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blood-mocha-latte · 7 months

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damp - hilldane drabble

for an anonymous ask || request an edit/drabble || i… don’t know what this is. i call it ‘rie accidentally projects a lot onto two characters simultaneously and accidentally makes herself cry’ and also 'rie needs to stop obsessing about keaton st james poems before they Consume her'

9 LINES ABOUT EITHER ROMANCE OR DEATH

The damp, damp dark seemed to find Andy always wanting, always in a limbo between humanity and something else. Something more, something less. A change, but never one big or small enough to be important.

Eddie sat by him, carving a stick with his knife, warm at Andy’s shoulder.

“Ya ever think love stories will be told about people like us?” He asked. Andy shrugged. He knew the answer that Eddie believed. The same one most men like them believed. A story that ain’t ever worth telling. That wasn’t the answer Andy wanted to give.

“Maybe one day.” He said, watching the way the wind shifted through the palm fronds, the men laughing and talking and playing around in the sand and around the camp. “If it’s a good story.”

Eddie snorted. His knife slipped, and he nicked the pad of his thumb. As he held it up to his lips to suck on the cut, he said, “or a tragic one.”

1. It guides our every action.

Andy walked in front of a tank, and didn’t have to turn around to know that Eddie would follow him. Like a soft string that was tethered to his heart with steel, he never had to think too hard about where Eddie would ever be.

He watched as Eddie bent over, pistol loose in his grip, and talked lowly to the army tanker. Andy didn’t need to see him to know how his eyes flashed on certain words, how his lips twisted around others.

Talkin’ and killin’. Sometimes Andy thought it might be the same deadly dance.

The army tanker bowed his head, and Eddie turned on his heel and back to their boys, gripping them by their arms, pulling them to their feet. Dusting them off, helping guide them Away.

Andy wondered if the seraphim of his mothers bible could even hold a candle to Eddie Jones.

He stood in front of the tank until Eddie was done. He watched the treads of the tank, its gun, the crew that he couldn’t see but stared down anyways.

He’d probably let the damn thing crush him, if it would buy Eddie more time, help more of their boys.

2. Do you remember when we rode the train home from the ocean with salt dried in our hair, and yet, somehow, your mouth still tasted so sweet as i kissed you goodnight on your porch? while the dark-winged sedges sang?

“C’mon, just one.”

“No,” Andy laughed, crossing his legs under him to sit in the shallow foxhole with Eddie, who's smile was wide and eyes even brighter. “You're drunk.”

Eddie laughed, and it was warm and free. “Turns out, the more Saki you drink, it does not taste better.” Andy smiled, leaning against loose dirt and feeling the warmth of the setting sun across his face.

“You know, I never would've guessed.” He said dryly. Eddie laughed again. He held the near-empty bottle by its glass neck, and extended it to Andy, shaking it slightly.

“Probably should drink some all the same, though.” He said, and Andy couldn't tell if his pupils swallowed his irises because of the drink or something else. “Just to make sure.”

“Nah.” Andy said lightly, in reference to the Saki. “I've got all the proof I need.”

Eddie smiled and, after looking over his shoulder as if a conspiracy, cheeks flushed red and eyes ink dark, he whispered, loudly, “just one kiss, huh, Skip? ‘M probably drunk enough that it's run off on you.”

Andy watched him seriously, if only for a moment, if only to see the way Eddie leaned against the shallow foxhole again and smiled at him with bitten-red lips and dark, happy eyes.

“Well, you could be stone-cold sober and I could still get drunk off you.” Is what he ended up saying, and Eddie's laugh was warm and bright and it made Andy want to reach for him.

“Hopefully I taste less shitty.” Is what Eddie said back, and drank the rest of the Saki in one go.

3. i dream about you all the time.

Eddie loved, loved, loved Australia, with such a fervor that Andy almost forgot about taking him back home entirely to focus instead on buying them a house Down Under.

They sat in a darker corner of the bar, other marines shouting and singing and drinking and dancing with laughing women.

Eddie sat with light eyes and a whiskey in front of him, running his index finger along the rim of its glass.

“I wonder what it's like in the middle of Australia.” Eddie said thoughtfully, his hand stilling. “I know it's wild, but I'd like to know how.”

Under the table, their knees knocked together, and Andy risked hooking his foot around Eddie's calf, downing the rest of his own drink. “I’d guess somewhat like how the west was, before Lewis and Clark got there.” He said, the whiskey burning down his throat and settling in his chest, curling around his heart.

Eddie hummed, finished off his own drink. “I heard from a woman at a corner shop that they tried to send their own Lewis and Clark out there.” He said. “But nature doesn't want them out there. It's just… meant to be wild. Meant to be sand and dark and stars.”

Andy thought about that, for a moment. About a place that can’t be tamed by man, not really. Not like back home, in Lawrence, or even like their camps along every island the Marine Corps sends them to. Just really, truly wild. Home to no one but itself and those who were there first.

“It sounds nice.” He said.

“Yeah.” Eddie said back.

He downed the rest of his whiskey in one go, picked up his and Andy’s empty glasses and tilted them towards the door. Andy huffed, pushing his chair out and standing up.

“Thought I was the one that made orders.” He said dryly. Eddie smiles, small and barely there, the corner of his mouth ticking up and his eyes brilliantly, brilliantly bright.

“Yeah.” He said, slowly. Like a joke. “Don’t get too used to that, Skip.”

4. i’m so constantly hungry sometimes i feel as if i’m nothing but ache

They traded the cigarette back and forth, and it was gone entirely too quickly.

Andy turned to watch Eddie, just out of the corner of his eye, just like he always did, and watched him stub the smoke out against a rock.

“You did what you had to do.” Andy said softly.

The sun, still sleeping along the horizon, wasn't showing herself. In her absence, shadows stretched across Eddie's face, making him seem older. Haggard.

“I know.” He said. His voice was quiet, his voice slightly off. He swayed slightly, where he rested on his knees, and scrubbed a hand down his face.

Andy turned to face him fully. Eddie was close enough that he could reach the hand not covering his eyes easily, tangling their fingers together and linking their pinkies.

“When this is over,” He said, “I'm going to take you to the park just outside my neighborhood, and we can watch the sunset there instead, and not worry about this. About any of this.”

From the way Eddie looked at him, Andy knows he didn't believe him. He still tightened his grip in Andy’s hand.

“Yeah.” He said. His voice was rough, like he'd been crying. He'd given his entrenching tool to Andy – it still had blood and brain matter across the flat edge of it – and wouldn't take it back. They both knew the boys were worried now, about having nightmares. They were having their buddies wake them up every fifteen minutes, so they couldn't fall too deep into it.

Eddie didn't say anything else, but Andy nodded anyway.

“One day,” He said, “I'm going to take you home. And you don't have to believe it, because I do.”

He went back to watching the sunrise, and smiled when he felt Eddie's chapped lips press to his knuckles.

5. every sentence i try to write starts with you and ends with my heart wanting to burst open, less like gates during a flood and more like a peach growing on the vine. so ripe, so ready for the fall.

“I read the book about Huck Finn, once.” Eddie said, one day, while they led their platoon down a water-swollen, muddy crevice. He was quiet, after that, and Andy looked at him sideways, keeping his eyes on his feet and the treacherous path in front of them.

“Yeah?” Andy asked, after a moment, to prompt him. Eddie blinked, like he'd forgotten he'd spoken at all, but nodded after a moment.

“Yeah.” He confirmed. “When I was thirteen. It was hard as all hell to read, it took me almost a year to get through the damn thing. But I read it. Was real proud, too. Gettin’ through that big book like that.”

“Yeah.” Andy said, trying to remember anything about the book. He'd read it, what seemed like ages ago, but trying to remember its contents or words was like trying to recall the face of a long gone childhood friend. No memory, only feelings. “Did you like it?”

Eddie was quiet again.

When he finally spoke, his eyes stayed on the ground, boots sinking four or five inches into the mud with every squelching step. “I did.” He said, vague. “But my daddy—”

He stopped, face doing something complicated, one of his hands twitching on his rifle as if, by habit, to have fingertips ghost along a scar.

Andy half-turned, looking over his shoulder and counting the helmets behind him. He counted them one more time before turning back again. By the time he did so, Eddie’s expression had smoothed back out, eyes ahead.

“He wasn't as proud that I'd read that book as I was.” He said, quietly. “He didn't — I guess he didn't much like what… what Huck Finn was. Or maybe how Tom Sawyer was. I don't know.”

Andy was quiet. He didn't say sorry. He knew Eddie hated that.

“I'll have to read it again sometime.” Is what he said, after a long moment. “So we can talk about it.”

Eddie huffed a soft laugh, and Andy, as always, was angry so quickly it made his head hurt.

He imagined a thirteen-year-old Eddie Jones, reading The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn whenever and wherever he could, a finger tracking the words and his mouth moving silently around them, working steadily through the pages, sentence by sentence.

He imagined the kind of father who couldn't be so goddamn proud of his son for that, who wouldn't be able to see much past his own beliefs, like rotting teeth in a crying child's mouth. He felt, rather guiltily, a wave of gratefulness towards his own father at the thought.

The anger passed as quick as it came. It always did.

