#and most of the people ive had to play with there fucking suck nuts and bolts

[skeletalheartattack]

👁️👁️ do you still play tf2?

👁👁 a little! i don't play much of Live TF2 these days, only because my computer would rather explode than allow me to run it at a good enough framerate, though there's a few settings ive only experimented with recently on other source games.

i deeply love tf2 as what it is still more or less, it's mostly my laptop that's always been a problem is all :(

#ask #anon #and it wasnt always that way! i use to have a REALLY good laptop (granted it was a generic dell laptop of some kind) #but it burned out back in 2017 and i couldnt fix it <- knows nothing about fixing laptops and shouldnt have attempted it himself #i miss that laptop dearly you have no idea....... #i could run so much stuff on that badboy..... #anyway because of my laptop (and internet) i dont play a lot of games as of late #last few games ive played are Runescape. Crash Team Racing. and a sourcemod name of Pre Fortress 2. #ive been playing that last one on and off because i have a lot of fun playing a somewhat beta recreation of TF2 #but i have to warn you that if you want to play it. turn off voice chat and text chat. theres only usually one populated server #and most of the people ive had to play with there fucking suck nuts and bolts #if it weren't for that id reccomend it more or less. #i get a lot of enjoyment out of the gameplay changes they make. from the grenades. the armour system. and some changes to weapons #if you play PF2 on players muted and with sprays disabled? id say its a fun experience #all classes are a little more mobile due to all having grenades. heavy less so but yeah #you can definitely tell how much grenades distupts the core of TF2s gameplay. but i like the option of having both games #theres no loadouts in PF2 though. youre restricted to the beta loadouts of each class. #and its not necessarily a ''Pure Beta Recreation'' since they have engineer hauling and upgradable buildings #but i dont mind personally. the grenades are a lot of fun to experiment with #dispensers also deal damage when exploding. and ive used that a lot on 2fort while guarding intel #sometimes an enemy rounds a corner and doesnt see it. and im notified on my HUD and i instantly blow them into gibs #fucked up a medic and heavy's uber push because they werent expecting it #exploded the dispenser in front of the heavy so the heavy lost 80% of his health. shot him with one blast and dead #then chased down the medic before he could even really process what happened to be able to uber #its really fun to experiment with dumb shit and see what you can get away with #just the playerbase sucks really. keep VC and text off and sprays disabled and you might have a fun time #youre also a lot tankier due to the armour system so thats kinda neat in a way #anyway thank you for the ask anon :) #id like to play TF2 more if it werent because my laptop

[kendricksendrick]

Just saw this and wanna answer a few of them :))) feel free to dm me and im sorry in advance if i take forever to reply lmao

My pronouns are she/her, i went back and forth for a while with she/they but i think she/her is me :)) and im a lesbian

Currently the thing that makes me the most happy is seeing an audience of people enjoying a concert together, i took that SO for granted before covid and ive cried at all 3 concerts ive been able to attend/play at since things began to open up. There was such love in the air from everyone appreciating live music together i cant even express how happy it made me seeing everyone else enjoying things together again.

Something I’m very proud of is my solo clarinet recording from this past semester.

https://youtu.be/KFwxAPf82X0

I worked so hard on it, and actually began learning it just as covid hit, i moved home, my life was turned upside down like so many others but after a year of working on it with my private teacher I’m super proud of where I’m at right now. Its also a little bittersweet tho because I’m getting a new private teacher in the fall (again) and this video really shows how muc ive grown in the past two years w the woman I formerly studdied under. I learned so much from her :)

My pride playlist is garb, and i hold myself on a very high pedestal w my playlists so heres one of my go to’s. Mainly early 2010s bangers, it always lifts my spirits when im sad and is great for parties!!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5mGxIUALVuIYaWAMo4pqdu?si=Ly6ON82hSYi5ozRDL-orjg&dl_branch=1

I dont remember realizing i wasnt straight, but recently i realized all the things i did as a kid that should have been obvious to myself that i wasnt straight. Remembering things lik that makes me laugh, like how didnt i know?? The moment i knew i was gay tho was my first time kissing a girl, it wasnt even good but i was still like yeah this is it.

Fave ship is bechloe, duh

On second thought, bechloe shouldve been a HUGE red flag to myself that ive always been gay like cmon haha

Someone who inspires me is my private teacher. Hearing her play for the first time and realizing shes an actual GOD at what she does showed me like what i could live up to. What i could strive for. Ive always been good at the clarinet, not to suck my own dick, but i practiced the bare minimum when i first started playing bc it was fun, and eventually levelled myself out a bit in high school. It wasnt until i started taking lessons in college that i realized the possibilities, and realized how far ive come in such a short time.

Ok ig i cant link the song that reminds me about pride but ill reblog w it, ive just been listening to it on repeat recently and ig it gives me pride vibes?

Finally id like to thank the first girl i ever had a major fucking crush on for helping me get to where i am w my sexuality. Literally could not have done it wo her. And i hope she never sees this ahaha

#Spotify #Youtube

[followyoursecretsmutblog]

the lies you tell IV.

Summary: You and Henry dated for 2 very happy years, when it all came crumbling down. Protection was the only thing on your mind. And now, 3 years later, on a lunch with a common friend, you are hit with the lies you told.

the lies you tell. the lies you tell II. the lies you tell III.

“Chris, are you fucking kidding me? You just find out that I dated someone, and that he was just in my home. And you set me up with someone? Are you out of you fucking mind?” I shout, pulling my hair.

This man cannot possibly be this dim!

“Ava, you said it yourself. You guys can’t be together. You are one of my best friends, I can’t just stand by and see you slowly killing yourself because you are too scared to look for love again.” 

“I’m not scared.” I mumble, folding my arms across my chest.

“Yes, you are. Or you would have already dated other men. Or women.” I shoot him a glare, he holds his hands up in fake surrender. 

“There is no one else I want. Henry is all I want.” I say, my voice cracking, arms falling to my side.

“Don’t take this personally babe, but if he wanted you, he would have fixed the problem as soon as you told him what it was.” Chris points out. 

I look down, not able to meet his gaze. “But, I love him.”

I hear movement, and arms wrap around me. “I know. But sometimes love isn’t enough.” Chris whispers, kissing the top of my head. 

I burry my face into his chest, his shirt soaking in my tears. He just holds me, as if he is keeping me from falling completely apart.

Pulling away, I look at him with tear stained cheeks, red eyes and a runny nose, “Do I still have to go on this date?”

Chris chuckles, pushing my hair from my face, “Yes. You aren’t getting out of it.”

“I hate you so much.” I groan, hitting my forehead against his hard chest.

“I love you, too, Ava.” With one last kiss on my head, he spins me around and shoves me toward my room, slapping my ass.

~~

“Who is this dinner with?” I ask, smoothing my hands over my dress, check myself out in the mirror.

I look good. Well, as good as I can.

“It’s a surprise.” Chris replies, poking his head into the bathroom, looking at me. “You look beautiful.”

A smile blush covers my cheeks and I smile at him in return. 

“Everything will be fine, I promise. He isn’t some crazy person who is going to kidnap and kill you. He’s a friend of mine. I think you even met him once.” He explains as you two walk out of your apartment and to his car. “Sweet guy. Totally awkward around pretty girls.” He chuckles.

I turn to face him, stopping dead in my tracks. “What have you told him about me?!” I shriek, eyes wide. 

“That you are helplessly in love with someone and in need of a good night out.” He looks me dead in the eye. “And then some.” Wiggling eyebrows included.

I don’t know what my face was doing, but Chris’ response to it was hysterical laughter.

“I hate you with everything in me right now.” I huff, stalking toward his car once more.

“Come on, Ava! I told him nothing but good things. I swear!” He laughs as he follows behind me, unlocking the door and opening it.

“The date isn’t with you is it?” 

“First, why do you say that with such distaste? I’m wounded, honestly. Second, no. I will not be there. I am only an escort.” I slide into the seat, adjusting myself comfortably.

“I will kill you. I promise.” I grumble as he slides into the driver’s side and starts the engine.

“I would like to see you try.” He chuckles as he pulls away from the carpark.

The time spent driving goes fast. We talk about new projects, vacations and the upcoming holidays. 

“You know you are more than welcome to come home with me. My family loves you.” 

“I actually think I’m going to go home this year. I miss my family, I haven’t seen them properly since I left.” A sad smile falls on my lips at the thought of when I last saw them. Mum and dad were so supportive of me leaving, thinking it would be best if I were to leave London and start fresh. “But thank you, I know I will have a place in your home and that means everything to me.”

Chris just smiles as he changes lanes. “You are always welcome.” There is a beat of silence. “It’s right up here. Having any second thoughts?”

“Yes.” I answer honestly, “But you are right, I need to get out and try something new.”

“Everything will be fine. Just let loose and be yourself.” He pulls up to the curb, signaling to the attendant to hold on for a moment. “The reservation is under my name.”

“Okay. Thank you, Chris.”

 “Ava.” His voice sounding a bit strange, I look up and meet his eyes. “If for any reason you feel uncomfortable, or want to leave you call me, okay? I’ll come back and get you. Okay?” 

“I will. I promise.” I give him a smile and lean over to kiss his cheek. “You are an amazing friend, thank you.” He nods and my door opens.

I step out to Chris calling out the window, “Use protection!” I just flip him off, my smile never faltering. 

The restaurant is nice, a little to posh for my liking, but nice none the less.

“Hello, Miss, can I help you?” The woman at the hostess stand asks.

“Yes, I’m under the Evans reservation. Chris Evans.” I say softly, trying not to bring attention to myself. 

Damn having famous friends.

“Ah! Yes, your other guest had arrived just before you. Please follow me.” With a fake smile and swaying hips, she leads me deep into the heart of the room. 

There are so many people here, some that I recognize from tv and magazines.

“I ordered the 1957, not the 1959!” An older gentleman hollers, causing the poor waiter to tremble slightly.

Ohhhkaaayyyyy, a little too rich for my blood.

I turn my attention back to the hostess as she makes a left turn into a nicely lit corner. “Here you are ma’am. Enjoy your dinner.” She says, gesturing toward a table with a candle in the center.

I let out a small thank you and walk closer, trying to see who the man was before he saw me. But he is facing the window, watching everything pass by in a blur.

Come on, Ava. You are a big girl, you can do this. If anything, it’s just one night. Breathe in and out.

I close my eyes for a second, take a deep breath, and open them back up, taking the final step toward the table.

