#and i havent been drinking since new years anyway | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jaemified · 6 months

Text

I COULD NEVER LIE TO YOU.

“maybe i finally understood why you were the way you were. or maybe you just never tried to understand me.”

☆ pairing ; toxic bf lee chan x fem reader

☆ genre ; hurt, ANGST, no comfort, toxic relationship, y/n vents but she has no one, slightly suggestive content

☆ warnings ; swearing, drinking, implied substance abuse, mentions of cheating and sex, y/ns insecure af (and only cz he made her that way), chans a gaslight and manipulator but also very possessive !!

☆ wordcount ; 0.9k

☆ synopsis ; youve been struggling with a toxic relationship for years now, but you had no one to tell that to, or anyone thatd believe you at least. so while your boyfriend slips out for the night to god knows where, you use this time to write down and express everything youve bottled up all this time.

☆ kona speaks ! - i think its funny how i always start with swearing in cw when its not anywhere near the worst thing in the story LMAOAOAOA anyway sorry i havent uploaded in FOREVER.. college is so hard (+i love my new format! all my drafts from the past 2 months are written like this:))

!disclaimer!, this is a pure work of fiction and is not in any way related to chan and his personality! purely for entertainment purposes only, and for me to express some thoughts :)

READ BELOW THE CUT

OCTOBER 31, 2023

you had left me on my own yet again. its not like i had any true friends left to be with anyway, after you scared them all off, that is.

who knows where you couldve gone.

no, the real you.

my sweet, sweet channie i fell in love with all those years ago.

where could you have gone?

maybe i wasnt good enough, maybe i wasnt pretty enough.

or maybe you werent understanding enough.

i always thought it was me, but maybe it was you all this time.

i like to think back at when we were last happy, god. that mustve been ages ago, just about.

it was.. my 16th birthday?

-my 16th birthday-

it was.. the day we had to put my dog down. my puppy since i was young. i remember it all clearly now.

i was..

-i was..-

we, we were 17.

mmm, my dog was probably my best friend. the realest one in a while.

i remember how you were there for me, even took me to my favorite donut shop to distract me while you tried so hard to make me laugh.

it worked.

i wish you were still you when we were young.

my sweet channie.

where could you have gone?

i could care less about your whereabouts.

i could care less about how you told me i was lying and that you knew i loved you whenever i tried expressing how i felt about us now.

but maybe i just want to be loved again.

maybe i just want to feel something again.

and i know it cant be with you.

i remember the last time you brought me out we were at mingyus halloween party last year.

nobody could find you, so i went to look for you myself.

i noticed your location was still shared with me, and not any of your friends.

so i tracked you to our car.

-our-

i tracked you to your car.

(since nothing that was yours was mine anyway)

and there you were.

fucking some random girl in the backseat.

that was the last day i saw any of my friends.

you never let me out again.

“you cant go, youll just be in my way.” you said before you left for soonyoungs christmas party.

“you cant go, i cant bare to see you hurt again.” you told me before i was about to leave to my own birthday party planned by my friends.

“you cant go, youll just play victim in front of all my friends and cry about how i fucked another girl.” you told me before you left a few hours ago.

i never know with you. but, i know deep down you care.

somewhere.

its always how y/n cant go here, y/n cant do this. or, shes too busy, we have something planned, shes not home.

even in the way you always spoke over me i knew you were just trying to speak for me.

but what about you?

why cant i have a say in anything you do? why do i get everything taken from me? why did you scare off all my friends and even make your friends hate me too?

you always came home high or on something whenever a different girl each time, dropped you off after you came back from a different party.

i never missed the way theyd look at me.

as if you said something about me.

because you know i never forget the look on someones face

it wasnt till later when i found out from wonwoo that everything you did to me, you told those girls thats what i did to you.

i learned to be quiet though.

i learned to sit there and smile, and just take it.

there was nothing i could do though, theres nothing that couldve changed your actions.

i mean, i cant control you.

so why can you control me?

the channie i knew from when we were 20 wouldve consoled me and been there for me.

the channie i knew from when we were 15 wouldve just laughed about how mr seo accidentally buzzed his head in the boys locker room.

the channie i knew from when we first met in grade school wouldnt even have thought about doing half the things you do now.

so where did we go wrong?

i still think about that.

was it, when we hit puberty?

was it, when we moved out?

was it, when we graduated?

our first date?

the day i found out you cheated?

y/n scoffed as she looked at the giant brown teddy bear in the corner of the room that chan had won for her on their first date.

she let out an annoyed sigh, thinking back, looking back at whatever point in time that couldve even reflected a glimpse of this change in him.

it was too subtle, but too sudden, for her to even remember.

she took a sip of her ginger ale before picking up her pen and scribbling some more in her diary that only she had the key to.

who knows what he’d do if he saw all the things she said about him.

you really werent much help.

nevertheless, i still love you.

i really fucking love you.

i know you do too.

i know a part of you inside still cares for me.

i could even cry thinking about it.

yeah, i realize i dont get out much.

but you never hurt me.

physically, at least.

the emotional damage is beyond repair though.

but i know theres still a bit of the you from our youth left.

i see it in the way you look at me.

no matter how mad,

how upset,

how happy,

how sad you were,

whether you were high,

whether you were drunk,

even when we were younger too.

you always looked at me the same.

that softened gaze and warm eyes.

the eyes never change. the eyes dont lie.

i mean, you could deny it (which id only laugh if you tried), but your eyes tell.

maybe thats why im still holding on.

maybe im just waiting for the boy i first fell in love with to randomly come back.

the chances are slim.

but i still hope.

im holding on.

by a thread, at least.

not like you’d let me leave anyway.

i could say how theres still love left within us

probably, somewhere

but when was the last time we were genuinely happy?

what do you get out of this?

because it isnt happiness. it cant be. you wouldnt be here if you were.

we’re both miserable. i see it and feel it.

it’s like, im just here for you.

i can understand the pressure though.

everyone would ask “how did you make it through college?” “how did you make it through high school?”

they dont understand though. you kinda made me

-you kinda made me-

they dont understand though.

i mean,

maybe i finally understood why you were the way you were

or maybe you just never tried to understand me.

i could tell you all of these things.

but i couldnt.

because i could never ‘lie’ to you.