“I'd like that.” Eddie said, and Andy tried to remember what they were talking about, in the split second he'd gone somewhere else. “I'd like to talk about Huck Finn with you.”

Andy wished he could let go of his rifle for just a split second, if not to just knock his knuckles against Eddie's.

“I bet I could scrounge one up by next week.” He said instead, just to see Eddie's mouth curl into a smile, and it would have to be enough.

6. i bring up your name any time i eat black raspberry ice cream with someone who isn’t you.

“I'm a shitty writer.” Eddie began out of nowhere, and Andy looked up from where he was trying to clean clotting sand out of his rifle barrel. Eddie wasn't looking at him, his face turned towards the blood-red sun.

“You're not so bad.” Andy said. Eddie wasn't, was the thing, for all he pretended to be illiterate. It made boys with similar experiences, like Snafu Shelton, laugh; and boys like Eugene Sledge, with enough money to drown in, uncomfortable.

It just made Andy smile.

Then again, everything that Eddie did made Andy smile.

“I can't spell for shit.” Eddie said. “You're the only one that can read my handwriting.”

That, at least, was true. Andy shrugged.

“I like rewriting your reports.” He said. Eddie waved a hand, dismissive.

“Whatever.” He said. “The letters are always fucking moving around, that’s their fuckin’ problem.” Andy smiled. He looked back down to his rifle and continued to unclog it. “My point is that I can't write a letter to save my life.”

Andy shrugged again, but kept his eyes focused on the rifle stock. “I can write a letter for you, if you want.” He offered. Eddie snorted.

“Nah.” He said. “I'm just… well, I’m glad that we're together, here. You know? Because if we weren't, I'd want to write you a letter, and then you'd just be wondering who in the hell gave their blind chicken a pencil.”

Andy’s chest felt warm, like there was hot coffee spreading throughout his veins, and he huffed. “Your writing isn't that bad.” He said.

Eddie turned to look back at him, for the first time, and the bright horizon dyed the side of his face a brilliant orange. His lips were twisted into their same ever smile.

“No.” He said. “But I'm glad it doesn't need to get better. I'm glad I have you for that.”

And with that, he went back to watching the sunset and Andy went back to his rifle.

Eddie leaned against him, when it was too dark to do anything but be quiet and sleep. Andy took his hands and pressed his lips to his fingers and thanked God that he was able to translate what they were able to show.

There were no artillery barrages, no death, that night. It felt like God had heard him.

8. do you remember when we went running through the wet city streets late at night, how we glowed rose-pink in the shop-lights. how we held hands and laughed and thought we’d never feel this happy again?

“D’you think he'll be alright?” Andy whispered into the dark, Eddie's curls brushing warmly against his jaw.

Eddie shifted against him, head resting on Andy’s shoulder, and said, “I don't know.”

Andy stared straight ahead. Both of Eddie's hands were tangled with one of his, and he brought his other hand around to run his index finger along the ridges of the others knuckles. “I've never seen it that bad, before.” He murmured.

Eddie sighed. It was weary, and heavy, and Andy closed his eyes to the melody of it and thought of their park, the one that Eddie's never even been to. It only helps somewhat.

“What matters,” Eddie said, slowly, like he was waiting for Andy to really understand what he was saying before he continued, “is that you got him off the line. Better for him, better for the other boys.”

Andy lifted their tangled mess of hands from his lap, resting his forehead against them. Eddie shifted against his shoulder to press a kiss to his jawline.

“Maybe countin’ blankets is like counting sheep.” He said, and Andy leaned further into him. Eddie bore the weight without any effort, but Andy still worried about it being too much. He always worried about it being too much.

That's what causes combat exhaustion. That's what causes men to break apart and start counting things they couldn't see.

“Eddie.” He said, just to say it, against the back of Eddie's hands, to his calloused fingers and warm skin. Eddie's hands tightened around his.

“I know.” Eddie murmured back. “But it's… it's okay. We're… we're right here, you know? Right here together. Here and in the park and wherever else. It’s okay.”

Andy didn't say anything. He just turned his head and buried his face in Eddie's hair, rough with ocean spray and curled with humidity.

9. it consumes us.

As Andy turned around, he almost knew what he was doing. The rational part of him knew that no one would be there, just at his shoulder. Not ever again.

Least, no one he could ever know and love the same.

But the rational part of him died two days ago.

So Andy turned around anyway, maybe wanting to say something over his shoulder to someone that wasn’t there, and between one split second and another that never came, he could almost see Eddie over his shoulder, eyes intent and bright. Could almost feel his hand in his.

#rie writes #hi and welcome to rie doesn’t know a lot about the pacific so she makes shit up to be sad some more #i hope this is ok anon because i sort of took your ask and fucking BOOKED it #anyways i did No research before writing this so everything is either shit i a) made up or b) was in the miniseries #or c) i read it in a fic somewhere i don’t remember #the pacific #hilldane #andyeddie #andrew ack ack haldane #eddie hillbilly jones #hillbilly jones #hbo war

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ofmermaidstories · 1 year

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Let me preface this by saying I did check your FAQ but I didn't see this there yet I still find it hard to believe no one has asked you this at least a thousand times so if they did and I just missed it I'm sorry and you can delete this ask but—

You write such beautiful, detailed fics with lots of foreshadowing that often starts from the very beginning of the story. I think you made an author note once about only posting the first chapter of a fic after you've written the whole thing (or maybe that was Andie...?). If so, is the time between updates just you going through and rereading / editing like 100k words?

Basically, I want to ask: what is your fic planning process like? From the moment you get a first idea to posting the last chapter, what does I look like? I think you're a really, really amazing (one of the absolute best if not THE best) author but I cannot fathom how one human being can write such mammoths of fanfiction and stay motivated enough to finish them.

Also you're already planning Halloween stuff ?? You plan things literally half a year in advance?? Are you even human? We don't deserve you. 😭

You called yourself lazy in the webcomic post but I think you must work unbelievably hard to make such high quality stuff and without even getting compensation for it. You're amazing and I'm very thankful to exist in the right timeline and fandom to read your work. :,)

(oh my god this became such a ramble I'm sorry)

Oh Ari. 🥺 Hello.

I update as I write! So that was probably Andie, lmao, who’s definitely the better example to follow when it comes to plotting/completing a fic. 🥺 She’s amazing and if I could fashion myself after any other writer in our niche, it would be Andie hands down!

But okay, let’s get into it. 📝

A little disclaimer, before we start; I did not go to school for any of this lmfao. The most relevant education I have behind me is a extra-circular literature class I had during my last two years of high-school. The only reason the following works for me is because I’ve cobbled it together from years of trial and error. You can read advice and watch youtube videos about the writing habits of famous authors, but you have to tailor everything you hear to suit you and the way you work. The best advice in the world from the highest paid author in the world won’t work if you’re not wired in the same way! You have to take everything about yourself and what you like and what you want into account!

Part I—first we take Manhattan

start ur fic lol

First thing’s first; I’m a plotter. I don’t pants. If I pants, I lose interest—I need to have the final vision in front of me, even if it’s just a bullet point. I have to know what I’m working towards. That is crucial to literally everything I do. Every fic you see on AO3, every WIP I’ve mentioned working on or wanting to work on—I have always known two things about them, immediately: the hook that gets us in there, and how they end.

So for fics in particular, the start might look something like—I get an idea (I want Reader and Bakugou to kiss). And then I sit there and I brainstorm to myself (What’s stopping them from kissing? Why does Reader want to kiss someone so rude when there’s so many other nice boys out there? Is Reader particularly kissable?). And then, if I’m lucky, I think of an ending (Reader and Bakugou finally kiss, but he’s the one that initiates it, because he’s always wanted to, because he likes that Reader always wears a yellow coat to work—it’s ugly and it sticks out among the black and tan ones of the crowd but he comes to associate it—and thus Reader—with routine and his mornings going well).

This is often the most fragile time of an idea. That hook (Reader and Bakugou kiss) might fall apart with a bit more prodding (why would they kiss? Reader’s a stranger to him; most of us don’t go around kissing random strangers just because we like their coats). Or maybe the hook sticks (they spend almost years in orbit around each other, a constant near-miss) but the ending doesn’t work (I don’t know how to move Bakugou to a position where he can kiss Reader, where he has the opportunity to). For every idea you see in action, or listed, there’s like three more that died during this stage and are now being cannibalised for spare parts.

Part II—running up that hill (a deal with fic)

work work work

If our idea survives, we then move to the “throw everything at the wall and see what sticks” stage; which manifests itself in this case as a doc, where I’ll just write any and all ideas I have for this little world so far.

For fanfics, it’ll generally look like—

TITLE

SUMMARY: Bakugou and Reader kiss.

(in which Bakugou first notices you because of your ugly yellow coat)

📝 Reader is allergic to diary products; for ages Bakugou thinks of her as That Cheesy Extra, because of the colour of her coat. She laughs when she eventually learns about this. (“I can’t even eat cheese,” you complain)

📝 Reader stops walking past the coffee shop Bakugou gets his coffee at, one day; moves??? Leaves the city to help a friend out for a few months. Despite himself it throws Bakugou off-kilter, and when he sees someone (not Reader) in a yellow coat during a villian attack, he momentarily loses focus—gets injured???? The news of his injury makes the news, Reader sees it in Bumblah nowhere.

