#and its all still a learning process

[cascigarette]

one year ago today i was forcibly hospitalized. wild how much can change in a year

#am i doing better? yes but im also not like. great #but ive learned to cope with things better #and its all still a learning process #anyways i think thats why ive been more depressed this week #knowing that anniversary was coming up #but today is my day off #and i ate breakfast at the beach and did the dishes and cuddled with vesper and took a nap #and its been a very good day <3 #mine #5150 tw #forced hospitalization tw #ask to tag

[araneapeixes]

Throw down your umbilical noose

So I can climb right back

#my first ever painting!!<3 #shadowheart #bg3 #the song is the dead sara cover not the nirvana original btw #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 fanart #shar #the main thing abt this one for me is her pose #bc its meant to be ambiguous - she is knelt down to pray but also keeled over in pain #and obviously reaching up - but is it to stand or just to reach for the knife? #and im also happy with how the singular bit of moonlight (!!) makes it pop #i learned a lot in the process but im still so shit at painting. i will love any and all constructive criticism here<3

[skunkes]

how did you learn to draw and feel comfortable drawing bodies and figures? I was curious to your own experience, since theres an overwhelming amount of ways to go about learning.

just by doing ! i collect lots of ref images and also use my own body as ref for poses (then mentally edit the body to fit the character im drawing)

though there's something to be said about. 1. the Becoming Obsessed With Something method in my experience, and 2. Finding a balance between motivating self to start, and waiting until its you Feel ready to do so ^_^

i learned to draw and feel comfortable drawing the human body by going section by section (was fixated on drawing isolated arms and hands for some time in high school, in between still trying to draw whatever (full bodies) i wanted as usual. i barely started really learning to draw legs last year. i didnt feel Ready or Motivated to focus on them before then, and now I can actually piece all of that together, and draw in a more Informed way than before) as well as just actually having genuine fascination and fixation on the human body to drive this. I love the body! I want to depict it well!

#skunk mail #Anonymous #long post #idk if that made sense though... like... i would still draw full bodies before i really started focusing on legs #its just that now its more informed! #also if it was back then id probably do solo legs studies... but since i Know how to draw torsos and arms my leg studies are usually also #full figures vs just legs. because ive already learned the other sections and now im 1. Refining how i draw legs and 2. reinforcing my #other anatomy knowledge...! #while being very eager excited and motivated to do so because wowww im drawing a body im building a body im detailing a body im creating #i get to adorn it any way i wish i get to make it look all sorts of ways... i love it #process

[blackskorpi0n]

wanting to do 3D art properly, but in order to be good at it I'll have to learn how to mesh and retopologize models, learn programs like Substance Painter and Zbrush, and dedicate like 5000 hours worth of my free time which I don't have 😭

#idk how artists do it..... #like i genuinely want to learn how to make my own shit and stuff but #its so fucking hard lmao #but like im still learning blender and it is fun to experiment and create cool things #i guess this year im gonna make it a goal to actually learn how to mesh something in blender and texture it am all that #its gonna be a slow ass process but im willing to go through it

[wind-becomes-lightning]

whats happening to @skykashi is the reason why ive started recording most of my artworks. at least the ones i plan to upload. I mean, its not EXACTLY what worries me. I just got much better at copying poses and I am terrified people would accuse me of tracing. Now, I believe that a great artist will see that I didn't trace because I just make too many mistakes still, but the fear to be called out or witch hunted or whatever sits very deeply.

It's also why I draw tooons more than I ever upload anywhere. The art community is wild an I just wanna to stuff for fun.

