#and he feels like he isn't good enough to talk to julia

[dannyriccsupremacy]

suburban legends | CL16

| charles leclerc x fem!exgf!reader smau

| summary : charles doesn't do enough to keep his girlfriend and when the internet finds out, they are less than happy.

| faceclaim : christina nadin

| part one here ! part two here !

youruser just posted a story!

yn, her bff, chloe, julia and amelia all sat at a cafe by the water catching up. their drunken plans from the club bathroom that night had turned into a reality, and they were all so excited to see each other- and follow each other on social media.

as they were chatting, giggling with each other, your bff suddenly gasped and scoffed.

"whats that for?" yn asked, slighting laughing at her antics.

"ex-o'clock." she said sipping her drink, "yours, not mine."

"what?!" yn exclaimed, giving her bff a look, "definitely him?"

your bff nodded, rolling her eyes. the other three girls were avidly looking at everyone in the vicinity, trying to work out which man was eliciting this reaction from the duo.

"brown hair, sunglasses, white shirt, two o'clock." your bff answered their unspoken question.

the trio's eyes landed on the man at the same time, and amelia suddenly went white. soon the other four's attention was on her, concerned.

"miels, what's wrong?" julia asked, placing her hand on amelia's arm.

"oh, n-nothing." amelia shook her head.

"no, honey, what's wrong?" chloe questioned, her curiosity peaking.

"i feel awful. i didn't know, i swear." amelia apologised frantically.

"know what?" yn furrowed her brows.

"he's the one i'm talking to right now. charles is the one i'm seeing. and yn, your the ex he isn't over yet." amelia blurted, cheeks turning pink.

"amelia... i am so, so sorry." yn apologised, a sympathetic expression on her face.

"yn! do not apologise. especially not for a man!" amelia scolded, laughing slightly, "i was going to break things off with him anyway. he is well and truly still in love with you."

yn smiled sadly, taking another glance at the man, only to find him already staring at her, love still shining in his eyes.

liked by lilymhe, sacreskin + 90,367 others

youruser bros b4 hoes 😉

view all 16,324 comments

yourbff words of wisdom

user omg is this about that one tweet??

ameliahobart bros 4ever

user in her post breakup popularity era

user yn is so hot

juliaverner marry me pls!!

↳ chloedarren she said no hoes maam 🚫

user i bet charles misses her

lilymhe no hoes here 🙅‍♀️

↳ alex_albon lily???

↳ carmenmundt get over yourself albono. sucks 4 u

↳ georgerussell63 carmen???

↳ youruser please no hoes in the comment section. read the sign.

↳ francisca.cgomes yeah scram

↳ pierregasly kika???

↳ user i love the unhingedness in yns comment section

amelia sat across from yn, a slightly embarrassed look on her face.

"look, yn, i really like you and i really want to stay friends with you, so i just really need to tell you this so i don't think that our entire friendship is built on lies." amelia blurted, causing the confused look on yn's face. yn nodded for her to continue.

"basically, charles hired me. i'm an aspiring actress and i answered a call he had put out for someone that fit my description. when i sat down and met him for the first time, he explained that he wanted someone to pretend that they were his girlfriend to make his ex- you- jealous." she explained, wringing her hands together.

"when i first met you, i didn't know you were the ex, but he told me to keep up the act with everyone since monaco is such a small place and everyone talks." she took a breath, "but then when your bff pointed out him as your ex, i wanted to say something, but i really liked you so i didn't want to ruin the friendship we had already created."

yn sat in silence as she took in the girl's words. "okay."

"okay?" amelia was nervous, "just okay? is that like a bad okay, or is it a good okay?"

"a good okay," yn smiled, "i really want to keep being your friend so i'm so happy that you told me now. i definitely would of had to re-evaluate the relationship if it happened later down the line."

"oh thank god!" amelia let out a sigh of relief, at which yn laughed, "but i do want to let you know that charles still truly loves you. like he would not shut up about how amazing you are. i have only heard his side of the story, but if i were you, i would definitely get back together with him."

"he kissed me in a way that screwed me up forever, then i broke my own heart because he was too afraid to do it." yn responded, thinking back on their relationship.

"sounds like you were born to be suburban legends!" amelia giggled.

"i think i might." yn grinned.

"now i did meet his friend lando... what's his deal?"

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbff + 95,375 others

youruser our mismatched star signs surprised everyone 🤷‍♀️

view all 21,598 comments

yourbff pop off ig

↳ youruser slay

pierregasly at least he doesn't mope around anymore

↳ youruser aw honey you moped?

↳ charles_leclerc FALSE. LIES. MISINFORMATION.

user MY PARENTS!!!! ARE BACK TOGETHER!!!

↳ user NO LONGER A CHILD OF DIVORCE!!!

user i cant believe theyre back together

user honestly... i would too

ameliahobart the cutest couple!! (set me up with ykw pls!!)

↳ juliaverner dont manipulate them

↳ ameliahobart but i manipulated them together 😔

↳ chloedarren 🎶 cause [she's] a mastermind 🎶

user NATIONAL TREASURES.

authors note i literally took so long to get this part out i am so sorry!! but this will be the last part. a spin off may occur 👀

@allywthsr @sunny44 @coolio2195 @multi-fanss @babyliz43-blog @redbullgirly @smnthnclj @d3kstar @living-with-ghost @noonesgoneuntiltheyregone

#formula 1 #formula one #charles leclerc #ferrari #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc fic #f1 imagines #charles leclerc fluff #scuderia ferrari #f1 2023 #f1 edit #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc pov #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 #lando norris #lewis hamilton #max verstappen

[kiarastromboli]

Teach me 4 (Chris Sturniolo x y/n)

Part. 1 Part.2 Part.3

Mesterlist.

Warning: Bit of angst, Smut content, don’t like it = don’t read it :)

Summary: Two years have passed since Chris and Y/N's breakup. Many things have changed, but apparently not the feelings Y/N has for Chris. But how will her return to Boston for the summer holidays unfold when she knows she hasn't moved on?

Note : I'm sorry for making you wait so long for this fourth part. I just wanted to make sure I did it right. Despite everything, I'm still afraid this part won't please you as much, and I apologize if the result isn't what you expected. I did my best.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

"Julia, stop, that's enough," I said, bursting into laughter at the excited screams of my best friend on the other end of the line.

"Stop?? It's been almost 2 years since we last saw each other, y/n. How do you expect me to keep calm when I'm going to see you in less than 24 hours?" She said, overexcited, and I could hear her fidgeting in every direction.

Indeed, it had been a while since I left Boston. After my parents sent me to the other side of the country, I started researching universities nearby. At the end of high school, I wasted no time in enrolling and starting my studies.

I had successfully completed my first year at the university, and now it was summer vacation. My parents agreed to let me return to Boston to enjoy my break with them and my friends.

As for my relationship with my parents... Let's say things are different, but the distance imposed on us did me good. I had finally started to live for myself, and many things had changed in my life. As for them, they were content because my results were excellent, and they could see that I had gained autonomy and maturity since my departure.

Anyway, two years had passed, and my life had changed a lot, but I was so happy to finally be back in Boston.

"Yeah, I know," I said, chuckling. "I can't wait to see you and the others," I said, turning around to lie on my back in my bed.

"We'll have to organize a party for your return!" Julia screamed in my ears.

"No, Ju, please, that's enough," I said, moving the phone away from my ear a bit, which she had just shattered again.

"Huh huh, anyway, you don't have a choice. Mom's not here for 3 days, and it's perfect for the party we're going to have when you get back!" She said, emphasizing the word 'party.'

"Juliaaaa!" I said, sighing. "Who are you even planning to invite to this party? It's not like I had a hundred friends back in high school," I said, laughing.

"We don't care, y/n. Who would refuse a party in a big house during summer vacation? I'll invite our group of friends and then check with the old art group from high school." She started to say, "Oh, and why not the football team! And the lacrosse team and the school mascot! Oh my god, I wonder if he still has his costume; that would be hilarious!" She said, laughing.

The Lacrosse team, Chris.

From that moment on, my mind went on pause, and I didn't really pay attention to what Julia was saying.

It had been so long since I had heard about him. After my departure, I hadn't received any news from him. And it was my fault. Every time Julia tried to talk to me about him, I immediately shut down. I thought with time the pain would fade, but it was false. Four months after my departure, my heart still bled as much as the last time he passed by my window. I had done everything to stop thinking about him and turn the page, and I had done it so well that I almost forgot that by returning to Boston, I would also be returning to him.

"Y/n, are you listening?" Julia said, raising her voice, bringing me back to reality.

"Huh? What? Sorry, Julia, I'm exhausted. I think I need to rest for tomorrow; the journey will be long. Can I call you back later?" I said, stuttering a bit, still destabilized by my thoughts.

"Yeah, sure, don't worry. See you tomorrow. Love you, bye," she said warmly.

"Love you, bye," I said with a small smile before hanging up and placing my phone next to me.

Chris.

Is it normal that my heart still bleeds so much for a high school crush? Am I just too sensitive? Is it because he's the only man I've ever let into my heart until now?

Questions kept piling up in my mind, and no matter how much I shook my head, they wouldn't leave me.

Anxiety eventually took over the excitement. What will happen if we see each other again? Will we even meet? Does he still think about me too? Is his heart still bleeding as well? Did he drown in sorrow when our story ended?

More and more questions. I better close my eyes; tomorrow is a big day...

_______

My morning passed extremely quickly. I woke up a bit late, so I was in a hurry. I got ready quickly, gathered my things, and said goodbye to my roommate not to miss my flight.

My parents picked me up at the airport, and I didn't expect warm hugs, but it was still hurtful to barely get a 'how are you?' The whole ride to the house was filled with discussions about my results and how my life was going there.

It had been a while since I saw them, so I just decided to suck it up, smile, and play the perfect little girl I always portrayed in Boston.

"No, I'm just saying that just because your results are satisfactory doesn't mean you don't need extra courses, you know, those things look good on your record," my mother continued to ramble when we finally arrived home.

God, this journey felt longer than my high school years!

"Yeah, I know, Mom. I'll think about it; can we discuss it later? I'm tired," I said before leaving the car.

Once my suitcase was unpacked, I thought I would have a moment of respite to finally collapse into my bed and rest from this exhausting start to the day. But that was without counting on the stormy arrival of my best friend.

"Y/NNNNN!!!" she screamed, rushing towards me to hug me.

With fatigue and confusion, it took me a few seconds to realize it was indeed her standing in front of me, and suddenly, I felt overwhelmed by my emotions. Tears started to well up, blurring my vision.

"Oh my god, Ju'!" I said, stammering and nervously laughing.

"If you start crying, you know I'll cry too, so stop that right now," she warned me, furrowing her brows not to start crying herself.

"Sorry, sorry!" I said, chuckling and wiping my eyes. "I missed you so much!!" I said, shaking my hands before hugging her again.

I spent the rest of my day with her, talking about everything that had changed in my life since my departure, and for the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely good.

I felt like I was recharging, regaining all the positive energy I had been missing.

"Anyway, you know me; I wasn't going to let a jerk like him talk to me like that. So, I preferred to end our relationship, and it's for the best!" Julia told me.

She had just told me about her latest relationship with one of the lacrosse team players from our high school, and as usual, I couldn't help but think of him.

"Are you sure everything's okay, y/n? Since I started talking about Tom, I feel like you're not really here anymore?" she asked, concerned.

"No! Well, yes, it's okay; don't worry. It's just that—" I began to say before cutting myself off with a sigh. "It's nothing; it's just my return here made me rethink everything that happened before I left," I confessed.