📝 Her coat is donated accidentally by a roommate, in a mix up, for a charity she’s volunteering at; when Reader returns to the city, she has to make do with a new one, a more neutral colour. Bakugou recognises her anyway and that’s when he realises it was never about the coat (!!!!)

Like, this is actually a pretty good approximation of what all my current fics have looked like, at that stage, before I tidied them up and refined them into proper outlines. Because that’s what will happen next, once we have a rough idea of what we want! Things get moved, or removed—tightened. A rough plot outline takes shape! If I get any ideas for a sequel or a spin off that I might want to do, I’ll note them here (Reader’s roommate, Roomie, who’s working at a charity—eventually meets Shinsou, who’s working on a case. She thinks he’s homeless; he doesn’t realise. They carry on like this for a while.)

Once I have a rough outline (rough meaning in bulletpoints), I’ll start on my more in-depth outlines—I do these chapter by chapter! I say this a lot, but they’re basically a really rough version of said chapter. So it might look like:

Reader’s walking to work; it’s cold enough that’s she’s wearing her coat. There’s a new coffee-shop opened on the corner—it’s full, popular, you think it might be because it’s at a crossroads between two different Pro Hero agencies. Reader glances at the window, interested, but then a friend calls out and you hurry along. Bakugou, inside the coffee-shop waiting for Half and Half to get his order, is affronted; your coat is ugly as shit, and he complains loudly about it to Shouto, who mentions something about Baku. having no room to complain about ugly colour choices.

The swap between Reader/You happens a lot because I’m not using my brain properly, at this stage—I’m just shovelling the sand I need into the sandbox. Once I finish my shovelling, I go back and I rewrite it—but better, LMAO. I flesh things out, I throw things away as needed, I add things in. It’s basically really, really intensive handholding and I would not recommend it for anyone who’s already daunted by the idea of plotting; I do it because if I don’t have a chaperone there (aka my outline) then I’m prone to getting distracted. I am basically the fanfic equivalent of the undiagnosed ADHD kid at the back of the class that only gets work done when they’re sat right in front of the teacher (and even then, there’s like a 50% chance it’s not actually work that’s happening but doodles of that weird pointy S thing over and over again).

Once it’s done, though, we have a completed chapter! I then post it and wait like a little crab under some rocks for people to be tricked into being nice to me, and then I dig back in and think nice thoughts about repeating this process to get chapter two. Eventually I will—and viola! Another chapter! We repeat that over and over until we get to the end of our original outline and we have a finished story. 😌📖

Part III—you’re on your own kid

motivation

No one ever likes this part, or what I’m about to say, because at best it sounds like saccharine fodder and at worse it’s out of touch with most people’s experiences in fandom, but—the only way to stay motivated when doing a long-haul fic is that you have to do it for yourself.

People are so kind to me, about the fics I’ve done; it’s part luck and part what I choose to write and part how I write it. And I mean—I share them because I want a little bit of attention, lmao, that’s natural because we’re humans, we all want attention. But here’s the thing, here’s the secret—I take these fics 110% deadly seriously. LOL. That sounds like a joke, but I do! I do that because it’s how I’m built and how I keep myself interested in them—because taking them seriously means I’m more invested in realising the ending I’ve imagined for them since day one.

If other people stopped being so nice about what I was writing, I would be sad—anyone would. 🥺 We all want to be told that we’ve done a good job. But I’ve had the ending for the Deku fic, for example, in my head since it’s predecessor was on-going. That is literal years of knowing how I want Izuku and Scribble’s story to end. If everyone disappeared tonight I would sulk, hardcore, and then I would finish that last chapter anyway. I would finish it because I’ve spent so much time and energy working on that story that not finishing it is a disservice to the world I built around those characters and most importantly to myself. I probably wouldn’t stress as much about it, LOL, if the audience shrunk back down to just me, but I’d still do it. 🥺

I write—and try to finish—these fics because I deserve to see them finished. I want the completed tick, on ao3. I want to look at it and know that I can do it—that I can start something as simple as Bakugou hating on some rando’s yellow coat, and bring it to the finish-line where they finally come together, and see each other, without the yellow coat or through a coffee-shop window.

And this is what I mean by like, tailoring things to suit you—because I know others might be perfectly content to imagine the ending for themselves, without writing it. Or maybe they don’t want to treat fic seriously, because it’s fun escapism. Maybe disappointment that it’s not received like they thought it would be sours the whole experience of fandom for someone—there’s no right or wrong to this. I know I can write for an audience of just me because I’ve done it before. The satisfaction has always come back to the same thing—knowing I finished it, and wrapped that world up as best as I could. You have to pick and choose your poison—and then you have to run with it.

I hope that answers at least some of your questions, Ari. 🥺 Thank-you for such a thoughtful ask; for being so sweet. 🥺 You’re amazing, and I’m the thankful one—I’m glad we’re here, together. 🌷🌾✨📖

#ofmermaidstories-asks #ari do i have a tag for you? 🧐 hmMMMm #anyways i hope you have a good week and that this was at least a tiny bit helpful lmao #i should link it…. ugh i should overdo my whole masterpost tbh 😩 this is where the lazy comes in bc id rather stare at my wall tbh LMAO #first we take manhattan—then we take berlin 🎵#writing stuff

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jacaranda-bloom · 9 months

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Thank you to @allwaswell16 @disgruntledkittenface @uhoh-but-yeah-alright and @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed for tagging me to do the Fics by the numbers challenge, this was super fun!

Rules: give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.

I got a bit carried away, so I've put most of this under the cut.

Fic with the most hits: (55,698) In A Twinkling - No surprises here, I guess. My first foray into the world of Advent Fics was a whirlwind. Something about this story just (and I strongly believe the chapter-a-day release method was the driving forcer here) really drew people in. FUN FACT - Out of all of my fics, this is the only one I've never re-read. I feel like I lived and breathed this story so intensely as it was posting, and it was such a unique and special experience, that I almost want to keep it in a little time capsule forever.

Fic with the second most kudos: (1,737) When Tomorrow Comes This is probably the fic of mine that people come back to read more than any other, which is so lovely and quite surprising, as it's only 11k. I adore writing ABO. It's my fave trope, I think. I remember when I read my first ABO fic, Swim In The Smoke (and yes I know, I was late to the party here, and the world of fanfic in general), I was blown away. FUN FACT - This fic is not just 11k, it's actually exactly 11,111 words. I recall finishing the story and it landed on this word count, and I was like - whoa., okay then. But then I had to go back and make a few late edits before it posted, so I had to purposefully make sure it still came out at 11,111, because, you know. Why not?

Fic with the third most comments: (234) From Dust To Lust - This one is a bit of a surprise, but then I went back and looked at some of the comments and was reminded of the overwhelming love this fic received. This love was headed up by none other than @disgruntledkittenface, who practically inhaled this story and whose comments are so kind and enthusiastic that they give me life. Thank you, Maggie, I adore you. FUN FACT - I wrote this story for one scene and one scene only. It's in Chapter 3 and the rest of the story is just an enabler to allow me to indulge in that moment. For anyone who has read the fic, you'll know exactly which one I'm talking about, and for those who haven't, maybe this is enough of a tease to encourage you to go and check it out hahaha.

Fic with the fourth most bookmarks: (755) Player - Well, well, well. Hello there, old friend. This one is such a fun ride. Harry is a pro tennis player and Louis is his Publicist. It's an easy job for Louis 'cause, you know, Harry's amazing, until he Instagram's an x-ray to his 18 million followers that just happens to clearly show his dick. I'm a bit surprised that this has the fourth most bookmarks, but it's been appearing on a few rec lists lately (thanks @allwaswell16 !!) and is experiencing a bit of a resurgence in interest. FUN FACT - This fic was inspired by a true incident when UK tennis pro, Andy Murray, did exactly this back in 2019 after his hip surgery. No seriously. Google it. It's brilliant.

Fic with the fifth most words: (55,916) If You're Out There (I'll Find You Somehow) - Oh man. This fic. Okay, so, firstly, if I'm ever asked if there is a story of mine I've most proud of, or one that I hope people will read, it's probably this one. The challenge is, that it isn't everyone's cup of tea. It's a hybrid fic. Yup. I can already feel you scanning down this post to the next bullet point. But wait! Hear me out. Yes, Louis is a kitten hybrid (a kybrid), so he has a tail and cat ears, and he hasn't had the best life, nor have any hybrids for that matter. And it's a historical fic without any fixed time period, because the world is entirely invented, so readers have to allow themselves to be completely immersed in what I present them. But, while the world is hard and unfair at times, good triumphs in the end, and in a way that is truly uplifting. The Epilogue is possibly one of the best things I've ever written and I swear I cry happy tears every time I re-read it (which is a lot). FUN FACT - The story that nearly wasn't. At the time I wrote this story I'd sort of been inhabiting a nice little corner of the fanfic world. Each new story I put out there was easy enough to write and people were receiving them well and enjoying my imaginations. When this idea came to me though, it knocked me on my ass. I thought about it constantly. It consumed my musing by day and invaded my dreams by night. But writing a hybrid fic seemed like I was stepping out onto a new landscape and it was pretty scary not knowing how people would respond. There were plenty of times when I nearly gave up and packed it in, but I had lovely people around me to encourage me and keep that fire lit. And so, I persevered, and I'm so glad I did.

