#and its ok bc i love angst

[arkiwii]

i absolutely love kristen x saria and could give a whole analysis about it because its such a beautiful relationship that was doomed to fall. kristen was already planning to die, and alone, since the start. they both cared deeply for each other, but it couldn't work.

i know a lot of people probably wish kristen would come back at some point, but im placing my hot take care: i dont think she should. like id say "if she did she would/should", but no, i dont think she should ever come back at all at any point. she dedicated her life to it, and she joined the stars. she's gone now. and saria needs to move on, to stop clinging to the past and grieve something that was already lost. she was left with a huge scar, but this scar needs to heal. if kristen came back, it would only make the damages on saria worse and will never let her heal.

i love silence x saria even more because it's the union of the future and the past. silence will help her to move on, to heal. she will show her a beautiful world. the broken rock and the plants growing on it making it beautiful etc. and at the same time, saria would be able to give silence the kind of support and comfort she deeply needs at the moment from her overwhelming duty. i wouldn't want to say it's THE relationship ever, but god fucking damnit its close to it. its beautiful. look at them mutually helping each other out. hits fist on desk

IF i didn't just woke up i'd write so so much more and give so much analysis and symbolism and all that stuff but im sleepy. ALSO i need to draw kristen and saria content one day but im so bad at drawing kristen and im clogged artwise i have so much to work on help

#btw im not calling out anyone for wishing for kristen to come back im not saying you're wrong #im just saying scenaristically it would be horrible #and its ok bc i love angst #(saria needs a break) #sorry people lone trail is still devastating me after a month #i seriously cant stop thinking about it u have no idea #ANYWAY ALSO I ORDERED THE LONE TRAIL ARTBOOK FROM NORIZC WOOO #YIPPEE #arknights

[nonranghaes]

heads up! mentions of a past abusive relationship (for reader). this should really go on wooahaes but i'm too lazy to format it rn and i need sleep so take this ig??? i might repost over there some other time....

there's things that are unfair about having a boyfriend like vernon. you think one of them is how pretty he can look when he's sleeping.

of course, he's still human. he ends up with messy hair, and sometimes he drools, and there's about a thousand other things you can list off about him when he sleeps... but he's still your boyfriend. and thus, every little 'flaw' he has is something you consider pretty on him. he would (and will, when he's in a sappy enough mood) say the exact same about you, to be fair. he shifts a little in his sleep, stretching and reaching for you.

you still remember overhearing him talk to his mom the morning after you slept in the same bed as him for the first time. it'd literally only been sleeping, but you heard him quietly say 'they trust me a lot,' to her while on the phone. he'd been unpacking breakfast. when she asked about it, he merely said "they fell asleep next to me. they've never done that before. i think... i think they trust me," in that pensive way, like he's thinking more than he's actually saying.

(i do, you told him later. trust you. i think i love you, too. and it'd been what made him say that he loves you for the first time--something he didn't expect to hear back without that 'i think' to protect yourself. you said it to him a few weeks later, and he teared up--although he'll always deny it when you bring it up now.)

"you're staring again." he pulls you out of your thoughts with ease, and his eyes meet yours in the low light. "what's wrong?"

you saw today's date. some birthdays never leave you, and that's true of the person who hurt you. the person you only told vernon about a few months ago in full, although he knew of the person's existence before then. you remember what that person said to you, too. that you didn't need anyone else aside from them...

"nothing," you say, and it's a half-lie. it'll bother you a little more, but you don't want to have this talk now. not when you're already starting to drift off, safe in his presence. vernon's good at protecting you from ugly feelings that settle into your bones like an unwanted guest. "we'll talk later, honey."

he gives you a uncertain look. "you only call me honey when you're upset."

(it's a mutual thing: he calls you either by your name or a casual dude any other time, and baby and babe and love of my life whenever he's trying to avoid a topic temporarily. the two of you communicate: vernon's good at making you feel safe in that, too.)

"right," you say. "we'll talk in the morning... homie."

it earns a crackling snort from him, and he smiles that cute gummy smile as he hides his face for a moment. "ah, really... god, you're such a dork sometimes, i swear."

"a dork who landed you," you always remind him. yet when his eyes meet yours a moment later, you feel something warm in your chest that washes away that ugly feeling all too easily. you reach out, holding his face. "i think... i won."

"you won?"

"you love me," you say. "my friends love me... i'm loved," you say quietly, and the feeling still feels a little foreign. you are loved, you repeat mentally for a moment: because they see you as you, not the broken mess you feel you are. "so i won."

vernon gets it soon enough, and he nods. "you won," he says quietly. "i'm glad you're here... homie."

you crack up, too, and he quietly laughs at his own little moment with you. his laugh and his smile always make you giggle, too, and he pulls you in to kiss you happily.

