#which i didnt originally want to do because i didnt want to get him wrong ;u;

[sollucets]

between the two versions of my akkayan (the original / mostly scrapped / chopped-up one & my newer one) ive written like 6k words now and i still havent gotten to the original reason i wanted to do this gods give me patience

#i will GET THERE #rowan chatter #i swapped POV and location and . actually most things because the truth is it's kind of hard to avoid #a bit of *angst* bc. i mean. its the eclipse #and coming out like this is a tricky topic #but that wasn't actually supposed to be the point. the mood is supposed to be cute and hopeful and loving #so i had to get rid of all of my wretched and miserable little akks in favor of a softer conversation and aye pov #which i didnt originally want to do because i didnt want to get him wrong ;u; #i know how to be a repressed little gay ive been one of those most of my life #me and akk pov get along very well which is probably why it gets so Maudlin So Fast lmao #aye is harder for me to do and i love him so much i didnt wanna fuck it up #sigh #akk is still a little bit wretched and miserable but its gentler. so its ok #im also spending a lot less words on it lol #dvd commentary

[i-cant-sing]

TIME TRAVELER AU PT 2

Original post/idea here. Part 1 is here. Part 3 is here.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

I fucked up.

You thought as you sat on the bed, holding your head in your hands.

I fucked up so baaaaaad.

Not only have you healed Baldwin of his leprosy, forever changing history of the LEPER KING, but also managed to somehow be his bride. To make matters EVEN worse, you cant just up and leave right now because you dont know the disastrous effects it'll have on the future now that Baldwin wont die of leprosy, which means that the kingdom of Jerusalem wont fall to Salauddin and his muslim army and after that its just a domino effect.

You tried to view your options here.

I stay here, marry Baldwin and fuck up the fabric of time and space because how can someone from the future marry someone from the past? Wouldnt I cease to exist?

I leave, return to my time where authorities arrest me for fucking around with time- that is, if I even exist in the future now that I've altered history. Who knows if my ancestors survived/were born after this?

No. Neither option is good. I need to stay here and fix this. But in a way that i dont draw too much attention to myself so that im so insignificant that nobody remembers, let alone writes about me in the history books.

You were drawn out of your thoughts with someone knocking on your door. "Come in." You said, straightening yourself.

A couple of servants walked in, all women. "Princess Y/n." They all courtesied. "We've been sent here by his majesty to prepare you for dinner with him."

Princess? Ah yes. Only a couple of hours ago, Baldwin had proposed to you, I guess the concept of asking wasnt a thing here as he just slipped on the big beautiful ring on your finger.

You narrowed your eyes at them. "First of all, Im not a princess. You will address me as Y/n only. And secondly, Im not going to join him for dinner, so there's no need to prepare me" The maids all shared a look of confusion before the head servant spoke.

"But we cant address you as anything else until you wed the king, after which you will be our queen, princess."

"Didnt I just tell you not to call me princess? Just call me Y/n!" The head maid shook her head. "Princess, we can not do that. If we do, then we would be punished. And we must prepare you for dinner with his majesty!" The maids moved ahead to start helping you but you raised a hand, halting them.

"I said, no." You said sternly.

"What... what will we tell the king, princess? He's expecting you-"

"Tell him i cant come because Im sic- no, Im not feeling well and Id like to be alone." You cant say "sick" in this era, because that means "death sentence" here and you dont want to be fretted over and bring attention to yourself as "the king's fiancee got SICK!". Besides, you do need to be away from Baldwin as much as possible and have some time to plot your moves.

-

You had pulled out your notebook and began writing out dates and historic events of this era to plan your escape. You're trying to find some sort of shortcut where Baldwin gets sick again and dies, leaving his kingdom in the hands of his sister and brother in law, who will bring its downfall-

Someone knocked on your door gently. "Princess?" You quickly hid your notebook. "Come in."

Baldwin walked inside and towards you, eyes worried as they scanned you up and down.

"I heard you're not feeling well?" He asked and before you had a chance to back away, he had cupped your cheeks in his hands tenderly. "What's wrong? Shall I fetch the royal physician?"

"No." You replied with your face smushed in his hands. "I'm fine." You pulled your face away his large hands.

Confusion spread through his blue orbs. "Then why did you not join me for dinner?" He asked, using a hand to push your hair over your ear, not taking the hint that you didn't want him touching you.

"I just-" what possible excuse could you come up with that would be both effective and not insulting enough to have your head chopped off. "you- you dont care about me."

Baldwin looked at you in bewilderment. "I dont... care about you? Princess, how can you say that?" He tried to cup your cheek again but you backed away before he could, putting on a face of hurt.

"How can I not? You dont care about what I want, or even ask me what I need?" You feingned pain in your voice, turning away from him for dramatic effect.

He grabbed your shoulders and turned you towards him, his pupils grew wide as if trying to search for what it is that you need. "My love, what do you want? Just say the word, and I'll give it to you."

You looked down, again for the theatrics, and Baldwin lifted your chin. "Go on."

"You never- never asked me to marry you."

"Huh? But I did today-"

"No, you stated it- demanded I marry you." You furrowed your brows and looked down again.

Baldwin smiled. Of course, how could he have not asked you? You were a girl after all, you want to be courted the traditional way. Its not your fault that you dont know that kings do not ask permission for things. They just get it, because who would refuse to marry a king?

He kissed your forehead, lifting your chin again to meet his eyes. "Im sorry, princess. I shouldve asked." He took your hands in his and had that charming smile again. "Will you marry me, Y/n?"

"No." You shook your head. "I... I cant marry you, your majesty." You said, adding tears into your eyes. His brows furrowed in concern.

"What? Why?" You tried pulling your hands away but he didnt let go, tightening his grip ever so slightly.

"I-" well, you could say that youre not catholic and the church would never let you two get married, but you also dont wanna be tortured for being a "heretic". Maybe religious differences could be the last plan. Taking your silence as hesitance, Baldwin spoke. "I can offer you everything and more. Jerusalem would be yours. What is it that I lack that anyone else could offer?"

"I am not a good match for you!" Ah yes, lets do the typical "its not you, its me." You bit your lip as you yanked your hands out of his and walked towards the window, your back to him (theatrics). "You and I are not equals- no we are nowhere close! Youre a king, your father was a king, your family is royalty. I come from nothing, as did my ancestors. There will never be stability in our marriage when we come from such different backgrounds!" You never thought that you would be putting yourself down and call yourself "inferior" to break up with a man.

Silence hung in the air, as you held your breath.

"Youre right." You heard him say behind you. "We are not equals, we never will be." For some reason, instead of being relieved, a chill ran down your spine. Baldwin wrapped his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder. "I may be a king, but youre far superior to me. You're an angel, sent to me by God, and you saved me. I wouldnt be king anymore if you werent here, princess."

Warmth spread from your cheeks to the tip of your ears, both due to the close proximity and his words. Sensing your bashfulness, he chuckled, kissing your cheek as he turned you around to face him. You could hear your own heart beat at how close he was.

Baldwin tilted his head, half lidded eyes staring at you. "Youre everything and more that I could ask for, princess. Never put yourself down and compare yourself to me, hm?" He said, giving your arms a gentle squeeze before moving away, but not detaching himself completely as he took ahold of your hand and looked back at you.

"Now that this is settled, let us go eat. I've had the servants prepare a feast for us and then we can discuss wedding arrangements-" shit shit shit shit shit fuck it!

"I'm not catholic!" Baldwin halted at that. You've already said it, might as well dig yourself a deeper hole. You let the tears form in your eyes. "Im... Muslim. I didnt tell you because I didnt want you to think I was working for Salauddin and spying on you for him, you know I wasnt! I really did only want to know about you. Please believe me, I wasnt-"

"I believe you."

What? Just like that.

"You- you believe me?" You breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Once again, Im sorry i didnt tell you I was a Muslim, but dont worry, I'll pack my things and leave tonight-"

"Why? We still have to get married."

You blinked slowly. "But... Im Muslim?"

Baldwin shrugged. "So? It doesnt change anything."

You looked at him in bafflement. "It does! It changes everything! We cant get married! Im a Muslim! The church wont allow interfaith marriages, and I dont intend on converting to catholicism either if thats what youre suggesting!"

"I am not suggesting that. You can be a muslim if you want to, but we're still getting married." Baldwin stated matter of factly.

"The church wont allow it-"

"The church will do as I say. I am the head of the church. Besides-" He smiled.

"I dont remember angels having to prove themselves to be a catholic. You saved my life, you cured my incurable disease. As far as the church is concerned, youre a miracle sent to me by God. Youre the Chosen One!"

Is he... is he hearing himself? Can you try to convince him?

"But... but Jerusalem deserves a Catholic Queen-" you tried weakly, but he cupped your cheek and smiled gently at you.

"I am Jerusalem, Y/n. And I deserve you." Was all he said before pecking your forehead.

He tugged you along with him. "Now, we have to eat."

You dont want to eat. You want to stay behind and think of another strategy because clearly you cant talk yourself out of this wedding.

"I'm- I'm not hungry." You said, making him frown.

"How is that possible? You havent had anything since morning. I dont want you getting sick before the wedding." Baldwin continued to pull you along.

Does he not listen?

"I dont want to eat- I- dont feel like it." You said a bit harshly this time, hoping he'd take the hint.

And he did, finally stopping. He sighed and let go of your hand. "Okay. I suppose if you really dont want to, we can skip dinner tonight." Fucking finally. "Its just... I seem to have developed a habit of enjoying meals with you. And now that my leprosy is cured and I have no more diet restrictions, I just- I had the kitchen prepare some of my favourite dishes that I was able to enjoy before my disease disabled me."

You stared at him. Is he- is he trying to guilt trip you? Baldwin once told you that due to leprosy he had ulcers in his mouth, and he couldnt eat different types of food, and was only able to have bland, soft goo.

You looked away from his big sad eyes. He's not getting to you. You need to go back to your room, make yourself scarce, be far away from him as often as possible.

"You can still go and eat dinner alone."

With one hand, he cupped your cheek. "Princess, you know I cant eat until you eat too. But its okay, if you dont want to eat, then I wont too. I guess I'll just have the servants finish the chicken roast and oh-! They even made strawberry cream cake for dessert. But- maybe another day."

You looked into his eyes, those blue orbs that were filled with sadness, resembling a kid who was just told "no candy!"

Sighing, you held his hand. "Maybe I can have a few bites."

His face lit up. Ah, he knew you'd come around. "Lets go!"

-

The next day, youre helped by the maids to get ready for the day. Apparently, Sibylla wanted to meet you and discuss some things, and you suspect she wants to talk about the wedding preprations.

The maids had prepared your bath and were very insistent on washing you themselves but you made them all leave the bath chambers. Finally, they compromised when you told them that they could dress you up if they wait outside.

Setting your old clothes on the bed, you entered the bathroom and settled into the warm water. The essential oils and flower petals soothed your mind and body, and you finally had some desperately needed silence to hear your own thoughts.

Last night at dinner, Baldwin was very- well, "happy" would be an understatement to how he felt near you. And all those forehead kisses and skin contact doesnt go unnoticed by you either. You suppose that since he had leprosy, he never really had or was allowed to touch anyone else. But now that hes cured, all thanks to your dumb ass, he craves the physical intimacy.

