#and i dont wanna buy one for myself

[eccentricverbicide]

what do I gotta do to get one of those chocolate gift baskets on valentines day? get a man??? ew

#i just want a gift basket #and no questions from mum #and i dont wanna buy one for myself #i could but how sad is that

[eerna]

Internet popular things in Greece I thought were gonna be overrated but absolutely weren't

1) cats

2) oranges

#the cats are SO DIFFERENT HERE. their FACES ARE SO LONG AND WISE. they are SO BIG. their muscles are ENORMOUS. #and there is SOOO MANY OF THEM.... I come from a catfriendly island myself but NOTHING like this #EVERYONE IN ATHENS HAD CUTE HOMEMADE SHELTERS FOR STRAYS OR AT LEAST FOOD AT THE DOOR #and the oranges #that one was like “wtf do you mean oranges are tastier in greece. they are oranges” but. it is so true #they are soooo fragnant and i dont even wanna talk abt the amount pf portokalopita ive consumed over the past 10 days #i buy a piece and eat it for 3 days bc they are ENORMOUS and swimming in syrup and i get satisfied from like 5 bites #all in all. 5 days left. but i dont wanna go home i am having so much fun this is so fun #eernatalk

[puppyeared]

If I close my eyes and concentrate realllyyy hard I can pretend im in my animal crossing room

#im in need of a change I don’t like the way im living rn.. a lot of my belongings were picked out for me #by people who thought their way of doing things was better and Ive had to find workarounds my whole life bc of how I live differently #Ive never thought of myself as someone who cares abt how their room looks. but i want it to have things I like even if its just preference #Ive thought abt it for a while and I dont think Im picky I just dont like it when ppl buy me things expecting me to use it the way they #expect me to.. I just end up with a lot of crap that I feel too guilty throwing away just bc someone thought of me #the only way I can describe my taste is that I know what I’ll like when I see it.. if I can clearly see myself making the most out of it #if I constantly have to use workarounds just to use smth you decided for me im not gonna wanna use it unless I have to #literally i could not be bothered to pull out a notebook and write down important information until I got a blues clues notebook #because I liked it and it made it fun for me to whip out that I actually wanna use it. yknow #so rn im trying to get a drafting table because the one that came with my loft bed is ass and I cant cut my prints on it #I end up cutting on the floor and my back hurts if I do it too long.. and I wanna get a bookshelf for my closet and a bench for my bag #things Ill look at and want to use because I already knew how I wanted to use it and just do it without thinking too hard #yapping #diary

[bunnihearted]

.

#1st ​my sister was passive aggressive bc i was boiling pasta when she wanted to make her dinner #so she slammed stuff nd chopped veggies aggressively #nd i felt my heart rate spike nd my body go tense nd i always get clumsy nd drop things nd hurt myself when i get that way #but they think i deserve feeling awful bc of mistakes in the past so i cant ask them to stop #i've been walking around w lots of heavy things nd im barely keeping it together #nd i got so mad bc she wouldnt stop so i started slamming the cabinets nd then left when i was done #then my mom nd other sister got home nd i just wanted to ask my mom smth #when i open my door my other sister goes 'omfg already?' #'immediately when we get home i never get a break. it's almost disgusting' #i just got so.. i realized how pathetic nd childish i am so i just went into my room #but then apparently my sister said to mom that *i* was the only one being passive aggressive #so she comes in to talk when i was having my dinner so i said that i plz just wnna eat my dinner #she didnt know nd she's never cared but i wanted to hurt myself so badly i was struggling not to #but then she started screaming at me for being childish nd passive aggressive nd that i never do anything #she left my room. she still talks to my sisters so i know it's onlg me shes sick of #idk.. today is bad bc i cant talk to her nd i dont have ANYONE else to talk to im all alone #and now i barely even wanna go outside my room bc apparently my family thinks i wnna mess w them just for going to the bathroom lmao #i hate myself so much. im so pathetic. im 25yrs old living at home being a burden #nd im just a pathetic nd childish person. i 'need' to talk nd vent nd rant nd #like if i buy some things i have these need to like do a mini haul or if i get books from the library #i wnna show my mom what books i got #it's so childish. i do feel bad for my mom to have to deal w me nd my annoying personality #why cant i jusy be normal. no wonder why i can never keep friends or my family doesnt wnna talk to me. everything abt me fkn sucks #anyway im just feeling so bad and so alone bc my moms mad at me so now i have no one to talk to