#nisi rambles #the accusation of the artstyle change is so wild to me #there is this very famous art that eiichiro oda #mangaka of one piece #made of snoop dogg #it suuuper realistic #and peopel always go #WHAT THAT CANT BE ODA THAT DREW THIS ITS SO DIFFERENT FROM HIS MANGA STYLE #well yea?? because he was drawing a portrait not a comic #he can do it #he jsut doesnt want to or its too time consuming #also and even if it were like not something sky could usually do #you can still use close references of faces #lighting and skin colouring tutorials #its not like there arent possibilites that there was a learning curve here #ugh but have to say that person commenting skys post saying #mimimi AI art is the future and you have to accept it #like go away this is not about this #and no it is not the future go away #i guess all that could be done here is to make ANOTHER realistic art piece and then record the entire process #but idk what the op then would make up as an excuse to say its fake again #because its like this with callouts right? you just want to callout #you dont care about the apology or explanation #like this whole thing with #if youd just showed me the layers i would be ok #and then the person will just move the benchmark again #show me a video and i would be ok #show me the entire process #like they have decided you cheated and now they dont care #its bully mentality

[pom-seedss]

Old art, new format!

Made a paint by numbers for myself to keep track of which colour goes where because I know I would have messed it up otherwise.

Fun to see how this turns out.... I custom mixed the blues. I think 2 and 3 may end up being too similar, but it should still get the effect I wanted for the most part.

#new hobbies are so good and there is still so much to learn and I am trying different things every time #do i hate that my new hobby costs more money than no hobby? and all the fucking guilt and stuff that comes with #spending money on myself? yeah pretty much yeah its why i never feel bad about digital art because #i would still be using the computer and internet anyway so aside from the tablet cost almost a decade ago this is #basically free for me so like idk idk physical hobbies are so good but physical goods make me feel sick #because of the fucking world we live in and the way i was raised so like i am really #struggling here but what are ya gonna do eh? trying to push all this away because processing it has only looped it #so we get a lovely post and the mother of all fucking shitty tag talks afterwards :) :(

[pyrriax]

6, 12, 30 for the writing asks ^_^

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

Shaking its head in what seems like disbelief before meeting his eyes again, almost like it wants to say something before it makes a noise like a growl, "oh, you're one of those seraphs, aren't you. A star-eater. No wonder you act like you've lost your mind."

(ignore that that's a couple sentences, the Thought is important)

12. Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

Oh yes! I outline my fics thoroughly. Though, I do allowed myself to deviate as much from the outline as I feel like when things go off the rails. Some snippets of planning from a couple fics & concepts:

My outlines are very... One for one. With some exceptions. I tend to basically write a very brief version of the fic and try to get the feelings and words right before I actually write it. This is... Also why it can and will take me a month to write a oneshot. I try to get things Right.

30. How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

So! I edit them a bit? I edit while I work, but often I don't really touch anything I've already written unless it's something longer that might be taking a few months to get through. I think the fic I've edited the most is the prologue of Artificial Stars, which was originally a quickly written 2k oneshot into about 5k of actually decent fic.

Usually I don't edit to make something shorter/more concise, since I tend to only come up with more ways to bridge concepts when I go back to it. Also to be fair... There's usually no difference between first draft and final product. I cannot be asked to edit my fics after I write them, I just release them to the birds and pray for the best. (Unless I actually decide to show it to my beta reader in full instead of just sharing snippets as I... usually do.)

Conclusion: Rarely, those thangs are being given to the world as-is unless something is horrifically wrong with them

#ask a ghost #asker: solxr-planet #ask game #i get a little silly sometimes but also uhhhHH!! welcome to several things i havent posted about before #grey notes is an oc thing that will never be finished but i still have the line-by-line dialogue between two characters that is. #kind of how i plan dialogue? at least how i outline it. #i'm super picky with it and i plan stuff so much that you can usually tell pretty quickly when something isn't planned #ALSO! #scene titles! #nobody sees them ever but theyre there for me and me alone #usually theyre song lyrics or something i think is important to the concept but also other times theyre just kind of silly #“all the candy you can eat” is a song title from one of my favorite albums. #honestly i think this is the first time i've shared anything of my writing that is even remotely roshambo-centric #i am still learning how i want to write & characterize him so its a bit funky #haunted bookshelf #purely for the random stuff that's in there #also! i started breaking things up into scenes rather than just chapters and it helped a hell of a lot with my process #since it's easier to divide when there's a lot potentially happening in a chapter of something #or even just in a oneshot #my process is. definitely made for the way i write. i don't think i would ever recommend anybody do what i do with my fics #also yes i could actually just edit my plans and call that a fic because really that is the effort i put into them. #theoretically you could call my outline my first draft because really that is the way that it is