“Hello, I’m Ava.” I say sweetly, my accent making the ‘Hello’ come out as ‘’Ello’. 

He turns his head, a nervous smile on his face. 

I can’t help but giggle at him, “If it wasn’t Chris, of course it would be you.” Shaking my head, he stands up.

“You know how he is. Like a dog with a bone.” He chuckles, kissing my cheek.

“He’s a child, and we both know it.” I kiss his cheek in return.

With a nod, he pulls away to pull my chair out. Once I sit, he tucks me in and takes his own seat.

“Are you disappointed?” He asks, taking a drink.

“No, of course not. I honestly didn’t know who to expect. But I am happy to see a friendly face.” I look up, meeting the bright blue eyes of Sebastian Stan.

“Chris said this would be your first time out in a while.”

“I am going to kill him.” I roll my eyes as he laughs.

“You know he means well.”

“I could sell him on the black market. Get a pretty penny for him.” I muse as the waiter brings me a glass of wine. “He is very sweet, but sometimes he needs to know he can’t fix everyone’s problems.”

“That won’t stop him from trying.”

We watch the waiter leave after we order, as if we are children waiting for the adults to leave before running amuck. 

I turn back to him, his dark hair and blue eyes reminding me of someone else.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sebastian asks, settling back in his chair.

“About what?”

“Chris asked me to this dinner for you because he knew I was safe. I’m friends with him, and every time we are together we get along. But, I see that every time you look at me, a piece of you isn’t for this.” He answers honestly.

“Seb, I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to be here. You are a great person, and I care for you deeply. I just...” I trail off, looking out the window. 

Breathe.

I turn back to him, seeing no judgment in his eyes. “I haven’t gone out on a proper date in years. I dated a guy and now it’s over. First heartbreak sucks.” I laugh at myself, downing half of my glass.

“I get it. So, why don’t we do this.” He sits forward, arms on the table. I watch him, a sneaky smile playing on his lips. “Fuck the idea of this ‘date’, why don’t we just eat, drink a few beers and talk about whatever we want?”

A genuine smile comes from me, “That sounds perfect.”

“Good.” He nods his head, motions for the waiter. “Two beers please.” And turns back to me. “Now, wanna play twenty questions?”

~~

“I swear to you, he did!” Sebastian says as I laugh so hard my stomach hurts.

“There is no way! You have got to be lying!” My sides hurt, I have no idea how I am standing up right. “I know he is a free spirt, but to go skinny dipping? In the middle of winter with all his cast mates? He wouldn’t.”

“I have proof.” I look at him, eyes wide.

“No.” I lean against the wall outside my apartment door, a hand over my heart. 

“I do.” He fishes his phone from his pocket, trying to find the video.

“You have a video of Chris. Naked. On your phone?” I wheeze, tears falling.

He stops scrolling, looks at me and nods. “Of course, I do, he’s my friend.” As if it was the most normal thing in the world. “Here it is!” Turning the screen to face me, I watch my drunken friend get undressed and decides to go for a swim.

“He is an absolute nut-case!” I lay my head on Sebastian’s shoulder, both our bodies shaking from laughter. 

“I was lucky to get it on camera! I was actually trying to get me singing, but this was way better!” He howls.

We stand there for a moment, one of his arms loosely wrapped around me and my head on his shoulder.

“Thank you, Sebastian. Tonight, was wonderful. Better then I could have imagined.” I say as I pull away. 

“Of course. I enjoyed tonight as well.” 

“Maybe we can do it again?” I ask, uncertain if he would even want to.

Why would he? I already told him I am emotionally unavailable. He can do so much better.

“I would like that. It was nice getting to know you. Maybe next time it can be more casual.”

“Yeah, not a huge fan of lavish things.” I giggle.

“I’ll call you.” He smiles, leaning down and kisses my cheek. “Until next time, Ava.”

“I look forward to it.” I put my key in my lock and turn, watching him at the elevator doors close.

I sigh as I push the door open. Tonight wasn’t bad at all. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. 

I close the door and kick my shoes off as my phone rings.

Chris.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” I answer.

“I just wanted to make sure you made it home safely.” He defends.

“I did, thank you. Sebastian was nice enough to walk me to my door.” I pick my shoes up and walk to my room.

“That’s good. How was it?” 

“It was fine. We decided to just hangout instead of making it a big deal.” Tossing my shoes in my closet, I start on unzipping my dress. 

“Well I’m glad. I knew he was a good choice!” Chris laughs, I can hear Dodger barking in the background.

“Yes, yes. Seb was a good choice.” My straps fall down my arms, “At least you picked someone I had something in common with.” 

I turn around, dress falling to the ground, phone slipping and landing with a sharp crack as a small scream falls from my lips.

“Ava? Ava! Are you there? Answer me!” Chris shouts, his voice getting increasingly louder and more aggressive. When I don’t answer, he curses, “Fuck it, I’m on my way!”

I don’t move, my body trembling at the man sitting in my desk chair. I open and close my mouth, trying to say something, but nothing comes out.

The man stands up and take a step toward me.

Tag-list: @thiccgeralt - @mary-ann84- @omgkatinka - @suueeeeeee - @hell1129-blog​

A/N: Can you tell I’m a whore for dark haired men with blue eyes?

Also, feedback is greatly appreciated! 

#henry cavill #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill one shot #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill fluff #henry cavill smut #the lies you tell #your local human disaster here #yoursecretsmutblog

[calm-me-down-oh]

How about all the questions ;)

skdsjf ofc u would get me back for that, under a readmore bc theres a lot!

When was the last time you masturbated? Yesterday! Had a.. very hot convo w my gf

Do you enjoy being fingered/fingering? Uhh the only time Ive had it done to me the person had to stop bc they got uncomfy with it and it was overall just a bit odd,, wait it happened a second time and their nails were too sharp also sdkfhsdh I feel like I could get to like it though? If its like, actually properly done rather than my current experiences sdhfk

How do you feel about food during sex? nno thanks mostly? I guess it can kinda depend on the food though idk, like if my gf suggested somethin I might not mind trying it out depending on what it was yknow

What do you do directly after sex? um.. well afaik just kinda lay/sit in a daze for a moment, mayb have some water, get real clingy, kind of have to be nudged into doing stuff bc i guess my brain just stops working skjdfkj

Cuddle with the tip in? Hell yeah. cuddle with it all in. sounds good.

What’s the nastiest sexual thing you’ve done? I don’t think I’ve really done anything nasty sdjkfsj all the sex ive had has been quite brief and vanilla idk

Name a follower you would fuck. @you-better-make-me!

Name a follower you have fucked. None..

What’s the sexiest part of your body? Idk man I guess my thighs are ok people seem to like them anyway

FuckMarryKill: DJ Khalid, Rick Ross, Fat Joe Am i supposed to know who these people are

Would you ever be with a trans person? i think the real question is would i ever be with a cis person (yes i would be with a trans person i am with 2 trans people and i am trans and i havent dated anyone cis since i was like 15)

Riding dick or doggy style? yes

Ever fucked in a school? Nope

Most random place you’ve had sex? havent really had sex in a random place lmao just beds

Would you ever be part of the mile high club? maybe..? thats having sex on a plane right. idk. maybe

Name three of your spots. what does this mean fkjd

Fuck on the first date? Depends

Do you suck dick? I’m sure gonna try!

Do you eat ass? Idk maybe not skdfjhsjk

Do you eat pussy? Haven’t yet, nearly did, got too nervous sdkjfh

Do you like kissing? So much!!

Is farting during sex sexy? I.. I mean its not sexy but like im also not gonna have a negative reaction. unless its me. that is something im admittedly very nervous about fkjd

Ever fucked in the shower? Nope

How old were you when you lost your virginity? Uh............ good question. 19 or 20 i forget if it was before my birthday but within the last year. unless you only count penetrative sex, then I haven’t yet

Do you prefer sex in the morning, afternoon, or night? Y..yes? I suppose afternoon/night is usually a better time, morning is jsut sleepy and trying to remember how to exist hours

Do you like drunk sex? Haven’t had it but I do get horny when I drink, wouldn’t be against trying it with someone I trust

Do you like high sex?  Again never had it! And I haven’t really been high either so Idk

FuckMarryKill: Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; Kash Doll N..none for any

When was your first kiss? I was like 13 I think

How did you meet the person you lost your virginity to? College

Have you ever faked an orgasm? Nope. Wait maybe. Kind of. Idk when I was younger I was with this guy who would try get me to touch myself n I hadn’t figured out how to make it feel good so I’d just lie and say I was when i wasnt bc i didnt wanna do it so maybe at some point i said i came when i hadnt sdfhks

Ever painted/been painted on? Yeah but not in like a horny way, my ex would paint on my hand as kinda their way of flirting with me

You like sex toys? Sure

What’s your favorite sex position? Personally think missionary is underrated bc that closeness and being able to cling just sounds v good but also getting fucked from behind face down ass up also sounds,, v good lately

Sex on a bed, couch, or floor? beddd, maybe couch, floor just seems uncomfortable

Do you like car sex? Never had it, just seems a bit awkward but I guess I’d be open to trying it

You get instantly horny; what happened? My neck got bit!

FuckMarryKill: Trey Songz, Chris Brown, August Alsina. Kill chris brown. idk who the others are

Describe your crush. Don’t have one!

Woukd you ever be with someone with an incurable STD? Uh... Idk? I mean, theres preventative measures for basically all std’s right? So as long as those are taken so i dont also get it I guess it’d be ok

Rate your head game. No clue dkfhdsj

Rate your sex. Awkward!

Would you fuck someone outside of your race? ?? yes. what kind of question is this

Describe the type of freak you are. idk what this means but what first came to mind was ‘pet’ so take that as u will

Ever tasted your own nut/cum? Sure

Into golden showers? Nope

Body count: Under or Over 25? Wayyy under

How do you feel about nipple play? Uh depends! Not into being harsh like clamps etc just seems like itd hurt n not in a good way, but playing w/ them w ur hands and sucking on them. very good

Where do you like to be nutted on? chest/stomach seems good

Which are you better at: topping or bottoming? bottoming

What do you consider “too small?” Idk man dick is dick idc

Is play fighting foreplay? It sure can be!

Do you like angry sex? In concept maybe, in reality itd just kinda scare me

How long should a quickie be? Idk.. quick

How long is “too long” to have sex? Idk sex ends whenever one of u wants to stop, don’t think u can go too long if ur both comfortable with it

How long is “too long” to go without sex? Listen i.. am not the person to be asking this I’ve had sex maybe 3 times spread out over almost a year. i have never regularly had sex

Is “no” relevant in a relationship? Incredibly relevant!! Always!! Unless you’ve discussed beforehand that its ok to ignore it and have a safeword in place instead!! and then that safeword is not to be ignored!!