Fic with the fewest words: (666) Exposed - This fic was so much fun to write! It was written for the Trick or Treat Fest back in 2019 and had a word count requirement of exactly 666 words. I'm not much for shorter fics because I like to write whole story arcs, so the challenge for me was to try and do that in 666 words. FUN FACT - This is 1 of only 2 fics, out of 63 total fics that I've written, that is rated Mature. The other 61 are rated Explicit. I managed to justify a mature rating in 666 words because Louis is basically naked for the entirety while he's posing as a live-art installation covered in body paint hahaha.

I’m a bit behind on doing this challenge and I don't know who else has participated, but I'll tag these lovely writers if they'd like to share: @ireallysawanangel @louandhazaf @neondiamond @beardyboyzx @lululawrence @larry-hiatus @larrysballetslippers @hellolovers13.

#September 15 2023 #tag games #Fics by the numbers #this was super fun!

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gracesshelves · 3 months

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The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

The first time I watched anything related to The Lord of the Rings was last year when my friend made me watch the extended editions of the first three movies, so I was glad that I had some context while coming into The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012). However, I have not read any of the books, which I think made it harder to watch this movie in particular. I would rate this movie a two out of five, which is the lowest rating I’ve given in class so far. One of the most important things when consuming media is the ability to keep my focus. I’ve watched some really poorly made movies, but they kept my attention throughout the whole thing, something I cannot say for this movie. I sat and watched this whole thing and I cannot remember half of what happened because it dragged on for so long. Connecting to our discussion this week on the dangers of alienating potential fans through adaptation, I do think this movie kind of does this. If I’d read The Hobbit before, I would’ve been more invested, but since I had no context of where this was going, it was very hard to pay attention.

This movie follows Bilbo Baggins sixty years before the events of The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Despite his adventure-filled youth, Bilbo mellowed into adulthood and thought he was content to live the life of a simple hobbit. However, this illusion is shattered when Gandalf the Grey invites a bunch of dwarves to his house for dinner in an attempt to convince Bilbo to join their quest. Their goal is to reclaim the Kingdom of Erebor, which was captured by the dragon Smaug 171 years ago. Despite some pushback, Bilbo eventually agrees to join their group. In this film, we follow them on the first leg of their quest. Honestly, I think Martin Freeman was the perfect choice for this role. He’s kind of developed a type cast as the cautious, reluctant, sarcastic protagonist/sidekick, but he plays it so well. His personality got me through the lulls of action during this movie.

I promise I have some nice things to say! I really enjoyed the whole Rivendell scene because I got to see some characters I actually knew. I also think it did a nice job of establishing Gandalf's philosophy, which makes his choices of protagonists make so much more sense. My favorite scene in the whole movie was, of course, the scene with Gollum. This section had the most tension and highest stakes of the film, in my opinion. I was folding clothes while watching the majority of the movie, but I had to stop what I was doing during this part because I was so invested. Andy Serkis does an amazing job of making Gollum creepy, yet sympathetic. His performance always draws me in, and I think the movie would have suffered without the inclusion of this scene.

This week I don’t particularly have any comments on themes, because I have a hard time recalling what the plot was in general besides getting from point A to point B, but I did appreciate Gandalf’s whole speech about why he picked Bilbo specifically. He says: “Some believe it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. It is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love” (The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey 2012). I think that is what stuck with me the most walking away from this movie. Will I finish the franchise? Probably not. I have a lot of diehard LOTR fans as friends, and they loathe this trilogy so I don’t feel the need to watch it, but I might consider reading the source material. Unfortunately, the studios kind of shot themselves in the foot with this one. I would’ve had the patience to sit through a four-hour-long movie if it covered the whole book. Making a trilogy out of a book that is shorter than any of the The Lord of the Rings books was not the best idea.

#my reviews

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caramelcoffeeaddict · 7 months

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Weekend WIP - Ask Game

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more).

I was tagged by @bitbybitwrites. thank you for tagging me!! I don't post fics until they are complete, so unless I've mentioned the story on my blog, some of these answers are not going to make sense to anyone but me, LOL. also, I try to only work on one WIP at a time, but I do have a few partially started/outlined stories sitting in my drafts folder on my hard drive, and I guess they are technically WIPs even if I'm not actively working on them, so here goes nothing...

1. WIP List:

Andy Hummel's Last Will And Testament

Breaking Stereotypes

I Taste The Truth

You And Me And The Beat

The Escape Plan

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?:

Breaking Stereotypes is currently just over 55k words, so definitely that one ;)

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?:

Probably Breaking Stereotypes?

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?:

Currently, I'm only focusing on Breaking Stereotypes, and I'm really looking forward to finishing it and getting it published.

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?:

I Taste The Truth is a pretty intimidating story to write. Which probably explains why I haven't even looked at in a few years. why? because it involves a lot of world building since Kurt is part-Fae in that fic, and I want to make sure I can explain things properly without info-dumping, but also make sure that I'm not leaving out important info that lives in my head but a reader might need extra context for.

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?:

again, I Taste The Truth. for all the same reasons that I explained above.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?:

none of them? I've only ever had a beta read a fic if the story was written for a challenge where a beta was a requirement of the challenge.

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?:

all of them!! that's why their WIPs, LOL. Breaking Stereotypes was fic I started in 2017. I think I put it on official hiatus in 2019, and have only really done minor edits here-and-there until this year when I finally figured out what direction to take the story.

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?"

as of right now, Breaking Stereotypes is the only story with an OC. Her name is Candice. She is the manager of Blaine's band as well as Trent's girlfriend (Trent is bi in my fic). She's a smart and snarky, and she takes her job very seriously.

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?:

I don't have a lot written for it yet, but my guess is that You And Me And The Beat will be the sexiest ;)

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?:

I honestly don't know. Andy Hummel's Last Will And Testament, maybe?

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?:

all of them? again, I don't know. I think my characterization is about equal across all my stories? I could be wrong though.

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?:

You And Me And The Beat? maybe?

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?:

Definitely Breaking Stereotypes.

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?:

I don't put expectations on my fics. not the way this question implies anyway. the only expectations I have are things like "I expect this to have 20 chapters" or "I expect this to be around 20k words" or "I expect to complete this story by next week". I don't expect anything else from them. I really am that annoying person that writes stories strictly for my own enjoyment because these stories are in my head and I want to get them on paper so I can read them. even though I complain about it, the creative process of bringing these stories to life is the best part of writing fic. I just share the completed stories with the fandom for fun, because I figure there might be other people out there that will enjoy it as much as me. if not, no worries. it made me happy, and that's all that matters.

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?:

daydream? yes. I think about all of them often. usually just the one that is my main focus of the moment, but sometimes one of the others likes to remind me it still exists, and tries to command my attention ;) however, I don't usually have dreams about my WIPs. (I have occasionally gotten an idea for a story/WIP because of a dream though)

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?:

I Taste The Truth has that element of including Fae attributes and otherworldly components, which makes it different from my other WIP stories.

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?:

The Escape Plan is a fun and silly fic.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?:

nope. sorry.

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.:

I honestly can't remember what I have or have not shared about each of these fics, so I don't know what you don't know. but if you have questions you can always feel free to send me an ask! I love talking about my fics with people.

#i was tagged #writer ask meme #kiwi's writing #long post

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home-from-hogwarts · 3 months

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Book Recommendations for Gryffindor

I'm just making these for fun! I'm looking for adventure books, or stories with a high emphasis on courage/chivalry/honor.

Nonfiction/Memoir:

Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand. The story of Louis Zamperini, who was an Olympic runner prior to WWII. He was later drafted and survived both being on a raft for over 40 days at sea, and then being held in horrible conditions by the Japanese as a prisoner of war. In light of Gryffindor specifically- his childhood antics and pranks are hilarious, and might remind you a bit of Fred and George. But more than that, he showed incredible bravery throughout the course of world war two.

Hons and Rebels by Jessica Mitford. I actually read this because JK Rowling said it was one of her favorite books! She's a socialite who rejected her (largely fascist) family in favor of communist politics, and ran away to marry her second cousin Esmond Romilly- who had himself left the family to join the Spanish Civil War. Basically everything about this book is hilarious, and I've read it multiple times. Bits of it will make you cringe, but it's absolutely worthwhile. After the book ends Jessica became a muckraker and worked in a civil rights organization. The story of a socialite running away and standing up against fascism (while at the same time being a bit young and immature) might remind you of Sirius Black, ngl.

Born a Crime by Trevor Noah. Being real... it's his mother's story, almost more than his. But she's definitely a woman to admire in my book! The book follows Trevor's life growing up as a mixed-race child under apartheid, as well as living in the shadow of an abusive stepfather. It's written in a very episodic way, and things aren't necessarily recounted consecutively. As you'd expect from a comedian, it's written in a very humorous and exaggerated way.

