High Infidelity III
Summary: Ben hardy x fem!reader. A fancy event with Ben leads to unforeseen cirumstances
Word Count: 3.4k
Warnings: cussing, Angst...
A/N: Here it is y’all, the final part of HI, this fic has really challenged me since I’m not used to writing angst and I had to have a completely different relationship with reader to write it. Since this was part of my 800 celebration, I do want to thank everyone who follows me for supporting me and especially for all the feedback I have received on this series 💖 and with this part especially please leave any feedback you have in the form of tags, replies, asks, or messages, because I really do love hearing from you!
Part I, Part II, Masterlist; BLM Resources, Register to Vote (U.S.)
(gorgeous Benny in a gif by @arthursleclerc)
💖💖💖
As the weeks went by, everything in your relationship with Ben evened out. It was like the big fight and any resulting complications had never happened. Except for the fact that the two of you were trying to be better with communication and understanding, which was great and really rewarding.
So when Ben came to you with the news that he had been invited to some fancy gala, you couldn’t have been happier to go.
“Who’ll be there? Am I going to meet any fancy celebrities?” you asked excitedly.
“You already know a fancy celebrity, you sleep next to him every night,” Ben replied, looking at you with mock hurt.
“Yeah, of course, of course. I meant any new fancy celebrities?” you changed, still wanting to hear the answer.
“Hmmm I’m not actually totally sure, but if there are a lot there, you’re probably going to have to introduce yourself because I don’t know them either,” Ben said teasingly. Then he got another look on his face, “I do think Lucy, Rami, and Gwil are going to be there though.”
You could tell Ben was nervous because him spending a lot of time with them had been part of your last fight, so you reassured him, “Don’t worry, Ben. We can definitely spend most of the time with them. I’ve been wanting to catch up with Lucy.”
“I promise not to let Gwil drag me away from you for any reason, which will be easier since Joe won’t be helping him,” Ben told you and you smiled good-naturedly, leaning in for a kiss when he did.
___
The week leading up to the event was filled with lots of trips to different stores, trying to find a suitable dress for the event. You sent pictures of options to Lucy since she had a lot of experience with such things. Finally you found one two days before the event, and luckily it didn’t need any tailoring other than wearing high heels so it wouldn’t drag. It was a black silk floor length dress that had a gathered waist and spaghetti straps that led to a neckline that was low but not too revealing where you would feel like you were on display. Once it was paired with a pair of heels you already had and some jewelry Lucy was loaning you, you knew it would be perfect.
The only thing you were unsure of was your hair. You knew how to style it in about three different ways, curled, bun, and ponytail, and none of them seemed right for the event. Looking on pinterest, you found a couple “easy” hair tutorials, but when you tried one a couple days before, you couldn’t get the right result and got increasingly frustrated.
“Ugh I just can’t get it to work,” you said in exasperation.
Ben came up behind you and rested his hands on your shoulders, “Can’t get what to work?”
“My hair,” you whined, leaning your head back to rest on his stomach. “I’ve tried like five times but it just doesn’t work.”
“Why don’t you just go and get it done, or we can have someone come here,” Ben suggested easily.
“Doesn’t that seem a little frivolous?” you asked, not used to having other people do stuff like that for you.
“The whole event is frivolous, and you should feel as confident and comfortable as possible at the event. I know that they can be intimidating so if that would help, I think you should definitely do it,” Ben reasoned, looking at you through the mirror and you couldn’t help but smile at his words.
“I love you so much,” you said to him, tilting your head back even further. Ben got the hint and leaned down to kiss you, both of you laughing at the upside-down kiss.
___
The day of the event started with a small sleep in, but just until 9:00am. The two of you had breakfast and then started getting ready at 10:00am so that you wouldn’t have to rush and could relax throughout the whole day.
Sharing a shower and helping each other wash your hair and bodies eventually turned into something else, which only further helped with the relaxing.