Do you believe in no-strings-attached sex? Sure but idk if i could do it

Would you have sex in a public bathroom? mmmaybe....

Would you have sex in a changing room? mmmmmmmmaybe

Who was the last person you had sex with? My ex

Describe your type. Idk I have the weirdest type i think they have like nothing in common then theyll all turn around and be into the same stuff or something its v strange

Name 3 turn-ons. Biting, just making out sometimes tbh, skin contact in places usually covered by clothes or under clothes..

Name 3 turn-offs. Umm. i definitely have turn offs but whenever im asked my mind goes blank. I guess being overly rough, hair pulling im undecided on tbh, and oh i usually dont like having my ass smacked but idk if itd change if it were like.. in the middle of sex

Name something that would make you stop in the middle of sex. Bad pain or panicking or it seems like the other person is uncomfortable. or someones knocking on the door for some reason sdkfjs

Would you answer a phone call during sex? no omg

Would you ever pay for sex? Nah.

Would you accept money for sex? Uh. Maybe? Wouldnt ask for it tho

How do you typically feel after sex? Mostly affectionate and good, but w the last person i was with sometimes it seemed like they just wanted it over and done with so i would get kinda nervous and guilty over that,, idk

Do you like your body? Nah

Ever sent nudes? Yep

Have you ever cheated on someone? Yeah he was abusive

Have you ever been cheated on? Idk, maybe, wait i think the guy i cheated on tried saying he cheated on me too but idk if he was just trying to get back at me so

Would you have a threesome? If I trust the people sure

Would you have a foursome? Same as above

Would you take part in an orgy? Uhh idk maybe, same as above applies tho

Would you let’s train be ran on you? Again if I trust the people yeah sure

How often do you masturbate? Idk it really depends sometimes im really horny and its like daily maybe more than once a day and then sometimes i just dont for like. a while

Sex with the lights on or off? on.. how are u meant to see what ur doing otherwise sdjkhfs

Sex with music or tv in the background? Sure, idc really. Though i have a thing if its like.. kids stuff.........dont do that..........

Do you have a cousin you’d fuck if you weren’t related? wtf no

In your last relationships, rate the sex? Uhh... good? I mean, good at the time, though like i said sometimes felt a bit rushed, and that now makes sense and i have very mixed feelings on it but mostly guilt bc the person i was with has since said they werent really into it. so.

Do you sleep naked? Nah I at least have underwear on

How often do you go commando? Never

Are your nipples pierced? If not, would you get them pierced? Nope

Do you dive right into sex, or converse first? Uh, depends? Talking about it beforehand or even during can be good though. But i guess it doesnt have to be Right before it, it can be a bit in advance

After taking your clothes off, what’s the first move? Kiss.. touch,, etc,,

Do you make the first move? Um. w my ex i kinda had to bc as i said, i later found out they werent really into it. other than that i generally dont tho bc im very nervous abt all that, kinda especially after that discovery hdfbghf

Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a day? Nope

Do you like dryhumping ? Sure

Can you twerk or do a split on a dick? Probably not

Have you ever been recorded during sex? No but I’ve had a dream abt being recorded sucking someones dick it was weird

Do you watch porn during sex? W. who does that. how can u focus on that. why would u watch sex when ur having sex skdjfhsjdk

After fucking, do you try becoming friends with a one night stand? Never had a one night stand

What’s your kink? Praise! Marking! Collars!

Would you hook up with the same hook-up again? I don’t think i could have a hook up tbh so no

Ever made a relationship from a one night stand? nope

How romantic are you during sex? uh.. idk havent rly had chance to try being romantic during sex but soft sex sounds v good imo

Describe your sex in 5 words or less. in my experience so far? nervous and kinda awkward

#god rip to my gf when every question i answer abt what its like having sex w me is just 'uh! awkward!' #Anonymous

[wtfdavidsvlogs]

Not here...Not now (D.D)

Warnings: talks of naked bodies, nudes, swearing, dirty talk, sexting,

Requested: Anon said

You're supposed to meet with David after work at his place and he's been so busy with work lately you've been getting impatient. You show up, he's not there. You text to see where he is. He says he had to film with Jason driving around cause Jasons memory card broke. Annoyed but feeling flirty you step out of your comfort zone and start sending him pictures.

Gif by: @allthesepurplelights

I was finally on my way home. Thank the Lord. I seriously couldn’t have gotten out of that office quicker. I work in a tax office as a receptionist. I know worlds most boring fucking job ever. But it pays very well and money is not boring. Anyway, I was finally on my way to Davids place because we had previously agreed to stay in and just hang out. The two of us. We’ve both so busy with our work that we set aside tonight for us. I stop the car in the driveway after being let into the gate. I grab my bag, jacket, and my keys and make my way inside. I unlock the glass door and proceed to take off my glossy heather grey heels. I hang my keys on the hook and carry my bag to lay it down on the pool table.

“David! I’m home, baby!” I said excitedly. I waited a couple seconds for a response from him and nothing.

“David?!” I yell again while walking around the house. Confused, I decide to text him asking where he is.

You: Where are u?

It took him a while to text back with an excuse. I don’t want to sound petty and jealous but we set this day aside specifically.

David❤️: Holy shit, baby! I’m so sorry. I totally forgot. I had to film with Jason cause his memory card broke. I’m coming back right now.

“Aw man!” I yelled into the empty house. I knew he’d try and get here as soon as possible but it sucked that he wasn’t now. He does everything for me I should just be glad that he is trying. Some guys don’t but he does. As I start to trap myself in thinking about amazing my boyfriend is, an idea passed through my frustrated mind. Maybe he isn’t here, but I can sure as hell make him wish he was. I’ve been with this kid for 3 years, I know what it takes to ya know...get things started. I grab one of his shirts and my black lace panties. I throw my hair up and go to the mirror with my phone in hand. An outfit like this is sure to drive him nuts. I lift up the side of the shirt closest to the mirror and lean on my one leg to make my ass look big. I snap the picture and send it his way. This is revenge. He can never control himself when it comes to me no matter the time or the place.

Davids Pov

I felt awful. I know how long she’s been looking forward to our night and I ruined it. I told Jason the situation and he understood. He started to drive me back home which we were thirty minutes away from. When I suddenly get a picture sent to me from Y/N. I open my phone to see her in the big mirror with my shirt on and black underwear on.

“Jesus Christ.” I said quietly while choking on my tongue. She was gonna torture me in the car, over text message, with Jason in the car. She knows exactly how to fuck with me in that way and she knows I can’t control what happens down there when that time comes. I bite my lip and look to Jason who is too focused on the road to notice this. My fingers fly across the keyboard.

You: 1 image attachment

David❤️: Baby, not here...not now

Your Pov

It was working. I had this idea to start sending videos of me slowly taking off articles of clothing. I pressed record while doing different poses and stuff I then proceed to take off my panties and drop them on the floor. This was gonna kill him inside. But it wasn’t done there. I sent the video and felt absolutely no regret.

David pov

A video?! God this girl was trying to get me killed. I opened it while scooting a bit further back and raising my phone closer to my face. I press play and see her in the mirror still doing different poses amd she then uses one hand to remove her underwear and drop them on the ground. My jaw is practically on the floor. I watch the 9 second video over and over again to make sure what I’m seeing is real. I throw my head back whispering curse words to myself. I look back to my keyboard. This was starting and I couldn’t stop it.

David❤️: Stop. Now. I’m in a small car with Jason right now.

You: I bet this is killing you inside and you haven’t even seen me yet..

You: Dirty thoughts

She decided to send a video holding up the shirt passed her uncovered boobs. Exposing herself to me completely. I took a sip of water now sweat was running down places trying to keep myself contained. Oh my god this little bitch took it all off. She twirled around and shook her ass and ran off camera.

Your pov

I think I got my point across. In the last video I decided to shake my ass at the camera a little bit because David is and always has been, an ass man. That for sure drove him over the edge. I put my clothes back on because Davids guys friends would be arriving any second. I invited them over so that when David did get home he wouldn’t be able to get his hands on me. That would be the ultimate tease. A picture with these guys in mirror I was just naked in. I waited for them to arrive and literally in minutes they all did. I yelled hello and ushered them all inside. I greeted people and said hello to everyone. I suggested that we all take a picture in the mirror. I crouch down while the rest of them hold up peace signs or blessing positions. This was going to kill him.

Davids pov

One last picture I hoped. I open my phone to Y/N in the mirror with the guys. They had no idea what she was just doing. Now they are all going to be there when I get back so I will have to wait hours to get to her completely. She is the devil in an angels suit. She was the ultimate punisher. I inhale through my nose as we finally reached my house the driveway filled with cars. I walked in to all of the guys chilling and talking to one another some of them talking to Y/N. She gasped and got up slowly from her seat but came over to give me a kiss.

“Hi.” She said to me quietly. I looked at her up nd down. She looked like she had never done anything bad in her life. An innocent little snowflake but I was the only one that really knew how wrong that was. i touched her hip and pulled her a bit closer.

“I. Will deal with you later.” I growled in her ear. She shivered at the sound of me. Knowing I have that effect on her gives me such a power rush. She walks away from me swaying her hips back and forth in the process. God the things I was going to do to her. The night went on and we exchanged glances from time to time. When Zane was the last to leave Y/N shut the door behind him. I waited by sitting on the edge of the pool couch. She turned around and found me. She discarded her jacket.

“What now?” She said wrapping her arms around my neck. I stand up and I grab her ass so that she she can straddle me in the air. She wraps her little legs around me.

“Now, it’s my turn to tease you to death, and I won’t be going easy on you either.” I said into her ear. Her head leaned back as if she was gaining pleasure from me just talking to her like that.

“Is that a threat or a promise?” She said pecking my lips. I carry her into my room and throw her on the bed.

“You left me in a car trapped with Jason with all of these videos and pictures of you teasing me out of my mind which left me with the worst blue ball I’ve ever had and you have the audacity to ask me if I’m threatening you or promising this?” I said to her. She batted her thick lashes at me and looked up with her sparkling Y/E/C eyes. “Let’s just say...you’ll feel this tomorrow.”

Wow that took so much longer than I had originally thought. wow i hope you enjoyed anon!!

