#and the art i do draw i don't always post (which was true even back then i probably only posted half of what I drew) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

radiant-reid · 1 year

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omg cate the dad bod!spencer post😭 could u please write smth about that but like, not him being insecure about it because i see that all the time! but him using his new weight and filled out form to pin his gf/wife on the bed, face down and just breed her <3

i was a couple mojitos deep when i wrote this

Spencer Reid is so hot.

It's the only thing you're thinking about while he's undressing in the walk-in wardrobe without the door closed, leaving so many beautiful inches of his body to your sight.

The heat inside you is definitely his fault.

"Did you see Belle's art this morning?" He asks as he walks through the door, looking absolutely delectable, only dressed in pants that hang low around his hips.

"Mhm." You mumble, pretending to be reading your book.

Spencer catches you ogling him. It would be practically impossible not to, especially for a profiler who has lived with you for years. "What's your pretty little brain thinking about?" He walks closer to the bed slowly.

"You." It's the honest truth that he knows, and there's not much else to say.

His gloating grin grows as he walks across the room to the foot of the bed, climbing on and crawling up the bed. It gives you the perfect view of his body, where his chest is softer now, his stomach protrudes more, and he's filled out. It's so attractive. Your legs fall open under the covers, letting him stop in between them.

"Yeah? What do you want with me, baby?" He asks.

"Spencer, don't." You hit him on the shoulder, predictably shying away from telling him what you want. "You know what I want."

"Tell me." He growls.

You glide your palm down his chest, stopping at the waistband of his pajama pants. "Another baby." You say before you can help it, which is not the answer either of you expected.

He doesn't flinch at the confession, his eyes darkening. He leans in to meet your lips for a quick kiss. "You're serious?"

"Very serious." You assure him. "We can handle two, right?"

Spencer doesn't miss a beat in nodding. "Yes." He answers. "No more discussion needed."

He works quickly once you nod, grabbing your hips and flipping you over. You pull the covers off, lifting your ass off the bed and pressing your hips against his, where you can feel the evidence of how much he wants you.

"Needy, baby." He coos, hands gliding up under your tank. His wide palms press into your sides while his gorgeous long fingers spread across your stomach.

“Could say the same thing about you.” You bite back, reaching behind yourself and making contact with the hard length in his pants. “Did I do this?”

He groans as you touch him, easily being distracted from getting you undressed. “You’re the only person in the world that can do this.” He tells you lowly.

“Prove it, Spence.” You request, challenging him. “Put a baby in me.”

It acts like an accelerant to the fire inside him and in one swift move, your sleeping shorts are being tugged down you legs, flung across the room.

“First time last time, you know?” He reminds you, still feeling cocky about it. “Think I can do it again? Because I know I can.”

You scoff, determined to tease him to ensure you get the best sex possible. “You’ve got no way of knowing if it was the first time.”

It’s true that you don’t technically know since back then you were having sex so much your daughter could have been convinced on a number of occasions, but you’re both confident it was the first time.

Where you’re expecting words from him, you get actions first. His weight pins you to the bed as his hips rest on top of yours, and it makes you let out a moan without him even touching you. “Wanna try that again?” He offers.

You shake your head into the pillows. “Stop teasing.” You scold when he slots his thigh between your thighs, softly brushing your dripping core with his pant leg.

“You know I’ll always give you what you want.” He promises. He draws his thumb through your wet folds, making you moan as he hums in satisfaction. “Warm up round?” He offers.

Adamantly, you shake your head. “For round two. I need you inside me now.”

He does what you ask, lining himself up and gliding into you in one swift motion. “Fuck.” He groans instantly. You can’t see him put you know that he’s throwing his head back in pleasure.

“Feels so good.” You agree.

It’s not just his cock hitting inside you at the perfect angle. It’s how good he feels on top of you, how his gorgeous body molds so perfectly onto yours.

You muffle your loud moans in the pillow, absolutely not wanting to get caught and have to stop the intense pleasure all over your body.

“God, I want to put a baby in you so badly.” He groans, on hand sneaking back under your tank to touch your nipples.

“Do it.” You plead, rolling your hips against his when he thrusts fully inside you.

He dips his head so his breath is right against your neck before starting to kiss your skin. He speeds up, pounding his hips against yours each time.

“Spencer!” You moan out his name followed by a trail of expletives.

“I know, baby. I know.” He coos softly against your ear. “Touch yourself.” He prompts and you struggle slightly under his weight to draw your fingers to your clit. “Help me make you cum.”

You’re over the edge in seconds, pleasure waves pulsing through you and all your senses focusing on how good it feels.

“Fill me up, Spence.” You beg, tangling your hand in his hair.

He pants against your neck as he stills, releasing cum deep inside of you while he moans out your name.

He falls forward onto you, slightly sweaty chest sticking to you, as you both come down from your highs together. His weight grounds you and it’s warm like being hugged by him.

“That was so good.” You declare, catching your breath.

He nods in agreement. “Love any chance I get to fill you up.” He kisses your shoulder. “And make more perfect babies with you.”

“I just love you.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid smut #criminal minds smut #criminal minds

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thesteriuswife · 5 months

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Today marks three years of Dianthus existing! I made my first concept sketches for her on 11/20/23 💖 this also means it's been three years of Diathesterius! I sometimes use the date I uploaded Dia to toyhouse, the 21st, as the anniversary date just in case I'm late... but I managed to finish colouring this <3 I had actually wanted to do something for this earlier in the month, I even made some very elaborate plans for it... but it ended up not happening! Which is okay 💞 but I still wanted to draw a little wedding piece... so I did! I'll make something fancier when I have more time later on... 💝 I used my own handwriting here for authenticity, but at some point... I'd like to be able to rewrite in Greek for More authenticity <3 Uncropped version (and long rambling post) under the cut 💕 I get a little Vulnerable so don't read it if you're gonna be mean or else I'll like Get You or something

I've made posts in the past talking about why Theseus and Asterius mean so much to me, but I don't think I've made one on why Dianthus herself means so much to me.. so for her own third year anniversary, I'll do that here! before I begin...! the fruit in dia's hair here are from the strawberry tree, arbutus unedo. I associate the tree and its fruit with Theseus but... it's honestly been so long, I don't remember exactly why! Just that, for some reason, I imagine thathis childhood home had a tree of these fruit blossoming just outside his mother's room, and thus he has fond memories of it. Lady Dianthus... she who loves all things pink, actively hates celery, and still has a job at the library despite being so fogetful and clumsy... she who met Theseus and immediately became obsessed because it was the first interesting thing to happen to her- not a parent or someone she's close to, but herself! her first time feeling as if she had a true purpose. She who didn't understand Theseus' obsession with Asterius until meeting he Minotaur, and promptly decided "he's not scary? he's not scary at all! he's just a cow!" I've made sona and the likes before Dia of course, but she was the first in a long time who was truly meant to resemble me in all ways (except for the setting, of course...). I made her design simple so I would easily be able to redraw her, and gave her one of my favourite palettes pink and green and cream and gold. At first I really didn't expect to get that attached to her... I went months without drawing her after her initial creation. but the more I drew her the more I realized how much fun I was having with her...! It's funny looking back on it... originally I had a much more comedic idea for her story, and di not intend to ship her with Theseus in any serious way. It was going to be a completely one-sided love (with Dianthus taking the role of "crazed fangirl" - which she still is, in a way). I'm sure it isn't a surprise but it didn't take me long at all to start drawing ship art of them, creating artworks and writing of Theseus and Asterius was a self indulgent joy for me, so why not selfship art too? I ended up invested, of course. Using Dia I put a lot of my own feelings into a story; a sense of otherness, her loneliness, feeling lost and out of place. I had removed it later on because I felt uneasy with how vulnerable it was, but at one put I had placed one of the most traumatic events of my life into Dia's story- sometimes I think about adding it back, because I know giving her an oppurtunity to open up about it with her beloveds would be something beneficial to Me irl(!). But that's besides the point here... she's a stubborn girl, sweet but arrogant is my usual go-to descriptor for her; that's how I think of myself too, just based on what I've been told (I have a hard time thinking of myself as nice, though others always say so to me...). That may be part of why I tend to look for those features in (fictional!) lovers... something feels good to me about being able to butt heads due to this shared traits, but still coming together and making amends despite it. I do think it's a little funny that the sonas I've gotten the most attached to so far- Dianthus, and now Nerine- have some sort of theme of death with them. Dianthus is literally a ghost, and Nerine is metaphorically one (and maybe liteally, if I ever make up my mind...). Maybe that's just fitting for me, though... hmm... I'm not sure what else I want to say here... I think of Dianthus as "Me but in Hades Game / Ancient Greek context." Of course some events that happen in her life didn't happen to me, or, sometimes, I dramatize it (Dia's mother leaving her and her father to become the wife of a god was inspired by the fact that for the first few yers of my life, my parents were separated... but they always had a positive relationship with one another! Unlike Dia's parents), but she's become a big par

t of me all the same. Just as I am happy and hoping to spend many more years with Theseus and Asterius, I hope to spend many more years with her as well. i think that's all I'll write for now <3 if you read this thank you for being curious enough about me to be interested in all this 😭

btw, here's the first ever post of her... (yes thats my priv </3 i briefly unlocked it to search for this... don't try and follow me over there though it's crazy over there)

#🖼️ manuscripts #🌺👑🐂 love in idleness #@ this site. let me post!!! let me post this!!!!!