Warriors Don't Cry by Melba Pattillo Beals. She was one of the Little Rock Nine, and her endurance during her years at Central High is amazing. I think on a conceptual level I understood the facts of what had happened before reading this, but I never really imagined what it would be like to sacrifice your high school years (and what should have been a happy time of your life!) to a cause greater than yourself like this. Her classmates treated her horribly, and reading this book makes you admire the entire group's commitment.

Fiction- Classic Lit + Modern:

Robin Hood by Roger Lancelyn Green. Ok, the book was targeted at kids... But the charm of it is really in how old-fashioned the writing and sentiments are. It has a lot of emphasis on chivalry and courage, and both Robin Hood and Marian are the types of "paragon" characters who give you warm fuzzies to read about. Maybe try the Howard Pyle version if you want something that feels a little more adult- I've only read the L. Green edition, so that's what I'm recommending. (I'll add on that if you like this to try reading a version of King Arthur- it's the same Gryffindor feeling with its emphasis on chivalry and honor. I didn't want to recommend it because I haven't read it all the way through since middle school!).

The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy. Full disclosure- this is the only book in this list that I haven't finished. I'm reading it rn and I'm only a few chapters in, but I love it! This introduced the idea of a "masked hero" to literature, and the vibe of it- rebelling to stand up for the lives of other people- is very Gryffindor.

The Martian by Andy Weir. Wonderful story about an astronaut who gets left alone on Mars, and uses his ingenuity to survive. It could be a Ravenclaw book for that reason, but I think that the adventurous feeling will probably appeal most to Gryffindor type personalities.

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. I read this a few years ago, but I read it in just one day (which is a high recommendation!). The main theme is basically the intense rivalry between the greasers and the socs, and the fallout as a result of it. If I remember correctly the boys in it were all very loyal to each other, and I think the drama in it will probably appeal to those in Gryffindor house. You'll also understand this reference: "stay gold!"

Bonus: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Included for three reasons- a) another of JKR's favorite authors is apparently Jane Austen, b) the romance kind of reminds me of Jily, and c) Elizabeth is definitely a Gryffindor. I think this manifests mainly in her clear self-respect, particularly her commitment to only marrying for love even in the face of potential poverty. She doesn't try to be something she's not. This is a "bonus" because Jane Austen's subtle wit means that it could very easily be a Ravenclaw book.

#harry potter #book recommendations #gryffindor #bookblr #Hogwarts houses #hogwarts #classic literature #books #memoirs #fiction #novels #book recs #book recs by Hogwarts house #part 1/4

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somastory · 6 months

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Ok Here’s An Actual TLDR Intro Post

KEEP AN EYE ON THIS POST FOR FUTURE EDITS!

Hi, my name’s Rory 😄 I’m a 24 year old pansexual partnered kinky white cisgender woman (she / her) in the New England area training to become a sex coach (I’m still about 2 years away from finishing this first certification). I’d really like to help out other queer and neurodivergent folks find their full pleasure potential and feel good about the sex they’re having! I’m mostly focused on the scientific and psychological side of sex, rather than any mystical or tantric point of view… but admittedly I am agnostic and like to believe in magic and manifestation 💖. Basically, I have tarot cards, but I’m too lazy to use them!

🚫 DNI if you are: 🚫

— A minor / under 18 years old!!!

Seriously DO NOT interact with adult content creators as a minor… you’re not only putting yourself at risk, you’re also putting the adult at risk too.

Literally anyone else is welcome to interact, I just ask that you be respectful. I only follow, like and reblog posts from people with their age in bio (18+) and after doing the vibe check that they wouldn’t mind my interaction with their content.

👀 What Kind of Stuff You’ll See on This Blog: 👀

— My personal stories about my sexual growth / healing journey. Let’s normalize learning about and embracing our pleasure!

— Sex-positive education and activism :)

— Reblogs of hot stuff related to sexual interests of mine (including taboo stuff like age play, incest, MD/lb, BDSM, somnophilia, dubcon, and noncon… DNI if any of these are a hard no / repulsive for you because I may forget to tag). This may include sexy fan art of my fannish interests if I see it and I do the OP vibe check.

— Fan interests include: LISA, Ted Lasso, Jreg, Danganronpa, Persona 5, Salad Fingers, Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared, The Coffin of Andy & Leyley [and while I’m not really an RPF kinda girl, I also like Formula 1 and Jeremy Clarkson / James May / Richard Hammond].

🤯 My Politics, In Case You Were Wondering (DNI if any of this makes you want to cancel me, but I am open to measured discussion): 🤯

— I support racial justice, LGBT+ rights, disability justice, and the neurodiversity movement. I support transformative justice and I am a prison abolitionist about 99% of the time.

— You can’t control the thoughts in your head or who you’re attracted to. People should not be judged on the basis of their thoughts alone. That being said, I strongly believe that certain attractions are better off (which is to say, safer) explored in fantasy rather than IRL (this includes minor-adult relationships and incest).

— I am Pro Choice but respect Pro Lifers as long as they don’t try to enforce their ideology via the law

— I am COVID vaccinated while being partnered with an unvaccinated person

— I’m kind of post-left these days because I don’t really see a world after capitalism but I think the people can make capital work FOR THEM if they organize with this in mind. Having money is not a sin if you acquired it via your own labor and you strive to use it as ethically as possible.

— I strive to be anti-reactionary in all things except this one: Fuck Trump, I’m never voting for him LMAO. This is also why I’m allergic to most social media because it feeds off reactionary politics.

💖💖💖💖 THANKS FOR READING! 💖💖💖💖 (god this was still probably too much information, I’m really good at that)

#I think this is easier to navigate than the other intro #the first one was mostly there for me to say yes I am a tumblr veteran #I should start tagging my own posts as op shouldn’t I #op

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canigetacupofugh · 1 year

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What even is OGL?

TLDR: OGL stands for Open Game License and is a public copyright license that allows people to use certain parts of the game system- most notably the mechanics.

It was supposed to be irrevocable and permanent at LEAST for the editions made before and up to it's inception. It is also why/how D&D is the game that you have heard of and not something more generic.

It was actually a brilliant business plan hatched by a man who understood the product, and supported by others that also understood how much they'd come to owe a happy community for the success of the game.

Let's talk about it!

A "Brief" History of Open Gaming - or, How WotC is Shitting on 20 years of a good thing -

Waaaay back in 2000 WotC released the first OGL for D&D 3.0. This was awesome because it meant that there was a nice legal way for people to essentially share their home brew - rules, settings, modules, entire campaigns. It took away the fear of lawyers and placed a chunk of the rules in the creators hands and said, "Here, so long as you follow the rules, you can use this part."

Ryan Dancey, the person who started the negotiations for WotC to buy TSR in the first place - the original owners of D&D - was the person running the show back then and he believed that the way to have D&D be a business success was to have a thriving creative community.

"I think there's a very, very strong business case that can be made for the idea of embracing the ideas at the heart of the Open Source movement and finding a place for them in gaming. One of my fundamental arguments is that by pursuing the Open Gaming concept, Wizards can establish a clear policy on what it will, and will not allow people to do with its copyrighted materials. Just that alone should spur a huge surge in independent content creation that will feed into the D&D network."

And boy was he right! See, the idea here is that if they open up their system (Known as the d20 System) then players learn this system across several genres/settings making it a standard.

Content creators were happy, the D20 System became a standard, everybody (mostly) happy. They even won over a lot of the Grognards who weren't happy with the changes being made to D&D.

Dancey understood the product they were selling.

When 4th came out in 2008 they released the GSL - Gaming System License. It was more restrictive than the previous OGL and like WotC themselves predicted, the community largely ignored 4E (Side Note - 4th is actually my favorite system and it makes me sad that greed ruined it), or even outright shunned it and we saw the brith of Pathfinder - under the OGL, they used the 3.5 ruleset and essentially made their own D&D - with blackjack, and hookers! Several of the people at Paiso used to work for WotC and genuinely believed in Open Gaming and working WITH content creators.

The GSL was, in Andy Collins words, "a Frankenstein's monster of an open license that ended up pleasing basically nobody."

There was less content made by 3rd parties, so instead of a new system having your usual Grognards who just didn't like change, and the people who tried the new system and didn't like it, you added a whole swath of people who were also mad that WotC had changed the rules they said they wouldn't - and since the old OGL was still active for previous editions, they just didn't hop on board the 4th Edition train.

In 2016 we saw a return to the old OGL and they even added another option for content creators - The Dungeon Masters Guild storefront - which allowed people to make content for specific WotC owned settings (creators set their own price, but WotC and OneBookShelf took 50% of proceeds).

In August 2022 rumors started that the OGL was in danger again, aaaand you're probably reading this because you've heard about or seen the new OGL 1.1 leaks and the backlash that is occurring.