You closed your eyes as you sank deeper into the warm water. Gosh, did I really have to give him the water? Had I not done that, he would still be ridden with lepro-

Your eyes snapped open. Thats it. You just have to make sure he never drank your water in the first place! Yes! You can go back in time and sure, its always dangerous to go back in the same time period more than once, but you really dont have any other option now, do you?

After half an hour, you finally exited the bathroom and the maids practically ushered you to sit in the chair as they finally, FINALLY got to dress up the future queen of Jerusalem and after a whole hour, they're finally done. And... well you look good. Your hair has been done nicely, and a delicate golden headpiece, almost like a elegant hair band sits on top of your head. They added some color to your cheeks and lips with crushed berries. As for your clothes, they dressed you in a dark blue tunic with loose, flowing sleeves. The tunic itself was made of silk, probably brought in from the Byzantine empire and was only available to the upperclass of this time.

"I am not wearing those!" You said when they opened the jewellery boxes. There were diamonds and other precious stones adorning the earrings and necklaces.

"But princess, you must wear these. It is royal protocol for the king's bride to be, and the future queen to wear the royal jewels." The head maid said. She doesnt know that you dont plan on sticking around and if you leave wearing these jewels, who knows what havoc would that cause?

"No. I dont want to wear them."

The maids shared a look of concern. "What?" You asked them.

"Its just... his majesty picked these out for you himself. He would be mad at us if you were not wearing these." One of the younger servants spoke as she fumbled with her fingers. Through the mirror, you looked at everyone's worried expression. You doubt that someone as calm and collected as Baldwin would lose his marbles over his fiancee not wearing jewellery.

"I dont think the king would be mad at you if I dont wear some jewellery. He isnt one to get angry that easily, you know?" You said chuckling, but it died when you saw them share the same concerned looks again. This time, you turned away from the mirror to look at them directly. "What? Go on, no secrets."

Another maid mustered up the courage to mumble. "Well- it's just- the king- I mean- his majesty is calm but um-" she paused to look at the other maids for help but they all avoided eye contact. "Out with it." You said a bit sternly.

"His majesty... gets... emotional- yes, emotional! When it comes to matters concerning you."

"Emotional? What do you mean? Speak clearly, no word will get out of this room, I promise." You spoke all while glaring at the other maids to make them silently comply to not tattle on their friend.

The maid bit her lip. "His majesty... gets mad when he thinks that you're not being treated well." You gave her a look to continue. "A few weeks back, while you were strolling out in the garden, his majesty reprimanded some of his knights for not escorting you. He asked them why they weren't guarding you?"

A few weeks back? It may have made some sense for Baldwin to be protective of his bride to be, but you two weren't engaged until yesterday. And before that, his relationship with you was barely platonic, more like a king-servant thing.

"Tell her about the kitchen incident too." Another maid whispered.

"What kitchen incident?"

"Um, 2 months ago, when the kitchen had prepared a feast for his majesty, he almost fired the entire kitchen staff for serving olives with the entree." You gave them a quizzical look. "Well, his majesty had told them that you can't eat olives and had told them not to include it in the palace's food. But it was a feast to celebrate his victory and the staff thought it'd be best to add olives because the king likes them."

Your eyes widened at that. He almost fired the kitchen staff because you said you can't eat olives? I mean, it's not like you're deathly allergic, you just didn't like how tart they were and when Baldwin saw you picking them out on your plate, all you could manage to blurt out was that you can't eat them. Perhaps, he thought you had diet restrictions like him.

You huffed. That still didnt warrant such a reaction from him. "That isn't nice. Don't worry, I'll talk to him."

The maid looked at you in horror. "No! I mean, his majesty would not like that we- um..." she tried to come up with appropriate words that wouldn't be insulting. Her scrunched up face as she thought hard made you giggle.

"Fine, fine. I won't say anything to him. You have my word." You said, smiling at them assuringly.

The head maid then held out the pearl necklace to you. You sighed and nodded, and they all cheered as they started picking out the jewels for you.

Its okay. You told yourself. I can always drop them somewhere before time travelling.

-

As soon as you were dressed, one of Sibylla's lady-in-waiting came to fetch you. She hurried you, saying something along the lines of "you must see princess Sibylla right away!" And you couldn't stop her from pulling you along, so time travelling will have to wait.

"Princess Sibylla needs to see you right away, princess!" The maid said as she pulled you towards a room. Knocking on it, the door swung open and you were met with the sight of different gowns hanging on dummies with maids tending to them, and right in the center of the room was Sibylla, practically jumping on her heels.

"Y/n!" She yelled out as she ran towards you and engulfed you in a hug before her lady in waiting, the same one standing beside you, cleared her throat. It caught Sibylla's attention who gasped softly before backing away and immeadiately giving you a courtesy. "I mean, princess Y/n." You gave a nasty look to the lady in waiting before shaking your head at an embarrassed Sibylla. "You don't need to courtesy to me, princess Sibylla."

She immeadiately beamed. "Of course I do! You're not going to be just my sister in law, you're also going to be Queen of Jerusalem! Of course i bow to you."

Me, a queen? Yeah, we'll see about that.

"Still, I consider us friends before anything else." You offerer her a small smile. "You called for me?"

"Oh? Oh, yes!" She immeadiately grabbed your hand and pulled you further into the room. "I didn't know what colours and material you preferred, so I ordered them to bring everything with the best seamstresses in kingdom!" She pointed at the seamstresses, who bowed to you.

"But... I don't need clothes. I already have a wardrobe." Your statement made Sibylla laugh as did a few of her hand maidens.

"Ahh, you're so naive!" Sibylla giggled. "That wardrobe doesn't exist anymore. You're a princess, soon to be queen, you need a royal wardrobe!" She said as she dragged her hand over one of the gowns, feeling the material. "And! You still have to select your bridal gown!"

For the next 3 hours, Sibylla had the maids show you different gowns and materials, even helping by giving her input as to what would suit you.

"I still like my old clothes, they're quite comfortable." You sighed. Designing your new wardrobe was not something that needed your urgent attention at the moment. You need to return to your room and get the time machine from your old dress and leave this era.

Sibylla nods. "I understand what you're going through. I still remember how they burned away my entire wardrobe when I married Guy. But I suppose its poetic in a way. Since you're starting a new life, so why not start one by getting new clothes!"

Wait.

"They burnt all your old clothes?" Sibylla nods. "Mmhmm! In a way, you're burning away your past! And starting a new-" You didn't stick around as you immeadiately rushed out of the room and made your way towards your own.

You can't- your old clothes has your time machine. If they burn it, you can't ever leave!

You burst into your room, looking at the empty spot on your bed where you'd left your clothes before going in the bath.

"No." The maids, they must've put it in your closet. You searched it, searched your entire room but to no avail.

A maid walked into your room, watching you tear apart the bedroom. "P-princess? May I help-"

"Where are my clothes?!" You walked upto her, the poor maid's fright apparently on her face. "WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!?"

"They- they're burning it-"

"WHERE?!"

"The gardens!"

You ran out of your room, and made your way towards the royal gardens as fast as you could, but with how huge this palace was, getting there took a while. Not to mention when you did get to the gardens, you didn't spot anyone there, but you did notice the smell of something burning, which lead you to the back of the gardens, that was away from everyone's sight.

There you found them, two maids burning your clothes in a small bonfire.

"PUT IT OUT!" You yelled as you rushed towards them, startling them.

"Princess-" they began bowing.

"Didn't you hear me? PUT THE FIRE OUT!" They scrambled about trying to find some water, but of course, they didn't have it.

"I'll get it from the fountain!" The two maids ran to get a bucket of water for you, but it would be too late by the time they came. So when you spotted your old dress burning, you pulled it out with bare hands, not caring about burning yourself.

The dress was mostly burnt to ashes, while only few bits remained that were still on fire. You managed to wrangle out your time machine out of it, the small metal box that was burning hot and left marks on your skin as you tried to hold it.

But even from here, you could see the damage was done. The area that displayed the year had now completely melted off, as did some of the buttons.

No. No. No. No. No. NO!

You couldn't help but cry as reality began to set in. You're stuck here.... you're stuck here forever.

Heart wrenching sobs wracked your body as you tried to hold the hot metal machine in your hands, your skin burning as you tried. Even when the servants came and poured the water on the fire, you still kept on crying, clutching your machine to your chest, partly to conceal it, partly from helplessness.

The maids looked at each in worry as they tried to console you, tried to pacify you, lest you had them executed. But it didn't matter, you were inconsolable. While one of the maids sat by your side, trying to soothe you, the other one ran in to get help.

Moments later, when you were able to hide the machine in your clothes again, someone came up and touched your shoulder from behind.

"Y/n?" You looked up through your tears. It was Baldwin. For some reason, seeing him only made you cry harder as you finally realised that you were stuck here with him. That you fucked up permanently.

"Oh princess. What's wrong? Don't cry- shhh, I'm here." He pulled your body towards him, letting you sob into his chest heartbreakingly. Exhaustion, frustration and shock must have overtook your body, as you fainted in his arms.

"Princess? Y/n?" He tried waking you up before collecting you in his arms and rushing back into the castle.

-

Hours later, you woke up to find yourself back in your room, lying in your bed. Your eyes looked down at your hands which were now wrapped in bandages. They only served as a reminder of what youd lost- your time machine.

Tears welled up in your eyes again. Am I- am I really stuck here? You sniffled.

A hand came up to caress your cheek, startling you.

It was Baldwin. "Princess? Do you want to tell me what happened?" His soft tone made you even more sad, and you raised your bandaged hands to wipe your tears, but he caught your wrists and lowered them back gently, using his own hands to wipe away the tears.

"No, you cant use your hands for sometime. The burns need to heal." His hand remained on your cheek, thumb caressing the area under your eye. "What happened, Y/n? Why were you so upset?"

You cant avoid the topic for long, and now that your way of escape is gone, you need to be careful of what you say and how you act around the king.

You let out a shaky breath. "They... they burned my clothes."

"Mmhm. Dont worry, I will have them bring in the fanciest clothes for you. Sibylla will make sure of it. Only the best for my princess." You shook your head. "Its not- its not that... They were my clothes... they burned away-"

"I know... but its a tradition. The maids burn away the bride-to-be's old clothes to signify that youre detaching yourself from the past and starting a new life." He explained, watching as you sniffled. Clearly, you were still upset over this.

"But the maids, they still should've informed you of this tradition before doing anything. I know how emotional of a transition this could be for girls." You nodded sadly, heart still sinking at the loss of your machine. "Dont worry though, they will be punished harshly for it. I have them in the dungeons tonight, and tomorrow-"

"What? Punished? No!" You cut him off. You dont want anyone to die because of you, especially when you dont know if anyone these people could potentially be an ancestor of yours.

"But they caused you harm. You burned yourself due to their-"

"No, no. Please, don't punish anyone- I- it was my fault for not knowing about royal traditions! Please, your Majesty, I beg you- don't do this- i- i-" You pleaded.

"Shhh, okay. Okay. I won't punish them for it." He patted your hair. "On one condition."

You looked at him in confusion.

"You call me Baldwin from now on." He grinned. "We are to be husband and wife soon, I don't want us to use royal titles with each other."