94 notes · View notes

surreal-duck · 27 days

Text

screw it. midoyuzu sdv au (very long bullet point post warning in advance)

midori inherits his late grandpa's farm. parents' greengrocers shop in the city used to get a good chunk of their crops from there til his passing and the farm was since abandoned

kanata is definitely handling the fishing shop. though he spends more time in the water puka pukaing than actually fishing and manning the store but its fine she manages somehow. when midori gets the fishing rod kanata just straight up pops outta to water to give him the rod and floats away 👍 souma helps out there also

chiaki owns the saloon and bartends even if he does Not drink himself and the only thing that ever plays on tv are tokusatsu shows

as for the others i havent thought abt as much and subject to change. kuro blacksmith with his apprentice tetora maybe . nagisa the museum and library curator (and by extension i think itd be really funny if ibara was a joja executive. mostly to keep an eye on nagisa but also keeping the yzib hostility). eichi is the mayor though keito his vice mayor does most of everything and his boyfriend wataru organizes the town events and such like the valley fair etc!! natsume is the forest wizard w his apprentice sora and tsumugi comes by weekly in that traveling cart thing. madara owns the ranch probably.

everybody else is probably just normal townsfolk, among others hajime and hinata take care of the towns plants n stuff!! tatsumi priest, mayoi is half shadow person and hangs out in the sewer (of which noritama at some point explore together and shinobu befriends and invites to visit the surface). i said i didnt think about this much but thats a lie at this point. mika stays in an atelier in the forest (owned by shu whos in the city but does visit on occassion) to cultivate his own art, still best buds with arashi. jun koga adonis and maybe hiiro part of the adventurers guild, trick5tar are their own lil band!!

some charas r not present most of the time or yet like tori who is off at uni w his longtime academic rival and childhood friend and also now roommate tsukasa. their presence is very important for later trust me. rich family rivalry still remains here (along with military camp Because)

due to tori being at uni and learning independence yuzuru is off of his usual butler work for a while and working in the general store owned by the himemiyas! partly to pass the time partly encouraged to find something new to do outside of his servant duties. he calls and nags at tori regularly to make sure hes fine and such

the request board outside of the store is always a good source for side jobs and one day a request for foraged spring onions is pinned up with a terrifying drawing scribbled on it. midoris head over heels Immediately and she already has a good amount to spare so why not take it

hes probably a week into living in the valley already? while yuzuru had just started working over at the store therefore she wasnt aware of this yuzuru fushimi and finds the very one while looking for who put up the request!! the master artist + fan dynamic goes from then on

other than the usual chitchats and more requests with encouraged atrocious drawings accompanying them, been thinking a good amount of the specific town events that happen through the year!! other misc things are various quests and errands from each of the characters, like helping mika gather cloth or hajime requesting various flowers to brighten up the town

Y1 Spring: egg festival, noritama hanging out, shinobu sweeping the egg hunt; flower dance , as they havent gotten to know each other to well enough to actually dance (just like in the game) (haley please. anyways) its mostly just small talk and maybe including some other side pairings i like djdhhfjdj chiaki with a suspiciously soaked kanata and hina dragging off tetsu

Y1 Summer: acquiring the rusty key from nagisa, noritama sewer exploration and befriending mayoi; luau, nothing special particularly for this one; dance of the moonlight jellies, from here yuzuru and midori get a lot closer playing in the sand and just getting along (a bit like siosai marina)!! probably some background drop for the both of them like takamine gramps' farm and yuzurus actual role as a butler while telling him about tori as well dkhdhdjs. they spot the rare green jellyfish together here too

Y1 Autumn (yeah im calling it autumn sue me): valley fair commences, led by everyones own wataru whos hopping here and there somehow managing three attractions at once. yuzuru obliterates the shooting game; spirits eve, chiaki is desperately being clingy out of fear. just more shenanigans in this one

Y1 Winter: festival of ice!! i kinda want to recreate the snow bunny/cute critter scene in jingle bells here, while the fishing contest isnt even a contest at all except between souma and kanata; feast of the winter star ill probably keep somewhat similar to that in the recent luck fest campaign gift exchange!! midori -> hajime and yuzuru -> kanata at the very least. just good vibes all around. community centre would also be finished by then so while joja closes, ibara ends up assisting at the museum w nagisa instead jshshdh

Y2 Spring: only thing of note is that This flower dance they do get to dance together!! 👍 had to get those hearts up beforehand sjhdhdjshd midori at this point fully realized he really does like yuzuru, but kind of the calm before the summer storms

Y2 Summer: gets a bit (a lot) more complicated from here. yuzuru receives word from tori that he'll be visiting from midsummer til the beginning of autumn, and coincidentally tsukasa is tagging along to meet up with his pen pal and friend sora!! bickering the entire way there and due to circumstances yuzurus hosting tsukasa as well in the end, having to share toris room with him aksjdhjwjs

tori gets introduced to midori. the famed young master of midoris crush and this random farmer boy tori had heard so much about for some reason. midoris rather intimidated in the end but it ends up not Horribly to say the least. didnt quite help how tori had noticed how yuzuru softened up even just a bit when interacting with him. sora as well finally meets tsukasa and "the torikun he's heard so much about through tsukasas letters" 🎉 toris awfully smug and tsukasa tries to salvage it saying he was badmouthing him the whole time (not completely a lie but definitely not completely the truth either. dork)

with toris arrival inevitably comes yuzurus duties as a butler, its plain to see his priorities and out of consideration midori backs off a bit. she thought he'd only have to keep his distance until tori's gone back but little did she know toris main reason for coming not only was to assess how yuzurus faring (well and to meet eichi again) but had planned on bringing yuzuru back with him too to which yuzuru of course though not without feeling a tinge of pain for a reason unknown to him agrees to it