After the shower, you put moisturizing face masks on both you and Ben and leave-in conditioner in your hair. While you were letting the masks do their work, you started on lunch together, later taking them off to eat.
You started your makeup soon after, Ben watching you in fascination and keeping you entertained with questions. When the hairdresser arrived, they got your hair in curlers and then did Ben’s quickly. Watching them work so quickly and easily convinced you that Ben had made the right choice by hiring them.
Once your hair was done and you both got dressed, it was time to go. A town car was taking you and the two of you talked excitedly about the night.
As soon as you arrived and got out of the car, there was event staff welcoming you and guiding you to the carpet where all of the photographers and reporters were. Ben asked if you wanted to be in any pictures, but you declined, more comfortable to walk around back and watch him interact with the photographers and do one or two question interviews. It was nice to see Ben having fun and laughing and you could tell that he was really enjoying himself and getting into his element.
While you were watching, you felt someone come up next to you and turned to give them a smile but what you saw made your spine run cold. It was the guy, the one that you had slept with, the one that you hadn’t given another thought to since a week after the incident.
“Hey, y/n,” he said with a knowing look. You looked closer and saw that he had a recorder in one hand and was wearing a press badge and realized he must’ve been a reporter for a smaller site or magazine. Reading the press badge, you finally got his name, Jake, though it really didn’t matter now.
When you didn’t say anything and just looked at him in shock, he continued, “Still got that boyfriend, I assume?”
To that, you nodded and he laughed wryly.
“‘Course you do. Well, next time you decide to cheat with someone, let them know that’s what they’re doing first so they can make an informed decision,” he told you derisively.
“I’m not going to--” you tried to reply, but he was already walking away. You took a deep breath to calm yourself and fixed your face as well as you could then turned back to watch Ben. You were just in time to see him find you in the crowd and then wave you over because he was done.
The two of you walked into the main event area. While you were grabbing drinks, you ran into Rami who said that Lucy and Gwil were already at a table and there were two spots saved for you.
The following hours of the event passed exactly as they were supposed to, and you breathed a sigh of relief when you reminded yourself that the press usually didn’t actually attend the event so Jake must be gone.
Once the formal activities were done, everyone was free to roam around, and there was a band that was playing music in the background, with the option of a dance floor for those who wanted.
You were having a good time with Ben and his friends, probably the best time you had ever had with them because for the first time you didn’t feel like an outsider. You thought that Ben had probably asked them to include you a little more. Part of you was a little embarrassed that they might think you were being childish, but a larger part of you was glad because you could see your friendship with all of them growing.
Gwil saw someone he knew and went to ask her to dance and Lucy and Rami decided they wanted to do the same. You suggested dancing as well, but Ben, who was not the world’s greatest dancer, said he wanted to have another drink first. Agreeing to wait at one of the high tables by the dance floor, Ben went off to the bar to get the refills.
As he was waiting for the drinks to be made, Ben watched you swaying to the music and looking at the dancers with a small smile on your face. The sight made him smile and he was content to keep watching while he waited but someone said something to him from his left.
“She’s quite the looker, huh?” the guy said and Ben noticed his press badge and name, realizing that he had met him at a couple other events.
Because he knew him, Ben thought it would be weird not to reply. So he made a face but replied, “Yeah she is.”
“She’s got a boyfriend though, or something,” Jake told him matter-of-factly.
“Yeah I--” Ben was about to say that he was actually your boyfriend but Jake cut him off.
“Wish I'd known earlier. She waited until after we hooked up to tell me. Now I just feel bad for the bloke that’s stuck with her. Thought I’d let you know so you don’t end up in the same situation,” Jake said shaking his head.
Ben hid the tsunami of dread and rage he felt upon hearing this near-stranger’s words and instead asked, “Oh that sucks, when did that happen?”
“Just a couple months ago, sucked finding out. Anyway, better take these drinks back. See you later man,” Jake clapped Ben on the shoulder and walked away.