[nomaishuttle]

i want rhe potato sooooo bad rn

#i think i will gt silly and buy myself stuff t make porkchops nd mashed potatos and mushrooms..n if there r leftover porkchops Which there #fs will be since im the only one thatll be eating them afaik. bc hal is jewish and one of our roommates doesnt eat meat and rhenother well #idk if he likes my cooking. so idk.. #ill offer perchance... #so ill get porkchops and mashed potato mix Bc im lazy and dont wanna make my own mashed potatos and ill get EL MUSHROOM!!! itll be sosososo #good... #and ill also get hotdogs and chili and preshredded cheese. thatll be good food for a while.... yayyy yayyyy okie !! #n that shouldnt be too expensive idt...

[walterfartzroy]

i know nobody in my classes, don't talk to the people in my lunch, and the building is hot as balls. it is SO OVER.

#tallorambles #like srsly idk what im gonna do...... #idk #i m too scared to talk to people and im just. AHHH. #idk hopefully people approach me instead of the other way around i dont wanna #start conversation #im trying to buy merch of stuff i like as a conversation starter #OH!! #i ordered some stuff to make myself hlm charms and stuff #ordered some little tiny meat cleaver charms and some chicken ones. #and shrinky dink paper to make the son's product so i can make one for him #was thinking about making his purple and green but now i think ill just #do blue and white and green. #the product charms will be enough purple and green #was gonna have them say “DEAD MEAT” for Biker's #“GET A GRIP” for the son because. duh #unm... still havent decided what im gonna do for jacket though. #IDK!!!!!!? #masked maniac seems stupid #but #i mean #what else could i do #chicken man

[risingsunresistance]

i have GOT to figure out how to commission people without being forced to personally hand over my legal info, my Mental Problems will not let me do that

#i wanna commission that artist so bad oh my god i fell in love with the colors so fast #please. please barry and scarf Please #i commissioned a buddy of mine by buying something off their steam wishlist JHDJDJ #sadly that wont work for most ppl bc most ppl would actually like cash to spend #i can like. order groceries to your house or something. hand over ur address **]^=%*^]+]{** #dude i hats p*yp*l please give me an I AM TRANS AND IN DANGER option #augh. #i also dont know how to do comms in terms of like. refs to hand over n stuff. or what i want #im not specific. if i was i would draw it myself bc i'd already have a good idea in my head #one day i'll get stuff sorted out but today is probably not that day 😔 #chat

[zoppzoop]

GAAHAHHHHH

#venting in the tags #maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much #but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn #im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but #i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me #feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it. #plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel #like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went #back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening #and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just #crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and #usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine. #i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better #but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that #plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut #the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad #'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like #shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those #fuck you you bitch #i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep #tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less #ps. note to anyone reading the tags #im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.