[taeyungie]

😺

#i haven't addressed yoongi's situation yet because i'm honestly still not hit by it i guess. like it didnt gwt to me yet #i dont think ill ever love anyone the same as i love him you know what i mean #he has been the first reason of my self development. like he literally raised me??? i learned from him how to be the person i am today #and its like im saying goodbye to a family member. the thing is i have never griefed anyone's absence like this #its like a part of my soul will be missing until he comes back #but at the same time i know what he would want for me. to move on and to become my own reason #he would want me to be kind to myself. to focus on myself and not miss him that much. #he would want that for all of us right #but i have a very hard time processing things. do you guys remeber the festa last year? when we found out theyll be going on hiatus #the reality of it snd the fact that it will be happening hit me onky after around 3 months. #thats when i first cried because i realized what it meant. ofc i knew but it didnt occur to the emotional part of my brain at that time #and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol #my life has never been worse and thats honestly the time when i need the reassurance the most #when i need the people i love and find comfort in the most. #but its just me and thats technically just my problem. but since i am talking about my view on this then thats okay i guess hahah anyway #i just hope he knows there are milions of ppl who love him as much as i do. and thats like extra love like forever & beyond type of shit #i honestly dont think other people ever truly fully understand how we feel towards them. especially when you really love somebody #because they have their own opinions about themselves. they debate whether they deserve some kind of treatment or not. we all do that right #and i just know he does that too. i just reslly want him to feel completely loved and cherished and appreciated. #i want him to see himself through our eyes. to surround himself with people who see him exactly the way we do. #to fall in love with somebody who will see him like we see him #nobody deserves better life than this man. and i hope that after our reunion he will live that life to the fullest 💓 i can't wait to see it #anyway. if somebody needs to talk about it or wants to get sadness out of your system - im here 💓 #please keep your heads up and lets wait for him 💓 #we have esch other and we will be okay 💓 #sorry for typos i can barely see its 1am 🤓

[itafushin]

thinking about how comforting mk would feel if he came out to mac and wukong and found out that mac is also trans and wukong is genderqueer, it makes mk feel a lot better about how he identifies and would make him feel a little more connected to his parents

#🏮 #squashed apricots #trans mk and trans mac hold a very special place in my heart #i like the idea of mk being grateful and appreciating how supportive his parents are while also being able to use them both as #a place for resources #especially since mac is a doctor. a licensed one. so he could get hormones from him #obviously its a whole complicated process before he can but still #he has that security blanket and he also just loves learning new things esp about his dads #and it would make sense as to why mac and wukong wouldnt really make a big deal about mk coming out at all #lmk wukong #lmk mk #lmk macaque #lego monkie kid #shadowpeach

[perenlop]

i'm not ok. < just saw the chimera ant finale

#being hyperbolic i watched this a few hours ago with eve lol #i insisted that we didnt start elections immediately cause i need time to process this damn arc #im like. the lovers suicide.... i was expecting meruem to die but not komugi..... they died playing together and they died in an embrace #he finally got to tell her his name..... she probably learned he wasnt human when she embraced him.... and still loved him... #the overall theme of the arc too where like its not good vs evil its just all evil all around #cause what kills meruem isn't an honest battle its a bioweapon meant to enforce genocide #that was designed to destroy other countries and kill as many people as possible #the twist with reina was super sweet too im so happy she got to reunite with her mom. i hope colt eventually can too in later chapters #im also glad bluster got a happy ending kinda. i liked his design and i was hoping he'd live so im glad he did and now hes part of a family #echoed voice #hxh spoilers

[oatbugs]

shaking of leaves by into it over it is genuinely one of the top songs of all time