midori hears this from tsukasa, how he didnt think yuzuru would stay in town for much longer. and of course midori ended up pretty devastated at the news but who is he to stop yuzuru from leaving? in the end yuzuru would all but abandon his duties, and after all that same diligence and devotion is what midori had fallen for in the first place. if this short year really is all he'd get to spend with him then at the very least she'll have to make the most of what time they have left

the moonlight jellies come around again, probably one of the last times they both thought they'd be able to spend together and went off with just the two of them. a bit of an awkward air around them, yuzuru comments on how toris been complaining about the sand and other attempts at casual small talk as usual but its painfully obvious theres still that tense atmosphere

midori finally asks if yuzurus really leaving after all, to which she got a yes. midori simply nods and had long since accepted that inevitability, and already resolved that when the time comes to put an end to his feelings and get rejected properly. and so he confesses, and while saying she didnt need yuzuru to give him any proper answer in return, all yuzuru could really say was an "i'm sorry" while finally realizing what that awful ache that has been eating at him the entire time was. even if he did realize he felt the same, no matter how much he wanted to say it back theyve both resigned to the fact that its not something that could or would really ever happen between them

once the jellies have all left, their parting was pretty awkward, with that one goodbye feeling a lot like their last. tori notices something off about yuzuru and that something had probably happened between them, but didnt pay it much thought until a while later

yuzurus made more mistakes than whats normal, miscategorizing the stock or putting salt in his coffee, tori and tsukasa are both shocked and tried to pry it out of him but hes a brick wall that wont budge even a bit. it was only when midori came around for his usual errands and groceries that tori could note how distant and awkward theyre both being and that slight bit of hurt behind yuzurus all perfect mask

after much uncomfortable tension and quietly longing gazes enough is enough amd tori eventually confronts him, that while he did say yuzuru could come back to the city asks him if thats really what he wanted. and of course, all hes ever wanted or rather, knew how to want was to be able to serve tori to the best of his ability and really theres no other reason to stay anyways. even more frustrated now tori brings up midori, if he really wont regret leaving things like that when theyll surely drift apart to the point of no return if he keeps it up

argues that whatever was between him and midori has nothing to do with it!! tori is Mad and says if yuzuru is hiding behind his role to run away from the depths of his own feelings hes being a freaking idiot. eventually tori calms down and while he did want yuzuru to come, never wanted him to tear himself apart so much and that he didnt need to sacrifice his desires or getting close to anyone else for his sake, and how before being a servant yuzuru is his family as well and he just wants him to be happy too. then asks one last time if leaving the valley really what he wanted

yuzuru finally thinks it over again and apologizes first. for letting himself get so caught up and carried away for even daring to get close to someone else (tori glares daggers at him. he stops) and affirms that while he did wish to stay, theres still nothing more important to him than tori and his wellbeing and even should he open up and find more people in his life its not gonna change that fact

toris finally satisfied, reminding him again that even if he were to run off to be with some farmer boy hed still be his butler and that he wishes them the best. then proceeds to grab the bouquet from over the counter, shove it into yuzurus hands and lock him out of the store until he has a proper talk with midori. yuzuru tries to argue but it all goes one ear and out the other with tori he is Not gonna let him back inside until then

eventually gives in and goes looking for midori. he asks all around town and seems to just miss him each time, til eventually it starts pouring and into a pretty hard rain. at this point all he could rly focus on though was wanting to see him so pushes on until running into her taking shelter in the forest. yuzuru is Soaked and disheveled and with the wind and rain the bouquet is stripped down to only a few of its flowers left but he does not care at this point

midori is understandably shocked and tries to dry him off with what he had, lending her jacket and asking what he was doing out in the rain like that. well with yuzuru only being able to think about wanting to meet him had completely ignored the rain and brushes it off saying there was something more important he wanted to say

even knowing that he'd (somewhat) rejected midori before, asks if he could give him a proper response this time if midori would give him another chance. she agrees, yuzuru lets him know he wont be going back to the city after all to midoris surprise. goes on that before he knew it midori had become important to him as well and that he truly does adore him, and if his feelings havent changed would like to court him properly. midoris just processing the entire thing before crying. never thought his feelings would be reciprocated and between sobs hugs him. rain clears up, a nice rainbow arches over and while midori accepts what was left of the bouquet they almost had a moment until yuzuru starts sneezing. cue them running back to the store before he gets sick

while yuzurus taking care of himself it leaves midori and tori in the store together. tori gives her a bit of a shovel talk and if he dared do anything to hurt yuzuru he could have his entire farm shut down. and asks to take care of yuzuru for him too. they do talk a bit and end up getting to know each other a bit more before tori and tsukasas impending departure

once midori leaves, tsukasa, having seen the whole conversation, asks tori if hes really okay with it and while tori cant say hes absolutely happy is glad someone cherishes yuzuru just as much. and even if he is a bit lonely will always have tsukasa anyways half as a tease and half being genuine

Y2 Autumn: tori and tsukasa leave the valley, promising to come back next year!! theres a lot more ive planned out from this point out but i am keeping it to myself for now. or maybe forever it depends 👍 my apologies if youve read this far you deserve a medal thank you for listening to my silly rambling 🏅

theres some other things like mini chara arcs/episodes and such (or stuff like specific "heart events" of a sort) i thought abt but among them is tatsumi and mayoi meeting and [omitted] or tetoras apprenticeship under kuro, or shus visit to observe mikas progress and [omitted], and specifically a certain trks episode also

#if you saw me post this earlier no you did not. misclick before i finished it and had to rewrite it damn #pretty self indulgent if that wasnt obvious enough LMAO kindaa wanted to explore their charas a bit too #duck rants about something #summer went on for awfully long here my apologies #⭐💧au

20 notes · View notes

rassicas · 1 year

Note

wait tell us abt your ocs!! i’m kind of new to your following and i’d love to know more about them!!!!!

my two main splatoon OCs are Cress Rassica and Verna Rassica, two inkling brothers with a complicated relationship. they plague my mind at every waking moment

(do not ship them together else i will skin you alive.)

