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jimraisedmeup · 2 days

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TICK // 7.1 - personal jesus

Rating: mature (angst, language, sexual content)

Word Count: 1400

☾

Reach out, touch faith

Your own personal Jesus Someone to hear your prayers Someone who cares

☾

New Year's Eve 1983 - junior year

…the room was dark. You couldn't tell where you were. A house? A bedroom. A soft blanket underneath you, headlights of a distant car flashing from behind the curtains on the windows.

Though the lights were off and you didn't recognize the room, you were certain of a strong sense of safety. A comfort in the unfamiliarity. Was that the sound of a guitar playing softly? Maybe… somewhere in another room.

Suddenly, it wasn't car headlights illuminating the dim room anymore. Moonlight poured in through an open window, pale and lucid.

And a figure could be seen stepping towards you from the shadows. You still didn't feel fear. You felt bare and vulnerable, but anticipation took over your senses.

Blurry flashes of silver rings and the smell of cologne… like everything else around you, how you knew the scent was on the tip of your tongue. You knew that smell from somewhere.

All of the things around you, the smell, the man, the sound of the music. Mysterious in your surreal subconscious. But it also felt like coming home, as natural as whispering the name of someone you loved.

"Hello?"

He stood in front of you, waiting. A hand reached up and touched your chin, silently asking for you to look up at him.

Gripping the blankets behind you, your gaze lifted towards the moonlight and was dazed by brown eyes, a shy smile.

Everything shifted, jolting you quickly. He wasn't standing in the beams of light anymore. No, he was on the bed with you. Underneath you.

The feeling of his hips between your legs and his hands sliding over your thighs raised goosebumps on your arms.

"Wake up…"

Leaning down, you kissed the man with the wandering hands and shining silver rings. No question about it - in your dreamlike state, you knew this was the only thing you wanted. An instinct.

You grasped for his belt buckle, still kissing him feverishly, lifting his shirt to access his jeans...

"Hey! Wake the fuck up!"

The transition from a deep, sensual sleep to the embarrassing reality of your bedroom dropped onto you like a bucket of cold water.

Sun poured in through the windows, much like the moonlight in your dream. And, of course, there was no man in your bed. Only the lovely Robin Buckley standing in your doorway, tapping it obnoxiously and looking at you expectantly.

"Hmm?" you mumbled, dragging the blanket over your head, still not quite awake.

"You looked like an actual corpse lying there. I had to make sure you didn't, like, die in your sleep or something."

You rubbed your sleepy eyes. "I might have just been in heaven."

"What?" Robin asked, nose wrinkling. She shook her head. "You know what? Nevermind. I don't think I want to know."

You sat up and squinted at the girl leaning on your door frame. "So why exactly did you wake me up? Besides to check my pulse?"

"You can't let go of your famous cranky morning attitude for one day? It's New Year's Eve, dingus!"

Oh, fuck. "I totally forgot what day it was. What are the plans, again?"

With the stealth of a ninja, Robin shut the bedroom door behind her so your parents couldn't eavesdrop.

"I thought we had a deal!" she whispered. "You've got plans with Nancy and Carol, right? I need you to tell mom that I'll be with you all night."

Yawning, you finally scrambled out of bed and over to your dresser. In your sock drawer, stuffed inside a rolled up pair of socks, was a crumpled bit of paper.

"Sure, no problem. But I'm not going with Nancy."

Robin snorted. "Should I even bother guessing who you're going to see tonight?"

Still cranky from waking up, you threw back your own prying question.

"Should I even bother guessing who you're going to see tonight?" you snapped, but instantly regretted the tone of your voice when you saw a flash of hurt in Robin's blue eyes.

"Look, Robbie, how about we make this easy? No matter where we both end up, let's tell them we were at Carol's with Nancy. Just meet me at our spot half past midnight, yeah?"

"Do you think this will actually work? We've never asked to go out on New Year's before."

Robin looked apprehensive, but you didn't miss the spark of adrenaline on her face.

You gripped the paper in your fist tighter. "No idea, but eventually they're going to have to realize that we aren't their prisoners and we can be friends with anyone we want."

☾

Feeling unknown And you're all alone Flesh and bone By the telephone Lift up the receiver I'll make you a believer

☾

Eddie was almost out of his front door when he heard the phone ring, shrill and disarming.

He stopped in his tracks for a moment, listening carefully to his father picking up the phone in the living room. A few seconds of silence, then some mumbling.

"Ed! It's for you!"

The call he had been waiting for.

On the last day of school before winter break, the brown eyed boy meticulously scribbled his phone number on a piece of paper before stuffing it into your locker. After the passing of Christmas and almost a whole week, Eddie wasn't sure if you would ever call. Or if he had even put the paper in the right locker.

After the day you had skipped school together, he had been a little discouraged by the wall you suddenly built between them. You were avoiding him in the hallways again. A wall was always up with you, though, and Eddie could easily tell how private of a person you were.