#the sun is setting later which is a shock because i was too bruised up to celebrate the winter solstice this year #i got lasik surgery just to start a staring contest with the sun. two of my names mispronounced in a row by the butchers. i can still see #arithmetic as construction in space and geometry as construction in time. follow two parallel lines until they meet. #piazza stairs in the sun drinking aloe lychee juice watching young and beautiful people talk about money. notice the small fine lines #forming at the corners of their lips between their brows the sides of their eyes. what is representable for you is necessarily what there #is. subjective necessity transfer to objective necessity. why is this compelling? why are you compelling? would you like to kiss #by the river? would you like to walk 30 minutes to broadway so we can kiss by the river? ar 3³ #ive learned a lot about turner's watercolours but i havent said enough about the ways neurons dance together. about the way all of it is a #process without emotion and how that makes it beautiful. chipped nailpolish on his nails and dark circles under his eyes and a smile that #says i have learned to study the nature of the mind and how intuitions form reality and i no longer want to die. instead of taking #that horrible fall he reads kant to himself and he reads her to sleep and he reads my horrible jokes. #dont think like a psychologist and dont write like a philosopher. dont do maths like a physicist. #ironically read the science of logic. ironically a caffeine adict. ironically drink steriliser for its 74% alcohol solution. #ironically a 1:1 student. there are birds hanging in the archives. orions belt over the red glow of a very normal house. #each time i walk home the stars are brighter. i hope you are brighter too. i hope i am brighter too. i am going to win #that staring contest with the sun. #[i drafted this post on jan30 and forgot abt it]

[blueblend]

Life's been super shit, but on the upside, I did a thing that makes me legit happy. 🤙

...I got too excited to practice coloring a new way that I forgot THE FRIGGIN' SWORD.

Oops.

#He's still a work in progress #but im more comfortable drawing him now #alao learning how to color on csp without treating it like my paints #its very challenging and interesting #it also makes this process 1000% longer than it would be otherwise #loz #the legend of zelda #totk #tears of the kingdom #link #clip studio paint #blue draws #digital art #art wip #(Imma bury this here but those nails are proof that my previous all consuming obsession was Inuyasha #christ help me)

[aria0fgold]

In this world, the storm will pass

Alec sat atop the railing of the balcony, looking up at the sky as it slowly dims to reveal the countless stars awaiting the night to be seen, to twinkle at the life below the vast sky. A cigarette placed between his lips, smoke rising up to the stars that he can only dream of reaching someday.

His eyes were vacant, what was once a vibrant blue, like the sky in a cloudless sunny day, is now merely as dull as the sky in the fog, in the stormy weather that never left. But it's getting better now. Slowly, slowly… Like clouds drifting in a windless day, moving an inch, yet moving still. Slowly… The storm will pass. But for now, he'll stay in the eye of it.

Standing beneath the stars surrounded by a quiet storm all kept inside. In this world, everything is the same, yet different. In this world, everyone is alive, safe from a greater danger than life itself. In this world, Alec is supposed to be dead, yet here he is… Someone else. In this world, his family lost Alec, yet in his world, he lost everything.

So what is he doing here then? Intruding in a world that didn't need someone like him. An Alec that was doomed to have nothing, living in a world that has moved on from Alec's death. He doesn't know, doesn't understand. He gave up understanding the world ever since that day, the day where it collapsed, leaving him with nothing but ruin. He always thought that, it would be better for him to have lost himself to the forest instead than be brought here by whatever force, whatever power, whatever God, who thought it entertaining to put him here, in this world. Is it fun? His life… to be toyed with by fate, by the world itself, is it fun? He gave up wondering about it, gave up on an answer he didn't need to hear.

Alec took a drag on his cigarette, frankly, he isn't one to smoke, he isn't one to drink, he isn't one to do any such things. But what does it matter anyway? His body… won't sustain any damage from it anymore. It's different. Everything is. Nothing was ever the same ever since his world started collapsing. Nothing was. So it didn't matter, whatever damage he does to his body didn't matter, it'll just heal it all anyway. Leaving not even scars on his skin, what a picture perfect body, devoid of scars. One would wonder if he ever went through such things, when there's nothing for him to show for it.