[britneyshakespeare]

genuinely also curious from other ppl who have drawn from live models. whenever i talk about this experience ppl ask me if the models were all attractive and young and in-shape. in my figure drawing class only two of the regular models could somewhat fit that description. most of them were middle-aged or older people of ordinary (but diverse) proportions. like my experience may not be representative but i find it curious that ppl hear about modelling for a drawing class and wonder if that's like a hot 20-something job. it doesn't seem to be lol

#this is ok to reblog btw i wanna start a discussion #text post #reblog bait #life drawing #figure drawing #like i would be willing to bet there's some body discrimination in some places #where they might have a wider selection of ppl willing to work? #i DONT know anything about working as a model or how ppl get into it or do it steadily on the side #it does seem like an interesting gig for sure. not one i'd wanna get into myself but i'd love to hear abt it from someone who does it #or just observations from other ppl who have taken drawing classes w live models #in my experience (admittedly limited) of looking at reference websites of nude figures... some of them are more 'young and hot' #which kinda DOES NOT surprise me. bc they want ppl to BUY permission to use those photos as drawing references #and perhaps ppl are willing to lay down more money for pretty people? idk. or again it could just be a hiring preference by photographers #could be a multitude of factors. #but it's kind of unnecessary bc in order to learn the fundamentals of drawing realistic bodies u gotta draw a lot of them #u have to see different positions and different features and different shapes and overall different ppl #i miss drawing from live models. most of all for the gestural sessions. those were REALLY fun #very satisfying as warm-up exercises. quick and fast-paced and spontaneous. you cant get that at home

[vjonk]

i havent really been drawing at all for a bit now, but i have been crafting :)

lots of photos under the cut vvvvv

gnomes:

continued my marionette fursona project from last year:

(i still need to make the wooden cross thingy and string the doll up)

linocut:

crochet bunnies:

#crafting #crochet #gnomes #bnnuy #fursona #furry sfw #the gnomes were for a christmas market thing and i also made some for my relatives on my mother's side #the marionette doll is hugely inspired/based on/copied from a furry marionette doll that went viral on tiktok last year #since that tiktok furry doesnt/didnt have any sort of tutorial i had to work out alot of the process myself which took a while lol #i also got into ghost last year and finally decided to try a bit of linocut printing/cutting again :) #and a couple of weeks ago i got rly into crocheting and made a bunch of granny square swatches and those two bunnies #i also wanna make a granny square blanket but i havent decided on a design yet since there are alot of granny square designs i wanna make #but they dont all fit together thematically #so instead of making a decision i made the two bunnies #the smaller one was the first one and i ran out of the multicolored sock yarn towards the end as you can see lol #the second bunny i made with much larger yarn than what they used in the pattern and if id had followed the pattern i dont think id have ha #enough yarn and i didnt wanna buy more yarn for just the bunny so i tried downsizing the pattern #which is probably part of why it looks quite wonky #other than my less than stellar sewing job lol #tbh amigurumi type patterns are more boring than granny squares in terms of stitch variety (so. many. single crochets.) #but there are more full amigurumi type projects i wanna do compared to granny square projects since im not interested in anything made of #granny squares other than like blankets #and a whole blanket of a decent size is also alot of yarn #and i dont wanna use scratchy but cheap acrylic yarn for a blanket so my color options are currently a bit limited since i dont wanna buy #any online (atleast for now) #anyways i also made some cardweaving patterns for bookmark ribbons for fanfic bookbinding but im rly procrastinating that #im just not rly ready yet for the frustrations that i had with cardweaving a year ago

[vanyafresita]

WWGRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHH <- it wants to buy a secondhand book that is on sale, but it already has several books to-read right there in its bookshelf