Your eyes widened. Is he- is he really giving up titles? You're not that blind to see his attempts at intimacy, but what you don't understand is why or even how you came to be on the receiving end of it.

What exactly is it about you that has made him want to marry you? Surely, Baldwin would've preferred to marry someone of this era, someone who is more compatible with him. Despite you trying to blend in the past months, you allowed Baldwin to see how you're not... as Conservative as most people of this time period are. One could say that he may be impressed by how intelligent you are than others, but it also brings up the factor of being "threatened" or "insulted" by the same intelligence.

Even though you consider beauty to be a "subjective" thing, the whole "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", you're not blind to how attractive others are. So why not them?

Did he only like you because you're intriguing? Does he still think you're a spy? Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer?

Probably. Or maybe he really does believe all that mumbo jumbo about you being "an angel sent to save him."

"As you wish... Baldwin."

-

Last night, after Baldwin had left you to rest, you stayed up and tried to figure out if you can fix your time machine, and if not, then can you built another one?

Fucking hell. You closed your eyes. I made it once, I can build it again. But it's easier said than done.

Back in the present, you had the technology to build it. Now? You have to first make the technology and the tools from scratch before you could even get on making your time machine, all while keeping your science project discrete, which was easier before because you weren't going to be married to a fucking King!

Right now, you're sitting in Baldwin's private dining room (yes, there are more than one dining room. He's royalty, what did you expect) having breakfast- well, being fed breakfast.

"You really don't need to do this." You said as Baldwin fed you another spoonful. He smiled as he wiped your lips with a napkin. "I don't need to, I want to. Besides, I don't want my princess starving."

Involuntary, your face flushed. "I- the maids could've fed me. And im not a princess." He frowned slightly. "Why would you- open wide, princess- why would you want the maids to feed you when you have me?" He pushed the spoon to your face as you parted your lips, but then he pulled it away and brought his face close to yours. "Do I make you nervous?"

You backed away immediately. "I- no- I mean-"

He burst out laughing. "I'm- I'm sorry princess, but you are just too endearing!" Baldwin chuckled as he grabbed the spoon again and fed you.

Your cheeks reddened, this time more out anger than embarrassment. "I don't want to eat anymore." You muttered, turning your face away.

He smiled as he brought the spoon to your lips again. "Ah ah, but you still haven't had enough." However, you rejected again, looking away instead of replying.

He sighed, placing the spoon back on the plate. "I'm sorry, princess. I shouldn't have laughed at you."

"You shouldn't have." You mumbled, face still turned away from him.

His lips quirked up a bit. "You know, for someone who insists that she's not a princess-" He turned your face to him gently. "- you sure have all the blandishment of one."

"Blandishment?"

"Flattering actions of a princess." He nodded.

You frowned. "Are you calling me a spoiled princess? A brat?"

"I would never!" Baldwin gasped. "I enjoy you acting like royalty, demanding respect and attention. You deserve it and more. Besides-" He picked up some food on the spoon again and brought it to your lips. "Even if if you were a spoiled, bratty princess, I wouldn't mind. I would enjoy spoiling you, hm?" He nudged the spoon to your lips softly.

You parted your lips, making him smile. It really is hard to stay mad at him when he looks at you with his baby blue eyes. They just- they draw you in.

"Also, before I forget, I will be leaving the castle today to meet Salauddin. So you can either hand out with Sibylla, who still wants to help you design your wedding gown, or your can-"

Salauddin? "Why are you meeting Salauddin? Isn't he your enemy?"

He chuckled. "Only on the battlefield. He and I have developed a friendship, or a mutual respect over the years. As to why I'm going to meet him, is... well, you."

"Me?" He nodded. "Since you told me that you're a Muslim, I thought that we could perhaps have a discreet Islamic wedding- what is it called? Nikkah? So, I could go and learn more about it from Salauddin."

You opened your mouth to protest. You don't need to be part of history as the "king of Jerusalem's Muslim wife" or "the Muslim-Christian wedding that took place during the Crusades", even if it might make the world more progressive.

But then, you didn't protest. "Can I come?"

Baldwin raised a brow at you. "You want to meet Salauddin?" You shook you're head. "Well, no, not really. I mean, I don't mind meeting him, but I just want to get out of the castle for a bit. It's been months since i left this place, I just want to get some fresh air." This could be the perfect opportunity for you, because if memory serves you right, Muslims of this era had made significant advances in science. Maybe you can use their help to get some tools to make the time machine again.

Baldwin looked unsure. "I don't know if it would be safe for you-" you held his hand with your bandaged ones. "Please, Baldwin? Can't you take me with you? And wouldn't I be the most safe when I'm with you?" Ah yes, stroke the male ego.

Finally, he smiled.

"Alright. I supposed it would be fine, after all, you should see the kingdom you're going to be the queen of."

Thoughts? (Also, I need to go shower rn, so I'll put the read more later. Doing so much effort for u guys, my spoiled greedy children)

Part 3 is here.

#yandere baldwin #yandere king baldwin #male yandere #yandere male #yandere x reader #yandere x #yandere x darling #yandere #baldwin iv

[intrinsicepiphany]

Okay tumblr lets talk theories again.

(my brain rot + knowledge of religion has me all up in Hazbin Hotel right now.)

Today I want to talk Biology! Mostly because I made the poor choice of going to Twitter's chaggie tag and looking at the comments...

So can we discuss Why do so many people keep trying to apply HUMAN biology to the Half-Demon Nephillim daughter of an Arch-Angel?!

Okay I'll start at the begining and work my way to the reasons why if Charlie really wants a kid with Vaggie both of them being assigned female at creation probably isn't going to matter.

Let's start with Lucifer!

So as far as has been shown in the show Lucifer is an original Archangel even down to his lovely 6 red wings. This makes him one of the most powerful beings in heaven.

(If we go by bible text he was actually a favorite until his dreams of free will led him astray and depending on the text he merely has to admit he was wrong and ask for forgiveness to return)

Now looking at everything after this fall he has never lost his Angelic Abilities. His default powers are still angelic gold.

We do see he also has a Full Demon form when he is pissed. Interestingly enough his crown also doubles as a halo in this form. Also note for later just how much Charlie resembles him in both forms.

This suggest that at root biology Lucifer is still an archangel with demon traits. This combination is most likely what makes him the strongest being in hell by a long shot. The only reason others even have power is purely because he doesnt care enough to flex his power and has no desire to actually rule.

Now on to Lilith!

What do we know about Lilith?

Well we know she was a created human not born.

She was Adam's equal

And she left and got with Lucifer before the fall.

So here is the deal... I dont think Lilith can be classified as a sinner. She didnt die to end up in hell and in fact she fell before hell was really a thing. she helped create it after all. (Plus you know Charlie exsists)

So what IS Lilith? I think Lilith as one of a few Actual Demons. And if we have to classify her she'd be closer to a Sin. I actually think of Lilith as the Sin of Pride in Hazbin Hotel not Lucifer. We are even told that She created pentagram city and developed hell while lucifer kept to his workshop in depression.

Now let's talk about this scene for a second. Lilith fell from heaven/earth Alive and possibly even immortal since human kind was immortal before Eve took the apple.

Lilith gains power from her fall into hell. She develops demon like attributes and seems to have musical based magic. She also seems to retain or get immortality. So what does this fall mean? It means that Lilith was NOT HUMAN by the time Charlie was born.

So what does this mean for Charlie?

Well for one Charlie is NOT just some Hellborn. She is by Definition a Nephilim but she is not half-human. She would most likely be considered a Half-Demon, Half-Angel Nephilim.

This would explain her expansive (if never used) power base. The official power ranking has her tied with Lilith with only Lucifer being more powerful. Which makes complete sense. She is the Heir to the entire thing after all. (I actually think this is why Alastor couldnt make a deal for her soul and settled for a favor instead)

She also inheirited Angelic powers from her father. As seen by the fact that her default magic is gold. Which means she has angel blood in her veins. Lets be honest i wouldnt be surprised if she ended up bleeding gold in the future.

In fact she seems to have inherited most of her abilities from dear old dad.

Im pretty sure that just by shear ability and magic if Charlie wanted a kid she could probably create/magic one into exsistance no matter who her partner was.

But lets review Vaggie just for fun! Because I have thoughts

What do we actually know about Vaggie?

Well we know she is an angel. I say is because I dont think Lute or Adam actually have the power to cast an angel out of heaven AND she gets her wings back. This would mean she is not actually a sinner she would be closer to a fallen angel like lucifer.

We know she speaks Spanish and seems to be of Hispanic nature. BUT! Do we know if she was ever really human?!

We know Adam claims to have named her Vaggie. This could suggest three things

1) exorcist take on a new name when they join. But if this was true why wouldnt she leave this name behind and return to her human name once in hell? It would have kept her secret better and you'd figure she would want to leave behind the negative feelings that would come with her exorcist name.

2) Adam in his self-centered ways misheard her real name (maybe something like Aggie from Agatha or Maggie) and thought she said Vaggie or actively chose to misinterpret her name and she never cared to correct him. BUT Once more why would she not just return to her real name once with Charlie in hell?

Or 3) And this one is the real kicker. Vaggie is a Heaven-born Angel.

If the answer is 3 than it would imply that she was never human which brings her closer to lucifers biology.

Some other interesting things to consider about this last theory. Lute and Vaggie resemble each other a great deal. In fact, all the exorcist seem to have a similar body type. (I mean you could argue its the uniform but even without the uniform the resembalance between lute and vaggie is uncanny) and if I remember correctly at one point the exterminators are refered to as sister? I mean this could mean sisters-in-arms BUT What if ALL exorcist were heaven-born?

If they were never human this could explain both their ability and their desire to slay sinners. Much like Sera they wouldn't have any sympathy for the dammed because they wouldn't have any possible family that could end up down there. They would also have Very little connection to or concern for former humans. After all like Adam said they had their chance and they screwed up.

So in the end what does this all mean?

Well I actually already kind of said it

1) Fandom really needs to stop applying human biology to Charlie. She is a half demon half archangel Nephilim with incredible magic.

If charlie wants a kid she can probably magic one up no matter the obsticles please stop asking artist and writers how it is possible for her and vaggie to have a kid/get pregnant if they are both women - the answer is Charlie Magic.

2) all 4 of the above have the potential to be way stronger than they have been shown in the show.

And

3) Charlie is a potential BadAss and is just too nice to go full tactical nuke - this will be covered in my next ted talk.

#hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #lucifer morningstar #lilith morningstar #vaggie #chaggie

[cyberdragoninfinity]

I'm sorry but WHAT is happening in Duel Links??