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chaos0pikachu · 6 months

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Top is Boring & He Didn't Have to Be

tldr: I'm stanning Top outta spite b/c the show won't develop him beyond being Mew's True Love

Hear me out, I have been on the "Top's a fuckboi" train since ep01 and while I don't think that anymore I do miss when Top had a freaking personality.

There's a separate post to make about what I consider mid writing in regards to Top and Mew's romantic relationship, but I ain't getting into all~~ that in this post. The point is, during their relationship both post and pre breakup, Mew under goes change, and is the focal character in that entire story. He's an active participant in that plot and has subplots with Boston and Ray.

Top doesn't. Top exists only to be Mew's True Love at this point. He has no story outside of that. He wanted to get with Mew for selfish reasons initially, somewhere along the line fell in love (which was majority from Mew's POV), and now just wants to win Mew back.

As a character his story has become stagnant: Top starts the series pursuing Mew, post inciting incident he's still pursuing Mew. Nothing's really changed for him as a character he's doing the same shit.

What does Top want outside of being with Mew? We don't know! It doesn't matter. That's his only motivation: to win Mew back. He character begins and ends there.

He hasn't even been given a scene to like, talk about why he loves Mew so much. Or for us as an audience to understand why he loves Mew; let's look at a counterpoint: Sand & Ray.

Textually Ray has said Sand makes him incredibly happy, we've also seen them bond over common interests like music, Sand has been a foundation for Ray's rehabilitation. We've also learned things about them via them opening up to each other. Ray has opened up to Sand about his mother, Sand has talked about his father, he's shared his dream of traveling to music festivals with Ray. I have my issues with Sand and Ray as a couple, but the narrative has made clear why they like each other at least. And been sure to have them both take an active interest in the other (even if Ray was poor touring for a bit).

We've only seen one scene where we see that Mew provided Top with a sense of comfort (with his insomnia), and then like, nothing outside of that. Everything else is from Mew's pov. Their various dates have always had Mew as the focal point, and none of them had Top opening up to Mew or Mew taking an active interest in Top as a person. So we learn nothing about Top by extension. He's just The Ideal.

I originally thought this was intentional, but apparently it was not and just meant to be viewed as straightforwardly romantic. Because they broke up and we still haven't learned anything about Top outside of: he's in love with Mew, he wants to be with Mew.

Hell during their silent dance date I woulda taken Top saying he wanted to be a disco dancer but is pursuing business instead for stability like something! Top also did coke to cope but that was dropped too and even that ended up being more about Mew than Top. We don't see Top bringing up his past coke usage even as a warning for Mew, or cautionary tale, or even like "remember when you told me to stop doing coke and now you're doing coke what the fuck happened Mew??"

All the other characters at least have interests. We know Top draws, but the show hasn't even given him a like "lemme draw Mew like one of my french girls" scene. Or a scene where he like, shows Mew his drawings of his family and talks about them.

Did Top start drawing as an outlet after the fire? Does his family support his art? Does he have any interest in like, exploring art museums, does he want to open his own art exhibit, or travel to see a specific piece or work or anything??

There coulda been a parallel with Boston/Nick where Top's other boyfriends never took an active interest in his art but Mew validates it making it hurt all the more when Mew burns it in front of him later.

Other characters are allowed interests and backstory to enrich them. Nick has an interest in tech, okay now he's interning at an animation/film studio. Ray has his alcoholism recovery storyline, Sand loves music and wants to travel festivals. Boston likes photography. They've all talked about their families at some point and we've met all of their parents at this point (including Mew's even!).

Does Top have parents/guardians or was he an egg? Is he bl baby jesus?

What does Top want? Who is he as a character?

The narrative may have no empathy for Boston as a character, but at least Boston is a fully realized one. He has motivations, a home life, he has interests, he's going to New York, he's selfish, impulsive and genuinely can be a decent person. He's got relationships with various characters that aren't about his relationship with Nick, nor is that all he discusses with them.

Top talks to Cheum, well it's about Mew. Top talks with Ray, well that's also about Mew. Top talks with Boston (post breakup), yeah, that's about Mew too. Even his conversations with Boeing are about Mew. Heck his convos with Sand are about Boeing and Mew so I guess there's at least a little variety there.

I was hoping for Top and Boeing to have like, A Conversation. Clearly Top feels safe enough to rely on Boeing to help him sleep, that would require a certain level of trust right? Or does Top have a rotating list of ex's he asks for help with this? Or not? We don't know he never discusses it! What was Top and Boeing's relationship like post-breakup? Boeing seems bitter, and yet he's also helping Top out with something super personal at the same time?

Does Top have any friends? People he can open up to about, ya know, himself?

I know that people (shippers) probably would've disliked it but I think there coulda been something if Top and Boston actually became friends post-fucked-up-hook-up.

Their consent was violated after all, what if they got to, ya know, actually talk about that? What if at the party Boston and Top didn't talk about just Mew and after Boston's bitchy comments they had a real conversation? We learned something about Top and how he's feeling outside of sad-mew-dumped-him. What if he told Boston about how he can't sleep, so he's been drawing more, and Boston sees Top as like, A Person, rather than a conquest (lord knows Boston needs new friends who won't call him a whore and say he should've never been born).

Or hell Nick?? Maybe Nick could've reached out to Top and been like "sorry I recorded you having sex without your consent bro" and Top could again, talk about what happened to him and how it effected him outside of Mew?? Nick is good at making friends, he's a good listener, he's genuinely sorry about what he did so why not? Nick could've talked to Top at the party, and it would have opened up a chance to get Top's pov on what happened. Top could've made a friend!!!

But nope! Top's only motivations is just to exist for Mew and it's so frustrating. There's a lot of opportunity to explore and expand on his character and the show hasn't given it. Top went from being fun, messy, interesting, to being dull and boring and it's so sad.

Like at this point I'ma stan b/c he deserves better as a character rip

#only friends the series #chaos pikachu speaks #it's been 11 episodes and what the fuck do we know about top outside of:#he's hot rich prefers polos has trauma with fire & can't sleep and used to sleep around a lot #oh and he's in love with mew #for reasons #god this got so long jfc #chaos pikachu metas

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sibillascribbles08 · 10 months

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Okay ramble that will probably not get anywhere but I will put it here anyway because I saw yet another post about people struggling to get any writing done. And someone in the comments made a good point. You write/draw so much more as a kid because you're less practiced and ergo less worried about the imperfections that may arise from just gunning it.

And this is true! And this is why I want to tell you if you are struggling to write much, learn to write like a kid again.

You know how with a lot of art you see processes and it always starts with really shitty thumbnails that have silly faces or just blobs of color? Then you have an actual sketch (during which the artist likely moves a lot of shit around on a digital canvas) and then possibly the inking phase or just painting which is more blobs that slowly get sharper and sharper the more the images is rendered.

Yeah uh, do that with writing. Going under the cut because long

Writing as a process is something that is unique to an individual, just like there's 800 ways to slap paint on a canvas. If you look at guide books for writing and none of it is sticking it's not cause you're a failure that technique is just not gelling for you.

And as such I can only speak from MY experience with it but like, here's how I generally stay on top of projects

A) Sketch phase! It's outline time baby! "Ughh but outlines suck" listen I know school made the outline phase of an essay the worst fucking thing ever but hear me out on this. Sure some people CAN write by the seat of their pants but in terms of long projects this does not work out for me. I'm inevitably gonna hit a point where idk where to go from there and it's so hard to map all that out in long form

Listen, outlines are not there to be formal. They're not even there to be fancy. This is time to get down the bare bones and if you have to make it only a paragraph long and then extend that paragraph into multiple then DO it.

Like hell, NONE of my outlines are formatted the same! Some are a paragraph per chapter. Others are just endless bullet points that I split up later. I'm sure in one book due to all the plotlines I'm just going to have a storyline for each character laid out in columns so I can draw lines between them. Whatever works.

And again, do not have to be formal, like here is a legit line in one of my outlines

As for the ruined building… Hypno will cover the damages……….. Right? : )

Go crazy.

B) Now that you have your baselines start working on the actual story. Do you like writing shit out of order? Do it, because with an outline you still have your baselines to reference for any important details you don't wanna forget "Remember [character] is supposed to get a scar in chapter five!" Or write shit in order, and every time you hit a lull consult those baselines to say "oh yeah that's where this chapter was going"

And hey, keep writing it like a kid if that's what it takes to get this crap down. Hit a fight scene you don't wanna write? Slap down some brackets. [Insert a fight scene here where [character] gets his head smashed in so he ends up with this concussion later like a dumbass]. Boom, done, worry about it later.