#david dobrik smut #david dobrik blurb #reader x david dobrik #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik fanfiction #david dobrik imagines #david dobrik imagine #davids vlogs #david dobrik #jason nash #zane hijazi

[feycreature]

Every other multiple of 2 as well as all prime numbers.

u are. mother fucker.

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs. i have so many. 

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

lollipops but i dont eat sweets much to begin with

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

bubblegum

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i prefer to not drink soda

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

somewhere between goth and grunge side note what the fuck is boho

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

FLOOR HOCKEY. my sophomore year we cut our hockey unit short by a week because the Str8 Boys got mad that they didnt understand hockey and my team kicked ass

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

lunch.

13. lanyard or key ring?

i dont have keys.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

this is hard bc i dont eat sweets and i dont like chocolate much to begin with. im gonna go with starbursts

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

doc martens but theyre hiking boots

18. ideal weather?

60 degrees, sunny, not windy, maybe a little rainy.

19. sleeping position?

side, mostly

22. role model? 

i try to live a life that would make taliesin jaffe proud

23. strange habits?

oh there are so many but the only one that comes to mind is blowing into cups when i take them out of the cupboard

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

oh fuck i love swimming. but i havent swam in years. and probably wont get to until i get top surgery. so im gonna go with jet skiing because i can actually Do that

29. best way to bond with you?

i was gonna say share music with me but. the real answer is play dnd with me i am not joking

30. places that you find sacred?

other peoples’ homes. thats not my place to Be thats not my place to interfere with i Hate being in other peoples homes. our last two store meetings have been at my managers’ houses and i HATE knowing where my managers live and i HATE that ive been in their houses and sat on their furniture and eaten their food that is Their Space im not their friend i do not belong there

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

any t shirt, ripped black jeans, tall docs with too many buckles, black denim jacket i turned into a vest with safety pins along the shoulders, an assortment of spiky accessories, probably eyeliner

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

my dad forces the o’reily’s jingle into my brain on a daily basis

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag

38. lemonade or tea?

arnold palmer babey

41. last person you texted?

u, dork. altho if we’re talking actual phone number texting, then my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

it depends what it is. if its something im definitely using and will be annoyed for sure if i leave in my jacket like my phone or wallet it goes in my pants pockets, if its something im temporarily holding or wont use any time soon like pens/my inhaler/pads/change it goes in my jacket

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

comfort and my actual wardrobe says jean jacket, but my heart and aesthetic say bomber jacket

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

sweatshirt and underwear.

47. favorite type of cheese?

gouda i think

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

learning that one of my coworkers had a crush on one of the clowns from barnum and baileys and stands by it followed immediately by another coworker chiming in with “okay but teenage simba was HOT”

53. what is the current state of your hands?

cold and scabby (my tattoo is still healing)

54. what did you learn from your first job?

dont work in a warehouse. just dont.

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

i can draw, i can sing in front of people, id like to think im a good dm, and im apparently good enough at navigating customer service that in my year and a half at starbucks only ONE customer has ever complained about me and it was over something i said that she misheard

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? 

i was going to say “based on what i say the most itd be okie dokie” but thats a lie by that logic it would actually be “hi! what can we get started for you?”

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“If I could pull the blood of you from my veins, I would.” -vex, critical role

62. seven characters you relate to?

OOH OKAY THIS WAS A LOT HARDER THAN I THOUGHT ITD BE

weiss schnee (rwby)

rabbit (steam powered giraffe)

wolf (kippo and the age of wonderbeasts)

scorpia (she-ra)

aubrey little (the adventure zone)

beauregard (critical role)

ruby rose (also rwby)

66. favorite flower(s)?

lillies!

67. good luck charms?

a collection of randomly found foreign change in my jacket pocket, a pretty d10 that was accidentally included in one of my dice orders in my Other jacket pocket

70. left or right handed?

so. im right handed. but im naturally left handed. my granny was one of those people who thinks left handed people are the devil so she forced me to use my right hand, so i default to using my left hand but its absolutely useless

71. least favorite pattern?

FUCK PAISLEY.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

i know that this Means like mint chocolate or pineapple on pizza or something but. toffee nut and peppermint starb syrups. nobody believes me that its good except the supervisor that got me to try it. its good i swear.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

about a 6 unless its a prescription. if i can stand im gonna suck it up

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

im rly paranoid about foodborne illness so i Have to go with gas station coffee even tho im a little bit of a coffee snob

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

jokes on u i dont have either!

82. pc or console?

pc is this even a question

83. writing or drawing?

drawing

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies

89. who would you put before everyone else?

buster.

90. luckiest mistake?

the other day i made a drink wrong and more complicated that it needed to be and the moment i realized my mistake someone came through the drive thru and ordered the EXACT drink i had just made by mistake 

94. favorite season?

fall, hands down

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

exactly one and its mine

98. favorite historical era?

romantic.

#nick speaks #motherfucker. #pull-like-hematite

[lovebunnie]

If the prompt thing is still open... I need some more Charlie/Knox in my life, with a side of Anderperry (duh). Thanks xxxx

ive lowkey been DYING to write this holy shit YES

The question of why poetry made women swoon was plaguing Knox for many days after Charlie had said it. He wished he hadn’t put something such as that into his mind, it was the kind of thing to make a man go mad. He knew from the first moment he saw Chris that he wanted to make her swoon and if Charlie had the key to that treasure, Knox wanted in.

The poets were all sitting around the cave, smoking and joking and reading while Knox was deep in thought. He went over all the variables that would make Chris swoon for him, such as word choice and what he wore and what he looked like. He knew Chris had to be really impressed with his writing, since she was already dating someone else.

Todd stood up in the cave, nervously looking down at Neil, who sat beside Knox, and smiled. He read his original poetry, speaking from the heart and swayed on his feet as though to get more comfortable. The poets were all drawn into his world, but Neil was most definitely the sun in this equation, shining brighter than anything and looking absolutely dazzled by Todd. And when Todd was finished, Neil rushed to his feet and planted a meaningful kiss on him while the other poets cheered on. 

Knox observed this, making small notes in his mind. If Todd, the shyest person he had ever known, could have somebody like Neil, the most outgoing person he had ever known, kiss him like that, than Knox knew he had at least an inkling of a chance. 

Regardless, as the poets left the cave, Knox still caught up with Charlie. “Hey, Charlie, wait up!”

He turned around and grinned at Knox. “What’s going on, Knoxious?”

“Uhm…” Knox needed Charlie’s input on Todd’s poetry, so he knew if he was doing it right for Chris, “what did you think of Todd’s poem today?”

“It was mushy and thought provoking, exactly the kind of poem to make Neil go nuts,” Charlie replied, chuckling. “Then again, everything Todd writes has a purpose. It just so happens that every purpose he has is Neil.”

Knox nodded and placed his hands in his pockets. “What, you think writing has to have a purpose?”

“Not necessarily. It just… helps, I guess.”

“In seducing people?”

Charlie’s neck snapped to Knox, eyes wide. Knox began to panic somewhat, fearing he had been found out and was about to be ridiculed for his attempts.

Instead, Charlie grinned at Knox and lightly punched his shoulder. “What, you got some seducing to do?”

Knox averted his eyes. “No way, man! I just-”

“This is about Chris, isn’t it?” Charlie leaned closer to Knox, a grin of the “shit-eating” variety. Knox wanted to pull his hood up and run back into the building, mortified. 

“Listen, Knox. I applaud this noble attempt to woo Chris, but I’m afraid there is one thing stopping you.”

“Oh yeah?” Knox scoffed, softening. “What’s that?”

“You can’t write, dude.”

“Yes I can!”

Charlie rolled his eyes, not so much at Knox’s displeasure but just by everything in general. “I’ve read your stuff, dude. It is not, how you say, wooable.”

Knox crossed his arms, pissed at Charlie for throwing him under the bus. He thought for sure that he could write something for Chris, at least something to get his message across. He needed all the support he could get.

“Yeah, well, you certainly would know something about wooing women.When was the last time you even saw a girl?”

Charlie scoffed. “Please, I know so much more about wooing than you.” And suddenly, a devious smirk appeared on his face, a look Knox knew was absolutely nothing but trouble. “And I can prove it.”

Charlie walked ahead of Knox and stopped right in front of him, blocking him from entering the building. As their friends entered, Knox looked over Charlie’s shoulder, nervous at what was about to happen.

“How can you prove it?” Knox squeaked out.

Charlie leaned in close. “I bet that I can write a poem to make you swoon, Knoxious.”

Knox’s eyes went wide. “No you can’t. Besides, I’m already in love with Chris!”

“Well, if it doesn’t work, then you can take my poem and read it to her. The point still stands that I know more about swooning than you.”

Charlie grinned and turned on his heel dramatically. “I’ll read it at the next society meeting!” And with that, he entered the building, leaving Knox to wonder what the hell he just got himself into.

The next meeting, as it turned out, was the next night. All the boys ran from their dorms, flashlights in hand and caution to the wind somewhere behind them. They all soon piled into the cave, throwing their food on Meek’s jacket, as per tradition, laughing at some dumb joke they don’t even remember.

“Welcome, poets!” Neil cheered, throwing his and Todd’s clasped hands in the air. The other poets cheered with him.

“Damn, did it get twenty degrees colder in here?” Pitts complained.

“You’re too tall your body doesn’t have enough blood to keep you warm,” Meeks said, earning him a pout from Pitts.

“That’s now how bodies work. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one!”

“The cave has no rules, Pittsie. I can say dumb shit and no one can get mad at me.”

“Yeah Pitts, we can all say dumb shit here. Like about how Meeks is the smart one,” Neil said, making Pitts and Todd practically fall over in laughter.

Knox wished he could join in on the jokes and fun, but his mind was elsewhere. He couldn’t stop thinking about Charlie and what he may say to him tonight. He knew Charlie couldn’t make him swoon, so why was he so nervous?

“Attention, dear poets of mine!” Charlie suddenly called out, making them all turn to him. “I have a special poem with me tonight! Please lend me your hears and allow me the stage!”

Knox’s palms began to sweat as the other poets clapped for their friend, and the stage was set. Charlie cleared his throat.

“For you, I’d let you go. Go far away, further than anyone has ever gone and beyond that. To go onto virgin land, untreaded upon, unblemished, scarce. I’d let you fade away and never return, knowing you’d never come back.

“For you, I’d lay my weapons to rest. I’d allow the bullets of the enemy to piece my very self, allow the pain to swell over my eyes and take me, under and under, until I could only dream of a time where I was yours and you were mine.”