*CRACKS KNUCKLES* ALRIGHT im certain other people could explain this better than I could (bark at me if any of this is wrong,) but, an attempt at a quick rough tl;dr of it:

so like. an important thing to note with DL is that like..... the in-universe explanation for Duel Links is that it's one of Seto Kaiba's new VR Next Evolution of Dueling Ego Projects, which like, ok sure, he Makes Those, but what's a little alarming with this one is that technically (almost) none of the characters In The Game are actually Those Characters Specifically, they're AI recreations of them with their original self's memories (that's already a lot, right out the gate.) (I say "almost" everyone because I think it's implied DSOD Kaiba and maybe Mokuba actually Are them because it's Their Game and they're always product testing it, there might be others though)

anyway another thing with this situation is that, uh, Most Characters in Duel Links Do Not Know They're AI. They just assume they're the original guy, that's just them! Hanging out in this cool new Duel VR! But then sometimes you DO get characters who actively are aware that they're just code in a video game (Yami Bakura and Bruno 5D's both comment on it), so you have this really interesting ecosystem of duelists who Are aware they don't really exist, and duelists who are None the Wiser. absolutely batshit.

and sure this is all well and fine with like, DM and maybe GX characters, ok sure it makes sense Kaiba would be recreating notable duelists of that era, but i cannot stress enough He Is Also Making AI Recreations of Dead People. DL very much takes place post-manga, post-DSOD. But Yami Yugi is There. Yami Bakura and Yami Marik are Very There. Manga Pegasus is there. Seto "I Will Never Learn to Come to Terms With Grief" Kaiba is actively raising the dead in his little VR card game simulator so they can live forever and there's a 50/50 chance they'll be FULLY AWARE that they died. JESUS.

There's also the hulking elephant in the room of Duel Links Has Been Including Characters From Series Kaiba Has Nothing to Do With For Quite Some Time Now--and a lot of those characters are like HEY. WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE. like I SWEAR someone from either Zexal or Arv-V was actively like "hi what the hell is KaibaCorp" so like...Kaiba's branding is ALL OVER THE VR WORLD EVEN IN THE WORLDS HE DIDNT EXIST IN. It's painting this absolute off the rails picture of Seto Kaiba trying to create this virtual multiverse of The Best Duelists From Every Timeline Living or Dead, and half the guys he's pulling in at this point are like *spawns into a perfect recreation of their hometown with no real idea of who did this* "what in the goddamn."

like guys from zexal/arc-v are actively IN GAME like trying to figure out why this VR world exists and who created it. It's absolutely wild and fascinating to watch. excited to see what happens when they add VRAINS world next month?!?!? idk anything about VRAINS really but it's probably going to make the DL lore even more bananas.

ANYWAY. ALL OF THAT SAID. NOW WE HAVE MAXIMILLION PEGASUS DROPPING IN-GAME OMINOUS SENTIMENTS it's kind of a culmination of all of the aforementioned shit. Duel Links Pegasus (an AI recreation of manga!Pegasus, who is fully aware A.) that's he's dead and B.) that there's multiple worlds and timelines crammed into this Virtual Reality) has a conversation with Paradox (an AI recreation of Paradox the Bonds Beyond Time Yugioh Movie Bad Guy, who, for all intents and purposes, fully believes he's the real dude and he wants to kill-die-explode-murder Pegasus SO BAD) breaking down that "hey, this place unites different histories, and if you kill me duel monsters won't cease to exist. Anyway, I'm not real! Ohoho! This world holds threads of tragedy, Paradox-boy!" <-- (not verbatim. but i wish it was.) Meanwhile Paradox is having a sputtering breakdown right next to him. This is a video game to play yugioh the trading card game.

like. it's just absolutely wild. konami could have just said "hey heres yugioh characters from every series. whatever" but no instead they threw in a bunch of mild psychological horror and inter-series friction and existentialism and it's a freemium video game that i have 600+ hours on on steam. yugioh duel links !

#ygo posting #wow! that was not quick or a tl;dr at all! SORRY DFGHDGF #i guess the real tl;dr is ''seto kaiba is mentally unwell and now he's making it Every Yugioh Character's Problem." lmao #honey-bunnysaurus #asks #anyway i wish someone would make a DL lore video essay so bad...really the only DL video content out there right now #is strictly about the meta of the card game (which dont get me wrong is also fascinating in its own right) #but i wanna see someone talk about the absolute insane lore that is happened directly outside of the actual card game!!! #i wanna be vindicated that im not the only person noticing this!!!! #duel links

[lolita-lollipop]

OK so I just read your last fic thing with Hizashi and Aizawa kidnapping a teenager and her preferring Hizashi over Aizawa and I love it!!! It's so fucking good and the flow and everything is amazing!!!

Not a request: just a funny concept: imagine Y/N preferring Aizawa over Hizashi and Hizashi is like ????? Bc he's the FUN parent dammit, why is their bby cuddling up to quiet and boring Aizawa?? And Mic being super annoyed when their bby doesn't want to cuddle up to him or relax with him and choosing to curl up next to Aizawa lmfao

😂😂😂😂 Just a funny idea

YANDERE PLATONIC ERASERMIC X READER (DRABBLE)

 If this isn’t facts I don’t know what is.  Mic knew when they agreed that Aizawa would give out punishments, that hizashi would immediately be the natural favorite. Because he’s the one to save you from your punishments, he’s the one to tell you that it’s okay and that he thinks your father was being mean too. 

Hizashi was always the one there to reassure you that you would be okay, he was always the one to give you a snack and some water after you got in trouble, and he was the one to wipe your tears when you were crying. 

So imagine his shock when you seem to prefer Aizawa over him. It's just the little things at first, when the three of you eat dinner together you sit closer to him, when it's time for bed you ask him to read you stories, you let him sit next to you when you were with the cats. You never let Mic though. 

then, as months progressed,  your favoritism became oh-so evident. It was almost like you actively avoided mic, and sought out Aizawa, which was so surreal to mic. Aizawa is the one who lectures you and makes you sit in the corner till you're crying your eyes out. So why. The hell. Do you. Like him. 

It was just so aggravating, how Aizawa let you lie down in his lap while he stroked your hair and kept you warm. The two of you never even talked! He was so fun and interesting, he loved cracking jokes and making you laugh and tickling you! Why did you choose him?

It gets on his nerves, whenever he sees you cuddling close to aizawa, when he sees aizawa letting you help him in the kitchen, when you stop crying when he comes around, and start again when mic does. Don't get him wrong, he loves you with all his heart, and he loves his husband too, but when both are pretty much icing him out (mainly you), that just pisses him off. 

The funny thing is though, you don't even really like aizawa, in fact, you almost hate him, and you hate that your mind wants you to love him. Mic’s original plan of making you have favoritism towards him completely and utterly backfired, instead of showing more affection towards mic, it was towards aizawa. 

Maybe it's just because aizawa was so much like you, of course you were a giant hero who could crush you in between his fingers, but you were so quiet, and sometimes solitude made more of a statement than talking ever did. Aizawa understood that. And he knew sometimes just curling up by a fire in silence with back rubs was better than talking. Hizashi didnt. 

Slowly the favoritism becomes becomes evident to both parents, and aizawa, while not intentionally, rubs it in Mics face, excluding him, doing cute things with you, knowing you wouldnt like him being there. 

And mic, we all know as a yandere, mic is very unstable, and as  you wear him down, the psychosis just elevates until he is held up by a string prepared to snap. And when it snaps, it's not good for anybody. 

He literally begins forcing  you to do things with him, you sit by aizawa at the dinner table? he tugs the back of your shirt to be closer with himlike a cat. You ask aizawa to read you a story? Youre getting Mic, and possibly a scolding if you complain about it. And even if you whine when he hugs you and the cats, or sits close to you when you watch Tv, he is doing it either way. 

And the more you complain about your “new favorite” (self proclaimed of course), the more your freedoms get taken away from you, maybe it means you have to be strapped down to eat dinner, maybe it means you don't get any outside time, maybe it means no TV, maybe you have to sleep in their room now. Eventually you learn that you cant play favorites, not when both of them are teetering on the edge of insanity. 

You'll learn to love them equally, 

You'll have to. 

#yandere parents #yandere obsession #soft yandere aizawa #aizawa #shouta aizawa #yandere shouta aizawa #platonic yandere aizawa #yandere erasermic #erasermic #soft yandere #platonic yandere #platonic obsession #protective #jealousy #mic #present mic #yandere mic #yandere present mic #yandere x reader #platonic yandere x reader #platonic yandere erasermic #soft yandere mic #yandere mha #protective yandere

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Okay, second post, this ones mostly about Feyre because honestly, as of chapter 3 I havent really noticed Tamlin being out of character and from what Ive heard his character assassination was supposed to happen very quickly. Idk, right now he just seems like the same guy but traumatized although I'll fully admit that I didnt care that much for him outside of the Feylin romance (which was pretty sweet but too boring for me) so maybe I just didnt pay enough attention to him to fully grasp his character

Feyre is frustrating to me right now because I dont think shes out of character either, right now shes also just the same woman but traumatized, but like, I already know the extent to which her character will be bent for the sake of Rhysand. In these first three chapters she literally thinks something along the lines of "What's there for me to do but sit at home and spend Tamlin's money" Tell me, what does she end up doing in the night court huh????

Another thing thats frustrating is that Feyre clearly has issues communicating her feelings and wants, I know because I also had issues with that, and instead of learning that very valuable skill of telling others about your inner world and trying to work on her relationships (with both Tamlin and with her sisters), shes just gonna end up with a guy who can read her mind so theres no need for her to challenge herself and grow in any way. Yay. One thing especially stuck out to me in this regard was her attituide towards wearing dresses. Feyre does not like wearing dresses, its not like she never got to wear them back at home even though she wanted to, she just doesnt like wearing them in her day-to-day life, but she feels like she has to because she thinks its what Tamlin wants and because she thinks that if she wears pants its gonna somehow signal to the citizens of the spring court that something is incredibly wrong. But again, she doesnt tell anyone this, she doesnt ask Tamlin if he can just explain to everyone that everything is fine and that Feyre just has an unconventional way of dressing, which he would probably be fine with if its still the same guy from the first book. And it doesnt even seem like Tamlin directly made any kind of comment to her about the dresses she wears, she just saw that he was happy when he saw her wear them, which couldve well been him being happy to see her in general but she doesnt even consider that

Theres also the fact that its very unclear what she wants/what her problem is. Now, this actually isnt something that bothers me that much on its own, Feyre is traumatized and lost, obviously she doesnt know exactly what she wants at this point beyond "the situation Im in sucks and makes me feels bad, I want to get out", I think what bothers me is mostly the knowledge that Tamlin is gonna get blamed for a lot of this stuff when its really not his fault.