Until WotC actually makes official statements on all this, everything is alleged and plenty of people are covering the leaked document and what it might/does mean so you can find that elsewhere (this is already long-winded!) but I'll give my thoughts on the topic. My personal thoughts/opinions - It's pretty easy to ignore some of the new OGL when you see things like you have ot make $50,000 on your product for WotC to want it reported or $750,000 for them to want royalties (at 20-25%, ouch!) because they're going after people who are making some money and can maybe afford it - I even kinda get it - they see how their property has become a household name and want to find ways to make even more money off of it. They want a slice of the pie these 3rd party creators are baking. I get that. And if it was like 4.0 where the old OGL still stood and you could just keep making content for that system and ignore the new system- then I wouldn't care.. but this is much worse. They want to walk back a license that they told people would not be revoked. That people have made a living off of. They also want to be able to just poach your ideas from what you make and not have to share any pie with you - as an artist, ownership of my own IP is something I value.

The thing is, while WotC might own D&D, they didn't CREATE it. This is a huge faceless company that doesn't care about people. They are not your friend and they have shown their hand - they didn't learn the correct lesson from 4th, or see that we as a community were forgiving them with 5th - they just see money and want to squeeze us all for everything we got. They don't understand their product or the community and they want to not only take, take, take, but if we let them, then we set a dangerous precedent that licenses that are supposed to be irrevocable can simply be torn up, and that they can just take your hard work and keep it for themselves.

Now, I don't think they can actually legally revoke the OGL 1.0 - but if they do somehow, that's no bueano for more than just TTRPGs, and isn't it bad enough that they're trying to? Is there really ANYTHING they could do to save this? I'm pretty open-minded, maybe some gesture exists, but I can't imagine it right now.

If you read all that, thank you! Here's a silver lining for you - Paizo is releasing their own ORC - Open RPG Creative License that they are entrusting to a law firm to keep it open. Read more about it HERE

#ogl 1.0a #ogl 1.1 #open gaming license #dungeons and dragons #dnd #TTRPG #ORC License #paizo #history lesson

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looseygoosey66 · 11 months

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Stone Gossard And Regan Hagar On Bookending Brad Via Pair Of New Releases

Since forming in 1992, Seattle rock outfit Brad has released six albums, experimenting with voices and sounds which allowed them to operate outside the grunge groundswell developing around them.

Driven by the soulful, one of a kind vocal of singer and pianist Shawn Smith, Brad’s music has always maintained a sense of honesty, the singer’s earnest delivery and thoughtful storytelling defining their best work.

Sessions for the group’s 1993 studio debut Shame, newly reissued to celebrate the album at 30, moved notoriously fast, with Brad emerging with a self-produced album in just 17 days, the result of a highly collaborative songwriting process.

“I think Regan has been using this word more often. But he talks about inception and how he’s so attracted to art that is sort of the first moment or the first time that something reveals itself,” explained Brad guitarist Stone Gossard, referencing Brad drummer Regan Hagar. “I think we had that on the first record in spades,” he said, looking back at Shame. “Because we were just jumping off a cliff saying, ‘Well, let’s make a record. We don’t have any songs but I know we can do it in 10 days. And we’ve never heard this bass player before but I bet he’s gonna be good! And we’re gonna go in a studio and it’s probably all gonna work out.’ And it actually did!” recalled the guitarist. “And the reason why is because we had that spirit of sort of dreaming and collaborating.”

Smith passed away tragically in April of 2019 at just 53 years old, the result of high blood pressure and a torn aorta shortly after the start of sessions for what would become Brad’s sixth studio album.

Processing the loss of their friend and bandmate, Brad reconvened to finish the music that makes up the new In The Moment That You’re Born, now available on vinyl and for online streaming, a collection of ten songs which includes a Brad take on “Stars n You,” Hagar revisiting his work alongside late singer Andy Wood in the group Malfunkshun.

“To me, this record is the most similar to the first. So, it’s interesting that they’re bookending each other from our career as it were as a group collectively,” Hagar observed. “The early tracks, it was 17 days of just kind of throwing ideas down and that kind of collaboration - working through songs in real time onto tape,” he said of the Shame sessions. “This latest record is actually a collection of those moments through the past decade really, where we had gotten together for a weekend at a time to throw ideas down - always with the intention of getting together later to finish,” Hagar explained. “When we did get together to finish, Shawn wasn’t with us any longer unfortunately. So, it remained rawer and more like the inception of the songs than some of the other albums. Which, I think, looking back at it now, lends itself so much to our first outing, the Shame album, that it’s poetic in a sense.”

Both the Shame reissue and the new In The Moment That You’re Born album are now available via Gossard and Hagar’s own Loosegroove Records, a label they ran together between 1994 and 2000, relaunching the label in 2020 in partnership with music distributor The Orchard, a forward thinking entity focused on great music which drills down on the lost art of artist development.

I spoke with Stone Gossard and Regan Hagar about the legacy of Shawn Smith, the cathartic process of wrapping up In The Moment That You’re Born and bookending the Brad story in surreal fashion via a pair of new releases. A transcript of our phone conversation, edited for length and clarity, follows below.

Jim Ryan: Stone, when you and I spoke in 2020, you mentioned that you were hoping to get this last Brad record out. Here we are almost three years later. I imagine it’s a difficult process but is it cathartic at all seeing it out there now starting to find an audience? Does that bring closure at all?

Stone Gossard: I think it’s cathartic. And it does bring some closure for sure. The process was three years and I think it was appropriately long in terms of sort of all of the things that needed to happen to sort of move through the process of listening, finalizing and bringing back the sort of key players that are going to be part of the decisionmaking in terms of Brad and Shawn’s estate and Lucy his partner. And just kind of getting everybody to see the idea and to approve. So that was a good process for us.

We got deep listens on a lot of tracks that we had recorded over the last five years. And I think we went in with the mental attitude of, “How do we move through this like Brad would move through stuff naturally?” And I think we were able to do that. Leaving it raw and loving elements that are sort of unpolished - but also sort of messing around and tweaking stuff and flipping it over and trying new stuff.

It gave Regan and I a chance to spend some time with Keith Lowe. Keith was a major contributor on the songwriting end of this record, which is a great, great thing. We really got to sit in the studio together and just listen to these old tracks. And spend some time together and think about Shawn and how much we miss him and how much his musical energy and his kindness and his humor and his view of life - just how much we appreciated that. And it was a good process. And I think in the end that the record turned out great.

“In the Moment That You’re Born” is the first single and it’s kind of one of the best Brad songs that I think we’ve ever written. It has an element of Satchel in there, which is Shawn and Regan’s other band. It’s heavy and it’s soaring and it has one of those lyrics from Shawn that sort of transcends and that can really bring a lot of meaning to a song. So, it was a good process.

Regan Hagar: I appreciate Stone’s answer there. It was quite an experience losing Shawn. And then going through and listening again gave all of us different ears for a moment. And just hearing Shawn’s message was coming across so much clearer in his absence. It was an interesting experience - very fulfilling.

Ryan: I was listening to the album again this morning. I think there’s a real honesty in Shawn’s lyrics. And I think that’s something that very much comes across in his vocals too - they’re so earnest. What sort of struck you about hearing him deliver these new songs as you started to reapproach them again after a few years?

Stone: Earnest is one word. I do think there’s very little between Shawn’s singing and sort of the very present sort of emotion of what he’s going through. I don’t know what the right word for that is. In terms of my experience with other singers, and just in music in general, his ability to sort of summon that kind of energy out of the universe in terms of being able to crystalize his emotions into a vocal melody, and even a vibration in his voice and how his voice comes across - it’s very pure. And it has an element to it that’s just undeniable when you’re in the room with it and when you’re listening to it. In the moment of creation, Shawn is really at his best. He really has a superpower there.

Ryan: I know that writing Shame was pretty collaborative. But by the time you get to this one, everyone’s just busier. There’s so many more things in play 30 years later. But, at least initially, how did these songs start to come together as you guys started kicking around the idea of a new Brad album?

Regan: To me, this record is the most similar to the first. So it’s interesting that they’re bookending each other from our career as it were as a group collectively.

The early tracks, it was 17 days of just kind of throwing ideas down and that kind of collaboration - working through songs in real time onto tape. This latest record is actually a collection of those moments through the past decade really, where we had gotten together for a weekend at a time to throw ideas down - always with the intention of getting together later to finish. So, when we did get together to finish, Shawn wasn’t with us any longer unfortunately. So, it remained rawer and more like the inception of the songs than some of the other albums. Which, I think, looking back at it now, lends itself so much to our first outing, the Shame album, that it’s poetic in a sense. This record reminds me of the first experience in its raw nature.

And the fact that we’re looking at a collection of song inceptions. And not that they’re not finished, but a lot of times in the studio you’ll redo things several times or add parts. And that wasn’t necessarily the case. The bulk of these songs are really just one or two passes with the band in the studio. So, it’s fun.

Ryan: Regan, what was it like revisiting Malfunkshun? How did you guys go about putting a new spin on “Stars n You” and kind of reapproach that track?

Regan: That was actually Stone’s idea. It was one of those weekends where we just got together and only did that song. And we had been apart for quite a long time at that point. It wasn’t initially going to be on the record I don’t think. In our first setup it wasn’t there. I had a really good time kind of revisiting that. Shawn was such a fan of Andy’s that when he approached it, he sounds to me very, very much like Andy. I can barely tell the two apart on that particular track - which is pretty phenomenal. As opposed to thinking he didn’t have an angle on it, Shawn shows amazing respect to Andy on that track. It’s been a good experience.

