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#and when I got back 2 of them had gone
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I'm very irritable today. It might be the pain or the stress or my impending period. Whatever it is I am struggling. The social skills I've built up feel fine and I'm afraid to speak for fear of what words (and what voice) will come out.
I hate when we get like this.
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wavernot4love · 8 months
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fob @ fanfest recap, post-my living vicariously through people's live updates since i cannot get over my last minute resentful decision of not being able to pull off the (admittedly 650+ total mile) drive 2 philly today and perhaps feeling devastated over having missed
- patrick: "so! i'm patrick and i know nothing about sports" and also just MASSIVELY feeling the show based on all the videos i've seen!?
- pete making a warped comparison (!?! could it get more wavernot4love coded than this)
- joe chant that he successfully heard :]
- i don't care debut of late (finally!!)
- pete being self aware about the tennis new york incident (calling fobbies "monsters" in a vaguely affectionate way... HELP)
- honestly such an expansive setlist for an event like this?? FIFTEEN SONGS!? sixteen candles? fake out? grand theft autumn? headfirst slide? HELLO
- pete doing his saturday thing??? i honestly didn't think that was a thing they did @ these sports event kinda things w shorter sets
- you could really tell they Knew they had hardcore fans there
and man i wish i could have made it but here's to hoping leg 2 comes next year because i will 100% be traveling for multiple shows again <333
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hella1975 · 9 months
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just full force threw a shoe at my sister's face and when my mum got me alone after she was like 'you shouldn't clobber her. but i get it' 😭
#it kicked off today but in my defence she's actually proper in the wrong this time even my DAD called her a bitch and my mum is FUMING#baso my sister came into my work with her mate when i was closing the other day and all the staff GLARED at them bc of aforementioned#close so i was being v chill so everyone 1) knew it was my sister and not some customer coming in late and 2) her friend wouldnt be uncomfy#like that's the real kicker her i was being extra laid back FOR her friend so he'd feel more at ease. and one thing about me is yes ive#said countless times i have a rural accent but my mum also raised me to know when and how to speak nice if need be bc people are cunts here#so when im waitressing i speak nicely bc it's a stuck up restaurant w stuck up customers but when im with my sister? making a point of#being laid back? my normal accent came through. and her mate when i was gone said i sounded 'really [from the county we live in]'#which WOULD NOT BE A COMPLIMENT. it's baso saying 'your sister sounds local and chavy' without using such explosive words#and my sister LET HIM SAY IT. SHE DIDNT DEFEND ME. and she told my mum about it later bc SHE THOUGHT SHE'D TELL ME OFF#LIKE SHE DID IT TO SNITCH. THERE WAS NO SCENARIO WHERE MY SISTER WASNT BEING A CUNT. and my mum hit the ROOF#one thing she's rlly been big on is loyalty bc it's always been the 3 of us so when she found out my sister let him say that she FLIPPED#and this all happened last night and i only found out this morning bc i overheard them screaming at each other and turns out my mum#tried to keep it from me bc she didnt want my feelings hurt and IM pissed bc it actually did hurt more than i thought it would#like i KNOW what people say about my accent but it's a guy i know? my sister's been friends w him for years? i was being nice?#it's EMBARRASSING like i was clueless & friendly and turned around for him to be like 'look at this stupid local girl' like??#and my sister did NOTHING? it just sucks so i STORMED upstairs when i found out and had it out with my sister#and she knew she was fucked so she did all 'im not talking to you i have nothing to say' AND PUT HER EARPHONES IN?#the way i RIPPED them out. got in her face like okay girl u think i sound like a chav ill act like a chav lets GO#and it just got really aggressive and i wound up grabbing HER OWN SANDAL and full force hurling it at her face 😭 oops#from close range too like i was already in her face so i basically just smacked her with a sandal DSHGJKSH#now we're sat in silence bc alas we still share a room. WHAT the fuck. insane tbh but it's a bit funny. im so angry rn i could KILL#hella goes home
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13eyond13 · 4 months
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HOLD ON YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT NANA 1... WHAT DO YOU MEAN
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bangcakes · 5 months