But he truly thought you both made progress that day. Hot chocolate, driving his van around the old factory across town. Learning about each other and laughing at stupid shit. He figured those would be memories you could reminisce over, years down the line.

Or was he just being a hopeless romantic? This was real life, not the fantasy of a brave knight fighting for the affection of a particularly sullen princess.

Plus, c'mon, he was Eddie Munson. A freak. But who exactly were you?

"Hurry up and grab it! I ain't got all day, kid. Jeopardy is on."

Of course, his dad was already drinking and his patience was short, even on New Year's Eve of all days.

He ran quickly to the kitchen before his dad could hang up the call. Eddie almost dropped the phone in all of the commotion.

"Got it!" Making sure that asshole actually hung up the phone in the living room, Eddie Munson composed himself and spoke calmly into the receiver. "Hello, sunshine."

"How did you know it was me?"

Your deep voice, your golden honey voice. Sticky and sweet as it dripped onto his existence.

"Oh, you didn't know? I have psychic powers. If I focus enough, I could probably even tell you what you're wearing right now."

Eddie's tiny effort worked, and the laugh he elicited from you was like music to his ears.

"Joke's on you, Munson. I'm actually not wearing anything."

He could have choked on the room-temperature coffee he was sipping on. So much for composure.

"Perhaps my powers are failing me, then," he sighed dramatically. "Happy New Year's, by the way."

There was a pause on the other line. "Hmm, don't go saying that just yet. I was calling to maybe make plans with you tonight."

When the slightly stunned boy didn't answer right away, you continued.

"Unless you already have other plans? I know it's kind of late notice…"

"No, no," he replied quickly. "Well, I have some plans with Jeff and the guys, but not all night. I'm a little surprised to hear from you at all, to be honest."

"Yeah… I have… strict parents. They don't exactly approve of some of the people I hang out with."

Ah, Eddie thought to himself. Another piece of the confusing puzzle.

He leaned over to peek around the corner into the living room. His father was focused on the TV, chugging beer and letting out an occasional wet cough.

"Sunshine, I know all about difficult parents."

"Maybe we could talk about it tonight? Or have I scared you off?" As usual, your blunt, cocky statements sent shivers down his spine.

"Freaks don't get scared, Buckley!" he chuckled, "I know a good place to watch the fireworks at midnight. Just let me know the time and place to pick you up."

☾

Your own personal Jesus Someone to hear your prayers Someone who cares Your own personal Jesus Someone to hear your prayers Someone who's there

☾

(song lyrics credit: "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode)

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danibee33 · 1 day

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The Queen’s Guard- Chapter 7: Trust

knight!simon riley x queen!reader

cw: dark themes, *pls read at your own discretion*

word count: 3.8k (everything in italics is a flashback)

[<<<< chapter 6]

You still feel the faintest tremble in your fingers, your cheeks ruddy from the cold night air that breezes over your skin and through your hair. The world seems so bright, even in the darkness- like you could see every wonderful, beautiful thing in a way you simply couldn’t before. Like you were lighter than the winds, and higher than the sky. You feel like you could be flying.

And if you had known just how good being dead feels, you certainly wouldn’t have waited so long-

+++

“What?!”

Simon places a finger over his lips, silently shushing you; and you know better, immediately regretting the outburst, no matter the shock that lingers in your system, discretion was still paramount—

Your clandestine meetings had been growing more frequent; waiting for the moment he would be relieved for the night and your handmaids had flitted away to their own rooms, their own lives- so that you could slip behind the heavy wool tapestry that now hangs over the entrance to the tunnels.

You always meet in the same spot, making your way to the small adjoined alcove where you would find him waiting- either toying with his daggers or simply staring ahead, lost in thoughts you so desperately wished to hear until he heard your muffled footsteps, the sound of fabric rustling, that alerted him to your presence.

He would usually still be in his armor, his helmet sat carefully to the side- but this night, well, you couldn’t help but to admire the way he looks for a bit longer than you’re proud of.

Instead of black steel, he was covered in warm linens and rich leathers, still dark in nature, with a riding cloak over his shoulders and most of his face concealed under a heavy cowl. But when he saw you, you could see how his whole demeanor shifted. You watched his shoulders relax and the tension bleed away from his expression- watched his eyes flicker and glow in the candle light as he reached out for you, pulling you into his arms just as he did nearly every night now-

But, you weren’t in his arms anymore, no, you were pacing fervently- one hand propped on your hip and the other tangled in your hair,

“Simon, are you sure? I mean- this- this is ludicrous-”, your voice is quiet again, but each word feels labored and breathless, your lungs unable to fill themselves properly, “What you’re suggesting-”

Tentatively, he steps forward, capturing your arm easily, your name spoken so softly, in a way that conveys patience and gentility while still demanding your attention, “Breathe, My Queen.. C’mere-”

He wraps you into a tight hug, letting you bury your face in his tunic, and gods- the way his scent fills your senses, his overwhelming heat, the mass of his arms caging you in, protecting you from yourself. And when he speaks again, you lean in even more just to feel the baritone reverberate through is chest and right into yours,

“There is no other way.” Simon starts, “None that would assure that they’ll never come searchin’ for you.”