Charlie read softly, slowly raising his eyes to Knox’s and not letting go. He read on, not once looking at the paper.

“For you, I’d give until I had no more to give away. I’d be poor and hungry and lonely and afraid but if it meant that you could see the sun and feel fresh air on your skin, I’d do it all over again.

“For you, I’d play the part you wanted me to play. I’d put on my costume and memorize my lines and know where to stand and when, if only it meant that even for a second, I had your eyes on me, and no one else.”

Knox’s breath had long past stopped as Charlie got closer and closer. It was only them and Charlie’s words.

“For you, I’d stop breathing, close my heart down and become stone; if you needed air I’d give you mine; if you wanted water I’d get you wine; if you asked me how I was, I’d say I was fine

“Even if it was a lie”

Charlie stopped, so close to Knox that he could feel his breath on his nose. The other poet’s simply watched, on the edge of their seats and thoroughly shaken from the performance. It was as though all the air was sucked out of the cave.

“That’s how you woo,” Charlie whispered, and sat back, grinning like a mad man with flushed cheeks.

The other poets clapped hysterically, cheering Charlie on while he took mini bows. However, his eyes did not leave Knox.

Knox simply sat, heart racing and staring straight forward, unaware of Charlie’s gaze. 

God, I’m so fucking swooned, he thought. God dammit.

#dead poets society #anderperry #if i didnt know charlie/meeks ship name #i sure as HELL dont know charlie/knox ship name! #charlie/knox #please someone tell me idk it #but i also kinda really love it #celeste drabbles

[lvtvr]

Since you're the official captain of consensual Lancelot, do you have head canons???? :3c

AAAAAAAAAAAA okay anon listen u have no idea how blessed i felt when i got this ask my heart Wept and the reason it’s taken me days to get to is bc i wanted to. do a Good Job. anyway. okay.

first a disclaimer: i don’t really like imagining shippy stuff taking place in the canon setting in general, so all of my hc’s are usually set in AUs or a pseudo-canon parallel universe of some kind. and ofc Lotor doesn’t even canonically exist yet, and also… lbr it makes no sense for a protag to date a villain. so, yes, i am aware that this is all utter self-indulgent CRACK but its just for fun aight sdgkljsdjgsdgj

also i’m tagging @softlancelot (a blog i love btw ive never hit follow so fast before in my life) lmk if thats not OK!!

Lance is a middle child, and has always felt starved for attention, so he is thrilled to have someone actually be willing to give it to him without having to bend over backwards to be noticed

Lotor is a shallow looks-first kinda guy, but it’s Lance’s quick wit and refusal to be intimidated by him for more than a few seconds that really gets him. He always feels like people kiss his ass for no reason that has anything to do with him, and damn does he enjoy the challenge of bantering with someone who’ll just tell him he sucks to his face

Lance would fucking court him though, and make a big deal about treating him like royalty while he does it and be really cute and embarrassing about it

If the rest of the team is shocked at Lance dating a Galra, all he’ll say is that he loves and respects them all and asks for the same respect to be extended to his Legolas-looking bf

lotor’s confused. wtf is a leggy lass

They’re both kind of insecure and feel like they’re not good enough – Lance because he feels average and like he isn’t a genius like the rest of his team, Lotor because of daddy issues (really, imagine having Zarkon for a dad) and the shit he’s no doubt had to deal with for being half-Altean. Later, this becomes something they can open up about and connect over.

Lance, the flirt, finally meets his match. He’s really flustered about it at first, because he’s always the one who does the flirting, and now it’s happening to him and he’s ded

eventually he gets his game back though, and they are quite literally fucking disgusting about it. like, the smarm is so thick you could spread it on ur dam breakfast toast

lance is psyched to finally have found someone who can go back and forth with him and indulge him where most people (kinda rightfully) think he’s just annoying

They are obnoxious. Even more so when they know people are watching them. It’s babe this and babe that and matching outfits all the way. 

But when they’re alone, they allow themselves to relax. They both know what it’s like to be so concerned with pretense that they feel comfortable letting that guard down around one another

Lotor loves Lance’s blue eyes. It’s not a color you ever see on Galra, so to him eyes the color of an ocean are incredibly exotic

They both love to pamper themselves!!! They do face masks together and bond over all the beautiful girls they’ve interacted with!!!

THEY PLAY FOOTSIE. And make bedroom eyes while they do it. This is fucking real I’ll fight u on this one

Risqué stuff under the cut bc I have no self control :^)

HAIR. PULLING. Lance loves long hair, and Lotor’s luscious white locks are sexy as fuck to him. He loves raking his fingers through it, yanking at it, and just eats up the resulting gasp or moan

Lance is canonically really into hot aliens and he can never stop asking questions about Galra (or well, Galran/Altean hybrid) biology

“so are u guys…. mammals? do u have…. nips?”

“ok but like. fr. what color is ur nut”

lotor is like “maybe if you stopped talking you could find out” and strokes his face seductively and lance DIES because as we all know he is all bark and no bite whatsoever

s h a r p  t e e t h. Lance is. So into it. Just feeling them pricking at his skin is enough to get him instantly horny. He probably had a vampire phase tbh

Lotor loves leaving hickeys on his perfect skin as well, and Lance likes looking at them after and feels his whole body get hot

Lotor is possessive – comes with being a prince – and he will growl “you’re mine” while his hands are under Lance’s shirt and his mouth is on Lance’s neck. It makes Lance shudder because, ngl, he really, really likes feeling like he’s worth wanting

They’re both super up for experimenting with stuff. Candle wax? Ice cubes? Handcuffs? Lingerie? Yeah man let’s do it

Lance has great legs, so seeing him in thigh highs is the fuckin’ dream

Honestly, there’s something sexy about having a prince tied up and at your mercy.

Lotor’s a swordsman so you can bet Lance exploits this pun opportunity to death

“hey babe u need a sheath for that sword?”

“hey babe u up for some…. fencing? ;)”

“i will fucking. fuck ur sword. watch me.” “Lance no”

#anonymous #vld lancelot #lotorlance #lotolance #what do i tag #headcanons #nsfw-ish under cut #im dying scoob i really need s3 to come throuhg for me

[machinehead]

CYPRESS HILL

Anybody remember these lyrics…? "Say some punk try to get you for your auto, Would you call the one-time, play the role model? Nooooo, I think you play like a thug Next hear the shot of a magnum slug Hummin', comin' at cha yeah ya know I'm gonna gat ya” Or this one? "Time for some action, just a fraction of friction I got the clearance to run the interference into your sattelite, shinin a battle light, swing out the gat, and I know that will gat ya right? Here's an example, just a little sample. How I could just kill a man!” Or this one "Do my shit undercover Now it's time for for the blubber Blabber To watch dat belly get fatter Fat boy on a diet Don't try it I'll check your ass like a looter in a riot” And that ends with: "Happy face n***a never seen me smile”. Always loved that line! Been on a serious Cypress Hill kick lately. I forgot how good their debut S/T record is!  Maybe that it’s just that it takes me back to that time (1991)? Regardless, I can’t get enough of it right now. I saw that Billy from Biohazard is jamming’ with Cypress Hill’s Sen-Dog in a new band called Powerflo, and that sent me back down the rabbit hole. I first heard about Cypress Hill from a local Bay Area magazine called BAM. It had a hip-hop column that was pretty small, but was often on the pulse of all the new stuff.  I checked ‘em out solely on the advice of the columnist (whose name eludes me) but got hooked instantly. The music was so fresh for the sound at the time, which relied heavily on 60’s psychedelica (sampling Hendrix and a plethora of cool guitar licks for their hooks) and 60’s pop yet with an almost bluesy major key undertone throughout. It sounds crazy to say now, but back then there weren’t a whole lotta’ people singing about weed like these dudes were. That was the surface; party stuff, but there was a real dark feel to the lyrics. The album opener ”Pigs” (about crooked cops) sets the dark tone and then track #2 was, (which ended up being the hit single) “How I Could Just Kill A Man” (which sampled a guitar lick from Jimi Hendrix's “Are You Experienced”) and “Hand On The Pump” (of a shotgun…) taking it even darker, melding the post-Rodney-King-era of Los Angeles, with their South Central, blunted out state of mind. Something about the bluesy feel of the music mixed the B-Real’s nasally almost nursery-rhyme delivery made it all so goddamned catchy you could not get the songs out of your head. One thing I always loved that the main music-crafter DJ Muggs did was he almost always brought in a bridge/key change at the halfway point of each song.  It doesn’t sound like much, but hip hop at the time (and even now) kept the same beat/melody almost entirely the same. They brought terms like “gat,” “blunted,” to the public consciousness. Soon enough every rapper and pop group from Ice Cube to TLC was taking a crack at the Cypress Hill sound with bluesy riffs, and major keys at a time when hip-hop was primarily atonal and noisy (think - Public Enemy). By the time I got into them, I had pretty much stopped smoking weed, but I just loved the vibe that they brought. Genevra and I went and caught them live on this album, they were headlining a small club in San Francisco with a fairly eclectic bill for the time. There was Money B of Digital Underground opening, and pro-African, uber-black-power, also-rans X-Clan (who were never really that good, but dressed so crazy and militant that they stuck out) as main support.  Cypress Hill came on and played a short but inspired set that got the crowd going nuts.  I actually met B-Real before the show, who was just chilling’ in the crowd.  I said “what up B-Real?” He took one look at Genevra (who looked ridiculously hot), gave me a completely dead-fish handshake and started chatting her up.  I was “all right, we're outta here!" It was a great fuckin’ show, the energy, and buzz in the audience was palpable.  Not sure if I would do that now (go to a hip hop club), but I was 20-something and fearless back then. And while the hits from the debut album still resonate with me, it deep album cuts like “Pyschobetabuckdown" and "Latin Lingo" that truly set "the kids from the Hill" apart.  The latter blending english and spanish to form the bi-ligual “Spanglish” that flowed so good when you heard rapper Sen-Dog’s baritone with lines like "Troop like a vacuo, who said I was baracho, had an attitude, tried to play me macho, Just relax, calmado mijo, Sen Dog with the funky bilingual.” I still don’t know what most of it means, but it somehow made sense. I followed them through the next couple records with 2nd album “Black Sunday containing the massive smash hit “Insane In The Membrane,” and the very metal-sounding “We Ain’t Going Out Like That” (which sampled Black Sabbath’s harmonica intro for “The Wizard”).  Overall the album wasn’t as strong.  It seemed rushed with a lot of the exact same lyrical content, though with that said, it still contained one of the most random / awesome lyrical gems with “like a chicken wing, pa-cock, so you can just suck my cock!” in the track “Lil’ Putos.” So fucking random, but every once in a while, I still hum it! Temples Of Boom was the last record I really delved into and it had a few gems like “Throw Your Set In The Air” (as in: your gang set), and the brutally dark Ice Cube diss track “No Rest For The Wicked,” but other than that it was a little all over the place. I didn’t even hear the next album “IV”, but then they came back stronger than ever with 2000’s “Skull & Bones” and the rap/rock cross-over double hit “So You Wanna Be A Rock/Rap Superstar” which they did 2 versions of (a Rap and Rock version) that worked equally strong.  Great storytelling mixed with the realities of being in the music business. They have gone on to become a southern California staple with an semi-annual festival (I think) called The Cypress Hill “Smokeout” (Machine Head played it back in 2000, but we were way out of place).  Last I saw them Cypress killed it, putting on a really good show that showed them evolve into a full live backing band playing along with them. Since I listen to all of my music solely on Spotify, I’ve been playing the latter day tracks and checking out what they’ve been up to (Spotify is GREAT for music discovery, I cannot tell you how many bands / songs I’ve found since going purely Spotify!) and they definitely continued to evolve a bring in some cool new tunes. But if you want to go back in time to 1991 and check out a record that changed shit, a record that hit so hard when it dropped, that was pissed off, a record that even inspired a few of my own lyrics on Burn My Eyes (“Blood For Blood" in particular) check out Cypress Hill’s self titled. Spotify:  Cypress Hill – Cypress Hill YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQ7DOkfbgpQ

