#and i dont recover for a few days

[northernember]

rewatching the second how to train your dragon movie and “you’re as beautiful as the day i lost you” tibe and cori tibe and cori tibe and cori-

i absolutely support all elara and coriane supporters, being a part of them of course

but tibe and cori have me feeling some type of way i dont know how to articulate

its about watching the person you love slowly shift and change into someone worse and unrecognizable and being unable to do anything to stop it but still,, still there’s glimpse’s of who they used to be and so you love them regardless for better and worse, even as it marks your downfall

its about selfishly and desperately grasping and holding onto the person you love even knowing the danger it puts them in, even feeling as they unravel in your arms, their thread and seams coming lose and knowing not how to stitch them back together but still you hold so tightly, choosing blissful ignorance instead of facing the reality youve wrought with your selfish wants

its about the tragedy and gloom, about finding her dead in the bathtub, her wrists slit by her own hands and knowing you died with her even as your body continues to move upon the earths surface

its about laying all your grief and sorrow onto your sons shoulders who bears your eyes and hair and body but grows into her heart and ideals

did tibe collapse in on himself when he realized cal inherited cori’s love for tinkering, her gentle and kind nature? did he try desperately to wring it out of him for fear that he would meet the same end she did?

you found the person you loved dead, having taken her own life and you allowed her memory to be erased from the walls of the place you both called home and why? because you could not face the truth, because you, who you truly were beneath your surface, lies buried in her tomb? because it was easier than facing what you had done, what you allowed to happen with your selfishness? There is so much blood upon your hands but the one that brought you to your knees, the one that unraveled you whole was not your son’s, not the red girl with lightening you sneered at, not all those who died before and after but Her’s. Coriane’s blood stains your hands deeper than anyone elses and it undid you, reduced you to a husk pretending to still be alive.

And was it worth it, Tibe?

#red queen #glass sword #kings cage #war storm #queen song #red queen series #tibe #coriane jacos #i honestly don’t remember queen song that well #i should reread it #so this may be off but im in my feelings rn #and so canon is what makes me wail and cry on my floor #they just #idk man im normally normal about them but sometimes #sometimes they ruin me #and i dont recover for a few days #that scene in the 2nd httyd movie always sparks my descent onto the tibe and cori madeness without fail though #thrashing around in my blankets and pillows #desperately wanted to know what would have happened at coriane lived #what would norta look like #would tibe still be exactly as he was in the book? #cal definitely would not have been the same i think and i so desperately want to know who he would have become #tw blood #tw shelf harm #its only mentioned but still #insane and unhinged rambling per usual

[suntails]

reality

#blinks so cutely at u. im baaaack #i only have it in me to do one piece for 7.7 i think. i just dont think the rest grabs my brain id rather draw other stuff :D #ive started a new job (NOT animation) by now so im re-adjusting to job hours vs fun hours but the job is easy breezy so im happy!!! #i work in an office i answer the phone like twice a day and i file some paperwork and i eat candy at my desk. its the best #AND im lined up to take over as supervisor in a few months. smiles lovingly at the camera. the dream <3 #speaking of dreams haha idia my guy umm so how u doing buddy. u doin okay? will u recover from this buddy pal chum guy? :D #he'll be fine im proud of him #twst #twisted wonderland #idia shroud #book 7 spoilers #ch 7 spoilers #suntails

[glitzybunny]

HELP?- I DREW HIM LIKE- TOO HOT??? I- PFFFJFKRKEKFKEKKE LMAO??

#cotl narinder #cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl fanart #wip #my art #glitzybunny #LIKE- #IVE REDRAW THIS STUPID SCENE TO MANY TIMES MAN 💀 #I COME BACK A COUPLE DAYS LATER AND DRAW MANS LIKE THIS? #HOW AM I TO RECOVER? #I DONT EVEN FIND HIM LIKE THAT HOT BUT LIKE LOOK AT THE FUCKER #PFFFFFD #ANYWAYS trying my best with this thing #ill probably work on it tomorrow... or in another few days again lol #I need to tone him down JSKKWXKKD

[jirachibaby]

Artfight 2023 - Team Werewolves attacks!

These were all the revenges I did throughout the month of Artfight! Thank you so much to everyone who attacked me. I'll be calling it there for this Artfight, I hope yall had as much fun as I did!