Stone: I knew how much that song meant to Regan and Shawn and I. And I think at the time it was like, “What’s something that can sort of remind us of where we came from? Something that’s fun that really could sort of reenergize our collaboration in a way?” Andy Wood was one of the most powerful, amazing sources of love and joy for all of us - everyone that met him, including Shawn. Invoking one of his songs just felt like the right thing to do at the time, you know?

Ryan: One of my favorite tracks on the album is “Without Guns.” A bit of a message there, some pretty powerful storytelling. But musically it’s great too. Am I hearing saxophone on there?

Regan: Yes! So, again, that’s a sketch. Sometimes Shawn would just vocalize what he thinks a melody should fit into a verse section and then would come back and do that later. This was one of those situations where we had a missing verse and we asked Hans Teuber, who had done some various horns and assorted instruments and keyboards and stuff with us on that album, to go in there and jam with Shawn’s scatting as it were - just kind of vocalize his idea. And it ended up just being really cool having the two of them run consecutively together. That’s what I’m thinking in my mind’s eye right now when you bring that up is that I really love that second verse where it’s Hans on sax and Shawn kind of scatting. It’s really amazing.

Stone: It’s great that you brought up that song. Because that’s definitely like a wonderful sort of - it’s not a Frankenstein but we started out with... I think Shawn did that as sort of a late night drum machine, one guitar and threw a vocal down where it was like, “OK. Here’s just kind of a crazy sketch…” But the more we listened to it, the more we fell in love with that character. The song has this... I don’t know what the right sort of word is. But this sort of homemade quality of it and… I don’t know. It has sort of has this quality to it that’s so nasty and broken and unpolished and unvarnished…

Regan: Like a drawl.

Stone: Yeah. It’s like he’s channeling some character from some place that is not Capitol Hill, you know? It’s great.

Ryan: Regan, you directed the video for “Hey Now What’s the Problem?” There’s this cool combination of vintage horror film imagery, cool pop culture moments, footage of the band - what were you going for with that video?

Regan: Right. I had initially been so excited about that track when it was first cut that I just threw together a bunch of my - I have a collection of pop clips. I am a bit of a videophile. This must’ve been six or seven years ago but I cut together all of that stuff without any of the band in it. Just running on excitement from cutting the track and listening to it and what Shawn was singing about, I just started getting the imagery of kind of how ridiculous some of those quote unquote “spooky” things are to people. And I found it somewhat ludicrous. So, I had just started comping that stuff together. And it sat for a bunch of years. And then when we finished the record, and it was time to generate some videos for it, I thought, “You know, I want to change that - but keep the same vibe.” But I ended up going and refreshing it with a bunch of clips of us playing that we had just to kind of bring it up to date. But it was just kind of goofing off with pop video stuff, which I really very much enjoy doing.

Ryan: Well, Regan, I think it was you that used the word “bookended” earlier. And that’s exactly the word that was in my head this morning. What a surreal way it is to sort of bookend this Brad story with the Shame reissue plus the new album. What did each of you learn in the process of working on both of these albums and taking a rare look like back like that in the depth you have throughout?

Stone: I think Regan has been using this word more often. But he talks about inception and how he’s so attracted to art that is sort of the first moment or the first time that something reveals itself. And I think over and over again through our careers, particularly with Regan and I, and with all of the bands that we’ve played in, when you first get together and you don’t know what anything is and you’re having this moment of like, “I’m free to be myself and I trust these people and I know that I’m safe...” I think that has been shown to us to be true again and again. The nature of the best stuff is when people let their guard down and come together collectively.

And I think we had that on the first record in spades. Because we were just jumping off a cliff saying, “Well, let’s make a record. We don’t have any songs but I know we can do it in 10 days. And we’ve never heard this bass player before but I bet he’s gonna be good! And we’re gonna go in a studio and it’s probably all gonna work out.” And it actually did! And the reason why is because we had that spirit of sort of dreaming and collaborating.

And I think the last record was the same in the sense that I think we came into the studio in those last sessions when Shawn was still with us and I think at the time we thought, “Well, what haven’t we done? How should we collaborate?” And I think the thing that we did was say, “Well, Keith Lowe, you’re a great player. You play some riffs.” And some of these Keith Lowe riffs that he brought out allowed us to kind of play in a different way than we normally played. And we layered those. And then Shawn Smith would come in and layer it in another way that we didn’t expect. And there was a generosity to the process that I think really comes across in the music.

So, long story short, I think it’s that inception and collaboration are those two things that really generate the most in the least amount of time.

Regan: I feel fortunate. And to see the absoluteness of it now with Shawn’s passing, I just feel thankful. And I’m glad that, though difficult at times, the band really stuck to doing what we wanted to do. And sometimes that was trying to please each other, sometimes it was trying to please ourselves. But I like that we did it together. We’re such old friends in a sense. It’s rare - being old now and realizing that it’s a little bit more special than we realized. It feels good.

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gameminds · 1 year

Text

Tooth Gone

I got my tooth extracted. hooray

lol but seriously. I already feel substantially better psychologically just to have it out and not have to worry about it, and it hurts less than it has when it was at its worst already anyway. I'm glad I was at least able to be on top of my shit for long enough and consistently enough that I was able to get that done.

I'm still a little short on the financial side, and unfortunately I still haven't been able to monetize streaming or writing in any way yet. But really, I'm still in a very happy hobby space with both of those, and I've been very successful with school and work in the mean time. Partially because I sold a house last year, I'm essentially getting exactly zero dollars back on my tax return. So it may be another few weeks of grinding pretty hard until the end of the semester in the first week or so of May.

This summer, I'm going to be taking 4 full credit classes, so my school schedule is going to ramp up pretty dramatically. But I'm in a place where my productivity level and focus level is at all time highs, and I'm feeling more comfortable and fulfilled than I maybe ever have. Unfortunately again, I will probably have to reduce my content output a little. But basically no one is consuming it right now anyway XD

If you've stopped by the blog or my stream, I'd love to hear from you! I've been really interested to get feedback and hear from people who share interests with me, and I'm eager to build a bigger community of people that I feel like a part of. If you read my stories and you enjoy them, please please please share them, comment on my posts about them, send me a message, anything at all to let me know you're out there! Helping me share my stories with new people is the most important way you can help me meet more writers and content creators, share queer, progressive content you enjoy with people you love, and grow my channel so that I can keep adding more stories to the portfolio! Letting me know what you like and don't like, what you want to see more of, what keeps you coming back, and how I can help you see yourself in my stories is the most important way you can let me know that you appreciate the effort I put into crafting stories that speak to people, and help me get better and better all the time!

Anyway today I'm feeling very grateful after having several very bad weeks full of a lot of pain, stress, and depression. For anyone out there who reads this blog, reads my stories, watches the stream, hangs out with me on twitter-- thank you for spending some of your time with me and my weird thoughts!

the patreon can be found through my linktree if you want to support or check out my stories-- everything on patreon except the story outlines is available TOTALLY FREE. any amount you want to contribute goes directly to supporting me as a writer and content creator.

I've been posting stories sort of scattershot between a bunch of different profiles, but this week I'm going to migrate all of them over so that they're linked on both the patreon page and my writing blog, AB sci-fi. All of the stories will also be migrated to Google Docs in the process. I may even do some updates and edits 😉

Hope all is well with all of you! Enjoy the stories!

Catch you next time-

-AB

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deanscherrypie69 · 1 year

Text

I posted 2,365 times in 2022

That's 2,365 more posts than 2021!

211 posts created (9%)

2,154 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@iandmyannabel-lee

@evansbby

@justconfettiandsomeddew

@angrythingstarlight

I tagged 1,957 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#chris evans - 554 posts

#ari levinson - 110 posts

#chris evans fanfiction - 85 posts

#lloyd hansen - 83 posts

#andy barber - 81 posts

#ariiiiii my love - 75 posts

#chris evans fandom - 64 posts

#chris evans fic - 63 posts

#steve rogers - 59 posts

#chris evans x fluff - 55 posts

Longest Tag: 58 characters

#i like how this pops up when i’m putting him in my fic lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

Breaking And Entering

Pairings; Dark!RansomDrysdale XFemaleReaer Warnings; Stalking. Language. minors DNI- Adults only!! 18+

Do not post or translate my work! You have been warned!! Reblogs and comments are welcomed please!! Not edited (I hate this sm, might delete)

-Dark themes ahead-

Ransom watched you. He was parked on the other side of the street. He hums and takes out his binoculars.

He watches you from across the street. Your kitchen windows give a direct view out to the street.

He sees you wearing an oversized t-shirt. It wasn't his. Who's was it? Ransom pulls the binoculars from his eyes and looks in your driveway. He sees a motorcycle. And your car was in front of it.

"What the fuck?" Ransom growls his hands tighten around the binoculars, almost breaking them in half. He sees movement and puts them back up to his eyes.

He sees a guy with blonde hair and no t-shirt on walking over to you. His hair was wet. Like he was freshly showered.

You didn't notice because you were washing the dishes.

He comes up behind you wrapping his arms around your stomach. He sees your breath get caught in your throat. You lean your head back into his bare chest.

The guy quickly spins you around. Your wet hands colliding with his bare chest. Your trail your hands down to his chest.