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[frop]

do all of them you mother fucker

not Once but Twice u have done this to m 

Star Platinum – Your thoughts on the stars? i always did like then when i was younger but now they just make me think of jojo so now i especially like them 

Magician’s Red – Do you know any magic tricks? no but im gonna say what u said and i can bend my fingers waay way farther than most people

Hermit Purple – Show a photo of yourself! I HAVENT taken a selfie in forever i’ll do one later 

Silver Chariot (Requiem) – How much sleep do you need on average? i would love a good 10+ but i only get that much on saturday now boo but on average its like 6-7 

The Fool – Tell us a joke! Is your refrigerator running? Because i’m gonna suck your dick

The World -  A place you want to visit? canada like you would not believe 

Crazy Diamond – What do you treasure the most? hmmmmmmm my friendships with my friends 

The Hand – Do you like your hands? nnnot particularly bc i spent a good portion of my life and still do sometimes where i bit my nails til they bleed so they dont look as nice as i’d like them to be when they grow out 

Echoes – Your favourite sound? The world’s time stop sound, but not jotaro’s version, dio’s specifically

Heaven’s Door – Share a secret! my parents’ divorce has made me scared for the future of my own relationships to the point where i can see myself not ever wanting to be in a relationship ever again bc it would be easier than my partner getting tired of me or hating me. on top of the fact that i’m almost exactly like my father and my mom’s ex fiance in every single emotional department which is what caused their divorce/breakup respectively in the first place and that leads me to believe that in the long run i am Romantically  Unlovable 

Killer Queen – How would you like to die? preferably quick and painless 

Bad Company – What kind of character trades do you dislike? any character that is like ‘waahh wah no one understands me bc i enjoy [’highly advanced’ niche series/book/etc] and they all read [popular series/book/etc] like whatever the fuck his name was in aku no hana, it got so obnoxious i had to drop it lmao 

Red Hot Chili Pepper – Can you handle spicy food? cat’s out of the bag guys im actually a Fake Mexican bc i only like mild stuff and hot chips 

The Lock – Anything you feel guilty about right now? ya but thats for another day 

Love Deluxe – Are you secretly in love with someone right now? its absolutely no secret that i am in love with jonathan joestar 

Pearl Jam – Your signature dish? i can make some mean ass rice apparently 

Achtung Baby – Do you want kids? nnnope no thanks never ever i have my cat and thats enough for me 

Harvest – Do you pick up coins in from the street? no bc u dont know where thats been and money is super dirty already 

Cinderella – Which part of your body do you like the most? dang, i guess my thighs? but lately i’ve been a lot easier on myself abt my stomach and how soft it is 

Atom Heart Father – How is your relationship with your father? pretty good bc we’re really alike in temperament too but sometimes it gets pretty awkward bc he can never see me as anything but his little baby daughter who Never Grows Up

Enigma – What is puzzling you currently? when is davidpro gonna drop the part 5 teaser 

Earth Wind and Fire – What’s the best classical element? i personally have always liked fire 

Stray Cat – Cats or dogs? i love both but man im more suited for cats 

Gold Experience – A precious experience you have not shared with your followers? oh man over this summer my dad his gf and me and my sis when on a trip to her dad’s place in this really small town that was like 3 hours away from our city and it was so nice and quiet and peaceful and i felt so clean and happy there, we were only there for a couple days but ever since i’ve really been wanting to go back

Sticky Fingers – Zippers or buttons? zippers are so much faster but they get caught sometimes so Really, pros and cons of each 

Moody Blues – A song that makes you sad? OOO man i was gonna say epitaph bc Of Course but as i was writing this down melancholy man by moody blues came up on this playlist and now im thinkin abt abba and crying 

Sex Pistols – Have you ever shot a gun or riffle? no im tiny and a weenie and i would probably die from the recoil

Aerosmith – Are you afraid of flights? ive never been on one but i am scared of heights so i cant imagine thats any better 

Purple Haze – What makes you really angry? it used to be not being listened to but now i just let it happen bc Why bother but now its more whenever my mom makes a big deal out of simple mistakes of waiters/waitresses or when shes being obviously racist 

Spice Girl – Your favourite spice? idk what its called but theres this one i like to put on fruit before i eat it to make it Spicy 

King Crimson – Is it possible to predict the future? man idk my mom says yea but who knows 

Black Sabbath – How easily do you trust people? like stupidly easy 

Man in the Mirror – Do you like looking into the mirror? nope lol im ugl. ALSO bc i have a bigger than average fear of reflective stuff in general bc what if i see somethign behind me u kno,,,, 

Beach Boy – Have you ever been fishing? nope! the one time my dad went that i knew abt i was in mexico 

The Grateful Dead – What do you want to be remembered for? honestly, anything else that being the ‘way too nice one’ or the doormat 

White Album – Your favourite CD? aaaaa i dont have one i dont really listen to albums 

Talking Head – Are you a good liar? i guess ? i can keep a pretty straight face but its harder to lie to someone i actually know really well bc they can probably tell what my tics are 

Baby Face – Your thought on babies? theyre cute but i would greatly prefer to never have any 

Metallica – Do you like listening to metal? yea

Green Day – Ideal way to spend a day off? sleep, Sleep, stream with friends and lay in bed

Oasis – Best place for a holiday? hhhhh anyplace that relaxes u tbh 

Stone Free – Are you a indoor or outdoor person? i n d o o r i dont like bugs 

Kiss – Who would you like to kiss or get a kiss from? jonathan joest

Burning Down the House – Ever destroyed something and then regretted it? nah, once again im a weenie and im too worried abt consequences to ever do smth like that

Foo Fighters – Your favourite drink? god damn i fucking love raspberry iced tea 

Diverdown – Your thoughts on diving? the ocean fills me with the fear of god. no thanks 

C-Moon – What would you do for your friend’s sake? put myself in bodly harm 

MadeinHeaven – What do you believe happens after you died? nothing tbh you just end up in a grave or urn or wherever u wanted to be put 

Weather Report – Your favourite weather? man i looove love stormy weather 

Whitesnake – Your thoughts on snakes/reptiles? i love them theyre all gorgeous and beautiful

Tusk – Tea or coffee? coffee

Ball Breaker – Your favourite ball game? to play? its basket ball but to watch baseball 

Oh! Lonesome Me – Do you feel lonely right now? no not right now but im sure it’ll happen soon 

Scary Monsters – Your favourite dinosaur? i love velociraptors and also triceratops !!

Cream Starter – Do you usually wear make up? nope and if i do its only ever lipstick

Catch the Rainbow – Your favourite colour in the rainbow? blue and green!! 

Ticket to Ride – What was the last ticket you bought for? i didnt buy it but the last one i had was for the rogue one like. 2 weeks ago

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap – Do you believe in the multiverse? i dont think abt it too often but sure

In a Silent Way – Do you enjoy complete silence? yes!! besides some music, i cant concentrate otherwise 

Soft & Wet – Shower or bath? shower bc its easier but i havent taken a bath in forever 

Paisley Park – How good are you with reading maps/directions? Terrible God Awful

Nut King Call – How good are you at assembling/constructing things like Ikea furniture? hmm it depends if i have the manual for it and if i have time to really think on it and im not in a rush or anything

Paper Moon King – Can you do any origami? nope 

King Nothing – Your favourite smell? i really like the smell of cinnamon 

BornThisWay – A strange habit you have? i crack my fingers all the damn time and i like to take off the little plastic circle off of soda bottles and chew on it 

Les Feulies – Your favourite plant? oh damn hmm i like lavenders 

Fun Fun Fun – Something you really enjoy doing? man. i could watch jojo a million times over and i’d never get bored of it 

California King Bed – What size is your bed? currently i sleep in a queen size bc my mom and sis and i share a bed bc we only had one room in our old apartment but now that we moved im sure i’ll be kicked off into a twin soon enough 

JESUS christ ok its almost midnight i hope ur happy you mother fuckre 

#asks #i didnt think it would take this long oh my fodgtrgwrgf #filmgold

[michellehasacrush]

Let’s be inappropriate…

1. When was the last time you masturbated?

a. 12:30 AM

2. Do you enjoy being fingered/fingering?

a. yes

3. How do you feel about food during sex?

a. If you are hungry, whatever. If this means do you add food, like eat off me or whatever, sure. Nothing gross though, like.... fried chicken.

4. What do you do directly after sex?

a. I like to nap, but cuddling while napping is good too.

5. Cuddle with the tip in?’

a. YES

6. What’s the nastiest sexual thing you’ve done?

a. I once gagged and barfed a little in the middle of blowing someone

7. Name a follower you would fuck.

a. 4michelle

8. Name a follower you have fucked.

a. 4michelle

9. What’s the sexiest part of your body?

a. I have no idea. Maybe my ass

10. FuckMarryKill: DJ Khalid, Rick Ross, Fat Joe

a. I would have to kill them all.

b. DJ Khalid: eww

c. Rick Ross: no ewww

d. Fat Joe: No way

11. Would you ever be with a trans person?

a. Maybe.