"i love you," he mumbles against your lips, "i love you, i love you, i love you--" and he keeps planting kisses against against and around your lips to punctuate every repeat of the phrase, before he draws back, satisfied after being struck with the need to be overly sappy. "alright?"

gone is that bitter feeling that once flashed through your veins and settled into your bones. all you feel now is love, soft and sweet, as you're so openly reminded that you're not alone. that the two of you shoulder these problems together. you won, you think, because you are alive and being loved and learning to love wholeheartedly again.

"yeah," you settle in to sleep, planning to keep to your promise of talking come morning. "i love you, too, you big sap."

#nonranghaes.thoughts #seventeen x reader #nonranghaes.svt #svt x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen x you #svt imagine #svt x you #chwe vernon fluff #chwe vernon x reader #vernon x reader #vernon fluff #vernon angst #today is my abusers birthday and i hope he is choking rn :) #and i remembered today. that i am loved. that i am so loved. #i hope anyone tht can relate to this also feels loved bc hi i love u i dont care if im just a stranger #we're gonna keep moving forward together its ok. i'm holding ur hand. we're gonna keep going.

[astranauticus]

Do mechanites cry?

#rolling with difficulty #vrla rwd #mrsn rwd #vr la rwd #mr sn rwd #art i made #yet another thing i drew then just fully forgot to post LMAO #man i had to listen to 3.7 like 3 times for this. goddammit #easter egg: the 4 big infernal books in the shelf all say contract law like its a textbook series i guess #the small one next to them says Doctor Faustus bc i was looking to my irl bookcase for inspiration #and the christopher marlowe play was one of my alevel lit texts #also i think it would be really funny if the devils have their own version of the story of the deal with the devil guy #honestly this may have been the kinda. last straw of my burnout cuz this was a lot of time spent on a lot of stuff im really not good at #and none of it turned out... exactly how i wanted but oh well. it is what it is #ok the kinda annoying thing about me spending far too fucking long drawing super emotional scenes like this is i kinda #desensitise myself to whatever im drawing. like i felt it the most with the demon possession comic i casually tossed into the discord #bc thats the exact kinda angst i personally LOVE but it just doesnt have the same punch after ive been staring at it for 5 hours straight #(anyway go read cal's fic about it its on ao3 and its bloody good) #all this to say. when i first listened to 3.7 and austin had that exchange of like #'noir can i ask you a lore question' 'sure..?' 'do mechanites cry?' #i straight up got fuckin CHILLS. and sometimes i forget that but i try to force myself not to

[gunstellations]

unreachable

#kaeluc #my art #suddenly thinking about younger kaeluc.. #growing up but theyre in an adults world #two peas in a pod but the distance is noticable all the more when theyre growing older #expectations and responsibility #vs feelings of being an outsider who doesnt deserve any of this #what they have created for themselves #each thinking is slipping away and theres nothing they can do #add a budding romance to it and youve got angst for days #also maybe kind of an au thing here bc im sure crepus would make sure it wouldnt get too bad for kaeya ok #but i just like to think he could be a bit of a wrangly little sad boy with too much love to give #dont worry give it a couple of years theyll have figured it out and be besties again before the inevitable happens :') #you can read this as ragbros too without the romance its up to your own intepretation tbh #i love the idea of that as well im all about exploring every possible dynamic of their sad little found family

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

PRINCE!GOJO X KNIGHT!READER MY BELOVED i just thought about another thing and i need to get it out - i like to think out knights are connected ok. hear me out maybe my knight is just another version of yours - meaning if my knight had met satoru at a young age, they would've turned into your knight DOES THAT MAKE SENSE your knight is a bit more soft (still a warrior though!!!) while mine isn't as soft as they'd like to be and that's just because one grew up in a castle with the prince taking care of them and the other grew up having to fend for themselves they're all just sooooooooooooooo ahhhh i can't i keep thinking about your knight too like they all actually made a cozy little home in my head i love them so much

and i think your lovely "i think i was born to meet you." applies for my little prince and his little knight too:(((((((((((

- @softgirlgonehaywire

MICKEY I KNOW I SAY THIS EVERY DAY BUT WE RLLY ARE CONNECTED i was literally thinking abt this while answering that ask…. the differences between our knights…. AND UR SOSO RIGHT thats literally perfect. its canon to our lore now. 