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#personal#i guess for those following this uh... Situation NDNDNDMMDMX#today was the last day LOL. he was gonna sit beside me during the exam#... but the teacher moved him NDNJDMDMDMDMDMDMDMMD#then.... he finished before me.... i was like oh fuck. but i was like oh what if hes waiting for me....#but i was also like GET IT TOGETHER GURL. UR AT AN EXAM#so i GOT IT TOGETHER (mostly)#and when i finished he was gone 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#HOWEVER.... me n one of my other friends had to work on a group project so we stayed back then went out n ate#she knows i like him. n at some point i was like man... if only he had waited. he could have come with us#n she was like...... !!!!!! he did wait !!!!!!!!!#and i was like WHAAAAAAAAAAAA#so it turns OUT..... that this other guy i was friends with (no longer bc 1. he was using me for my hw and 2. he was mean to the guy i like#DEMANDED to know why the guy i had a crush on didnt answer in the big group chat about dinner n he was like..... uh i have an exam the#day after ??? (and ok insider info here.... he told me he never wanted to see any of them ever again LMAO. so i wasnt surprised at all.#thought it was so fucjin funny bc man he really kept to his word by not answering JDJDJDJJDJDJDl)#but ya he left after that !!!!!!!! so !!!!!! wa !!!!!!!! im just 🥺🥺🥺 !!!!! like he WAS waiting for me but GOD that asshole im just......#>:[[[[[[[[#bc u know !!!! thats not the first time he's (for lack of a better word) cockblocked us !!!!!!!!#but it somewho ends up bringing us closer in a way. idk NDJXJXJJZJZJZJZJZ#im just.... ya i messaged him n we talked for a bit.... he still has an exam left so im gonna leave him alone til hes done#really hope he lets me know how it goes AH#but ya............ idk man idk. im gonna have to grow some huge balls n ask him to meet up. bc if i dont....... lol my only other chance is#graduation in february.............#n e way NDNNDNDNDNDNNDND
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hem1ock · 1 year
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inconsolably emotional over this comment on a stuffed animal cleaning video
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trashbaget · 2 years
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#wrote a fucking poem#because a bitch is fucking feeling things#cue venting in the tags because this is where i'm feeling comfortable to do it right now#a while back i caught the love bug for a friend and tbFCKNh it was the very second time i'd ever actually fallen In Love with someone and..#the first time it didn't end well. long story short: i asked him out and he turned me down but we stayed friends and it actually made us..#grow closer regardless. a little while later i'd realized my feelings were Different and it just came out one night when we were having a..#really deep conversation. and i'm glad i told him because it helped me get over him and we got better and things weren't weird at all. we..#stayed really good fucking friends. now i didn't get to see him for a summer and i definitely don't have feelings for him anymore and i'm..#sincerely happy for him and his now partner. i consider him (and always have) my best friend. (among others but he's definitely Up There..#like no. 2 probably) but way too soon after Talking was summer and we were both farthest from everybody and are both the kind of ppl who..#pretty much don't text anyone except like 2 ppl and we are not one of each's 2. today i got to see him and a bunch of our friends for the..#first time since fucking april and god have i missed them all. but seeing him again kinda fucked me up a second. threw me for a massive loop#i got Weird (neg) and i was NERVOUS as HELL at the start and for a few minutes i couldn't figure out what it even WAS because i hadn't felt.#that way in a long time. and i am not about to catch those feelings for him again because No. i chilled out after like 3 minutes bc i got..#reacclimated to being around ppl My Damn Age again and things weren't Weird (neg) anymore. we talked we joked we sincerely said our I Miss..#Yous and we hung out. with everyone and alone for a bit because ppl had gone out and come back and it was FINE it was NORMAL () and we..#were GOOD. we ARE good. and i don't love him in that way anymore. i love him as a friend. and that love is definitely more intense than with#other friends because we have a deeper bond and yes because i Loved him. but the fact is i don't and it's ANNOYING to react like i still do.#and getting nervous like i still do. and i kept worrying that something i'd do might make it seem like i do and i don't and just UGH having.#feelings is annoying. i've never been able to stay friends with someone after having feelings for them at all let alone INTENSE IN LOVE FEEL#INGS!! like wtf!!! and this is sincerely one of the best friendships i've ever had and i don't want to and Won't. lose him especially for..#this but god DAMN am i not having it right now. and my head's been spinning like a fucking tornado in the 5min ride home and i accidentally.#wrote it out in a poem because the words wouldn't go anywhere when i just tried to brain dump about it because Of Course They Did. because i#can't think about this man in anyway except poetically and i can't write a poem unless it's about love in some degree and just UGH love is#and i'm gonna leave it there because i'm running risk of repeatin myself.#if you read all this i positively adore you and also you need to touch some grass bc reading the vents of internet dwellers is for suckers#i am just kidding i really do sincerely appreciate you and love you very very much thank you for caring#please ignore the following organizational tags:#writing#poetry
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eggmeralda · 3 months
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I may have lost all hope