"You mean what happened with Chris?" she said, giving me a sympathetic look. "Sorry, I know we're not supposed to talk about him. Excuse me, I forgot—" she added before I interrupted her.

"No, Julia, it's fine; it's okay. I'm better; I assure you it doesn't bother me anymore," I lied, smiling and grabbing her hand. "I'm better, I promise it doesn't bother me anymore," I lied.

"You know I love you," she said, smiling and squeezing my hand.

"Yeah, I know, I love you too," I replied, chuckling.

After this little discussion, Julia stayed overnight at my place. I eventually gave in and agreed to have the party at her house.

Deep down, I had a bit of hope to come across Chris. I know I shouldn't, but it's stronger than me...

I mean, I would like to know what he's become. Has he continued with lacrosse? Did he go to university? Or has he found a job he's passionate about? Does he still smoke? Has he rebuilt his life with other girls after me?

In a way, I wanted to know to reassure myself that he was doing better and that what I did didn't hurt him too much.

But on the other hand, selfishly, I hoped he had waited for me, that he hadn't seen other girls, and that he was still hoping, just like me, that one day we would meet again.

And God, I know how contradictory it is of me to hope for that when that night I made it clear to him that there would be no chance of things working out. But no matter how much I fought against what I wanted, I knew that my heart was still in his hands, and his alone.

I hate myself for being so stupid and not being able to move on, even though it was just a relationship between two completely lost teenagers for a few weeks.

But I had never experienced anything so genuine. Every conversation, every look, every caress, and every kiss haunt me...

They're still there in a corner of my mind, even though I try to push them away and tell myself it's for the best. My soul screams at me to find his. Maybe that was my punishment—for making him believe that our story could last, for making him believe that the girl he truly loved existed when it wasn't the case.

_________

"Are you sure it doesn't bother you that the lacrosse team is here tonight?" Julia asked me for the hundredth time today.

After our little pajama party at my place last night, we went to her place in the afternoon to prepare for the party tonight.

We were finishing getting ready, and people were supposed to arrive any minute.

"Ju', as I've repeated to you throughout the day, it's fine, it doesn't bother me. And besides, if you don't invite the lacrosse team, what excuse will you find to invite your little Tom and make him regret it?" I said mockingly to tease her.

"Ahaha, very funny. You know very well that I would have found a way, one way or another, to make him regret it!" she added, giving me a playful punch on the shoulder, making me chuckle.

"No, more seriously, y/n, if you're not ready to see Chris tonight, I don't mind kicking the lacrosse team out of the party," she added, becoming serious again.

I sighed before responding, "You know, anyway, I can't ignore him for the rest of my life."

"Julia, I know you're worried about me, but it's behind me, I promise it'll be fine," I reassured her with a reassuring smile.

She began to open her mouth to reply, but she was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell at the entrance.

"Well, it looks like the party is about to start!" she said all hysterical, and I followed her downstairs to welcome the first people.

In the span of thirty minutes, the house filled with teenagers ready to have a blast.

There were mostly people from our old high school; we barely knew half of them, but as Julia had told me, no one refuses a party in a big house like hers during the summer vacation.

It quickly turned into chaos; people were absolutely everywhere, and bottles of alcohol were aplenty, but still no sign of Chris on the horizon.

The party was in full swing; it was almost midnight, and in my despair of not seeing Chris show up, I ended up giving in and joining the game like everyone else, downing drinks one after another, which was not really in my usual habits.

Maybe it was better this way; the more alcoholic beverages passed through my throat, the less Chris haunted my mind. After all, maybe that was my solution.

"Oh, shit, sorry!" I said, bumping into a guy with my head down, making him drop his phone.

I bent down to pick it up before him, and when I raised my head, I came face to face with a face I knew all too well.

"Y/n?" the tall brunet said, looking surprised.

It took me a few seconds to realize it was indeed Matt in front of me.

Chris's brother...

"Oh my god, Matt," I said, surprised. "You're the last person I expected to see tonight!" I said, chuckling.

"And I thought you were on the other side of the country!" he said, also chuckling before opening his arms to hug me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked once our embrace was over.

If I had been a little more sober, this situation would probably have worried me, but at the moment, I was just happy to see him. Matt and I had spent very little time together, but just enough for meeting him at this party to make me super happy.

"I came back for the holidays," I replied, smiling.

"Oh, that's great," he said, smiling too. "You could have at least let us know!" he added, laughing.

"Hey, relax, I just arrived yesterday," I said, rolling my eyes.

Our conversation quickly ended, giving way to an awkward silence. So, without really thinking, I asked him the first question that came to my mind, "Did you come alone ?"

"Oh, um..." he began to say before taking a pause, as if he didn't really know if he should continue or not. "No, I came with my brothers," he said, clearing his throat and running his hand over his neck.

Chris is here.

Suddenly, everything clicked in my head; it was obvious how stupid my question was.

My head started spinning; alcohol seemed to take hold of me even more. It was as if realizing he was there for real had suddenly spiked my blood alcohol level.

"Are you okay, y/n?" he said, placing his hand on my shoulder, looking worried as he saw me pale.

"Um, yeah - yeah, don't worry, I'm just - I've had a bit to drink, you know, it's not really my thing!" I said with a nervous laugh, trying to hide my distress at the moment.

"Do you want me to get you a glass of water? Or something else? I'm sorry if it's me who put you in this state by talking about—" he started to say before I cut him off.

"No! - Matt, it's fine, everything's okay, it's not your fault. I'm just, I just need some fresh air, that's all," I added.

"Um, okay, do you want me to come with you?" he asked, and I could feel how uncomfortable he felt for me at that moment, and that was really the last thing I wanted.

"That's really nice, Matt, but it's okay, thank you. I'll be fine," I told him with a smile before walking towards the exit.

As I moved through the crowd, I prayed not to run into Chris. I didn't want to see him. I thought I was ready and that it was what I needed, but the state I am in right now proves otherwise.

Fuck this shit, I'm going to need more alcohol for sure to handle this.

In my rush towards the exit, I grabbed the first bottle of alcohol I saw lying around, whiskey - it couldn't get any harder.

Damn, will I ever manage to move on? Am I destined to feel like this for the rest of my days?

Finally reaching the front door, I felt my eyes fill with tears, making my vision completely blurry.

Once outside on the porch, I placed the bottle on the small coffee table there, sat on the outdoor couch, and allowed a few tears to flow.

I could hear the muffled sound of music inside, and paradoxically, the cicadas and the silence of the night outside.

A few minutes ago, I was fine, happy, enjoying the party with my friends, and it took me going back to thinking about him to ruin everything.

Physically, I wasn't doing that bad; I didn't feel the need to vomit or anything. I just had a bit of a spinning head and trouble standing up.

Mentally, though, it was a different story.

My sobbing was interrupted by a noise coming from a little further in the garden.

I raised my head with a start to scan the surroundings, wiping away my tears. I especially didn't want anyone to see the only girl crying at this party. I was already not considered a cool girl at school, but this would have been the icing on the cake.

There shouldn't be anyone outside; Julia had made it clear that she didn't want anyone in her mom's garden.

I spotted a silhouette in the dark, and eventually, I caught the smell of a joint. So, I sighed before getting up to get closer.

"Get out of here, idiot! Julia doesn't want anyone in her garden. It's not that complicated to follow such a simple rule," I shouted at the stranger, rolling my eyes.

He approached me until he reached the point where the porch light could illuminate him.

I took a step back, completely thrown off when I recognized his face.

"Sorry, I just got here. I didn't know we weren't allowed to hang out in the garden," he replied softly, keeping a reasonable distance from me.

"Chris?" that's all that could come out of my mouth at that moment; I was completely bewildered. What was I supposed to do at that moment?

My tears started to flow again, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

Chris stood there, not saying anything. He was as lost as I was at that moment, but I could see that seeing me cry was far from a pleasant thing for him.

He seemed hesitant, shook his head, and muttered to himself, rolling his eyes, "Fuck this."

The next moment, he took me into his arms, letting my head rest against his chest. It was as if he understood without me needing to express myself.

I broke down, letting my tears flow; that's what I needed—his arms around me. He held me tight, and I simply didn't want this moment to end. With my right hand, I clung to his t-shirt as if my life depended on it.

"Y/n, shhhh," he whispered, caressing my hair when my breathing became irregular due to my sobs.

I couldn't breathe; I felt suffocated. The more tears that fell, the worse it got, but, on the other hand, it felt good. All these emotions I had buried, all these tears I had prevented from flowing, were finally coming out.

"Y/n, calm down," he said, grabbing my cheeks with his hands and bringing his face to mine to look me in the eyes.

"Hey, look at me, look at me, breathe, everything's fine," he reassured me, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"I-I'm so—" I tried to speak, but I couldn't stop crying.

"I'm so sorry, Chris," I said with a broken and fragile voice, shaking my head.

"Y/n, it's okay, stop," he said, pinching his lips, and I could see tears welling up in his eyes, despite his efforts to suppress them.

"What I did—" I started, trying to calm down, "what I did to you—I had no right to do that. I'm sorry, Chris," I said, letting my head fall once again against his chest and starting to cry even harder.

"Y/n," he said, seizing my face again to look at me, "Y/n, I’m not mad at you. Look at me, I'm fine, everything's fine; it's behind us."

"It's not behind me, Chris," I told him, shaking my head and stepping back.

"It's not behind me at all. It continues to eat me up inside every day! I tried for two years!" I told him with a forced laugh, wiping my tears. "Two years, Chris, two years trying everything to get you out of my head and to stop hoping that things would go back to normal!" I added.

"Y/n—" he said, passing his hand over his face before I cut him off.

"How can you not resent me after what I did to you!?" I said, completely lost.

"Because that's life, y/n!" he said, raising his voice and advancing towards me.

"Because people come in and out of your life, tearing your heart out against their will!" he added, and I just closed my mouth; I didn't expect him to express himself like this.

"Y/n, I could have chosen to hate you, yes, it's true! I could have chosen to keep acting like an idiot and keep destroying myself slowly, as I did in the first months after you left!" he continued to say, carried away by his emotions.

"But what would it have served? What would it have served to keep making the same mistakes all my life?" he asked, and I simply nodded, dumbfounded.

"Y/n, I tried to hate you to make the pill go down more easily, believe me. But how could I hate a girl like you?" he asked, tears in his eyes.

"How could I hate the only woman who managed to open my heart and show me that there's always hope?" he continued, this time advancing towards me, and my heart started racing in my chest.

"I got my act together because you deserved someone better. You deserved to know that I was doing well, and I knew! Believe me, I knew how much you blamed yourself," he said, wiping my tears.

"That night when you told me straight in the eyes that you no longer loved me and that you no longer believed in us, I knew you were lying to protect me," he said, and I felt tears flowing again.

"You lied to me to protect me without even thinking about yourself. You put me before you, where no one had done it before," he continued, tapping his chest.

"Chris—" I said with a weak voice.

"No, I don't blame you, y/n. I don't blame you because I know you simply didn't have the choice to do that," he said, wiping my tears.

"And these last two years, I lived in doubt because I wasn't sure 100%, but when I saw your gaze on this porch, all my doubts flew away, and now I know," he said, plunging his eyes into mine.

I looked into his eyes; I had managed to regain normal breathing, and everything he had just told me had calmed my heart.

The open wound in my chest, bleeding and letting all my distress pour out, was closing.

I didn't know what to add; I didn't know what to say to him. It felt like a million things were happening in my mind, but what could it possibly mean?

And then my thoughts escaped my mind, fixating on his blue eyes, his pure eyes, his sincere gaze fixed on me.

I had forgotten how beautiful this man was.

