#cal definitely would not have been the same i think and i so desperately want to know who he would have become

[dutifullylazybread]

What are your Rolan headcanons?

Apologies for the late response! My brain gave me an Error 404 notification, and I sat there for a moment like... What are my Rolan headcanons?! But then I thought on it, and I definitely have a few! Romantic and NSFW are under the cut!

SFW

Rolan can't actually sleep without some form of light. Prior to Elturel's Descent, there was this glowing orb that hung over their city that they called The Companion. Before they learned the real reason for its existence (which I will not spoil here), it was this entity that shed light over the city 24/7, and that light extended out in a 50 mile radius. So people born in Elturel were used to sleeping with the Companion overhead at all times, whereas visitors would use light-canceling curtains so that they could sleep (inns would offer these). This is my long way of saying that Rolan can't actually sleep if there isn't a light source going in the room. If it's the fireplace, it can die down throughout the night, but it must be going when he falls asleep.

I think that he drinks wine and has a deeper appreciation for it because of the Descent. All food in Avernus tastes terrible--even the rations that you brought with you. In the "Descent Into Avernus" module, the text makes a point to say that wine tastes like spoiled milk in Avernus. So I think that, for Rolan, he savors the taste of wine in particular. Sometimes to the point of excess.

Whatever he overindulged in at the Last Light Inn, he now hates. For no reason whatsoever, I think he went too hard at Plum Fizz, threw it up, and now he can't even stand to look at it. I don't want to say that the same is the case for Arabellan Dry, but there is at least one drink that he overindulged in that now turns his stomach.

He is a very light sleeper. Zariel had a skeleton crew of devils that would skulk the streets of Elturel and torment its inhabitants. If Rolan was a heavy sleeper before, after having the devils pass his family's home with such regularity put him on edge, because they could never guarantee that the devils wouldn't break into their home. Now, even the slightest noise can wake him.

I think that a devil offered him a deal in Avernus. Likely, it would have been the power to protect Cal and Lia. I think he was very close to taking it--even more so if their mother was dead at this point. I think he ultimately did not take it, and I think Lia and Cal yelled at him if they found out he was considering a deal in the first place.

This man 100% tried to brave Avernus' terrain to find a way to keep his siblings safe. The problem with Avernus is that the terrain is ever changing. Per the "Descent into Avernus" module, going to Fort Knucklebone might be ten miles. Going BACK from Fort Knucklebone might be sixty miles instead. I don't know if he gave up and went home of his own accord or if the party of heroes who helps Elturel help him get home. Either way, he views it as a failing on his part.

After their mother was killed, I think Rolan experienced a serious amount of survivor's guilt. This makes it so he is even more protective of Cal and Lia. Nothing else matters but keeping them alive. Hence why he is so deep in his cups when you find him at Last Light--he feels that he broke the promise that he made to their mother. He failed to protect his family. The ONE promise he wanted to keep, no matter what.

He wrote to Lorroakan, desperate for an apprenticeship, because the other Elturel Refugees were also heading to Baldur's Gate. However, refugees from Elturel were being actively blocked from entering the city. I definitely think he believed that Lorroakan was talented if he could lay claim to Ramazith's tower, but I also think that he wanted to make sure that he, Cal, and Lia all had a home when they got there. I think that he was willing to put up with a lot if it meant that his siblings were safe. So, in a sense, this was an apprenticeship of convenience, but I also think he did believe that a wizard who presided over Ramazith's tower would likely be a talented one.

I think that Lorroakan likely took credit for one or two of Rolan's arcane discoveries.

This man is vain. Everything about his appearance says "immaculate." Does he find a smudge on his sleeve? Prestidigitation. Is there a tear along a seam? Mending. Hair out of place? He'll be back in ten minutes--he just needs to get everything in order.

He is always thinking about how he can make a spell into an experience that Cal and Lia can enjoy. Not just prestidigiation, but also minor illusion. I wouldn't put it past him to learn Control Weather so that if they're too hot, he can cool them down. Are they disappointed that the snow disappeared too soon? Well, he has just the answer.

He is overprotective. To a fault.

While he genuinely believes it when he claims to be "the handsome master of Ramazith's Tower," or argues that he is talented, I think he started saying these things so that he could convince himself first. If he was abandoned by his birth parents, that no doubt took a toll on him. So he is very fond of positive self-talk.

Romantic

He might not always know how to verbalize his feelings, but he does demonstrate them in other ways.

Your favorite food? He learns how to make it. And he always has the ingredients on hand.

You mention offhandedly what your favorite drink is? He has at least three tins/bottles of it on hand.

If you want to make him short-circuit, wear socks that don't match.

He'll say he isn't a cuddler. He is a liar. He'll claim that the extra pillows and blankets lying around are there for your comfort, which is true, but he is also the one who is primed and ready to tuck them around you and him and read for hours on end.

Also, he loves spending time with you doing different things in the same room. He doesn't think he gets lonely since he is so used to studying on his own, but when you start sitting next to him or settling into place on a nearby couch while he works, he realizes what was missing.

He is the king of longing stares from across the room.

Will short circuit if you sit on his lap and kiss his neck (can't say more in the SFW section!)

Will cling to you when you sleep in the same bed. You honestly don't need much in the way of blankets because of the heat he puts off.

NSFW

Oh ho ho ho. I have so many and so few at the same time!!

Will bite you if you ask (and will fantasize if you don't), but he loves the idea of marking you as his, so he wants to do nothing but give you lovebites.

Personally, I think he is a switch. He can go from being the best service top in the world to being the one in need of a lot of physical affection and care. He struggles to actually verbalize what he needs, but if you can pick up on his cues, you can very much so tell whether he needs you to take the lead. From there, it's a matter of suggesting something and seeing if he is game.

That being said, he will not hesitate to bend you over a desk or take you against a bookshelf.

I don't think Rolan is a virgin (let's be real, if he has so many fans outside of a D&D setting, he definitely had a few who were attracted to him in Elturel). But he has always been very focused on taking care of his family or his studies, and I don't think he was ready for a serious relationship until after settling into the tower.

That being said, while he isn't a virgin, he also isn't well-versed in different sexy time fun things.

THAT BEING SAID, if you float an idea to him, he's going to consider it. And, so long as he is comfortable, he's down to try it too.

And once you and him start having sex on the regular, he starts to see the real potential that spells can have. Mage hand is an easy one... but what about enlarge person?

Get him worked up enough, and he will absolutely decide to fuck you in every single room of the tower (Cal's and Lia's excluded)

100% uses his tail. I shall say no more.

Your moans will make him short circuit. It takes EVERYTHING for him not to come when you moan.

Your moans, or your squeals, are also enough to get him hard. Expect him to start acting a little... needy after you make a noise like that.

King of morning sex. I shall say no more.

Loves when you go down on him. And if you moan around his cock? He's a goner.

If you blow him under his desk? He will never be able to sit at that desk again... not without going full mast.

If he's working and you whisper something lewd in his ear before walking off, he is either going to abandon his studies and want to take you up on your suggestion or he's going to sit there and stew. Either way, you have a blushing mess of a wizard on your hands.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 rolan #baldurs gate 3 #rolan #rolan bg3 #bg3 headcanons #baldur's gate fanfic #baldur's gate 3 headcanons #head canon #head canons #rolan head canons #rolan x tav #tav x rolan #rolan x reader

[tedhugheshater]

Ranting ahead.

Sex Education S4 is pure shit, by the way. I’m so sad. It used to be one of my most fave shows but it became so… soulless and boring and cliche and performative. A massive cash-grab focusing too much on annoying, one dimensional characters (when will they give Cal a personality?). The portraits of people aren’t genuine anymore and instead have been replaced by “forced inclusion” - though I hate the term, as conservatives use it too broadly just to be homophobic.

I loved the “one case per episode” type of thing, and here it was completely left behind; the cases were either briefly shallowly explored (say, Viv’s abusive relationship), or with serious scenes shown as funny (the sex scene with Adam’s dad at the beginning of I-Don’t-Know-Which Episode was too… rapey? And we are supposed to just feel embarrassed for him or laugh it off).

Characterisation was more or less okay; I liked that they continued with Otis thing with sex, but there were some flaws too. For example, I don’t really think “Insufferable Feminist” Maeve would’ve continued pressuring Otis into sex once she realised something was wrong.

Side note: I’ve rooted for them since S1 E1, that ending, seriously? Ridiculous. I’m glad Maeve is pursuing her dreams etc, but the dualism of Dreams Vs Romance was already explored in S3, and, for the sake of having a cheesy happy ending like all people wanted, why not have him go to the USA too? His horrible dad could’ve tried to get him come with him for his whole book stuff, or as a fake apology. That would’ve been great for a scene where Otis’ MRA dad meets Riot Grrrl Maeve. It would’ve been funny. It could’ve given a message. And it would help characterisation of everyone involved. On top of that, it would be interesting to explore more Jean’s journey after being left, and definitely Otis’ abandonment issues. Could’ve also been cool to talk about mother’s rights and custody.

Joanna’s CSA trauma was thrown at you and never fully (guess the word!) explored either besides from implying hyper sexuality. I must admit I liked her, though. It was a nice addition - but too sudden. Seems like a desperate try at “Quick! How do we solve this plot hole!?”. Besides, the way they “well, that just happened” over Jean’s difficulty giving birth AND Joy’s dad identity??? Insane.

The whole subplot with Eric’s dreams were, at first, a shimmer of previous seasons’ whimsy, but then it became boring too. Eric’s character in general was done dirty this season, to be honest (he would not fucking wear that! Slay is dead). And his connection with religion has already been talked about till death. Please give my boy a hobby oh my God.

I missed the monster-fucker girl. She reminded me of one of my primary school friends.

Don’t even let me started on the new school thing itself. It was horrid. Like…. not even the clothes were safe from my hate.

Nevertheless there were some good scenes, like Maeve meeting Jean, or her and Otis’ first time. That was cute. The first episode was quite cool too. But all that felt somehow overshadowed by the stupid decisions - the episode about the Queer Party? That was pretty much ass. Not only performative, shallow, and with generic dialogue, but why was everyone making out all of a sudden? Romantic arcs and tension found dead. Now senseless fan service shipping only. Same goes for Aimee and Isaac, what the fuck was that, what happened to “straight men and straight women can be friends”? Too many useless romances for my taste. The pacing and editing were also disgusting in that episode.

Anyways, I was talking about the positive parts. There were a few more, but off the top of my head I liked when they protested for accessibility. I also liked when the teachers (I can’t remember their names! The english and music/biology couple) came back for Maeve’s mom’s funeral. That episode was nice, it felt accurate. I am glad Sean was back for that. Otis and Maeve dating was cute. It’s such a pity they were separated again. Also enjoyed that they talked about postpartum depression, even if a bit too in your face at times. Aimee and Adam were lovely as always. I liked how his dad is still working on himself. Ruby’s past and trauma was also a good subject. I love Ruby, even if Maeve is and will always be my girl. The thing with O was interesting! As well as the campaign. The humour was refreshing every now and then! I found it funny how Adam’s dad tried to bond with random stuff, and how, of all people, he thought he was gay for Clint Eastwood. And his gun. That chat, and how Adam’s mom later talks about “the girl with the long neck” were a nice detail.

So it really bothered me how this season definitely had a lot of potential that was wasted by such nonsensical decisions like all the ones I mentioned. Big glow down.

Tl;dr: Too Netflixesque to my tase.

#q slur #<- god the whole ‘queer’ thing was so so so insufferable! #and by that i mean it was THE definition of rainbow capitalism in my opinion #and what happened to wlw couples??????? helloooo?????? the closest thing to that we got was Cal and the deaf girl #but then we had to focus on gender dysphoria and stuff like oh my god when will we allow lesbians to thrive #i adored the lesbian character that was in Moordale. I can’t recall her name; but the one who cheated lol #sex education spoilers #this is half baked so bear with me #sex education #sex education series #sex education netflix #sex ed spoilers #sex ed s4 #maeve wiley #otis milburn #side note. i have been an otis apologist i am an otis apologist i will be an otis apologist #he is the most idiotic ever ❤️ #that is my most problematic take #mine

[moononastring]

I miss you and Eris and Iris. Can you give us a snippet?!?! ♥️

My darling! ♥️ A lovely anon has been asking me questions and I wrote out two snippets in the asks here and here HEHE (you can find them all in #smtbasks tag.

This was inspired by a question about Iris potentially meeting the IC. For context, this is quite a bit after Eris is High Lord and Eiris were invited to a fun dinner at Elucien's place where her sisters, their mates, and friends have been invited. Eris really didn't want to go and Iris really wanted to give him a hard time.

Enjoy!

“I think we should go back home.”

“I think we should knock on the door instead.”

“No, I really think we should leave.”

Iris rolled her eyes and brought a hand to her hip, turning to her husband. She pointed with her other hand. “We are already here and we were invited,” she said. “What could possibly be the problem?”

Eris grimaced and then scowled, his eyes drifting to the front door of Lucien and Elain’s home. He could already hear the commotion. “The problem is that I have changed my mind. I don’t want to see these people.”

Iris shoved his shoulder and he glared at her. “You’re being childish. I want to meet everyone.”

“Why? They’re all obnoxious and infuriating.”

Iris narrowed her eyes and her lips twitched before she cleared her throat and said in the most serious of voices, “Are you worried that I’m meeting the two females you were trying to marry before me in one place?” she asked innocently. 

“No. That has nothing to do with —”

“Because it’s okay, I’m not jealous. I’m very curious to meet them.”

“Which is something I don’t understand —”

“I know they must be very beautiful.”

Eris closed his eyes and hoped someone would assassinate him on the spot. After a deep breath, he opened his eyes to glare at her.

“Are you fishing for compliments? You already know that I think you’re more beautiful than any other female I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

Iris fought back a smile and sighed dramatically instead. “It definitely doesn’t bother me that it took only three dances for you to propose to Nesta.” she said and pouted slightly. 

Eris’s hands twitched at his sides. “That is completely beside the point. I was a different person at that time.”

“Maybe.” Iris said quietly, looking down at her feet sadly for good measure. “I never got a proposal.”

“I met you the day of the wedding.” he said, a hint of desperation in his tone. “That doesn’t mean that I —”

“If anything, I should be the one feeling awkward to meet the two females you were interested in.”

“I was never interested in Mor that way —”

She glanced up at him, all earnest and sad. “Do you know what it feels like to be compared to two of the most devastatingly beautiful females that people mention all the time?”

“Iris —”

“If only you would take my feelings into account —”

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to by having us go back home —”

“So you don’t think I can handle being in the same room with them?”

“I never said —”

“Of course, you wouldn’t. I must be a wilted weed next to those two blossoming flowers.”

“Iris —”

“I thought you had more faith in me but I guess against two of your old flames, how can I compare?” she said with another dramatic sigh. “I guess if you don’t think I measure up against them, we definitely should go back home.”

Eris let out a growl and firmly gripped her by the shoulders, particularly slamming her against him and Iris looked up at him with a wide grin. “If you say one more negative word about yourself I will tear off your clothes and fuck you right on that dinner table so everyone knows exactly how fucken beautiful I think you are and how you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. So help me, Iris I will do it!” he snarled and then glared at her. “Why are you smiling?!”

Iris finally let out a laugh and easing out of his grip, she yanked him down by his shirt and pulled him in for a soft kiss even as he scowled at her. She pecked his lips gently, over and over again, only easing back when he had finally calmed down.

“I’m glad to know where I stand.” she said softly, a little smile on her lips.

“You were teasing me.” he accused softly but Iris shrugged, pulling away.

“You were getting worked up for no reason,” she said then swatted his stomach. “We’re here to have a good time so pull your High Lord pants up and stop worrying for no reason. We’re going in and that’s final.”

Eris grimaced then sighed. “Fine.” he growled.  “Your methods are evil and I don’t appreciate it.”

Iris smirked up at him. “I do like to keep you on your toes.”

~

Elain and Lucien had welcomed them so enthusiastically and Elain particularly had a blast introducing Iris to everyone, especially because Iris was a little shy. Mor was very nice though distant (as expected), Nesta and Feyre were very welcoming (they know how close she is to Elain and know enough about her to be friendly), Gwyn and Emerie were very sweet, Rhys had already met Iris prior to this (so had Feyre when Eris became High Lord) and was gracious as ever, Cassian was too friendly for Eris’s liking, and Azriel was quiet but calm. Jurian was annoying per usual and Vassa loud and proud. 

Everything was going well! They were having a great time!

Until Cassian, who was already tipsy had given Eris a shit-eating grin that only meant trouble and said, “I wonder if Iris and I could’ve been friends before she met you. In another lifetime, I bet her and I would’ve —”

Eris didn’t let him finish that sentence. It did not go well after that. 

#eris vanserra #eris vanserra x oc #eiris #smtb asks #myfics #Listen Cassian is an agent of chaos #and Eris is very sensitive about his wife lol #eris x iris #this was unedited so forgive me but I obv am inspired lol #Cassian is like third times the charm ay? #eiris snippets

[simpingwriter]

Cal Kestis x Kyra Yarmot

'In the Name of Love' FINAL CHAPTER/pt.12

Well, this is it. Time to end their Jedi Story-

Had my bumps and rocks in the road with the ending, but I hope I didn't disappoint too much.

And as always I would love to hear your thoughts, especially now, about the first installment, maybe last, depending on the outcome of the poll.

Update: The 2nd Book is currently being written and posted, just in case you didn't know.

TW: Character Death.

...

ENJOY! :D

Word Count: approx. 6.100 Words

___________________

With regained confidence, regained bravery and most importantly: with the definite knowledge of Cal being safe, not being hurt or worse, you began your way back to the Mantis.

Trilla gave you one thing to look for: the Archived Data Log from 30 cycles ago, Data Log Nr. 8749…it wouldn't hold all the things they did. But apparently the first proof of many that you would need to know that they did these atrocities.

Your stomach still gurgling with heavy complaints about you just deciding like that to follow the lead of an Inquisitor, you comm the crew. For whatever reason, Cal requested of you to remain mute when around them once more. But then again, you could think of a small reason: Not letting them know that you witnessed something else that threw you back OUT of your muted mental state.

Fortunately, you comm-ing them has become the universal code for "I'm done with the mission."

Cal told BD what he was supposed to say "for you", since this was the previous highly convoluted communication method.