Worried the dialogue isn't flowing well? Slap open another document or grab some paper and write it out in a play format to keep it moving. Add in all the beats, expressions, and details after.

Not sure if this detail you're putting in is historically accurate? Leave an easy to search symbol in the doc so you can go back to it to research later.

Write the sappy shit. Write with poor grammar (but still like, comprehensible you know what I mean). Slip in adverbs to swap out with strong verbs later. Use a run on sentence.

"But it's gonna sound bad" Who cares who tf cares that's what editing is for ! You go back and refine that shit and clean up sentences and add in all the extra research and pull out the repetitive words.

You gotta quit treating writing like you're supposed to just swing your brush on the canvas and suddenly you have some beautiful scenery. There's layers. There's blobs that turn into refined shapes. There's blending and shading. There's fine lines and thick lines. And sometimes there's mistakes that you have to wait until it dries to go back over it again.

It is a process! Let yourself have FUN with the process.

Okay rant over.

#scribs speaks #I will never tell people how they should write #but so many times when I talk to fellow writers who say they haven't touched their WIP in ages #9/10 I ask if they have an outline and they say no #sir you are trying to write a fic that could be like 20 chapters #give yourself some sketch layers

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citrus-cactus · 4 months

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Citrus' Art Summary 2023!

The year is almost over, so here's my art summary for 2023! I got this template from here. This is my third year in a row being able to populate every month with a finished(/digital) piece (and really, I did a LOT more than what's shown here!), so that feels like something to celebrate!

Technically some of these choices don’t match up with their post dates; I counted some months as “when I was primarily working on them” and some as “when I actually published them,” but the sentiment remains. Like I said, it was a busy year! :)

Some more rambling + links to all featured artwork beneath the cut:

I remember last year I was quite worried about/was actually teetering on the edge of artistic burnout. There were definitely some months during this year that I felt a bit overwhelmed (particularly during the summer, when I was working on a 5-illustration series in a style that was DEFINITELY outside my norm, PLUS a bunch of other stuff), but I also appreciated the stylistic variety, and doing a lot of sketchbook drawings/marginalia that were(/are) just for me, so they never had to be "finished” or even "good." Even though almost everything pictured here is Digimon(/anime) art, I did experiment with a more "realistic" style for the Dracula Daily series (Aug/Sept), as well as trying to relearn the "Disney" style I started drawing in waaaaaaay back in high school, only now with a LOT more understanding of facial structure and anatomy. Largely, this style shake-up has been incredibly freeing (these are still sketchbook-only studies at this point, but I'm planning on some digital illustrations in the Disney style in 2024). I'm sure they still look pretty anime-influenced, and I'm not sure I'll ever truly be able to escape that, but honestly I don't mind; the anime aesthetic IS a part of my preference/style!

Let's see, the prevailing fandoms for what's shown here are Digimon Survive and Adventure 02. I really want to draw more Survive art next year!! Really happy with the collabo between @vidramon and myself (July), and honestly most (if not all) of these pieces. I worked hard, I branched out, I took on some really ambitious projects, and finished a ton of things (looking at you, March! That Knight drawing was a WIP for an entire year, but I finished it instead of abandoning it, which is what usually happens when things sit around that long!). Ultimately, I believe I told (and helped tell!) some great stories through my creative projects and art this year, which is my true goal forever and always.

Honestly I'm happiest with April's drawing. That one was a ton of fun to do, but I would have to work really hard to replicate that coloring style because I don't remember my brushes/settings, ahaha. Sadly this is how it usually goes with coloring for me; I make it up as I go almost every single time, which is why series are so difficult for me. I am nothing if not inconsistent -_-;

I would be remiss to mention that a huge part of my productivity this year was due to setting and tracking monthly goals for myself. I gotta thank everyone on the @campdigimonth server for their help in keeping me organized and motivated throughout the year! I plan on continuing my creative check-in posts in 2024.

Next year, I want to a) make more Survive art (particularly with Survive Week coming up), b) draw some more flippin' gargoyles (CRIIIINGE, but no, cringe is dead, I'mma do what I want!), and c) keep working on my personal project! And I am, once again, thinking about bookbinding. That's a "maybe" for next year as well!

Descriptions and links to the full artwork pictured for each month:

January: Survive Week, Day 5

February: Survive Gang Aromantic Week

March: Knight Unryuuji and Friend

April: “Rose-Tinted” fic illustration

May: Happy Birthday Vi!

June: Happy Birthday Haru Shinkai!

July: Happy 1st Anniversary Survive! (aka BEST SOCK FRIENDS)

August: Dracula, September 13

September: Dracula, September 20

October: Adv 02 Countdown Event, Day 7

November: “Boo!” on the Cob

December: Digimon Secret Santa 2023

#the cactus speaks #art summary #art summary 2023 #my art

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sm0kebreaks · 1 year

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So like. As amazing at the tma has been about fat acceptance and love and has been absolutely vital to a lot of my self acceptance as a fat trans man, because this fandom actually talks about fat people (as opposed to other fandoms where fat characters and hcs are nonexistent), it means it’s also exposed me to the most and worst fatphobia of any fandom. I genuinely don’t even gaf about the actual discourse discussed in this fandom, it’s generally the people who negatively react to discourse of ppl complaining about fatphobia. The initial problems are usually ignorable to me, but it ends up bringing up peoples voices that make it incredibly clear what their true thoughts about fat ppl are. Idrk why I thought I should share this with you, ig just seeing if you have similar experiences.

I struggle here because i don't like to feel like i am attacking other artists. i'm a hater and i love to complain but i know i have my own short comings. but when it comes to the fatphobia in this fandom im always left not knowing how to talk about things because people will come to me and tell me why my complaint about someone thinning out a fat character is wrong or bad.

do keep in mind i dont really engage with the tma fandom as much i feel very much on the outskirts so this is jsut what i feel like i see on my end and i'm sure theres way more going on i simply dont know

in recent months we have had a newer influx of artists in the fandom who have come in with their own interpretations of the characters which is all fine and good. its jarring sometimes when we become so used to these formless characters looking a certain way that when new people enter the fandom with different ideas it feels wrong and like an attack.

the biggest issue has been people drawing a thinner martin. and while of course everyones welcome to their own interpretation and martin expressing that he's not exactly the smallest guy has multiple ways to be interpreted it is extremely frustrating to see people take that as giving him the most bare minimum extra weight. especially when having a fat character as desirable and as a love interest and such a Fun character is so far and few between

i could go on and on about how each time a popular artist posts a thin martin it gives everyone who looks up to them the excuse to do the same and it's why it's become such a prevalent thing lately. i don't think popular artists should have to worry about being good role models or anything in a fandom i think if youre making art you should do it for fun but it sucks to see when someone becomes so influential and are creating a problem. i deleted like three paragraphs on this alone so i'm going to move on.

i think what i see in the fandom most in regards to fatphobia is a skill issue. people don't know how to draw fat characters. but it also feels like people are barely trying. the artist i have in mind who i would consider to draw skinny martins DOES add a bit of roundness to him. i can aknowledge theyre doing SOMETHING. but you can't come to me and tell me that i can't criticize their art because culturally that's fat to them... like sure it could be. but it's also definitely a limitation of their art style and ability and instead of defending them and patting them on the back for doing good enough shouldnt we encourage people to grow and improve? what an amazing asset to be able to draw people of all size and variety. thats an AMAZING abillity to have in youre tool belt. i wish i had more resources for drawing bodyfat but unfortunately i do not. i have learned from looking at people and luckily having a lot of large loved ones in my life i've learned from as well as you know.. my own body to learn from. and learning to draw bodyfat and drawing characters i love with it has done wonders for my body dysmorphia.

i went on a rambling tangent and idk how coherent all of that is but the end point is that fatphobia sucks it has no place in this or any fandom and we need to practice our skills instead of erasing something that has made this fandom so wonderful to me.

here's some resources

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feiandart · 10 days

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Posting 'em here again just to boost a bit my motivation today. I made 'em back in december, one of the first drawing I have ever made for myself only.

Will talk 'bout myself and my past from here, can skip it if you don't want my oversharing shit.

So. I used to work as a commission artist for years (5-6 if I'm not wrong), drew bit of anything you could think of and mainly sticked to NSFW art for most of my, uh, let me call that "carreer" even if it's probably the wrong term to use for it. Well, it paid my bills and rent for years, so we may stick to it anyway.

Thing is, I stopped drawing when I was eighteen. People, family first, always told me talent in art was all, practice would never have made it better and I should have kept it as a hobby rather than something to do as a job. Apart from my closest friends, no one encouraged me to practice and study and put real effort on it. I went to an art-based highschool (only because I couldn't focus on studying any subject, and art school is considered one in which you don't actually study at all here, so my parents thought it better to put me there as I wanted "so you can still graduate"), but I couldn't go ahead with art studies in professional comic schools, academies or any artistic department in university. No support on that front. Something like "be Caravaggio or be nobody" mindset was stuck into my head and I started actually believing that it was true. And since I was, and am not, Caravaggio, then what was the point? So I dropped the pencil and just forgot how to draw a fuckin' line for literal years.