I became aware of his warm hands on my cheeks; my heartbeat quickened, and I thought I saw a glint of desire growing in his eyes.

The silence became heavy, yet neither of us wanted to say anything.

Our faces slowly approached, and my eyes juggled between his and his lips.

What was happening? Was it supposed to be good? Or bad?

I wanted to throw myself at him, yes, but was it correct? Was it the alcohol? Did I misinterpret what was happening?

"Chris—" I said in a soft, almost inaudible voice before he closed the gap between our lips.

Shivers ran through my entire body; it was soft and so good.

His soft lips moved perfectly against mine.

One of his hands resting on my cheek slid down to the small of my back.

Meanwhile, my two hands found their place on his chest, and our kiss deepened.

This kiss, originally meant to say ‘welcome home’, quickly became more profound.

Our tongues collided; things escalated. The hand that rested on my waist descended to grip my hip, while one of my hands left his chest to settle on the side of his neck.

I felt something reignite in me, something I hadn't felt in a very long time: desire.

I became aware of what was happening, and I snapped out of this trance by stepping back and opening my eyes.

I caught my breath before telling him, "Chris."

"I'm sorry," he said, catching his breath too.

"We can't do this; we can't revisit this. I'm back in Boston only for the holidays," I said, shaking my head, trying to think of something else.

"Sorry, I don't know what came over me; I shouldn't have." he said, running his hand through his hair.

"It's okay," I said, stepping towards him and placing my hand on his shoulder.

"I just found you again when I didn't think I'd have this chance; I want to do things right," I confessed.

"So, does that mean we're friends now?" he asked, and his question tore at my heart because, of course, I didn't want to be just friends. But things were too complicated for us to allow anything more.

"Yes, it means we're friends," I said, smiling slightly, and he returned a smile.

"I missed you," he said, hugging me.

"Missed you too," I replied, "feels like it's been ages since we last caught up," I added, chuckling.

"You must have hundreds of things to tell me then," he said, separating and smiling.

"I don't want to spoil your evening with my stories; it can wait," I told him, running my hand through my nape.

"Y/n, I went out to smoke a joint alone because this party is really lame," he said, rolling his eyes, "so believe me, I'd rather sit here with you and listen to everything you have to tell me."

"Hey, it's my comeback night, you're not allowed to say it's lame!" I told him, offended, giving him a shoulder punch.

"Okay, okay, sorry!" he said, laughing, before sitting on the couch, and I followed suit.

He took a joint out of his pocket, and before lighting it, he turned to me. "Hmm, want some?"

"Oh no, thanks, I'll stick to this tonight," I said, grabbing the bottle I'd left on the small table.

"Whiskey?" he said, surprised, "who are you?" he joked.

"Shut up, idiot, I grabbed the first bottle I came across on my way here," I said, rolling my eyes.

The conversation flowed naturally between us; it was almost as if we had never been apart. Of course, in two years, both he and I had changed a lot, so it was a bit strange. However, that connection, that complicity we had, seemed intact.

I'm not sure how long we stayed on that porch, talking, but the bottle I had drunk was already half empty, and Chris must have been on his third joint since the beginning of our conversation.

"I can't believe you told him that!" Chris said, laughing.

"I warned you; I'm not the helpless little girl I used to be," I replied, chuckling and shrugging.

"Yeah, I saw that," he said, gradually stopping his laughter.

The silence returned, and I was lost in my thoughts, already quite tipsy and in a curious mood.

I had been hesitating for several minutes, debating whether to ask him a question. The more I drank, the more I wanted to ask, even though I knew it wasn't the best idea.

"Chris?" I finally said softly, breaking the silence.

"Hmm?" he simply replied, turning his head towards me.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked him timidly.

"You just did," he said with a smirk.

"No, seriously, stop it!" I said, laughing and giving him a shoulder punch.

He straightened up, turning completely towards me, resting his head on his hand with his arm leaning against the top of the couch. "Seriously, I'm listening," he said, still with that sly smile.

His eyes were red and squinted because of the weed, and I won't lie, it made him quite sexy... or maybe I had had a bit too much to drink; what was I even saying?

"Have you dated other girls since we broke up?" I asked, instantly regretting it.

"Y/n—" he began before I cut him off.

"Sorry, that was a dumb question. I don't know what got into me," I said, hiding my face with my hands.

He chuckled at my action. "It's okay; I don't mind answering if you answer too..." he said, shrugging.

I removed my face from my hands to look up at him.

"But are you sure you really want to hear my answer?" he added.

I just nodded.

"I've slept with other girls, yes," he began, and I cut him off without thinking.

"How many?" I asked, sitting up.

"I don't really know, two or three, but they were just casual things, especially at the beginning when I needed to distract myself," he explained, feeling the need to justify himself.

"Okay... and why?" I asked.

"Why what?" he asked, confused.

"Why casual? In two years, you had plenty of time to find another amazing girl to be with. You can't make me believe that as the first one to fall for you, no other girl wanted you," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I didn't want to..." he confessed to me. "I— " he started before sighing, "I'm not sure if it's a good idea to explain why," he said, looking away.

"No, tell me; I want to know now," I urged him.

"Y/n," he said, looking me in the eyes.

"Chris, please, it's okay; we're just talking," I said, eager to know more.

"None of those girls were comparable to you," he admitted, "and I know it sounds silly, but it's just the truth. I couldn't get interested in those girls, and it wasn't their fault; they were interesting, and in another context, it might have worked with them," he said honestly.

"But my mind kept comparing them to you; none of them talked like you," he started saying, "none of them laughed like you," he added.

"None of them kissed like you," he said, looking at my lips, and I felt my panties dampen at that. Fuck.

"Every time I slept with another girl, I couldn't help but think of you, your body, and your moans," he said, lost in his thoughts.

"I couldn't stop thinking about how your lips wrapped so perfectly around me," he said, and I had to slightly open my mouth to get more air.

He shook his head, snapping back to reality. "Anyway, until now, I haven't been able to settle down with another girl because the only one I have in my mind is you," he said shyly.

I stared at him, mouth agape. I was dying to have him; everything he just told me had me way too excited.

"And you?" he asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I said, clearing my throat.

"And you, have you dated other guys?" he said, chuckling.

"Oh!" I said, blushing. "No, none," I replied timidly.

"None?" he repeated, surprised, and I simply shook my head from side to side.

"And how many guys have you slept with then?" he asked.

I took a moment to answer, embarrassed by the situation.

"Y/n, it's okay; you can tell me. I just told you mine!" he said, rolling his eyes.

"I-" I said before sighing and biting my lip, and he furrowed his brows.

"None..." I said softly.

His eyes widened at my response.

"Are you serious?" he asked to make sure.

"Stop it; you know very well that I'm not the type to sleep around," I said, feeling awkward.

"No, I know that; it's just hard for me to conceive that you've managed two years without sex," he said with a smirk.

"Wait, what does that mean?" I said, furrowing my brows.

"Y/n, when we were together, you played the innocent a lot, but you can't deny that you were just as horny as I was, if it’s not more…" he said, laughing.

"Chris!" I said, bringing my hand to my mouth before chuckling as well.

"No, I'm not saying it's a bad thing; on the contrary, it was something I loved about you," he said honestly.

"I even found it rather sexy..." he added, shrugging.

I squeezed my thighs together at that moment, and Chris noticed because I saw his eyes leave mine and land on my thighs.

"We should change the subject," I said, taking a deep breath and running my hands over my thighs, a bit embarrassed.

"Sorry, I didn't know it would have that effect on you," he said, unable to help but smile.

"It's okay," I said, biting my lip.

We looked at each other for a moment, both feeling a bit awkward.

His eyes briefly shifted to my chest, and that was the last straw for me.

Without thinking twice, I straddled him, immediately connecting our lips. He didn't waste a second to put his hands on my hips, making me moan.

He took the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth, and I started rocking my hips against him, making him groan in response.

His hands came to grip my hips to stop my movements, eliciting a frustrated groan from me.

"Y/n, this isn't right," he said, separating our lips.

"Chris, I don't care," I said, reconnecting our lips instantly. I was too hungry to stop there.

My hip movements resumed, and I could feel his erection through his jeans.

My hands were on his cheeks, and his hands firmly held my hips.

"You said we should do things right and that we were friends," he said, separating our lips again.

"Y/n, you've been drinking, and I don't want it to be something you regret tomorrow," he added.

"Some friends sleep together sometimes..." I said innocently, playing with his necklace.

He bit his lip and looked away. If there was one thing that could make this man weak, it was my way of acting innocently with him.

"Y/n," he said, closing his eyes and letting out a frustrated groan.

I knew I could make him crack; I just had to tease him enough.

I buried my head in his neck to kiss and leave a few love bites.

He tossed his head back to give me better access. "Fuck..." he whispered, and I slowly resumed my hip movements.

"Y/n, stop this," he said weakly, still with his fingers dug into my hips.

"Make me stop," I whispered in his ear before leaving a trail of kisses on his jawline.

"Y/n," he said in a firm voice this time, grabbing me by the neck to make me face him. "Don't play with my nerves like that."

"Chris, please," I said, gripping the wrist of the hand around my neck.

"I'm the one asking you. It's just a favor we're doing each other as friends," I said with a slight moan. "You help me fill the void I've felt for 2 years, and I give you the opportunity not to have to just imagine fucking me for once," I added.

"You said it yourself, no girl moans like me, no one kisses you like me, and their lips don't wrap around you as well as mine do," I continued to convince him.

"It's just a one-time thing. After that, I swear we'll be just friends for real, please, Chris, I need you," I pleaded.

I don't know if it was the alcohol or simply the lack of sex, but I never thought I'd be capable of saying such things to a guy in my life.

"Just a one-time thing?" he asked.

"Just a one-time thing," I replied, nodding.

"Fuck, this is so fucking wrong, y/n. What are you doing to me?" he said before kissing me again without removing his hand from my neck.

He slid his hand under my dress to grab my ass and massage it while helping me grind against him.

"Mmph, Chris," I moaned into our kiss.

"Shhhh," he said, slapping my ass.

I started pulling at his T-shirt to signal that I wanted him to take it off.

"Not here, princess," he said, smiling against my lips before separating them. "Stand up," he ordered, and I obeyed.

He stood up as well, firmly grabbing my hand before guiding us inside.

We quickly made our way through the crowd, passing by Nick, who tried to stop us, but Chris simply ignored him, too busy at that moment trying not to bend me over one of the tables in the house to fuck me in front of everyone.

We climbed the stairs, and Chris opened the first door he saw, which happened to lead to Julia's room. If she finds out about this, she's going to kill me.

He slammed the door shut behind us, making sure to lock it.

Then, he pressed me against that door, tightening his grip around my neck just enough to restrict the blood flow, causing my head to spin.

He wasted no time in forcefully removing my dress, it was so abrupt that he could have torn it if he wanted.

"Chris, be careful, take it easy," I said, chuckling, before he silenced me with yet another kiss.

"Don't ask me to fucking take it easy when you've spent the last 10 minutes teasing me on that damn couch, y/n," he said, removing his T-shirt.

He took off my bra, adding, "I fucking missed you."

The next moment, he slid his hands to the back of my thighs and lifted me, making me moan in surprise. It seemed like the hold he had on me back then hadn't changed.

He reconnected our lips, heading towards the bed where he tossed me, making me moan again from the sudden force.

"Chris," I sighed in a heated breath as I sat up, facing him at waist height.

But before I could reach for his belt to undress him, he violently pushed me back. "You'll move when I tell you to move. Have you forgotten your manners?" he said, a smirk playing on his lips.