BD was immediately on board, nodding feverishly and to a degree you both worried he could tear an important cable on accident. BD also voiced the constant worry he had felt for you, how he wished desperately that he wasn't so "small and useless", that he would have defended you more.

"Don't worry, buddy. You already did far more than I managed to do, you stayed at her side no matter what…i couldn't even do that..."

Seeing Cere stand in the arch of the ship's entrance, arms crossed and waiting, you felt off. But after your senses already betrayed you back on what they felt about Cal's fate, you suddenly no longer wanted to trust them this blindly anymore.

Though, what if they just took a beating as well during your general steady decline? It probably would take a good while for your senses to be like they used to be.

"Where is the child?" She asks…coldly, at least usually she attempts to be normal when approaching you. Not right now though, staring at you and the little Droid on your back, comfortable as always between the roots of your wings. That one Droid that prepared his lie on the way back, 'No child. Not even a trail. Only an ambush'

You never understood why BD refused speak the same full, intelligent sentences with the rest as he did with you or Cal, but you would have to ask him later at night. Wherever you two would spend that night today…

"An ambush? You're telling me that the Informant lied to us? He was a trusted source, how do you explain that?!" She had never yelled like that before, what had gotten into her? BD too sunk lower between your wings as you began to fake your fear, dodging her icy glare. She needed to believe that you didn't get back your strength, it would make BD's attempt at investigating harder than needed.

But...if you could, you would show her what you thought of her, Data Log or not. You would give her a demonstration of what a mere padawan was capable off with enough incentive.

What an animal is capable of.

Then Merrin came into view, her outfit letting you know exactly what she had been doing beforehand: testing out rituals in her room, as always. She…also had an odd look quite shortly ghosting over her unique features and you remember the jealousy you even now still felt towards her. But her express was not as bad as Cere's, she looked more hurt than anything else, "Wait, an ambush, does that mean...that there was no kid?" Deciding you needed to finally get onto the ship, you ever so silently shake your head dismissively while pushing your body past the still stiff Cere. You could feel the glare even from behind, it rivaled the heat of a Lightsaber pressed against your scaly back...

"Apparently there was no child, even though the information came from one of my most trusted sources and I make sure everyone around me is trustworthy…" Cere explained to the young Nightsister with an accusatory tone directed towards you in every word as you hurried past them all, ignoring the surprised Greez coming out of his room at that moment.

You didn't want to see their faces any longer than you had to anymore, taking everything in your body to keep the control over your emotions. Years of training with Master Tegra finally paid off...but for how long could you continue like that?

Why did they even talk to you in the first place, if the only thing they probably still saw in you was the animal that made you up partially. To them, your human side was dead, broken and wasting away in the void. Maybe they thought the most human thing left of you was the ability to understand their words...

And they probably also thought that you felt the same way, since, well…a human would talk, wouldn't he?

You hated such simple minded beliefs, like they were the actual animals at the end of the day...

Seeing only animal or human.

Only black or white.

Only good or bad…

Refusing to elaborate your finds beyond BD trying to sell the made up Ambush story coming straight from Cal's fantastic grey cells as good as he possibly could – in that case staying behind in the living area and near the cockpit for you – you quickly disappeared into your formerly shared quarters once more. The karking engine room…

No matter how silent one actually runs in the end, the Engine room usually was used in stories to tell the listeners how rodents managed to hide on a ship, scavenging for the rotten scraps of the actual passengers.

And if not for dirty, unwanted or undesired animals, for said rodents, it was used to describe the nearly nonstop working place for the underpaid workers that kept the ship's engine from dying to malfunctions. Though that story metaphor would fit much better on a big ship. Not a little nutshell like the Mantis is.

In this story…their story…you're the rodent.

The animal.

So, just like an animal clearly is supposed to behave, you strip your sweaty and dirty clothes off your body. They unfortunately took quite a beating from the sheer endless missions since you bought them and it's been just as long as Cal was gone since you had gotten the chance to even buy a new set of clothes that fit your unusual requirements, or even new underwear. Or new anything…

The Mantis was nothing but a safer, more dry

cave...

Using the mirror from Cal, you dared to truly look at yourself for the first time again.

You looked like an animal too. A malnourished and severely sleep deprived animal. Dark, dry circles marked your sunken in eyes, only now you saw a small glimmer back in them, hope. Or was it anger? You didn't know, as both had been lost to you, so it might as well have been both.

Your blunt and splintered claws went to feel the areas of your face scales that stood out most to you, having to realize that they stood out that much because they turned out to be dry and flakey. Very dry. No wonder they itched so badly, they hadn't seen any other moisture but shower water, tears and sweat. And sometimes blood.

How could you just…let yourself go like that?

You never had such issues back in the actual karking wild almost six months ago and there you didn't have access to showers and moisturizer every day or even every week. You had months you looked like absolute dogwater and yet…you looked even worse for wear now. Because you knew you let that happen to you despite being able to run away the whole time...

Back then you had no choice and you knew the appearance would change again as soon as you found your way onto a planet that thankfully knew what a Refresher was. You had this hope constantly keeping you from seeing it coming down to the very worst.

Unlike these three months... you were sure this was it. You found your mate and lost him within 24 hours tops and it made you feel like you didn't even deserve to call yourself whatever your species was, that even your ancestors would shake their heads at your pathetic life story. Even their name had become too obscure, enough to be forgotten to time…

The door above, the one you locked, suddenly hissing open caught you off guard as you quickly covered the mirror again, carefully slinking back to the front to see who managed to unlock the door. But at the sight, it should've been obvious…it's just BD-1.

'I locked it again!' Just like a good boy is supposed to. You hold out your hands at the opening for the ladder, motioning to him to jump down onto them.

Once back on your level, he jumped off your hands as well, pacing to the beds quietly. "D-did you find anything?" You whisper as quietly as you possibly could, not wanting them to find out just too soon. One part of your mind wished he didn't, not sure if you could withstand the possibility of having being lied to all your life and yet BD nods slowly, staying quiet nonetheless, simply looking at you with his Optics. He wasn't able to stand still, prancing around on his legs like something bugged him.

"So? What did you fi-"

And without another warning except a low and depressing toot, clearly in defeat of you apparently not having forgotten what you two came here for in the first place – Would be quite silly to think that you would just leave it at that – he starts…a recording.

A data log…

'Recording Data Log Nr. 8749, This is Cordova, currently on the planet Rhothant, a quite mysterious but breathtaking one. Accompanied by my new Padawan, Cere Junda, I and various others of the Order have been sent here to check in the operations. I of course took that opportunity to do some recordings for my research for the many species of the Galaxy.'

The recording went on with the by now familiar man, though much younger than on the holograms he left for Cal. Next to him? An also younger version of Cere, nothing but a metr child, even younger than you and Cal are right now. The events of the recording started off in a mine, looking similar to what various books and legends talked about when they mentioned your kind, but bigger...and quite obviously industrial. Massive, hollowed out structures and mass amounts of rails leading into more tunnels that lead to even more tunnels, rock piles being towered high at the furthest end.

And then…then you saw them, one in particular.

Another one of your kind…barely recognizable as one by the severe disfigurement.

Shackled. Bruised. His wings were cut beyond any chances of healing or fixing them, leaving nothing but badly healed stumps to keep him from attempting possibly another escape…not that he mentally looked anywhere near capable of that.

His red eyes were vibrant in color and yet glazed over, a special place that once had to have held strong willpower and maybe also love for his very own special one, his former mate. Dust and dirt stuck in every fine crevice of his green scales, his horns cut short and blunted down, undoubtedly a bad job with the horns' nerve endings seriously inflamed when they were cut into as well by accident, just like his wings.

The further the recording went, you found more of them. They all looked the same way, tired, dirty, sickly…working till they eventually broke down...

And slowly but surely, you also felt yourself become ill at their appearance, at the conditions they were kept in...the first tear rolling down your face as you had to watch their suffering, painfully aware that you could no longer help them...

And in all of that, you did not see the Empire's Sigil once, for one obvious reason that Trilla called out before you left: This was years…literal years before they had even been able to create and manage such a huge project! At this point of history, they had to have been in hiding still…

No, the only symbol proudly displayed at the entrance of this one mine – Cordova talking about there being over 20 others… – was the sign of…of the Republic.

Trilla was right.

The enemy was right.

The very people that you trusted for all your life, the one you trusted and followed in their footsteps blindly…the one you trusted with your life should it ever be endangered. It was them all along? They caused the extinction of your species and you fought for their beliefs like an idiot!

While Cordova walked towards something glowing in the back, you began to doubt yourself, for never having seen the massive hole in their story until today…and how nobody else did either.

It was taken across the Galaxy, taken at face value by everyone that heard it. Not one person in the Republic questioned their cover up stories, no one even dared to think about investigating, after all, for what? Since it must've been so evident that it had to have been the Sith that caused such a massacre, only they are capable of cruelty after all…!

They just let your kind rot and die on their own planet, slaving away at the hands of the very same Republic that made slavery illegal with the Rights to Sentience clause. They talked about that very clause for hours in school at the Jedi Temple back then, the disgusting hypocrisy you had to witness in this very moment causing more and more acidic bile to rise up your throat.

And in that whole recording, there was Cere…not once looking majorly shocked by what she saw. When she saw one of the workers break down and nobody came to help that poor, dying man, even then her warm smile didn't leave. For Cere, this was nothing bad…for her this was for "the greater good" of the Republic, just like any other old, boring Resource Project Cordova dragged her to. She didn't feel the same or any pain on that day, even by being present, instead of the pain and hopelessness you felt by only being able to watch that frail man collapse.

He didn't move after he fell, the nerves in the stub – that once had to have been a majestic and battle hardened tail – making it twitch from muscle memory, two Worker Droids grabbing the now lifeless body by his cut open feet and dragging it away to some unnamed tunnel. You could only imagine what lies at the end of it…

Goosebumps began to cover your exposed skin as even BD looked like he became uncomfortable from watching that section, probably a second time too now...

And makers, you really didn't want to continue watching. You had seen what was needed to be seem to make your...undebatable decisions…but you had to see the rest, you deserved to at least find out why they were held so deep underground...no matter the emotional distress you already went through from only the first parts.

Many...way, way too many...gut wrenching moments later, you felt your eyes tearing up at all these atrocities they managed to hide from you. The people that took care of you…did they all know?

Did Master Tegra know?

Did your Clones know?

Did you really trust and leave your life at the hands of people that previously enslaved your whole species?! Now you wondered if even they, your only family back as a youngling…did even they saw nothing but an exploitable animal when they looked at you? Did they never feel any shame or did they just take all these lives lost for granted…for this supposed greater good?

A familiar object on the video lets your mouth fall open though…that was their karking reason…

Kyber Crystals. Huge chunks, rivaling the purity of Ilum's…

Chromium, mine cart after mine cart with its raw form being taken out from the small holes they forced the men through.

Cortosis, a blaster conductive and even Lightsaber resistant metal…though not very useful for armor in the end.

And, shockingly enough…Beskar. Far less than what could be found on Mandalore and Concordia, but the fact alone that Rhothant seemingly had notes of the high quality Iron…

"And the Metal Resources are just the tip of the iceberg if we're talking about all the uses these strong, durable creatures have for the Republic. One of the greatest discoveries-" even if for just a moment, you scowl at his tasteless choice of words, calling you and your Species Creatures…he really only saw you as animals. Work Animals that helped him to further his karking Studies…

" -was that this Species has shown critically increased potential for Force Sensitivity, even the untrained children showing an incredible connection to the Force from a young age, which would now bring us to our next two uses as this species."

He left the mines, the video skipped further ahead before suddenly stopping entirely as BD shook his head terrified, optics begging you to now ask him to show you what he did end up skipping. And you didn't…for now.

You could continue this horrible revelation later, for now you had to atleast try thinking about what you just now witnessed instead...

Everyone probably knew and they deliberately chose to keep that information from you and…how…how did you even end up in the Jedi Temple?

You already told Cal once – during your few one on one days – that you didn't remember anything about where you came from – not even the name of your apparent Homeplanet, Rhothant, rang a bell – the last memories before the Jedi Temple a painful blur whenever you tried to reach back to that part of your life, as you were nothing but a mere toddler back then. You had been in Master Tegra's care for as long as you could actually remember…he was like your father figure, he had always been far more than just a mentor to you...

Could it be that Cal connected the dots before you?

Did they take you from your parents against their will...and how many kids were hit with the same fate as you?

'Please...don't watch the rest…' BD whoops and beeps quietly – slowly beginning to back off with the worry of you perhaps trying to manually continue the recording – clearly knowing much more than you at that moment, maybe even too much for his innocent personality...

And for your currently scrambled eggs like mental state, you were sure that was better as of now. But his odd request worried you…what kind of things were on that damned recording? What else did they do to your people?!

"I won't. For now…but someday I will have to, even if i don't want to feel this way again. I deserve to know the full reason that apparently made erasing a whole species okay to do in their eyes…" you return bitterly, giving him some much needed and yet trivial head scratches, not just for him but also to attempt calming your fringed nerves, your tail tip – even while having become blunt like your claws – breaking any unfortunate loose object behind you as it erratically and strongly swished back and forth across the ship's floor, taking significant part in showcasing your inner turmoil at this moment.

You never knew if BD was even able to feel your head scratches, only that he seemed to at least acknowledge and play into them for you, leaning closer to your claws everytime, sometimes going as far as lying down next to you. Next to him taking recharging breaks at night, those were probably the moments he moved the least, simply enjoying these few moments left that weren't occupied by missions or you being haunted by your own trauma and nightmares...

BD trusted you and you trusted BD.

'You're taking this better than I had thought.'

Oh you don't even know BD…the stacked and build up anger deep within you was boiling hot, like the centuries old Magma in a Volcano ready to finally erupt after keeping quiet for all these years. But you had to hold back for now…you…you had to contact someone first...

"I'm not."

A small 'oh no…' was all he could answer to your sudden and blatant change in tone, shortly letting your actual emotions shine through as you changed the selected frequency on your wrist comm, blocking a different one while you were at it anyways.

You wouldn't need the other one anymore after the next events of today.

"...Cal, are you there? It's…it's Kyra…" you heard your voice break in-between, starting to sob as the realization now fully settled in at your thoughts, eating away at your sanity once more. He almost immediately responded, clearly having run towards the stationary comm on their ship as he pants out his response, "Y-yes, I'm here!...is everything alright…Kyra?...are you okay?"

For a moment you pause, imagining him in standing directly front of you as he talked, the same handsome smile as always, just as you desired to keep remembering through these tough months, though right now he was probably frowning from his tone. He was worried, obviously.

While you miserably tried to think about your next choice of words, BD went to the small bedside table on Cal's side, motioning you with his head to come to his side. He needed to show you something...

"…I…I found it, well BD did…and- please…please, come get us before...before I do something I might not regret." The words came out more panicked than you initially intended them to, having yourself partially choked up on your suddenly overwhelming emotions crashing in like waves…you're on the same ship as someone that was a proud part of the people that caused your species' extinction.

You had slept on that same ship as that monster person…without a care in the Galaxy.

As you went to look at what BD wanted to show you so pressingly, dragging yourself half-heartedly over to the droid, Cal cursed on the other end of the comm, talking to Trilla in the back. But you didn't catch what he was talking about until he turned back to the comm.

"Does that mean that you-" "Yes, Cal-...what…what is that, is that what i think it is?!"

BD at first pulled then pushed open the small drawer, some useless little tidbits Cal sometimes fiddled with, old screws and various slightly worrying amounts of candy wrappers littering the upper layer. But below it lied a…a tip. Inside of a glass casing suspended was an animal's tail tip.

Not just of any tail, but of a severed dragon tail.

The appendage had a small bit of the original tail left, the red meat on the inside, the bone…everything. Even the purple blood was preserved within the glass-like substance.

"C-cal…" It was nothing but a weakened whimper now, the comm barely picking it up, the hand that just held onto the offending object dropping it like it burned even your skin, the clank of it keeping you from totally drifting elsewhere. This once belonged to an actual living, breathing being! A living being that was the same as you!

Wh-why was this here?

"Yes, my love?!" ... M-my love…

"D-dragon Tail…in…in...", how he even still heard you through the further and further receding quality our your choked out sobbing was a mystery, but you wouldn't be surprised if it was simply the helpless feeling of distress he sensed even through the artificial communication, all the way back in the mountains where their ship had landed. "O-oh that…I found it while sneaking into Cere's room while everyone else was out, when i tried finding more of these grotesque Data Logs…"

It was Cere's, of course it was. Who…who else would keep such a disgusting display, like...a trophy…

"I…I think I shouldn't have touched it, Kyra…"

Why-...no…

"You could feel it, couldn't you? Their pain?" Every once in a while you would actually almost forget about Cal's special force ability, Psychometry, that he could not just sense the emotions connected to objects, he would see and hear the past events the object was in and used for unfold. He would've seen this dragon-person's entire life and upbringing…and their eventual death, a death that couldn't have been natural with Cere keeping the tail...

"And…and so much more, Dragonfly…I couldn't stay any longer after witnessing that...T-That poor old man, Kyra. I-I just couldn't look at her the same karking way anymore, you have to understand-" Was that his true catalyst, why he finally made this decision? The echo of this very tail tip?

"I do..."

Effectively avoiding having to look at the tail a second time, you leave his old bedside, kneeling down to the flat drawer below your bed. Pulling it out, you're faced with mostly all the Ponchos that once belonged to Cal, even his most treasured one...the one he said he always wore back on Bracca, looking the most worn of them all. After he left, you relocated them to your also mostly empty drawer, switching out the one you held during your "sleep" every three rotations for a different one, trying your best to keep his scent in your thoughts. Because at first, when you didn't and his scent faded from your pallet, you had become restless. You no longer knew where he was and then you even began to lose the way he smelled, it caused near panic at one night.

It was BD who one night pulled one of the Ponchos towards your bed. Initially not because of the Scent, he simply thought a piece to remember him by would help you get through that especially difficult night. The first of many...

And Cal had so incredibly many, even after almost three whole months, you still hadn't used a Poncho twice…but your favorite had always been the dark blue one, "Hyper Shell"-branded one he wore to almost every mission. It smelled the most of him...his scent clinging to it like an expensive cologne just got dumped all over it, it almost ended up making you dizzy from the overwhelming amount of him on it.