My Artfight

#artfight 2023 #artfight #artfight attack #team werewolves #af 2023 #digital art #my art #and now i'm gonna be taking the next 3 weeks off to rest and recover #because boy howdy am i d e a d #there are still a few days left of artfight but i dont think i'll have the time to revenge anyone who attacks me #we'll have to see but idk

[mihai-florescu]

No mr teacher i didnt progress on the project ahhh why you ask umm well many things likeee well i was born with something sinister inside me

#also my toes hurt. no i dont know why. perhaps its a curse #like needing days to recover from going outside for a few hours once or twice a week #-_-

[demitsorou]

i'm recovering from the christmas covid(?) i got and i'm so burnt out

i barely draw and just sleep, depression's hitting hard af

#demi-txt #there's still comms i didnt finish from last year #and i need to get back to work to provide for me and mine #but i just dont want to #i feel so exhausted of everything #been feeling suicidal too which didnt happen in a few years #even want to just stop drawing altogether #constantly not on top of anything financially #scrounging pennies to get food #barely getting bills paid and meds covered and necessities #going to sleep hungry some days #none of which helps me recover and recuperate at any decent pace at all #which means i feel guilty for being like this unproductive #which makes me feel bad which burns me out more #just wanna cry

[caffeinatedopossum]

I honestly don't think I was capable of fully understanding how dangerous restricting was until after I had been in recovery for like 8 months already. And I sadly really mean that. I worry about you guys :((

#i dont mean this in a condescending way i mean this in a i literally had brain damage from my ed way #if you dont care if you die or not thats one thing. but believe me when i tell you this: #your ed will not kill you fast. it will take 10+ years of physical and psychological torture. and yes i mean torture thats not exaggeratio #and if you decide in ten years that its not worth and you want to recover thats awesome of course #but theres a high likelihood of irreversible damage at that point #it doesnt take a lot to make your body sick #not nearly as much as i think you guys think #the things you're sacrificing are not under your control. you didnt choose to be sick and you do deserve to be helped #we all make it out one way or another #i just hope you guys make it out sooner than i did #because no one deserves that and i mean it. not even me #the things your ed can do to you arent even talked about. not in media not even in a lot of anorexia forums #not even by the doctors that treat them #after a few years of restricting even if you havent lost weight your body is damaged #your brain is damaged. a lot of the damage is reversible but some of it inevitably wont be #idk i know fear mongering isnt going to help any of you #i just get really mad that there arent better resources and treatments for us out there #i may be just one person but i mean this with all of my heart #i hope you find better days and health and carefree mornings and nights without the shroud of obsessive thoughts #and warmth and love and the mental clarity and strength to keep fighting #you all mean so much to me #and this blog will always be a safe space for people struggling with eds wether they want to recover or not #please take care of yourselves

[castielafflicted]

distinct possibility that things are going to start to get very bad for me in a few days because of medication reasons </3

#zeph posting #my birth control refill got denied bc i hadnt had an appointment in too long but i had no idea about that ahead of time #and i just took my last dose #i scheduled an appointment and the guy says they probably will do another refill since its a few weeks out #but! its not a sure thing #and i wont know until at the latest thursday #and so ! #this is the thing that keeps my mental health stable even moreso than the mood stabalizer #and also makes sure my physical health doesnt get horrifically worse for like 10 days a month #over 10 bc i have to recover too #so ill either be fine! or have to wait until like january 15th before i feel okay again #this is very bad to happen at christmas bc i have to be around people and do things #so i just. god if they dont give me a refill #if u see me say im posting from the ER after christmas its bc i dont have them and got suicidal </3

[bare1ythere]

Wait what do you mean I might not actually be able to do as much as other people. What do you mean the way im currently managing my coursework is going to lead to extreme burnout. what do you mean my disability is actually disabling

#shut up me #i had therapy a few days ago and im kind of shellshocked to be honest #my therapist was firmly but gently like ''You need to stop or you're going to burn out in a way that you wont recover from for a long time' #and I just kept pushing back because im not doing that much Im really not #even if i feel like I am sometimes. im not. and everyone around me is doing more #so that leads to one conclusion. and im having a hard time fully accepting it #I excelled in high school. no issues academically always at the middle-top of my classes #but then again. I didnt do any extra curriculars I wasn't forced into. and I didnt have to feed myself or do my laundry or walk to classes #and the coursework wasn't nearly as self guided #.... #there is no conclusion here I just dont know what to do with myself right now