And I do want to make it clear that I dont think hes doing a great job handling this situation, I know a lot of people in the acotar critical sphere find his actions understandable and justifiable from his perspective and thats true, but hes still doing a bad job handling Feyre's emotional state. Like, one of your beloved's main issues is that she feels horrible because she feels trapped at home, for the love of god just let her go outside on her own. Maybe send her to village thats far inland or close to the border to the mortal realm, surely those monsters are not gonna manage to come that far if youre all going on patrols to kill them as soon as possible. And even if they do, the people of any village are gonna bend over backwards in order to protect their capital c Cursebreaker, shes gonna be fine

But, to get back to my original point, even if Tamlin was a daemati or whatever like Rhys and could read her mind the way she needs it to be read, he would still not be able to figure out what exactly Feyre needs right now because she doesnt know it herself! I literally read all of her thoughts and I dont know! Does she want to help others and be responsible for a whole bunch of people because its what shes always known to do? Does she want to avoid resonsibility for now because she wants to recover from her traumatic childhood of having the responsibility of keeping her family alive on top of all the new UTM-trauma? Its hard to say and that makes sense for Feyre at this point in her life, but she cant just blame people for not understanding her when she doesnt properly understand herself and refuses tl verbalize her feelings

Anyway, thats it for today, hope you enjoyed this

#anti acomaf #anti sjm #anti feysand #feyre critical #tamlin critical #flames and darkness liveblog

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

so i've seen a post that says that you can't say that karna gets treated better than arjuna, and that karna is haunted by arjuna in the narrative. I can't reblog the post but I respectfully disagree with it and I'm going to explain why.

the first point is fate/apocrypha. in this, karna compares siegfried to an opponent he once knew during their duel. in the post, it's argued that he projected siegfried onto arjuna and that's now his main interest throughout the series. however, karna's main interest in the series isn't just seigfried (although he did want to fight him again, which is why he fights sieg) but rather to have strong battles in general. it's also ignoring his confrontations with vlad, his decision to stay with the red faction and why (to protect the master he is no longer contracted to) and his interactions with Semiramis and Amakusa. his comparison of siegfried with arjuna, while significant, is not so massive that you can accurately say that it negates every other aspect of his characterization in the story. the most important thing it achieved is that it makes him very interested in fighting him, and when he decides he wants siegfried as a rival and the saber dies he later challenges sieg as he can channel the warrior. its disingenuous to say that arjuna is haunting karna's narrative when he doesnt appear at all beyond a single offhand remark.

the next point is that arjuna gets the costumes. this one is just wrong? karna has two costumes, although i hesitate to call the second one a proper costume. Burning Garment of Three Gods is in fact the first free story costume you receive in fgo, unlike most other costumes which you receive through limited time events, and the glasses costume is from an event where he again gets a (minor) role. while both arjuna's alts have a costume each that doesnt negate karna having costumes?

the next thing is a bit rough. 'arjuna gets the character arcs in fgo.' this one is true. its also because arjuna is the fgo original and karna had 2 previous fate entries to receive characterization in, so him receiving it was less of an required focus than it was for a brand new character who had nothing. at the same time, i do agree that karna needs to have more done with him in the game.

the next one is also very rough. in it, the op mentions that arjuna got a lostbelt that karna received poor treatment in. I do agree that how karna was treated, namely being dead for most of the chapter and only brought back for one big battle before being killed again was very poor handling. however....arjuna alter was also really poorly handled? he was offscreen for most of the lostbelt, his motivations were both incredibly unclear and required you to have played the interlude of another ssr, he was given no depth of character or internal consistency, and they didnt give you any greater understanding of who he was or why he behaved the way he did. he is generally agreed among most fate fans to be the most weakly written of the lostbelt kings, and its in part because rather than tell us anything about arjuna's life, indian history or mythology, or the mahabharata, they once again retrod the karna vs arjuna plotline. just because he's the lostbelt king doesnt mean he was done better than karna-if anything, his treatment was potentially worse because while karna's one dimensional handling set him up as a noble hero, arjuna alter's set him up as an unreasonable villain. saying that karna is used as a crutch for arjuna requires also acknowledging how arjuna is constantly and consistently used to enhance karna since the minute he was added to fgo, which is how you get titles he was never called by like 'the endowned hero' (it may be a poor translation of one of his actual names, Dhanañjaya, which means one who conquered wealth and gold but i doubt it) and why one of the first things that's mentioned whenever arjuna shows up is that he killed karna, when thats only one of his achievements and not even the most notable one.

which brings me to my next point: karna is handled one dimensionally in fgo. but it is always as a misunderstood hero, and arjuna is primarily handled as his supporting cast, whether as a jealous villan or long suffering straightman. if you are going to show frustration at people who are glad arjuna got content independently of karna, you need to acknowledge that out of the 23 odd events and story chapters arjuna has showed up in, only around 5 have not also included karna and out of the 8 that arjuna alter has been in, only 4 have not had karna in them. karna has been in 27 events, and 9 have not included arjuna-its not a large amount, but its still the same amount that arjuna and his alter have put together without him. Arjuna in fate, especially at the time of his creation, existed as a supplementary unit to further enhance karna's story as a hero who was oppressed by others, which is how you get things like this

while both their profiles have a heavy focus on the other, karna's talks about his actual life and history to a far higher degree than arjuna's does, while arjuna's fully devolves into his resentment and dislike of karna. he was first as foremost written as 'karna's obsessive rival' to further expand karna and karna specifically, and the later focus on trying to give him more depth was because he was popular and they wanted to do more with him. there was no consideration for who he was historically or his real personality or feats, there was no consideration for what he actually was- they wrote him as a person who would, in his own words 'become the darkness' to karna's light simply for the sake of it

THAT is why fans of arjuna want more content of him independently of karna. is it true that karna has his own issues with his writing? yes! but that doesnt change the fact that for a very long time, arjuna has been twisted from his mythogical origins in fate to make him someone that he simply isnt, and thats what people want to see less of. no amount of poorly executed ssrs or events they both get shortchanged in to emphasis them hitting each other with sticks will change the base issue with arjuna's writing until fate acknowledges this.

and to be clear, i dont think its wrong to be upset that karna doesnt get a lot of in depth expansion in fgo. but that isn't the fault of arjuna, and it's really unfair to try and say that with how often arjuna has been used as a plot device to show how unfairly biased people are at karna

#my post #arjuna posting #im sorry this just. it bothers me like its ok to be annoyed but its really not his fault like ??? #idk why i cant reblog so you all get a contextless essay <3 yayyy

[marvelstars]

Anakin and the Force Lore

There´s a strong belief in fandom which takes for granted that Anakin was some violence inclined jock who only cared for lightsaber training without caring or getting deep into the lore of Jedi beliefs but I belive this take is wrong because canon doesn´t support this.

EP I Anakin asks Qui-Gon what a midiclorian is, how the force works, he asks Yoda what it means to be afraid and it´s interested in knowing what a chosen one is supposed to be.

In the Obi-Wan and Anakin comics he explains to Obi-Wan he sees the Jedi and the Sith as two parts or clans of the force because of their mutual origin and that they have the same problem of comunication as the people the were trying to help get along, "the open and the close" who had been fighting the same war for so many centuries that they didn´t remember why they were fighting in the first place but there was a lot of hurt for them to stop.

This may sound naive but makes sense for the jedi the sith are dead people walking with no hope of getting back to life but what the story shows us in the end is that there´s a possibility even for sith to get back if they chose to do so. The Sith are shown in some cases like Maul or Vader and even Sidious as the result of generational trauma and grooming that do evil but even them can come back.

We see Anakin talking with Padme about Jedi philosophy on EP II and actually give his own take about compassion being unconditional love which is his way of mixing his Mother guidance with Jedi beliefs.

He teaches Ahsoka the meaning of Yoda sayings and how to complement their Jedi formation with the natural worry for their men and fellow Jedi in a war. Searching to help the most people they could.

When he married Padme he knew he had to leave the Jedi Order after the war was done because they didn´t allow marriage and he wasn´t going to ask them to change this rule for his marriage and he truly wanted a life with Padme, be her husband and built a family with her.

In ROTS he wasn´t interested in the master and council post, he told Palpatine the Jedi were tired of his reforms but Palpatine imposed it on him and the Council.

What he didn´t like was the way the Council rejected him once again, showing that no matter what he did in the war for the Order or the Republic, they didn´t trust him. He tells Padmé "The Jedi Council doesn´t trust me" which is a call back to the time he was 9 and was rejected, not "The Jedi Council didnt make me a Master" his only interest in becoming a Master was getting access to the Jedi library to see if there was something there to help save Padmé.

Imo fandom listens too much to Obi-Wan´s expressions about Anakin only "thinking with his lightsaber" Obi-Wan loves Anakin but he also teased him a lot and sometimes he was also a jerk to him, Anakin was a person who honestly got into the lore of Jedi knownledge to learn their ways and understand their pov´s and even as Vader he didn´t believe the Jedi Order beliefs were wrong, he believes they betrayed their own beliefs but this doesn´t mean he doesn´t accept at least to himself, that he betrayed them.

As Vader he went so deep into the lore of the Sith he could travel in time and learned to use elemental forces as well as the link between life and death. He learned the relationship between master and apprentice and actually told Palpatine he didn´t see the need to keep the rule of Bane if that meant he had to kill him. He also developed a closer relationship with the force because he needed it to live and breathe.

No matter the side of the pendulum, Anakin simply wasn´t some brute who cared about knowing how to fight and nothing more, that´s a bad read on his character, he was very intellectually involved in matters that excited him or he felt he had a responsibility to learn.

#anakin skywalker #star wars #darth vader #jedi lore #sith lore #jedi order #sith order

[sonknuxadow]

Nine isn't evil, he just wants to live. Sonic is literally planning on erasing him and the world he's from and expected him just to tag along. Sure you could argue that what Nine is doing is incredible selfish but he's from a world where you had to be selfish to survive.

honestly i wonder if sonic even fully understands the implications of what hes doing and what would happen to nine and everyone else if he went through with his plan? because he seems confused about why nine is upset, and also talks to nine about his old friends as if hes gonna get to meet them someday. which obviously he wont since presumably bringing back the old world will make the shatterverse disappear. unless he didnt mean that literally idk

and sonic isnt in the wrong for wanting to fix the world and get his friends back to normal, but nine's hesitance to help is also understandable because the situation is obviously gonna look very different to someone who doesnt remember the original world at all

#and i know the original green hill seemingly came back for a few seconds #but i dont believe the world ACTUALLY went back to normal in that moment #because 1. the entire prism wasnt put back together like theyre saying needs to happen to fix everything #2. ghost hill may LOOK like green hill but its still a shatterspace. and theres remains of green hill in most other shatterspaces #asks #sonic prime #sonic prime spoilers #for context this ask was in response to something i posted last night about people Saying nine is evil i never said nine is evil

[jhscdood]

i woke up in a Bad Headspace today and imma use by blog to vent about it like it's livejournal circa 2004.

tw for discussion of medical stuff

- I hate xmas. I'm jewish but my dad is not and the pressure to have An Perfect Xmas every year and the disappointment every year just grosses me out now. Not even going to talk about american xtian hegemony but there's some of that in there too.

- Today i began to suspect that the awesome new migraine med that actually stops my weather-induced migraines might also be interfering with the efficiacy of my prediabetes meds. or maybe im wrong and im Just That Fucking Exhausted.

- Spouse spent all last week recovering from a severe medication allergy and hives on 70% of his body. and steroids Do Not Agree with him so it was just. a wild time. terrifying af. stood over him with an EpiPen basically the entire time.

- 3 days before The Hives, i scratched my cornea while pruning bushes and that right there is a pain i do not ever want to revisit. had to go to the optometrist and get The Goo.

- 2 days before Cornea i had my first Botox For Migraine treatment. 31 injections to the face, neck and shoulders. it stung but it was over in like 4 minutes. takes 3 sessions to start kicking in. sessions are 12 weeks apart. so i guess we'll find out in August if it's working.

- day before Botox i had an ENT appointment and he stuck a camera up my nose and then diagnosed me with a weird vocal cord paralysis thing so now i have to go back to speech therapy for the first time in 26 years.

- Week before that, saw my neurologist and she diagnosed me with a weird intermittent lazy eye / motion lag thingamawhatsis so now i have to go to an ophthalmologist AND vision therapy.