"Hey Cal…?" You whisper back, trying to calm your overall emotions down to low…simmering…as you shakily grabbed a backpack from the same drawer, "Yes?" His tone was almost the same as yours, barely holding on, but for you, he kept his still very noticeable anger back.

"W-which Ponchos should I bring with me?"

And there it was. A dry chuckle. He loved your absolutely absurd ways to try and ease up a tense situation, air usually thick enough to cut with a knife or claws. But today…he knew himself that if he didn't play along with your almost pathetic last attempts at keeping yourself emotionally and mentally in check, he would find nothing but metal scrap in the Mantis' former spot. "You know I like them all-" "T-then…all- all it is."

He heard it in your voice, you were moments from going off like a badly built firecracker wheel he vaguely remembered from Coruscant being used during Republic Day…he can more than imagine how it must feel to slowly begin to realize that for years, you celebrated the same people that caused your suffering in the first place.

If he so desired, he could feel your Echo as well, your unique and one of a kind shared connection making it all possible. But he was afraid of what he might get to see, the death of your Master, your friends, everyone you had ever loved or seen as close enough to call family before he entered your life.

What he was even more afraid of was that he would get to see what exactly you meant when you said you were endangering him by being at his side.

"Kyra-"

A hard knock against your still locked door lets your fingers almost automatically fly to the end-call button, eyes wide at the not-just-yet-intrusion. But you were smarter than to answer verbally, knowing you would lose your cover that way. Though...by now…did you need to anymore anyways?

"Kyra, get out here quick, the scanner just picked up an Imperial Inquisitor Ship coming right to our location, we need to leave ASAP!" And Inquisitor's ship…he…he was really coming to get you?!

The door hissed open with you unlocking it, setting you immediately eye to eye with…with her. Calm down, Kyra, don't…don't…do not let her-

"WHAT?!" ah sssshit-

"I knew it." You repeat, WHAT?!

Something on your face, maybe your expression or the fresh tear stains, must've triggered her as her dark eyes widened, a bitter scowl all she thought you were worthy of as she grabbed you harshly by the shoulder. How did she dare?! Has she already forgotten in these three months that you could quite literally make her body implode and then explode if she angered you any more than she had already?

And boy were you close to-

click.

"You think simple karking shackles can keep you safe from me?!"

You had broken so many of them in your surprisingly short life, a shocking amount due to a certain Mandalorian's inability to stay out of trouble like everyone on the ship usually told him to and demanding you to follow him on his trips, since he wanted you to use them for hands-on training. Trips that always turned out interesting, fun, exciting. Even if they were dangerous, especially for teen back then. They stimulated all the right corners of your young and reckless dragon brain…adrenaline was your drug back then. And you still liked it when doing such things at the side of the right company.

"I wouldn't have used them if I didn't know that they would. Bought them a month after that traitor dragged you along, just in case you ever went out of your boundaries...like right now."

The sheer audacity she had to call Cal a Traitor was actually the biggest insult in that whole sentence as you began to struggle against the unexpectedly heavy binds.

Nobody insulted him. Not without consequences!

"How, how did you know?!" She continued dragging your less than willing legs into the middle of the living area, Merrin and Greez huddled behind the holomap, which wouldn't have been much use to them if it weren't for the shackles, as they watched Cere push you to the ground and onto your knees.

Force Suppressing Cuffs…if you wouldn't know better, they felt like they weakened more than just your Connection to the Force…you couldn't even resist against her pushing you and you were many times physically stronger than this old hag.

"I had a tiny helper…though he did it unknowingly...he is way too loyal to you two."

BD…did she activate the camera function without any of you three noticing or realizing? And when…when did she-

"Yes, I knew where Cal went. All this time. That's why I held back BD, in case he managed to get ahold of you already back then…" she sighs, eyeing the mentioned Droid, he had been quick to run to your side, nudging your side worriedly, trying to dodge her glare by hiding under your hands. And his entire frame shook, more emotions present in one miniature Droid than even half of the old Republic Senate it seemed…

'You need to stand up and do something, please, Kyra! Cal…Cal, he's coming for us…'

You know that, BD, you know…but Cere's grip on your shoulder felt like Neuranium pressed down on you. You were forced to hear her stupid monologue, barely getting out your own words as she went on. And on...

"But fortunately back then, you still were on the right path. You ran away. But he was already inside of your head, like a parasite he infested your already greatly flawed mind..." Who did she think she was to decide what was wrong with you? She wasn't your Master, she wasn't your boss…she was nothing to you, she never had been anything in the first place! The only respect she ever got out from you was for Cal, to keep him and you out of trouble!

When your wrist comm beeped, telling you about a call from "Unknown", you panicked…but just for a moment.

Apparently she was already fully aware of you and Cal talking again, so why shouldn't she hear his words. The words of the boy she called traitor while it was the other way around, stabbing you in the back, lying and keeping important truths to herself. "BD…could you, please?" He understood your request to accept the call and did so before Cere reached him again, running back in front of you, where your body was able to shield his much smaller one.

"Kyra?! I was worried that you didn't pick up, we're almost there, have you got everything you want?"

Cere, listening without interrupting him, came to a loud laugh as she gripped your shoulder tighter, drawing a wince from you. How was she able to…what kind of Cuffs are these?!

You heard him gasp at her familiar voice behind the small wrist comm before catching on, "Cere…" "Did you really think I'm that stupid, little boy? I have years and years more life experience than either of you two combined. I know the faces of people planning to backstab me more than you would expect…"

While she…continued monologuing…something you realized you deserved to do for at least once in your messed up life, you motioned BD subtly to go for the door controls. If Cal said he was there soon, you had to get ready to go, a slight problem being the fact that you saw the Mantis already in the air now. They really were going to leave the planet, they are about to kidnap you!

The thought alone, being separated by Cal once again – probably that time forever after you lost your cover – made a unique but familiar panic settle into your bones. You had to get out!

You had to get back to him!

Cal!

"Let me…go!" In the back, Greez shouts out in pain as he stumbles backwards and into Merrin, a small bright flicker from the edge of your vision saying everything you needed to know, BD shocked Greez. He definitely tried to keep him off the door controls, Merrin now also trying to restrain his small body. But within time, he got there anyway. Using his scomp link, the Droid just barely dodged Merrin to quickly scurry back over to you, his sanctuary.

"Karking dammit! BD blocked the door controls, I need to manually override them if the door is supposed to close again!" Manual overrides took ages on this stupid ship…

"Thank you BD…" you whisper, but the Droid never reaches you again, hearing his "shouts" behind you. At the same time, the near crushing weight of her hand lifted off of you.

In an instant you used that returned freedom, spinning your body around while getting back onto your feet to face Cere, albeit very unsteady as you stare her down. If…if you just could…

You wanted to hurt her, you never wanted anything more than to just…H U R T HER.

M A I M HER.

RIP HER A P A R T...

Nothing would've held you back anymore by now…but of course these horrible Cuffs took away your strength once more after only just an hour ago gaining them back finally.

"Just like Master Cordova had predicted all these years ago…Your kind was destined to wander the wrong path, way too easily drawn to their emotions, to their attachments, just Animals after all... Just. Like. You. They were lost and so are you!" She shouts, holding onto BD's small legs as he feverishly struggles against her hand. But his Shock Mod still had to recharge fully…not much longer, Buddy.

With the door now fully opened – Greez already working on that override – you felt the push of air from the Mantis flying higher via autopiloting. But that wasn't everything...you also heard another ship getting closer, a distant hiss of a heavy ship door opening mid flight.

He was here. Your mate has come back for you…you're not condemned!

"Maybe the wrong path for a Jedi…but I always saw this whole system as flawed in itself. There is more than black and white!" Your growling shout returns, you felt the anger quite literally vibrate in your body.

It fought against your restraints. The Force didn't like to be contained and you disliked it as well…something in common, huh?

Over the Comm, you heard Cal shouting your name in desperation, partially reaching your ears from the outside as well as you backed up towards his voice's direction. Hands cuffed or not, your wings would not be able to be contained!

In some sense, your kind would've always remained free, if they hadn't cut their wings off…mutilated them and the most prided body parts the dragon People possessed.

"You need to Jump now, Kyra!"

No, not without BD! You wouldn't leave him, he was your friend and he was Cal's best friend!

Closing distance once more for just a split second, you – with a swift upwards whip of your tail – leave a deep and memorable cut on her thighs, watching BD drop unceremoniously to the ground. You took that as your signal to turn around and start towards the door once again, he would be quick enough to jump onto you in time.

Already out on the small door's platform, you fought against the increasingly thinner air, shielding your eyes with an arm as you begin to spread your wings. You saw Cal at the other side, golden eyes wide as he smiled hopeful and arms spread wide to catch you, just in case you needed it. Or maybe he just wanted to hold you again as soon as he could...

He missed you terribly. He let you feel that emotion and all these others swarming his thoughts at this very moment.

From behind, you heard BD's little metallic feet approach quickly, hastily beeping something you didn't make out in time as you begin to push yourself o-

Until you heard the familiar humming.

And you had to realize way too late...your lightsaber was no longer at your hips. It was gone.

"I am not letting the Empire get another one of you! Even if I have to kill you myself!" Before you're even able to be surprised and call out in shock, your eyes catch the flash white blade of your Weapon directly next to you, the smell of burned skin reaching your nose as she slashed through...through...

Then you saw a flap of your wing fluttering loosely against the wind-

She cut your wing!

Cuffed hands or not, you would make her pay with her pathetic karking life, now! Spinning on your heels, you ignored Cal's panicked outburst at Cere's actions, unidentifiable words being shouted towards someone else. Small specks of purple blood disappeared in the winds as you growled at her, feeling your lungs heat up.

The abilities of your species weren't bound to the force...

But she also had BD once again in her grip! No, you- you couldn't use fire now! It would break him alongside her. And she was aware of them, your "attachments"…, slowly stepping closer, the white blade pointed towards your unprotected throat.

Not exactly Jedi-like behavior, was it?

"Don't make this any harder for any of us…" she says against the winds as you get closer to the atmosphere. You…you couldn't fly anymore...never again..., how should you get off here?!

Before you could get even a foot closer to her to free BD from her grasp, you felt an invisible force begin pushing you back. N-no…how? Cere said she cut her connection a long time ago! How was she doing this?!

"You think I will tell suspects of betrayal my own plans?"

And with that, she gave you the final push.

Within moments you lost your footing as your arms began to waver and you fell...

You tried to the best of your ability to keep your spinning body steady in the air, but your mutilated wing membrane made that impossible as you narrowly missed the platform of Cal's ship.

It all felt like slow-motion as you fell not into his arms...but past him, the sudden change to fear and worry as he realized that you continued falling...that you kept falling without being able to stop yourself.

From above, you hear Cere shout in pain, calling out BD's name as you watch him jump after you while your body was facing upwards for a short moment.

No, he has even less control over his body at this height! He wouldn't make it!

"BD NOOOOO!" You shout upwards, hoping Cal could catch at least the his beloved Droid…BD can't leave him alone now, not when you are about to already...

But BD wasn't even close to the Inquisitor's Ship Platform, falling towards you like a rock and hitting you straight on the head.

You were about 1 mile off ground, if you speed up your fall to catch up to him, you could at least save BD by cushioning his own fall…

Cal can't lose both of you…

For the last time and for the first time in years, you remembered your advanced flying techniques, using the aerodynamics of whatever is left of your wings, spearing towards the yelling BD Unit. His panicked, clearly distressed beeps and boops got closer and closer, until you finally had his body back in your claws, streaks of salty tears running across your face as you cradle him close to your body.

That maneuver though also guided your fall directly across a big gap in the ground. A canyon split…

Giving the two ships one last glance above, you sneered when the Mantis simply pulled off, using the shock of Cal to leave the Atmosphere now. Within seconds, they were gone. Leaving you to die, like she told you…

After all these things you did for them too...

You were too far below already to hear his physical pained cries of your name, but the connection was still intact.

You felt the tears on his own face, his fists slamming uncaringly against the metal he now kneeled on, the very beat of his heart and now you knew he was yelling instructions at the pilot of the ship the whole time. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be in time…the ship wouldn't be able to catch up in time, nonetheless stop your fall without crushing you.

You fell past the massive stone walls of the canyon and grazed the first rock outcrop, not even able to cry out in pain at the sudden sharp impact to your side, immediately feeling the air leave your lungs as you began to get thrown side to side from the momentum you build by now.

Ever felt like your whole body was getting broken…but you couldn't scream? You couldn't voice your agony, no matter how much you tried?

Like you're being controlled...

Purple blood from your growing amount of open lacerations, lighter than the rest of you, spotting in the air above you as you continued your fall to your demise, body becoming limp like a ragdoll.

All...all you had wanted was one last kiss…one last hug that you actually reciprocated.

Why…why didn't you kiss him when you had the chance to earlier? Why didn't you press yourself against his embrace like it would be your last?

You regretted so many things in life, but none as much as keeping him away from you in these short fleeting moments, feeling so stupid for pushing him away earlier.

You…you loved him. No matter what he became, what you became…

No matter where he went, you would've followed, to the end of the Galaxy if it had to be…

But your realization was a little too late now, feeling bones break on each impact. And a normal human would've died on the first outcrop they hit…they would've had the easy way out…

But you're not normal…you're a monster. A creature, the last of its kind...soon ending it for good.

A creature that only wanted to have a home to return to at the end of the day…was this too much to ask for?

You heard his thoughts one last time, realizing he heard yours too...your wishes, your doubts, your regrets..., seconds before BD slipped from your hands at the last outcrop that you hit, your final and last frail scream consisting of nothing but BD's short name as this cocktail of you two's...emotions hit you like a Train at full Speed…

'I LOVE YOU, KYRA! KYRAAAA! I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU TOO, PLEASEEE!'

This was no thought of his, it was the breaking Wrist Comm…it also took a beating, his voice slightly garbled but you still fully heard his intended words as you began to cry. He loved you…he kept reminding you...even at your lost moments. You would never forget, even after death, for Cal.

You remember every time he told you these simple words, everytime you wondered how you even deserved them. But unlike back then, you didn't want fight these feelings any longer. You just wished you were given more time with him…to show him how much you loved him back as well.

Now, he would never be able to give you this place you wished for, a place to make your dream come true, even in the chaos of the current times…

He would've done anything and everything for you.

All in the Name of Love…

"I love you too…Ca-"

Crack-

Within moments you felt one last impact on your neck, your back and your head, the force throwing your already mangled body to the side as the last thing you heard was the gut wrenching shouting of your name coming from your wrist...from everywhere...

And everything went black as you gave you last ragged breath...

Today, we write about the day that the Galaxy lost yet another Jedi…

___________________

#star wars fallen order #cal kestis #cal kestis x reader #cal kestis x oc #fallen order cal kestis #star wars cal kestis #final chapter #ho boi-

[genshin-obsessed]

I read your future child writing?? idk what to cal it to be honest-- but can I request the same with Zhongli and Kaeya? If not its ok! thanks anyway

this is so freaking long lmao but I hope you enjoy it <333 I had to use the previous one as a template so don't mind any mistakes!!!

Reader's basically female if you squint but you can pretend like it's gender-neutral

Part 1

Meant to Be p2

◈ Kaeya

Kaeya had been heading back to the KoF headquarters when he heard crying. He followed it, only to find a small child on the ground with a small pendant beside them. He quickly ran to them, asking if they were ok. Their eyes widened and they quickly hugged him, still crying. Kaeya took the pendant and the crying kid back with him. Throughout the entire day, the child wouldn’t stop calling Kaeya “daddy”. Yes, his friends definitely teased him about it. Though, there were similarities between Kaeya and the child. Mainly the child’s bright blue eyes.

Jean, Amber, and Lisa were a great help, but (c/n) refused to stay away from Kaeya. They kept saying “no, I want to stay with daddy!” It was hard. Kaeya was a busy guy and now he had a child to look after, one who wouldn’t leave him alone. Then, the heavens smiled down upon him and sent you to him… by accident. It didn’t matter, he took his chance and asked you for help. Thankfully you agreed.

You two desperately tried to find (c/n)’s real parents even though they kept saying you two were the parents. You two asked around, distributed flyers, even put up posters, but no one recognized (c/n). This led to both you and Kaeya becoming the “parents” for the time being. Kaeya was still annoyed at being called “dad” but you thought it was cute.

You pointed out that (c/n) looked a lot like Kaeya and that maybe they were related somehow? Kaeya insisted they weren’t, but (c/n)’s eyes really reminded you of Kaeya’s.

Not only that but (c/n) had streaks of blue in their hair as well as similar skin tone. Actually, they had a mix of yours as well. You were sure. This led you to ask him, regardless of being told already.

“NO, I’M NOT A DEADBEAT FATHER-” “I WAS JUST THINKING OUT LOUD!”

Eventually, you two were just forced to ask (c/n)... who had the response you two didn’t want.

“What’s your father’s name?”

“Kaeya Al-Albe-Alberich!”

“A-and your mother?”

“(y/n) Alb-Alberich.” It took some time, but after revealing that pendant Kaeya had found when he first met (c/n), you two were convinced you were the parents. You had to be. When you asked (c/n) more about their world, you got the idea that maybe (c/n) was from the future and was always your child.

Your time spent with (c/n) was great, actually. You and Kaeya had really become like parents. You two would go shopping together, walk around with (c/n) in the middle holding both your hands, and it helped you realize that you did, indeed, love Kaeya and wanted to be with him. One day, you two had left (c/n) alone for about ten minutes. When you returned, they were gone. You two flew into a panic, trying to look for them anywhere but you weren’t able to find them. Your only conclusion was that (c/n) returned to their original time.

◈ Zhongli

Zhongli actually had someone come to tell him about (c/n). Why? Because (c/n) had found them saying “can you help me find my father? His name is Zhongli.” Of course, he was concerned. He didn’t have a child!! When he did meet up with the kid, Zhongli noticed something that freaked him out even more. The child really resembled you.

The child was VERY well behaved but they were still a child. They were constantly clinging to Zhongli and calling him “dad”. Zhongli tried to stop them- but eventually gave up. His saving grace was when he saw you walking by his place. He immediately stopped you- rather ungracefully- and asked if you could help him. It didn’t take long for you to say “woah, I didn’t know you had a kid,” “I-I don’t!” Yeah, they looked SO much like Zhongli it was scary.