Alec glanced down, it was pretty high. This house, this balcony on the third floor. He gave up on that thought long ago though, it was the only constant he has left, his will to live, even after everything. Foolish, isn't it? To continue wanting to live even after all that, for what reason really? He doesn't know anymore, his memory isn't as good as it was before. So much so, that he's guilty of forgetting what his family looked like. Had he not been living in this world, he would've forgotten their names too.

Alec looked up again, to the pitch black sky, the stars brightly twinkling at him. Back in his world, he found solace in the night, in the stars above. He thought of them as his family watching over him, was it a myth he read back then? The souls of your loved ones becoming stars in the night sky. What of it now, however? In a world where everything is okay, is his family's souls still amongst the sea of stars, watching over him like they did before? What would they think of him now? Would they be happy? Glad? Relieved? Or would they be mad? Upset? Betrayed? To see Alec be happy with someone that's them yet aren't at the same time?

He doesn't want to think about it.

Just as Alec brought the cigarette to his lips to take another drag, the hand of another reached out to take it from his own, he didn't need to turn around to know who it belonged to. He knows it already, by heart.

“You okay?” Ray stood beside him, leaning on the railing as he threw the cigarette to the ground. Putting the fire out with his slippers.

“You're going to ruin that pair soon if you keep that up…”

“Well, that's fine. I forgot to grab the ashtray on the way.” Ray hummed, “You dodged my question again though.” His voice had a slight teasing tone, mouth formed into a small grin as he glanced at Alec.

“It's always the same answer, anyway.” I'm fine. That's the answer he always gives to that question, every single time. He knows it's a lie, they know it's a lie, but what else can he say when words aren't enough to convey whatever he's been feeling ever since then?

“I don't mind that. Maybe, once a lie is repeated enough times, it'd come true someday.” Ray chuckled, “Though that sounds a bit dangerous, now that I think about it.”

Silence fell between the both of them, it isn't heavy nor is it tense. It was comfortable, like the breeze of the night. Ray looked to the sky, and Alec… he looked to Ray's eyes. It was as dark as the night sky, reflecting the countless stars twinkling high above with a light all too familiar yet not at the same time. This is Ray, yet not his Ray. That is Ray, one who've turned into light, amongst the sea of many others, high above the sky, a bright twinkling star. In a way, he did become a ray of light, just not that of sunshine as he would always say.

Alec moved his eyes towards the sky once more, and the two stayed there, in the silence, below the night sky, underneath the stars, they bathed in the light of a hundred promises, a thousand wishes and a million hopes for a future gentler than their present.

#ariawrites #ariaoc #ariaoc: Alec #ariaoc: Ray #angst #uuuuhhhhhhh how do you tag this thing. nothing triggering in it??? i think? other than angst it aint that heavy #well theres smoking so ig i should tag that one then???? its been waaay too long since i did smth like this #tw smoking #also also to have a lil more context bout whats happening here. basically this is set in an au where the alec here #belonged in a world that ''collapsed'' like some doomsday thing. Stuff happened and everyone he loved is practically dead #hes one of the survivors. he gained some regeneration/self healing from the Event. a lot of things changed and hes desperate #to cling onto anything that Didnt change. a constant to find comfort in. and thats his will to live despite *gestures vaguely* everything #anyway when he reached his limit he was just thinkin of going into a forest to walk. to be lost. or just anything #but theeen he fell through a portal (i call em stray portals in my universe. they pop up randomly) that appeared below him #That portal led him to This world! where everything is alright. no world ending event happened. everyone is alive. except #for one thing... the alec in this world is dead. and his family were still in the process of moving on from it when suddenly #this Guy appeared that looked Very much so identical to alec so Things happened. and theyre all in the process of healing #alec is healing from the Event. the others are healing from their alec's death and all of em are relearning to love #alec is relearning to love these ppl that are his family yet not at the same time. his family is learning to love and give space to #this alec without seemingly replacing their own alec that had died. its a pretty delicate process of healing from grief

[reyryz]

this light and shadow duo shit is SERIOUS!!!