Then I turned 22. I moved to another city for my studies. After completing 'em, my parents said me to come back home and I said no. They stopped paying anything for me since that moment, so I had to make things works on my own. Hopefully my rent was really low, so I could afford it with minimum effort, but had to buy groceries with coupons (not a common thing in Italy) and eat a lot less to make 'em last as much as possible. I found a job in a call-center, I cleaned houses and handed flyiers to people. And that's when I found out I cannot really be in social context for too long.

In the end I burned out, left all jobs and was stuck in bed for a month. I was barely 24, without a job, holding tight the little bit of freedom I ever got. I felt helpless and hopeless. I don't remember if my bestfriend or my housemate, but one of 'em said me to come back at drawing and givin' it a shot. What harm could that do afterall, could have been pocket money for a bit if it couldn't stick to something better.

I started from pencil. Then went to digital in a couple months. I practiced, started quite immediately taking commissions and honest to God I don't have the slightest clue of how someone whould spend money on some shit I drew without basic anathomy knowledge and after that much time without drawing. Still have no idea. So I drew. I made some quick animations, never did much there thought. Grew a little fanbase, went on with it for years. I even moved with my bestfriend, living with her alone for two years, got a cat I love that it's my actually support companion right now.

I felt happy for a bit, I believe. Imposter syndrome is always watching me afterall, that never stopped. It's just like there's another person in the room with me all day, whispering me I should do more 'cause I don't deserve any attention. Ugh.

However. I went on with that until 2023. I had to come back to my parent's house in 2022 and got stuck in here since then. Nightmare years. Still a nightmare period, but I'm managing. Thing is, past year I burned out so much I completed all my left commissions in a rush and actually dropped my tablet for months. I used it as a third screen, took away the pen and the glove and swore I would never ever be back at drawing again. Will not go into details of what triggered that burnout, but you got the point, I didn't want to draw again in my life at that time.

This is pretty much when Good Omens entered the room. It was late September, I saw a lot of videos on tiktok and since I watched S1 years ago, I decided to give it a shot to S2 too. It was an istant hyperfocus. Watched all over for weeks, both in italian, in english, in english with italian subs and english with english subs. Never done anything like that in my life before. By the end of October I came back at writing. So I started to arrange things for Up&Down, my first fic after uhm, like 15 years or so. And it felt so good! I went through 42 days of deep writing, posting a chapter a day just for myself. 'cause I wanted to write something I liked for the sole purpose of liking it. And it felt so liberating!

Then I thought: will this apply to drawing too, maybe?

Answer is YES. It did. I was inspired from the fandom, from MrGhostRat's art and Gleafer's, and started drawing again. I dug into english fanfictions, fandom artists I love, and the list just gets longer day by day. I started writing Sugar, and with it I started drawing illustrations for it.

I went from the image to the left to the one to the right in two months. Guys, I'll repeat it: TWO MONTHS. I never had such a quick improvement in years, practicing every fuckin' day, drawing my hands out of my bloody body. I drew for 5-6 years and never got to improve this much. I did now. And you know why?

'cause I started drawing for myself. I'm doing something I love. And I'm getting better at it.

And you know what? I'm quite angry now. 'cause if I didn't stop years ago, who knows where I could have been now. If I didn't listen to people saying me "be Caravaggio or be nobody", I could have done so much more by now. Maybe I could have been able to draw fuckin' furnitures by now. Maybe I would have started being able to draw the same face two times in a row years ago insted of now.

Maybe I could have been the comic artist I wanted to be. Maybe not the best in the world, but I don't fuckin' care of being the best one, I want to be one I'm proud of. I didn't get the chance 'cause out there is full of people without a dream who's only purpose in life is destroying other people hopes.

And you know what? I'm done with that. I'm done with people saying me I'm not a gifted child. I'm done with people coming at me saying I cannot do shit I love 'cause they have reason to make me do something different. People thinks to know what's good for me but I'm fuckin' 30 and I think I know it pretty well already, thank you very much.

I'm managing how to get hold of my choices and things I love now that I'm an adult, but dear Lord I keep on thinking of my young self and I want to hug that poor thing so much I can't explain. I'd love to say her everything's going to be hard, but good in some way. That things are difficult, but they will change. That people are shit, but she should be strong and fight back. 'cause I did it too late and I regret now, but she deserved better.

You deserves better. And I'm talking to anyone who's reading this. I don't know if you went all the way 'til here, but if you did: don't make my same mistakes. You know better than me. Don't let people spoil the things you love, don't give 'em power to destroy your will and put you in a closet for the time being. You don't deserve that.

Don't miss your chance 'cause people doesn't want to see you happy to be yourself. Don't do that. They don't deserve that power over you.

Love yourself more than I loved myself. I'm starting just now and it's hell. You can do better, I promise.

#good omens art #good omens #sugar #up&down #deep down fei's heart #overthinking #personal shit #motivation #motivating myself #get motivated

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straycalamities · 12 days

Note

how did you come up with making Entre? What inspired you?

the onceler LOL and homestuck

okay story time w chase ahem

so actually how i got into tumblr at all is very relevant to the chain of events that led to entre existing. so before here, i was mainly on a...particular art webbed site that was basically a sinking ship circa: 2010 so i forgot how i heard about tumblr? but i joined here at first just to do naruto comm rp. like my only account was a naruto rp account for the first... i dont remember how long

eventually i got curious enough to make a personal account and started being active on that. a bunch of my friendgroup from the other site moved with me and we were just hanging out being naruto nerds. at some point i got into homestuck/learned about the askblog format. i don't remember which came first, but i DID run kibanaru and flutterdash askblogs before the lorax was a blip on my radar

i remember when i was in the homestuck fandom, i was so used to the naruto fandom where like..sure it's huge but i had established myself in a corner of it and it felt very like... it was a community! and in the homestuck fandom i didn't feel like that at all. i felt swept out to sea and it was very lonely tbh aside from the friends id manage to drag with me into it, but i always felt a certain dissatisfaction from my time in it

a friend of mine was the one to show me the lorax and the once-ler. i don't...remember how THEY found him, but they were already very into him before they even came to me about him. and they basically nagged me into watching the movie LMFAO (this was when the movie was still freshly in theaters so all we had was shitty camrips and LiveStream was a thing) so i started to draw smexy onceler and oncest fanart to mess with them and...well y'know ye olde saying about doing things as a joke.

so yeah i kinda got...genuinely interested in him. especially after i watched the 72' short and reread the book and was like wait. this movie is mid as hell actually. (the siren song of mid media) and i was like "well if /i/ wrote the movie id do this n this n this n this" and then all that added up in my head and i was like wait.

what if i did a once-ler askblog where i just change certain things to what i like? it wasnt gonna be a complete revamp/remastering because i wanted to do a proper askblog so i wanted to have his character be recognizable to any fans of the onceler. and this was wayyyyy before anyone was getting the idea to do the very creative and expansive onceler takes we have these days as a norm. so it was kinda like? being shoehorned into being Canon!Once-ler because?? that's just how you did askblogs back then

BUT!! there were a few other askblogs already around back then (end of April 2012 for ref) so i didn't wanna do what everyone else was doing (very much Established Business Once-ler/Greed-ler, Vest-ler/Oncie, or Aftermath Once-ler) so i got the idea to do the onceler but! he's still very fresh and new to his business. still basically vest-ler/oncie in personality but with big things on the horizon.

i started creating his blog the weekend before may. that's why his birthday is May 1 because that's when i officially started his blog and posted his first post and all that. literally when he was born.

so yeah this was all to try and find my niche in a community again as well as do what i'd already been doing for years now: waving my headcanons in ppls faces via my art LMFAO

it was honestly pretty new for me in a bunch of ways so it was very scary. i even tried to keep it a total secret at first. i thought people wouldn't recognize me for my art style.... (yeah idk how i thought that'd work either) and i mean??? for the most part that was true because it's not like anyone in the once-ler fandom would've known me beforehand anyways

so for the first uhhh...idk it didn't last long tho..i was a secret mod, but i got too itchy about sharing art that i didn't wanna put on his blog so i broke that pretty quick. i had a lot of personal rules i put on myself on what to do/not to do on and with his blog. and i still, to this day, follow a handful of them. so when i drew other stuff that i didn't think fit on his blog, i was like well damn i wish i could show this somehow...

tho sometimes i wish i'd tried to keep up the secret mod shtick a little longer

anywho. from there it's kinda like..he really just grew on his own. new ideas, new inspiration, new experiences shaping this or that. now i can write him without touching him for years like i just picked him up yesterday. he's that wormed in my damn brain at this point. he's basically his own person sitting in my head telling me what to do with him/what he'd say

so yeah at first? it was just me trying to write a very accurate 2012 movie onceler with a few tweaks. and then he just grew organically into what he is now. that's still his root and so that's still the default direction i try to take, but he definitely has a lot of things that make him his own person at this point too. even on his main blog.

as for why he's so stupid goofy. well. that's because i like drawing dumb expressions. the end. and in the end i'm glad his main blog remained super unserious and lighthearted because it really helped me mentally a bunch (those random spikes in activity? yeah it was for my own mental health LMFAO he helps me...a lot...because of the escapism and comedy)

bonus: as for truffula flu entre. i don't remember if something in particular inspired me to make him the ender of the world. i just felt like it'd be a fitting story for the once-ler for him to be in that spot. and from there i just approached him how i thought someone like him would react were he to find himself in that position.

my goal was always to make him as human as possible. like he's technically the villain of this story, but he's also the protagonist. yaknow. so i wanted to really interweave those two ideas interestingly into his character (and now im obsessed w it)

originally i thought of truffula flu as everyone doing their own storylines. i didn't expect at all that everyone would adopt MINE as all of THEIR canons. that was LKFJSLDKF a big surprise for me i was like wait what. i guess it seems silly now in retrospect that i didn't expect that, but i was just like "well this is entre's story. ppl can do whatever else they want tho" but suddenly entre's story was everyone's story. and it's pretty cool i can't lie

#asks #Anonymous #entre #this was a fun ask to answer thank u for it!