The moment he feels your breathing settle to an acceptable rate, he steps back, but only far enough to frame your face in his hands- those damned eyes prying you open; not in a destructive way, no, but in a way that reassures you, that tells you he can see your trepidation, your apprehension. A look that tells you he only wishes to open you up so that he might take them all away, let your burdens rest on his shoulders-

“Do you trust me?”

Your answer comes without pause, because it’s not one you have to give a second thought to as you turn to kiss the inside of his palm, your lips brushing against the rough skin, “Of course.”

And there must be something about the conviction in your voice, or the sincerity beaming in your eyes, because Simon sweeps you into a burning kiss so suddenly, your mind has to catch up to your body as you pull yourself closer to him- enjoying how exposed the feel of his torso is to you in these thinner layers. You swear you can feel the delicious bulk of his muscle flexing against you, your hands venturing over the breadth of his chest, reveling in how it heaves with each breath.

“I want you..” You whine into his mouth, your back now pressed into the frigid stone wall, one of his hands still tenderly cupping your jaw as the other holds your waist.

Most every meeting you have with him of late devolves into this; into feverish kisses and eager touches, you know he craves you just as much you hunger for him- more than that, you yearned for him. But, no matter what you do, or how far it goes, his self-control and willpower seem to far surpass your own, and it always ends with him holding you still- pressing sweet kisses against your forehead and your hair, his voice so kind and soft that it could bring tears to your eyes,

“I know, sweet girl..” He whispers, still kissing you, though you feel his hands tensing- ready to put a halt to it if he feels even the slightest slip in his control, “You already have me- m’yours. Only yours. But not like this-”

This time when you whimper out his name, fighting vainly to push his hand lower, your aching core so desperate for his touch, he groans; it’s a low, gravelly noise, his lips pulling up into something resembling a snarl just before you watch his head roll back.

He pulls in a deep, drawn out breath, inhaling through his nose and exhaling just the same- once, and twice. And you realize now, just how close he had let himself get to breaking his own self-enforced oath if he was having to fight it this hard.

Taking one more deep breath, he finally meets your eyes again, moving slowly and cautiously to tuck a stray bit of hair behind your ear. You let him fawn over you for a moment, your head tilted back to rest against the wall and your own gaze nearly as dark as his,

“No. You deserve more than this, love..”, he traces your bottom lip, eyes focused on the plump, pink skin there before flitting up, “When I have you, I don’t want it to be in some dark, musty tunnel.”, he pauses again, tilting his head to the side, “And I won’t have our first time be tainted by the memory of another man’s bed-”

Your breath shudders when Simon leans in again, nuzzling gently against your cheek- the tip of his nose grazing over the flush peak before he plants a kiss in the same spot, speaking again as he repeats the motion,

“No, little queen.. I want to take my time with you. I want to taste every part of you, starting here-”, a sharp gasp fills the void around you at the sensation of his tongue just above your pulse point, still hot and wet when he kisses it with a smirk on his lips, “and here..”

He gently pushes your hair out of the way, exposing your shoulder so that he could mirror the action there as well, drawing yet another breathy little whine from you,

“Stop it, you insufferable brute..” You speak the words through clenched teeth, and yet, your hands pushing down on his shoulders give an entirely different story- but he does stop, standing again to tower over you, completely unfazed by the daggers in your eyes.

And the cocky grin on his lips turns into something much warmer, his eyes not so ravenous anymore, “Believe me,” he savors your name, letting it sit in the air between you before continuing, “when I say I intend to replace every memory of him, or anyone else, I mean it. I want to show you what it’s supposed to feel like, in every way.”

+++

You pull back on the reins to come to a stop at Simon’s side. The horses’ breaths are hard and fast, much like your own, a cloudy mist of hot air dissipating as fast as it comes with each heavy snort. The castle is far below you now, just a speck in the distance, the valley it’s settled in perfectly illuminated under the dazzling full moon,

“Still think we have ‘til mornin’?” Johnny’s voice breaks the silence, his red stallion giving a tired chuff as it hooves at the cold dirt below.

Simon turns back to answer with a shrug- though his eyes land on you first, searching for your nod of approval before glancing to where the Scot waits, “Should. But, we won’t stop yet, the horses can go for a bit longer-”

You dig your heel in just enough to prompt your mare forward. The dark beast is familiar to you- chosen because she’s one of the fastest the king owns, owned, and it shows as you quickly catch up to Simon, taking your place just on his right flank, with Johnny bringing up the rear.

The plan was to ride as far as the horses could go, hopefully putting you outside of the borders of the kingdom before the alarm is raised, before whatever poor soul unwittingly discovers your treacherous crimes-

No.. don’t think like that. It had to be done.