Back by the dance floor, you were wondering what was taking so long and looked over to the bar to see Ben receiving the drinks. You smiled, ready for him to look your way and walk over with the drinks. But instead, he started walking to the exit, shooting one angry glance over his shoulder to where you were.
Confused, you were stuck in place for a moment before you started to follow him. You hurried to catch him, calling his name a couple times once you got past the bulk of the crowd. But he didn’t turn back and he’s too fast and you’re in heels. He rounded the corner to the exit and by the time you got through the doors, all you saw was a group of cars, ready to drive the guests home or wherever they were going.
Movement caught your eye as you kept walking towards the line of cars and you saw the door of a car close and then start to drive away, a frowning Ben barely visible through the back window.
Immediately, you tried to call him but he hung up on the second ring. You sent him a text asking if he’s okay and where he’s going but he didn’t even look at it which you could tell because he always has his read receipts on.
You had been moving too fast to think, but now your stomach dropped and you flagged down a car, texting Lucy to tell her you’re heading home as you slid in and told the driver the address. On the way, you tried not to panic because there were a thousand possibilities for why Ben had left. Left looking angry, without telling you, ignoring you calling his name, and not answering your calls or texts. Left from an event where you had run into Jake just hours ago. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
You got home and unlocked the door, opening it slowly, not prepared for what was about to happen. Closing it behind you quietly and walking through the apartment, you could feel adrenaline rushing through your body, making it hard to breathe. You didn't find Ben until you reached your bedroom. He was on the balcony, staring over the edge and though he’s standing in place, his leg shaked.
“Ben?” he refused to look at you. You made the split decision to play innocent. “Ben what’s wrong?”
“I talked to Jake,” he said in a low voice, still staring out into the night air.
“Jake? What do you--?”
“I swear y/n, if any sort of lie comes out of your mouth that’s it. I deserve the truth and for you to respect me enough to tell me the truth,” Ben said harshly and your breath got shaky.
You rushed out, “I respect you Ben, I do.”
“How am I supposed to believe that when you fucking cheated on me?” this was when Ben turned to look at you and the mix of anger, betrayal, and despair in his eyes was enough to bring tears to yours.
“I’m sorry, I--” your voice cracked as you looked at him.
“How could you do that?” he asked loudly and you could hear the hurt in his voice.
The intensity of his searching gaze was too much to bear and you looked away as you answered, “I don’t know, you were away and I missed you and we were fighting. It felt like you were never coming back and I didn’t know what was going on with us.”
“If you weren’t sure, you should have asked. Talked to me. Not ignored all of my phone calls when I was trying to reach out to you,” Ben implored, sounding almost confused because he couldn't understand. “When was it?”
You thought about what would be the best answer. Would it make him feel better to know that it was deep into your fight or would it be worse that it was just days before he got home?
“The Friday before you came home,” you said solemnly, still not able to look at him.
Ben let out a big exhale but you couldn’t tell what he was feeling. He brought his hand to his brow like he was trying hard to remember something.
“Okay, so you weren’t just sitting at home watching tv,” he commented like he was piecing together something.
“I did do that for part of the night,” you defended, looking up to see his reaction.
“That’s not the point and you know it,” he snapped. Another moment of concentrating passed and his tone changed, “Fuck, that bruise on your hip, was that from him?”
“Yeah,” you said quietly.
Ben looked worried now, “Did he hurt you?”
Probably the worst part of yourself wanted to say yes, to run into his comforting arms and use the fact that it had gotten a little rough to serve as an excuse. But that wasn’t the truth, and it would be unforgivable to Ben and ultimately yourself to lie about something so important.
“No, well, not in any way I wasn’t okay with,” you explained, trying not to say too much.
“Wait-- you wanted him to do that? You like stuff like that?” Ben’s tone wasn’t accusing, just questioning. When you just looked away again, he knew the answer. He scoffed, “I thought we were trying to be better with communication! We’ve been together three years, why wouldn’t you tell me that? Dammit am I just not worth the truth to you?”