Cress is overall a nice, trustworthy and reliable guy, a little weird though. can be a bit gullible at times too. hes not too shy, but just prefers to keep to himself. gives off an aura of awkwardness, except when turfing, where he becomes more aloof, even aggro. can hold a grudge. Verna is stubborn, impatient, competitive, has a drinking problem, and suffers from stress induced headaches. hes so full of stress, thanks grizzco. emotionally stunted, expresses mostly through varying degrees of anger. has insane libido i hate him. i think he needs to be held. A summary of what their whole deal is: following the untimely death of their mom, and their father long out of the picture, 13-year-old cress moves in with his older brother verna, who had been living on his own for some years. with the huge age difference between them, they'd never been too close. as teenage inklings tend to do, cress gets into turfing for fun... and as an outlet for his squid instincts and other things going on in his mind. Meanwhile, verna is at a nebulous point in his life, and suddenly losing his mom and having to take care of his brother has been making things trickier. going from shitty job to shitty job, tries going to college for a semester and gives that up, back to more shitty jobs...he deals with it all by staying inebriated. he eventually lands a sketchy but well paying job at a place we now know as grizzco industries. after a traumatic workplace incident that verna is barred from discussing (and its not like he knows how to manage his feelings anyway, and doesnt want to get his little brother involved), verna and cress's relationship grows more strenuous...verna drinks more, lashes out more, closes himself more...after years of tension, cress grows fed up, and even a bit fearful of verna, and moves out. cress moves onto living a bit more peacefully, dreaming of opening up his own little tailoring shop. verna continues working at grizzco, gradually getting dragged into a seedy world of business and crime in the underbelly of inkadia... the two havent spoken to each other for some years, and thats been the current state of their relationship. but surely, their paths will cross again.... when more cool plot stuff happens that i havent fleshed out properly yet<3

i've been thinking a lot about revising their toyhouse pages since its been a good while...will share that here when i do

#asks #my oc asks #yeah ill tag it as that for the future #i need to update toyhouse because theres stuff thats not canon anymore augh

177 notes · View notes

palehottubchild · 7 months

Text

ˏˋ°*♡➷ get to know me ༊*·˚

I was tagged in this lovely game by @sflow-er- i stole your exact post dont hate me i love doing these things also im not gonna tag ppl bc i have anxiety but if you wanna do this consider yourself tagged by me

(explanations below if anyone cares)

The idea is to pick a favourite movie, character, animal, drink, song, season, book, colour, and hobby and present them as pictures.

ok so first off, movie; I don't really tend to have favourite movies (i don't watch a lot of movies in general) and at the same time every movie I have ever watched is my favourite. For today, tho, Dead Poets Society has been the latest rewatch and it just Hit Me and I haven't stopped thinking about it for 3 days now so that's getting the favourite movie spot.

Character; Mike Wheeler. I think Mike is severely undervalued (by the GA especially) and there are sooooo many interesting things to his character that i wish were explored deeper than they are currently. (I am also a strong mike-in-the-closet believer but that's besides the point)

Animal; Whales. I don't really have an insightful reason for this. When i was 11 someone asked me what my favourite animal was and because i wanted to be special i said it was a whale and its stuck by me ever since.

Drink; Not Heineken, but i do love me a good beer. I was debating between beer and iced tea, but then i realised that whereas i only really drink iced tea in summer i am always always down for a good beer. not heineken tho, its just the first picture i could find.

Song; Another hard one, because as for the movie every song i have ever heard is my favourite song, but i chose It's All Futile! It's All Pointless! (wilbur soot version in particular) because I feel like it resonates with me a lot and while i love the lovejoy version, the og has a special place in my heart. I encourage all of you to listen to it if you havent and while you're at it throw in the entire Maybe I Was Boring album.

Season; Winter. I love winter. I love christmas and i love new years and i love snow and i love not sweating my balls off at 7 in the morning and i love that it reminds me of home and my grandparents. i love winter.

Book; Another 'i love everything ive ever consumed' answer. but a little bit different. This is probably not my favourite book ever but i read this in the past year at a time where i was doing particularly bad and as cringe as it sounds it did help me a lot in realising that yes, life is shitty, but maybe its okay after all. if youve read the book youll know what im talking about.

Colour; yeah no this doesnt have any fun reasoning i just like the colour green.

Hobby; Rowing. I love rowing its a great sport for people who have bad knees (me) and people who are terrible at running (also me). Yes, the young royals rowing scenes hurt me deep in my soul, yes i loved seeing rowing on my laptop screen and yelled about it for an hour w my best friend who also rows. Its just a great sport. Its outside, its together, it gets me to be active. Great on all aspects and I miss it every day now that i cant do it.

anyways tahts all Im sad my pictures dont form as nice of a collage as ive seen some other people (although i will admit that maybe i chose the particular song and book because the covers have kind of a dark-ish colour that i felt fit the other pictures a little more lmfao) thank you for reading if you ever got this far.

#tag game #i love talking about myself can you tell?

4 notes · View notes

drawing-way-outside-the-lines · 1 year

Text

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖

Chapter 7 - Long days, short nights. Episode 1.