Against the wind, you focus on Simon’s hulking form before turning your head long enough to catch Johnny’s eye. And you hate how sad he still looks, hate the grim set of his lips, and the consistent knit in his brow- there’s been no bright smiles this time, no boisterous banter, or snarky quips. He was still angry with you, and yet, he couldn’t stop watching you like you might vanish if he blinked too long.

But, you don’t blame him. How could you-

+++

Tap-tap … Tap-tap-tap

The world comes into focus again at the sound of your guard’s beckoning- you’re back in the Grand Hall, sitting on the throne, the weight of your crown perched on your head pulls uncomfortably at your scalp as the man in front of you rambles on and on. Something about the year’s bountiful harvest, and you can’t be sure what else, but gods, his voice feels like it grating against your eardrums.

You just can’t be bothered to focus on such trivial things, not when your mind wanders to the promise Simon had made to you- to take you away, to save you. Though, you suppose he’s already saved you in so many ways, more than you could ever make up to him, but you swear to yourself that’ll spend the rest of your life trying-

Hiding the exasperation in your tone, you raise your hand, “Very well, Lord Barclay. Thank you, for your time, and your very thorough survey.”

Simon’s arm is placed under your hand before you’ve even attempted to stand, it’s not an unusual or uncomely gesture, he had done it many times before, but holding onto to him like this now feels too intimate. Because you know how warm his skin is beneath yours, how firm the muscle is under the cold steel and unforgiving leather of his gauntlet-

“Thank you, Ser.” You say evenly, only sparing the most fleeting glance upward to find his eyes already on you.

It sends a shock through your system, and yet, there’s an odd sense of pride that trickles through you as well. Knowing your deception, knowing you can hold him as such, and he can look at you like that, with those around you none the wiser of your indecencies, your unbecoming thoughts-

And it’s only a matter of seconds, from the moment your fingers are settled over his forearm to the time you’re standing, but it’s enough to reignite the ever present burn you feel for him,

“‘Course, My Queen.” Simon bows his head as customary, but just like the first time you met, he doesn’t avert his eyes, and his coy expression does nothing but stoke the flame within you. But, you have a sneaking suspicion that he knows exactly what he’s doing, and that he quite enjoys playing with fire.

—--

By the time you get back to your rooms, the sun had nearly set, the once brightly lit hallways now glowed warmly with candlelight and the remnants of dusk as you stop outside your door.

Simon opens it for you, ushering you inside before relieving the other guard. He would be there all night tonight, which meant you wouldn’t see him until morning- and while the thought of him still being close, guarding your rooms, is comforting as it always has been; you already find yourself missing his touch, his warmth, and it had only been a week’s time since you got your first taste-

Gods, you’re hopeless. And never have you felt more like a spoiled brat than you do in this moment, giving Simon one last pitiful look before the heavy door clicks shut.

The candles in your entryway were already lit, but you find it odd when you round the corner to see your bedchamber still dark, save for the milky light filtering through the windows. Which is the only reason you see the odd shadow hunched over on your dressing bench, and a strangled sort of gasp lodges itself in your throat when it moves- slowly, at first, lifting its head to face the dim light.

“Johnny?”

You turn to grab the nearest candle stick, not registering how the hot wax splashes onto your hand as you set it down again. But, now that you have it, you’re not sure the light helps or only makes it worse, because now you can see just how disheveled he is- his hair is a mess, from the wind or from him running his hand through it, you don’t know. And his eyes.. he’s looking back at you with a wild gleam, his lips parting as if he might say something before they clamp shut again. The ties on his tunic are loose, the fabric hanging open, exposing the tan skin underneath and small chain hanging around his neck-

“Johnny- I.. What are you doing here?” You step closer, seeing the familiar paper in his hand, his fingers creating wrinkles and indentations from how hard he grips it, like he’s afraid to let go of it, but it almost seems to pain him at the same time.

And you know exactly what it is. It’s your letter, the one you wrote to confess your intentions, your plan to die. A morbid living will-

“Oh, Johnny.. I’m- I sent a raven-”

“Shut up.” He growls, and it stuns you, hearing the anger in his voice directed at you. He moves to stand then, not to get any closer- but to just look at you. Eyes lingering on your crown, and over your face, searching for something you can’t see or understand as he takes a small step forward, his mouth twisted into a thin line and his throat bobbing.

Seeing him like this is unlike anything you’ve felt, you think. Seeing your immutable Johnny on the verge of tears, his usually bright eyes, dark and stormy- your chest feels like it’s cracking open the longer the silence fills the space, until your own tears spill over, staining the rug in perfect little droplets. But what can you say?

‘Oh, I’m sorry you thought I was dead- but surprise! I’m not.’?

What could you possibly say to make it better-

“How dare you..” When he finally speaks, you hear the syrupy rasp in his voice, one tear rolling down his cheek- and then another, tangling in his unkempt facial hair, “You selfish, stupid girl! Why would ye write this? Huh?”