“Of course you are, I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. Maybe I was worried that you’d judge me or--”
“Three years, three years, y/n! I would never write you off for something like that. But I guess if you can’t even tell me about stuff like that, stuff that I could do for you, it makes sense why you didn’t tell me you cheated. You just don’t trust me,” Ben sounded defeated.
“No, I do trust you, I just didn’t tell you because it was never going to happen again, I didn’t want it to. It was a mistake, it didn’t mean anything. All telling you would have done was hurt you, just like it is now. I was trying to make it up to you without ever hurting you with what happened,” you rationalized, chancing a look at his face. He looked disoriented; your words made him feel lost.
“I don’t believe that. The truth is always better than a lie to me, I thought you knew that, I thought you knew me. And if you felt okay lying about it, I don’t think it’s a big step for it to happen again,” Ben ran his hands over his face and his voice was quiet now, like he was slowly accepting what had happened and what he had to do. The thought of that made you panic.
“No, no Ben, I love you and only you and you’re the only person I want to love. I promise, I promise, I promise, I love you and--and it will never happen again,” you tried to reach for Ben’s arms, but he just walked past you.
“I don’t think I can trust a word you say anymore,” he said softly, looking at his hands.
“No, Ben, Ben, I can be honest, I promise. I won’t ever lie to you again, I won’t. Please, please look at me. Look-- look at me, please, Ben I-” you were rambling now, but you would have said anything for him to turn around and take you in his arms.
Ben did turn but now his face was stone, “I’m gonna go. I’ll pack a bag for now and come back tomorrow for the rest of my stuff.”
He moved to the closet for a bag and you just stood still, frozen because you couldn’t process what was happening. Then there were tears running down your face and feeling them hit your crossed arms that were hugging your middle is what made you move again.
“No, no, Ben we can’t be over, you can’t leave. We can work on this, I’ll change. I’ll tell the truth, I promise I’ll never cheat, I never will. Please Ben, please I’ll do anything,” you knew you sounded desperate, but that was because you were, you couldn’t lose Ben after all you had done to keep him.
Ben was done packing the bag so he paused and looked at you. There was just one sliver of hope in his eye. “Was it here?”
You knew you could only answer honestly. “Yes,” then the light in his eyes was gone as he thought back to the week following his return. All of the stilted answers you had given him but he had accepted as just a little awkwardness after the fight made sense now; he knew why the sheets were gone and most likely where the lighter had come from.
“I can’t look at you, I can’t be here, without thinking about it,” he said simply. And somewhere inside you knew that was it, but the rest of you refused to accept it. “I’ll never be able to look at our bed without thinking that someone else was in it with you. I won’t be able to touch you without wondering if that’s how he touched you too. All I can think about is that I can’t understand how you would risk everything, risk our love, us, our future, compromise our home for what you say is meaningless sex. Cause to me, our love was worth everything.”
With that, Ben walked out of the bedroom. You followed him, trying to grab his arm, saying his name over and over, anything to stop him. He didn’t slow down, didn’t look back, until he got to the door and pulled it open. Even as your mind didn’t realize, your body knew he was done and your arms went slack, dropping from his. When he looked at you one last time, the anger and hurt was no longer at the forefront. What you saw in his face as he looked at you now was pity and that made you want to retch because it was so far from the love he used to look at you with.
“Goodbye, y/n, I truly do want the best for you in life,” Ben said, touching your hand softly and slowly, almost as if he was remembering all the previous times he had, briefly remembering when you loved each other with no question. Then he turned around, walked down the hallway, and out of your sight.
Holding your hand with the other, you tried to retain the feeling of his touch as long as you could. You closed the door with your shoulder and then collapsed against it, sliding until you sat. The floor no doubt dirtied your designer dress, but you couldn’t focus on anything as sobs started to wrack your body, and you didn’t even notice as your tears stained the silk.