[arvoze]

the power i will receive in a matter of days will be astounding. watch out

#i am making this post to ramble. idk if it will actually change anything but i am trying 2 be hopeful . #ive been very. Rough all month thus far both physically and mentally and occasionally both at the same time #i am just hoping tht wat i am getting soon will help me do things bc ive rly had no energy to do anything at alllllll #and i rly dont want to like. Explode i would like to get things done #i have things i owe to people!!! i just dont have the spoons to do it Ever and it piles iup and up in my head #it fucking blows dude i have been stuck in a horrendous loop for like almost 6 months #i just want 2 be normal u know . i am hoping something will change soon #if it does not change in the nesxt few days when my shit arrives i think im like. Done For in general #like if im unable to get anything done in the next few days then i am going to very seriously have to reconsider #literally everything i do online i think. its a bit fucked up #ik it sounds like an exaggeration bu there is noooo way in hell i am Surviving like tihs !!!!!!! slash srs #i wish twitter circles did not die so i cold blow up in there bu back to ye olde norm of tumblr tags will have to do #also it feels less invasive so like. win for me ig. i do miss rambling nonstop in tags #i miss tumblr!! i miss a lot of old stuff. reminiscing for reasons both good and bad. the tumblr stuff is the good side tho #anyways i have been slowly chipping away at writing thigns this month and ik its like. not a lot at all. #but its a lot to *me* and when youre someone whos only capable of doing so mch its like. a big deal #(im writing pmdnd stuff finally getting back into gear nd stuff i have been trying to slowly draw the npcs #that ive made whilst trying to recover in other areas bu rghghrghgrgr i dont ewant to draw #i havent wanted to draw in a long long time blows up) #i shuld. stop typing actually i am rambling too much i jsujt have nowhere to mindlessly ramble anymore technicaly #i dont want to bug my friends w me being unwell all the time DFJKGHDFKGFG #mayne i will try to ccontinue with the npcs. we will see based on if i post again in the next 30 minutes

[ra-vio]

shaded doodle

#loz #legend of zelda #botw #breath of the wild #link #i went out a few days ago got super sleepy and i still havent recovered #i think it was the longest i'd been outside in a few years. literally almost passed out in a target #woulda just slept on the floor #its been 8 years since i first drew botw Link. i still dont know how to draw him #i wanna redraw the first picture but then I'd have to draw a horse and i just dont have time for horses

[storm-of-feathers]

👍

#im done spiralling at least for right now #i double dosed on ambien bc tbh i probably need that good sleep #i have a beluga plushie i got from mystic. ive named him steve #i also have a jellyfish plushie i named peanut butter bc i think im hilarious #theyre both here. theyll help me with sleep #im so sorry for the past few days #ive been just. #this breakdown has been coming for a long long time #the summer is cruel. i want it to be fall #i can blame some of this on my period i guess #but deep down im just a broken person who takes things way harder than they should #so when bad things happen i dont always handle them well #july was cruel to me. i buried family and friendships. #im started to want to be buried too. #and that doesnt scare me like it should. #but it doesnt matter. bc ill eventually feel better. bc im supposed to be fully recovered and have dbt skills.

[dandyshucks]

me getting nauseous after i eat breakfast every morning and Guz hovering over me worriedly saying "yeah hun I don't think that's normal..." and I just wave him off because I'm USED TO IT ITS FINE DONT EVEN WORRY ABT IT BIG GUY just give me like an hour or two and I'll be back on my feet again. gives him a shaky thumbs up.

#wish I knew why this happened but i dont so fjfkdl #i think ... perhaps ... I fucked up my metabolism by way of developing an ED a few yrs ago dbdjdkl #idk it feels an awful lot like extended symptoms of a mild(?) form of r.efeeding syndrome though #BUT WHATEVERRRR WE STAY SILLY WE PERSEVERE this is just smth i have to account for in my day now arr eye pee #if i take a shower right after eating then i can recover from the shower fatigue AND the breakfast nausea at the same time SBDJDKL #guz just staring at me horrified as i explain my strategic overlapping of irl negative status effects DBDJSKL #dandy.cmd #ed tw #💜so good at being in trouble #💜a boy and his bug🪲 #vent //

[kingdomoftyto]

Hey everyone how are you doing today because I'm uh. I'm??? I'm.

:^)

Yeah I'm!! really Going Through It, holy fuck

#ignore me #Tyto listens to WtNV #I've passed the point I originally stopped back in the day so this is all new to me #me after episode 100 (an ignorant fool): WOW there sure has been a lot of plot-heavy stuff happening but that was a nice repreive. I bet we #'ll have a few chill episodic fillers before we get back into another huge plot thing :) #Fink and Cranor: lol. lmao even. #I mean FUCK we barely had time to blink before [REDACTED] died!!!! that would have been earth-shattering enough on its own!!!!!! T_T #and then before anyone's had time to recover from that suddenly REALITY IS CRACKING APART AT THE SEAMS in a way that is somehow #JUST AS IF NOT MORE UPSETTING than when the city had to fend off a LITERAL DEMON attempting to drag them all into nothingness!! #it's less direct terror and more overpowering dread in this case but oh my god the DESPERATION in Cecil's pleas at the end of ''Cal''!!! #he's so afraid of the others abandoning the city but he wants THIS reality!! #THIS is the version of his life that has Carlos and Janice and all his other precious memories in it...!!! GUH #I'm losing my everloving mind over the last few episodes if you couldn't tell #and the next one's title. god. GOD. and he opens the announcements by saying 'hey if you're new maybe dont start with this one' which is 8^)