He doesn’t shout, but you can tell it’s taking everything in him not to- the restraint shows in the red flush of his skin and the rigid set in his shoulders, the rage in his eyes as he looks down at you before shoving the letter into your hands. Your own tears haven’t stopped, and you feel frozen in place, wracked with guilt and anguish and frustration,

“I’m sorr-”

Johnny huffs out a sarcastic laugh cutting you off, running a hand through his hair, pulling at the roots,

“I thought you were dead.. DEAD, Sunny. And you’re sorry? That’s all you got?”

It’s the way he waves his hand at you that causes you to flinch, and that terrible frustration blooms into full blown anger when he turns his back on you. You crumple the paper in your hand, forming it into a deformed sort of ball so that you could chuck it as hard as you can, aiming right for the back of his head,

“Selfish? I’m selfish?” You hiss, watching with satisfaction as the paper ball hits its target, bouncing off his head and rolling somewhere you can’t see, “My whole life has been serving others- and I’m the one who’s selfish? How rich coming from you, MacTavish.”

He turns on his heel, a look of heated confusion on his face, “What’s tha’ s’pose to mean? Like I haven’t served? Who do y’think is out there fightin’ your wars, your highness?”

With a short scoff, you turn away from- wiping the moisture from your face and yanking the crown from your head so you can toss it on the bed, “Oh, enough of that! What happened to ‘not a lord or a queen’? Are we not just us, anymore? Is that all you see?”, you gesture back to the crown, “Because that’s not me- that isn’t all I am-”

Just as quickly as it had come, your anger fizzles out, the flashfire smothered with a sadness so deep, so profound, you’re not sure what do with it,

“I was tired, Johnny. Weary, down to my marrow-”, a broken sob tumbles out as you wrap your arms around yourself in a lame attempt to find comfort, “I never meant for it to be selfish, I only thought I was doing a favor. For myself, for you. I can’t explain it..”

You watch his own flame die out with your words, watch the furious glint in his eyes settle- and when he steps forward, you don’t try to stop him, you don’t stop him when he pulls you into his arms, or when he presses a long kiss to the top of your head,

“I know, I know- I’m so sorry.. I dinnae mean a word of it, I know you’re not selfish. Hells, you’re probably the most selfless person I’ve ever known. But, Sunny..”, he pulls your face up, wiping the tears and mucus away, looking down at you with a softness you weren’t expecting, his big hands cupping your cheeks and jaw, “When I- When I thought you were..”

He bites his lip, breathing through the word on his tongue- not wanting to say it out loud anymore than he already had, “I thought I lost you..”

It comes out in a whisper, his eyes, still brimmed with tears, so steady on yours it makes your breath shorten- because he had never looked at you like that, and you had never seen him the way you see him now, had never given a thought to the idea of wanting him to hold you like he is now, wanting him to look at you-

No, no- he’s Johnny. Just Johnny.. Your best friend, you had grown up together, seen every stage of each other- from kids to scrawny pre-teens, awkward teenagers at best, you had both seen the other at their worst. So, why are you so surprised to look at him now, and see how handsome he’s become, how tall he’s gotten, and how well he fills out his clothes-

Stop, just stop- you admonish your own thoughts, he’s still just Johnny.. He’s not Simon.

“I know..”, you say, blinking away the tears and wrapping your hands around his wrists, “But, never again. I promise, Johnny.”

That seems to break his hypnosis, focusing on your words, on the feel of your skin on his- he shakes his head, releasing you gently and clearing his throat, the tension that had been there only moments ago gone dormant, “What changed?”

You glance over your shoulder, looking towards the entryway, wishing you could see Simon for just a second, “Well.. we’re hoping you can help with something.”

“We?”

+++

Simon’s path takes you deep through the forests, and as soon as you reach the river, you follow its meandering trail for the better part of the night- guided by the moon and stars, your trio traverses land that you had never seen, much less touched. And you only wish for a chance to see it in the sun, hear the birds singing, and the breeze rustling through the boughs; watch the water babble and flow, glittering in the sunlight.

But, there is something otherworldly about experiencing it at night. You hadn’t been outside the castle walls after dark, ever, now that you think about it- never mind on horseback.

And never mind the fact that you’re doing it to run away from your life, your identity left behind.. everything you’ve ever known..

So, why aren’t you afraid? Why have you never felt more content, more safe, than you do right now? Through the soreness and discomfort, the adrenaline still teeming in your mind and body, all it takes to settle your thoughts is meeting Simon’s gaze- still so steadfast and assured.

Or feeling Johnny’s calming presence next to you, warm enough to cut through the chill. Even if things aren’t as natural between you as they used to be, you know you could still lean on each other, that he would be there for you, and you for him.

But there’s something about the odd tension that still lingers when he looks at you, like invisible tendrils that bind you, pulling and stretching. But you don’t understand it, you only feel the strain, like a warning or an omen, something threatening to snap. But it won’t just yet.. not now-

Simon comes to a slow stop, you and Johnny following his lead up the high ridge. And faintly, you hear the crashing of waves, the wind picking up wildly as you break the treeline.