it makes sm sense too bc the reason why my knight!reader is so devoted to prince!gojo is bc he saved them!! and i think that also leads them to have a kind of hero complex where they want to return the favor, or save others the way he saved them… but to your knight satoru is just a silly little spoiled prince that theyve never met before, so why would they like him??

ok but now im just thinking abt our knights meeting each other…::: ur knight coming face to face w a version of them that isnt as hardened, that was saved and got to live a more peaceful life….. the envy and maybe contempt? or maybe just apathy. idk but i am THINKING

AND AND AND…….. ok but what if our princes met the other version of their knight 😵‍💫😵‍💫 HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUTTT

just…. ur prince!gojo meeting a knight!reader who is soso loyal and smitten w him (he would cry and explode i think)….. and my prince!gojo meeting a knight!reader who lost their smile (WHO HE FAILED TO SAVE oh i think that would just break him)…… my knight being so indulgent and ur satoru taking full advantage of it, ur knight getting hissy when my gojo acts overprotective…… HHHHH IM LOSING IT MICKEY CAN U FEEL IT……..

anyways in my head theyre one big found family who take care of each other <333 love & peace on planet earth etc etc. they were meant to meet each other one way or another!!!

#THE ARI/MICKEY KNIGHT&PRINCE MULTIVERSE GOES CRAZY #i also think its so funny how one side is just fluff bc sweet lil prince!gojo gets a knight who loves him back #while the other side is just gut-churning soul-shattering Angst LOL #but tbh i think ur prince would miss having a knight who will just beat the shit out of him #and my prince would literally throw up out of guilt if he learned abt the pain ur knight went thru LMAO (there are tears in my eyes.) #THE INTERACTIONS FLOODING MY BRAIN RN…. mickey u keep infecting me more and more pls stop i cant take it 💔💔 #ok but im also soso curious to learn more abt ur little prince so i can dissect the differences between our gojos too… #my spontenous take was just that maybe my gojo is a lil more twisted..? cruel maybe? but i honestly dont know #i feel like theyre both soft and kind but also a little sick in the head #maybe ur gojo is a bit more spoiled or coddled……… less detached?? mickey im so interested in him u dont even know #i cant wait to learn more!!! #ask tag ✩

[theloveinc]

I love ex boyfriend bakugo so much you don't even know

actually i do know because i feel the SAME. my love for ex bakugo is unyielding. endless. forever. and i actually wrote a bunch for him a couple months ago when another anon brought it up but... got scared they'd hate what i had down so i....... put it on the shelf. i'll have to find it maybe... if ppl want.

ANYWAY... like. there is truly just no way to go wrong with him. there is just no universe where he isn't either a depressed, miserable, longing ex or an kind, gentle and regretful one (or some variation of). even when he's angry, it's mostly just at himself for being a douche who managed to lose you, and HOW CAN U NOT LOVE THAT??

it's so ironic bc he's such a prickly pear but... he just loves the hardest out of any + everyone. not that i don't imagine the others and just as caring... but for bakugo, it's almost a religious experience, you know? never a phase or an era or something he just does but a... idek. life commitment? goal? achievement? something to be maintained and treasured? all of the above. EVEN IF he's not that good at it (at first... which is debatable anyway), that's still how he feels.

so when u break up... that can't be the end of things. like really i can only imagine it happening circumstantially, cuz i genuinely think that any issues you bring up with him (aside from work maybe), he'd take BEYOND seriously.

too gruff and private? suddenly he's telling u every single emotion he has and asking if he's being too rough. too anal and uptight? suddenly the kitchen is a mess and he hasn't even noticed. hell, even too busy? he'll do his best to fit a whole evening with u in his schedule (he hates mornings more than anything but takes the ass crack of dawn shift just so u can have dinner together most night)... it's like !!!!!!! + reminds me of that post i made talking about how pro heroes are so hard to breakup with bc even when ur pointing out their flaws, they're so used to constructive criticism, they don't even notice ur being insulting LMFAO😭

that aside tho, i can never imagine a bakugo breakup!au without them... you both back together at some point. even if it's ten or fifteen years later like... he spent all that time trying to get better for u... even if he didn't think you'd really come back. (or, as i was trying to write, you breakup with him and he just... doesn't fucking believe u LMFAOOOOO and shoves his booty back into his rightful place sadjkfhakjdsf)

(and bc i have i-can-fix-him disease, i also like bakugo who went thru a traumatic breakup w/ someone who wasn't u... and then five/ten/fifteen years later, you're the one to teach him to love again. or maybe that's not that unique of me LOL).