You two set out to find their parents but no one- and I mean NO ONE had ever seen the child before. The flyers didn’t help either. Eventually, you two resorted to asking who (c/n) believed their parents were and they immediately pointed at you two. However, instead of brushing it off, Zhongli asked what they meant. They went on to explain that you and Zhongli were their parents- and had always been so. They were so adamant and how could such a small child lie about this?

That’s when Zhongli realized (c/n) did look like you, with similar facial structures- mainly around the nose and jawline and though it didn’t seem too prominent, when he looked at (c/n) he saw you. Like a small, baby version of you.

On the other hand, you also noticed similar features, especially with the hair and those red-orange eyes. You knew Zhongli said he wasn’t the parent but the similarities were very scary.

After all the explanations you’d received from (c/n), you two were convinced this really was your child. Zhongli hypothesized (c/n) was from the future and had someone managed to go back in time. You had no other choice but to accept- given all the evidence.

Spending time with (c/n) and Zhongli made you happier than you’d imagined. You two were an actual family because you stayed at Zhongli’s place while (c/n) slept in another room. Days turned into weeks and before you knew it, you’d both fallen into this routine that it was odd when you woke up to find (c/n) missing.

The two of you did turn into parents. You were thrown into a panic as you desperately searched for the child. You two went everywhere- asked everyone but no one had seen (c/n). The day did end with you crying in Zhongli’s arms, wondering where your child was.

Eventually, you two only had one theory: (c/n) returned to their original time. You wondered if your future selves were as scared as you two were now. You could only hope that when you meant (c/n) in the future, you wouldn’t lose them and that even if they did actually go back in time- they’d returned to you, safe and sound.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact fluff #genshin kaeya x reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya headcanons #genshin zhongli x reader #zhongli x reader #zhongli headcanons

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer x Fem! Reader

Masterlist

Chapter 10

You were packing up your stuff as students filed out of the lecture hall, it was your last class of the day. As you were walking out towards the parking lot, your phone started to vibrate in your bag. It was the school.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Hi Y/N. It’s Mrs. Flynn. I was just calling to let you know that Jo is now waiting inside with me because she was getting cold outside,” she informed you.

“Spencer’s not there?” you questioned, looking at the time displayed on your phone.

Pickup time was fifteen minutes ago.

“I’m on my way. I’ll be there in ten minutes. Sorry for the inconvenience,” you opened your car door and set your bag down in the passenger seat, turning on the ignition.

“No worries, I have to reorganize the classroom library anyways so I was already planning on staying after.”

Once the call ended, you tried to call Spencer but it went straight to voicemail.

“Hey Spencer, I don’t know if you forgot but it was your day to pick up Jo. I’m getting her now,” you said as you reversed out of your parking spot.

Minutes later, your phone rang again. Expecting Spencer’s contact to show up on screen, your brow furrowed when the name read “JJ” instead.

“Hi JJ?” you said, more of a question than a greeting.

“Y/N, Spencer has been shot. I already told Will to go back to the school to pick up Jo. You should get here if you can. He’s in surgery now but there has been no update since he went in,” JJ explained.

“Oh my god. Okay, I’m turning around now. How did this happen? He didn’t mention he was on a case?” you pulled into a random parking lot to turn around.

“Well technically, we weren’t. We had a lead on a possible local case and we went to interview a potential witness who could give us some more information. We realized too late that he was the unsub. He thought we were on to him and shot Spencer in the leg while trying to escape.”

You had silent tears running down your face.

“I’m five minutes out” is all you could muster and then you hung up the phone.

You ran into the ER doors to find the rest of the team in the waiting room. You were glad you went to Rossi’s dinner party now or else this would have been a much more awkward first meeting.

“Any updates?” you asked frantically.

“No,” Derek sighed, “But no news is good news.”

You took the empty seat in between JJ and Penelope and put your face in your hands, not wanting everyone to see your tears.

-

Two hours of crappy coffee and vending machine snacks as your only source of sustenance later, a doctor emerged from behind the double doors.

She had a completely neutral expression that you couldn’t read but then again you weren’t a profiler.

“Dr. Spencer Reid?” she asked, glancing down at her clipboard.

All of you stood and desperately crowded around her.

“Dr. Reid is in stable condition and awake. The bullet went into his thigh but it wasn’t through and through. He will need to be on crutches for about a week or so but luckily the bullet wound is near the edge of his thigh rather than the middle, meaning recovery time will be shorter,” she explained.

There was a collective sigh of relief along with a few “thank god”s.

“Although he is awake, I don’t think it’s best if you all go in at once since he is very drowsy. He has been asking for a Y/N?” the doctor looked around at you all.

All eyes fell on you. You collected yourself, grabbing your purse and following the doctor down the hall.

“I’ll let you know how he is,” you told everyone before you disappeared past the double doors.

The doctor guided you into a room at the end of the hall. You thanked her quietly and she nodded in acknowledgement, leaving you two alone. Spencer had his eyes closed but his hospital bed was inclined so he was sitting up slightly. You briskly walked over and took the seat right beside him. You took his hand in yours and squeezed it lightly, combing his messy hair out with your fingers.

As you were softly massaging his scalp, you heard a light groan. You retracted your fingers immediately as Spencer began to open his eyes.

Once Spencer took in his surroundings, he quickly sat up completely in bed, letting out a yelp of pain.

“Jo...it was my turn to pick up,” he said frantically.

“Hey, look at me, Spence. It’s okay, she’s at JJ and Will’s. You were shot in the thigh though so you’re not going anywhere. Please lie back down,” you assured him.

He nodded his head, relaxing a bit and looking down at his hands in his lap. He seemed to be processing something in his head.

“You called me ‘Spence’,” he stated.

Shit. That was twice now. It keeps slipping.

“Sorry, I-,” you began to ramble some apology that you didn’t even know where you were going with it. Luckily, he stopped you before you could further embarrass yourself.

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing,” he spoke softly as he looked up at you, tears threatening to fall.

“I was so scared, Y/N,” he sobbed.

You swiftly pulled him into your embrace, tucking his head into your neck as you began to gently stroke his hair again.

“It’s okay, let it out. I can’t imagine what that was like. I’m so sorry you had to go through that but you're safe now, I promise,” you whispered to him.

“I was so afraid I was going to abandon you and Jo again. It hurt worse than the actual bullet,” he muttered into your neck.

You removed your hands from his hair and cupped his cheeks, forcing him to look up at you.

“Spencer Reid, you did not abandon Jo in the first place so there is no ‘again’. Second of all, you would have died a hero saving lives and I would have made sure Jo knew that and she never forgot her Daddy or how much he loved her,” you spoke earnestly, never breaking eye contact.

Spencer’s eyes softened. A second later, his lips were on yours again. This time, however, you didn’t pull away. Life was too short and this was already complicated as is, what’s the harm.

You basked in the familiarity of his lips locking with yours. Once he finally pulled away for air, he rested his forehead against yours.

“Go out with me. A real date. No more college dorm dates with takeout,” he smiled.

“You know you didn’t have to get shot to ask me out, right?” you teased.

“I thought I needed a grand gesture,” he beamed, chucking lightly.

“Yeah, Spence, I’ll go on a date with you.”

His lips found yours once again.

-

“Jo, are you ready?” you called out from the kitchen, packing snacks.

“Mommy, I’m already at the door!” she exclaimed.

Jo was eager to go see her Daddy at the hospital. You would spend the day there until he was discharged and then he would live with you guys for the week. You insisted on being there to take care of him while he was healing. You didn’t want him hobbling around all alone in his apartment.

When you walked out to the front entryway, there was a stack of various toys and books that hadn’t been there when you came down the stairs.

“What is this?” you gestured to the pile, amused.

“Daddy has big boo-boo so he needs stuff to cheer him up,” she stated.

“I don’t think we are going to be able to bring all this. Plus, remember Daddy is coming home with us later today. So here’s what we will do,” you handed Jo her dinosaur backpack, “You pack all the stuff you can fit in this bag that you think Daddy needs right away and the rest of the stuff can wait.”

Jo made quick work of sorting through her massive pile, trying to decide what would make her dad the most happy.

-

“Daddy!” Jo excitedly screamed, running towards the bed.

“Jo!” he returned with the same sentiment.

She was unable to get up on the bed herself so you had to lift her up.

“Remember what I said, careful with Daddy or he won’t get better,” you reminded her.

“You can sit her on my good leg,” Spencer patted his right thigh where you gently set Jo down.

“We brought you loads of stuff, Daddy,” Jo chirped, looking over at you.

You revealed a box of donuts from your bag and the coffee tray you had been holding. You handed him a chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles and Jo a strawberry frosted with sprinkles. The two ‘cheers’ed their donuts before biting into them.

“Jo also brought you some things to cheer you up,” you handed her her backpack.

First, she promptly pulled out a pink Disney princesses band-aid and stuck it on Spencer’s already bandaged thigh.

“You need that so it doesn’t get infected,” she repeated Spencer’s words from when she fell at Rossi’s dinner party.

“Thank you, princess. What would I do without you?” he kissed the top of her head as she rummaged around in her backpack some more.

She set up her five favorite dinosaur toys on his tray table in front of them, glancing up at him for approval.

“Perfect,” he smiled, nodding.

Next, she pulled out a piece of paper that had been colored on.

“Who’s this?” Spencer asked, looking at the three stick figures doodled on the paper.

“That’s you, that’s Mommy, and that’s me,” she pointed to each of the sketches.

“Aw, that one is definitely making the fridge,” you smiled.

Finally, Jo took out her Magic Tree House book that she was currently reading. She needed help with some of the words but either you or Spencer or the both of you would help her read it every night.

“You already finished the last one?” Spencer picked up the new book that was next in the series, examining it and smiling proudly.

“And I didn’t need help with a single word on the last chapter,” Jo beamed.

“You’re so smart,” Spencer kissed her head again, “let’s see how far we can get on this one before we can go home.”

#spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #reid x reader #spencer x reader #cm fanfic #spencer reid #criminal minds

[himbohood]

facedown - @himbohood​

a repost from my previous blog! i’ll be putting my old writings in my queue just so i can get them back on my blog. wanna be added to my tag list? click here!

paring: calum hood / female reader

about: this is based off of an experience i had with an ex-boyfriend and i started thinking about how this would be if i put calum in that memory instead. thus this was created. uni!sos

warnings: smut.

word count: 1688

The days she wasn’t bombarded with work or classes, she usually took up residency on her boyfriend's couch. Calum Hood split rent with three other guys and at this point in their relationship, she had meshed in well with the group. The atmosphere of the small three-bedroom house was more relaxing than any home Y/N had previously been in. With guitars hanging haphazardly on the wall and concert posters pinned up wherever the boys could fit them— this tiny house had become hers as well. 

She sunk comfortably in the soft cushions of the couch, her legs lying lazily across Calum’s lap. Michael, one of the aforementioned roommates, took control of the TV. He switched back and forth between YouTube channels before landing on a let's player of some sort. Y/N briefly overheard something about Overwatch but then quickly tuned out after that. She didn’t entirely know if it was just how Calum looked with the LCD screen shining back on his strong features— but the urge to crawl into his lap got harder to resist. 

Scooting closer each time he laughed along with his friend, Y/N let her hand brush against his chest. She figured Calum knew what she was hinting at because his hand moved dangerously close to the bottom of her fleece shorts. Y/N cursed herself for not just getting up and texting him to follow her back to his room. Though, she figured this was much more fun. Michael was seemingly oblivious of their silent sexual tension. If she wasn’t in such a haze of arousal, she might have joined in. Her mind just kept drifting away from the reality of the moment. The absolute need to be fucked by her boyfriend was the only thing that was important. Flashes of dirty memories ran through her brain and just the thought was enough for Y/N to fill a flutter in her stomach. She would have done anything at this moment for Calum to bend her over the back of this couch and fuck her senselessly. Maybe if she asked nicely, he’d pull her hair or spank her. 

The thoughts her heavily amplified by his beautiful voice booming about whatever the fuck he and Michael were talking about. She didn’t understand how he could be so subtle at rubbing the soft skin of her thigh. How could Calum not break concentration on his conversation as he gave Y/N the smallest amount of stimulation for her problem? She knew he didn’t want to seem rude, but she could tell by the bulge against her legs that he was just as interested. 

“ I think that I’m gonna go and pick up some food— you guys want to come with?” Michael said, finally getting up and heading towards the exit. 

“Nah, we‘ll pick up something later. Thanks, though.” Y/N finally spoke after Calum did, “Yeah, I’m not really that hungry right now.” 

Whenever that door shut, the two of them had the entire house to themselves. She didn’t have any time to blink before Calum snatched her up and pulled her in his lap. Y/N gasped at the sudden sensation and didn’t wait to roughly grind her hips down onto him. He made the prettiest noises and that only made her problem worse. She was sure that at this point he could just kiss her and she would cum. 

Her voice became a sort of wine as she spoke, “ Cal, please touch me.” It was most definitely a beg because she didn’t have time to take things slow. Michael would be back soon and she really wanted the opportunity to ruin her vocal cords screaming Calums name. 

There was a chuckle and then his lips made contact with her skin. They landed on her collarbone, teeth grazing the soft skin and vibrating it as he spoke. “ What’s gotten into you? Thought you were gonna fuck me in front of Mikey or somthin’” As he spoke he made quick work at pushing her shirt just over her breasts. Y/N let out a soft laugh, at his comment— moaning loudly when he bit the skin right above her breasts. “If we don’t hurry up I might have to fuck you while Mikey watches.” 

Calum let out a low groan and quickly wrapped his arms around her midsection. Lifting Y/N he supported her by placing his hands firmly on her ass. He made quick work at getting them back to his room. As soon as her feet touched the ground, Y/N crawled on the bed. Caum watched in awe as she lay on her back and shimmied off her shorts and underwear. With her legs wide open, she was at full display for him. “You expect me not to eat you out when you look that good?” He teased, walking towards her as he pulled off his clothes. “We’ve got plenty of time for that later,” Y/N promised, discarding her shirt and bra. “If you fuck me well enough, I might sit on your face.” Her face was bright pink after speaking, half distracted by Calum hovering over her. 

“I think I can do that.” 

His hands explored everywhere they could. He saved the best for last. He didn’t tease her, figuring that she had already edged herself just from sitting on the couch earlier. His thumb came in contact with her clit and Y/N let out an almost painfully loud moan. She was slick before he even touched her. That didn’t entirely surprise Calum but god was it pride boosting. “You don’t even need me to get you ready, do you?” His words were a soft mumble, catching her lips in a very much needed kiss. He pulled away just for a moment, getting ready to angle himself in— but before he could she spoke. “Cal, fuck me from behind. I want you deep.” 

Y/N didn’t have to ask twice because before she knew it Cal was directing her to turn around. She rested her head on his pillows, eagerly shaking her ass up at him. “Please fuck me, Cal.”

He lined himself up with her entrance, hand moving to brush down her spine as a sort of warning before he pushed in. She let out a loud, gasping-for-air type of breath when he bottomed out inside of her. “Fuck— Cal, baby you’re so big.” She moaned out, pressing back onto him as if to say more. She put her hands behind her back, asking Cal to hold them without even speaking. She didn’t know if it was her previous begging, but Y/N brought that same energy as he pulled her back against his chest. With one hand gripped tightly on her hip and the other grasped around her breast, Calum made quick work in starting his agonizingly slow pace. 

At the mere thought of friction, Y/N’s knees were weak— but now that she was finally getting what she wanted the idea of being quiet was a joke. The slow thrusts of his hips didn’t last long. Y/N figured he was just getting his balance because soon enough both of his calloused hands landed on her hips. He gave her a kiss that almost read farewell before pushing her face down into the pillows. 

“ Mmph— fuck you look so good like this baby,” his voice filled the room with soft, pleasure-filled mumbles. Y/N could only respond in incoherent gasps and mewls, eagerly bouncing back on his cock in desperation. One hand left her hip and the loss of it almost stung, but it went away when that hand traced up her spine and tangled in her hair. The loud noise of his hips snapping against Y/N ass practically filled the tiny house. 

 Her knees were weak and her forehead was covered in sweat. She tried so hard to tell him that she was close, but whenever her words failed her, she was happy that he just knew. Calum fucked her mercilessly into the bed, his hand now finding her clit and rubbing firm calculated circles against it. 

His name was the only thing that she could think as she fell apart. Screaming his name in praise, in thanks, in rejoice as she came around him. She fell from an unbelievable high and only felt it coming back as he focused on his orgasm. 

She could only imagine how his face looked as he fucked her. His soft grunts were perhaps the most beautiful sound in the world, but what was even prettier was what he said next,

“ Baby— fuck, I’m about to cum.”

She hated that he had to pull out, but the empty feeling was almost made better by the warm ropes decorating her back. 

She relaxed on her stomach as Calum lazily brushed a finger through the mess on her back and pressed a firm kiss to her shoulder. 

“Let me get a towel, yeah?”  and with that, he wandered into his ensuite and wasted no time in cleaning Y/N up. Falling to warm up space beside her, Calum eagerly pulled her on his chest. 

They sat for a moment, relaxing in the post-sex high. His hand brushed through her hair, lips leaving kisses across her forehead. She sighed, nuzzling her face against his chest before doing the same to him. Her fingers ran through his hair and her lips littered his skin. It was quiet for a bit— the world didn’t exist… until, well until Micheal made it known that he had been back for around 15 minutes. 

“ Are you guys done fucking yet? I bought you food, so if you’re not done I’m eating it!” His highly annoyed voice boomed through the house which elicited a laugh from both Calum and Y/N.   

“Fuck,” she laughed, “Guess we lost track of time?” 

“I’m gonna be real honest with you, I forgot he was even coming back.” and with that, the only important thing the two laughed together and rolled out of their haze to get dressed and eat the food Micheal had so graciously got them.

#calum hood fic #calum hood smut #calum smut #calum hood x reader #calum hood one shot

[beetlegoose01]

Frostbite (Casetello)

AN: do these two have a ship name? Caseytello? eh whatever it’s casey x donnie and they’re gay

special thanks to cal for reading this for me and saying i should post it <3

There were quite a lot of things Casey Jones loved. Hockey, pizza, riding his motorcycle, video games, beating the crap out of his opponents. Normal teenage stuff. Lately he had been doing the latter, ever since he and April officially joined the 'Unofficial Turtles Team' , helping alongside the teen mutants on patrol. Goofing off with Mikey and Raph were the highlights, but he couldn't deny spending extra time with April was also a benefit. Even if they barely got a single word out- too busy fighting off random mutants scattering the city, it was still nice.