#it's a weird feeling?#like since late 2022 it's been kind of like. bad vibes consistently#and i tried to stay somewhat positive throughout it#but idk there's this very distinct feeling now of like. i can't describe it but it's completely gone#like I've actually got nothing to live for#nothing I've done or wanted to do since i was 14 has ever really like amounted to anything#all the friends i made i never feel like i can talk to#once again in that state of 'only alive so my family don't get sad'#like even when i wanted to just stop existing when i was 21 there was this tiny bit of hope still there a little bit#like i remember for that whole summer i kept getting quick thoughts about suicide but I'd always push them out of my mind instantly#but there was one day where i let the thought stay in my mind for a little bit and like properly considered how i would do it#and then after a bit i was like FUCK and then went and walked like an hour away from my house to try and forget it#and then after that day i slowly got better. and it was annoying bc it meant now i had to walk a whole hour back to my house#but even if those 2 months there was still this feeling of this isn't gonna last#bc i knew i was back at uni in a few months and at least i had music to listen to#and all the other times I've been in that state there was still this sort of feeling that it'll get better bc I've got things to get me#through it#but it doesn't feel like that now. like no job no friends no hyperfixation and now i can't even enjoy any music#anything i create is pointless bc only i care about it#all my friends are busy doing other stuff I'm like not even second best I'm the most forgettable person anyone might know#the only thing that would fix me is getting a random train to like some place I've never been#just to see a new thing i guess#but anyway#ramble#suicide mention
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quietwingsinthesky · 8 months
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🌹:O
:3c
Lucifer doesn't care how the labcoats say it works; he knows there's no such thing as a clean break from a drift the minute the plug is pulled. Instead, Michael goes from a second consciousness beside his own to being dragged out of Lucifer the further Lucifer gets from him, both of them gripping tight to the connection until it slips, until it snaps, with a violent recoil that knocks Lucifer's brain out of alignment and reminds his legs that they don't work. His next step falls too fast, too heavily, and refuses to take his weight. It's only Michael, now only a voice outside of Lucifer's head yelling his name, catching him from behind that allows Lucifer to collapse to the floor with his dignity intact.
#is this more than one sentence? yes. yes it is. because tumblr deleted this post once and pissed me off.#i had so many tags about lucifer already and boom. gone.#anyway. tfw you see your boyfriend get severely injured during a battle and this makes you panic so bad you manage to make it a few meters#which is a lot for a guy who can't actually walk.#lucifer's got a whole Situation. turns out plugging a guy's brain up to a giant robot is not without its bugs.#especially when said guy was one of the first to be stuck inside the giant robot with his brother. and testing was a lower priority due to#everyone wanting a faster solution to the Giant Fucking Monsters. so lucifer's brain got overloaded and can't send signals to his legs#anymore to move right unless he's hooked up to a mech. technically when this first happened the doctor told him 'well if you stop doing mec#shit you can walk again.' but 1) he's not doing that. and 2) that was years ago. just because that recommendation is still on a file#somewhere doesn't mean it would actually work for him. or even that it would have back then. it's still the official answer for 'fixing' hi#because that's better optics than the truth. which is that he can't walk.*#(technically. technically. if he was left disconnected from the mech for a week he could walk. it would also be exhausting. and painful.#and slow. this is not something lucifer considers to be helpful information when he moves faster and with more ease in his chair.#this is something other people like to point out about him that makes him want to start hitting them. and it's not even really true anymore#the 'a week disconnected' thing. again. was a long time ago. it would take over a month for him to stand nowadays.)#(v few people Get all of this but like. michael is one of them. he's in lucifer's head enough that it would be weirder for him not to get i#add to that him being one of the few people who has seen lucifer walk nowadays and focused more on 'hey he looks like he hates that'#than praising it. and he gets it. and is also the requisite amount of annoyed when lucifer *runs off* before michael can help him into his#chair!! not the first time this has happened and will not be the last. michael's used to catching him.)#ask#oh my god that was so much rambling. this isnt even the point of the fic btw. this is just. backstory. worldbuilding.
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robotwrangler · 2 years
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Thinking about how the lovely person on deviantart who emailed me a copy of Undertale in exchange for a sketch of their oc when I was 15 will never know about the profound effect they had on my life..