#knb #reezdoodles #idk how to do it in color so. ive resorted to black and white #me and grayscale r actually besties!!! been working w them for ten or so years 🤝🏼 #ill make it have color later... #whether its the red and blue gradient thing or like. their actual coloes #colors* #kurokos head is at such a weird angle im kicking myself over it #also no i never learned how to draw ears in 3d... its a flat 2d shape for me..... #if u ask me where the lights coming from u get a 🤷🏻‍♀️ answer #for kagami its from the bottom #for kuroko its from behind?? #all u need to know is kagamis casting a shadow on kuroko okay #urgrhrjrhj i might go back in and fix it while its still in black and white #im almost certainly gonna go back in and change the light source for kagami #even tho he looks cool as shit rn #me: ill make the shading simplistic and harsh #me: nevermind ill make the shading a super long and complex process like always! #rips hair out

[piesa2]

im always in between not considering myself a comic artist and then also when i do make a comic im like wow i love comics

#maybe its cause yk. i get better at it and i feel more comfortable with the process now than i did yk a couple years ago #enrolled in this school barely ever having drawn a comic nor having done much research into the course #just kinda based on ‘i want to draw lots’ and what the application process was like #didnt even really read many comics #and then after a year or two of sorta doing comics wanting to do other stuff but also #occasionally making a comic still #in the end its really not that weird at all i think. the course gives a lot of freedom and make whatever kind of art you want. #im not graduating with a comic for example but rather a sort of transmedia exposition #but then. i also do like comics. learned to like them. i like panelling (but storyboarding is so hard) #above all i think i just love drawing. i want to do more than that as well but an empty piece of paper is my home #its my home! and i love my home

[dyketubbo]

i do think oranboo would wear dresses and skirts but i also think that she would still be really pathetic. shes not your sassy but supportive sister figure who magically knows makeup now and does yours for you shes not human and her species doesnt have gender (at MOST if you connect enderians to the ender dragon then she would be. a dragon) so tits would probably be more annoying to her than anything ("why would i choose to have back pain. why shouldnt i just tailor dresses to fit me without weird lumps on my chest") shes probably not going to be very nice at all really

no in my mind oranboo has just decided that now that shes a girl shes TWICE as better than everyone. shes still a weirdo who lives in a cave and cant go out in the rain not because it would ruin her makeup but because itll literally kill her. ranboo not being on the server is actually just oranboo going mining to try and get rich again. shes still a spoiled brat but now shes a spoiled brat of a PRINCESS and really her connection to the ender dragon makes her THRICE as cool and better than everyone else, actually. she mutters to herself and probably always has dirty hands because ender but she doesnt have silk touch.

transitioning didnt make oranboo go from a manloser to a #girlboss #slay #baddie who pinches your cheeks and teases you but means well. shes just a womanloser now who does wear dresses and heels but the heels are so it hurts more when she steps on your foot to get you to drop something and then pretends it wasnt her and even if it was you deserved it actually because that was hers? its in her hands so its hers now. she probably stole the gender too

#o!ranboo #origins smp #osmp #ranboo #mask mews #me: yknow it does suck that theres so little variety in hcs for oranboo. wait. i can be the change i want in this world #she only grows out her hair a little (if she even has hair) and she doesnt paint her claws but she DOES file them to be sharper #she hates how makeup feels and either way beau is probably the only member who does wear makeup anyways #so she wouldnt really think its a girl thing she would probably think its a beau thing #(shubble is a phantling who probably has rough skin and niki is. underwater. so) #(they COULD. but it might not process as something they put on themselves every day) #she does however wear even more jewelry #she already did. but shes wearing more now #she puts on makeup for fancy events if they even have those and gets frustrated bc she doesnt actually know how #so she ends up getting help and then pretends like she had done it all on her own anyways #do you see my vision. do you understand #she gets a bit more feminine sure but shes still a loser who chose to live in a cave and probably got told to leave her homeland #bc she was being a brat #she hasnt learned she just heard shubble niki and beau be referred to as the girls of the server or whatever #and was like whats that. i dont know what that is but i want it? i want to be girl? #and after a long attempt at getting her to understand gender shes like. hm #well this all sounds really complicated but im still stealing the girl thing thanks