But what wasn't nice, downright unpleasant about patrol...was Donatello. There was an unspoken, mutual loathing that the pair shared that even quick glances at each other led to glaring and arguing. Leaving them together in the same room was never a good idea. Casey hasn't understood why the purple genius was so hostile towards him at first. But the reasons became obvious the first time he caught him staring helplessly at April, fumbling his words and blushing profusely. Not that Casey didn't feel similarly, heck, that was the problem. Both were attracted to April. Obviously Casey had the upper hand, being human. A turtle and a human girl in a relationship was built for disaster.

But their hatred didn't stop there. It wasn't just about April.  Eventually, everything about Donatello annoyed him. His whiny voice, his love for using complicated words to sound superior, soon every little thing bugged him.

Things were easier if the two stayed as far apart as possible.

Of course, fate seemed to work in mysterious ways.

It was starting to get late, the moonlight illuminating the sky. The group stopped on a rooftop, perched by the edge. Leo halted them silently, then turned around.

"Why'd you stop, Fearless?" Raph asked.

"I think we should split up. We'll cover more ground. If you see any sign of trouble, use your T-Phones." said Leo.

"No way dudes!" Mikey squeaked. "I saw this scary movie last night where the team split up! And then..." He paused for dramatic effect. "They all got taken out one by one. Starting with the cute funny one!" He trembled, hiding behind Donnie, who rolled his eyes.

Raph smirked, always prepared for a sassy remark. "Which means, you'll be just fine since you're neither of those."

"Hey!"

"And you'll be in pairs." Leo crossed his arms. "I've got it all planned out. Raph and April. Mikey and me."

"Mikey and I." Donnie corrected under his breath. Casey fought the urge to whack the smart aleck turtle with his hockey stick.

Leo ignored him. "Donnie and Casey-"

Casey involuntary let out a loud groan. Just his luck.

Leo narrowed his blue eyes, unamused. "Something wrong, Jones?"

"Er..." His eyes darted to Donatello, who seemed stoic, but equally frustrated with this predicament. On one hand, he wanted to argue and beg to be with literally anyone else. On the other, he didn't want to deal with the leader in blue getting annoyed with him.  "Nah Leo, that's fine by me. Right, D?"

Donnie huffed. "Yeah, that's alright."

"I think this will be good for you both." April grinned.

"Of course, April." Donnie agreed.

"No problem at all." Casey smiled through gritted teeth. When she turned away, they both shared an equally menacing glare.

"I knew I could count on you two." April smiled softly, though even she didn't look entirely convinced.

This was going to be a long night.

~•~

Turns out, Casey had underestimated the scrawny (ugh, svelte) turtle. In what Donnie lacked in muscle, he gained with his speed, mobility and of course, his mind. It was practically impossible to keep up once Donatello had leaped from the first building, tumbling and landing with ease, while Casey was coughing his lungs out as he ran desperately after the brainy terrapin.

"Okay, now you're just showing off." He panted irritably, nearly collapsing once he finally caught up with him.

"Are you coming or not?" Donnie gave his trademark gap tooth grin as he turned, slowing down.

"I am! You're just moving too fast!" Casey complained. "I thought turtles were supposed to be slow! I didn't even have time to get my grappling hook."

Donnie shrugged, ending the conversation with one simple movement.

They walked side by side, neither wanting to say anything. They both knew it would only end in arguing.

"Can I just say-" Casey started.

"No, you can't."

"I didn't say anything!"

"Exactly."

"Listen, Gap Tooth, I don't like this either!" He flicked a stone off the roof with his shoe. "But we have to ..." He swallowed. "work together, right?"

Donnie said nothing. He looked deep in thought.

"Is it because of April? Because it's not my fault she...y'know likes me more."

At the mention of April, Donnie turned away, eyes flashed with hurt, which only filled Casey with that annoying feeling of guilt.

"It isn't about her."

"Alright." Silence. "Sorry, let's just-" He cleared his throat. "Let's just work together, we don't need to be friends. Just get through the mission. After that, we can go back to hating each other."

"That was...surprisingly mature, Jones. Glad we can agree on something." Donnie quipped. "And for once, you're right. This mission is more important than our petty squabbles. No matter how insufferable you may be."

"Now you're just making up words."

Donnie fought the urge to roll his eyes. "So, that's two more hours of this."

Casey scoffed, but couldn't help but chuckle. Quietly of course. Last thing he wanted was for Donnie to think he was actually amusing.

"So...deal?"

"Deal." Donnie said, then added: "Cave Mouth." Which made Casey shove him lightly.

For a brief moment, they seemed to share a mutual understanding. The silence that followed wasn't awkward or forced, it was comfortable. Well, as comfortable as they could possibly be.

Donnie paused, startled by something. Lifting his bō carefully, he tried to follow whatever the sound was.

"What the-" Casey raised an eyebrow.

"Shh!" He hissed. "Do you hear that?"

"No?" Casey scrunched his nose, listening closely. It sounded like a...buzzing noise? Like a fly or mosquito. Irritating, but not dangerous. "Chill Don, it's just a bug or something."

"No, listen!" The turtle looked frantic and alert.

The buzzing became louder. Then, it was followed by the sound of snapping wood. Deliberate and exact. Casey gulped, taking his own weapon.

A massive shadow flew over their heads and landed in front of them. Donnie yelped in surprise, stumbling forward.

"Ah, shell." He swore, lifting his head to face the hideous insectoid mutant with acid green eyes. Scumbug spread his deformed wings, antenayes raised, prepared to strike.

"Well, I was right. That definitely is a bug. Scumbug! Wicked! This'll be fun!" Casey sneered.

"Which makes no sense, considering stag beetles aren't even bugs! They're insects!" Donnie spun his staff like a propeller, hitting the mutant face on.

"Not the time!" Casey tackled Scumbug, who roared, jostling him aside like a ragdoll. He smacked the floor with a sickening thud, directly on his arm. He fought back a scream of agony.  "Do you- gah- seriously have to be such a know it all, all the time?" He looked at his arm, which currently looked seriously messed up.

Donnie looked affronted. "I am not a know it all!"

"Yes you are!" Another whack of his trusty hockey stick, followed by a knock to the ground, face first. He wiped his mouth from the metallic taste of blood.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you- Donnie, look out!" Casey shrieked, sounding less manly than he intended.

Scumbug, now furious, had efficiently used his enemies' bickering to his advantage. Before he could turn around, a spider web twirled from its appendages binding Donatello to the ground, who kicked and struggled furiously.

The mutant now crouched over the captured turtle, prepared to strike with his signature acid spit.

"Hang on, D! Casey Jones is here to save the day! GOONGALA!" He bellowed, racing towards Scumbug and latching onto him like a demented parasite. It was hardly the most graceful of moves, but it distracted him briefly.

He raised his hockey stick, poking him hard in the eye in an attempt to gouge them. Eyes were sensitive- he remembered Splinter telling him that.

With the extra time, Donnie reached for his bō, ripping the web apart with the extended naginata blade.

Scumbug, now looking more disheveled and horrifically disfigured than normal, retreated blindly into the misty air.

"I didn't need your help." Donnie said bitterly.

"Aw, is that any way to say thank you?" Casey retorted. "I just saved your shell." He poked his plastron roughly. "I think I deserve a little appreciation for my heroism."

"I had it handled."

"Did you? Because you looked just about ready to be eaten by Scumbug."

Donatello scowled, moving closer. "And he got away. So your heroism didn't exactly work, did it?"

"Would you rather have acid stuck to your face?" Casey growled. "You'd look even freakier than you do now. Next time you're a little 'turtle in distress' don't expect me to come save your-"

"I didn't need saving." Their foreheads pressed together, any moment ready to face each other on.

Casey gritted his teeth. "Sure, whatever you say. I didn't help because I actually cared about you or anything."

"Then why did you?" Donnie snapped, pulling away. "You could have left me."

"Because I- you- argh!" Casey felt his temper rising. "Because I'm not a monster, alright? We're a team, and we help each other. That's the deal." He wiped his chapped lips again, the disgusting taste of blood still lingering. He winced, clutching his arm.

"I can patch you up at the lair." Donnie said softly. "It just looks sprained."

"Mm." Casey grumbled, still pissed. Stubbornness was taking over any injury he had. He'd rather have his arm stay at this awkward angle than admit he was hurt in front of his rival. "I'll just wrap it up at home. I'll be fine."

Donnie sighed, raising his palm to his face. "Don't be so stubborn, I can help you."

Casey didn't look convinced.

"To repay the favor?" His warm brown eyes looked surprisingly sincere. "You did help me, after all. I'd probably be toast if you didn't."

Casey snorted. "You got that right."

A beat. Donnie looked unsure, as if he wanted to say something else. But whatever it was, it was holding him back.

"So...we should go back to the lair then?" Casey suggested, easing the awkwardness.

"Huh? Yes, of course. Totally. " Donnie nodded. "Naturally."

"Alright then."

"Jones?"

Casey turned, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"I just wanted to say...thanks."

"Hey, no problem. But don't tell anyone I saved your ass."

"Deal."

~•~

Casey never expected to be sitting in Donnie's lab table, in between Timothy the blob-organ filled mutant and several bunsen burners, but life tended to be weird that way. He also didn’t expect to be pouting on said table like he was at some freaky doctor’s office. The rest of the team returned shortly after them, and seemed surprised that Donnie was actually willing to fix Casey's arm- and not begrudgingly.

Donnie returned with a first aid kit, setting it on the table. He hummed a familiar tune to himself, as if to fill the empty air of any more awkwardness.

"I've seen these before." Casey said, poking the bunsen burner tap, immediately then swatted away by Donatello. "At my school's science lab."

Donnie nodded, rolling up Casey's sleeve to examine his bare arm. Casey flinched, not comfortable with the random act of touching. "Hey don't!"

"Do you want your arm fixed or not?"

"...yeah."

"Then let me work my magic."

Casey frowned, staring at the bottle the turtle was holding. "Your magic looks like antibiotics and advil."

Donnie's lip twitched.

After his arm was treated somewhat, Donnie wrapped him up gently with a clean bandage. The slow movement made his heart race increase every time Donnie's fingertips brushed his arm, but he ignored it.

Don't be weird, Jones.

"That should be good. Don't put any pressure on it." said Donnie, passing him the advil. "And take this, it'll soothe the pain."

Casey pretended to look offended. "Here I thought you were gonna kiss it better."

Donnie rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. "Don't push it, Jones. We aren't there yet."

Casey laughed. "Yet. Thanks for fixin' my arm, D. You...aren't so bad, I guess. But let's go back to hating each other, alright?"

Donnie smirked. "Whatever you say."

#tmnt #teenage muant ninja turtles #donatello #casey jones #caseytello #casetello #do they even have a ship name #enemies to lovers #rivals to lovers #fanfic #tmnt 2012 #i miss them #author is sleep deprived #jonestello #is that their ship name? #they're gay your honor

[rubsjuice]

I present to you: The Spamton Onion - An Informed Character Analysis

These are characters that I observed (or have been suggested to me) as having elements that could inform perception and interpretation of Spamton, from the core themes of their personalities to the way they present themselves, or even their narrative role. More under the cut.

Willy Loman is perhaps the most important character, as Spamton is symbolic of how the capitalist machine isn't kind even to its own faithful cogs, how the American Dream isn't all that it's shaped up to be. Mettaton is there as Spamton copies his actions and his dreams more than anything else; Spamton's dream to achieve stardom, Spamton's self-centered and egomaniacal personality – it's all borrowed from Mettaton, and the game wants you to know this very clearly. The protagonist of Disco Elysium (whose first name is a spoiler, I was told) stays in the intra layer not as indispensable to understand Spamton, but as Further Reading material: he's the perfect mix between disillusioned has-been and absolute failing upwards that can inform Spamton readings very well, especially if you're into more serious/tragic readings. DuBois and Spamton are both their own worst inventions.

Patrick Bateman and Bojack Horseman are there as parallels to his Big Shot years, and how hubris and pride can boil a man down to denial that is so deep not even he can process it. How fame and fortune can make people commit terrible things, just on the fact that it makes them feel like they're above people, and above law. Spamton doesn't have a God complex, however, but he would consider himself more important and more untouchable than other people simply from the fact that he's rich, he's powerful, he's the Salesman of The Year. In a similar vein, Burgerpants shares Spamton's dreams of stardom and the ambitious amorality that comes with it, but at the same time lacks the life experience and the impending sense of doom/lack of time that Spamton has (after all, Burgerpants is like, 19, and Spamton is at the very least 40 years old, if not older; this in turn informs his character and his sense of being a has-been, going through a midlife crisis every day).

Reggie is just there because he's annoying. Look at him go.

Jim Haggerty isn't very important for understanding Spamton but he's good as inspo (and, in turn, that's what most characters who'd be in this layer are tbh); in his show, he undergoes a similar transformation as Spamton does under the premise of working as a public figure and turning his own suffering into a spectacle (much like Spamton turns his own livelyhood into a marketing ploy). Instead of a puppet, he turns into a pig. Instead of the ambitions to achieve freedom that ultimately stab him in the back because he simply does NOT have agency, his hubris about continuing his show instead of fixing his rapidly derailing life is what does him in. Both of them are cautionary tales and both of them are inflicted with the existential horror of failing marriages and they're not doing anything about it. They both caused their own downfalls and rejoice in their own filth.

The Warden is there because he instills a sense of whimsey, much like Spamton. They're cartoonish and silly in the same way. Plus I think big shot spamton would definitely have a him-shaped building in town just like the warden does.

Now we reach the final layer: The puppets. They all represent Spamton's lack of agency and lack of control, but each of them has a slightly different role.

Billy, well. He wants to play a game. Spamton evokes him as his most unsettling aspects, as his mania and desperation and jerky, unnatural movements. It's also a great way to understand that, sometimes, something is speaking through Spamton, rather than censoring him.

Lil Cal is important for his narrative role: he's a Bad Omen. Lil Cal is the representation of evil (or, more realistically, deliberate antagonism), and as such Spamton also presents himself as a Bad Omen, in the sense that he makes it very clear that he's not in control, someone else is, and they can punish him for it. He's a Bad Omen in the same sense someone slipping you a note saying "help" at the cafeteria is a Bad Omen. Lil Cal doesn't have motives of himself, but is simply a form of communicating other people's motives, and while Spamton does have his own, he's not powerful enough to not convey other people's motives as well.

Pinocchio stands as Spamton's hopes and dreams. Despite everything, despite failing upwards and downwards, all he wants is to be a Real Boy. All he wants is to achieve freedom, to reach the Lightners. However what distinguishes him from Pinocchio is what turns him into a real boy: Courage, Sincerity and Generosity.* Spamton has neither of those. He could never be a real boy, because he lacks the things that could prove he was ready to be a real boy. So he never gets to be free of his strings.

This has been the Spamton onion. I'm not sure if it all makes sense, but it's been something I've been thinking for a while and I just wanted to vomit my words over my lunch break. I hope it's been informative, somewhat.

*Footnote: Interestingly enough, three soul colors are very close approximations of these characteristics: Bravery (orange), Integrity (indigo) and Kindness (green). This, of course, means absolutely nothing.

#mafa talks #mafa talks a lot #deltarune meta #deltarune #spamton #character analysis #mafa writes #yeah ill slap the writing tag on this too. i deserve it

[starshipsofstarlord]

Fame With No Shame | Part Three

A/N; I think at most there will be one more part to this series, and that will be the reveal of Luke and the readers relationship to the public. Thankyou for all of the requests for this series, please enjoy xx

Summary; in the midst of an interview, there is talk of (Y/N) dating a member. The interviewer is keen to find who is the lucky gentleman within their ranks, but can Luke remain steady though the enquiries about his girl?

Brushing his hands down his black clothed legs, Luke sat upon the seat, eyes interpreting his composure. His face was slightly flushed, aware that his hair was a bouquet of messy curls, the state of his redress had not gone unnoticed by the hostess nor his curious band members. All were wondering of whom he had hassled sexually with before this set, but nothing was mentioned, at least not yet.

A small part of him wanted to let the world know of his relationship status, and more importantly, whom he was entangled with. But it would all be released in due time, he would just have to remain both vigilant of letting anything slip and patient. The rumours could manage to infuriate and humour him all at once, so many fans had claimed to know the identity of the woman in his life.

There were many suspicions, although they were only proven by the hope and dedication of all kinds of people on sites such as tumblr and wattpad, that his lover that was concealed to their eyes was not a lady at all. It was perceived that it was a bandmate; a dear friend of his, that he was sleeping and taking midnight strolls with.

That of course was not the truth, the shipping had been dragging on for years, he sometimes wished that the guesses could be correct all by their own. (Y/N) however was amused by how much it infuriated him, and all of his frustrations would dissipate at the sound of her glorious laugh, and in the end, all that was left was for him to join in and relax.

Things between them were certainly going good, to say the least. He had never felt so elated to see someone pour themselves a mug of coffee, or tie their shoelaces. It wasn’t hard, and hadn’t been difficult for him to admit the facts – he was in love. If there was any evidence that they existed, he was sure that he had found his soulmate.

She understood not only his emotions, but his springs of motivation, the ideas that would creep in the middle of the night or whilst he was in the bathroom for songs. His process was normal to her, because she experienced the same waves of inspiration, the urge to write what flowed to mind and execute lyrics until they were sure enough ready and sounded right to be released to the rest of the world.

And together, that was like the universe had combined the two creators for a reason, to make a beautiful sound, an eternal symphony that would play on forever and a day. If people knew about them, it could disturb the state of their peace, the security that they found within their relationship. And that would be the most tragic and morbid interference that either of them could ever experience.

Hate online was strong, and (Y/N) suspected that neither of them were prepared to take the mixed responses to their newfound and blooming romance. Each of them individually received the expressions of resenting opinions, through messages, through posts, through the loop of the internet. It was never ending, the trolls were headstrong and stubborn, they didn’t want to be stopped, and any reply that they got in turn only made their day, encouraging them to cackle away at the fact that they drew a celebrity’s attention and time away from more important matters.