His gaze was dark and intense; he could have threatened to kill me, and I would have moaned because of how much he affected me.

"Touch yourself," he ordered.

"What?" I said, feeling my face turn all red.

"Don't make me repeat myself; you heard me," he said authoritatively.

I swallowed hard before starting to take off my panties.

"I didn't tell you to remove your panties," he said, interrupting me.

"But—" I began to say before he cut me off.

"Is it so hard to be a good girl, Y/n? In two years, have you forgotten everything?" he said, shaking his head.

His words made me even wetter; I dreamed of one thing only: feeling him inside me.

"No, sorry," I said before starting to make circular motions on my clit through my panties.

He licked his lips, slowly removing his belt without taking his eyes off me.

"Stand up," he ordered.

Without hesitation, I stood up, still looking at him innocently in the eyes.

"You are so fucking beautiful, Y/n," he said, holding me by the chin.

His compliment made me immediately smile and blush.

"Your wrists," he asked, letting go of my chin, and I handed him my wrists.

With his belt, he tied my wrists together before kissing me.

He leaned towards me without breaking our lips to signal me to lie down on the mattress, which I did.

He separated our lips for a brief moment to press my arms above my head. "Don't move," he whispered before sliding his lips into my neck.

"My poor baby, I can't believe you've abstained for 2 years," he said before descending his kisses towards my chest.

"Now that I'm here, I'll take care of that for you, my princess," he said, circling one of my nipples with his lips to kiss it.

"Chris, please," I moaned, wriggling a bit.

"Shhhh, be patient, believe me, I won't stop there," he said before starting to descend his kisses towards my lower abdomen.

The closer he got to my thighs, the more I felt like I was losing my mind. It had been so long since I had felt that burning desire between my legs.

"Fuck, Chris, stop, please, I need you," I pathetically begged when he started to kiss my pussy through my panties.

He just chuckled at my pleas before removing my panties and diving his head between my legs.

He surrounded my clit with his lips, and I couldn't hold back the moans that escaped my mouth at that moment.

Lost in my own pleasure and especially completely carried away by the sensation of his tongue against me, I brought my two hands, still tied, to his hair to hold on.

He lifted his lips from me, making me raise my head towards him. "No, don't stop, Chris!" I said desperately.

"I told you not to move, Y/n," he reminded me, placing my hands back above my head.

"I'm sorry, I had—" I was interrupted in the middle of my sentence by his hands abruptly grabbing my waist to turn me over.

"What are you doing?" I said in a surprised moan when he grabbed my hips to put my ass in the air.

"This way, you'll have a much harder time moving," he said, and I could hear the smugness in his tone.

He kissed the base of my lower back, making me shiver, ensuring that my head remained pressed against the mattress below me.

He then placed a few kisses on my ass before resuming his work between my legs.

One of his hands kneaded my ass while he teased my entrance with the fingers of his other hand.

"Oh my—Chris," I said when he accelerated his tongue movements.

The sensation in my lower abdomen that I hadn't felt in so long was building up again; I was extremely close.

"C-Chris, I'm gonna cum," I moaned, burying my head in the pillow to try to muffle the sound of my moans.

"Give it to me, baby," he said, inserting two of his fingers into me and reconnecting his tongue to my clit.

"Fuck, Chris!" I exclaimed, feeling my legs tremble, and within seconds, my orgasm overwhelmed me.

Chris didn't detach his lips from me; he continued, and his fingers didn't slow down either. "Chris, I- I can't," I told him, breathless.

He detached himself from me at the sound of my words and turned me over again onto the mattress to kiss me.

I put my hands, still tied behind his neck, to bring him impossibly closer to me, which seemed to amuse him, judging by the way he smiled against my lips.

"You taste so fucking good, baby," he complimented me between our kisses, and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

I was still very sensitive, but I wanted more, I needed more.

So, I tightened my legs around his waist so that his erection pressed against my pussy.

"Are you that impatient?" he chuckled before reaching between our bodies to unbutton his pants, and I just nodded.

He straightened up to completely remove his pants and boxers before returning to position himself between my legs.

"If it hadn't been so long, I would've edged you for hours," he said, rubbing his tip against my thighs without entering.

"Chris, please, stop talking—" Before I could finish my sentence, he entered me without warning, making me moan in harmony with him.

"Oh my god, y/n, fuck, you're so—" I didn't let him finish his sentence, immediately capturing his lips in a passionate kiss.

He started moving inside me slowly, taking care to go all the way in with each thrust.

Our lips were still connected, our tongues perfectly synchronized—everything was perfect with him.

His pelvic movements accelerated, prompting me to throw my head back to moan once again.

"God, I'll never get tired of the sounds you make. Fuck, it's too good," Chris said, moaning as well, his head completely immersed in my neck, where he left fiery kisses.

"Chris—mmph," I started to speak but couldn't formulate my words correctly. Chris fucked me so well that I lost my words.

"What, baby? What do you want?" he said, seizing my chin to make me look into his eyes.

"I want to—fuck!" I said, moaning and closing my eyes. I felt him everywhere in me; it was too good.

"You can do it, sweetheart. Take your time," he said with a smirk, not slowing down.

"I want to touch you," I said, moaning again. "Please, Chris, I need to feel you," I begged.

He momentarily straightened up without pulling out to unfasten the belt around my wrists.

"Here you go, baby," he said in a soft voice before kissing me again.

This time, my hands went into his hair, neck, and back. I dug my nails into his back and biceps, completely controlled by my pleasure, and began to feel all these sensations invade me.

"Chris, oh my god, I'm so close!" I whined.

He sat up on his knees without pulling out. I moaned as he grabbed my legs and pulled them closer, penetrating even deeper.

"Mmmh, Chris," I moaned, raising my head to look at him.

"Shhhh," he said, placing my legs on either side of his head and encircling my knees with his arms to make sure I couldn't move.

He began thrusting into me at an unbearable speed, and the new angle allowed him to go really deep. His eyes were fixed on the lower part of my belly, where he could see himself entering and exiting. "Fuck," he exclaimed, keeping his mouth open.

"Chris! Chris, fu—god, don't stop!" I said, feeling my orgasm hit me hard when I started clenching around him. He spread my legs again to kiss me while still penetrating me, allowing me to ride out my orgasm.

He gradually stopped his pelvic movements while continuing to kiss me. Our kiss was tired and messy, but he didn't stop there.

We were both catching our breath. He separated our lips, pressing his forehead against mine. We stayed like that for a few seconds before he straightened up and withdrew from me, making me moan because I was still extremely sensitive.

I expected anything but what he did the next second. He grabbed me by the hips and turned me over again, pushing me on all fours.

"Chris, what—" Before I could finish my sentence, he started pounding into me without mercy, making me cry out in surprise and pleasure.

"Oh my fuck, Chris, I can't!" I told him, burying my head in the pillow once again.

"Yes, of course, you can. I know you have one more for me," he said without slowing down this time, bringing his fingers to my clit, making my eyes roll back in my head.

It felt so good, but I was still too sensitive; he didn't give me enough respite. I felt like my heart was going to give out from the intensity. I couldn't help but moan, even though I was unsure if I really wanted him to stop because I could already feel my third orgasm approaching.

"Do you really want me to stop?" he said in my ear, slowing down and pressing his chest against my back.

When he slowed down, I felt my orgasm slipping away, and I thought I was losing my mind. "No! Don’t stop, I can take it!" I said, shaking my head.

He wrapped his arm around my throat to hold me in place "that's my girl," he said and sank his teeth into my shoulder, mixing pleasure and pain in the best way possible. He sped up again, his fingers massaging my clit, and his shaft going as deep as possible, making me see stars.

I was close, and so was he; I could feel it in the way he moaned. "Y/n, oh my—"

"Chris, I'm so close," I cried, feeling my orgasm on the verge of exploding.

"Give it to me, baby. Fuck, cum for me, princess," he said, and that was all I needed to climax. This one was more intense than the others, stronger and more hypnotic.

After a few more thrusts, Chris also came, moaning my name in my ear. "Oh my god," he said, breathless, before pulling out and collapsing beside me.

I didn't move a muscle, too exhausted from everything that had just happened. "Are you okay, baby?" he asked, concerned, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just need to catch my breath," I replied, chuckling.

He laughed too before getting up to find something to clean me up. After a few minutes catching my breath in Chris's arms, we decided to get dressed and join our friends downstairs before someone noticed our absence.

And when I say someone, I obviously mean Julia, who will probably kill me when she finds out I slept with Chris in her bed.

Before leaving Julia's room, Chris kissed me one last time. "I missed you so fucking much," he said.

I chuckled before replying, "I missed you too, but we need to leave this room now." I said playfully, giving him a playful punch on the shoulder.

We finally left the room, and our paths separated when we arrived in the living room because Nick needed to talk to Chris privately.

I was about to join my best friend when I felt someone grab my arm.

I turned to see who it was and found myself face to face with a girl with brown hair and light eyes.

"Who the fuck are you?" she asked me, full of rage.

I was completely confused because I didn't know this girl at all, and I didn't understand why she was addressing me this way.

"Hmm? Y/n, who are you?" I asked, furrowing my brows.

Her eyes widened when she heard my name, and she let out a fake laugh at my response.

"I'm Tess, Chris's girlfriend!" she said with a big smile before approaching me. "So I suggest you keep your distance from him if you don't want me to bash your little depraved slut face!" she said, pushing me before turning on her heel and walking away.

Chris's girlfriend?!!

What the fuck?

Taglist: @chrisloyalgf @christopherscamopants @blahbel668 @thematthewlover @mattsturnioloarchive @carolinalikesthings @bernardsgf @whicked-hazlatwhore @hearts4chris

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo edit #nicolas sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #smut #teach me

[sunshine-jesse]

It wasn't okay.

Someone gave me the idea to write an analysis in the form of a fanfiction, so this is what I coughed up.

I haven't written a fanfiction in 10 years, so bear with me. There is also no smut here; sorry to disappoint. Maybe once I become more confident in my fanfic writing lmao

Ashley almost thought it'd be okay.

"Yeah, I'm dating Julia now."

Ashley thought she'd be able to handle it. But she knew better. She's always known better. And Andrew did, too. It's why he took so long to tell her. She's never been able to keep her fucking mouth shut, but why should she? He's the one who lets her down. He's the one who tries to distance himself from her! He tries and he tries and he tries but he fails, every time.

But now, she's not so sure.

"WE HAD AN AGREEMENT, ANDREW!"

Her words seem to fall on deaf ears, but his gaze never diverts from her eyes. She can see it plainly in his face- his anger, his exasperation, his frustration. She's always been so good at reading him, and now is no different.

"So why? Why do you keep doing this?! Why do you keep trying to distance yourself from me?! Am I not good enough?"

"Ashley…"

"I've always been the only one you can rely on, Andrew! The only one you can talk to! So why?! Why do you keep trying to find other people?! And why Julia, of all people?! Why her?!"

"Ashley."

"What is she giving you that I can't?! Why can't you just be happy with me?!"

"Ashley!"

"No, Andrew! Your excuses aren't good enough! Nothing I do is ever enough! You always want MORE!"

Ah, how close she was to being right, yet how distant she was from the reason.

He has to be dating her out of pity, right? Ever since __ died, Julia hasn't been able to keep that knife away from her arm. She wears arm-warmers now to hide them, but Ashley knows better. Everyone does. And maybe now, Andrew is trying to make it right.

"It's out of pity, isn't it? You feel guilty over what happened to that bitch, and-"

Andrew closes the gap between the two of them, his gaze growing significantly more dire. A lump appears in Ashley's throat. She doesn't know what it's from, and can't process just how much danger she's really in. She could read Andy just fine, but the Andrew that was starting to surface was a different story entirely. But Andrew stays his hand and walks away, never once breaking eye contact with her until he walks out of the door.