- That week I also saw my PCP and explained to her about the intermittent abdominal pain I've been having since like 2021. She took me seriously!!! Which is good!!! But now i am scheduled for baby's first colonoscopy. And i have to keep a food journal, which i HATE because food is STUPID.

- All of the above all happened this month btw. December 1-23.

- My final appt in November was yet another ultrasound of my former left tit because there is an oil cyst at the site of my top surgery and they are VERY SURE it is a benign oil cyst but the rules require them to poke it every few months for 2-3 years.

- Before that I had a 48 hour ambulatory EEG which was the itchiest i have ever been in my LIFE. That same week our basement stairs collapsed and a contractor had to come rebuild them (up! to! code!). That same week i also went to the dentist to get my crown fitted.

- I think my MIL was in the hospital that same week, too. so that's a thing that's been going on the whole time since then.

- I spent most of October deathly ill with food poisoning thst was originally misdiagnosed as viral. I ended up with a CT scan and colitis. and, eventually, cipro. it was the sickest i have ever been in my adult life. i would rather have mono again. i fantasized about those cholera beds with the hole in the center so you didnt have to get up to have your horrid dysentery. nightmare.

- The day before that hit i had ONE golden day where i felt good and had energy. we went to temple and i got glomped by about 10 different people. my 80 year old bestie kept finding me to hug me again. Rabbi hugged me super hard.

- Before that was a root canal, and before that was a tooth infection that took 2 rounds of antibiotics to kill, and before that was the original cavity filling that started it all. the dentist kindly comped me the $172 for the filling against the $3,800 bill for the root canal + crown.

- Before that? IDEK man. I have lost track. Somewhere in there i got diagnosed with insulin resistance which explained my HORRENDOUSLY TERRIBLE fatigue and cloudiness and waking up starving every 3 hours. The meds they gave me changed that literally overnight. it was a miracle. which is why im freaking out about the new migraine med possibly counteracting that. i spent the entirety of last summer in a fog. several of my very good friends visited and all i could do was nap on them. i couldnt go anywhere or do anything. it was a nightmare. i don't want to go back to that. but also i don't want to have a migraine every time the wind blows. but i would rather have a migraine 50% of the time than be back to that fatigue fogged state 100% of the time. nope nope nope.

- and amongst all of this, still having the seizures. they were going down for a while but the last week or so has been 1-2 per day. so. another checkmark in the "gee do you think you're stressed?" column.

- it is going on 10pm and I'm tired so i very likely have accidentally omitted several other things. to be fair to me, there's Quite A Bit to remember.

- so if youre wondering why i havent updated my latest fic, its partly bc i am TIRED and partly bc if i gave jason even a third of the health bullshit i have dealt with the past few months, it would absolutely defy belief. TWO kinds of eye problems AND a speech problem AND food poisoning AND dentistry?? surely no one in the world has to deal with that much!

sigh. anyway. thanks for listening. i promise i am stressed out of my GOURD but, shockingly, have not slid into any sort of depressive space. mostly im just annoyed. i spent today watching dinosaur documentaries and reorganizing my craft supplies.

tomorrow will be better. today just sucked.

#me #personal

[dudadragneel]

Hello guys! It's me!

How are. You?

And I'm back, once again! But now ,with one of my original ideas!

I hope you'll like it!

PENALTY GONE WRONG

They were all having fun recording an episode os SKZ-Talker with Rain sunbaenim. They chatted, reminded Rain that he was old. Everything was going well, until the last segment in which they all got a drink and mixed betweem them, there was a penalty drink.

Said drink unfortunately ended up in Felix's hand. He started to chug it which immediately told everyone in the room that he had gotten the penalty drink. Making even Rain subaenim laugh by the obviousness.

Ther all had fun reactions, laughing.

But none of them were expecting the turn of events that drink would cause.

Felix decided to chug it instead of spitting it out immediately. And he soon realised that that might've been one of his worst life decisions. He is known in the grouo for having a rather sensitive gag reflex, but it seemed that he had forgotten that when he decided to chug the penalty drink.

After finishing most of it, he gagged turning his face away. He thought that that was it. Just a gag, a normal reaction to a bad tasting drink.

But, unfortunately for him, his body had other plans. Without noticing, he gagged again, but this time, it brought up the drink he had just drank.

- Felix!?

Chan immediately reacted getting up from his seat.

It caught everyone by surprise, and even himself. He was in a state of shock. But everyone else's shock was turning into worriness. They all turned to him and started speaking and upon seeing his little brother obvious shock, Chan got closer to him and ordered the members to back away.

- Calm down. Give him some space.

Putting a hand on Felix shoulder Chan began asking him a few questions to assess the situation.

- Felix? What's going on?

He said getting the cup from the boy's hand.

Felix was so stunned with what had just happened he could barely gather his thoughts correctly.

- I- I dont know...

- Were you feeling sick before?

- No. I was fine.

Indeed, he was fine before. He wasnt feeling anything strange, no stomach ache, no nausea, nothing. That's why he was surprised, he didnt have any sort of warning from his body that a simple gag would bring up vomit with it.

- Okay, do you think you're going to be sick again?

Chan asked already kneeling beside him.

- I dont know. Not really.

Felix comteplated for a few seconds before looking at his brother.

- Hyung, can you take me to the bathroom?

He said defeated, he didnt exactly know what he was feeling, but he decided not to trust his body.

- Sure. let's go.

Chan stood up and helped Felix up. Putting an arm around his waist. The boy wasnt really feeling faint but he was so stunned, that his body lost strength.

- Minho-ya, Come with me.

Minho was quick to get by Felix side and grabbed him as well.

While they were heading to the bathroom, Felix started to feel strange, there was this burning sensation in his throat and his mouth was filling with saliva. He grabbed his hyungs hands for comfort and squeezed them until his knuckles turned white.

Chan and Minho were quick to notice that Felix was swallowing convulsively and kept looking forward, as if trying to control his body.

As soon as they got to the bathroom they went straight to the sink with Felix, given that his back was still injured and making him bend over a toilet was only going to make the boy feel worse.

He grabbed the edges of the sink, gripping just as tight as he did before with his hyungs hands.

Chan was quick to help him.

- Hey, hey. It's okay, we're here with you. We've got you.

Chan said reassuringly as he put his hand on Felix back and Minho was massaging his nape.

Felix didnt want to be sick because he wasnt feeling sick before to begin with. He thought that if it was just his gag reflex acting up, there was no need to be sick anymore. He squeezed his eyes shut, and tried to take deep, controlled breaths, while swallowing down the urge to vomit again.

- Hey. Dont hold it in. If it's making you feel bad you need to let it out. Trust me, okay?

Chan said rubbing Felix's back from his lower back upwards.

He tried his best to keep his body under control but Chan's reassuring words and Minho's made him feel safe, made him realize there was no need to try to be tough.

- Come on, Felix, trust me, you're gonna feel better afterwards and we are here with you, okay?

- okay...

Felix took one last deep breath before allowing his body to do what it needed to do.

It didnt take long for his stomach to contract bringing up a strong wave of vomit that made his back painfully arch. They all noticed that the movement made his back hurt so they were quick to steady him.

A wet burp brought more pale brown liquid up hitting the sink with a sickening sound.

His hyungs kept rubbing his back and holding him.

After a few minutes, Felix felt empty and somewhat relieved and better.

Chan helped him rinse his mouth and the boy tried to keep himself up, but the movement earlier made his back hurt to the point his legs lost strength.

Lee Know was quick to grab him and guide him to sit on the ground.

- There, I got you. You're okay.

Minho said sitting beside him.

- how are you feeling now, Felix? Better?

- I guess so...

Chan kneeled in front of them putting a hand on Felix's shoulder to talk to him, while Minho left to get a water bottle for the boy.

- Hey, Felix, what happened? Were you feeling sick before?

The leader said with a tender expression.

- I dont know what happened hyung.... I was okay, I wasnt feeling anything, aside from the back pain. I think it was just my gag reflex.

- If you knew it was, why did you drink it then?

Chan asked trying not to sound like he was scolding him.

- I guess...I just didnt want to ruin the fun and draw the attention to me if I had to explain why I couldnt drink it.... but I guess I drew even more attention to me...

He tried to give a small smile.

- Okay. I understand you.

At that time, Minho arrived with the water which Felix gladly accepted and drank it in small sips, he knew it better than to further irritate his stomach.

After he finished he looked at his hyungs with pleading eyes.

- Hyung, I want to finish recording.

- Are you sure? You dont have to if you're feeling sick. I'm sure they'll understand.

- No. I want to finish recording. I am feeling better.

- Okay. I'll go talk to them but for now, you're gonna do as I say, okay? I want you to go to my studio with Minho. You're in shock with what happened and you need some time to rest and listen to your body. Let's go.

They carefully helped Felix up, with Minho and Chan wrapping their arms around him. After he was standing, he winced a bit at the sudden pain that he felt.

His hyungs noticed that and were heartbroken because they knew Felix couldnt take his pain medicine with an empty stomach.

Chan put the passcode to his studio and the three of them went in. They carefully sat down with Felix on the couch and Chan sat on his chair to talk to his dongsaengs.

- Felix, I am gonna let you finish recording. But for now you're gonna stay here and calm down okay? You were in shock because you werent expacting that to happen.

- Okay, hyung.

The boy was indeed shocked, his hands were shaking and he couldnt really think straight.

They noticed his hands were shaking too much, even in that stituation.

- Felix, what's wrong?

Minho said lowering his head to look into his dongsaeng's eyes just to see a tear ready to drop down.

- My back...my back hurts so much. It hurts so bad it's making me feel sick.

Felix said sobbing.

Lee Know immediately started massaging his nape.

- Hey, Felix, I need you to try and eat something, okay? So you can have your pain killer.

- I'll...I'll try...

- I'm gonna go and talk to the members and our subaenim.

- okay.

The younger ones said as they returned their attention to Felix and Chan left the room.

Felix tried his best not to pay any attention to the pain but it was getting annoying. He felt cold sweat running down his back and his mouth salivating.

- Hyung. I think I'm gonna throw up again.

He said grabbing his hyung's hand.

He didnt know why but he needed someone to keep him calm. He needed to feel grounded.

Minho looked at him with a pained expression. Seeing his dongsaeng like this was just unbearable.

- Hey, I've e got you, alright? You're okay. Just let it out.

Minho said putting the bin underneath the boy's chin.

Felix oppened his mouth and immediatelly threw up bile. His stomach was completely empty, but was determined to get everything out. Felix was starting to think it was punishment for drinking the penalty drink.

- there you go.

Minho said while rubbing his back and massaging his nape.

Felix was grateful he had his members with him, or he'd gone crazy.

After he was finished, Minho handed the water bottle so he could rinse his mouth.

- Here, sit back on the couch. Try to relax your body a little.

- Hyung, do you have your nausea pill with you?

- Yes. I'll go get it. Leave the door open.

Minho said as he left the room, leaving Felix alone.

He was feeling horrible, he felt guilty for drinking that and getting sick and worrying the members, and to top that, his back that was hurting before, was almost unbearable now. Arching his back when he threw up earlier just made it hurt more.

After a few minutes Minho returned followed by Hyunjin and Chan.

- Hey, Felix. How are you? You're okay?

Hyunjin asked sitting beside him and gently wrapping his arms around him.

- I dont know anymore...