#okay imma sound insane for a moment but bear with me #ive been avoiding the lord of the rings movies since i was like 14 cuz i wanted to read the books first #but then i never fucking did I KNOOOOOW OKAY every single person ive met friends professors and randoms tell me i should read the books !!! #and a few weeks ago a friend was like #if the lord of the rings books seem a big intimidating you should try reading the hobbit first its a light read and will get u in the mood #and today i was casually checking for 2nd hand books of le petit prince in french bcs thats the type of person i am #(<- collects the same book in different languages) #and suddently i saw on sale the hobbit book and im soooooo *explodes* #I NEED ITBSO BADLY BUT I HAVE MY BOOKSHELF RIGHT NEXT TO ME WITH AROUND 20 BOOKS I HAVE YET TO READ #/AND/ THREE BOOKS I STARTED AND HAVENT FINISHED YET #SOMEONE KILLLL MMEEEEEEE #''just watch the movies they are well adapted'' #what if i told you i'd rather kill myself #i already hate coraline as it is YES THE MOVIE IT FUCKING SUCKS THE BOOK IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITES AND THE MOVIE MESSED IT SO BAD #I COUDL WRITE A WHOLE ESSAY ON WHY IT SUCKED the animation and technique was cool i dont have a problem w that THE STORY THO- !!!!!! #anyways the thing with me is that i usually prefer reading books first and then MAYBE checking visual adaptations #cuz i like when my brain gets to imagine things i hate being given everything I WANNA MAKE A MOVIE IN MY HEAD FIRST !!!! #so yeah i will suffer for some more time until i finish reading my to-read pile of books and then i'll continue buying books #sorry for being insane tee hee #vanya strawberry flavored

[kingbiwing]

me saying “i spent 350€ on cocaine in 30 days" is actually just a statistical error.

i spent 70€ within the first 21 days.

the 4 grams i got within the past 9 days are outliers and should not have been counted.

#for ppl who dont use euros #1 EUR (€) is equal to 1.09 USD ($) / 1.46 CAD ($) / 0.88 GBP (£) #meaning that 70 EUR (€) is equal to 76.12 USD ($) / 101.76 CAD ($) / 61.49 GBP (£) #and fucking 350 EUR (€) is equal to 380.64 USD ($) / 508.78 CAD ($) / 307.37 GBP (£) #yes i just spent 10 mins converting all that to distract myself from using the 0.1g i wanna keep for tmrw what r u gonna do #since i'll be going to bed in one to three hours (depending on when it wears off) i think 'tomorrow' works #considering i used 1.9 grams in maybe 30? hours last time i shouldnt be so surprised that i just had 0.9 in 10 #yet here i am #surprised pikachu's twin #at this point im just gonna buy in bulk #my plug sells for 70 a gram for lower amounts but if you get 10 then it plummets down to 48 per g #anyways #tw drugs #tw drug use #tw drug abuse #tw drug addiction #i am very much not an addict but better be safe that sorry #tw cocaine #tw coke

[ferdydurke]

to the weed post: try mushroom microdosing you can literally pick them up in a forest… just do your research!!! they helped with my depression

Ohh yes ive been thinking of trying that for a while bc i think itd really help my deal unfortunately ive never been motivated enough to actively seek em out esp since i can just bother a buddy to go thru the whole garish affair of having to know where weed is from for me...

#ask #well. Theoretically i know a guy who grows em but id feel kinda rude asking since we met thru dnd #so i dont wanna be like oh youre my dealer now. #but maybe if i ever manage to run something for him again i will broach the subject... #i dont have any faith in myself finding any wild ones. i live on the outskirts but its still a major city where i live #and i am too lazy to organize a trip to go look #my best bet would be to buy a growing kittttt but id enjoy havin a job to be able to semi sustainably finance that #which is not happening this year #well a lot of words to say that im lazy but thank you anon i will keep that in the back of my mind

[shakestheclown]

i feel like killing myself does anyone else feel like killing themselves

#i wish i could just live alone lmao #i need to eat regularly but i cant make food for myself after work w/o my little brother asking me to make him something else too #which isnt the worst thing but hes 20 he could use the oven literally anytime but he refuses to even try #and my time before+after work is so limited i dont feel like cooking a bunch of extra food for somebody who couldve done it hours ago #and then when i try to plan meals out for my family either he'd rather go to sleep or my mom (knows im cooking and then) leaves the house #AND they both get mad and offended if i order food just for myself BUT ALSO if i order for me+my brother he refuses to eat anything besides #mcdonalds which i hate like. i cant win and im just so sick of being alive #on the one hand my brother would never eat if i didnt make him food/buy him food but on the other hand at what point does it stop being my #responsibility... i'm tired i just wanna live in a world where i only have to look after myself and not worry abt everyone hating me #regardless nothing is appetizing to me anymore and i never have time to eat anyway not to mention money like im just so sick of being alive #[liza minelli cackle]