Evan: The following week was a mix of diving in Andy and denying my growing feelings for him. I was falling for him, and deep down I already knew. The days were long and hard to get through, trying to keep my distance, but at the same time wanting to be there for him as a person to lean on. The nights were always too short. The time where we truly came alive. Once everyone had gone to bed and were sound asleep, I felt relaxed enough to give into my desire to be with him. We were quickly growing into lovers, there were still no sex between us, but it was getting harder to deny the thought crossed me at least a couple of times per day. Could I? Should I? Once I had ended up letting him unbotton my pants as they had become too tight in the groin area from kissing him, but when he had let a hand slide inside my open pants, fear had once again overwhelmed me, and I had ended up leaving him alone and sweaty in bed. Not my finest moment I have to say, specially cause I following had locked myself up in the barn, drinking till I had passed out. A night I would really like to rewind now as I lay here thinking about it. He was so perfect, gentle, patient, and I just stuck my tail between my legs and ran. I was suddenly scared of a guy I had called my best friend the past 14 years. And for what? Had he touched me more than he did, I would have figured I liked it. And so what? Really? It all seems stupid and childish now. But then again, I do still hide. There's still things I dont dare to do. There's still things he doesnt dare to do. Im still new to this, and so is he. A few days after Christmas we had all driven accross country to the new town we had all decided to settle down in. For reasons I still havent gotten around to explain, we had to uproot our life and start over, lets just call it witness protection for now, although its far more complicated, and half of the people that ever were to hear about it, probably wouldnt believe much of it anyway. But the new town looked nice, at least what we could see of it since it was all covered in snow. And my new house was located up a mountain side, right next to Congo and Andy's. We had used a few days getting settled in, Andy's parents had had to sleep in a guestroom, as the house they were supposed to take over had been slightly delayed, so Andy and I still had to keep a great distance in the daylight. Not to mention I still didnt feel like sharing much with Congo anyway, let alone letting him see Andy and I kiss. I preffered everything to stay as invisible as possible, but what wasnt invisible was my growing desire towards Andy. It was New Years eve I finally gave in. It was just past midnight, everybody was at a great mood, dancing, singing, the new year had come and we were all alive and well. We had managed to put a bad year behind us, and come out on the other side. So to say that we were celebrating were an understatement. I had been deep in conversation with Andy's dad for a while, talking about when Andy and I were younger, all the funny memories were being tossed and turned between us, and the mood was high.

#Yeah it's super short again #sowwy #it's fucking Tumblr I swear!!!#unicornmanes #Evan Thompson #Congo Shaw

8 notes · View notes

bbboar · 1 year

Text

@boogerwookiesugarcookie asked me to answer ALL of the end of year asks so here we go! Thanks Naja!

Going to put it under a readmore bcs long

1.Song of the year? Dream Girl Evil by Florence and the Machine So nice of Miss Florence to make a song thats not only a bop but also specifically the theme song for my oc Hydrangea

2.Album of the year? I don't listen to many full albums but for me it would have to be a tie between Give me the Future by Bastille and Impera by Ghost 3.Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year? Ghost 4.Movie of the year? Everything Everywhere All At Once! Like i don't even need to think about it. Unlike anything ive ever seen, so interesting and heartwearming. Excellent performances and costuming 5.TV show of the year? Oh man this one is touh bcs i had 3 shows ive been obsessed with this year…. Our Flag Means Death, Severance or Interview with the Vampire 6.Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you? Not defined the year but the best ep of anything ive seen this year was the the season finale ep of Severance. It was so excellent at keeping up the tension for the entirety of the ep. I was pacing and yelling and restless for the full length of it. Just amazing storytelling of everything coming to a head and the editing...my god!!!

7.Favorite actor of the year? I don't care that much about actors to have a fave of the year 8.Game of the year? I was a teenage exocolonist. Just finished my 4rth playthrough and i think i may have 2 more in me bc i want to see different outcomes/choices 9.Best month for you this year? Idk they sorta all blend into one? But December is when i have 2 weeks off work and also the weather is beautiful and sunny so im going to say that and not think about it too much.

10.Something that made you cry this year? A friend was never available to see me despite my multiple attempts to meet up and even though i didnt mind for a lot of it, eventually it started hurting my feelings. 11.Something you want to do again next year? Go on a mini vacation. I took a week off work to visit friends in Tasmania and i think i would be nice to visit some other place next year as well. 12.Talk about a new friend you made this year? I think we'd chatted a little on twitter and also possibly met irl once? But anyway yeah i formally met and befiended the partner of a friend and we rly got along! 13.How was your birthday this year? I went to this super expensive viking themed restaurant ive wanted to go to since 2019! Food, drinks, service, all excellent. I was dressed to the nines in my sequin dress and after i went for a little night walk around the city. It was gr8! 14.Favorite book you read this year? A nobleman's guide to scandals and shipwrecks by Mackenzi Lee. The Montague siblings series is such easy reading for me so i had a fun time! 15.What’s a bad habit you picked up this year? Forgetting to take my acne medication but i also took steps to prevent that so were good now 16.Post a picture from the beginning of the year Actually the first pic i took in 2022

17.Post a picture from the end of the year

Food from yesterday (27/12/22)

18.A memorable meal this year? Oh i already mentioned my birthday dinner so instead ill mention the brunch i made for my friends when i visited them in Tasmania.I was going to make eggs, bacon, homemade flatbread and some other stuff but my time management was off and it took me sooo long to make everything.In the end it was more like a lunch than brunch^^; But everyone was so patient with me and in the end the food was yummy and everyone liked it and we played dnd and had a great time :) 19.What’re you excited about for next year? Going to be getting a new phone and also....idk i havent made any big plans but i look forward to the little moments of joy and indulgence that will come. 20.What’s something you learned this year? Im sure theres life stuff i learned but what im psyched about is learning how to make scones. Its so freakin easy!!! 21.What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? After living here for about a year,i decided to finally put shit up on the walls of my room.Paintings and fairy lights and i plan on having a little colection of magpie prints too.It rly lifted my mood and brightened up the space. 22.Favorite place you visited this year? Oh man i was just stoked to visit Tasmania and see friends! I need to travel more bcs i love seeing new places. 23.If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be? Do not catastrophise when someone upsets you. Just sleep on it and then act. People sometimes are stupid and thoughtless,not secretly malicious. 24.Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions? I usually have a few and some years i end up completing them, other years i dont. This year my only resolution is to comment on people's art more. Thats fucken it. 25.Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one. Many actually bcs aside from various ocs, i run some trp games where i make 10+ npcs for. I guess one would be Winnie an npc i made for a game who i put so little thought in. Like i needed a character to fullfill a certain role so i recycled an old oc design and gave her like 2 personalty traits. Then though as we played, we all ended up liking her way more than id planned so anyway now she's in the queue to be an upcoming pc for a dnd campaign (with a slight redesign)