#bakugo #anyway #this is a mess im sorry but WAHHHHHHHH ADJKFLHADSHFB. I LOVE U BAKUGO IM UR BIGGEST FAN I NEED U #whenever i read breakup angst i'm like #he broke up WITH U. we get back together <3 #and god like. reunification / older dating aus #like i sometimes i dont even imagine the dating i just imagine me telling him all his exes are sh*t (not you but imaginary ppl) #and him being like <3 #LOL I'M TOXIC #and also the other ex thing i wrote i didnt like bc it ended up being more story than thought #but it was basically abt like... u know. u break up with him over slight miscommunication #and he doesn't even realize??? he's just like ok were taking a break for a couple days lol. #and then ur like no bakugo we broke up lmfao #and he's like. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh absolutely not and calls u every day talking like ur boyfriend until u. realize #he's serious abt changing #ANYWAYYYYYY SORRY FOR THIS IF ITS NOT WHAT U WANTED BYE #caitie things #gen #anon

[halforcdad]

serenading was really the last thing i ever wanted Kate to do as her grand gesture and i still don’t love it, but the amount of people who keep calling a big, awkward, public gesture hugely ooc for Kate and keep saying they miss the old whistler who wasn't dumb, oh DIA Whistler was so much better. its the show’s first season. i don’t think it’s even possible to be ooc when the writers are just starting to create these characters and we barely know them. we only saw ‘cool, confident, bossy dia whistler’ for about 6 episodes before 1x11 happened and changed everything, and while she’s still all of those things she was changing even before the breakup happened and with all the growth she’s gone through, she’s going to end the season looking pretty different to how she started (fair warning, this is a little unhinged and unorganized, just a little)

her arc has been about her learning to let people in and learning to be more honest with her feelings, to not be afraid of putting herself out there and learning how to stop pushing people away as a result of the impact Lucy and the team have had on her. it’s about making yourself vulnerable and trying to find people who will accept you even if you’re an awkward giraffe. throughout the season the writers have been telling us that she: finds it hard to be open and show her emotions, she puts her orders before her feelings at work causing everyone to view her as the ‘bad cop’ and that sucks, she really wants to make connections with her coworkers, but she doesn’t know how and she’s kinda bad at it, she was afraid of starting something with Lucy (and messing it up) because Lucy’s the most amazing woman she’s ever met and she wanted to keep it on the downlow until she felt she could handle it, is actually very charming and sensitive and goofy underneath that hardened exterior

there’s a reason Ernie describes her as “the tall one acting goofy,” she tries to keep her relationship with Lucy a secret and yet you can see her softening as a result of it and being unable to hide their connection and pull to each other even at work. Jesse notices they’re making googly eyes at each other during the Pearl Harbor tour in 1x09 and remarks that “there’s a certain DIA officer i haven’t seen around your desk recently,” because she couldn’t fight the gravitational pull drawing her to Lucy’s desk everyday, literally the worst kept secret at the office you morons! In 1x12 she’s sprinting after Lucy practically shouting after her (loud enough for all of Pearl Harbor to hear) even when she’s asking if Lucy’s going to throw their relationship away that easily. Kate gets a pass with Jane because how can you pretend you don’t care about Lucy after she could’ve died on an UC mission and as for Kai, well, he has two eyes so he definitely noticed too

the Whistler in 1x01 would definitely not be going over to Tennant’s house after 1x14 and sharing a drink with her (might not have warned her about Glenn Smith either) and maybe she wouldn’t have tried comforting her when Jesse went missing in 1x15 (not because she wouldn’t have wanted to, but maybe it would have been harder without all the stuff that happened in between as a result of the Lucy romance) and that’s growth baby!

as for her acting ‘dumb’ and goofy, whistler’s greatest hits (paraphrased):

1x07: the entire opening scene right in front of Ernie's coffee, like ladies its barely 9 in the morning 

1x09: “i want to be intimate” “here???” 

1x11: "i like this" "the coffee? its fair trade." "so i think i win the dumbass award." "yes...no! NO!"

1x14: “creds... that’s what all the cool agents say :)”

1x17: “the source of the attack was some sort of pineapple” “like the fruit?” (also forgetting she never apologized to Lucy)

1x20: while looking like a beaten bloody piñata “I’m fine just some bruises...and some minor head trauma...” “i did not have Lucy surf quotes on my bingo card today” 

1x21: “about the power of love!” -silence- “...anyway i think that’ll help us get through to David” (we were all raving about this scene and how cute it was, but we don't want to acknowledge all the work it took to get here?)