#it’s a long story but tldr if not for Undertale I would’ve never heard of Yes Man and without Yes Man I literally wouldn’t be alive rn#I’m sure ive told this story on here before but I like it bc it is important to me#the Undertale to Yes Man pipeline is a very specific thing that happened to me involving 2 different joke blogs on here#there was ‘youcantfuckaskeleton’ (blog abt how nobody should want sans Undertale carnally)#and then I found their other blog ‘youcanfuckarobot’ (blog about. well. I’m sure you get the picture) and I went there for Mettaton posts#but they had some posts there with Yes Man and I was like. that is the most nice looking robot I’ve seen in my life. who is this#and then I forgot abt it for like 3 years and forgot to look him up. UNTIL#DELTARUNE CHAPTER 1.. in 2018.. drove me to revisit those joke blogs for nostalgia#and I saw the yes man pics again and this time I got WAY more curious. I was so so intrigued by him he looked so interesting and cute#so I looked him up and looked at lots of art of him and read his wiki page and I was like. I NEED to meet him#so my big brother got me new vegas as a present on new years and on january 3 2019 I met yes man!#and. I have never understood why or how. but when I woke up the next day my depression was fucking gone#I had severe untreated depression and it just dissolved overnight#nothing else notable happened around that time except for meeting yes man and becoming smitten with him so it seems that’s what did it??#also those joke blogs are still around I think. i like to revisit them occasionally for the nostalgia of seeing yes man for the first time#but yea anyway what I’m saying is this nice person on deviantart indirectly saved my life#my depression also never came back btw. obviously I feel sad sometimes like anyone but I have not been depressed since then#would’ve been nice if my anxiety went away too but I can at least live with that tbh!!#um anyway I’m sleepy so ending these tags. if you read all of this I love you thank you for caring
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cannot-copia · 1 year
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this year so far
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#tw death#once again saying things into the void on here bc i dont know where else to say it#went on a trip for a couple days for my moms birthday a couple weeks ago now#they called to tell us my dads dialysis had pretty much stopped working shortly after we were got there#insurance gave us 4 days notice to find somewhere for him to go (2 of which we were 1200 miles from home)#also was told by the place I work at i am not needed until further notice the same day#so I have no source of income until they get the necessary machine fixed and even then I am skeptical they will say to come back#since dialysis stopped working he had to be moved to hospice#which was a week ago now#so he has very little time left#my half brother and his wife came to visit him a couple days ago#now his brother is here from another state#and we took them to eat at the place they’ve always gone when they are here for as long as I can remember#on the way there we were told my grandmother was taken to the hospital in an ambulance#they don’t know what is wrong with her yet but she is 94 so her being not ok either is very plausible#we are only like 3 weeks into the year and I’ve already been soft laid off my grandmother could be dying and my dad is dying#I feel like I have been seconds away from having a complete panic attack for a week#packing up and cleaning out the assisted living (he only ended up being at 3 months) felt so wrong#it was his coffee mug and green cup of all things that got to me most#he always had them#and knowing he would never use them again#I bought his dog a new name tag today#so it has a tag when we give it to them to put in the casket with him#and i almost cried in a fucking petsmart#and now I’m here over sharing on the internet about it bc if I do not keep myself distracted I will just get more nauseous and cry more#delete later
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thevalleyoftriumph · 1 year
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every day i get closer to 900 followerz.
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deus-ex-mona · 2 years
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the stare of judgemental confusion is real—
#inedible blubbering#very long and *very* incoherent ramblings in the tags coming right up—#maaaaaan today sure was a weird as heck day…#i started the day off at around 7.30am when i woke up laughing at a *very* ridiculous dream i had.#in it there was some guy who was eating huge cucumbers whole while another guy shoved a huge pencil into a gigantic electric sharpener#their actions were completely in sync. like dude 1’s cucumber chomping synced up with dude 2’s gigantic pencil sharpening#then they turned to look at each other and their eyes bugged out of their heads and that’s when i woke up、laughing in disbelief.#and after that… well. i finally got a call back from the job that seemed to have ghosted me 2 weeks ago…#…and i got not 1 but 2 emails from the person i ✨destest✨ the most in the world. i just ignored them though lol#the rest of the day kinda passed in a blur though… how insignificant.#then a few minutes ago my brother just randomly said ‘happy birthday’ aloud and i was like ‘👁👄👁 is he talking to me?!!!!’#but when i peeked around the corner a la the mona above… he was looking at his phone. and so it will forever remain a mystery ig…#it’d be nice if it was actually meant for me though… it’s been like 10 years since he last said it i think…#oh goodness. 10 years… where has time gone??? (ʘ‿ʘ)#aaaa man… if he really was talking to me… it’d be the first time in over 10 years when all the dudes of my immediate family wished me… ಥ‿ಥ#though the one thing that’s really been hitting me hard about my age and stuff is the fact that my younger brother is no longer a minor…#…and the fact that he looks physically older than me ಠ‿ಠ not cool bro ಠ‿ಠ#oh!!! and!!!! don’t go mistaking me for a brocon ok!!! ಠ‿ಠ i’m not one!!!! seriously!!!!! really!!!!!!!#hm. if anyone happens to be reading this… heyy👀 go drink some water ok👀👀 it’s good for you!!! yay for hydration!!!