#boblabla

2 notes · View notes

transgenderer · 2 years

Text

@kata4a tagged me

What was your:

Last beverage: coffee this morning, unless water counts. im gonna have some cranberry juice with lemon soon. so good Last phone call: i dont have phonecalls often! probably IT at my job. maybe a tinder dude like a week ago Last text message: tinder dude ive been talking with, he seems cool so far Last song you listened to: golden jackal song! what a great song. Last time you cried: like a week ago i cried right after work in the bathroom. not sure why

Have you ever:

Dated someone twice: my first boyfriend! we broke up and then briefly got back together a couple months later. god. that relationship was bad in such a boring way, i was just desperate but wasnt particularly into him Kissed someone and regretted it: not really? i mean. ive had bad kisses. but its never caused like Consequences Lost someone special: like, they died? nah. i alienated my long distance best friend when i was in like 9th grade and havent talked to her since. bummer Been depressed: lol Been drunk and threw up: ive never thrown up AFTER getting drunk but for some reason last year i vomited on the WAY to the wine garden. i think i overexerted myself or something?

List 3 favorite colors: hmm green, orangey-pink, like teal/turquoise

Last year, have you:

Made a new friend: hmm. sort of? ive gotten much closer with people i hadnt been close to before. idk if ive like properly befriended any totally new people? idk. its ambiguous Fallen out of love: i mean, sort of aidan? i was never really in love with him :/ Laughed until you cried: i think so? idk if i do this Found out who your true friends are: is this code for "been betrayed"? weird. i havent been betrayed Found out someone was talking about you: my friends talk abt me sometimes i love it :) i love it when people talk abt me. i love it when ppl on here mention talking about me irl. Anyone on your fb friends list? facebook more like fakebook

General:

How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life?: (facebook fakebook)

Firsts:

First surgery: when i was a baby i had my thumb stuck at a right angle! they had to like. cut a tendon First piercing: i dont have any piercings! First best friend: girl from preschool who lied all the time. so weird and bad First sport you joined: i did t ball when i was real little First vacation: my parents took me to hawaii when i was reallly little i think

Right now:

Eating: pbj for dinner :/ Drinking: just water I’m about to: post, I guess (i second kat)

Your future:

Want kids: hard no Get married: hopefully! Career: hopefully math PHD and then yknow. do something with that. probably not in academia

Which is better:

Lips or eyes: hmm, lips probably, i dont usually look at eyes lol. i feel like face is about the hole tho... Hugs or kisses: probably hugs? kisses are nice too but theres something so safe... Shorter or taller: taller :/ kind of a woman moment Older or younger: older, double woman moment. gender Romantic or spontaneous: this is a weird dichotomy. spontaneous i guess? Nice stomach or nice arms: arms! love arms Sensitive or loud: sensitive Hook-up or relationship: relationship! or at least, yknow. more than once Trouble maker or hesitant: troublemaker

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger: depends if you count tinder boys i barely no Drank hard liquor: yeah Lost glasses/contacts: ha i dont need glasses. fucking poindexters Sex on first date: literally dozens of times Broke someone’s heart: yeah... :/ Arrested: nope! ive been like, accessory to a felony tho (cooking DMT) Turned someone down: loads Cried when someone died: i think my great grandma? Fallen for a friend: yeah...

Do you believe in:

Yourself: i guess? idk really know what this means Miracles: ofc not Love at first sight: i mean...idk, i feel like this is weirdly undefined as a concept. like, obviously you cant KNOW someone on first sight. you can know someone after a first meeting, mabe... anyway you cant love someone you dont know Heaven: lol nah Santa Claus: no? Kiss on the first date: yes? Angels: no

6 notes · View notes

brothalynchhung · 4 months

Text

2023 overview part 2

since when was there a text limit?

anywho lolla was so much even if i was alone

chicago food slapped the city was so much fun and yeah just enjoy being in america

the record stores 🫡

that kokoroko story omg the fact that i went to the same places as new jeans just a few days apart 😭 but still that store was my 80s dreams

BUT YEAH I SAW NEW JEANS AND TXT LIVE

JID RHCP DESTROY LONELY A BOOGIE BAEBADOOBEE KENDRICK AGAIN

so much fun honestly the vibes of an american music festival r unmatched

loved summer so much

then i went back to toronto and just waited for the torment to be over cuz i just wanted to get the fuck out of there

seriously chilling w that bitch nd her weird ass bf was hell

literally toronto was the worst place i went to this year.. lol

anyways its over and never happening again

now i know forsure im never going back i HAVE to make it somewhere else

ANYWAYS i left canada then came back around sept and had to deal w moving out

left my old isolated place

gunna miss that view tho lol and my old gym / salon but othat than thaat... BYE

then moved in w nada which is going okay i guess whatever

im in a weird limbo state in my life rn -_- after an amazing few months of travelling idk what the hell going on

i quickly got a job LOL ofc but i kinda got into it/entered it not rlly knowing what the fawk was happening in my life like uh yeah i guess okay lets just do this cuz i need to sell my furniture and put it somewhere and i need a visa

legit its just for the visa until i figure out where i wanna go -_- bUTTT

i havent had much time to even think about that or my future cuz...

of that stupid ass discord. .. group -_-

look its not even the group idc about them like yeah nice weirdos woo whatelse is new

but that stupid ass day i decided to go to the korean restaurant.. -_-

like i was doing so well man but then my eyes set on fire

im still figuring it out but whatever idk

like work was good tbh it doesnt even FEEL like work cuz yeah tbh after that hell job i just dont care about labor anymore like nah im NEVER putting my whole pussy into a job ever again im putting myself first always now so this current job just doing feel like shit

actually its kinda helping me get my mind off this bitch

idk man i met that bitch and now i cant stop thinking about him

blah blah typically me shit i obsess over someone and daydream crazy about them idk

hes cute tho ig i think hes better than all those other bitches i been w

OH ANOTHER THING THO I FINALLY BROKE MY 2 ALMOST 3 YEAR SPELL

thank god 😩

i mean it didnt go the way i would have wanted to..