💖💖💖
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hello meredith! your winona ryder gif pack was gorgeous, and it made me wonder if you would ever be willing to do a giffing tutorial? i'm trying to learn how to make my own resources, and i would love to be able to make gifs in the same high quality/gif pack style you do them in! hope you're doing well, and thank you for taking the time to read through this message!
thank you so much !!! i did .... not really think any of my gifs were good enough to illicit a request for a tutorial ASJDKF but what i do is fairly simple, i’ve included steps under the cut. i don’t know how well versed you or anyone else is in ps and making gifs, so this is a very comprehensive tutorial that goes through each painstaking step.
first i make sure my download is in 720/1080p, preferably the latter as it just makes for better gifs. usually i use download (mega) links from logoless accounts, but sometimes use piratebay, and those are pretty much a guarantee for good quality video. if i’m downloading from youtube, i use 4k video downloader as an app on my computer.
i then open imovie, or whatever the equivalent would be for a windows computer, and begin clipping. usually my clips are around ~20-40 secs of just my faceclaim to keep it simple when im importing. don’t worry if you get a pop up that tells you it will take a long time, but make it smaller if you get the one telling you frames will be limited to 500.
then, i open photoshop and select import > video frames to layers > my file ... after that, i use the little sliders that show up to bring in a part of the clip, it should look like this when you open it if you have the essentials & timeline as part of your ps
then, i resize my gif. if there’s black bars around your video, crop it down to whatever section of the actual video you want in the ratio of 16:9. if there are no black bars, chances are your video is already in that ratio. in that case, resize it! i personally use 245x138, but you can use whatever suits your fancy.
then i retime my gif, by clicking on the three white bars over in the corner of the timeline. once you click on that, select ‘ select all frames ’ now, all of your frames should be selected. then you can click on any one of those frames ( specifically, the little drop down area by what would read 0.04 ) and your screen should now look like this
change that 0.04 to 0.07, and then click the leftmost corner of the timeline box. it looks like this.
it might take a while to load, but that’s okay. now you’re in timeline mode, and this is where things get more creative. first, select all your layers on the side of the screen. these formerly were your frames.
with either the first or last layer selected, command + shift + select the opposite of whatever the layer you had selected was — ex. if you had the first layer selected, then choose the last one, and vise versa. now all your layers should be selected.
right click with all layers still selected, and choose the label that says ‘ convert to smart object ’
now it’s time to sharpen. you can either use actions ( here’s a tutorial for that, an old one but it all still works the same, and feel free to im me if you need additional help! ) or you can choose to sharpen yourself by going to filter > sharpen > smart sharpen. another good thing to use is filter > blur > gaussian blur. now, i don’t really have good ideas or settings for these because this isn’t how i make gifs. if you want the action i personally use, come to me off anon and i’d be more than happy to give it to you. if you don’t care and want any good actions, i recommend just hunting through the tags on blogs like yeahps or itsphotoshop.
now comes the fun part ... and the tricky part. coloring. first, i always adjust the levels of my gif. i do this by doing layer > new adjustment layer > levels. when that pops up, pick the dropper icon that has the white coloring. then, select the spot on your gif you want to be white. in my case, it’s the white on winona’s shirt, but it could be brightness from a window, a particularly shiny spot on a forehead, snow ... whatever.
that brings you from the first gif to the second gif. better, but still not pretty. now, experiment with all the other types of adjustment layers that there are. i can’t really adequately explain what a specific gif needs unless i .... see it, so if you ever need help coloring a specific scene, feel free to message and and i’d be more than happy to help you out, though i am ... far from an expert. with all the adjustment layers added, my gif goes from this
and there you have your gif ! to get it to be that length instead of the entirety of what you imported, drag the grey bars of your timeline over to shorten the gif. only whatever is between them shows up as the gif. so, instead of mine spanning the entire thing, when i exported, it looked like this
after that, go to file > export > save for web. make sure your gif is under 3mb, because that’s the limit for tumblr.
and that’s that! if you need anything else, lmk!
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