The writers have been showing it all season, this is just who she is the more you get to know her, not liking it is different than ooc

Kate just sucks at talking and processing her emotions on the spot and can’t always immediately formulate a response right away whether you’re her boss or her colleague or her ex girlfriend (she ghosted a girl for months for god’s sakes which is probably honestly where most of the ‘this feels ooc for Kate’ criticism comes from and it’s hard to blame anyone for that because wth Kate, but it also serves as the biggest indictment of how her lack of social skills has effected her life and now it’s finally catching up to her)

a lot of people call Whistler rushing in without thought or backup to be ooc, and while they’ve shown that she’s smart and good at thinking things through (figuring out a way to help the team in 1x06, with the Clark Lohan thing in 1x10, using David's wife’s fate as leverage to get through to him in 1x21), that’s been behind the scenes we never saw her do field work during her stint at the DIA so there’s nothing really to base the ooc claim on, the first time we see her in the field is in 1x17 (she only transferred to the FBI 3 episodes ago) when she rushes in and Lucy has to stop her so it’s not out of the ordinary for her to do something similar in 1x20 at Agent Jones’s house, Whistler in the office and Whistler out in the field are different because they’re different environments entirely (and she’s new to the field)

i dont think the people calling Whistler ooc for acting goofy and socially inept would call her ooc for turning down a promotion anywhere from 1x06-1x13 to stay close to Lucy after early Whistler was billed as ambitious and career-driven (but i guess it’s different because it’s romantic without being awkward...), if we’re going to throw that term out there we should examine all her actions that way not just the one’s we maybe don’t like 

you can criticize the writing and the show all you want we all have different opinions we’re not all going to agree on how good Whistler’s development has gone, but i don’t think it’s fair to say any public grand gesture or Kate acting ‘dumb’ is completely out of left field, yes she was more cold and distant and mean earlier (and maybe you preferred that way more) but as the show has progressed you get to see a different more shy, uncertain, dorky side of her and that's not ooc that's just how humans are

she’s been slowly stepping out of her comfort zone all season and Lucy’s influence on her has inspired her to finally make a running jump into the deep end to win her back because she loves her and that’s how much she means to her (my favorite post about the grand gesture written before we knew it was a singing gesture LOL) that's the whole point isn't it? the power of love! has changed Whistler! she's never felt this way about anyone before and is clearly woefully inexperienced in love, she misses Lucy and wants to win her back no matter what so she's willing to listen to anything and do anything to show her she's all in and wants to be with her and only her! love makes us do crazy things, but it makes sense after a season of pain and regret

unfortunately for some people, Kate also happens to be less competent socially so that’s going to manifest in truly awkward (and secondhand embarrassing) ways, but she’s always been capable of this because she’s a multifaceted character and the writers have been showing us that

#ncis hawaii #kate whistler #kacy #all the criticism and thoughts ive seen on tumblr has been cool and fine but the twitter folks just make my head explode #its like every time kate shows a not Cool trait shes ooc? theres a reason everyone calls her the dumbest smart person (affectionate) #shes got one braincell for work! whenever she uses it for her personal life or for following ernies advice is laughs at her and explodes #imma be real this is kinda petty and ranty bc of one specific kate stan on twitter i keep seeing firhrgjrg #like i cant even enjoy their fics bc they start all of them with 'i wont do u dirty like the writers have' #like wym the writers have treated me fine i loved 1x20 i loved all the kacy angst lol #like yas and tori are great and theyre 50% of it but who wrote the lines they say that make me love lucy and kate more and more everyday #also i dont think its possible at all for a character to be ooc...in season 1 like the writers barely know them yet how can i claim i do #like ok you like the character but then you hate the writers for half the traits theyve given them so do you actually like them??? #this is all incoherent and im sorry #yes i still dislike the serenade but like i understand the point of the big gesture and why u would go there #get you a hot lesbian mess who can do both! #im delirious i probably shouldnt post this and ill regret it but i will anyway #like i saw someone ask what have they done to you whistler #oh idk given her a personality??? made her likeable and made the audience want to root for her? like yall LMAO

[enden-k]

when one of your fav fics of all time updates and the chapter ends with such heavy angst you cant breathe, too anxious, and wanting to know what happens in next chapter asap--

#im ok (not) #COME ON I LOVE ANGST (with happy ending) AND ITS THE WORST AND BEST when a chap ends with unresolved angst AA #im a patient reader and writers pls take ur time ofc #im just here going insane #u guys have so much power #i both love and fear u fr #personal #tbd #its too fitting putting my fav zhongli dead reaction there considering he literally GOT STABBED BY HIS BELOVED IN THIS UPDATE AAAAA #i know he wont die i just know and also trust writer and the fact theres no character death warning so HES OK I TRUST #its just the whole betrayal before anf the angst and aaa its so good it made me feel sm with them i hope everything ends well (soon)😭😭😭 #again im a patient reader i just need to yell for a bit bc this excitement and cliffhanger makes me stim like crazy 🥴

[sunliv]

buaa.........