i move too fast -_- and i think that was the problem

but after that spell broke i thought i would be done w it but nope

im crazy and started to get depressed

idk what i want or if im just using this bitch as a distraction from work/figuring out life

idk what i want bc obv this bitch isint anything special hes just kinda cute? but whatever HES NOT GL

so many red flags but im acting like a bull

brrr whatever the biggest this is just selling that fucking ass furniture

anyways the whole end of this year was just the new job, this bitch and me going crazy

the new job is fun the ppl are nice the client is annoying but its manageable thank god we got wfh but yeah even in office isint bad the ppl r nice which is the best part

the partying.. lol girl -_- i need to slow it down i cant keep on getting lit BECAUSE HONESTLY whats ruining me is the drinking

maybe if that bitch didnt exist in my life i would be fine and have control but jeesuss its like im trying to forget my current situation through him then try to forget him through partying and bullshit -________-

god please send me gl .. or whatever

or maybe i just need to act normal and stop being fucking crazy over a bitch i barely know that will do nothing for me and go back to focusing on getting shit done and FORWARD with my life

yeah -_-

anyways end of the year partying wooo work friends woo this weird discord chat group wooo delusions wooo

gym movies books learning japanese learning music theory (which i rlly need to get back to...) videos skateboarding art basically always encompasses my years

i just need to put myself out there more idk i need to get out of my head and start to do more

which is were im at perfectly idk why i had to go so crazy from oct-dec but whatever i think its over now

i cant suffer forever

anyways this was a long ass busy crazy year with so much travel beginnings and endings moving cutting off and meeting new people... im so so so grateful despite the emotional breakdowns and work stress and this bitch stress im sooo happy i think this was such a fun year and yeah we need ups and downs..

pluto in aquarius eh? so shit about to get crazier... nice -_-

i just want to make videos do my website idk FIGURE OUT WHERE I WANT TO LIVE sell my furniture and yeah ofc read read read movies movies movies be HEALTHY create more and realign my brain w my goals after this dumb bitch entered my life ugh (im doing it to myself fr) anddd idk what else make friends that are like me and MOVE FORWARD

remember self CONTINUE!! CONTINUE!!!

see u next year and hey future self if ur reading this i love you u can do it U SURVIVED THIS YEAR U CAN DO IT

0 notes

sniffanimal · 7 months

Text

rotating putting a mild effort into nanowrimo this year, as "my project focus for november will be writing prose" and not necessarily "im going to write a 50k novel in 30 days". ive been thinking about revisiting Wayward Wolves and this seems like a good time of year to sit and type and drink bottomless coffee, ya feel?

anyways a summary of ww under the cut

for anyone new here (and to be honest i havent touched WW in ~3 years? ish?), Owain's Shelter for Wayward Wolves (often I shorten it to wayward wolves, wwolves, or ww), is a story that I think works best as prose, maybe with chapter illustrations.

It's about Owain, a werewolf since birth, running a local advocacy/outreach group that focuses on newly turned werewolves that turn up in the area. He picks them up, usually from animal control or the police, and teaches them what they need to know about their condition, and offers the safe fenced compound him and his mother run for wwolves to turn at. In turn, injury, death and damages are reduced and everyone stays safe. Shortly after his old best friend (who turned enemy) shows up in town again seeking refuge as a new werewolf, a series of attacks are happening on humans and livestock in the area. Surely it's not Cassie, right? Owain races the local authorities to find the culprit rogue wolf, while trying to clear Cassie's name and repair their old relationship.

and because im not a coward my werewolves are all explicitly some combination of gay, trans, or disabled. Cassie in particular transitions during the story, feeling a lot of different things when your entire sense of body is no longer what you thought it was. She is experiencing the hair and muscle growth that comes with being a werewolf, even in human form. The dysphoria of interacting with someone who knew you only as a kid, a teen boy. The disconnect between your body and mind when you have a back injury and cant maintain the same level of activity you're used to using, used to using to survive.

Cassie's the character I have fleshed out the most tbh but Owain's the main/pov character (for now, i might try flipping povs). Owain's arc is a lot about self esteem, interpersonal relationships, autistic burnout, and trust.

#badger rants #wayward wolves

1 note · View note

xoxo-figgs · 10 months

Text

i havent written today yet but this is where im sitting. pretty happy with those numbers especially since (like i said) i havent written anything in 4 years really seriously.

a few of my favorite parts so far:

“Yeah, you just said it. Those are the only places we’ve been lately. We need to get out and do something on your next day off that’s not at your apartment or my van!” “What, praytell, is there to do in Hawkins, oh, wise one?” “I’ve got wheels. We can, in fact, leave Hawkins.” “Well, my next day off I have to open the next day. What about staying in Hawkins for this one?” “Okay. What about the arcade?” “Now you’re speaking my language, Munson.” “A little Pac-Man. A little Donkey Kong.” He winked at her. “Oh, yeah, talk dirty to me.” She laughed. “Some Galaga.” He chuckled. “Dirtier.” Her laughter got louder. He stopped to think before offering, “Centipede?” “Oh, you know what I like.” She stopped, holding her stomach from laughing too long, “You’re on.”

“Just tell her that you like her, man. It’s kinda super obvious to everyone anyway. Except for, apparently, her.” Gareth was sitting with the rest of Corroded Coffin, casually tossing Cheese Balls into his mouth. “I’ve acted exactly the same around her since the day we met. How would she know the difference between a me who likes her and a me that doesn’t.” He told his friend, “A me who doesn’t like her has never existed.” “Jesus Christ, Munson!” Jeff said, taking a drink, “That’s the most poetic shit that’s ever left your mouth. Are you going to start writing ballads?” “Is this you telling us you’re going to leave us and join Whitesnake or something?” Grant added.