Ashley is left alone, confused and afraid. She thinks the fear is from the thought of Andrew leaving her for good, but it's not. All she knows is that she is afraid of getting hurt again, no matter what kind of hurt it is. It's all the same to her. But this fear doesn't get any better over time; it gets worse. As Andrew is out, the sinking feeling in Ashley's gut and the cold grasp she feels over her heart grows more and more profound. Her breathing grows labored. He's going to leave her for good, isn't he? No matter how much she breathes, she never feels satisfied. Every thought spurs her to gasp for more air:

Why is he doing this? Why is he dating her? Why can't she calm down? Why did he still seek comfort from Ashley in the dead of night this past week, despite having been dating Julia for that long? Why can't she calm down? Is there something Julia can do that Ashley can't? Why can't she calm down? Is it the fact that Julia can fuck him but Ashley can't? Why can't she calm down? Is it him trying to distance himself? Why can't she calm down? Is it him trying to be normal is it him trying to forget is it him trying to make up for Nina or is it him-

"WHY CAN'T I FUCKING BREATHE???"

The icy cold grip on her heart turns into a sharp pain in her chest, a stake being driven right through it. What little breath she had left was stolen from Ashley, her hands growing numb.

Her course of action becomes clear:

She has to break them apart. She HAS to.

Ashley runs towards the phone and goes to dial the number. If Julia knew the truth about Nina, if she knew what they did, there's no way she'd still like Andrew. There's no way they'd still be together. She'd have to break up with him, and then Andrew and Ashley would be stuck together forever. She goes to dial the number.

But she freezes.

She feels her throat close up, words unable to escape her mouth. She agreed to never speak of it to anyone else ever again, and that oath was being enforced. But by whom? Why did she feel like she was being watched? Her parents were gone, and so was Andrew. So who was watching her? Why were they watching her?

With every number she dialed, she feels weaker and weaker. She feels like she's going to pass out. And when she finally calls…

"J-Julia! I need to tell…-"

…luckily, they were still home. Every word Ashley spoke was punctuated by a desperate gasp of air. And at the last moment, rather than revealing the truth, she changes her mind. She needs her Andy back. But she needs to get him back without breaking her end of the agreement. After all, that's the least she could do, isn't it?

The least Ashley could do was stay committed. That's all she has going for her. Her love, her dedication, her commitment. If she couldn't at least offer that, does she even deserve Andrew, no matter how much she feels she needs him?

She wouldn't, because that's all she thought she could offer him: Herself. But now, she was starting to wonder whether even that was enough.

"Andy. I think-… I'm having…"

She forces out her last few words…

"…a heart attack."

Before collapsing on the ground, a loud THUMP echoing on the other side of the phone.

It doesn't take long for her beloved Andy to come home after that. He looks terrified, but Ashley smiles, and grabs the bump on her head.

"Took you long enough, asshole."

Andy was less than pleased, but at least she knows that he still cared for her. It calms her down so quickly and abruptly that it looks like she was faking it. She even thought she might've been. But as long as her Andy was back, everything was okay. As long as she knew she could do something for him, everything was fine.

Andrew still slept in Ashley's bed that night, despite what happened. He still sought her comfort, no matter what. Julia wasn't good enough for him. She'd never be good enough. And yet as long as she still existed, Ashley would forever feel herself growing distant from Andy. Andy was lying to himself. He had to have been. There's no way he could want to be away from Ashley while still seeking so much from her, right? Julia had to be dealt with, she had to be taken out of the picture. It didn't much matter how. And so, the next morning, when Andy is away, she picks up the phone, dials Julia's number, and-…

… …

It feels like it's been so long since then.

So distant from the way things are now, that you feel like an entirely different person; like you're watching a performance.

When the dream ends, you shoot up in panic. You look down to your side, and see Andrew, sleeping. You look upon his back, and see your scratch marks still there, and you can't help but smirk. Ah, you really got into it, didn't you? You never saw yourself as that kind of person, but it makes sense, now that you're so much less afraid of losing him.

You know you're awake now, and in a time and place where things are much better, and yet, some of your past still lingers. You can't help but still feel afraid that he'll leave, just like everyone else has. And worse, you fear it'll be your fault. But now everyone is finally honest with themselves and what they want. Now things can finally heal. Now things can finally get better.

Now you can finally dream. Now you can finally hate what you see.

Now you are finally the one who needs to be held at night.

#andrew graves #ashley graves #the coffin of andy and leyley #gravecest #tcoaal #gaming #this is a smut free zone #tcoaal essay #fanfic

[mararhodus]

So, like, I saw Madame Web and everybody seems to be treating it like a Morbius and it's not. In fact, I think it's got a lot to like about it, actually. It's just not a very well structured film. Here's the big things I really liked:

1. Dakota Johnson is good as Cassandra Webb. I think she has a similar issue to Kristen Stewart, where her first big film was a bad movie aimed at women, so men will never shut the fuck up about it when talking about her acting ability. Granted, Kristen Stewart has also had a wider array of good films to point to when praising her, but still (Side note: watch Bad Times at the El Royale)

2. She and Adam Scott play off each other well and it's great that he gets to be a version of Ben Parker that isn't so tied to Peter's story, making him feel like an actual character

3. The trio of Spider-Women, Julia, Maddy, and Anya, end up really feeling like kids thrust into this dangerous situation and, while there isn't enough focus on them, the sisterly bond they develop feels genuine. Their costumes are also very cool adaptations of their comics looks, even if they don't get to wear them

4. The villain, while not particularly interesting in motivation, gets to use his spider powers and a twisted version of the classic Spider-Man suit to be quite creepy at some points, whether it be yanking people into the darkness of the subway or the way he moves or his poisonous touch

5. They do not cop out on Web's disability. By the end of the film, the character is both blind and a wheelchair user, two things that are an intrinsic part of her character in the comics and something that an unfortunate amount of films (but particularly action films) don't let leads be.

I want to also add something that is neither a negative or a positive to this, just as a little addendum. This universe's Peter Parker was born in 2003. You know, the year after Tobey Maguire's Spidey defeated the Green Goblin. What the hell

#madame web #film thoughts

[princeescaluswords]

Delivering Justice

(Should Scott deliver justice for the Hale family before or after this scene?)

I can't get out of my head the Teen Wolf rewrite idea that appeared in the #scott mccall tag (because of course it did). Let me reproduce it.

I want someone to rewrite Teen Wolf, but making it about Scott bringing Justice to the Hales and restoring some sort of supernatural balance, and saving the town from a curse or destruction or whatever brought on by that crime, by bringing justice and forcing the Argents to face the consequences of their actions, from both a human and a cosmic pov (i still think Allison should have been the one to kill Kate). Even if he doesn’t like the guy because of his issues with male authority, he sees that what happened was an atrocity and vows to make things right.

The fundamental racism of this post is undeniable. The fundamental misogyny of this post comes in a very close second. I'm sure that some people are scratching their heads about how I came to this conclusion, so let me explain. It's about whose lives are considered important.

Notice, first off, that in this proposed rewrite, they don't talk about what happens to Scott at all. What will change for him in this story? Is he still a sixteen-year-old lacrosse player at the start with asthma and a broken home? Is he still attacked by a power-mad Peter in the woods and transformed against his will? Does Peter still mentally and physically violate him? Does Derek still stalk him, beat him, manipulate him and sell him out to his uncle? Will Derek and Peter be required to set aside their own personal trauma to train Scott to be able to "bring justice" to the Argents or will Scott just have to figure it out by himself with the help of his just-as-much-in-over-his-head best friend once again?

As an aside, Scott does not have issues with male authority, because the Hales were not authorities over him. See here.

Notice that the consequences of actions should only fall upon the Argent family. Maybe after Scott is done restoring the balance for the Hale Fire, he can restore the balance for Paige Kraiskeva? Or for Julia Baccari? Or Braeden? Or Marie-Jeanne? Or for the entire village in Gévaudan? Or for the victims of Aiden and Ethan's alpha? I have a feeling that the OP may not know who half those people are, so let me put it another way. The show made it clear that the Hale Fire wasn't unique. Derek said as much. The endless war between Werewolf and Hunter has continued for centuries. Why does this particular instance need balancing? Because good looking white men cried about it? Because the primary culprit was a woman? In any event, why is it a good thing that Allison should have to pay for Kate's crimes? What is attractive about having Allison murder her aunt, someone she sees as her sister, for a crime that happened when she was eleven years old? Or does Allison have to earn the right to be a good guy by killing another woman?

Notice that the OP completely missed that Teen Wolf was almost entirely about Scott bringing justice and restoring supernatural balance! He did it by saying "No!." He did it by stopping the self-destructive spiral of endless vengeance. He did it by refusing to accept the ancient calculus that a crime can only be redressed by committing more crimes. He did it by valuing each life, ranging from a supernatural serial killing werewolf who personally tormented him to people he didn't even know, for their own sake. He delivered it by not privileging one life over another. That was Teen Wolf's central tenet! The Hale Fire would never be balanced by an Argent fire; it would only be balanced by Hale Auto.

This is the poison that runs through the core of this fandom. It isn't enough that Scott spent the first 36 episodes of a show which was supposed to be about him cleaning up the mess of the Hale/Argent feud. It isn't enough that he looked past Peter's viciousness, Derek's brutality, and Cora's hostility to care for them when he absolutely did not have to. Of course not; it will never be enough, not for a fandom that says, again and again and again for over 12 effing years: "I love Teen Wolf, but I would love it more if it was entirely about white people!"

BUT IT'S NOT RACISM.

#scott mccall #scott mccall defense squad #fandom racism #allison argent #fandom misogyny #derek hale #peter hale

[fideidefenswhore]

So Anne Boleyn didn't want her nephew Henry Carey at court cause he was supposedly disabled? Just like Gregory, Borman turned a good thing Anne did for her sister into a nasty thing? What evidence does she shows for Henry being disabled, or Anne not wanting him around? And for goodness' sake, isn't it strange that some historians and fiction writers seem to hate Anne (like Borman or Weir) but can't help to end up writing about her, because, let's face it, ANNE BOLEYN SELLS! They must feel so bad for always having to return return to this woman they are so eager to portray as the Worst Human Being Ever.

Literally none, and I'm not even joking. There's no citation, no additional information or details, she doesn't even name this nephew so I don't even know if it's Henry Carey to whom she's referring, or one of the Stafford children (whose existence/survival remains disputed), or even the later Elizabethan priest, George Boleyn, dean of Lichfield, who has been erroneously labeled as the son of Viscount Rochford, George Boleyn(illegitimate at times, by marriage other times), Julia Fox has argued for the likelihood he was some distant Boleyn cousin, and I'm inclined to agree. The claim is dropped into a paragraph about the perils of childbirth to contextualize Anne's own potential fears as if from the sky:

Worse still, Anne's closest female relations had suffered an unfortunate history in this respect. Her mother had lost several babies in infancy and her sister, Mary, had borne a son with mental disabilities whom Anne would not suffer to be at court. But in her favour was the fact that her health was generally considered good, and as one observer remarked, she seemed 'likely enough to bear children.' --Elizabeth's Women, Tracy Borman

So...yeah, if who she meant here was Henry Carey, I have no idea what she's talking about, A, and B, this is the sole* "factoid" she chose to mention about their relationship? Not that she had wardship of him, not that she arranged for him to receive his education from the scholar she patronized, Nicholas Bourbon, alongside Henry Norris (the younger), Henry Dudley, and the son of Nicholas Harvey, her 'strong partisan' and the husband of her great friend, Bridget Wingfield...all signs which point to Carey being in Anne's favour. I have no idea if he was ever at court, but if there's no record of him at court while Anne was queen, does it not seem more plausible to attribute this to A) how brief that time was and/or B) that his mother was banished from court due to the marriage she had made without royal permission?