- Felix, I got the pill. But let's just chat for a bit so you can calm down and then you take the pill, okay?

- Okay.

- So, what happened back there? Were you already feeling sick?

- No, not at all. It was just my gag reflex, as soon as the drink hit halfway through it immediately came up. I didnt know I was going to be sick. I wasnt feeling anything at all. But now it triggered my stomach so I'm feeling nauseous and my back is hurting because of the movement.

- Felix, if you knew your gag reflex would act up, you shouldn't have taken it.

Chan said with a more serious tone of voice.

- I know...like I said before, I just didnt want to ruin the fun.

- I understand you. But next time listen to your body, okay?

- Understood hyung.

- I talked to the others and our sunbaenim and they said we could take a break until you're feeling better to resume recording.

- Okay.

Felix stayed at Chan's studio with Minho and Hyunjin and after a while the others came one by one to see how he was doing.

He had managed to take the pill Minho brought and it made him sleepy. He had been cuddling Hyunjin since the boy got to the studio and fell asleep in his arms.

They were all relieved to see him sleeping like that because it meant that he wasn't paying attention to the pain in his back. He couldn't take his medication and his hyungs were worried about his pain, but they thought that maybe sleeping would help.

After about 40 minutes, he woke up, feeling a little better although he felt something was still off. But he thought that he could end recording and then go home.

- Hey. You're awake. How are you feeling?

- A bit better. Still feels off and my back is hurting... I just want to finish recording and go home...

- Okay then. Let's go.

Like he thought, he did manage to finish recording but by the time the director said it was done he was sweating like he had run a marathon and he was shaking as well. Everyone noticed the obvious distress he was in and got closer to him.

- Hey, Felix, what's wrong?

- M-my back...it's pounding...

When throwing up earlier, arching his back worsened his injury and he was in imense pain, to the point he was sweaty, pale and felt faint and nauseous.

- Hyung...I feel dizzy and sick...

- Can you stand? Can you make it to the bathroom?

- I don't know...

Felix tried standing up but the moment he put strength on his legs, he felt a sharp pain and sat back down almost immediately.

- I guess that's a no. Can someone grab me a bucket or a bin?

One of the boys ran to get the trashcan in the practice room and gave to Chan who placed it on Felix's lap and helped him hold it.

He felt his mouth fill with saliva and spat it out on the trashcan. It was just thick saliva coming out, he wasn't even gagging just spitting it out because he felt like if he swallowed it hed throw up right away.

He didn't want that, but he felt nauseous and each time his back throbbed in pain, the nausea would get worse.

His stomach jumped making him gag wetly into his hand but he managed to hold it in, feeling relieved after doing so, but soon finding out his body didn't want that.

- Felix, if it's bothering you, let it out.

Felix just shook his head, he didn't want to throw up, not again. But he had no choice, another jump inside his stomach made its contents shoot up and he felt it hit the back of his throat.

He ducked his head as a wet burp brought out a thick stream of vomit hitting the bottom of the bucket, the noise making the boys flinch.

- there we go. You're doing good.

Chan said as he rubbed Felix's back up and down.

Felix broke into a coughing fit caused by a piece of food that got stuck in his throat and that triggered another bout of vomit to come out.

- Easy mate. Take it easy.

Chan reassured now rubbing Felix's chest to provide some relief and comfort. Felix tried to focus on his brother's touch and took a deep breath in.

- There. That's it.

Chan reassured continuing the movement and getting Felix's hair out of his face that was damped with sweat.

Another gurgle in his stomach sent even more hot liquid up his chest that gushed out with a wet burp, mixing with the vomit inside the trashcan with a sickening sound. And after that, he was left dry heaving and spitting out saliva.

- I think you're done. Straighten your back and take a deep breath.

Chan said as he gently rubbed Felix's chest and back, and breathing with him, trying to calm him down.

- Thanks, hyung...I'm sorry...

- Don't apologize. But next time, please listen to your body and tell us, okay?

Chan said, taking the trashcan from his lap and giving to one of the members, who made a disgusted face that everyone laughed at, as he quickly walked away to dispose of it.

- I wanna go home...

- We will.

The staff had seen the disaster unfold before their eyes so they were ready to take the boys home. Given how Felix was complaining about his back pain, they deemed it best to take him to his doctor first to make sure that his back injury hadn't worsened in the last few hours.

Thankfully it didn't, the doctor told them it was just a temporary strain to his injury but it would go away in a day or two. Since he was in considerate pain, the doctor prescribed him an IV pain medication and a nausea one as well, that kept him in the hospital for at least two hours before he could go home. But it worked, the pain was controlled, the nausea seemed to have faded away and he was sleepy.

The boy was so tired he slept the entire ride home and barely woke up to get out of the car. The members helped him bath and eat and took care of him for the rest of the day, the way he deserved.

Since they were all worned out from the schedules, they ended up falling asleep, cuddled to each other in the living room for the rest of the day, and the rain outside felt like it was washing away their fatigue.

#emeto #sickfic #whump #kpop sickfic #kpop emeto #stray kids emeto #stray kids sickfic #skz emeto #skz fanfic #skz sickfic #felix sickfic #felix emeto #skz fluff #skz angst #felix x reader #hyunjin x reader #bang chan x reader #lee know x reader #changbin x reader #jisung x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader

[ageless-soul-au]

HIHIHI OKAY. i absolutely love flicker. do you accept fanart (might be a silly question but im 16 and want to make sure before i actually draw/send in anything. im here for my boy /lighthearted)

but besides that. ive never seen anyone else actually hc that downfall hero of time DIED AS A KID and i am SO GLAD other people feel the same. like dont get me wrong everyone has their own opinions and none are wrong but. I LOVE FLICKER. i love that the gods didnt quite catch him in time to put him to sleep and he took the sword to ganon and held his own until beast ganon. it makes me do a little happy wiggle.

he was not a "valiant, noble man, tragically lost to evil" he was a misguided child told the world rested on his shoulders and because of that, he was killed. and i LOVE that kind of tragedy

so. flicker supremacy, thank you very much.

Hi hello!!!! Omg you had so many great points, thank you for the enthusiasm!!

Mostly for the 18+ warning, we're trying to keep minors away from the main fics bc there are heavy, potentially triggering topics and NSFW-ish things there. As long as you have your community labels set up right on the blog tho, it should be safe to browse/interact with (though main blogs are different, Kio's is strictly 18+). I'm not your dad etc etc, practice caution online, we really only ask that minors don't read the fic or view the NSFW. We'll still probably be writing ASAU by the time you turn 18 tho so maybe see u on ao3 then?? XD

TLDR, it's up to you if you wanna make art of the lil guy. We appreciate everything that comes our way!

The decision to keep Flicker 9 years old came from a discussion on why the hero failed in the downfall timeline. Bc if things progressed like they had in OoT, then Link would have still won! So what needed to change in order for him not to win? It wasn't bc the player just went out to play basketball instead of beating the game /ref

The sages put Link to sleep bc he wasn't ready to wield the sword. But nothing changed except his size. He was in a 17 year old's body, but his mind hadn't matured any. Somehow he was able to pull it off tho, and everything turned out fine (or... It depends on your definition of fine).

So the sword didn't put Flicker to sleep. He didn't get stronger. And he's a tough kid, but that only goes so far. He also rushed to get to the final boss, which Time didn't do, so Flicker got there underprepared in his haste. He died, then the goddesses went "oh shit, that shouldn't have happened!!" and reset the timeline. And as we know, a reset doesn't mean that the original timeline goes away, now there's just two versions of the story.

Poor lil guy... His Zelda (Aria) and the sages managed to pull it together, but the timeline was still pretty fucked. I can't wait for when we get to what happened to it in the fics, but that won't be for a while. Flicker is still out there tho... In the forest... Doing his little guy things....

Thank u for ur interest! Maybe we'll have gotten to Flicker's point in the story by the time you're 18 hchdhdj

-Kio & Mizu

#Ask #Asau flicker

[deathzgf]

( almost ) ALL MY AMREV + FREV WIPS ( 12 october - 5 november 2023 ) ! ! ! ! !

WARNING : long ass post jFDSFLKJSLF ( will all be under the cut )

NOTE : not everything is here ! a lot of my amrev + frev drawings are doodles ive done in class ( which i cant find ) + i Do Not Like a lot of them + Tumblr only allows so many images T___T

ah yes . . . the doodle that started it all . . . my good omens sona in the french revolution ! except i had no idea what i was doing at ALL and had no historical context ! which i now do have and it makes me ENRAGED for how good omens handled that era . . . why are they in the bastille in 1793 . . . ANYWAYS ! YEAH !

aaand because of that doodle , i researched frev fashion ! and guess what ! that robespierre fashion video came up ! wooo robespierre ! and then this was the first fucking thing i drew of him i cant . I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW THE FUCK HE MISSED SO BAD + HOW THE BULLET WOULD LOOK

BECAUSE after that i drew this ! pookie ! ! !

first saint just drawing . i was listening to angel with a shotgun on loop . . . and i thought . . . angel with a guillotine . . . get it cuz hes . hes angel of the terror . and . and . a

i dont have any explanation for this

i hate this . but first robespierre AND saint just drawing wahoo

first frev oc except the hair on that one drawing is red because i went back and changed it cuz i made their name Jules Le Roux and . You know . Red hair . yeah

jules and calixte ! ! ! calixte is @toastytrusty ' s oc and my sweet sweet little baby i love them dearly

. . . saint just doodle i forgor to come back to

JULES AND CALIXTE LORE

miku binder robespierre

saint just painting robespierres nails because :3

WE INTO THE AMREV NOW WOOO . anyways me when ive married and icarus and hes flown too close to the sun lol ( his wings are meant to be burning letters btw . yeah )

jules , calixte , and leonard interaction ! ! ! ! !

which didnt go well

this turned out gayer than intended i genuinely dont know what happened here

i wanted to continue this so bad but i fucking forgot about it but Uhhh uhhhhh uhhh

you know those vamp ! robespierre and vamp hunter ! saint just aus ? yeah

PLEASE STOP SAYING IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK IVE NEVER DRAWN A VIOLIN BEFORE PLEASE LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE . anyways he playsss theee violinnn he tucks it right underr hisss chinnnnn

winning the idgaf war . unbothered . living his best life

theres a storytime for this drawing but ill save that for later . john adams ( 2008 ) scene redraw but instead of jefferson grabbing adams elbow its his waist except it looks awful and i need to redo it soo baddd

vamp ! robespierre and saint just ( ? ? ? i guess vamp hunter ! saint just cuz thats usually what goes with vamp ! robespierre but idk man ) . they were meant to be on like some moonlit picnic or some shit but then class ended and i forgor about this

donald trump , alexander hamilton , and thomas jefferson . need i say more ?

the ORIGINAL toxic doomed yaoi ( hamburr )

burr . boobies :3

that one scene from saint just et la forces des choses BUT AGAIN this turned out gayer than intended . why do they keep doing this

hey girl i think theres something wrong with your leg

semi modern band ! gay trio . . . thing . . . ? girl idk . but i gave up

making jules a proper ref ! who cheered !