“And we’re live.” The hostess of the radio show confirmed, settling more comfortably into her plush, swivel seat, as she set her digging eyes into the men that were seated around the platform of a small, recorded station. “My name is Heidi, and we are here on HotRadio, with the one, the only, Five Seconds of Summer.”

Luke adjusted his headset, leaning closer to the microphone so that he was close enough to allow his reviews and answers be heard better than when he was reclined back, awaiting the start of the recording. “So now tell me boys, how was it working with (Y/N) (L/N) for your new single, Flashes.” He gulped at the mention of her name, this wasn’t the best situation, considering that he could accidentally allow some classified information slip, and spiral through the channels of the web.

“She was amazing!” Michael blazed in with his initial impression of her, a jolly grin spread across his lips and chin. “We’ve been fans of her work for so long, it was a dream to finally work with her.” His hands waved as he spoke, confirming his excitement, although working with (Y/N) had already been and gone.

“Yeah.” Ashton bobbed his head, agreeing with his friend. “She is such a talented woman, we don’t do many collaborations singing with other people, but all four of us can definitely admit that she was such a great sport. She put so much work into the song, from lyrics and notes, there is a bright future ahead of her.”

The boys speaking of her made Luke want to purposely trip in his secrecy, they had no expense from gushing over her in such an idealistic way. However if he were to join in, he’d risk the exposure of the relationship. (Y/N) would be mad at him if he were to do that, so he rubbed his chin, feeling the growing prickles of stubble against his guitar picked hands.

Heidi smiled, they were eager to tell her their what appeared to be honest opinion. Yet there were still more details that she and the fans sought; answers. There were so many questions that were lingering, waiting to be spoken aloud in the recorded air.

“Was there any romance sparked between one of you and (Y/N)? How about you Calum?” It was typical, the enquiries about the song itself, that was supposed to be the main attention of this interview , it wasn’t about love, or feelings or whatever.

The thought that Calum, out of all of them, was the one considered to have gained her affections made Luke bite the inside of his cheek. Sure, Calum was single, but so was he, or at least was in the media’s eyes, and before he met (Y/N).

Luke’s frown was subtle, but it was still there! And everyone was oblivious to his disconcerting expression, all because the spotlight shined on the bassist, and the idea that he, out of all them, was privileged enough to have possibly shared a bed or the exchange of numbers in the static noise of the track.

Cal cleared his throat, ruffling the collar of his shirt, as though there were a reason for him to be fanning himself. “I mean, I’m not one to disclose that personal information.” That son of a bitch, Luke thought. From his response, something had obviously occurred, it was too bland for an answer.

That was until said boy began to laugh, spewing a humoured chuckle from his mouth whilst looking Luke dead in the eyes. The opposing man could only frown, his face hardened by the strong crease that went down the centre of it.

“Too bad she already has a boyfriend.” Michael chipped in, the guitarist’s attitude and statement not only making Luke paranoid, but also worried. What if he were not the only one that had grabbed the affections of (Y/N)?

 To begin with, it was clear that she was a bit of a player, and he had no problem with it, there was nothing wrong at all with a woman embracing her sexuality, it was even kind of sexy. But now they were partners in a relationship, and he could only trust her to be faithful.

Mikey’s words had not only drawn the intrigue of the lead singer, but also Heidi, who was leant forward in her seat, the dimples in her face prominent as she was presenting glee from hearing first time news, that was broadcasting on her radio channel.

“Are we permitted to be told who the lucky gentleman is?” How she hoped that the revelation would be unconcealed during this very interview, personally the woman was curious herself, but also the thought of the views skyrocketing encouraged her desperation for an answer.

Ash smirked, his eyes fluttering through his trio of bandmates, this was certainly entertaining for the rest of them also. Except one from the looks of it, Luke was gnawing on the outer portion of his lip. This was getting to him, just as they wanted. They knew, all along, what was occurring between Luke and the talented lady.

She had been a crush of his for a long time, and it seemed that she shared that affliction of interests, by being attracted to the natural blonde himself. It was noticeable to the boys from the first time that (Y/N) had entered the studio, their eyes navigated to the sight of the other, and their attention had to be drawn for the pair to look away from one another.

“One of us.” The eldest member replied, and Luke realised that in that moment, he had not been as discreet with the entire dating ordeal as he thought he had. They’d quickly realised that there were strings attached when Luke began to miss their nights out clubbing, and said he’d prefer to stay in and watch a movie – alone.

However, it was not a solitary activity, and binging television was not all that the promiscuous man was partaking in. The symptoms that brought light and revelation to Luke and (Y/N)’s involvement was matching marks of red suction bites around the circumferences of their throats, that eventually healed and could be concealed, however the boys could see right through their efforts.

And then there was the undebatable evidence of smeared lipstick scorned across their lips, a shade which consisted perfectly against one another, from nudes to striking reds, the pigment that streaked against Luke’s vigorously hungry lips consisted to be suspiciously similar to the original prominence that was lined and filled on (Y/N)’s own petalled mouth.

“Oh.” It appeared that the prying interviewer had not even put any efforts into hiding her pleasantly condemned grin, every detail that was slipping through the teeth of the men gave her some kind of joy.

She had somehow hit a gold mine with the answers that her pay check curiosity had earned her. There was so much going on behind the scenes that had never been revealed, and it seemed that all would be exposed, on HotRadio! “Are we granted to know which one of you is the lucky man?”

Luke shifted in his chair, gripping onto the arms with his painted nails. He was prepared to hit rock bottom in this deep deep ocean that he had swam himself into, yet a snicker left Cal, bringing all afraid and all too alert attention to him.

“I think not, we can keep a secret for a little longer.” His eyes paced slyly over to Luke, sending him an all knowing wink.

He sighed, he lived to fight another day.

#luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings one shot #luke x reader #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings x you #luke hemmings x oc #luke hemmings imagines #luke hemmings imagine #imagine #imagines #xreader #luke imagine #luke fanfic #luke hemmings fanfic #5sos imgaines #5sos one shot #5sos fic #5 seconds of summer imagine #5sos imagines #5sos imagine

[sdmnluvs]

Home Town Glory- Minishaw

Disclaimer!! I know that Simon is in a very happy relationship with Talia! It’s just for entertainment purposes and to let me practice my writing. This is also posted on my Wattpad!

28 years old and he misses home more than ever. That's why he's walking the streets of Hemel Hempstead at quarter past 11 on a Friday night.

It wasn't his plan when he woke up this morning. But he had fucked up, told Harry he loved him and when Harry just stared at him he fled the flat in record worthy time.

Got back to his own flat with ignoring Harry's missed calls and texts. Grabs a bag and packs a weekends worth of clothes as Jj enters his room confused.

"You alright there Simon?" He asks dumbly as the taller runs to the bathroom to grab his toothbrush. "I-I fucked up, going home for the weekend!" He says, pulls out his phone to call an Uber. He doesn't care if it's expensive, would spend every dime in his bank account if it meant he didn't have to look at the pity his friends would throw him when they found out what he had done.

"Did something happen with Harry? Did you guys break up?" Jj asks shock evident in his voice. Everyone was sure that they were a stable couple. Maybe looks really can be deceiving.

"I need to clear my head for a while Jide, if Harry comes please don't tell him where I am," Simon says before grabbing his bag and leaving Jj standing in bedroom. Heard the door close and the younger doesn't know what to do.

But he listens to what Simon said. When Harry shows up half an hour later with tears in his eyes it takes all of his might to say that he doesn't know where Simon is. Says me might have gone to visit Josh.

It's evil really, Jj decides when Harry leaves his sitting room with a look of determination on his face. He's sending the poor boy on a wild goose chase for what? Jj doesn't even know what happened between the both of them. For all he knows Simon could be in the wrong here. He had said that he fucked up.....

But by the time he comes to the decision that he should ask Harry what happened the brunet is long gone and he curses to himself. Feels even worse when he realizes that Josh will probably send Harry to Tobi's to check, then Tobi will send him to Randys and Randy will send him back to the flat.

Simon calls him 2 hours later. He's sat in his old room and trying not to cry. "So what happened?" Jj never did have the best patience, Simons surprised he's waited this long.

"I overreacted I guess," the blond sighs. "I told Harry that I loved him. He just stared at me for a straight minute. I couldn't deal with it Jide so I ran. I ran as fast and as far away as I could. Sure I only made it about 27 miles away from home but I couldn't deal with the pity when I told you. I just thought, it's been a year and I've loved him for long. But I guess that it was too soon".

Simon explains it all and Jj listens. Doesn't interrupt just let's Simon talk and it feels nice. Once he's finished talking Jj comforts him. Tells him to go for a walk even though it's 8pm and the sun is going to set soon. Also tells him that Harry definitely loves him back. "He was probably shocked Simon. Give him time. Just go relax, hey go to that park you used to drag me to every Sunday!".

And Simon follows his advice. Tells his mum that he's going to pub to see a few of his old friends. He doesn't need her worrying about him anymore than she already is. So he heads out. Goes for a walk around the town.

Meanwhile Jj sighs when he hears the door knock again. Knows that it's either Josh about to give out to him for sending Harry round his when he knew exactly where the blond was because Tobi had already called him and gave out to him. Or it's Harry back, probably just as deflated as he was this morning.

Opens the door and he's not shocked to see Harry stood in front of him. Bit more shocked that Ethan is stood with him. Arm wrapped around the youngers shoulder. He's smiling sadly and Harry's a puddle of tears.

Jj opens the door wider and rushes both of them in. They all sit down on the couch and Harry won't let go of Ethan's arm as he re-tells the story of his day.

"I-I was shocked Jide, I didn't expect him to say it. I called him back, must've called his name 20 times but it was too late. He was gone. Cal wouldn't let me go until I had told him that happened. I never got the chance to tell him that I love him too. I got to yours as fast as I could. Then you told me to go to Josh and he wasn't there.

Freya convinced me to have a cup of tea and some breakfast. I didn't want to tell them why I was there but you know what Freya's like. They gave me some comforting words and then Josh said that he might be at Tobi's. So I went to Tobi's but he wasn't there. I stayed for a while, talked to Tobi to calm down.

Our last resort was that he was at Randys. But he wasn't. Randy made me eat again, told me that he'd probably of gone back to the flat by now. But that I should maybe leave him until tomorrow. I agreed and was heading home but I couldn't face it. The thought that I'd lost Simon forever. Like our relationship had started and ended in my flat.

Ethan was the closest person to me at that stage. Told the taxi driver to turn around...," he trails off tears falling faster and harder. Ethan throws a comforting arm around him and finishes the story for the younger.

"I tried to calm him down but it was no use. That's when I realized that maybe big man knowledge, strength, Integrity would know where Simon is by now!" Ethan says his eyes cold and narrow when he says Integrity and Jj knows that he's in for it.

He loves Simon he really does, he's his best friend but Harry's sat in their living room crying an actual river and Ethan's glaring at him as much as to say "Tell him the truth or else".

"He's away home for the weekend. I'm sorry Harry, I promised him I wouldn't tell you," but Harry isn't even mad. He lets go of Ethan for the first time since he entered the flat and hugs Jj as tightly as he can.

"Jide please, we have to go. I'll do anything, I'll, I'll-"

Jj stops him, the least he can do is drive the three of them to Hertfordshire as an apology to Harry. Even though it's 10pm and he has a meeting at 8am tomorrow. The things he does for his friends.

So here Simon is. Quarter past 11 on a Friday night. He had actually popped into the local pub. Met a few of his old friends and downed 2 pints. Laughed and laughed and laughed as they re-told childhood stories. Listens as they catch him up on everything he had missed the past 8 years not living at home.

Sure his mum had kept him up to date and he had come home every so often but he'd never found the time to catch up with old friends. Looks around the room and wonders if he had never left what would life be like?

Would he be sat here with the same group of friends every Friday night making memories to last a lifetime. Would Jide be KSI or would he be sat here right next to him. Would he of met a nice girl from the town and be married already. Would he of made memories?

Thinks and remembers that he's made memories to last a lifetime. He's met people, he's met his friends, he's met Harry. The love of his life and suddenly it's all too much. The walls of the pub are closing in on him. He thanks them for the laughs and memories but he's gotta go. Promises them that he'll come home again, with Jj this time and they'll make even more memories.

He looks back and smiles seeing them all doubled over in laughter over something one of them had said. He wants to say that he escaped but there was never really anything to escape. Everyone that stayed is happy. They're all content with their lives. And so is he. He took a different route that's all.

Left the pub and heads off in the direction of the park Jj had mentioned. He had wanted to leave it for last. Let's his mind wander as he wanders around the streets.

Passes by a group of teenagers shrieking in laughter, empty bottle of vodka in their hands and he has to smile. Because that used to be him, running through the same streets when he was younger. Drunk, young and free.

He's so engrossed that he almost walks into a woman. She asks if he's lost because she's never seen him around here. He shakes his head, tells her that he's not lost, just wandering around home. She leaves him be and he keeps going.

Arrives at the park and heads straight to the field. Lies down and watches the stars. Let's the day wash over him and he can't help but smile as he remembers the first time he ever went star gazing was with Harry.

Jj knocks on the door. Simons mum opens the door and she's so happy to see Jj. Welcomes him inside but Jj asks if Simons around. She can hear the desperation in his voice and tells him that he went down to the pub to met a few of the lads.

So the 3 of them leave. They enter and nobody bats and eyelid at them. Jj instantly spots the group of people that Simon should be with, it's just, he's nowhere to be seen. Swears under his breath as he approaches the table.

Taps one of the boys on the shoulder and he turns grinning. "When we told Simon to hurry back with you we didn't mean this soon!" The man laughs and stands up to hug Jj.

He laughs weakly "it's really nice to see you James, but do you have any idea where Simon is?". The man now known as James to Harry and Ethan shakes his head. Explains how he left 20 minutes ago, adds that he looked like he had been doing a lot of thinking. Jj thanks him and they leave,

"So we're back to square 1?" Ethan asks as Harry lets a sob rip from his mouth. "This is all my fault, I shouldn't of been such a prick today," he cries as Ethan hugs him.

"It's ok Bog, let's just head back to his, he'll be home-," Jj starts but then stops. He has a shit eating grin on his face. "I know where he is!".

They all pile into Jj's car once again and 5 minutes later they're pulling up to a park. "Simon used to drag me here every Sunday, I told him to visit here when I was talking to him earlier as a joke," Jj explains as they exit the car and head to the field.

And that's where they spot him. Lying in the grass eyes closed and mouth turned upwards in a smile. Harry walks closer as Ethan and Jj hang back.

"Si?" Harry asks shyly and the body shoots up. Looks around and all air leaves his body because Harry is inching closer to him with a nervous smile on his face. Simon can't take it, not whilst he's at home, in his safe place.

"Harry, please not-," but Harry cuts him off. "Simon please, just listen to me I beg. You don't understand what I've done to get here!". So Simon stays quiet.

"Si I was shocked when you told me that you loved me. Ever since I met you I was convinced that I'd never be enough for you. I was just a 17 year old kid with insecurities that would've drowned me when I first met you. But you, as cringy as it sounds you taught me how to love myself. I was finally in the shallow end when I moved in with Cal and Cal and I started drinking a lot, when the drugs started.

But you were there. Every single time I relapsed you where there. On bad nights that I was tempted you made me watch a shitty movie with you. And even though I hate movies I watched them with you. You supported me when I came out. And then you kissed me when we where in Vegas for Jides fight. A week later we had our first date in London and you weren't embarrassed of me. You held my hand as we walked home and you asked me to be your boyfriend and I said yes. Because I loved you. You kept me afloat, Simon I have loved you since I was 18, too young to know what love is as mum always said. But I loved you. And I still do.

And I'm sorry that I left you standing there waiting for an answer today. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that you loved me, you love me just as much as I love you! And I would've been able to tell you all of this this morning but Cal held me back and then Jide sent me on a goose chase like a whole twat.

So I'm sorry Si, I love you. A lot more than the moon and stars combined,". And Simons stood staring at him, tears falling down his face. Because holy fucking shit. Harry loved him as much as he loved Harry. Didn't even think as he tackled him into a hug. Kissed him deeply and had every unspoken word added to it.

And Harry seemed to just know because when they pulled away he hugged him tighter. They turn to their 2 cheering friends before Simon leans down to kiss him again.

Because he had Harry. Harry was his, the love of his life. "I even love you enough for the first time I tell you to be in Hertfordshire," Harry giggles and Simon grins at him. "Hometown glory I guess,". And then Simon kisses him again

#harry lewis #wrotoshaw #simon minter #miniminter #Minishaw #w2s #fanfic #tumblr won’t let me #break up the paragraphs #sorry it’s all a blob

[idmakeitbehave]

This I Know {Spencer x Reader}

Chapter Four

masterlist

series table of contents

summary: a little backstory, a little panic- all in a day’s work

word count: 1.6k

July 2004

“Remind me why the hell we decided to do this in the middle of the summer? I swear it has got to be the hottest day of the year,” you grunted, sweat dripping down your back as you weaved through the hurdles.

“Crime waits for no one,” Mia huffed as she ran alongside you. “Besides, we need to beat Gomez and his squad. Show those boys who’s boss.” 

“I already beat him in hand to hand, what more could he want?”

“I think he needs a little more ass-kicking, take him down a peg,” she said.

A whistle sounded across the yard. “Ladies! Less chit-chat, more laps.”

You exchanged a look with Mia before dashing off to the track, her not far behind you. 

You were halfway through your tactical training at the Academy, and while it was the most difficult thing you had ever done, you had never been more motivated. After finishing your second degree, this one in Behavioral Psychology, you had been trying to plan your next move when you had seen them. There was a killer on the loose a town away from you, one with a penchant for young college students and ritualistic staging. You had been following the murders via the news, simultaneously worried for your own safety and fascinated by the case. A press conference caught your eye where you learned that the BAU was in town- the Behavioral Analysis Unit. You had heard of them of course, who in your field hadn’t? But it wasn’t until you attended a seminar a few months later by the man you had seen on the news, Jason Gideon, that you knew. This was what you were meant to do. You made it your life’s mission to get on that unit, whatever it took. 