[icewindandboringhorror]

I downloaded an app that I think is meant to be used for like, detailed food tracking or something, but I instead really just wanted something with this format (color coded calendar days) so I could put in one single simple entry a day to kind of rate my day overall (based on physical health symptoms).. which..... looking back over it for the new year since when I first started tracking.. 9 "good" days in about 9 months, so roughly one good day a month LOL...

#A neutral/yellow day is if I felt sick or had any symptoms (nausea. joint pains. headahces. etc.) #to a distracting degree for at least an hour or more at any point in the day - YET it was not so severe or so distracting #that i was completely unable to get anything done. An orange day is if I was so sick or felt so bad #that I completed absolutely nothing that day because my primary focus was basically spending the entire day on whatever #was wrong with me or recovering from that. And a green day is a day that - even if maybe i had a few aches or pains - I was never any #noticable or distracting amount of sick - PLUS - i also got a reasonable amount of things done. #If I don't feel very sick yet I also lack the energy or mental wellness to complete daily tasks then it still counts as a yellow day. #So I guess like.. Yellow is if health was ok but focus was bad OR focus was okay but health was distracting. Green is BOTH focus and #health were mostly okay for a majority of the day with no major setbacks. And Orange is zero focus whatsoever because health is too bad. #There are also 5 categories. the worst is a super dark red and then best is a super bright green but I don't like using them #You have to select a bright red (x_x) emoji face to classify your day as dark red. and I dont like the implication of a 'dead' person face #because of my ocd lmao... it makes me afraid it's some habringer of death (if I select it for that day then somehting terrible will happen #the next day or whatever lol) *** *** *** - so I never use that one. I also feel like the MOST extreme categories should be reserved for #super extreme circumstance like.. I would only do a dark red day if I was literally hospitlaized or something. And same with the bright #green days like.. that would imply I guess that i was both suuuuper productive ANd had basically no symptoms at all all day. like a #Very Very Good day. and I just think that's not even possible. no day ever goes by without me feeling at least a little sick or achey at #SOME point lol... A day with NO headahces or issues or etc would be.... wow... mythical occurence.. #I have definitely gotten worse as I got older but even at like 15 or 16 years old I used to take ibuprophen a ton (I dont anymore of course #for stomach reasons lol) and remember having various minor problems here and there I was bothered by a lot #AAANYWAY.. also I count 44 'bad' days ghb... that's losing like.. at least one entire month of time a year.. maybe this is why I have so mu #much trouble getting things done and finishing my projects. BUT thats the point and why I wanted to track that. to like.. see it all laid #out at the end of the year. Maybe I could even compare years. Even though I started late in 2023. It'd be interesting to have a #yearly record of how many good vs. bad vs. neutral days I had in any given year. #(app is called 'Moodflow' on android phones. in case anyone sees this and asks. though I cant vouch for it or any of the features or anythi #ng since.. again. i literally ONLY use the one single feature of rating calendar days. I look at nothing else on there. And I keep my data #off and phone in airplane mode basically at all times so I never get ads on apps. Sometimes i'll mention liking some puzzle game or somethi #and then someone else is like 'yeah i love it but OMG so many ads' and I'm just like.. yeagh.... not for me lol.. but sorry to you. that #sounds annoying certainly..) ANYWAY.. auuugh... a sea of yellow neutrality. better than a sea of orange though. so :'3c

[ghostzzy]

really excited for uhh march or april of 2024

#there’s sure to be many pockets of joy and inspiration between now and then #but i’m not going to be able to completely relax again until we have moved and settled and i have a new job. #i’m just bummed out ig. like. #top surgery was 100000% the right decision but it’s had me in a state of perpetual anxiety since october #and i relaxed and recovered peacefully for exactly a week and two days #and then . now. with the imminent moving. and the imminent job change. i’m like 😵‍💫. #like ik this is how life goes. it comes in big waves like this for me always always always. #and i knew this was all coming. or at least suspected. i was moderately mentally prepared. #but jfc. recovering & working & moving & changing jobs is going to take everything i’ve got for the next few months. #and i’m. really not excited about it. #in the grand scheme a few months isn’t a big deal. but like. #now that top surgery is done i just want to recover and rest and then start enjoying my life :^( #i dont wanna be anxious and strung out for another 3-4 months :^(( #izzy.txt