12. Riding dick or doggy style?

a. That is so hard. From behind is my favorite, but only by a little.

13. Ever fucked in a school?

a. Yes

14. Most random place you’ve had sex?

a. Cemetary in north mpls

15. Would you ever be part of the mile high club?

a. YES

16. Name three of your spots.

a. Neck, inner thigh, ears

17. Fuck on the first date?

a. Yep.

18. Do you suck dick?

a. I do

19. Do you eat ass?

a. I have

20. Do you eat pussy?

a. Yes

21. Do you like kissing?

a. I love it

22. Is farting during sex sexy?

a. Meh. I mean, it happens, especially after anal, though sexy isn’t how I would describe it

23. Ever fucked in the shower?

a. yes

24. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

a. 13

25. Do you prefer sex in the morning, afternoon, or night?

a. Hmmmm. I don’t know that I care.

i. In the morning or right before I go to sleep at night

26. Do you like drunk sex?

a. YES

27. Do you like high sex?

a. Ummm, I guess. It’s been a really long time.

28. FuckMarryKill: Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; Kash Doll

a. Nicki Minaj: fuck

b. Cardi b: fuck

c. Kash Doll: kill

29. When was your first kiss?

a. I was 11 on the playground after lunch

30. How did you meet the person you lost your virginity to?

a. Through a friend at a roller rink

31. Have you ever faked an orgasm?

a. Yes.

32. Ever painted/been painted on?

a. Yes, with glow in the dark paint.

33. You like sex toys?

a. yep

34. What’s your favorite sex position?

a. I really like it from behind, standing, bending over, whatever

35. Sex on a bed, couch, or floor?

a. Why not?

36. Do you like car sex?

a. I actually love car sex.

37. You get instantly horny; what happened?

a. He moved my hair to the side and kissed me on the neck.

38. FuckMarryKill: Trey Songz, Chris Brown, August Alsina.

a. Trey Songz: Fuck

b. Chris Brown: kill

c. Augues Alsina: kill

39. Describe your crush.

a. He is tall, with sexy eyes and brilliant, kind, funny, caring, thoughtful.

40. Woukd you ever be with someone with an incurable STD?

a. Maybe. Depends on if I also had said icurable STD, or could somehow avoid it.

41. Rate your head game.

a. I think I am pretty good. Maybe an 8 out of 10?

42. Rate your sex.

a. This is hard. 9 on a good day? 7 on a bad?

43. Would you fuck someone outside of your race?

a. yes

44. Describe the type of freak you are.

a. The good kind

45. Ever tasted your own nut/cum?

a. yes

46. Into golden showers?

a. Not really. Guys have peed on me, but I can’t pee on someone. I tried. It took like half an hour of focus

47. Body count: Under or Over 25?

a. over

48. How do you feel about nipple play?

a. I like it

49. Where do you like to be nutted on?

a. Anywhere? Face, breasts, pussy, ass (sometimes even in my hair)

50. Which are you better at: topping or bottoming?

a. I have no idea. Topping?

51. What do you consider “too small?”

a. If I can’t tell it’s in, it’s too small.

52. Is play fighting foreplay?

a. yes

53. Do you like angry sex?

a. Meh. Probably not

54. How long should a quickie be?

a. 10 – 20 minutes?

55. How long is “too long” to have sex?

a. That hasn’t happened to me yet. Maybe 6 hours?

56. How long is “too long” to go without sex?

a. 2 days

57. Is “no” relevant in a relationship?

a. Sure.

58. Do you believe in no-strings-attached sex?+

a. yep

59. Would you have sex in a public bathroom?

a. yep

60. Would you have sex in a changing room?

a. yep

61. Who was the last person you had sex with?

a. Paul

62. Describe your type.

a. I’m not super picky, appearance wise. However there are a couple of things that are absolutes:

i. Your butt has to be bigger than mine

ii. You have to be taller than me

iii. I am a hitter, so you have to be able to take a bit of a beating and not be a baby about it.

iv. You have to be kind to others, especially those less fortunate than you.

63. Name 3 turn-ons.

a. when someone really wants me

b. The idea of others watching

c. Neck kisses

64. Name 3 turn-offs.

a. Rude people

b. Smelly people

c. People who are passive during sex, I want to know what you want (I don’t like passive people in general, makes me crazy)

65. Name something that would make you stop in the middle of sex.

a. being arrested

b. Bloody nose?

66. Would you answer a phone call during sex?

a. I have in the past, but it’s too distracting and kinda rude

67. Would you ever pay for sex?

a. Probably no

68. Would you accept money for sex?

a. Probably not, but I did once have sex for smokes. That is kinda the same.

69. How do you typically feel after sex?

a. I feel relaxed, maybe a little high, and sleepy.

70. Do you like your body?

a. yes

71. Ever sent nudes?

a. yes

72. Have you ever cheated on someone?

a. yes

73. Have you ever been cheated on?

a. Hmm, I don’t know.

74. Would you have a threesome?

a. yep

75. Would you have a foursome?

a. probably

76. Would you take part in an orgy?

a. sure

77. Would you let’s train be ran on you?

a. No

78. How often do you masturbate?

a. Most days

79. Sex with the lights on or off?

a. both

80. Sex with music or tv in the background?

a. If necessary, but I like it quiet. I like to totally focus on what’s happening.

81. Do you have a cousin you’d fuck if you weren’t related?

a. Yes

82. In your last relationships, rate the sex?

a. It was ok at the start, then kind of just went away. 8-9 and then 3 maybe

83. Do you sleep naked?

a. yes

84. How often do you go commando?

a. Few times a week

85. Are your nipples pierced? If not, would you get them pierced?

a. No, and no, that would just hurt

86. Do you dive right into sex, or converse first?

a. either

87. After taking your clothes off, what’s the first move?

a. Making out

88. Do you make the first move?

a. yes

89. Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a day?

a. yes

90. Do you like dryhumping?

a. Yes

91. Can you twerk or do a split on a dick?

a. I think no

92. Have you ever been recorded during sex?

a. yes

93. Do you watch porn during sex?

a. I have

94. After fucking, do you try becoming friends with a one night stand?

a. Meh, no

95. What’s your kink?

a. Anal is my favorite

96. Would you hook up with the same hook-up again?

a. If they were worth it, sure

97. Ever made a relationship from a one night stand?

a. No

98. How romantic are you during sex?

a. A little

99. Describe your sex in 5 words or less.

a. I have hours, let’s fuck.

[heart-holes]

looong ask meme under cut, sorry, i cant sleep

When was the last time you masturbated? like a week ago probably?

Do you enjoy being fingered/fingering? ugh yes pls

How do you feel about food during sex? not a huge fan tbh

What do you do directly after sex? aftercare! and then after aftercare, usually go to sleep, or watch something idk

Cuddle with the tip in? never tried it, sounds kind of hot? 

What’s the nastiest sexual thing you’ve done? foot 69ing? idk what we mean by “nastiest” but thats prolly the most unconventional

Name a follower you would fuck. no

Name a follower you have fucked. no

What’s the sexiest part of your body? my shoulders i think? or this mouth uwu

FuckMarryKill: DJ Khalid, Rick Ross, Fat Joe i only know who two of these people are and dj khalid doesn’t eat pussy so....next

Would you ever be with a trans person? lmao yes 

Riding dick or doggy style? doggy style please!!! please fuck me doggy style its my fave position

Ever fucked in a school? does my college count

Most random place you’ve had sex? dance studio in a freshman dorm i literally didnt even live in when i was a freshman 

Would you ever be part of the mile high club? if jacking it counts then i already am 

Name three of your spots. the sole of my foot, my left nipple, and my really big one: behind my ear

Fuck on the first date? yes for sure

Do you suck dick? i’ve been told i’m very very good at it :3 

Do you eat ass? yep! not nearly often enough

Do you eat pussy? actually never done this but i’m sure i’d like it if i tried

Do you like kissing? yessss i could kiss for hours with the right person

Is farting during sex sexy? no

Ever fucked in the shower? yeah, not a big fan

How old were you when you lost your virginity? 18

Do you prefer sex in the morning, afternoon, or night? afternoon is ideal

Do you like drunk sex? not that much, no, i tend to get sleepy and spacey when im drunk

Do you like high sex? yes but only if i’m subbing or we’re doing a vanilla things; i don’t top high 

FuckMarryKill: Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; Kash Doll idk who kash doll is but i’d marry nicki and fuck cardi b 

When was your first kiss? i was 18! the same day i lost my virginity, with a different person.

How did you meet the person you lost your virginity to? an orientation week friend introduced me to them

Have you ever faked an orgasm? yeah but only like twice

Ever painted/been painted on? no but i’ve been drawn on with sharpie

You like sex toys? havent used a lot of them during sex but yeah i love vibrators and am learning 2 love dildos

What’s your favorite sex position? depends on the partner but it’s usually doggy if i really love you, missionary-- way more intimate

Sex on a bed, couch, or floor? bed pls 

Do you like car sex? eh

You get instantly horny; what happened? someone kissed behind my ear

FuckMarryKill: Trey Songz, Chris Brown, August Alsina. am i somehow too old for this meme? is that what’s happening? who the fuck are any of these people. i kill chris brown.

Describe your crush. what an adorable subby boy, what a sad fool

Woukd you ever be with someone with an incurable STD? i have been before! dont know that i’d do it again. depends on the STD i think.

Rate your head game. 10/10 tbh im really good at giving head

Rate your sex. depends on what you want from me? probably like a 7/10 tho

Would you fuck someone outside of your race? yes?? why is this even a question

Describe the type of freak you are. i’m a tease you in public just to let you know i can kinda freak

Ever tasted your own nut/cum? yep!

Into golden showers? noooo hard limit 

Body count: Under or Over 25? under

How do you feel about nipple play? very pro! love to do it to men who have never had their nipples stimulated before

Where do you like to be nutted on? im more of an “in” person

Which are you better at: topping or bottoming? i have a lot more experience bottoming

What do you consider “too small?” can’t really feel anything under like 4 inches but size doesnt matter that much

Is play fighting foreplay? oh hell yes it is

Do you like angry sex? the best sex ive had has been angry sex but i dont know how much i like it as a general rule

How long should a quickie be? i dunno, i haven’t had a lot of them

How long is “too long” to have sex? if im too tired to keep going i stop, but until then we’re good to keep going

How long is “too long” to go without sex? i dunno! it’s been like a day for me and it feels like too long

Is “no” relevant in a relationship? what even is this question of course consent is still relevant in a relationship in a TPE that might change if you agree on it but like yikes

Do you believe in no-strings-attached sex? yeah i sure do

Would you have sex in a public bathroom? i would!