Mia was one of the first classmates you met at the Academy, and the two of you had become friends almost instantly. You were paired up for one of the first drills, and you had both reveled in the fact of being the only all-female team to make it through. Your shared drive- that and your love for baking, musicals, and all things ghost related- had bonded you from that moment on. You couldn’t imagine life without her. 

You made it back to the dorm with Mia after a grueling day of defensive drills and scenarios, both drained. Flopping onto the floor beside you, she let out an exhale. “What. the. hell.”

You smirked at the way she had her arm dramatically across her forehead, her legs sticking up on the side of her bed. The feeling was completely mutual.

She propped herself up on her elbow, wiping her hair out of her face. “Aren’t you exhausted?”

“Obviously, Mee.” 

“You don’t look exhausted. You look… psychotic,” she said.

You let out a laugh, rolling your eyes. “If you’re trying to profile me, I think you might be way off.” 

“Hey now,” Mia snickered, kicking you lightly in the shin. “You’re the one who wants to be a profiler. I just want to be on the good old goon squad, busting down doors and shit. I don’t need to know anything about that psychosis crap. But either way you look psychotic.”

You looked down at your sweaty outfit, covered with grass, mud, and other various stains from the day. There was a tear in your pants from when you had tackled the mock-unsub and single-handedly taken him down during a drill, much to Gomez’s dismay. You could feel your hair matted with mud from the takedown, and you saw yourself through Mia’s eyes. The bright smile on your face definitely didn’t match just how beat up and worn out you looked, but you couldn’t seem to keep it off your face. 

“I’m just happy, Mee. This is exactly where I’m supposed to be. Exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.” 

“You’re gonna do great things, buttercup.” Mia lifted a fist out to you, dramatically sighing with the effort. 

You bumped it with yours, that same grin still on your face. “We both are.”

—————

Present Day

You pressed yourself into the corner of your room, arms wrapped tightly around your legs. You could feel a panic attack coming on- your breath was coming out ragged and your vision was blurring. The events of the past few days had finally caught up to you. The compartmentalization that you so often used when things went wrong was failing you. This was just too much, more wild than you had ever had to deal with before.

What was real? Did you even know anymore? More to the point- would you ever know? The possibility that you might never remember threatened to suffocate you.

Spencer came back into the room, taking one look at you and dropping to the floor beside you. “Hey, hey, look at me.”

You started to shake, your chest heaving as you sobbed. “I can’t breathe, Spence. I-I can’t breathe. It hurts.” Hot tears ran down your face and you felt a warm hand on your cheek. 

Spencer whispered your name at first before repeating it more forcefully, turning your face towards him. “Look at me.” 

You were looking right at Spencer, but it was hard to make out his features, your vision still swimming. “It hurts,” you whispered, still gasping for air.

“You’re having a panic attack,” Spencer murmured. “You’re safe, you’re here in our apartment. You’re with me.” He meant well, of course he did, and you were sure that he had used the same words to ground you before, but given the current circumstances, it did little to help you. 

“I-I don’t know you,” you cried, the thought just serving to panic you more. “I don’t know anything.” 

A look of anguish flashed through his eyes, but he concealed it quickly- too quickly for it to be anything but forced, practiced even. “Can you breathe with me? Take a deep breath.” He counted to five, breathing in deeply and motioning for you to do the same. 

You took a shaky breath, your hand gripping the one that Spencer held on your face. You were squeezing it so hard that you were sure he must be in pain, but he made no move to remove his hand from your grasp. He repeated the breaths in and out, and you mirrored him as you tried to control your breathing. 

Spencer wiped the tears from your face as you hiccuped, choking back a sob. “What do you need?”

“I need space,” you gasped, “I need Mee.” 

Spencer nodded, handing you your phone from the bedside table. “Take another breath, angel. Call her. I’ll be right outside.” 

You grabbed your phone from him and nodded your thanks, your breaths slowly becoming steady. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before heading towards the bedroom door. You smiled weakly as he closed the door before dialing a number you had known by heart for the last six years.

“Oh buttercup, I’m so glad to hear from you.” The familiar voice on the other end was so immediately comforting, you heaved a sigh of relief, your arms finally relaxing around your legs.

“Mee,” you cried. “Mee, thank god.” 

“Spencer told me what happened, I was so worried about you. I’m sorry I haven’t called, I wanted to give you your space until you were ready. How are you doing?” 

“You know Spencer?” 

You hadn’t even considered the possibility, these two worlds colliding. They felt like entirely different universes. This somehow made it seem more real. If Mia knew Spencer, it was real. You desperately wanted it to be real. You needed it to be.

Mia let out a sad laugh. “Of course. You haven’t stopped talking about that boy since the day you met him. I had to meet him to give my approval, obviously.”

“Oh Mee, it’s so good to hear your voice. I can’t believe this is happening. What the hell is happening?!” You paused, considering the distance of the past two years. “We’re still friends, right? We still talk? I will never forgive myself if we’re not still friends.”

She scoffed. “Hey now, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. I’m still in the LA field office though, so we don’t see each other very often. But we talk on the phone at least every week. And we visit when we can- I met Spencer one of my first trips out there, right after you started dating.” 

“God. I wish- I wish I remembered anything.”

What had it been like- two of your favorite people meeting? You liked to imagine that it was wonderful, that Mia and Spencer had gotten along straight away. What if you never knew?

“I know, it’s gotta be a lot. I can’t even begin to imagine. But hey- Spencer said you were being your usual badass self when it happened. Not that that surprises me in the least.”

“He said that?”

“Not in so many words, but we all know you’re a badass. Always have been.”

It only took a few minutes of talking with Mia for you to be able to calm down completely. The two of you talked for the better part of an hour, laughing over tales of the Academy and your time together. Mia told you a little bit about what had been happening the last two years, but you were grateful that she kept bringing it back to a time you remembered- a time you knew. The comfort of talking to someone you knew, someone you actually, truly knew, was like no other. You could have cried from the sheer relief of it. 

There was a pause before you spoke again. “Mee? Am I happy? Here, with Spencer? In this life?”

The laugh on the other end was joyous. “Of course, buttercup. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you happier- even that time you kicked Gomez’s ass.” 

 “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”-Jane Austen

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Taglist: @rexorangecouny​ @illuxions-x​ @cal-ifornication​ :)

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #sarasstuff #thisiknow

[teknicianwrites]

Kissing a scar that they got from something traumatic for f!Hawke and Merrill?

Thank you for the lovely prompt! This definitely got away from me, but I think I like it anyway.

@dadrunkwriting

Meredith gave Marinda a last long look before nodding. "I trust we understand each other, Champion." She turned away, calling out to gather the mages and Templars she'd brought and headed back to the Gallows.

Carver glanced back at her and she gave him a sheepish shrug. He rolled his eyes and fell in line with the rest of his Order.

She took a moment to breathe in the cool night air of Hightown, but the normal comforting scent of night-blooming flowers was covered by blood and smoke.

Andraste give me strength.

Cheering erupted as Marinda gingerly walked back into the main hall of the Viscount's keep. Nobles rushed to her side to express their gratitude, touching her, crowding her, blocking her view as she tried to find her lovers in the crowd.

She forced a smile to her face and nodded at whatever Lady de Cerrac said. "If that's the best the Qunari have it's a wonder they're still causing trouble in the north," she replied, with no idea whether it was relevant to the topic. It probably was. If not to de Cerrac then to someone talking at her. The Arishok's body still lay on the ground where he'd fallen, and even the aristocracy of Hightown didn't have that short of an attention span.

Tittering laughter followed her words so it must have been the right thing to say, except it quickly became the wrong thing to say as a strong hand gave her an approving slap on the back. It took every ounce of willpower she had to grin through the fire that lanced through her abdomen for it. The owner of the offending hand grinned back at her underneath a disheveled mustache. "Too right, Champion, too right you are!"

Maker, she had to get out of here. She couldn't pass out in front of everyone, not after the Knight-Commander had given her that title.

She could have cried with relief when Aveline pushed her way through the throng, Merrill trailing close behind and Varric's voice ringing out, "Alright everyone, I know she's impressive but I do believe our Champion has earned her beauty sleep."

Despite the murmurs of disappointment, the crowd parted for the Guard Captain as she led Marinda out into the night. Merrill came to her side, and Marinda clutched at her hand for support.

"Where's Bela?" she asked softly, still forcing herself to walk with an event gait while within sight of the dispersing nobility.

"She skulked away in the commotion," Aveline said, voice hard with disapproval.

Merrill tucked herself closer, pulling Marinda's hand to drape her arm over her shoulder, and Marinda leaned into it gratefully. Her warm body shared much-needed heat after Marinda's recent blood loss."I think the crowd made her nervous. She'll be back. She always comes back."

Aveline shot her a skeptical look, but upon looking over Marinda's increasingly failing attempts to hide her pain, kept her thoughts to herself.

"What did the Knight-Commander want, Chuckles?" Varric asked as they walked through an empty side-street on the way back to her home.

"Oh, you know, the normal things." Marinda attempted a half shrug and choked back a whimper for how it made agony shoot down her side. "The duties of a Champion, my responsibility to the city, she'll throw me in the Gallows if I don't toe the line. All the standard formalities."

Merrill's eyes widened as she turned to her, and Marinda stumbled. "She wouldn't. You saved the city! You can't lock someone up after they saved the city!"

In the privacy of the alley she allowed herself a small groan from the sudden change in angle. Merrill bit her lip apologetically and returned her position at Marinda's side. "She didn't say those exact words, but it was heavily implied."

Aveline frowned. "It may have been bravado, Hawke. She named you Champion herself. Hauling you in now would be a tough sell."

"Red's right," Varric agreed, then hummed thoughtfully. "Still, it wouldn't hurt to ingratiate yourself with the hoity-toity in the coming months." Marinda groaned at the thought and Varric shrugged. "I'm just saying. You get into some weird shit with some weird people. Hightown having your back would be a good position to be in."

"I just saved all their lives! Isn't that enough?" Marinda whined, because if she was whining in annoyance then she wasn't whining in pain.

"With these people? Start going to the dinner parties, Chuckles. Trust me on this."

They reached the front door of her estate and she slumped in defeat. Merrill unlocked it for her and helped her through the threshold. She was immediately greeted by a cold mabari nose against her palm..

"Hey, Cal. It's fine. I'm fine." She gave him a reassuring scratch behind the ear.

Cal whined his disagreement and licked blood from her hand.

"Meserre!" Bodhan peeked his head out from the basement. "You're alright! Is the trouble over?"

"Yes, Bodhan. Everything's fine." Her gut was screaming at her to lie down and she was cold and lightheaded from blood loss, but she was breathing and the house was still standing. That counted as fine, right? "Do we have any elfroot?"

His eyes darted over her bloody and battered form. "I believe so, meserre. Is there anything else you need? Food? A hot bath?"

A hot bath sounded lovely, but she was afraid she would black out and drown in it. Not a very Championly way to die. "Maybe some broth? And water?" She knew she desperately needed fluids.

"Of course, meserre. Orana's down the stairs keeping the boy calm. I'll have her whip something up for you right and proper."

"Thank you."

Merrill scurried off after him, saying she was going to get some bandages, and Marinda was suddenly faced with the prospect of getting to her room.

All she wanted to do was pass out in her bed, but the stairs down from the Viscount's Keep had been bad enough. Stairs going up? She stared at the climb in despair.

Aveline must have seen her face. She held out her hand and, when Marinda moved to take it, gently scooped her up into her arms. Marinda hissed as her middle was jostled, and Maker, if she had the blood for it she would be blushing in humiliation at finding herself in a bridal carry.

"Aveline-" she tried to protest, and Aveline cut her off with a stern glare.

"No, Hawke. Hush. I've got you."

Varric's amused face quickly fell when she didn't put up any more fight. "I'm going to see if I can find Blondie for you."

Marinda shook her head. "He's probably healing people the Qunari hurt. Don't pull him away from that, I'll be fine."

He gave her a dubious look. "All the same. I'll let him know you're hurt and ask him to check on you when he gets a chance."

She was too tired to keep arguing and let herself slump into Aveline's hold.

Aveline carefully carried her upstairs and carefully deposited her on her bed. Cal immediately hopped up to her side, snuffling his concern at her neck.

"No, buddy," she murmured. He whined, but she knew he would get in the way of getting her armor off. "Foot of the bed," she offered in compromise, and he whined again but obeyed.

Merrill came through the door, balancing bandages, rags, a bowl, a cup, and a pitcher in her arms. She must have had Bodahn pile it onto her; there was no way she could have stacked it herself. "I've got everything. Well, not everything, Orana's working on the broth, but everything else. There's elfroot under here somewhere, if I can… oh…" She seemed to realize her predicament. Her arms were so full she had no way to put anything down without dropping it all, and the sloshing from the pitcher told Marinda it was already full.

Aveline came to her rescue, setting the pitcher on the nightstand and helping her unload the rest onto the bed.

"Thank you Aveline! I didn't think that through. I should have let Bodhan help me but poor Sandal was so scared I couldn't bear to pull him away with Orana needing to cook," she rambled anxiously.

"It's fine, Merrill." Aveline gave Marinda a long look. "You'll really be alright? You're not trying to joke away internal bleeding?"

Marinda huffed a soft laugh she immediately regretted. "Everything hurts, but I'm not going to die. I may not have my own ride-along passenger like Anders, but I'm still a healer. I'm not losing any blood. Just need time to make some more."

"I'm trusting you on this, Hawke. You'd better be alive tomorrow," was the stern reply.

Marinda gave a weak smile. "Champion's honor." She gave a weak salute. Did Champions salute? She didn't know. She should have asked Meredith for a handbook. "Go. I know you need to check on your men and get the city to stop being on fire." Marinda watched Aveline's face meander between exasperation and amusement, before finally making the unexpected journey to sincere.

"Thank you. You saved a lot of lives tonight. Even if Hightown forgets that in a month, I won't." Aveline gave her hand a squeeze and looked to Merrill. "Take care of her."

"I will," she promised.

Aveline gave them both a nod and left, pulling the door closed behind her.

Merrill hovered at her side. "Ma vhenan, what do you need?"

"Water. Please."

Merrill helped her drink, then gave her some elfroot to help with the pain. Marinda chewed on it, ignoring the bitter taste as Merrill carefully helped her out of her ruined armor. Her lover was gentle, but everything hurt and Merrill apologized for every wince and gasp.

"Creators…" Merrill stared at the fresh scar on her stomach.

"Fuck," Marinda agreed, looking down at herself.

She'd known it was bad. The Arishok had run her completely through and pinned her to the wall of the Keep. But even with dried blood obscuring it, Marinda felt light-headed to see just how much of her torso had been rent apart.

Merrill took an unsteady breath and dipped a clean rag into the bowl of water, gently washing the blood away to reveal the full extent of the scar. Her hand shook as she wet the rag again, moving to clean a smaller wound at Marinda's shoulder.

Marinda tore her gaze from the scar and looked at Merrill's face to find her eyes welling with tears. Marinda gently caught her wrist and pulled the cloth away, setting it aside and entwining their fingers with her other hand.

"I'm ok, Merrill. I'll be ok."

Merrill tightened her grip like her hand was a lifeline. "You almost died."

The Arishok whirled on her, and she ducked away from his axe and stumbled against the wall.

She should have been watching the sword.

"I'm alive. I'm here."

"You almost died. You were on the ground and you weren't moving and there was so much blood… Creators, there was so much blood."

Agony liked fire burned in her gut, clear through her back. She heard metal scrape against stone as she looked down at the weapon piercing her torso.

"I'm here."

"You were already so hurt and then-"

Her vision blurred as she looked up at his snear.

"Your role is realized."

"Shhhh."

"You shouldn't have done it. I didn't teach you just to watch it kill you. You almost died-"

This was how she was going to die. She stared into his eyes and distantly heard someone scream her name. She turned toward the sound and saw Bela, restrained by two Qunari, frantically trying to break free.

Bela….

"I couldn't let him take her."

She was dying, but she wasn't dead yet. And she wouldn't let him have her.

"I know. I know, ma vhenan. But I thought I lost you. I thought I killed you."

With a cry of rage and pain, she ripped the power of her own lifeblood from her wound, and boiled his blood in his veins.

"You saved me."

"Merrill no, there's too many people-"

Marinda turned Merrill's hands over and pushed back her sleeves, and traced the fresh scars from where she had used her own blood to keep Marinda's in her body.

"I can only slow the bleeding, I can't close the wound. Heal yourself, vhenan."

"That was so dangerous, love. All of the nobility could have seen."

"Merrill…"

Merrill laughed through her sobs. "You started it. You lost so much blood they would have thought it was yours."

"I can't lose you. Heal yourself or I'll bleed myself dry, I won't watch you die-"

Marinda kissed her left wrist, then her right, feeling each scar beneath her lips that had saved her life.

"I can't."

"You can."

She kissed them again, and a third time for good measure, and it wasn't until she tasted saltwater that she realized she was crying.

Merrill's gaze was resolute. Marinda had no mana left, and she couldn't use her own blood to stop the bleeding. Merrill was offering her own.

Her throat was closing up, but she made herself speak. "I can't lose you either, love. You're my heart too. You and Bela."

As Varric and Bela distracted the crowd and Aveline used her own body to shield them from sight, Marinda tentatively reached for the pull of Merrill's heart. It wasn't Marinda's blood and she couldn't call on Joy this way, but she was still a healer. Ignoring the pains that weren't threatening her life, she mended back arteries and organs and flesh. She was used to the warmth of Joy, or the soothing cool of creationism, or even the steady burn of Justice, but this felt raw. Primal.

Merrill took a hand back to cup Marinda's cheek. "We're quite the pair, aren't we?"

With careful attention to Merrill's pulse, she healed as much and as quickly as she dared, increasingly aware she was twice a maleficar in the Viscount's throne room. She didn't think she'd have the strength to run.

Marinda smiled and pulled her close. "Absolute disasters."

Confident that if she died tonight it wouldn't be from this wound, she made a last small pull on Merrill and sealed the bleeding at her wrists.

They both cried, delayed terror finally safe to be expressed, and then they kept crying, in relief and disbelief that they had survived and were free.

When they finally calmed, Marinda kissed her, tasting salt and lyrium and blood.

"I love you, Merrill."

"I love you too."