She finally got the last card in her hand and turned only to almost drop them again. She got a hold of herself before she had the chance to say ‘What the hell is Steve Harrington doing here?’ out loud. “Hello.” She said, her brain suddenly blank to any other English words she knew. “Hey there.” Steve replied, smiling as he looked her over. “Um…” She willed herself to think. She went to school. She knew other words. What were they? Oh yeah – “Can I help you?”

He smiled, suddenly excited, ‘You’re right. I didn’t even think of the mall! Thanks, Josie. You’re a lifesaver.” She smiled back at him, “What flavor?” Eddie almost choked on his own spit but stopped himself. ‘Is she flirting?’ He asked himself. “What?” Steve laughed. “You called me a Lifesaver.” She replied, “What flavor am I?” “Oh.” Steve raised an eyebrow, thrown off by her question, “I don’t think they make a flavor fitting enough for you.” “Oh?” She was just making a joke at first, but his answer threw her making the tips of her ears and her cheeks feel like fire. “Maybe a black raspberry flavor.” He told her, smiling. They just looked at each other. Josie blushing ferociously. Steve with a smug grin on his face. Eddie, from his chair, witnessing a Twilight Zone episode with his mouth agape. “Anyway, Josie.” Steve said, finally when she didn’t reply, “I’ve got to get home and let my dad know what I’ve found out. Thanks again for the information.” “No problem.” She managed to choke out before he left the store. “What the fuck was that?” Eddie said as soon as the door closed.

The door opened again and she walked in. Eddie’s nice, respectful thoughts immediately were nowhere to be found. She had gotten a new bathing suit, a simple, black bikini and she looked amazing in it. Eddie wished for a word other than beautiful. Gorgeous. Perfect. Hot – no, stop – Sexy – stop it. Jesus Christ. Goddamn. “I like the bathing suit.” Is what he chose to say instead.

#camp nanowrimo july 2023 #camp nanowrimo #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #fanfiction #actually figgsy #eventually this will be steddie x ofc #right now it's just cute childhood friends hopelessly in love with each other and no one wants to confess #and steve having a crush #actually writing

1 note · View note

thav · 1 year

Text

11/13/2022 - Update

hiiiiii

i havent been on here in a min so i decided to do a little check in / update on where i’m at

currently, i’m vaguely sick because i’ve been going out this entire week which was really fun but ultimately comes at a cost, i went to Rhein haus for the first time and it was cool i guess. i drank a rainier per usual

i was out with new friends again yesterday and it was fun, i love the imagery of house parties, and even just being a young adult in seattle, it’s always been something i’ve been inspired by since i was a little kid. i feel like when i first got there i really wanted to leave but i had a few shots and it was fun... i’m still unpacking what that means LOL never want to be too hypothetical/deep but my relation with my vices is interesting and wavering and i’m constantly learning about it each time i go out loll especially since my best friend has been sober for over like 100 days or something?

sometimes when im at work i really hate my job and know that i should and could be doing so much more.. but honestly i feel like everything beyond my life would feel very... baseless? and a waste if i don’t go through this slow season right now. i go to work a lot and get glimpses of what i know my life is going to be and how my art will be received one day and i genuinely get really happy i start tearing up. i’ve spent a lot of years dimming my own light and feeling like i never deserved to even create a platform for means of celebration for myself... knowing how much i deserve this now it makes me 10x more hungry to keep hustling and keep refining my craft, and expanding on that

i met this girl who i’ll name Kayla who’s probably never gonna read this, but if you do im sorry lol (but not really bc you were lowkey mean when i first met you) but i remember walking into this guys apartment with her (i met her 10 mins before at my other friends apartment) and I feel like i already didn’t really connect with her because we had the dreaded conversation of being two people in their early twenties in proximity to the University of Washington-- are you at UW, what’s your major, etc etc. i have no problem telling people i actually dropped out of college to fully pursue my music career, but i never really go out of my way to say it and in fact i usually try to defer from even having that conversation to begin with. but anyway, after some prying i told her about my artist project and she seemed really dismissive and didn’t care.. and i brushed it off because i expect that from people that aren’t versed in this world-- i understand that not everyone cares about it so it’s whatever. so after this i’m like still trying to make conversation because we’re all just waiting for our friend to finish making our cocktails. and she goes, “oh, you’re trying to have a conversation! i’m really really good at small talk, like i do this for work all the time”

it’s funny because i feel like i’m somehow used to people diminishing me or making me feel small, but i feel like it says way more about Kayla than me as to the basis or assumption she made of my character just because i didn’t work some job in consulting/accounting as her like most of the people at that party (they were all rly nice tho)

but the thing that gets me the most is that i know i’m super intuitive/emotionally intelligent and i express that through my art, and when we started drinking more, and Kayla was feeling more chatty, she started talking to me about her parents and her feelings towards that, and i feel like she appreciated me for listening

i empathize because i do not have the best relationship with my parents but this was just an example of how funny it is to me how small scale non creative people make art seem, when in reality you consume art all the time and you dont even know it... not trying to label a conversation or a trusting moment as art but.. it is and is relative to the way people see the world and why they make art to begin with

felt like she slapped me, then cried, then said thank you

i dont take it too personally though just because ive been dealing with this for so long.. but to anyone out there who is in the beginning stages of their artist project like me... people are gonna misinterpret you on purpose, they’re not gonna fully see your own vision... but your whole life is never gonna be about trying to make them believe in you. i always felt like thats what it would be like and i honestly think that's why it took me so long to fully dive into my artist project. but now that i’ve let all that shit go, i’m honestly just really dedicated to showcasing my thoughts and emotions the most coherent and honest way i can. i feel like, i was born into a world without a choice, and am “forced” to live this life, so i really just want to be able to document it fully. i’ll leave you with one of my favorite mantras:

“we are all the universe witnessing itself from one perspective”

love love love love love you

Thavoron

0 notes