most is awful which could be trained to a point #but whenever the coach tries to do that almost no one shows up 💀 #and i usually play wing or outside midfielder but i'm supposed to also be a defender apparently what #whenever we get a goal on my side and i'm not back in defence someone moans at me like that's my fault #i get working back but i can’t be everywhere especially when some people don't move #and i actually try to get the ball foreward or try to get the ball back in the front because i don't give up when we're behind #i want to score goals and not settle with loosing and only sit back to do defence anymore #naturally there will be open spaces when i try to do that but how is giving up better even when it's hopeless we could still try scoring #and i can't be everywhere they should try my position they would never last 90min running like i do #besides i'm already exausted each week from my training before like i do sports 2-3 hours 6 or 7 days a week #unfortunately i have to because once again i'm trying some entrance exam (for sports to become a teach in sports and english hopefully) #asides from that i don't like most of the people at my club 😅 it feels a bit like highschool again and i didn't like highschool #so many are ignorant and judgemental #like the girl i told you about with her comment about the cleaning lady instead of wanting to clean up her stuff herself 🙄

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

I was actually having a pretty good day until just now :/

#i reread and made notes for two solid hours! 15k of words! #i went for a walk and got ransom a toy and stocked up on chocolate (my excuse is that sometimes when i'm feeling awful eating a bit of #chocolate helps lol and this stuff was 50% off) and generally had a good walk! #and i had a bath. first bath of the season! and i read like hafl of out of hte silent planet while i was bathing and it was wonderful! #mum made the BEST ginger pudding today! #so like. i've had a great day today! #so many blessings! #and now i just feel awful because i ate something and i wanna throw up and i mustn't #been struggling more with dealin w eating lately too at times and in the last week have been deviating from what the dietitian's been #encouraging me (variety) bc i couldn't deal with it #but today was a good day! a great day! and now i feel terrible for no apparent reason #yay me :/ #puddleglum hours #personal #incidentally am SO grateful for the job that requires me to wear short sleeves bc i know that by now i would've harmed deep enough to scar #on my arms as well if i hadn't had the knowledge that the next day id have to be at work w that. the reason this is coming up rn is #bc SURPRISE i rlly wanna harm #and i CAN'T my mother found my knife. honestly even having it htere whether or not i used it felt like it gave me an option even if i #didn't take it. it was a comfort. and now it feels awful not having it esp as idk when i'll get it back and also even worse my parents #litcherally gave me that knife for my last birthday. i don't know how mum feels about that #but yeah i just. i want to do smth drastic so bad #and i CAN'T #tw sh #i don't even know why #ugh

[orionis13]

Being employed is genuinely so great except for The Pains and also I don’t have time to draw and I’ve had Scenes and Images in my head and I can’t get them out GRAAAAHHHH

#ive wanted to do a wiwi piece for weeks now but i have to finish my art exchange piece also and some freelance stuff as well #and im working 9 hours a day and then i come home fuckin shattered bc i am Not designed to stand for that many hours #so many blorbo thoughts help

[hellohoihey]

Studiekeuze 2.0 ik ga echt huilen

#I mean i never got that far into the process last time tbf. I was just like welll I do not know and I won't anytime soon sooooo gap year tim #Now. Uh. Numerus fixus deadline is tomorrow oops and this week was the first time I looked at the list for it #The amount of times in the last couple of hours that I said (to myself) that i was going to cry. Oh boy. I haven't yet though #Maar tis wel om van te huilen #sayingthing #Fuuuckkk #👍 #In my defense. Well no defending is going to work here so- to explain myself: uhm. You see I was just looking at stuff that interested me #Before this but there's so many options so I didn't really get to the ones with the early deadline. Haha... #why am i like this #(I also didn't really get into any details on the ones with the later deadlines I was still exploring very very globally rip) #At least now I have kind of narrowed it down to the two general “directions” (areas of study or whatever) that I like so we've got somethin #! #Daar doen we het dan maar voorr #Nvm the fact that they barely have anything to do with each other we'll get to that at some later point I'm sure