Merrill finished cleaning her and carefully wrapped the cuts and scrapes that hadn't been healed. Orana came by with the broth, and Merrill helped her drink it. She gave her more elfroot to chew as she changed out of her own bloodied clothes, and poured her some more water to wash away the taste.

She helped Marinda lie down and kissed her brow. "Sleep, vhenan. I'm sure Anders will be by tomorrow, and you'll want to be rested for that. If Varric told him what happened we're probably in for a scolding."

Marinda chuckled and closed her eyes. Merrill put out the lights and snuggled into her shoulder, and Cal crawled along the bed to curl up at her other side.

She was alive. Kirkwall was still standing. She was its Champion, whatever that meant. Merrill was with her, and though she didn't know where Isabela had gone, she knew she was free.

Marinda slept.

#Teknicianfic #Dadwc #Hawke/merrill #dragon age fanfiction #Potatowitch #Thank you for the lovely prompt! #It didn't at all go where I was expecting but I'm ok with it

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

I didn’t remember the exact words I used in the request😂, but I thank for not deleting the translator’s history (I always use it to check that my sentence makes sense) 😅🤦 I wrote: “Ok, as I love the angst even though it hurts, after the end of the Onyx season I need drama. He could request that Vinca seriously injure MC to force her to kneel and Onyx arrives at that moment and sees her injured bleeding. Thank you” Thanks again❤

Warning: Mentions of injury.

…

You’re alone, again. Alone with Vinca, right after she dragged you away. Her expression is, for once, carefully blank. A far cry from her cocky smirk, dangerous edge, and intimidating presence. She still towers over you, nails digging into the skin of your arm, keeping you in place. Her gaze is still intense and powerful, hard like ice, too cold, too sharp, too deep. But it doesn’t have the same effect it usually does, like it’s muffled, like you are facing not the almighty Pride but the shadow she casts.

She almost seems resigned. Tired.

“You really think you’re something special, don’t you?” She murmurs. The knifes adorning her dress glint under the lights, blinding you this close to her. Her voice falls over you like a heavy blanket and you find yourself incapable of ignoring her. “That you can swoop in and save Onyx, just like that? As if this is a fairytale and you are its heroine?” Her lips peel back into a silent snarl. Every word courses through your body like lighting, and you take a second to wonder how you ended up like this, slumped in her hands as if you were a broken marionette. You should be doing more than this. You should be fighting the very universe for Onyx.

Instead you gaze up at Vinca’s eyes, and feel miserable.

“Do you seriously think you matter that much?” She continues. “Don’t be ridiculous… the only one who knows what Onyx really needs is me, her sister. And believe me when I say… she’d be better off without you.”

Green eyes as clear and pure as life itself. A smile as sweet as your favorite dessert. Her melodic voice and its alluring accent, ringing inside your dreams and hopes and future. Her warm touch and comforting embrace.

You scowl up at Vinca, still miserable, hurt by her words, but refusing to back down. So what if you were in over your head? What if you were tricked in the beginning? What if you had to endure demons and magic and mind-reading? Your emotions and feelings were still true. You should – no, you would fight the very universe for Onyx. You shouldn’t hesitate.

So Vinca knows what’s best? You can only think of one thing in response to that, after recalling long nights with Onyx, her nostalgic whispers of a better time: bullshit.

“Say what you will, Vinca, but I won’t kneel.”

Vinca grumbles. Pierces you with another half-hearted glare. “All this fighting makes me sick. Doesn’t it tire you, too? Don’t you want it to be over?” She urges, tightening her grip over your arm, pushing you down, down, down. “Don’t you want her to be free?”

“She will, but not because of you.”

She dodges your punch with barely any effort, expression tight with fury. She doesn’t retaliate when you pounce on her, attempting to knock her down, to land a single kick, to show her how wrong she is.

She groans with frustration with every attempt you make, bristling.

“You can’t say I didn’t try.” She hisses, and suddenly Pride is back at the next blink. Her gaze burns your very soul with its sudden intensity, and she dances out of your reach. She’s clearly toying with you, like a cat with its prey, knowing it has the upper-hand and allowing the prey to believe it has a chance at all.

It feels like that when Vinca suddenly switches to offense and you see you never had a chance at all, no matter how good you’ve gotten at fighting. It’s the same overwhelming feeling of helplessness that convinced you to leave med school, only a hundred times stronger.  You can’t land a punch, straining to keep up with her, while Vinca has enough time to flick several knifes at you, each drawing blood. You must have a dozen or so wounds at this point, if not more, and they only increase with each passing second. Eventually, your defenses fall – you are too tired – and Vinca manages to grab a handful of your hair, a sick, almost maniac smirk on her face. She smashes your head against the nearest wall at the next second. Pain explodes inside your skull, throbbing, overpowering everything else. Dazed, you try to recover, try to defend yourself, but a knee collides against your side with the strength of a raging bull and you can’t help but double over, trying not to fall. Vinca finishes your pitiable attempt with a clean hit to your exposed nape. You collapse at her feet with a groan.

“I’ll make you regret everything, Victoria.” You can barely make out her voice thanks to the ringing in your ears. You can barely see how she drops down in front of you, everything is too blurry. There’s something glinting by her hand… one of her knifes?

You shudder, trying to escape, but you’re still too disoriented and Vinca is too fast. She hums a lazy tune, as if she’s in no hurry, and you hiss when you feel how she grabs your shirt – the shirt Onyx spent so long working on – and pulls you upwards, moving your body as she pleases. You try to wriggle out, try to fight how she bends your knees and forces your gaze downwards, but she’s stronger.

You choke out a strangled gasp. Try to push her away with increasing desperation, then cry out thanks to a sudden, sharp, stinging pain in your arm… there’s no doubt Vinca just cut you, and deep. Warmth floods your arm as blood flows out. You blink down at it, trying to get your eyes to focus, to assess the wound.

But it’s over. You’re kneeling.

“How does it feel, Victoria? Still think you’re the heroine?” Vinca asks, toying with yet another knife. It hovers just over your exposed stomach.

You push her away, trembling. “Leave me alone.”

Vinca looks at you with disgust. “You need to learn.”

But before she can get any closer, there’s a blur of golden. Vinca lets out a surprised yelp, and suddenly Onyx is there, standing where Vinca had been, green eyes wide with worry as she takes you in.

“Your arm – Victoria, your arm.” She whispers, hands hovering over your skin as if she’s afraid to touch. “B-breathe, Victoria. I’m here. I’m here.”

“About time you showed up.” Vinca snorts somewhere to your right, sounding vaguely amused. Onyx barely gives her a glare. “Looks like your oh so wonderful girlfriend failed, Onyx. How does that make you feel?”

Onyx grits her teeth. Continues to ignore her in favor of reaping some of her clothes, trying to tend to your wound. Your senses are returning.

“That’s enough, Vinca!” Someone – Wrath, you realize with a relieved smile – barks. “Don’t move.”

“You just like making everything more difficult, don’t you?”

There’s a growl. Demons pour out of the shadows like rabid dogs, snapping to attention at Vinca’s command. You see Cal drawing closer to you, giving you a worried glance that barely lasts a second.

“We need to go.” He informs you, shooting and kicking any demon that gets close enough.

“Right! Right.” Onyx replies, but she’s pale. Her hands are shaking over your arm, taking in the hundred cuts you are sporting. “Don’t leave me, Victoria.” She murmurs. “Please, don’t close your eyes.”

“I’m okay. I’m okay. I didn’t… I didn’t lose too much blood.” But you definitely have a concussion. Your ears are still ringing, and the world spins when Onyx carefully helps you up. Seeing how pained she is makes you want to scream. This wasn’t supposed to happen – maybe Vinca was right, you do want to be some kind of heroine and save Onyx from everything that ever burdened her. You should have stalled. Done something else.

And Onyx looks so scared. God, so, so scared. It’s not fair to her.

Not for the first time, you curse Vinca, Dorran, and every single demon you’ve ever come across.

#Anonymous #answered #lovestruck #sin with me #onyx x mc #lovestruck onyx #onyx wren #lovestruck swm #swm #light angst #tw injury

[allsassnoclass]

Hi M! Can I please request "an actual open honest conversation" + "falling asleep over skype or chat" with Cashton? 💞 -blackbutterfliescal💛

alrighty here you go @blackbutterfliescal

Ashton's face is half-obscured when Calum calls him, shadows flickering over him from the street lights he keeps passing under and beanie flattening his hair so his curls fall further into his eyes than usual.

"Hey," Ashton says, adjusting one of his earbuds.  "What's up?"

"I could've waited to call," Calum says.  "I didn't know you were still out."

"I'm just coming back from the library," Ashton says.  "Besides, I always want to talk to you, and I'll be back at the apartment in no time."

"What were you doing in the library at three in the morning?"

"I had a paper due tomorrow.  It's not great, but it's good enough that I can leave the edits for the morning."

"Oh," Calum says.  "You should probably go to bed, then, if you're going to get up to edit."

"Not tired yet," Ashton replies automatically.  "Besides, I want to talk to you.  What's up?"

Calum shifts, trying to get comfortable under the covers and still be able to see the screen.  He misses Ashton's face, more than he conceivably should given how often they snapchat and FaceTime.

"Nothing much," he says eventually, once he's decided that laying on his side is the best option.

"Are you going to keep bullshitting me?  Because this is the latest you've asked to call and I know that something's been bothering you.  If you want to talk around it, we can, but I don't think you would've called me at three in the morning if that's the case."

Calum sighs, but he expected this.  Ashton knows him too well to allow him to get away with lying about how he's been doing.

"I feel really fucking shitty," he says and then, to his great embarrassment, immediately starts crying.

The worst thing is that he never cries.  Michael can get teary-eyed over those sad dog commercials and Luke sniffles at half the Disney movies he watches, but the last time Calum cried was when he broke his leg as a kid.  It hurt like hell and he thought he would never get to play soccer again until his mom corrected that assumption.

"Woah, hey," Ashton says gently.  "It's alright, Cal.  Whatever it is, you'll get through it."

Calum shakes his head.

"Remember to breathe," Ashton says, and Calum obediently forces air back into his lungs.  On camera, Ashton enters his apartment and flicks on the light.

"I d-don't want to be here," Calum sobs.  "I hate school, I'm f-failing half my classes, I have no friends, I don't--I just want to be back home, with you and Michael and Luke again.  I miss my family.  I miss my house.  I miss just--sitting in the back yard with you doing nothing, or going to get fries late at night because we didn’t want to go home, or any of those ridiculous adventures you dragged me on.”

He takes another shaky breath, swiping at his eyes.  It does nothing to stop the flow of tears.

“Cal, it’s okay,” Ashton tries desperately.

“It’s not!  You don’t understand.  You’ve never had an issue making friends.  You’ve always known what you want to do with your life and you’ve never gotten anything less than a B.  I have nothing.”

“I thought you get along with the soccer team.”

Calum rolls his eyes, even though Ashton probably can’t see it in the darkness of his room.

“They don’t hate me, but I’m not friends with any of them.  The only reason I have their numbers is because it’s on the team roster.  It’s not like we’re getting lunch or forming a study group of anything.”

Calum didn’t have a friend until he had Michael, and he didn’t really have friends plural until Luke and Ashton came into the picture.  He was terrified coming to college without any of them, but part of him had still hoped that his fear would be unfounded.

“What about your roommate?” Ashton asks.  “I thought you two were okay.”

“I haven’t seen him for the past five days,” Calum says.  “He texts me to let me know he’s staying over at his girlfriend’s, but that’s it.  I should have gone to your school.  At least then I wouldn’t be miserable.”

“Calum--”

“I know, I know.”

“You can’t choose your school because of me,” Ashton says gently.  “My university doesn’t have the program you wanted and it’s too far away for your family to visit for a weekend.  You wouldn’t have been happy.  It probably would’ve led to us fighting.”

Calum rolls his eyes again, because he knows that.  Everyone under the sun told him that he shouldn’t choose his school based on a high school romance, regardless of the fact that said romance is with Ashton, the love of his life.  Luke and Michael ignored everyone who said that and now Calum gets to see all of their instagram pictures and snapchat updates, both of them looking perfectly content and utterly in love.

Maybe he should’ve gone to school with them.  If he hadn’t gotten a soccer scholarship to his current school, he probably would have tried to scrape up the money to and wouldn’t feel so fucking lonely all the time.  He already did two years of being without Ashton since he graduated before them, and it was bearable with his two best friends still by his side.  Without any of them he feels untethered, adrift amidst an ocean with a storm brewing on the horizon and no lifejackets in sight.

“I miss you,” Calum says.

“I know, sweetheart,” Ashton says.  He’s in his own bedroom now, phone propped up in his desk.

Calum misses him so much he aches with it.

“What’s going on with your classes?” Ashton asks.  “You haven’t said anything about failing them before.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Calum pouts.  Ashton sighs.  “Look, they just suck, okay?  I’m behind.  Nothing makes sense.  The teachers are mean and the classmates are mean and I don’t fucking understand anything.”

“Have you been going to class?”

Calum scrubs a hand over his face, hating this conversation more and more as it continues.  Ashton can judge the answer by his silence, and he knows that it’s not the one he should be giving.

“You can’t learn if you don’t go to class, and your professors are going to be more willing to work with you if they see you making an effort.”

“I know.”

“Okay, okay,” Ashton says gently.  “I know you do, Cal, but that’s the only advice I have.  Can you talk to a TA or go to some office hours?”

Calum shrugs.

“When do you have class tomorrow?”

“Eight,” Calum says.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Ashton hums in sympathy, “and you’re still awake?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Ashton hums again.

“I’m going to call you tomorrow to be sure you’re headed over,” he says.

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Ashton says.  “I like talking to you in the morning, anyway.  It’s a good start.”

Calum buries his face in his pillow.

“What?” Ashton asks.

“Everyone is going to judge me,” Calum mumbles, moving his face out of the pillow just enough for Ashton to be able to understand what he’s saying and for him to get some oxygen, because watching him suffocate on a video call would probably be traumatic for Ashton.

“They won’t,” Ashton says definitively.  “They have their own shit to worry about.  Half of them are probably in the same boat, anyway.”

Calum hums.

“You know, I thought I was going to fail some of my classes at midterms my first semester.  I barely managed to scrape them all up to a B and save my scholarship.”

“What?”  Calum frowns, but when he looks at his phone Ashton doesn’t seem like he’s lying.  “You never said anything.”

Ashton shrugs.

“I didn’t want you to worry, I guess.  It was hard enough being away from everyone, and when we talked I wanted to be able to enjoy it instead of making us both stress.  I think part of me also thought I had to like… justify why I went so far away, I guess.  Like if I had been having a bad time it would’ve just proven that I should’ve gone to community college like everyone was expecting.  Everyone made sacrifices to get me here.  I didn’t want that to be in vain.”

Ashton has always acted like he has to do everything himself.  It took a long time to get him to open up when they first became friends, but Calum has always tried to give him endless support.

“What I’m trying to say is that you’re not a failure for how you’re feeling right now, or anything like that,” Ashton says.  “You’ve only been at college for a few weeks.  Everyone struggles a little to adjust, even if it doesn’t seem like it.”

Ashton may be right, but that doesn’t necessarily tell Calum how to fix this.

“If you put in the work, it’s still plenty early enough to get your grades up to passing,” Ashton says.  “And if you still despise all of your classes by the end of the semester, you can talk to your advisor about switching majors.  They might be able to point you towards something that you’d enjoy learning about more.  Your career center might have one of those tests you can take that tell you what fields you should go into, too.  As for the friend thing, maybe start with the soccer team?  You’re a fucking delight, Calum.  Once people realize that, you’ll make friends, but you have to encourage them to get close enough.  Maybe you could ask about a team dinner at a dining hall.  Hell, maybe you could ask your neighbor on the floor if they want to go get dinner.  The worst that can happen is they say no, and that’s their loss.”

“Okay,” Calum says quietly.  “It’s hard, though.”

Even thinking about approaching someone is making his palms sweat.  He’s not as shy as he used to be, Michael and Luke and Ashton all bolstering his confidence since they became friends, but it’s a lot easier when they’re with him instead of over an hour away.

“I know it is,” Ashton says.  “You can do it, though.  I know you can.”

Calum hums.

“What can I do?” Ashton asks.  “How can I help right now?”

Asking Ashton to skip his classes tomorrow and make the drive to stay with him for a bit is unreasonable, and Calum wants to do this without resorting to any unreasonable whining.  Even though Ashton said he’s not a failure for how he’s feeling, he’s going to feel like one if he doesn’t manage to get through this.

“I should probably go to bed,” Calum says.

“Are you going to be able to get to sleep?”

He doesn’t answer right away, because he’s pretty sure that as soon as they hang up he’s going to start crying again or toss and turn until his alarm goes off or Ashton calls again to get him to class.

“Cal?”

“Probably not.”

“Do you want me to keep talking?  Or maybe you could play some music to help you relax more?”

“Can you keep talking?” Calum asks.  He doesn’t say I miss you again, because that would be redundant, but he’s pretty sure Ashton hears it, anyway.  “You could read a phone book if you want, I just want to hear your voice.”

Ashton hums, riffling through various books on his desk.

“You could read your essay,” Calum says.  “You don’t have to talk to me very long, just a little bit more, then maybe stay on as you get ready for bed.”

“You’re sure you want to hear about how Shakespeare uses the family as a microcosm of society?”

“Yeah, that’ll put me right to sleep,” he snorts.  Ashton gives him a look that makes Calum smile for what feels like the first time tonight.

“Okay, buckle up,” Ashton says.  “This is a riveting essay.  This essay could win me awards.”

“You said it’s bad earlier.”

“I said it’s not great, but it will be once I edit a bit.  As a stem major you have forfeited your right to judge.”

Calum rolls his eyes and snuggles deeper under the covers.  Ashton clears his throat and begins reading, voice even and gentle.  Calum lets the words wash over him and tries to get his muscles to relax, sinking further into his shitty dorm mattress.  Somewhere between Ashton’s explanations about the rottenness of Denmark relating directly to the unraveling of the ruling family and Ashton thinking quietly out loud as he switches words around in his edits, Calum falls asleep.

#my writing #cashton #this is from the first week in november #trying to empty my inbox of the prompts in it #I have 5 others? I think? #anyway how about college aus. I do quite a few college aus #this was either going to be a confession of love or hurt/comfort #and I went with hurt/comfort