I just don't...know, with Borman, really? It'd be interesting to have the unedited interview footage from BSR because I was surprised how overall sympathetic she was towards the subject, honestly. And I can't speak to the new book, I haven't read it, but the PR push for it has centered around praise of AB as an individual, as to her character.

For Weir, I mean, she received the deal to do that fictionalized serial on the six Queens of Henry VIII, of course AB had to be included. If I'm being perfectly honest, I feel like everything she has done since Lady in the Tower has had this weird self-animus pushing behind it, guilt over having further popularized a figure she hates so implacably. Her original view ("a total bitch...she alienated so many people that that must be true") has been evident in all her subsequent works and interviews; from claiming in one in 2017 that there exists a letter extant in AB's own handwriting where she orders Lady Shelton to beat her stepdaughter (there isn't), to depicting AB in her latest novel as having been so ugly and "painfully thin" naked that it was an instant boner-killer for her poorest little meow-meow.

*I believe other sections of this book are dedicated to the Careys so hopefully she expands later...I can't remember if she does. So far in my current read she has not mentioned the wardship and it was in 1528 and the book is now in 1533, so....

#anon

[kayrockerqog]

imma compress all my td2023 season two thoughts into one post, so spoilers below particularly for the final four/five episodes

Okay so, I can't be the only one who's super tired of Caleb by the end of the season, right? Like, no, I don't dislike him as a character necessarily, hell, we didn't have much to go off of for a GOOD while, and I'm certainly glad they actually gave him some substance. But like...really? Putting him in the FINALE? Extending his arc so long that it keeps PRIYA in until the final FOUR?? It just makes them both feel like they overstayed their welcome, especially when people like Damien, Zee and Raj got shafted in favour of their plotline, which was ultimately super exhausting compared to others. It also just felt a little...off, especially for Caleb's teammates in the finale basically being "Team Not Julia," that just felt...so sad. And not in a way that was really earned since he was super wishy-washy for the latter half of the game, especially after Damien was eliminated. Like girl how can you go from having nothing to having too much?? What is this, rags to riches? And just to get all of the kinda low points of the season IMO:

Damien was just straight up robbed, and his elimination left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth?? Like there ain't no way DAMIEN would be dumb enough and/or not paranoid enough to NOT take the idol with him to elimination, like, ON HIS PERSON. I don't care that it was hidden at the campfire, there is no way anyone with his personality, especially after saying he moves the damn thing like four times a day, would NOT KEEP IT ON HIM DURING THE CEREMONY!! That's just an unnecessary risk and it got him taken out. Also, Priya voting him out made DOUBLE no sense, like I get Wayne and Raj being sentimental and all but why would Priya vote him over someone else?? I'm still not over Zee's elimination either. Like, yeah, I get why, he spilled a bunch of tea about everybody, but did they just FORGET THE FIRST AND ARGUABLY MOST IMPORTANT BIT OF TEA??? THAT CALEB WAS FUCKING WITH PRIYA'S HEAD??? Why did they spare him of that? Caleb should've gotten more fucking consequences for not updating Zee on the development, especially when you made him PROMISE NOT TO SAY ANYTHING!!! However, there's a lot of good stuff too that I absolutely adored about the later episodes:

MK and Julia's farewell felt really fitting, even if I felt MK should've stayed over her, plus the hug??? the mutual respect??? Chef's commentary???? real. Raj and Wayne continue to be completely endearing, both with Raj's elimination and Wayne's obvious love and care for him even when he's not there. I mean FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, his worst fear at the time was having to compete AGAINST Raj instead of with him!!! How precious is that?? Plus the HUG????? RAJ'S FAREWELL?????? EVERYTHING ABOUT IT HAS ME SO GIDDY MAN!! "Bowie, get your dancing shoes!" me, being buried in a pile of the hearts swirling around my head and also just, Bowie in the finale being an icon, as usual, even if he isn't competing. His friendship with Wayne as a result of his relationship with Raj and how he's adapted to their ways of thinking is SO!!!!! GAH!!!!!! HE LEARNED THE HOCKEY TALK!!!!! IM WEAK!!!!!! And everyone on Wayne's team being so genuinely happy to support him, especially those I genuinely would not have expected to be there (Axel, Ripper, Chase) but when I think about it, it makes PERFECT sense, and I'm just,,, AGH!!!!! And while the final three and winner may not have been my first choices, I am ultimately pleased with the ending. Wayne winning makes up for the exhaustion of other plotlines in the season, and really, he played fair and square and won. Much as I wanted Julia to win, I'm glad he did.

now that ive actually seen all the episodes I'm gonna be,,, insane and reblog so much td stuff because obviously, so,, AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS FEEL FREE!!! I WOULD LOVE TO TALK MORE IN DEPTH ABOUT MY THOUGHTS OF THE SEASON!!

#total drama #total drama 2023 #td 2023 #td 2023 spoilers #td raj #td wayne #td caleb #td julia #td damien #td mk #td zee #total drama stays winning #total drama 2023 spoilers

[gothicprep]

there was some post going around on here by someone from the uk (of course) about class, and how that distinction can be fuzzy because it also refers to nobility titles, and someone doesn't necessarily need to be rich to hold one. and like, with all due respect, i think they have it backwards.

class is definitely something that transcends bank balance, but this isn't a point that people are good at articulating. when people complain about out of touch elites, they sort of orbit this point but never get close enough to really stick the knife in. but there's a cultural element to it as well, that shows itself subtly through things like mannerisms, language, attitudes about health and money, amongst other things. i think the best attempt i've seen to analyze this was in "dream hoarders" by richard reeves, but even then, i couldn't help but feel he was leaving a few things unaddressed.

we've all heard countless stories of people who grew up in poverty, won a lottery jackpot, and ended up worse off after blowing the money on insanely dumb things. this is a huge contributing factor as to why that's so common.

this is going to sound like a dumb example, but baby names are a huge one for this. there are obviously some carve-outs here (namely, mormons. mormons name their kids weird shit across the board.) but broadly speaking, julia and oliver probably are signed up for piano lessons, and branley and mklaynie probably have a pit bull chained in the back of the yard and holy shit when was the last time your parents fed that guy.

another one: souping up your car with useless aesthetic upgrades is when you have disposable income, but not "class".

or how prestigious universities spend as much time educating you in how to navigate upper class spaces as they do teaching your actual major subject.

it's hard to really talk about this because it comes up in weird ways, and it's one of those things that you know without knowing how. money helps in terms of access, but it's no promise.

#hasan piker really sticks out to me as an example of someone with a ton of money but no class #wearing gaudy ass jewelry on your private jet to burning man is just a very elevated way of being trashy

[hughjidiot]

Thoughts on Season 2, Episode 1 of the Total Drama Island Reboot

So I still haven't seen season one of the reboot in full, only bits and pieces. (IDK what the hell is going on with the US release schedule.) But I've seen enough to get a feel for the plot and characters, and it seems really good. Now the second episode of season two has been leaked and I was able to watch it in full, so here are my thoughts. Spoilers below the cut, obviously.

So Priya is mentioned multiple times as being the season one winner, and to my knowledge Bowie's ending hasn't aired anywhere. Some are wondering if Bowie will even get an ending, but I think he will - alternate winners have been a thing in Total Drama since the beginning, and the finale of the season one was shot in a way that the winner can be interchangeable. So I'm pretty sure Bowie will get an ending where he canonically wins.

Not sure how long Priya, Milie and Bowie will stick around to be honest, since they already got a lot of screentime in season one. Pretty sure Bowie will stick around for a little bit to give us some Rajbow, but I'm not sure about Priya and Millie.

Speaking of Millie, she continues to be her socially awkward self. It's also a nice change of pace to see her genuinely trying at the challenge, even if she still isn't very good.

Caleb is an interesting one. He's obviously still bitter about being voted off first last time, and now he's determined to prove himself. Some have been predicting that he could evolve into a full on antagonist like Justin did in TDA, but I think it's still too early to tell one way or the other. If they go the antagonist route I at least hope he's better than Justin was, who was basically just Alejandro's buggy prototype.

Chase and Emma broke up offscreen, which I'm honestly glad for. I hope this doesn't lead to another "will they/won't they" that lasts for much of the season. In fact if I'm being honest I kind of hope Chase is an early boot and Emma finally moves on to someone who can actually treat her right. That'd be some good development on Emma's part.

Ripper... I'll be honest, he's one of my least favorite contestants of the new generation. He does fit his role of an obnoxious jerk, I'll give him that. But if I'm being honest I hope he's also an early boot because there are other characters far more deserving of screentime; particularly those that got eliminated instead of Ripper back in season one. Which leads me to...

Axel is one of the contestants I'm most excited to see in season two. She's the newest in the "abrasive tomboy" archetype after Eva and Jo. Eva never got any major character development and Jo always stayed a jerk with the occasional moment of kindness, so I was hoping Axel would be the one to break the trend and get some real character development. What we've seen so far with her saying she's trying to be nicer has me cautiously optimistic.

Speaking of character development, how about Nichelle? I and many others expected her to get training and become a stronger contestant, but I wasn't expecting to see evidence of that right off the bat in the first episode! She's another contestant I'll be watching closely.

Damien didn't do a whole lot, which kind of surprised me. Damien was at the top of my list for being a major character in season two, after he lost in season one right as he vowed to start taking the game seriously. But that can still happen; it's only episode one after all, and you can't frontload the first episode with every single plotline right away.

Seeing Julia and MK being on good terms and showing mutual respect was something I didn't see coming after how things went down between them in season one. But you know what, I'm here for an MK/Julia alliance arc. Also MK is my favorite character of the new generation and I look forward to seeing her schemes, especially after she talked about getting her hands on an intern uniform.

Wayne and Raj are wildcards to me, I honestly have no idea how long they'll last or what their specific plots will be. But like I said earlier with Bowie, I think at least he and Raj will stick around for at least a little while for Rajbow. It's genuinely one of the best written couples the show has given us.

Zee I don't picture getting very far. As much as I like Zee he already made it fairly far in season one, and not sure how much material they can get out of his whole "influencer" arc.

Last but not least, Lauren AKA Scary Girl. As a fan of her it hurt to see her voted off first, but I understand; there's other characters that are far more deserving of screentime, and Lauren is pretty one note. That being said, it's obvious we haven't seen the last of Lauren. I'm guessing she'll pull an Ezekiel and keep sneaking back onto to the show to disrupt things.

And that's everything. So far I'm really enjoying this new season and I'll be following it closely.