#im ok👍just need to get some angst out! #liv.txt #anyway. sad abt being ar0ace time (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ #<- 'censoring' it bc i dont want it to show up in any tags etc #anyway! like. i love being ar0 and i love being 4ce #but sometimes i do feel sad abt it #its like. its so hard to explain and at the same time its so easy #but i feel like theres more to it #but sometimes looking around it really.. it can be really lonely #and sometimes thats good! sometimes i dont want that! any of that! #the agony and pain and RAUGH that comes with it doesnt seem very worth it #and sometimes not even the best parts appetize me #but sometimes. the. this idea. this idea that. something so.. so common so intrinsical . and that i wont experience it. #like sometimes it can be kind of sad #i dont usually feel like this but today im giving myself a pass #im also on my period so like. extra pass lol #but yknkw #hii edit; i am feeling better :] #like i said these things dont come often and when they do theyre quick

[minamotoz]

in case you were wondering how my 2023 soy luna rewatch was going

#soy luna #lumón #i will be forever salty #its so🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁 #i watched the scene with a pit in my stomach bc i knew what was gonna happen in the second half of my season #and i just AUGABRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRB #i cannot watch this show without it being tainted by the angstfest of s1B and even though thats what i signed up for #i love angst mmmmmm yummy taste y😋😋 #but now whenever i watch the show it feels like im 5 seconds away from a bomb going off like i feel legit DREAD #knowing whats abt to happen to my two splooikies who are in love #i knwo i sound stupid like girl its not that serious its a straight ship from a disney channel show that aired 7 years ago #but its that serious TO ME #i'll mever get over it ok goodnigtj

[sollucets]

between the two versions of my akkayan (the original / mostly scrapped / chopped-up one & my newer one) ive written like 6k words now and i still havent gotten to the original reason i wanted to do this gods give me patience

#i will GET THERE #rowan chatter #i swapped POV and location and . actually most things because the truth is it's kind of hard to avoid #a bit of *angst* bc. i mean. its the eclipse #and coming out like this is a tricky topic #but that wasn't actually supposed to be the point. the mood is supposed to be cute and hopeful and loving #so i had to get rid of all of my wretched and miserable little akks in favor of a softer conversation and aye pov #which i didnt originally want to do because i didnt want to get him wrong ;u; #i know how to be a repressed little gay ive been one of those most of my life #me and akk pov get along very well which is probably why it gets so Maudlin So Fast lmao #aye is harder for me to do and i love him so much i didnt wanna fuck it up #sigh #akk is still a little bit wretched and miserable but its gentler. so its ok #im also spending a lot less words on it lol #dvd commentary

[corpiote]

I've been listening to exile and the last time (tv) back to back all day. why am I doing this to myself?

#that being said the last time would be great for ikepri angst #we've already talked abt exile #but emma and the suitor feeling like they arent a priority or even close to one #and dealing with it bc 'its ok to be busy' but it comes down to 'idt you actually still love me or even care for me anymore' #gilbert and emma wld definitely have major political components #silvio/sariel/chev only working and ignoring emma even when they have time or cld make it #it wld work for a lot of the princes actually lol #i think gilbert wld be the more interesting version #text #taylor swift #ikemen prince #ikepri #ikesen too #mostly nobunaga and kind of yoshimoto if they fell back into old habits #ikemen sengoku #ikepri gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #ikepri chevalier #ikepri sariel #ikepri silvio #ikesen nobunaga #ikesen yoshimoto #cybird #the last time taylor's version #exile

[red-bat-arse]

if the hanahaki trope has a million haters i am one of them. if hanahaki has ten haters i am one of them. if hanahaki has only one hater then that hater is me. if hanahaki has no haters, that means i am no more on the earth.