Would you have sex in a changing room? i would!!

Who was the last person you had sex with? depending on what we count it was either my ex or the boy im fwbing

Describe your type. it seems to be “basic jewish boy who knows things i don’t” tbh. bonus points if they’re particularly good writers or singers.

Name 3 turn-ons. being choked, biting, being edged

Name 3 turn-offs. piss, spit, misgendering

Name something that would make you stop in the middle of sex. being misgendered 

Would you answer a phone call during sex? yep

Would you ever pay for sex? yeah sure, if i had a sex worker friend who was ok with it

Would you accept money for sex? yes definitely please pay me 

How do you typically feel after sex? tired and a little annoyed, unless im in subspace

Do you like your body? no

Ever sent nudes? yep

Have you ever cheated on someone? yes, unfortunately

Have you ever been cheated on? depends on what we count-- was cheated on emotionally in high school, i guess

Would you have a threesome? yes! and have

Would you have a foursome? yes! and have

Would you take part in an orgy? no

Would you let’s train be ran on you? yeah ok

How often do you masturbate? every few days i guess

Sex with the lights on or off? on!!! i wanna see you

Sex with music or tv in the background? music pls

Do you have a cousin you’d fuck if you weren’t related? what even is this question no

In your last relationships, rate the sex? my most recent was a 10/10 goddamn that man could fuck

Do you sleep naked? no

How often do you go commando? ridiculously often

Are your nipples pierced? If not, would you get them pierced? they’re not, and maybe if i had had top surgery

Do you dive right into sex, or converse first? i like to converse a bit first 

After taking your clothes off, what’s the first move? time 2 suck some dick

Do you make the first move? yes!

Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a day? yes!

Do you like dryhumping ? yeah!

Can you twerk or do a split on a dick? no 

Have you ever been recorded during sex? i dont think so but its possible?

Do you watch porn during sex? yeah i have, not my favorite thing but i like it fine

After fucking, do you try becoming friends with a one night stand? generally yeah

What’s your kink? edging

Would you hook up with the same hook-up again? yes!

Ever made a relationship from a one night stand? i tried once, went badly

How romantic are you during sex? not very but if i love you i’ll get way more romantic during

Describe your sex in 5 words or less “shhh”

#mine #text #long post /

[somedaypast-thesunset]

i was ready for bed and heard the call of weed again - or what i hoped would be weed but instead was 10$ which is probably honestly for the best in the long run. i probably honestly need 10$ more than i needed weed - and they stll smoked me a few joints anyways. 

but it was good to speak to other people. to regain a sense of my surroundings that is not the little bubble of the 5 streets that seperate my house from his. because ive lived in that very protective bubble for atleast several weeks and although its protective, its not a bubble thats for me. i am just like hitching a ride on someone elses bubble and neglecting my real life because it sucks. and its hard. 

it 3am. and i want to like pretend im going to make some fucking plans for tomorrow an do things but i dont know if i will. i know that this is a very weird way to be living right now and i have to excessively apologize for fucking living in a squat house at this point. it doesnt have to be thiissssss bad. this is stupid. but i dont have the energy to make it any better right this second so im just kind of thinking about it - which is super typical for my life. that describes my entire being. 

the way i would describe this week has been like an rpg video game but like.. in a metaphysical world. like i existed in this world while also in another world of my mental being and continually battling shit that was just .. really stupid and unnecessary. this was like a frustrating shittly made rpg. and the first couple of levels are painfully hard where like its just grinding and grinding to be able to do anything. and then once you get to thing you grinded so hard for its lik the most impossible glitched bugged out boss but you already put 80 hours of your life into it so youre going to find that 1 in a million fucking way to beat the boss that for som reason in itself has like  17 side quests you have to complete before you even touch the guy. 

and its like the people aroud me are shitty people watchng a stream of this video game but all they see is my webcam. they dont see the actual game. they just assume what the fuck im doing or how im doing it or if its hard or not and give me vague advice that kind of rings true to the situation but they have no idea whats actually going on anyways. and like everyone in awhile you get this shitty comment about how you suck or you’re a failure and its like you dont even know what the fuck is happening on the other side here right now because im doing pretty well for the circumstances at hand. 

i dont know if im even at the final boss i think im on the 17 side quests. and like i dont have fucking time for this but i also dont not have time for this because its life or death inside of my head right now. you cant walk away from that its very serious and im stuck inside my head. 

being around other people helped. but like i wouldnt have been able to go out and meet these people for a random thing. i wouldnt. but the way it was set up - and that in itself felt like a fucking side quest to make it happen; i felt comfortable and could sit and just observe a conversation and just participate when i felt like it. i didnt sit and moan about my life at all. i was more than capable of having a normal conversation about totally neutral topics and common interests. most of the time i just listened but listening made me feel acknowledged. lke i also existed because this person was telling me someting and to them in that moment i was important because they wanted to tell me this thing. 

because they wer emore acquaintances than true friends i “knew”, i was also able to regain reality by seeing their own display of personal greivances. if i shared mine, they would have been worse. and times in my head i couldnt help but think you know you guys are actually kind of lucky. these things could all be a lot worse. you have a lot going for your life. but this is life. and they have their own set of problems which weigh heavy on them enough to need to air their issues to people they dont actually know very well. and that says something, regardless. they also feel a sense of desperation in expressing something that maybe theyre not even expressing to other people. 

i didnt take that chance with them for myself though. i was very subtle - or i perceived myself being subtle when talking about the issues ive had lately. im also really confused by these issues - the side quests. because i know these are side effects of the drugs and im panicking about very odd things that dont need such a sense of panic but its bringing to the surface the idea of these problems existing at all. like focusing on not having family. i havent had family for awhile. this is not the most pressing issue but it was killing me for hours on end. and like - this takes up way too fucking much of my day. to be sooo panicked about something you cant even do shit about is exhausting. and then like i project these feelings on to him because i want to share something with him - like i dont even know if i want to share a life with him because im crazy and this is crazy and everything is fucked. but i want something with him and being crazy and too fucked to work / find a job is standing in my way. i have nothing to prove im a functioning human. and im barely a functioning human, honestly. like it is very surprising i am 27 now. thats fucked. 

regardless if i do something or not, things are going to change dramatically in my life in the next several weeks. because i am very sure i am going to be evicted. and i probably very much deserve to be evicted. i owe atleast 3000$ point blank in my life with all my debts, which it could be more - and i have no job and ive spent weeks trying to “get better”. thats terrible. i absolutely deserve to be evicted. i am already homeless and i live like a homeless person squatting in a random apartment i got lucky to find. like this is fucking nuts the way im living right now. and people are witnessing it. they literally have witnessed this and thats pretty embarassing. 

again in my head im like oh yeah im going to get up tomorrow and just go out and look for work. but i havent showered in three days. or eaten anything substantial - out of catatonic fatigue and general lack of care - and ive pretty much allowed the cats to piss on everything i own so i have no clean clothes or underwear. i just let everything around me go to complete shit 

and its funny because i naturally wanted to solve my issues with weed. like a fucking power up to get through the worst of it and i went through fucking everything and everyone to do it. with no fucking money. i made money and still got weed. thats how fucking well i did that. 

and yet.. here i am. this is ... like im the weirdest craziest person to be around. i really think i have to be like pretty up there in craziness. like the perception people must have of me ... if its even a ‘perception’ since its probably the reality but im like .. crazy bitch over here. i cant even imagine knowing me. i cannot even put myself outside of myself and imagine knowing me as a person. i would be a super frustating person to witness in life. i am really .. i dont know. ive existed on fucking nothing. like how did i even do that. why would he even be around me for this long outside of his own craziness. like why the fuck would you even love me. its not even a self pity thing im generally like ... appreciative that i am being loved but wow why would you. i really offer... being a nice person. thats what i got in life. i am a nice person who is creative and like fairly well read & intelligent with an assortment of domestic skills none of which are really top notch but they get you through. other than that i got nothing. i got debt. i got shitty cats that even im like these are probably our last days together. i have good looks which is probably why im honestly getting by in life and have gotten by so far. and that honestly is not even something to gloat on because its not like im super fucking hot. im just a good looking person. like slightly above average. i have a pretty nice body as well but i dont keep in shape in anyway and am frequently malnutritoned. ive also completely scarred probably 70% of my body which is very obviously done by me. so thats always fun when youre about to fuck someone for the first time. and i mean.. im not even that into sex. ive been called a tease more than once because i allowed my good looks to give me what people were offering me when i knew it was because of my looks. i wanted something, but i wasnt interested in them. 

i have no formal education and dropped out in early highschool - like very early. i dont drive. i dont have a car ad defiinitely could not afford one. i dont even have a bike. i cant afford public transit most of the time. im a nice person, you know. i’m caring, sometimes to a fault. i have potential to give a very serious kind of love to the right people. but thats it. thats what i have to offer a person in a relationship with me. thats what i have to offer in a life with me. i mean, i dont even have real interests. i watch documentaries. thats honest to god my biggest interest and has been for months. its like a fucking hobby in some ways. i watch guys playing video games on youtube - a lot. i dont even play video games. i honestly dont know why im fucking watching it. this is totally unnecessary and ive done it openly and just fallen asleep peacefully. why? thats so weird. thats such a weird thing to do. i smoke, alot. i smoke a ton of weed. thats one of my worst qualities. i cost a lot of money and make .. none. the amount of money ive cost other people is probably in the thousands and that was out of kindness. just so i could exist. but i know it does help me. it helps me cope and to leave it behind with no coping skills is really unhelpful to my life. 

so where do i start? probably by going to sleep. waking up at some decent hour - its almost 4 now so i hope for 10, but this is just spewing dreams in alot of ways. i could wake up and continue to lay in bed for hours. somethng simple like stretching - which i honestly really need after this anyways. taking a shower. trying to clean my house. find money, just.. keep finding money and money resources. thats the best i can fathom right now. i want to say ill find a job but thats so complex of a hurdle i just .. i can successfully find money in trade for simple labor. not a job. fucking.. eat food. i have food. i literally have food to eat. i just need to get back ... i dont know. somewhere. back in myself. 

tommorow will be the beginning of the final battle right now. there will be more battles, more shitty rpg games, but this battle will be finished soon and im getting back to real life. real fucking life.