#hugh jidiot rambles #total drama island #tdi #total drama spoilers #total drama 2023 #td priya #td millie #td bowie #td julia #td mk #td wayne #td raj #td emma #td chase #td ripper #td zee #td axel #td nichelle #td scary girl #td damien #td caleb

[bootswiththefir]

firewatch is such a beautiful story, and I think it's sad that it goes unappreciated by so many. but also funny. hilarious, actually. because all of the most common criticisms of its narrative present such a fundamental misunderstanding of what it is, that they feel like an extension of the game's story.

the game is, in my reading, primarily about escapism. the pov character, henry, has been losing touch with his wife, who has early onset dementia, and understandably wants to just run away to the woods for a few months. the other major characters show different extremes of escapism: the healthy delilah has done firewatch each summer for years, and keeps it clearly divided from her normal life, but when reality came crashing down on the unhealthy ned goodwin, he rejected it, and chose to disappear into the wild for years.

in the wild, henry seeks an entirely new life. that's why he's so adverse to talking about his wife, and starts getting flirtatious with delilah. and for a time, he is given that new life. it's exciting! an adventure! most clearly through what seems to be a government conspiracy slowly piecing together.

but the most interesting part of the game is how it subverts this. towards the climax, mysteries begin resolving themselves; the intrigue of Secret Government Stuff proves too good to be true. much like ned, henry is forced to face reality. even if he tries to cling to his new life, and connect with delilah in the broader world, she rejects him. she urges him to instead return to julia. it isn't clear exactly what choice henry makes, but he inevitably returns to his normal life (a nice touch I like is the visual resemblance of the credits sequence to the introductory exposition of henry's relationship).

the game's ending so clearly, so intentionally does not satisfy what it was setting up, and common critiques of the game refuse to recognise the beauty in that. this subversion demands that any reading be reconsidered to accommodate the ending, but far more often it isn't respected: subversion is not seen as a story being recontextualised, it is a failure to fulfil the reader's expectations.

much discussion around the game is rooted in wanting more. maybe if I take the right pictures I can prove the conspiracy. maybe if I'm quick enough in the ending I can speak to delilah in person. by refusing to consider what the ending is, and instead focusing on what it could be, a lot of players fall into henry's exact mental trap. they look for more at the firewatch - cling to the new life - but unlike henry, they refuse the call of reality. they hide away in the woods, searching for the secret delilah sex ending. they resemble ned far more than henry.

like an ambiguous ending, a subversion forces the reader to engage with the text. what firewatch unfortunately proved is that a lot of gamers aren't ready for that.

#firewatch

[lastlymatt]

You make very good points comparing book and tv Alex, thanks for replying to my ask! I clearly have not reread the books in a while so I should go do that :)

And you are very right about tv!Alex being naive. Yes, I felt he was more mature than book!Alex in the way he presents himself generally, and maybe this is partly due to his appearance on screen vs what I used to envision of book!Alex. But you are right that a lot of his actions and decisions are very naive.

Going to scorpia knowing it's a literal terrorist organization and not only not wanting to kill anyone but not even trying to pretend he's into it so that he could go in undercover? He's lucky Yassen had his back or he'd be so dead.

There were many moments in the show where I did go, 'Alex, come on,' when he was doing something stupid. But maybe I have rose tinted glasses on or expect little, because I love the show enough that I'm like, 'okay they have low budget, I get that they can't film everything, I can look past this plot point/plot armor/lazy writing because I know they don't have the time/budget for everything.' But hey, again, maybe I should have higher expectations anyway haha.

Like having Tom and Kyra somehow so easily show up on Malagosto and do surveillance without getting caught. The department leaving the flash drive in the computer for no reason. Alex getting into Mrs. Jones' apartment so easily, and conveniently having no earpiece so that Yassen couldn't hear what happened?

I spotted all of that and the rest, but let it go. I think I am just so glad we have this show that I'll take what we get 😅

It makes complete sense to assume that TV!Alex is more mature than book!Alex! TV!Alex isn't as sassy as his book counterpart and mostly comes across as calmer and more mature. This might also have something to do with the fact that we don't get to hear Alex's thoughts like we do in the books.

Yes, he is incredibly lucky Yassen had his back; otherwise, I'm not sure what TV!Nile would've done to him (Nile is another character who is very different from his book counterpart, but someone else I believe already talked about that)

Believe me, I utterly adore this show! It made so many improvements on the original material, which is also why I think it's important to point out the parts where it stumbled. Those are also often the bits that generate interesting discussions. But also, those faults can be explained very often with a little suspension of disbelief.

And yeah, I can absolutely see those things as faults, but it's also not very fun when Scorpia has all the cards and knows how to block their plans perfectly. Scorpia needs weaknesses that can be exploited! An all-powerful organisation that makes no mistakes is honestly boring and no fun.

Some of these things make sense if you consider that Scorpia, specifically Julia, feels complacent and overconfident. They managed to make the world believe that they were dead and gone while they continued to work in the shadows. Why would they worry so much about guarding one of their hard-to-reach training facilities against two untrained teenagers?

Also, it's nice to show off that Alex isn't the only one with skills since the TV series so heavily emphasises the importance of friends, family, and teamwork.

I fully agree with you about the flash drive issue. They tried to excuse it later but come on, you should be more paranoid than that!

Alex getting into Mrs Jones' apartment so easily is almost exactly like it went in the book (as far as I remember), so that is on Ahorz. And Alex can have a little competence as a treat before his breakdown 🙃

I honestly hadn't considered the idea of Yassen giving him an earpiece! I think it would've been caught by the metal detector, maybe? But this can also be chalked up to Yassen trusting his boy.

So yeah, it may have its issues, but I also genuinely believe it is one of the better adaptations I've seen in a very long time despite the many changes, and I couldn't be happier with what we got!

#alex rider #ask

[ulircursed]

♡ ok but I'm actually genuinely curious as to what Andrei himself would think of how his situation would change in this situation KSHDKDB

from this picrew!

a new child in jugdral-verse? yup, but hold tight, this au is my wildest one yet. there's another child too, but i'll talk about the other kid when it comes up

cw for rape

unlike the other jugdral asks where i just went crazy on my own, a few sensitive details were discussed a little with erica bc of the topic at hand. so deirdre and andrei have a precanon thread currently going on, where the two of them meet and have a meal and it's their first time hanging out just the two of them. in it, deirdre thanks andrei for, and i quote, 'dealing with one of the men who killed [her] father'. that's ring! andrei freaks out internally, of course, though he is able to salvage the situation to an extent

now, what if that meeting went well enough (in deirdre's mind) that they had more meetings? andrei is on one hand extremely uncomfortable with her, but on the other hand, this is exactly what he wants!! think about what it does for yngvi's reputation if the duke has a direct and personal friendship with the princess and future queen of grannvale!!! this is excellent and great and he cannot possibly refuse this. so he agrees to every single meeting, and talks to her, and they form some sort of friendship thing. at this point andrei's mental health is a mere thread away from utterly insane by the way. surely this will end well, right?

(oh yeah, at this point, andrei does already marry antares and have scipio. scipio is not involved in this mess and is the exact same as he is in canon)

it all comes to a head at one meeting, where deirdre confesses to him that she is ready to have children with lord arvis. she thinks she's ready, finally, thanks to the support and friendship of those around her, including andrei! she mentions something about ring again, and andrei snaps. i've mentioned it before, but andrei resents arvis for (as far as he knows) heading the conspiracy plot, because without it none of this would've had to happen. and so, upon hearing that arvis is about to get what he wants with the woman he loves, andrei forces himself upon deirdre

he comes to his senses after the deed is done, and apologizes profusely, begging her for his life essentially. he says that he will die if word of this ever gets out, and deirdre agrees to keep it a secret. and she does! until. she gets pregnant. i won't go into detail about when/whether she and arvis would've consummated their marriage at this point, but as erica points out, deirdre is not good at hiding her emotions and will eventually tell arvis about it as soon as he asks, so even if being pregnant was potentially expected, the secret would've gotten out at some point during the pregnancy

for his crimes, andrei is publicly executed and yngvi falls into disgrace. antares, already not a noble (this is purely my hc but andrei married a non-noble claiming to have minor ullr blood to have scipio), gets kicked out of yngvi along with scipio, and they go live their non-noble lives somewhere else

anyway, deirdre is pregnant! with twins! manfroy is kinda frustrated, bc he wanted her to have kids with arvis, dammit. but she's of course gonna keep the babies, so they are born. julia is still julia, just with major naga and minor ullr instead of fjalar blood. but her older brother, get this—

name: julio

gender: male (he/him)

class: prince > master knight minus bows and sword

minor ullr, minor loptous

tiptoes around his 'father', whom he's aware isn't really his father. has developed some chronic people-pleaser tendencies because on some level, he feels like his and his sister's existence broke something in this household and that he's not meant to exist. good at charming the staff! very polite for a noble scion

protective of his sister, mostly because of the above reason. the twins grow up really close! julia is the only one that julio feels he can show his true feelings around

they stay in the velthomer household as part of the family upon deirdre's insistence, which isn't terrible because they get a loving mother growing up, but also isn't great because they have to interact with arvis. arvis isn't abusive or anything, but everything about these kids brings back his trauma re: victor so his mental health is just not great in general. they try to avoid each other wherever possible

he's set up to become the duke of yngvi, or whatever that territory is gonna be called if that whole house ends up being dissolved. he works really hard in his youth, but doesn't pick up the bow because he can sense that his 'father' is really really not ok with that. forgoes the sword too, while he's at it, because his 'father' doesn't seem too pleased with that either. he knows how to fence and stuff, but not horseback sword usage. he learns magic though, magic is a-ok in this household

deirdre isn't blamed for this incident, because andrei was the one who initiated the whole thing, and the twins are... yeah, they're bastards, but they're the blood of the legitimate royal family, so it's not like they can be killed or anything. anyway, at this point, sigurd gets to belhalla and arvis cooks him twice as hard as in canon because at this point he's pissed off at anyone who's ever had kids with deirdre, but it's not like anyone can tell because no one knows how hard he cooked sigurd in canon so they just think wow his meteor spell is that strong

manfroy urges them to try again, and tbh azmur wants fully legitimate grandkids too, so according to erica, they do! because deirdre loves arvis and everything. but you know, holy blood weirdness and all that, their kid (let's call him julius) is born with fjalar blood and naga blood but not loptous blood. manfroy, extremely frustrated now, tells them to try AGAIN, and this time, uh, deirdre dies in childbirth and the child doesn't survive. listen, this is kid #5 ok i don't think health care was that good at that time. as an extra screw u to manfroy, maybe this kid would've had major loptous had they survived. but they didn't

manfroy's plans fail! julio becomes the new duke of yngvi and arvis just tries to avoid looking at him. julia is married off to one of the neighboring countries (i had to google what happened to illegitimate children of nobility/royalty and the answers were... this basically). julius becomes duke of velthomer and the heir to the throne. seliph can come in and fix some things about this, but loptous isn't one of his problems for once. everyone is either happy or dead! if julio ends up fighting febail, he will die to febail and his cousin will become the new duke of yngvi, but he doesn't have special dialogue with any of them because who tf are these people. the end.

bonus: thank u to erica for suggesting this route btw

#the number of things i had to research to make this au kldfjalkf #over the course of the past four jugdral asks i feel like i revisited the entire gen i storyline #i also looked up illegitimate children of royalty but i had to tweak this bc most of the examples talked about guys having kids #fankids #nagaficat #➵ letting go (meme answers)

[thekatebridgerton]

In one of your older posts you described Eloise and phillip as a single dad x magic pixie dream girl.

I was wondering if you could expand on this concept?

I've always wondered what happened after end of the book.

Honestly I need to read the Bridgerton Epilogues too.

I don't remeber when I said this about Phillip and Eloise being an example of the single dad x manic pixie dream girl trope. But it does sound like me. Mostly because to me Julia Quinn averted falling into the trap of making Eloise relationship with Phillip entirely two dimensional.

So we all know about the MPDG she's the female version of the hallmark hero. She's fun, quirky, outside the mold and seems to have landed on our hero's doorstep to cure his depression and make him feel like life can be fun again (then Julia said 'hey, what if the manic pixie dream girl had trauma after seeing her dad die and also had a family of wacky, equally traumatized siblings). Then we have the single dad, he's often overworked, depressed and his dubious approach to parenting has turned his kids into unruly brats.