The cliffs, ones you had only seen as a child, glow brilliantly in the sunrise. It’s enough to steal your breath, and make your head spin. They had brought you home.

You’re so entranced by the glorious sight in front of you, by the sting of your hair whipping across your chapped cheeks, that the feel of Simon’s hand on your leg almost startles you,

“We’ll stop here for the day.. eat and rest.”

He lifts you from the saddle, keeping his hands stretched over your waist until he’s sure you're steady on your feet, “Are you all right, my queen?”

Johnny watches from your peripheral, meeting your eye for a split second before you answer, a tired smile on your lips,

“I’m not your queen anymore, Simon..”

[chapter 8>>>>]

taglist: @spxctorsslxt @ssc7514

#knight!ghost #call of duty #medieval au #simon riley #simon x reader #lord mactavish #I neeeed them #fic: the queens guard #cod #but make it medieval #simon ghost riley #johnny mactavish #also on ao3

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gglitch1dd · 16 minutes

Note

How would Dilf Izuku react if anything happened to reader when she is in labor? For example maybe she faints because she’s losing too much blood (sorry if this doesn’t make sense)

(Sorry for answering so late Anon)

Interesting thing about DILF Izuku is the fact that he is there for EVERY single birth. He is there. He gets the call from the hospital saying that you're in labour and he literally tells his PA that he's officially on leave and no one can say otherwise.

After the first two times, he's gotten the hang of what he's supposed to do and what his role is as your husband. He takes his job very seriously.

He's there to hold you whenever you want him to.

He's an errand boy and he picks up the articles of clothing that you end up throwing off yourself during labour.

He's the object to your verbal abuse while in labour. Yes, he knows it's his fault. Yes, he knows you want to kill him. Yes, he knows that this is another sprout you got to push out of your vajayjay. Yes, he still loves you. Yes, he's going to shut up now.

He supports you with loving words. He's right there by your side. He's scared shitless but he doesn't show it because he knows that you need him to be strong when you feel so helpless to the force of nature that his child birth.

Don't faint. Just sit there and look pretty.

Those are the jobs he has listed for himself among many others like make sure his mom is looking after the boys and have the baby bag ready and not to get a speeding ticket while doing so.

Your final pregnancy with Koda was a scary one. Mostly because you were high risk at the time and other than a small fainting scare, you were fine. Everything was fine. The labour was normal and you delivered the baby safe and sound.

A squealing and crying little baby boy that had deep forest green hair and a set of pipes to wake up the dead. He was beautiful and Izuku was so proud of you. He held you with gentle kiss to the top of your head, tears in his eyes at the sight of his new baby boy.

And for five minutes, everything was perfect. Your son was placed on your chest and the three of you were together. Father, mother and son.

Until suddenly, nothing was okay.

"Izuku..." Your voice was breathy as you raised your hand to hold his arm.

Izuku looked away from his son to you. "Yes?" It took less than a second and Izuku knew that nothing was okay. You weren't okay. You were fading, and you were fading fast. Your eyes were fluttering and suddenly your heart rate was declining. He stood up straight. "Y/N. Y/N! Y/N stay with me." He shouted as one of the nurses went running to check on your vitals.

One of the midwives took the baby out of your arms, the newborn's face twisting into a cry at the shouting.

You tried looking at your husband and you tried focusing on him but your breaths were too slow and far between and your eyes were too heavy to stay open. Izuku held your hand, frozen, trying to figure out what was happening. Why weren't you awake anymore?

Why were you still bleeding?

What did the doctor say? Why were you still here?

Why was he just standing there. Why did he let them position him away from you?

Why couldn't he hear a thing?

His wife was there! You were right there! Yet he was... helpless.

And that's when the sinking terror settled in. The reminder that as a father, Izuku could do nothing when it came to this process. He could do nothing. He wasn't a doctor, he wasn't a nurse, he wasn't God. He could do nothing but watch as his beautiful wife, his beautiful loving wife, mother to five of his children, lay there as they tried to stop the bleeding and wake you up.

Izuku moved to grab onto your hand again, and he prayed. He prayed so hard that his mother would probably be impressed right about now.

How a man who had everything, who had the money, got the fame, the influence, the wife, the kids, the family that he wanted, was reduced to nothing but tears and begging for you to not leave him.

Your eyes opened as you turned to look at your right hand. Holding your hand in a death grip was the hands of your husband. You could only see the head of his hair as he seemed to be kneeling at the side of your bed. You heard him muttering and saying something but you weren't exactly sure.

You raised an eyebrow. "Izuku?"

Your husband raised his head, and that's when you saw his beautiful green eyes were red with tears as they just fell from his eyes. He looked up at you as if you were a ghost for a moment before a sob came out of his mouth as he pulled your hand to his face. He cried and you didn't know why he was crying.

Didn't you just take a nap?

"Izu, are you okay?" You asked him gently. "Why are you crying? Where's the baby?" You asked looking around. Your body felt heavy but that was labour for you.

Izuku couldn't let go of you. "Oh thank God." He let out with a sigh. He kissed the back of your hand as he refused to look away from you.