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woetoy · 8 months

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Anon art human again, I mean finding views or just acknowledgement for you art, I'm broke and either way wouldn't feel right blazing the nsfw stuff I draw but it gets no traffic or notes. Idk leaving an ask was impulsive but I really respect your art and was curious how you got your followers, if it was more a waiting thing or you found the right areas to post.

I dunno, it probably takes patients to get attention but finding motivation to make good art and then getting nothing but emptiness and boredom at the end of the process isn't motivating lol. Anyways Im thankful for your response and apologetic cause I got this trigger instinct to just blurt my questions to the cool artist I found on tumblr, and I'm sorry for bothering you so

No worries, I just felt bad that I didn't understand ya!

Getting noticed depends on a lot of things. I've had several accounts through 12 years spent on this site, and this one is the first that kinda popped off!

Do you make art that has crowd appeal? As in, is it a little silly, cute or relatable? Does it have a story behind it besides looking pretty? Is it attached to a fandom? Are you making stuff for an underrepresented niche? I often see people make something that is technically impressive, or their personal best, but it doesn't get shared too much because it lacks that appeal. It sounds harsh, I know, but it happens to me too. Until recently, my most popular piece was a doodle I banged out in an hour - just how it is, but I'm happy it resonated with people! You can have a look around at what other people post and see which posts of theirs do better or worse as well.

I don't follow the rule of posting at specific peak times, or posting every day. But I do try to tag stuff appropriately. Tumblr only uses the first 5 tags from your post in the search function, the rest you use for categorizing for your blog. So if you're starting out, it really is a waiting game until someone notices and shares your stuff, unless you have a buddy that can boost you.

I come here to have fun, I make art for me and if other people like it - awesome! I don't really optimize that well for social media reach, I just have my characters and their little stories. I do my specific niche of porn/kinks that are fun for me to draw and talk about. It helps that I have a more solid art style now than I did when I started. Apparently I've been doing NSFW for the past 7 years, and early this year is when it took off on tumblr.

To counteract the emptiness, it helps to have friends to bounce ideas around with or to make characters together with. It's why I create, really. I do it with friends because that's what I find fulfilling. And then I feel driven to draw and post about it as well, and that's been true all this time for me.

I hope you can find fulfillment as well, I think it does come through sometimes if a piece was made for reach or from personal joy. I for sure see that in ancient fanart I've done, I hate those pieces. But the personal stuff that I did for fun is still cute to me, even if it did get at most 5 notes way back when.

Sorry if my thoughts are jumbled. But yeah, this is what I do and what worked for me. But it's always different person to person. Much luck in your endeavors!

#woetxt

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wellnoe · 6 months

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Hey! I adore following your art and it so inspires me to draw as well. So thank you for your work. I wanted to ask how you imagine Magneto in your style and what impact he has on your Scott's story or character, if any. The Uncanny X-Men Comics around the Nation X era where the two develop a super interlinked dynamic have always been super interesting so I was wondering.

thank you!!

hmm well i have posted magneto i think exactly twice, as part of a commission (x) and as part of a gift (x). the gift was done this year so its probably more indicative of how he'd look in my style, but also i think my art has been changing a lot in the last couple of months. i like magneto, but he is not one of the characters infesting my brain and motivating longer projects, so i just draw him more rarely. even in stuff i don't post.

tbh the nation x stuff (as w a lot of stuff post-2000s) is kind of a big blind spot w me. i just kind of bounce off superhero nation stuff i think no matter who's involved. but i do like the bit of stuff i have read concerning magneto and scott.

i think earlier magneto spends a lot of time thinking of scott (and the original five x-men) as like. extensions of xavier. like he cares about his relationship to xavier and his philosophical and political opposition to xavier and anything scott says politically doesn't get filtered through as scott's position so much as xavier's position as stated by a particularly rigid and kind of harsh student. i think this basically bc magneto has a tendency to talk through the other x-men to charles when he's in villain mode, and also bc in my mind stuff like god loves man kills does position scott as an extension of xavier. like. scott's the true believer here. he doesn't doubt, even when charles himself does. the way magneto comes to see scott as his own person with his own political ideas is really cool to me, and i enjoy seeing the like. backing magneto has for scott? it feels like it is founded on this decades long non-relationship of seeing scott and the x-men continue, which is then helped along by a new closer relationship.

ig my thinking on how magneto impacted scott is like...not very much on an interpersonal level, for a long time. like they just didn't actually know each other that well at all, and scott's really into adopting some of xavier's position as pretty like. rigid rules. like scott is more uptight than charles is. i think magneto largely operates not as a person but as an idea for him to orient himself against and also a threat that sometimes tries to kill him/ kill other people/ make scott's day worse in some other way.

i think in general scott is kind of confused by magneto?? on an interpersonal level?? which is part of what makes their later dynamic fun to me. the idea that scott can continue to be confused and frustrated w magneto even as they become much closer and be like oh ok. this isn't an x-men vs magneto thing, you are just kind of annoying and confusing on purpose. he's just kind of like that. i think after you get into utopia and afterward scott clearly comes to value magneto's opinion more, but before that magneto's not even a guy to scott he's just this like. nebulous idea of what scott is against and also scott does not like him.

#like outside of aperture au (au specifically designed to explore how scott is affected by magneto) i think there's just. a lot less to say.#or maybe not less to say but i am picking up less so #w.ask

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megidoreyn · 3 months

Note

Heyyy it's about the art questions

I would like to know your answer in 18 (the purpose) and 22 (artspiration).

I would also ask 3 but I'd completely understand if you prefer not to answer

The rest are already answered

Hope you have a great month. ;D

Hey there! Thanks for the questions!

⭐️3. Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand

→ It was a real trip down memory lane to look back on some of these, but here's a sample of some old things from 2021-early 2022! (Prior to posting on social media in Aug 2022) Back then, I didn't have any real incentive to improve my art outside of drawing quick sketches like the pictures above. I had issues being cleanly (due to lack of motivation), committing to learning character details, and more LOL. →Fun fact, I drew on a very tiny 11 inch screen 4GB RAM laptop with horrible color calibration for about 3 years until finally getting something better in early 2022 too LOL. It might be noticeable in some of the above pictures with the color choices being a little too light or too saturated, LOL.

→As also seen at the bottom of this post, It might come as a surprise that I also draw fanart for my favorite assorted fandoms outside of megaten too, LOL. I just never post it in public since they're meant as warm-up doodles!

To be honest, 2020 thru late 2022 was a very low point in my life. I had given up on all creative endeavors at the time due to: My career, being diagnosed with a bodily issue of which the effects I still deal with even today, and other personal issues.

It truly wasn't until late 2022 (when I started posting online) that I truly felt confident picking up my tablet pen again and view art in a more positive light…!

NGL I had written out my entire life story here but ended up deleting it--it would have made this post terribly long regardless LOL💦 Perhaps it'll be a story for another time, though!!🙏 And it absolutely has to do with why the Samurai husbands mean lot to me!

⭐️18. What is your purpose for drawing?

→ That's a good question! For me, (especially due to my visual agnosia) it'd have to be the ability to draw whatever comes to mind with skill and precision. To not hold back and draw whatever comes into your mind's eye without fear or hesitation from others (or your own critical inner voice)… And to be able to properly convey the meaningful themes of your work as clearly as they come into your mind... That, to me, is true freedom.

➡️As for BL content: Despite not posting much of it in public (yet), my purpose in drawing BL (or OTP content in general) is to transmit feelings of love + warmth in my art! To depict tenderness, warmth, and love with affectionate, natural-looking body language to make it as believable + realistic as possible...That's always been my goal! →The world is a scary place out there. Though, if my OTP content can make someone feel a slight glimmer of peace, tranquility, or even hope to keep moving forward...then I'll be incredibly happy!🙏💕 It's always my intention to convey nothing but sweet wholesome vibes and warmth with my pictures, and I truly hope that feeling comes across too. ➡️I'll be super candid and say I actually really enjoy angst and raunchy content as much as everyone else! But drawing wholesome + sweet characters in love just comes much sooo much easier and naturally as breathing to me, LOL. Just because I don't post angst or raunchy things, doesn't mean I dislike it! ☝️

⭐️22. List at least one of your “artspirations.”