[kimmkitsuragi]

i finally understand the temptation of buying a beverage

#i mean i love drinking tea all the time but u dont necessarily buy that everyday u know #u can just do it yourself instead of buying it from a cafe #but this one.... i tried to look for the recipe but it looks like this one place just made it up and it's so. mmmmhhh #so will i be buying an overpriced drink the first thing tmrw morning before i go sit in my language class? yes #my friend bought that one during one of our lotr days this week and she was like omg check this out and let me taste it #it was so good i bought it for myself the next day #and since that day im like....... i can almost taste it rn....... a phantom taste in my mouth........... i need it............. #etc etc and hi btw if anyone is still reading #i didnt stop here that much this whole week and honestly i probably will continue that if i can help it :> #i need to do stuff which i still didnt do this week bc like. i was having a silly time #which good for me!! but like. can u please do stuff atp im just 🧍‍♂️ we kinda have to u know #it feels kinda bad to put it off all the time too #i wont get into the existential crisis of it all yet again we've been over this #but also im so not over it at all. so #action plan and actually execute it girl. please. i will have to ask for letters from some of my instructors so like #i dont wanna be like hahahahahaahha aahhah i kinda didnt do anything in the meantime lol :D #not the greatest motivation btw i know just. anyway #life update kinda but make it weird. lol #🗒

[bunnyb34r]

I need to get another crab or two for Gurkle since it doesnt look like Scupa made it through his molt (it's been over a month... im scared to sift through the substrate for his remains/shell) but I dont wanna feed the crab trade and my adhd/depression are like no ❤️ and my anxiety is like GURKLE NEEDS FRIENDS

Even though he never really was a sociable crab like from the start sggdgdgd i mean he broke out of his tank twice the first week I had him and when he was in the tank with Scupa and Speedy he was like AHHHHHHHHHHHH DONT LOOK AT MEE! 😬

So idk man I can't get anyone new til I find scupa('s shell) bc if he is alive/his remains are down there I don't want the new ones eating him... and then I gotta add new substrate and augh it's just so much shit

#and i cant bring myself to check the tank no matter how hard i try im like fuck i dont wanna do this #i dont want to confirm it i dont want to see his remains if theyre there and if theyre not then Gurkle was The Killer #bc uh speedy was cannibalized 😬 bc i was afraid to look and thought he was taking a long molt... #im gonna miss him a lot he was my favorite 😭 when im sure sure he's gone im gonna make a post of my fav #pics of him bc i have a lot and i did that with the speedster when i was sure sure 😔 i dont wanna #im so tired of grieving man like that makes 10 loved ones gone in 4 years like fuck man #i know that seven is a great age for hermit crabs since most in captivity are in such shit conditions they #only live months and that this shows my love and care for them but i miss them so much i have dreams ab speedy a lot :'') #anyway Speedy was 6 when he passed and Scupa is/was 7 and 1/2 #i remember telling my dr ab how old they were a few months ago and she was like what the fuck?? #theyve been recorded to make it to 30 in captivity... i was hoping maybe the party boys could be some of em #marquilla #the party boys #i feel like so much anxiety that i need to get gurkle friends so he's not lonely but also anxiety ab buying crabs #bc theyre essentially stolen from beaches and thats fucked up but like do i let gurkle be solo?? do i give in? idk man #and we keep talking ab getting another kitty so ours isnt lonely since her sister passed a few months back but #every time we ask her she starts twitching sggdgdgdgd which she does when shes upset so we take that as a no #shes like no new kitty. only friend. #they werent close in the slightest wgdggdgdgd but still they spent the past 14 years together so thats hard