AAAND THATS IT !

let me know if . you want me to finish any of these because otherwise theyre probably going to rot in my gallery HELP

#frev #amrev #art #artists on tumblr #wip #art wip #frev art #amrev art #oc #oc art #good omens #good omens art #technically #cuz the first one was my good omens sona #robespierre #saint just #hamilton #historical hamilton #musical hamilton #jefferson #historical jefferson #1776 jefferson #1776 adams #hes there #hes not refined but hes there #john adams #like the 2008 show #trump #cant believe im tagging that #burr

[orionsangel86]

Welp. Okay I watched the last episode of ofmd.

To sum up my thoughts on this season I will say that whilst I enjoyed it and felt the love and passion and respect for its queer fanbase throughout, it didnt hit me the same way the first season did. It felt like maybe a little bit of that season 1 magic was missing and for that I very much blame Max's cutting off 2 episodes and slashing the budget. They had a lot of story they wanted to tell that would have worked so much better in 10 episodes.

I consider the last 3 episodes of season 1 some of the best TV I have seen in my life. From the use of The Chain in ep 8, through the dramatic highs and lows of eps 9 and 10 it was edge-of-your-seat drama and I was in awe at the creators that put it together. But one of the reasons why those 3 eps were so good is because the drama and the pivotal moments were given time to breath.

If those 3 eps were given the same lack of time and budget as season 2, no doubt they all would have been crammed into 1 episode and it would not have had the same impact.

If anything that last episode should have played out across two, with Izzy's death being the half way point and cliffhanger ending leading to a final battle and somewhat happy resolution.

I'm not mad at Izzy's death. If anyone was gonna die, it was gonna be him. His status as Blackbeards enabler and sometimes mentor is over. For Ed to truly be free, I think Izzy always had to go. From a storytelling perspective it makes perfect sense, even though I am sure a lot of fans are absolutely heartbroken about it.

Another casualty of the reduced screentime meant certain original cast members weren't given anywhere near the amount of screentime they should have had. I was expecting a lot more focus on Jim as they were basically the third lead of s1 due to them getting the same backstory as Ed and Stede. All of the crew appear to have had drastically reduced parts which does feel like a big loss to me.

Its funny actually, OFMD S2 suffered from the opposite problem to GOS2. OFMD had too much story to tell in a limited timeframe, GOS2 had very little story to tell outside of the flashbacks and probably too much time given to it. Both shows season 2s suffered from tremendously bad pacing issues.

Also, the one thing the final episode made so obvious to me, is the uncertainty of getting a s3 renewal. It is so clear in the way they tried to wrap things up in a happy bow as best they could, so that if they do get cancelled it leaves fans at least somewhat satisfied. I hate this though. I hate that studios are so fickle and ruthless that creators have to gamble with good quality writing and avoid cliffhangers because of asshole executives who dont actually care about the stories.

Because of the fast pacing, and the fear of cancellation, it felt more like a rush happy ending instead of a part way point in a bigger story, with important character development still to come. Perhaps I need more time to absorb the story in a full rewatch, but im not exactly itching for more at this point, whilst also not really being satisfied with what I got either. I wish we had left Ed and Stede in at least some minor peril, like have them captured and threatened with hanging but at least in a good place romantically, so that we can start speculating about what kind of escape plan they will come up with in season 3. Leaving them in a dilapidated old inn somewhere just felt wrong to me. Instead of ending the season with the stakes sky high (like season 1) it feels like they left season 2 with zero stakes at all, instead of at least a happy medium. At this point we should be turning to fanfiction and wondering what happens next, but instead I'm left thinking "okay then. That was good. What can I watch next?" I don't need to bury myself in fanfic and fanart to feed the hyperfixation this time around, and that is where I feel the most loss.

I'm sure others will have hugely different reactions to me though. Perhaps my expectations were too high? Perhaps my GO obsession just isn't leaving room for OFMD this time? But then again, I think if GOS2 hadn't ended the way it did, I wouldn't still be so obsessed with that either.

Sigh. I dunno. It was a good fun show and will no doubt still be hugely popular with devoted fans, but for me I just can't say it cast the same spell over me as it did last year.

#ofmd #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #perhaps my feelings will change after a rewatch #i hope so #i just wish they could have had the extra two episodes to stretch out the story

[thegeminisage]

wow it is star trek update time. last night we watched ds9's "blood oath" and tng's "journey's end," which is one of the strongest quality ricochets we've had yet.

blood oath (ds9):

okay, so the summary said "three klingon legends" but what i didn't realize is that they were all REAL KLINGONS FROM THE ORIGINAL SERIES

i have to pain this picture for you, whoever is reading this. the three klingons in this episode appeared in "errand or mercy" "the trouble with tribbles" and "day of the dove." like, they really came back to reprise their roles almost 30 years later. i'm going to paste a picture but uhtw 60s blackface

now, if you're a tos viewer, you may recognize that fella in the middle as also having played the titular squire of gothos in. "squire of gothos." now, as an episode, i find "squire of gothos" to be pretty mid, but there is one specific scene that really did something for me. to me? it did something TO me. what it did to me was send me off the fucking deep end, i wish i could convey the depths of my madness with human words

(still screenshot grabbed from this infinitely more amazing gifset, give it up for @maulthots for enabling me, no literally please go through her gif tag and reblog her gifs)

anyway, before my good and wonderful friend so kindly made this gifset for me, i did maybe sit in front of my pc and replay the clip upwards of [mumble] times a day because i was very, very unwell. when i watched this scene for the very first time what happened to me in that single instant was the bone-deep realization that james t kirk (tos and aos) ate fascists on tarsus iv, probably, and he'd fucking do it again because nobody tastes better than a fascist! i wrote an entire fanfic about it, sorry for the spoilers.

what does squire of gothos and tarsus iv have to do with ds9? well first of all every star trek episode is secretly about tarsus iv so jot that down

but secondly, i've watched this clip so many times i have to hide my face when this man shows up in trouble with tribbles. now, i'm not so good with faces, but i KNOW THAT VOICE. but i know him AS the squire of gothos. i frequently forget entirely that he also plays a klingon, so i didn't recognize his name. so when i heard the squire of gothos's voice come out of a random klingon's mouth in ds9 my immediate kneejerk reaction was "no i am hearing things that can't be--" BUT IT WAS. i PAUSED the episode so i could look iy up, realized that the guy in the drunk tank was kor or "do you have a tongue you will be taught to use it" fame, and then to my eternal glee, kang shows up next

i remembered reading once that kang came back later and i was like ??? no one comes back later on tos BUT HE DID! I JUST HAD TO WAIT FOR IT!!!!! mystery finally solved...........

once i recognized them this episode was a blast. absolutely loving these 100 year old klingons getting ready for a rip roaring rampage of supercentenarian revenge. i was VERY sad that they died at the end but at least presumably they all died together (didnt see the last one go down but im just assuming he lived long enough to eat the albino's heart and then die)

(the albino is a really funny concept by the way like he's not even albino he's just a white klingon)

other notable things about this episode: firstly, quark hiding behind odo at the beginning. classic. secondly, dax actually being a good fighter ?!?!?! and finally, a true passing of the bechdel test where dax asked kira some alarming and upsetting questions about killing people and kira immediately took her aside and MADE her talk. i love. Women. and also women who murder people. i support womens wrongs.

i even love that the ONE time sisko doesn't back up one of his people it's for a good reason (doesn't want the 27yo reincarnation of his father figure to die on a klingon suicide mission)

10000/10, absolutely stellar ep, zero complaints

journey's end (tng):

oh boy.

just about the coldest bucket of fucking water...

you know, we tried to give this episode the benefit of the doubt actually. we were like "maybe this was progressive in 1994. i mean they ARE saying that moving these guys forcibly would be bad" and i mean like what would we know about what was progressive in 94? we were 5. so we checked and um i don't think anybody liked it in 1994 either

devastating that THIS has to be a wesley episode bc i wanted a better sendoff for my boy. "i had a vision and now i'm leaving starfleet" and yes they said the word vision in the most derogatory way possible. jesus christ

TRAVELER ALIEN RACEFAKING? HE PRETENDED TO BE NATIVE AMERICAN TO GIVE WESLEY THE VISION? and then he was like haha don't you know all that stuff is fake. (picard earlier in this episode "i am sooo respectful of your beliefs")

furthermore when picard was like "oh yeah this guy blames me for the crimes of my colonizer ancestor" girl at no point did he say that. idk if white people should go around accusing other white people of white guilt so i don't say this lightly but jesus christ captain picard can you tone it the fuck down buddy

i came across a gifset today of picard from season 5 (idr the episode) going "starfleet doesn't want officers who blindly follow orders sayign you're just following orders has been used to justify too many tragedies in our history" and then smash cut to this episode where he's like "well i tried but yeah i'm gonna have to move you sowwy :/" like good lord.

anyway it's a bummer these last few eps of tng have been less than great bc ik tng is capable of good episodes and i was hoping this series would go out on a high note. but it's going to end the same way it began with us waiting for something good to happen and throwing popcorn at picard

TONIGHT: ds9's "the maquis part i" and tng's "firstborn." i am Braced. for trouble.

#personal #star trek blogging #ds9 lb #tng lb #and you know what? #tos lb #just for fun. i went into a lot of detail here.

[warpweighted]

Re Phantom: in the full unedited original version of the original book (the easy to find/cheapest original translation is unfortunately very edited, but most readers don't know this.) Christine’s feelings for both Erik and Raoul are not that clearly defined. She sees Raoul more as a safe option from feelings she cannot define and that would be frowned upon by society. Even Raoul senses this at points and keeps questioning Christine’s true intentions. I feel ALW only realised that he had been missing important clues from the book, which he tried to use in LND.

(In case you only know Poto from the movie: Christine was in her 20's when she arrived at the Opera in the og story and the whole thing happened in about three months.)

oh I didnt know that about the book! I read it in high school and presumably the library's copy was the abridged one. I cant speak to Christine's feelings in the book bc it has been a long ass time since I read it and at that point I had even less of a handle on what this 'romantic attraction' thing looks like than I do now lol

it may be that alw incorporated that into lnd, although I do still think it was a bad decision. like, a sequel that posits that in poto they were clinging to each other to get through their situation, and their romance was more focused on finally finding someone Safe with whom to escape the situation/ rescuing your childhood friend and being a support for her than it was on actual compatibility - that could definitely be interesting! It's not where I personally would want to take a poto sequel, because I dont find it to be suuuuper well supported in the musical, but then again theres not really any direction I'd want to take a poto sequel at all

however my issue with lnd's characterization is not that christine and raoul are having marital issues, it's that their character arcs were completely undone in service of the e/c endgame. christine went back to the man she spent the entirety of poto trying to escape from - and lnd argues that she chose wrong when she chose raoul, the man who did not isolate and terrorize her, over erik, the man who did. as a matter of fact lnd seems to just completely ignore that erik isolated and terrorized her, and that that's why she left him and stayed gone even after Erik did his heel-turn and let her go. and raoul became, like, cartoonishly shitty in order to make erik look good in comparison when his entire arc in poto is ceasing to be a domineering egotistical shithead, look how they massacred my boy etc

#to be accused of only having watched the movie... 😔😔😔 ive been SLANDERED (lighthearted‚ dont worry anon) #aiden.txt #poto #thank you for your ask‚ nonny! it helped me refine my criticism of lnd and i much enjoyed answering it #phantom of the opera #lnd