→ I tend to gravitate towards professional artists with thick painting (厚塗り) coloring styles, dynamic illustrations, and artists that have a strong grasp of anatomy, character design and storytelling! It's hard to pick just one, so here's a brief selection of ones that come up at the top of my head right now!

Thanks again for the questions! Have a wonderful January and rest of your 2024 as well!✨🌟

#askbox #walterjonathan #ワルヨナ #rare SMT1 waruo/yoshio content too LOL #trust me when I say that's only a mere fraction of what's locked away in the Vaults (tm) of old art #I will always be an old man who is always long winded and has a LOT to say about everything ever LOOOL #but I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this nonetheless! I hope everyone also has a great 2024!

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smimon · 3 months

Text

The other promised personal post, this one about my self-discovery that I completed last year and in the result gained a weirdly powerful feel, like when Eragon found his true name if you know what I mean

Three main paths: art, brain training, isolation.

1. Art

Art was something I always loved, of course all kids do art but I never stopped. I kept making up characters and settings and stories and theme songs and game designs. I did my first zine at like 6 years old lol.

Living in capitalism meant that the most attractive stories were beyond my reach for financial reasons, so out of disappointment I decided to start telling my own stories, as if that was hard. This was all very early in my life and I believe I was always meant to be an artist and storyteller, and the skills I gained only helped me later.

Like when things started to get more difficult around middle school. When family started demanding and gave nothing back anymore. When the only protector I had left me alone to pursue a career, repeating that if they can handle it, I can too - but I was still a child.

When it was forbidden to talk, feel and hurt, I kept creating. Losing myself in fiction, which years later turned out to be much less fictional than it seemed. Most of my writing was about myself this whole time. I was scared someone might find out so I concealed the message so deep that I alone couldn't see it anymore.

And new stories kept coming, I kept drawing, the XP I gained brought improvement. Never completing anything but always creating something new, finding endless joy in rotating the blorbos in my head. And this continues until today.

Many many times I had doubts if it's all worth anything, a devil telling me I should drop art. And always some inner force pushing me back to the drawing desk. So many times I had to ask myself the question: why do I keep making art? And finally, very recently, I have found the answer.

I am an artist. Artists make art. It's that simple.

2. Brain training

Similar to other body parts, brain can be trained. Solving puzzles, finding patterns, learning, math, there are many ways.

For me it was trying to understand my family.

Recognizing patterns level hard. Predicting what will happen. Inventing ways to protect myself. Teaching myself to do things no one would explain to me but everyone demanded me to know.

School was easy compared to this. Studying gave results in a short term, sometimes it was even fun. Teachers noticed and behaved as if it was their success. Other kids' parents noticed and started bullying their children to get the same results, because if I can do it, why can't they? They were not abusive enough to trigger a similar mechanism, but abusive enough to make their children hate me.

But I haven't noticed. I had a few friends and did not even notice everyone else was against me. This was my elementary and middle school, and then at high school the level was much more even so I could be more invisible.

All the time I tried to figure out my family, and they kept surprising me. All the time I could get good grades, and felt like this is the only thing I am good at.

But as Master's degree approached, I had to accept this can't continue forever, that I am not smart enough to get a PhD. That after graduating I will have to start a job, live a normal life, do things I never learned. I was sure I will die within months, but hey, it's been years already and it only gets easier!

My true victory came just a few years after. I have finally realized there is no way to understand my family because they are simply irrational.

That's it! I am free now! High-fiving all the mathematicians who proved a problem to be unsolvable because hey, that's an accomplishment too!!!

3. Isolation

Introverted by nature, I don't like to spend too much time with people, especially the same people over and over again. Especially my family. Three days is my limit.

And I was tied to them all my life. So when I finally moved out, the sudden experience of freedom overwhelmed me. I did not want to give it away until I get saturated with how good it feels to be alone. Also, gaining distance feom my abusers allowed healing to start. But before that, long hours of remembering and understanding and grieving. Gaining courage to finally meet myself, discover who I am. Forget who I was supposed to be. A journey of self-discovery that brought peace and hope and skill and confidence.

But I am still human. Humans are social animals. I need some contact every now or then or I go insane.

For a few years, I used pokemon go. Going to raid hour every week. But everyone was busy playing so the contact was very shallow.

I started going to fandom conventions trying to relive the same kind of wonder I felt as a teenager. It is different this time, of course. I got used to the fun parts. Nothing seems as impressive as earlier. But even then, I felt like this is my place, and my kind if people. I only needed a way to connect.

Then Käärijä happened, of course. Suddenly I had a thought: the biggest fandom convention in the country doesn't have much to offer for me, but maybe I can do something crazy, maybe I can make this event a bit more me-friendly. I returned to fb after years of break to ask on groups if there are any Käärijä fans willing to meet up.

And they were. It only gets crazier from there.

I started talking to some of them. One suggested a Frank fanclub because we all had some Frank gadgets. I designed a sticker. I designed another one. I organized three meetups, day after day. People came. I made friends. A group chat was founded. Was it me who did it?

Then another crazy idea. Make more stickers. Repeat this at other conventions. And so my convention tour started. With many many stickers.

And then I start a daily Käärijä sketchbook. And then I find friends through the stickers. And then I find friends throught the art. And then the friends warm my heart and break it open and put a foot inside so it doesn't close back too soon.

And I realize I am not alone.

Okay?

So I am an artist, I stubbornly forced my way through my early years and ended up with a pretty cool job, and now I get just enough money and independence to decide how to spend time with people who are in general pretty amazing after all ✌️ still no idea what I want next but I am really happy I made it to here

#diary post #vent post #yeah it's. it's all connected #my biggest accomplishment is figuring it all out #truth does hurt but in the end gives freedom #semira origin story

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nyalternatehellkitten · 18 days

Text

@madharemuses replied to your post “((I have a headache so I'm watching an FE:Engage...”:

[I want to enjoy Engage. I like the art design, I like the characters, I like the gameplay, but for some reason I just can't really bring myself to enjoy it. Also, it lacks replay value compared to most previous titles, so I feel like I spent too much on it.]

@gensokyogarden replied to your post “((I have a headache so I'm watching an FE:Engage...”:

ENGAGE GOOD

((Ayyyy we have the big two(tm) opinions here! Joking aside, I reply to these responses in the same post because I want to share some general thoughts. I'm not trying to pit you against each other by highlighting your opposing opinions lmao. Even though it's been a few days, Engage has been swirling around in my head for about a week or so now, and I do want to give my thoughts to you two, who responded to me, at least, so that post I made doesn't just become a big jebait or whatever the term is. So, spoilers, Zane's thoughts, and etc. etc. beneath the cut. Oh yeah, and it's long so don't read it unless you want to know what I think of a game I've not played, that a lot of people have been dismissive towards.))

I am writing this across several sittings. At the time of writing this statement, I'm watching the Avalanche map, so basically I'm right near the end. (I've also seen some supports, but the guy whose playthrough I'm watching is doing them offsceen because he doesn't want to waste his audience's time with grinding.)

This isn't going to be a structured review, it's more of a slightly-edited thought-dump.

My overall thoughts of this game so far, which is an impression unlikely to change, is this:

Fire Emblem Engage is a game unfairly criticised as worse than it actually is. It's not a super good game, but it does not fall as far below the 'average' standards of the series as much as people say it does.

Before I get into the full swing of things, I need to offer a disclaimer: I am out of touch with the series. I've played FE3-12 and Echoes, which means I'm missing FE1, the game that started it all, and Awakening and Three Houses, two immensely popular games that made big changes to the way Fire Emblem works, brought many new people to the fanbase, and generated a lot of attention. (I also haven't played Fates, but it's a bit less relevant to what I have to say.) I have never been interested in Awakening or Three Houses, but they changed the Fire Emblem 'landscape' so much that I would consider myself out-of-touch simply because I haven't played them.

Addressing some common criticisms

The two main complaints I see first-and-foremost on the internet that dominate over the better-formulated criticisms are: It's too anime and the writing sucks.

Now, the anime thing is stupid. Fire Emblem has always been anime; it's a stale and tasteless counter-argument, but it's objectively true. Most Fire Emblem games at least partially reflect the anime style popular around the time they were made, and all of them draw some influences from anime in general. The designs are too colourful and fancy for my taste, but I still find them enjoyable (Chloe and Etie are probably my favourites? Not super fond of Etie's Archer outfit but the player I'm watching made her a Warrior and she looks fine). In fact, I think this design choice was good; they clearly wanted to deviate from the grimness and seriousness of Three Houses, and can they be blamed for that? Making that sort of story can get heavy at times, so for an anniversary game I feel like going for something lighter was the right choice. Overall, the presentation in this game is excellent; not enough to make me love it like I loved Echoes (which was carried by the presentation alone for me), but good enough that I enjoy seeing it on my screen.