-Glitch1d

#dilf midoriya #dilf deku #dilf izuku midoriya #dilf izuku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #mha x y/n #deku x reader #mha

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gelly-fsh · 6 hours

Text

Doing that Dr. Who scene but with Jegulus because I remembered I have hands and free will

TW: mentions of torture

___________________/////___________________

When James was suddenly captured while finishing an errand for the Order, he knew he was going to die.

It was a bitter truth, but a truth nonetheless. The Order of the Phoenix didn't do rescue missions, they did not have the enough manpower to even consider it, so even if his friends and family begged Dumbledore on their knees, he knew it would be futile, so now the only thing he could do was to wait for his demise.

It was strange, if he thinks about it. The errand was an insignificant one, he was not supposed to encounter any Death Eaters because he just needed to take some documents to the Ministry, but before he could put a foot in the building, someone stunned him from behind, and then everything went black for a while.

Now that he's awake, confused about how much time has passed, he is trying to make sense of where he was left in. It was clearly a study, but it was pulsating constantly with the dark magic that came off all the cursed objects that were neatly piled in the shelfs beside him. The body bind he was still on didn't let him see much, but he had little time to wonder about anything else as he heard multiple footsteps entering the room.

"Finally, it seems you're awake now" even if he couldn't see him, James recognized the haughty and embarrassingly nasal voice of one if his captors.

"Snivellius, I'm not glad to see you" James replied

"The sentiment is mutual, believe me"

"Lets get this started Severus" a man said, and when he stood in front of James, he could identify him as Rodolphus Lestrange.

"Who are you?" Rodolphus asked

"Go fuck yourself" James replied fiercely. Rodolphus remained unfazed, but when he looked at someone behind James, he felt the hairs of his neck stand in alert, and then he felt it.

"Crucio!"

The pain was blinding. Sirius and even Regulus once told him how it felt to withstand the pain of this unforgivable, how you feel like you have been stabbed and electrocuted in all places at the same time, but no amount of descriptions would have prepared him for the real thing.

It was like that for a while. James refused to answer questions, and the crucioed him, until Rodolphus apparently grew bored of his suffering and just ordered Snape to make him chug down a clear liquid.

"Your name" Rodolphus asked again

"James Potter" he said easily, way too easily, and that when it hit him. Veritaserum.

"Where is Regulus Black now?" Now that question was weird, because Regulus? Why would they inquire specifically about his whereabouts? He is on their side no?

"I haven't the faintest idea" he gritted out, his voice a bit raw from his screaming

"Is that credible?"

"Well, it's true isn't it?" James answered plainly

"Did he leave any objects with you recently?" Snape asked next

"No he didn't" he replied easily again, did Regulus robbed this people or something?

"You're the man he loves no?" Now that questions hurted a lot

"No I'm not" saying it now is not easier than saying it a year ago, when the realization was still fresh, but instead of a bleeding cut, James just feels a throbbing pain that he has become accostumed between the space of his ribs, constant but familiar.

"He is lying!" Snape snarled, looking at Rodolphus, as if he was trying to wordlessly explain his mistake

"Regulus Black does not, and has never, loved me" James was almost glad for the Veritaserum, as it made all the information come out more easily, his mind unable to keep up with the truths his tongue spilled.

It doesn't mean the echoes of his truth didn't scratch the scab that was slowly covering his heart, leaving the wound bleeding and raw, just the exact same way Regulus left it the night he left his life for good.

"You know I'm not lying, you know I am incapable to do so right now" James doesn't know how wise it is to talk back this much to his captors, but he knew he was getting killed anyways, so he would not give them the satisfaction of seeing him cower.

"This is some kind of trick then, there is no way"

"There is no trick" James replied

"My information is correct. I know for a fact you are the man who loves Regulus Black"

"Yes I am, I've never denied it" James said simply, because even after everything, that was one of the only parts James knew he would never change about himself, no matter how hard he tried "But who told you he ever loved me back Snape?" He breathed, and he loved Regulus. He would die soon, loving him still.

"He is Regulus Black" James knew he was getting overworked over this, but this would be the last chance he had to talk about this, so he decided to take it "He doesn't go around falling in love with people. And if you think he would fall so low to be swayed for something like that, you are never getting whatever he took from you back"

"Sir, I assure you he is the perfect bait! If Black finds out he is in danger, he will come to his aid" Snape started to ramble, but James was started to get tired of all this charade.

"Oh, you are but a bloody moron" James sneered "He will not come, you're wasting your time"

"I can assure you Sir, that perhaps he is inside the mansion right now, looking for an opportunity to strike" Snape added

"Well go on and scan the whole bloody mansion then!" James raged "you will find nothing because he is not here"

"Merlin knows where he is right now. But I promise you, he is doing whatever the hell he planned and not giving a single damn about me!" James words flowed out like a stream of water, it flooded his senses, his emotions, he was drowning in the love he had for Regulus that he didnt want to receive or to give back, and everything just felt too much all over again.