#fanfic problems #fanfiction #fanfiction tropes #edit actually #its cheap and unnecessary drama #if its angst then it rarely puts in the work for the payoff #juvenile reasoning in nearly every aspect #oh woe is me id really rather actually die than confess like my life has no worth beyond romantic love #esp if the ''''surgery'''' makes them forget that person or smth like f off #i guess fuck your family and friends who love you right? #like itd be one thing if it was a horror trope where the flowers made you NOT want to confess so they could kill you #but its never interesting always just drawn out sad and aaaaaaagh #hate hate hate #also what the fuck happens if they break up bc the other person like cheats or something #does the disease relapse? theyre always like 'i dont want to pressure them' but that possibility seems not worth it #ok its out of my system sorry

[soldier-poet-king]

My friends got me a super cheesy dragon age mug as part of my bday gift and it was waiting in the mail when I got home today (a surprise) and it's so cheesy and I LOVE IT ABSOLUTELY but I am unfortunately....going to have to somehow explain this to my mother.....a pink and white mug with tons of hearts and looks like a middle school girls notebook except it aggressively says fenris and is about the angriest mage hating elf in the world

#SHHH I LOVE HIM OK #anyway. sometimes u just feel loved and known #and little dumb things like me always playing a mage but being obsessed with fen #bc my love of angst overpowers all #im just ;-; #its a SMALL THING I KNOW but im having a long lonely time #and a reminder that my friends even far away are thinking of me

[void-selfships-archive]

Ok I just FINALLY finished bojack horseman after taking a very long break from it cuz it was not good for my depression BUT!!! I was strong enough to finish it and I’ve followed this blog for years and I know you self ship with bojack but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a post explaining how you fit into that world?? Like, what’s your role, how did you and bojack meet, how does your story grow along with the others? AND!! Woooo, “the view from halfway down” episode was. Wow. How would you/your s/i (idk which one you use) react to all that? Are YOU maybe the one bojack calls instead of Diane? Do you/your s/i have their own “view from halfway down” episode? Sorry if this is a lot but I’m back into this show now and I’d love to know your role in the whole thing. :)

SOBBING CRYING SHAKING RN HOLY SHIT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW EXCITED I GOT SEEING THIS FJEJCJEJXJS

Also i get having to take breaks with this show bc if you aren't doing well it will NOT be good for you fjekwjcje I'm on my 4th (5th?) Rewatch rn after like a year (it's a comfort show) [ALSO VIEW FROM HALFWAY DOWN POG??? <- (my top favorite episode)]

BUT ALSO IM. SO GLAD YOU ASKED BC I HAVE SO MUCH LORE FOR THIS MFCKER AND IM TOO NERVOUS TO TALK ABT IT WITHOUT BEING PROMTED !!!

I'm gonna put everything under the cut for SPOILER REASONS but also PLEASE read the tags just in case!!! We're talking abt the mfckin CANON timeline I have for my self insert shits depressing as hell (also I hope I generally explained everything fjejcjdh bad at doing that smtimes)

I'm almost glad I'm not talking abt the Childhood friends au bc its SO softcore like wheres the angst bestie? But also damn. Why all the angst in the canon tl? Chill OUT /lh

Generally the canon tl follows the show pretty accurately, aside from the fact that IM there and a few things r obviously different

I met him in a bar during the 90s! It was one of those "Oh we're both actors! Pog." And we basically drank together and trauma-bonded. They quickly become good friends (It was funny, considering the first thing we said to eachother was "oh you look familiar" and "YOU'RE THAT GUY FROM THAT SHOW I WATCH!" Truly the start of a wonderful friendship.)

And, I basically stayed around him. The Whole Time- through Herb getting fired and both of our shows ending and various depressive episodes (on both ends), parent funerals and hallowern parties and benders and awful horrible shows that definitely should never be mentioned nor have been put on air.

And weird one night stands with eachother that never get brought up the next day (or at all for that matter) just to keep things from being weird.

So I've known him for awhile, and I've stuck around for awhile, basically a ride or die friend (with a tiny little crush that I'm not acknowledging) that's my role, the Yearning Best Friend- so cringe but it works out in the end.

I think, major event wise, everything still happened the same. It's right until S4 when things are, a little different? (Not by much though)

When he heads to his old family summer home he invites me to come with (I also didn't think itd be smart to leave him alone) and through that entire trip he told me about Horsin Around and his family and at a point a drunken rant abt New Mexico that neither of us remembered in the morning. (It was a bonding trip, definitely the start of Feelings too) we start dating in the middle of that season (specifically when we all got trapped underground, you confess a lot when you think you're going to die)

So naturally, S5 is different too, he's not dating Gina in that season, but everything still happens the same otherwise. (Of course I knew something was off the whole time, you don't stay friends with someone for several years and NOT notice when something's off, motherfucker wouldnt *talk* to me though, and when he did it was to tell me someone was trying to sabotage the show and of course you cant have two paranoid mfers under the same roof, they just end up fueling eachother until it's too late and something horrible happens)

And something horrible happened, and Diane told me about what she thought happened in New Mexico, and I'm thinking "I feel like I've heard this story before." And then Bojack tells me what happened in New Mexico and then he choked his co-star and hes going to rehab and everything is obviously too much and I tell him I can't visit of course, because theres a lot of information i need to process, but I'll still write and I'll still text and watch over the house while he's gone since I practically live there at this point but I cant see him rn.