The second criticism is the writing, which is semi-valid. It's almost-good in a lot of places, but there's always one or two tiny details holding it back in my eyes. It's frustrating, because I feel like Engage would actually be quite well-written with a few fairly small edits that remove some of the issues or make the stupid parts (Chapter 10-11 Time Crystal) less stupid. The issue I have with the criticism is not that it's wrong, it's that people act like all of the other games in the series are god-tier writing or something. This is objectively untrue; most Fire Emblem stories are fairly straightforward or cliche plots carried by a cast of one-note, but enjoyable and likeable characters. Liking the characters makes you overlook the flaws in the plot. Just think about how many Fire Emblem games are about awakening or summoning some kind of all-powerful dragon or dark god (or both), and then think about how often that actually bothers you simply because you like some of the characters.

Let's talk about the writing for a moment, since this is an RP blog and therefore revolves around writing

It sounds to me like Engage's writing is actually really average by Fire Emblem standards (it can't be worse than the GBA games at least, if you ask me) but it's issue is that it came after Three Houses, a game which tried to be very different from the rest of Fire Emblem when it comes to writing. I haven't played Three Houses but I have seen people react to it. The amount of time people spend debating and arguing over who's in the right or wrong, beyond just which lord/house they like, shows that the game provoked more thoughts from its players than just "Oh I like this character more than this other character." Engage clearly has not done this, and parts of it that could form a good running theme just don't quite connect. The dots don't quite link up and the stars don't quite align. It falls just short.

In my head, I'm comparing it with other Fire Emblem games and I don't think it's that much worse than some (fairly well regarded) entries in the series. For example, in FE7, everything Ephidel does doesn't really make sense since he's formenting a rebellion in Lycia to gather Quintessence for Nergal to summon dragons... even though Nergal already has enough Quintessence to summon a dragon. In Sacred Stones, Eirika is supposed to be the diplomacy route, and yet everywhere she goes, stuff(tm) happens and she gets dragged into fights because Fire Emblem requires things.exe to happen so that each chapter can be a fight. In Binding Blade, the big exposition was Jahn explaining Idoun's backstory... through the medium of Roy seizing like 20 thrones in one chapter. In Monshou, the big main idea of Hardin being turned evil was great and executed pretty well, but most chapters are "So you're fighting dudes loyal to Medeus or Hardin" and the story is mostly about Marth trying to figure out what's going on in Akaneia. It's not bad, but it's hardly some god-tier story that has the player hanging off the edge of their seat at every chapter.

By comparison, Engage has an issue with build-up and payoff. The payoffs are often good, but the build-ups often don't do them justice. For instance, Morion was a good payoff because while what happened to him was quite predictable, Alchryst and Diamant's boss conversations with him are great. What's lacking is the fact that he gets captured by Hyacinth like... one chapter after he's introduced, after raising a million death flags. If he had been a green unit (or even a playable character with a big "Morion will go back to ruling his kingdom after next chapter" warning, or his stats transferring over to Diamant like with Nils and Ninian in FE7) for a while to let the player get to know him better, then his death would have been more impactful. Let Alear agree or argue with him about certain things; Alear needs to interact with Morion's pretty strong force of personality (that I think is pretty well demonstrated, even if it's quite one-note, in his first appearance).

Likewise, Lumera died too quickly. We needed a few more chapters for her and Alear's relationship to ripen. If the game had opened with Alear sent to Firine (upon Alfred's request, to help deal with Corrupted and bandits), with Lumera accompanying them but not helping them in battles to help him readjust to being awake, then it would have probably worked out better pacing-wise. Little happens character-wise in those chapters, so slotting in some Alear-Lumera interactions would have helped establish Alear's personality and motivations for the rest of the game. After Firine, they could return to Lythos for a little bit of R&R with Lumera promising to teach Alear more about the Emblems. Then the attack happens, she dies before she can, and the game proceeds with Brodia after that. It makes Lumera more impactful because the player gets to see her relationship with Alear more, and it makes their feelings for her stronger too, since they now have time to experience how she's their mother and acts like it.

One last example I will give is Zephia. Her whole death scene is kind of invalidated by the fact that she's been speaking as if the Hounds are her family for the whole game. I think a little tweak could really have fixed it. Take 'family' to be the theme of the story; a lot of Fire Emblem games place emphasis on bloodlines and family. Engage could have taken that both ways: that sometimes, blood family is important (e.g. the royal sibling pairs in the game) but sometimes your found family is just as important (Lumera and Alear) and sometimes your family can be abusive and bad for you (Sombron and Veyle, Zephia and Marni). How does Zephia fit into this? Well, imagine if her dialogue was tweaked ever so slightly. The idea is that she misunderstands how family should be because of Sombron (what he said during the time travel part). She longs for a real family, but because of Sombron she thinks that family should be abusive. Seeing Alear and Veyle helps her appreciate what family should be, and she helps them because of that. She dies thanking Griss, and hoping that Marni will forgive her in the afterlife. There we go, a villain given a better redemption than the weird one she got in the game, and completing a theme/story/lesson for the game as a whole.

Zephia also suffers from the buildup thing. The Hounds have a lot of screentime but they don't really do much with it; Griss and Zephia get their motivations and backstories infodumped as they die, and Mauvier spends the first half of his appearances being all "I am a knight I follow orders" when he should have been dropping hints that his true loyalty was to Veyle, rather than just mechanically following orders. If some of that screentime had been used to develop that Marni wants familial love, while Zephia misunderstands what a family should be, and Griss thinks of Zephia as his mother/older sister but struggles to convey that since his world is dull when he's not feeling pain, then it would have made them more compelling than the four big mooks you knock over 13 times throughout the story. Oh yeah, and of course, they do the "I must retreat" thing way too often. Fighting them feels completely insignificant because they never die until they suddenly do.

Lastly, the characters are all quirky and... oh boy. I've seen people complain that the Engage characters are more one-note crazy than usual. That... doesn't feel true to me. They feel like they're less serious than usual, but that's Engage being light-hearted. I've seen serious stuff (Alfred's illness, Hortensia's feelings about stuff) but mostly it seems to be on the lighter side. I don't mind, but I think it should have perhaps been a bit more of a balance. I will say this thought: of the supports I have seen, character motivations at least seem to make sense and stay decently consistent.

Some of my other criticisms

I would argue that there are a few things holding the game back. The writing, I have already mentioned. While there are plenty of good individual moments, there's often a lack of good build-up or connectedness that makes the whole feel like wasted potential and staleness. The gameplay, I think might actually be the most tactical in any Fire Emblem game so far; you can't just air-drop a god-unit into any situation with 1-2 range as easily because of Weapon Triangle breaking, and chain strikes mean that positioning actually matters, and tanking isn't infinite. This might not be a good thing, however, as I get the feeling that the average casual Fire Emblem player... doesn't care about gameplay much. It can't suck, but a lot of the time they do just want to make their favourite unit into a god and drop them into whatever situation.

One of the biggest problems is the Emblems, however. They're not really written as themselves. They're more like echoes or shadows or ghosts of the character they're meant to be. They often feel like they were written by someone who'd only read a synopsis of what that character was like, instead of seeing and analysing them (which... is probably what happened). The Emblem ring bond supports are bland and soulless most of the time, with often no connection between the character and the Emblem based off their commonalities (though to be fair, writing 12 Emblem supports for each character would have been hell). Regardless, all of the Emblem characters feel way too superficial to actually matter most of the time, they mostly exist to reference their own games a lot or provide the same basic statements about things. The advice they offer in the story is... logical but kind of bland and uninteresting. Sometimes they feel right, but most of the time they feel... not very good, which is not great when they're meant to be a big selling point of the game. It's like the Emblems are supposed to make you so excited about seeing your favourite characters that you don't stop to think if they're acting in-character. I won't comment on them too much gameplay wise, since I think that as much as they are meant to somewhat represent their own games (e.g. Sigurd being mobility and canter, Lucina having dual strike stuff) there's a limit to what you can do since most Fire Emblem games play quite samey.

Another issue I think that Engage has is the lack of post-game. Relying on DLC and Multiplayer to create replayability for a single-player game is just... objectively a bad idea? It's not what people are mostly there for. Watching the playthrough made me think "If I were playing this game, I'd want to run some of the other characters in side battles to see their supports and find out more about them." A post-game would be good for that, maybe with a bonus series of maps like Thabes was in Echoes. As it is, I've seen no evidence of that sort of thing.