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dragonanon · 1 year
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Good morning everyone! Here’s a pro tip: if you’re going to bring bear mace into a small enclosed space, ESPECIALLY a small public bus, PLEASE make absolute sure that it’s completely secured and won’t spray if you somehow manage to drop it. 🙃
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doodlingwren · 15 days
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Aughhghghh still busy <3 sorry for the late replies to comments and such lol bye <33333
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skrunksthatwunk · 16 days
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playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there
#how do i tell her she needs to break up with him immediately. posthaste.fuck it funny post over rant incoming tw emotional abuse i think#nyarla dni#(<- roomie and nyarla have met and i don't wanna air roomie's drama to ppl who know her w/o her consent. anon internet ppl only)#listen i'm normally for gentle advising and that's probably what i'll do since i don't want to stress her out but oh my fucking god what is#his problem. he's constantly putting her in these weird no-win situations where the only right answer is to never be upset or disagree or b#wrong on accident or be misunderstood by him and to tell him everything she's feeling so she's not 'playing mind games' but if she says wha#she's feeling he'll interrogate her and badger her with the same questions over and over again insisting she's unreasonable until she gives#in and says she's sorry with an attitude he likes. i fucking don't like him. and a lot of this is observations from today. the day after sh#GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT AND BROKE HER NECK. WHAT THE FUCK.#it's like he expects to be treated like a king on one of the worst days of her life and when she's upset he's like OH. OH I GET IT.#and lectures her on having attitude and taking things out on others when she's literally not even doing that. not to an extent that matters#anyway. like. there's more productive ways of dealing with that. where you don't treat them like a bad kid for getting overwhelmed#he has made her cry multiple times today. i have been around multiple arguments and fights and he's just genuinely. awful i hate him#hell the first argument i overheard *i* was in tears by the end (luckily they left soon after bc i had to run to the basement laundry#dungeon to bawl my eyes out because 1. i can't handle confrontation 2. i've never seen roomie cry and 3. she just seemed so hurt and tired)#anyway he just left again after a fight because. god this is so dumb. she told him to move while they were sleeping in the same twin bed#(remember she's in a neck brace) and he fucking. left the room for an HOUR bc he thought the only thing that could POSSIBLY mean (as he#insisted) was for him to get out of here and then when she was like oh hey i'm sorry i didn't mean it like that he decided to spend the nex#half hour of his short time on this earth chewing her out for not giving him a lengthy explanation while half-asleep as to like. why he#needed to move (she wanted to grab smth) and apparently he sat in the chair by her bed for like 10 mins before leaving so he probably saw#her fall back asleep. and then he got pissy when after he left she didn't pick up her phone when he was calling her? even though he knew sh#was asleep?? she didn't even know he was gone. fucking. i need to get him away from my roomie YESTERDAY#look. miscommunication happens. i'm not saying he's an asshole for wanting things said clearly. i am pro-saying what you mean.#but if every time your gf tells you what she means you make it into a 30 minute lecture (no matter how small the slight and w/o examining i#you're actually right or not) she's not gonna wanna fucking tell you if she doesn't think it's worth the argument. especially if you never#let her rest until she concedes. apology isn't enough. clarification isn't enough. she has to say how wrong she was and beg and GOD. UGHHH#and he's always on about how she hurts his feelings. a gust of wind could hurt his feelings. he's constantly berating her manipulating her#and then he's like >:( see that hurt my feelings you can't hurt ppl's feelings. you're disrespectful. HE"S THE WORST I FUCKING HATE HIM#look sometimes adversity reveals the truth of a person and this just amplified his shittiness so much. mr OH i slept in a HOSPITAL and it#was so bad... you can't be in a bad mood bc i've been doing the bare minimum and you need to prioritize MY feelings rn. also i won't leave
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