And I didn't! Until he got out of rehab, of course and it was back to "Bojack and Jackson against the world!" And "Let's move! Go somewhere different get a change of scenery!" And we did. He got that job at the university and I! Stayed with him, ever the loyal boyfriend. (Until in getting calls from a reporter and suddenly we're trying to figure out what shitty thing he did before the reporter calls and Oh. It's about Sarah Lynn and Oh!! Thus is certainly new information I wasn't told about! Fuck.)

After the interview- the second one- it was...complicated. I didn't want to leave but i also recognized that i needed to. For now, to let him deal with the aftermath of his mistakes because if he came to me- and he did- he'd be looking for reassurances I couldn't give him. We got into a really bad argument, it was moreso implied that we weren't dating anymore, neither of us said it but we both walked away and that was the last time we spoke.

It's so funny that you asked abt The View From Halfway Down because I was literally just thinking about that episode the other day and if he would've called me and not Diane and honestly! Yea. He did! Tho he called me. Twice that day, once before, after he left Angela's house, and again before he got back in the pool- I picked up the first time but he was pretty much incomprehensible and I couldn't pick up the second time so when I called back and he didn't answer I was. Quick to panic. (I was right for being worried too, all things considered)

And then he went to jail. And we didn't see eachother again until PC's wedding (bonded a lot with her, during that break up period. It was hard y'know? But she got it. Also I was Helping Babysit with Todd, she was rlly making me rethink my opinion on adopting a kid)

We didn't start dating right away tho, but we did start hanging out again? So that was a bonus!

#oh my GOD ok im sorry parts of this are longer than others my brain was like RAMBLE TIME but also NO KING ITS ALREADY TOO LONG #the canon tl is a lot worst bc its realistic abt our relationship? angst at 100 but thats just how it should be #usually my art isnt apart of the canon tl. its either for the childhood friends pack or a Good Ending tl #good ending pack: where my general presence skips over certain major plot events but not too many where its suddenly the PERFECT Outcome. #srry im rambling in the tags cjdjcjdj #ty for letting me talk abt the tl srry if its...jumbled? while my s/i has the most lore out of all of them. im still bad at talking abt it #in a coherent manner #also! dont think Jack would have his own view from halfway down or at least if he did #its bc he joined Bo.jack in his near death experience which i haven't actually thought abt until now? definitely smth to think abt :0!!!! #fjfjdhf rambling srry- ty again! i love talking abt them sm #♡: i love you mr. blue #☆ask #tw alcohol mention #tw drug mention #tw death mention #ask 2 tag #☆lets put a pin in it

[noxtivagus]

i really should replay the ffxiv drk quests again

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxv. ] #remembering those words give me a lot of comfort #a lot of the dialogue in drk quests really resonate with me #the self-love n forgiveness stuff #ngl the story in general probably hit me harder as well bcs it's... 'emo' n ppl call me that ok fine sure 💀 #the angst the death the abyss pls you can't blame me it's all so good #v special to me >.> #the narration tho in drk is smth i rlly love #the writing. oh my god #'in your darkest hour in the blackest night... #think of me... and i will be with you. always #for where else could i go? who else could i love but you?' #personally for me the meaning of that quote brings memories #it makes me think of /myself/ #and how i'll always be there to comfort myself #everything else is inconstant #with only me being the only eternal for myself #but tho everything else may be inconstant #that doesn't mean its meaning or worth is downgraded or diminished whatsoever #nay there's a different special sort of meaning in the connection we have with others #things we can't have or accomplish alone #that gives me comfort #the uniqueness of everything #we can be ourselves in only the way /we/ can be. for we are only human #my spoken word back in gr 9 T_T i'm proud of myself for being able to write that into some sort of literature #i love how there are so many possibilities in life #that sentiment gives me a lot of curiosity interest and regret but #in the end the outcome we have faced cannot be changed. i accept that with pain but it also has this beauty of 'this is how it happened' #and then in relation to tomorrow. it's scary yes but i think the unpredictability of it is also beautiful.