Wait a minute, what do you mean that the resident MPDG has trauma? And a life of her own? so here's where it gets fun. Because as the story progresses we learn that not only was Eloise not placed in the story to solve Phillip's problems, she is quite frankly going trough a existential crisis of her own, and he and his kids are invertedly helping her trough it. Because we come to learn that Eloise is a lot more than this talkative extrovert who likes to give orders. She is deeply concerned about life passing her by and everyone moving on with their lives except her and she just really wants to find out if falling inlove IS actually something she's been missing out all along.

And it turns out that our depressed single dad really never had anyone to teach him how to be a good person, other than his brother who died. But he's been muddling trough and all this time the depression was because he simply has been beating himself up most of his life, for not being good enough or 'man enough' to fix everything that's wrong in his life without help.

And this is where we reach the deconstruction of the trope, because at the end of the story, Phillip comes to terms with the fact that Eloise isn't this perfect idealized woman of his dreams, I mean she's certainly brilliant and wonderful but not perfect. And that's okay, he never wanted perfect, he just wanted someone who would smile and maybe love him. He never expected Eloise to change his life but she did and he doesn't know how to go back to living without that.

And then we see Eloise, who never thought anyone would need her or appreciate her for all the things everyone told her were flaws, like being loud, bossy and energetic. And tho Phillip is not perfect, he does try his best to be better every day and appreciate who she is as a person, not because of how she's good at fixing his life, but because she's herself, a kind, friendly no nonsense woman with a heart of gold who can and will stand up for herself even against someone she loves. He's not her perfect one dimensional hallmark hero, he has a life of his own, and hopes, dreams and fears, outside of just pleasing her and being her husband. But he would do anything to make her happy and that's all she needs to build a good marriage.

It's very much real, in TSPWL how sometimes we idealize the people we are writing to, when we have never met them in person and build them up to be these perfect paragons of virtue and then we meet them in person and it turns out the manic pixie dream girl has trauma and the hallmark one dimensional hero, is actually just a guy trying to figure out his life.

Maybe that's another thing i love so much about this couple.

#philoise #phillip crane #eloise bridgerton

[gabessquishytum]

So hob goes with a friend to an outing at a local strip club where he meets Dream.

Dream took Hob's intro to English history class for a pre-rec, but other than that they don't talk. And Hob asks why he's working here sense his parents have their own summer home in Italy. And Dream shrugs and says it's easy money.

So Hob puts two and two together and fifures out Dream was probably disowned for one reason or another and dances as a way to pay the bills.

He knows he's crossing so many boundaries when he starts going to the club just to see Dream and give him a huge tip and the like. But why can't he fantasize about dating a younger man? It's not like he's doing these things outside of Dream's job, and they've never done more than sit down for drinks and shoot the breeze.

And Dream knows Hob's doing it because he's a good man, but hes aloud to fantasize too, hes aloud to think of himself as Julia Roberts and have a rich man fall in love with him and give him everything he's wanted.

And one night there's a patron who keeps giving Dream trouble, so Hob offers to walk Dream home. Dream agrees and when they get to Dream's apartment, Dream can't help himself, and Hob isn't a big enough man to turn him down. So they end up in bed together.

And both of them say in the morning it's a one time thing. But soon it becomes a habit and Hob keeps offering to walk Dream home, and Dream keeps inviting Hob inside.

Hob starts feeling dirty, like he's taking advantage of Dream's profession to sleep with one of his (sort of but not really) students, and Dream keeps feeling like he's cosplaying some fantasy that he's forcing Hob to play along in. But neither of them hate it enough to stop.

Finally, Dream comes home after class to see Hob in his living room (he has a key, that's how bad it got) and he has a document from the school Dream can sign. Basically it says that the school recognizes Dream and Hob's relationship, and that Dream will not be in any of Hob's classes in the future, and Hob will not speak to any of Dream's teachers about Dream's academic career. Before Hob can even give Dream the Talk about what this would mean, Dream signs it and then asks is this means they can keep having sex.

I can't decide if Dream would be a terrible or wonderful stripper. Let's go with wonderful, though. Because if nothing else, he has a flair for the dramatic.

It takes exactly one night for him to have Hob wrapped around his little finger. And Dream is pretty far gone, too. The sex (when Hob finally gives in) is the best Dream has ever had. He's always thought about older men in an abstract, horny way. But he's never actually had the real thing. Hob is considerate, but he's also extremely confident (with good reason). Dream makes his mind up after the first orgasm: he won't be letting this man go.

Hob’s friends know that he has a younger lover, although they don't know who it is. They eagerly ask him questions and praise him for his obvious prowess in being able to hold onto a youngster, and Hob feels soooo filthy as he listens to them speculate about what it must be like. He really is one of the dirty old men he's always despised.

But making things official helps, in a way. He no longer feels like he's using Dream for kind of sick game. They can actually be partners. And Dream doesn't have to give up the best dick he's ever had. With in ten minutes of signing the document hes riding Hob hard on the living room floor. His boss will give him shit for having hickies again but Dream doesn't care - mentally he's in a universe where only he and Hob exist, and he's going to stay there for as long as he can.

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw age gap

[beevean]

I was about to pass out when I wrote that last ask (cause I was sleepy) so I couldn't even complete what I was writing.

The fact he felts guilt over her death even years later proves to he did feel bad about it on a moral level rather just avoiding consequences for his actions, plus I think the fact that it bothers him that he doesn't feel bad about the bad stuff he does shows he doesn't like being a bad person even if he can't change it.

About the Ashley point, I was gonna add that part of his attitude towards Ashley after the death of Nina is the fact that the reason she did that was because she was jealous and wanted Andree for herself, which from his perspective feels incredible stupid because he's always been there for her and he's always taking care of her, even when he repeats it over and over, it isn't enough for her, it's never enough for her, which is probably when he actually started thinking all those horrible stuff about her and being actually mean to her, if Andy isn't enough for her no matter what, then why bother acting like him?

To add on, I think it's implied that him acting violent started during his breaking point towards the end of Episode 1 when he snaps and starts trying to choke her, it's his first act of actual rebellion and what starts to change their relationship, it's implied that he was docile and doormat before up to that point...so 15 years, that's a lot of restraint.

About him being an uncaring person, I feel that he can care about other people if they're close to him, like he does with Ashley and he still cares about Julia, it should also be noted that the people he ends up killing so far are complete strangers to him or people he dislikes (or tried to kill him) as shown with those wardens, that gamer girl, the hitman and his parents, considering he does felt guilt about Nina and goes to kill himself after he kills Ashley in the Decay route (although that's it's own can of worms) shows that killing people he does care about does mess him somewhat.

I be honest, IDK what was I going with this (drinking medicine after so long really messed me up) but the point is I don't think Andy is as messed up or cruel as some go so far as to saying, obviously he's far, far from a saint as you can get but I don't think he's as evil as Ashley or his mom

I figured it wasn't complete :P

No, Andrew isn't cruel. I don't think anyone can argue in good faith that he's cruel. He draws no enjoyment from the crimes he commits - the only time he expresses something resembling it is when he thinks back to the warden who was "leering on Ashley" and he regrets not killing him slower. But that's just simple brotherly protectiveness or is it

it isn't enough for her, it's never enough for her, which is probably when he actually started thinking all those horrible stuff about her and being actually mean to her, if Andy isn't enough for her no matter what, then why bother acting like him?

Aside from this being painfully relatable lol, I love how this is one of the two ways that lead to the Decay route. I've seen most people talk about entering it through Andrew accepting his mother's olive branch, which symbolizes his desire to be "normal" and blaming Ashley for everything bad he did. But Ashley not trusting Andrew with their parents also has merits - the big argument in Ch1 that ended with Andrew choking her started precisely because Ashley didn't trust Andrew, she seriously believed he wanted to fuck the lady, that he wasn't faithful to her. Ashley has severe abandonment issues and a complete lack of a sense of self-worth, which is what pushes her to force Andrew to be "stuck" with her - because no one would actually love her, if they had the choice!

Obviously Andrew, as anyone would, grows tired of this shit, the lack of trust and respect after everything he has done for her, hence the route where they grow apart :D

Again, I've gone on a tangent. I really want to talk about them <3

he still cares about Julia

That's the other thing people are split about. Did he care? And how much? When Julia says that Ashley should learn some independence (which is code for "dude she's too invested in our relationship and it's creepy), Andrew dodges the issue, justifies Ashley and talks positively about her. He asked her to tie up her hair which is very obvious why. When Julia broke up with him, Andrew could only offer a "I'm sorry, I guess? But why should I be blamed?" (although he does call out Ashley for interfering in his romantic life). Then there is the matter of the voicemails that he hears in his dream: were those made up by his subconscious? (and considering how most of them are Ashley slutshaming Julia and bragging about Andrew needing her, bro) Or did Andrew, somehow, hear them... and did nothing?

I really want to dissect Andrew under a microscope lol. He's not a poor innocent victim nor he is an abuser in the same way as Ashley... but he's such an unreliable narrator that I think most of his psyche is still shrouded in mystery.

#the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves #sorry i can't give a concrete answer #it's just. there's a lot to consider

[mermaidsirennikita]

no you're apsolutley right how to lose a guy in 10 days and the runaway bride are both top tier romcoms

Thank you thank you, one thing I do think also makes those movies special is that the characters are... genuinely flawed? Like, Set It Up, a movie I don't understand the popularity of... makes Zoey Deutsch (who I generally like as an actress, Not Okay is SUCH a dark and interesting movie) play the classic flat "she's too consumed by work and ambition to pay attention her personal life/and she's so Quirky" girl, whereas Glen Powell is this boring like... dudebro. Neither one feels flawed in a believable and interesting way.

In How to Lose a Guy, Kate Hudson is the business work girl, whatever, but she also plays UNHINGED so well, even when her character is actually faking it? She's honestly hilarious and doesn't get enough credit for her comedic skills (might I add: she does benefit from coming from romcom pairing royalty with her mother and adoptive father, so). Matthew McConaidhdwpo, an actor I find very hit or miss, is so... sleazy? In that movie? Like a SLEAZE in a way I don't think we allow romcom heroes to be in movies at the moment. In Set It Up, Glen really isn't a sleaze, he's a dorkass who has this intimidatingly hot girlfriend he obsesses over (and by the way--don't love the implication that like... the hot girl is Too Much For Him, whereas Cute Girl Zoey is Just Right, like lmao WOOOOW it's what every girl wants, to be the cute one he gets with after failing to lock down the hot girl).

In Runaway Bride, Julia Roberts plays honestly? A problematic~ heroine in a way few women get to play in romcoms at the moment--and Julia was so good at that, I mean she plays one of the most insane female leads in relatively recent history in My Best Friend's Wedding, and a very flawed and at times hurtful heroine in Notting Hill. But yeah, this girl has broken multiple hearts, she cheats on her fiance with Richard Gere AT HER ENGAGEMENT LUAU!!!! THEY'RE WEARING LEIS!!!!

And Richard Gere is like, kind of a genuine chauvinist at the beginning of that film lmao. Just full stop. And also is absolutely pursuing Julia while making small talk with her fiance. It's GREAT, and this dynamic is also incredibly different from Pretty Woman (an ideal romcom, a true fantasy, Pretty Woman is one of the few movies that plays like a romance novel for real).

BUT YEAH. I think the issue with recent romcoms isn't that they're romcoms, it's that they're boring. Unchallenging. One of the most recent successful romcoms, Crazy Rich Asians, has two very likable and kind leads who love each other, but? There are incredibly high stakes with the presence of Eleanor. You need that kind of edge.