I want to say some nice things

So I actually quite like Alear. Not a lot a lot, but a fair lot, if that makes sense. Based on everything shown about past Alear, and the way Alear loses their memories, their character makes sense for most of the game. Past Alear was emotionally stunted because Sombrero is the worst Fire Emblem dad in the series, and present Alear has a serious case of no-thoughts-head-empty at the start of the game. Given that everyone treats them super well (worships even...), it makes sense for them to develop a positive outlook on life, a strong fondness of their friends, a solid sense of duty towards everyone counting on them, and also feel kind of creeped out at being worshipped. Alear also feels a little more complete as a main character to me, oddly enough? I haven't played those games so I can't say for sure, but Robin and Corrin both often gave me a weird vibe like they're meant to be the player's self-insert but didn't commit to it enough. Like they wanted to make a self-insert character but then realised they needed to insert more character for supports, interactions, and story beats. Alear, on the other hand, feels like they wrote a complete character and then had to shove the self-insert in, to their detriment.

I also need to talk about Yunaka. I think Yunaka did something no other Fire Emblem side character (non-main character) has ever done: she immediately made me want to read about her supports to learn more about her backstory. Most Fire Emblem characters show up and I'm like "Okay, so this is this character's vibe. I'll find out more in the supports, I bet." Yunaka though... as soon as I heard her battle/crit quotes and saw how much that differed from the quirky "OwO I am cute thief" personality she was projecting, I was immediately like "There's more here. I need to know what her deal is." The game immediately shows that she's good at acting, and as soon as you put her into combat you see a side of her completely different from the one you saw before, and that sparks curiosity. That's good. Fire Emblem doesn't do that, instead it tries to establish the one note that its one-note characters are based around in a good way so that the player knows what that character's deal is. This time, it did that, and more. I haven't seen all of Yunaka's supports yet, but I will go through all of them when I get the chance to. I must know.

The music and voice acting are pretty good. The presentation and CG art is good. I don't think I need to elaborate on this, I think they're presented in a way that accentuates the atmosphere they're trying to create most of the time.

I'm hesitant about this last bit, but I think the game conveys its characters well. This is something Fire Emblem has never really had trouble doing, so it's not really a thing in Engage's favour, it's just another thing the game is not bad at. The supports (or those that I've seen at least) are good at showing what each character's deal is. That's not hard to do, though it is occasionally not done well (Vaida and Dorcas... a support that shows what their characters are like, but repeats the same joke dragged out three times in a row without really resolving anything).

Edit: Oh, and I can't believe I forgot to say that the really cheesy and campy moments are amusing rather than cringe to me. I think they just barely toe the line at times, but like... given how often the games try to shoehorn the 'Fire Emblem' into it, this really isn't even the worst.

Conclusion

This is the part where I pretend to have a conclusion so it feels structured. I already said what I needed to say at the start, so this is the part I put a bow on it.

I feel like it's hard for me to assess this game. I haven't played it, and I haven't played Awakening and Three Houses, two games that I feel like probably influenced both the fanbase and Engage a lot. But I can't help but feel like it's better than all of the hate it gets. I don't really think it's god tier, but it's definitely not as bad as it's said to be. I think if I did have the opportunity to play it though, I'd enjoy it at least as much as I enjoyed FE6, FE8, and FE11. With the others I played, I think it'd be a bit more up in the air.

If I had to say though, there's enough problems for it to be disappointing, but enough good for it to not warrant the amount of hate I've seen. I feel like the hate it gets is often an instinctual rather than logical thing; rarely do I see people fully explain how they feel, and sometimes some of the people criticising it talk like they're series veterans but it turns out they've played like... 4 games. Still, I can't help but feel like if this game came out after Fates rather than Three Houses, people would have a better view of it.

#ooc #madharemuses #gensokyogarden #((idk why I bothered with this))#((I've been unable to play games and do stuff very freely lately))#((so all of my free time has been watching an Engage playthrough))#((so I think it's been big on my mind lately))#((as I'm writing this I have reached the final episode))#((I doubt my thoughts will change))#((if they do I'll make an edit))#((but like this is a 2 and a half hour thing))#((not waiting that long to write my conclusion))#((kitty is doing his 'I want attention' wail outside my door))

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opinated-user · 1 year

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Seeing LO post more about her childhood, it really shows that she hasn't actually grown as a person.

I understand that she is a fight instead of a flight person. And I get that her parents were antagonistic, which clearly gave her a hair trigger where anything she perceives as an attack gets a violent reaction in return. She says she only goes over the top because people antagonize her, and if people left her alone, she'd be fine.

But that's not true when anything can be a trigger for her. Draw a fan art wrong-- get screamed at. Suggest something she might like to read or watch-- get yelled at. Politely disagree with her cartoon take-- get told to eat die.

On top of that, even if someone does antagonize you or insult you, that doesn't give you free rein to do whatever you want to them. Misgendering and calling fellow trans people things or it, is crossing a line. Calling anyone a nazi who needs to be killed for as little as disagreements trivialities the word and, in the case of Rebecca Sugar, is straight up antisemitic. Being antagonize does mean you get to be transphobic or racist.

If this woman actually went to therapy, she would have learned to control her immediate impulse of strike back and instead access the situation and decide what the appropriate action would be. Instead she lashes out first and no matter how out of line she was, she thinks it's fine because she was 'harassed' when most of the time she wasn't, and even when she, she's way out of line.

you nailed it on the head there. it's so very clear that LO blames her parents or school or her sister of anything before doing any kind of self reflection or attempt at accountability. i don't intend to say that none of them was completely innocent, but on LO's version she is the ultimate victim of everyone for no reason, she never does anything wrong, and that is always going to be dishonest.

#lily orchard

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dotster001 · 1 year

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Another twst writter NICE!

It's rare for me to see matchups in this fandom so I am very much interested huehuehue

I hope it's okay that I go by anon I use they/them pronouns

My personality type is an Into and my zodiac sign is a Libra

at the start I'm the most quiet of the bunch but when I get comfortable enough I end up being the biggest crackhead my friends online are either always caught offgaurd by my shenanigans or used to it at this point daily

even though I seem rather talkative annoyingly very much, flirting with random people in servers,I actually prefer to be left by myself to do my own things I go with the flow and tend to slack off at times but when it comes to things I'm interested in I make sure to give it my all and when I'm in the zone I don't like to be told off what to do, just because I'm a passive person doesn't mean I'll let people step on me I have my own limits and boundaries and won't hesitate to stand up for myself or others.

People usually underestimate me because of how dumb I act at times but when a serious situation calls it's basically a personality switch for me that I have to be in charge if nobody is up for the position, I also make sure to be very attentive to people I'm close with even down to the little details and if one were to ask me about my honest opinion I won't hesitate to be blunt though I make sure to tone it down a little depending on who I'm talking since I'm aware what I say can be rather rude.

Interests:Drawing and playing videogames also making absurd theories!!!

hope this isn't too long have a good day (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

Event Closed

(a fellow Libra 😁)

I match you with Vil Schoenheit.

At first he is impressed by your calm collected aura, but he sticks around because there's something alluring about your crackhead, randomly flirty, but also private, nature. He's always on his toes with you, and it's new and exciting. Also, we all know that everyone loves libras! It's that winning personality. ;)

Draw him something? He'll be so flattered, and so happy. He'll give you a soft kiss on your cheek, tell you how beautiful you are, then post it on his magicam with an elegant caption about true love, and pure beauty, and the magnificence of art. Rook sobs about it every time, because he can't cope with the "sheer weight of Rois du Poison's love."

When Vil thinks back onto the moment he realized he was in love, it was a moment when you were blunt with Ace about being a dumbass. He can't remember which time it was, exactly, but he can clearly recall you standing before him, a serious expression on your face, as you told him if he didn't get his act together, he'd end up failing out of NRC. As a fellow blunt person, Vil was in awe. Don't be afraid to be blunt with him. He can take it. And he wants to hear what your opinions of him are.

Vil can learn a lot from your go with the flow/slacker side. At first he's not too sure about it, but his stress levels start to significantly decrease when he follows your way of living. And Rook comments that his forehead looks less lined in recent photographs. Huh. Who'd have thought?

The absurd theories…who knew Vil Schoenheit would be so intrigued by a conspiracy? His head spins whenever you just go off on a rant, but it's so hot how into your theories you are…(it's the Aries in him. He loves when you're passionate)

"These games are a waste of time," Vil grouched.

"And yet, you've been watching me play for three hours, perfectly entertained," you hummed.

He didn't say anything, but with how long you'd known Vil, you knew his lower lip was probably protruding prettily, and his arms were probably crossed, in a beautiful version of a pout.

"Is it possible that, just maybe, you less are upset about the video game, and more that I haven't been paying attention to you?"

Vil scoffed a little too loudly, affirming your question more clearly than a yes ever could.

"Vil," you hummed, before patting your lap.

He humphed, and rolled his eyes, before laying down and resting his head in your lap.

You gently pet his hair with one hand, while continuing to try and game with the other. It wasn't long before Vil was breathing slightly heavier, and it was clear that he had fallen asleep.

"Aw, my sleepy queen," you whispered, removing your hand from Vil's hair.

At least, that's what you tried to do. A half asleep Vil whined, and pushed your hand back into his hair, before settling back into sleep.

"My needy, sleepy, queen," you muttered with a roll of your eyes, resuming petting his hair.

#1.5k followers #matchups #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #vil schoenheit

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