"He will not come for me, and I'm fine with that" he sighed, feeling exhausted and defeated, the crucios and the thought of Regulus slowly draining all the fight and bravado he had left

"When you love Regulus, it's like loving the stars themselves! You don't expect a sunset to admire you back" he growled furiously, with hot tears threatening to spill off his eyes "And if I happened to find myself in danger like now, let me tell you Regulus is not stupid enough or sentimental enough-" he needed to take a breath, or a hundred "and he is certainly not in love enough to find himself standing in it with me!"

"This has gotten utterly ridiculous. Snape, you will be punished later for waisting my time, but right now let's just put an end to this quickly, ge doesnt know anything and he admitted to being useless" James could see Rodolphus' distaste in his eyes, how they scanned James as if he were a dirty bug "Dolohov, raise him a little, let's finish this quickly"

He was easily manhandled into the correct position so his whole chest was exposed, James didn't even fight it, afraid that if he did they would not let him die peacefully otherwise.

Even with all the mental preparation, James was not ready to die. At that moment he realized how young and truly inexperienced he really was, a pawn in in a war he didn't cause that was deprived of all the things he should have rightfully lived before, all all the things he had still to live but wouldn't be able to anymore.

Even after everything, even while knowing that Regulus' lack of love for him was part of the reason his life was gonna get cut short, James did not had in within himself to regret it, to regret him.

A million years or just one second could pass, and James would never regret loving that boy.

With him mind set and his conscience at peace, he set his chin high and threw a challenging stare at Rodolphus Lestrange, not moving an inch but quickly closing his eyes afterwards.

"Im sorry" he whispered, and he didnt know to who he was apologizing at all.

His last thought would be Regulus smile.

"Avada -" Suddlenly, Rodolphus started to make a gargled sound before it stopped, and James heard a loud thud falling in the carpet that made him open his eyes in pure astonishment.

Before him was Rodolphus, and he was dead.

"What in Salazar's name-" Dolohov started, just to quickly start doing the same frantic noises Rodolphus made before dropping on the floor too. Snape had a terrified expression while he looked behind James, almost like he had seen a ghost for the first time.

"Please, spare me, Re-" Snape couldn't even finish his begging, because suddenly his head was turned in a funny angle before falling on the floor too.

James didn't want to see, even if a part of him felt a sense of vindictive justice over the fact that his captors were all dead, he didnt know who the culprit was, so James just prepared himself to be murdered by a different hand now.

Until he heard a voice

"Hello, Mon Soleil"

Mon Soleil, that was a nickname he hasn't heard in a while, more than a year if he wanted to be more precise. That nickname took him back to happier times, to happier memories, and it inevitably took him back to the boy that was the reason for it. James opened his eyes at last.

"What are you doing here?" James asked, feeling a bit breathless at the sight of Regulus crouched in front of him "You're not supposed to be here"

"You were in danger, so I came" Regulus was raising his hand, seemingly to cup James face, but even if James yearned to feel Regulus touch against his skin, the piercing pain in his heart and his whole body made him flinch away from his hand

"Why would you do that?" James was not understanding anything at the moment, everything was a blurry of emotions and Veritaserum and so so much confusion that he was sure he sounded pathetic. Nonetheless, Regulus' gaze turned into something softer, and to James surprise, something filled with regret.

"You would never do that, at least certainly not for me" James followed, his whole body was trembling between the pain of the curses and the heartbreak. "I was thinking about you before I died, so maybe I did die and youre just here to make afterlife easier" James muttered, trembling, trembling, trembling.

"James, look at me." The Regulus-thats-not-Regulus said, expression pained "It is me. I came here for you, just for you mon Soleil" it was too much, and nothing was making any sense at all

"STOP!" James screamed "don't use that name. He used to call me that. Don't use that name. Don't-"

"Jamie, I'm so sorry" Regulus said desperately "I'm so so sorry, I will answer all of your questions when we are safe, but we need to leave right now, we need to go"

James eyes tried to concentrate on this Regulus' face, on the soft curls he threaded his hands on multipletimes, the eyes that he lost himself in, the freckles that marred his porcelain skin, everything he could. He knew he looked crazy, but he was trying to absorb all of Regulus that he missed the year they were apart. Even if common sense told him to not go with him, that there was no way Regulus was actually there, all sense of reason always left him whenever he was near, so he slowly reached to take Regulus extended hand, and when their palms united, James felt complete again after so long of being left half empty.

Regulus took his palm with a softness that felt familiar and foreign at the same time as he slowly rised it to him lips, kissing his knuckles softly with a heartfelt "Im sorry" to accompany it.

"Im going to need more than that" James said, his whole arm burned but his mind was clearing from the panicked fog by the second "but that shall wait, let's go"

They had a lot to talk about, Regulus had a lot to explain, but they had to get out of here first.

#jegulus #james potter #james x regulus #regulus black #starchaser #marauders #angst #based on that dr. who scene #mlm yearning #jegulus microfic

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