The man mumbles something to you causing you to stop your movements. He tugs at your shirt and smirks.

Now Ransom knew who's shirt it was.

You and Ransom broke up almost three weeks ago. And here you were fucking some guy you probably didn't even know? Ransom felt his heart begin to beat faster and faster. It was about to pop out of his chest.

The guy removes the shirt from your body. Leaving you in only your bra and underwear. He licks his lips before sliding it onto himself. He grabs your chin and places a wet kiss upon your lips.

Ransom could tell you liked it. They way your hands gripped his shirt. He knew you were a moaning mess. The guy pulls away and says something.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" He hums.

You nod biting your lips. "I'll walk you out."

Both you and the blonde guy leave the kitchen. You make sure to turn off the light on the way out.

Ransom curses when he loses visual on you.

But then your front door opens.

The guy walks out. He kisses your cheek. Ransom watches him walk to his motorcycle he turns it on and reves it up.

"Bye Steve!" You shout.

Steve shoots you a wave and drives into the night.

Closing the door behind, locking it too.

You rush upstairs.

Steve was a good guy. You guys were kinda fuckbuddies. You didn't want anything surious. Because you had just gotten out of a relationship. with a guy named Ransom. God he was a controlling fuck. He didn't even let you hang out with your friends.

And if he did he would follow you without your permission and watch you. He was convinced that you cheated on him too.

You had enough. So you broke up with him over text. And it has been the best 3 weeks of your life.

See the full post

528 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

if ur comfortable will u write something with chris evans and his wife!reader where he comforts her after she gets a little jealous🙈💞

Jealousy, Jealousy ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

Pairings; Chris Evans X Wife!FemaleReader Warnings; None really, just Y/n being jealous. Mentions of smut. So 18+

Please please!! Send more requests. Smut. Angst?!? ANYTHING!!!!

Reblogs and comments are welcomed! Gives me more motivation to write for y’all!

The gif is by: @katlarence you can find it here

[: I do not give permission for my work to be posted, translated or published to any third party site or app. ]

Join my celebration!

🤍

It was the annual fourth of July cookout at the Evans household. Where friends and family gathered around the big backyard making smores and catching up on life.

"Mommy." Your song Xaviar tugs on the bottom on your dress.

"Yes, baby." You say putting out more snacks on the patio. "Can I have a piece of chocolate?" He questions, his big blue eyes looking up at you.

"Yes, but don't tell your dad." You whisper grabbing the Hershey bar from the counter.

"Thank you!" He squeals.

You laugh as you watch your son runs in the yard.

"Why is he so happy?" Stong arms wrap around your waist. His face nuzzled into your neck.

"He just wanted a snack." You say turning to kiss Chris' head. "You having fun?" He says kissing your neck.

"Tons." You laugh putting a clip on the potato chips.

"I'm glad." Chris moves his face from your neck.

"You need another beer?" You hum moving from his grip.

Chris nods and throws the glass can into the trash bin. Reaching down into the cooler, you pull out a beer.

"Ya know. You ass looks good in this dress." Chris stands behind you rubbing your ass through the thin material.

"Chris." You squeal turning around to swat his arm, "There's children here!" You say pushing the beer towards him.

Chris rolls his eyes, "They didn't see a thing." He says ripping the top off the bottle.

"Dad?" You and Chris' head to the sound of your daughter's voice.

"That's my cue." Chris kisses your cheek.

"Have fun!" You wink.

You watch as your and his family begin to play water balloons.

--------

A couple of hours later as dark began to set in, you found yourself in the kitchen cleaning up, looking out of the kitchen window. You see your children and kids saying goodbyes.

See the full post

706 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

Prevy Neighbor Steve

Pairings PervyNeighbor!SteveRogers XFemaleReader! Warnings Smut! NON-CON-oral (male receiving!) threats! threatening, with a Knife! mentions of bodily harm, Read at your own risk! 18+ Is advised!

Thank you for the betta read @nomadstucky !!!

Most of this IS in Steve's POV!!

[NOTE: I do not give permission for my work to be posted, translated or published to any third party site or app. If anyone sees my work anywhere but here, it has been reposted without my permission. Please let me know!]

>Part Two<

🌹

It was around two in the afternoon when Steve saw the big moving truck pull into the driveway across the street. He was mowing his lawn. He cuts it off and grabs his water bottle. He wipes the sweat off his forehead. He squints when he sees the truck door open.

He tilts his head when he sees a female figure get out.

The house next door had been up for sale for a while. He maybe thought a nice family would move in. But boy was he wrong.

Jumping out from the truck with a groan. You slam the door. Closed.

Steve watches as your tan legs walk to the back of the truck. Lifting the door open revealing all of your stuff. He notices the sigh that leaves your lips.

Steve carefully sets his water bottle down on his porch. Walking on his freshly mowed grass, he looks both ways before crossing.

Once he was close, he shoves his hands into his shorts.

"Need any help?"

Yelping you turn around to see a tall blonde man with a smile spread across his face.

"Oh, hi. Um yea that would be great." You smile reaching into the truck to grab a box.

"You can grab whatever."

Steve nods at your words. He watches your hips sway when you walk away.

Sighing you set the box down by the front door.

Fishing in the pocket of your shorts. You pull out a key. You hum and put it in the door. Once unlocked you open the door widely.

Walking through the house you set the box in the center of the living room.

Behind you Steve had three boxes in his hands.

Setting yours down, Steve follows suite, "Thanks." You mutter.

"No problem, I'm Steve by the way." Sticking out his hand, you grab it.

"Y/n." You shake his hand firmly and pull away,

"I don't want you to think I was some kinda creep watching you from across the street." Steve chuckles. His laugh bounces off the bare walls.

"No- your good." You lightly smile. Walking past Steve and back outside. He takes a good look at the boxes.

One was labeled.

'Y/n's clothes.'

See the full post

717 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

The Escape Plan

Parings; Michael Myers X Female Reader

Warnings; Language. And Michael's love for Y/n, he's all touchy and stuff. Muder, blood. You know the drill guys. 18+ only

Disclaimer: This is my spin on RZ Halloween But With Y/n. I also took some parts out and changed them too! So i hope you guys like this ;) I've never written anything like this before. But this is my second attempt. Hope you enjoy.

(MY MISTAKES ARE MY OWN DOING :)))

Part one!

"Michael." You say standing up slowly. He towers over the door frame. Looking down you see one of the guards laying on top of the door. Did he use them to break down the door?

Michael huffs and looks at you through his orange mask. He motions his head for you to follow him. He walks away quickly leaving you in the room.

You get a good look at the guard. His head had a huge gash in it. His brains were painted all over the tan door. You gulp and walk around the scene before you.

Michael was waiting for you by one of the doors. He was breathing heavily. Looking to the side you see blood down on of the hallways. Gasping. You wrap your hands around your body. Did Michael do this?

Stopping dead in your tracks. You sprint down the hallway. You ran. Passing all of the bodies on your way. You scream when you loose your balance.

Were you really sacred of what he hand done?

Next thing you knew you were on your back looking up at the ceiling. Groaning you touch your forehead. Opening your eyes you feel wetness.

Pulling your hand back. You see read coating your hands. You scream and sit up. Looking to your sides you see blood covering your body. It was all over your sweater. And backside.

Groaning you stand up. You almost slip again. But someone grabs you.

Michael pulls you up on your feel, He roughly grabs your hand not giving you time to speak.

"Did you kill them?" You whisper. Michael lets go of your arm.

He pulls something out of his pocket. It was a key card. You assume he got it from one of the guards, His bloody hand swipes it along the door. It buzzes and opens loudly. He grabs your hand once more.

"Michael!" You scream. He turns to look at you. His eyes scanning your face.

"Why." You shake your head in disbelief.

Did you not remember the promise he made to you? He was determined to get out of this place. And he wanted You to come with him.

Michael grunts and drags you through the halls by your hand. He never let go.

Then it hits you. As Michael reaches two double doors that look from outside. "My journal!" You scream. You try to escape from His grip. But he pulls you closer.

Michael shakes his head no.

A tear rolls down your cheek. That was the only thing you had left. It was important to you.

He pushes open the door. You shiver from the cold. It was a cold night in Haddonfield.

You stand there taking it in. You haven't been outside in fifteen years. It didn't feel real. (You tried to escape too many time) You look over to see Michael doing the same thing.

You shiver from the cold. Michael notices and looks down at you. His hand still intertwined with yours.

"You actually kept your promise." You chuckle. "We're free." Your voice break a little bit.

See the full post

844 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

RZ Michael Myers likes boobs. If you don’t agree with me. Argue with the wall😌

852 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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tttoluca · 2 years

Note

Writing questions

5, 10, 18

HI HI THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!!

5. writing superstitions: i personally don't have any? in fact i wasn't all that familiar with specific writing superstitions and had to google them lol. though to be fair i'm not that avid of a writer.

10. has a piece of writing/your own writing ever haunted you?: i'm also not all that avid of a reader either lmao, but when i do it's usually on the more sort of adverse psychological side. the last book i read might have been "baby teeth" by zoje stage which... bits of that book were pretty disturbing, as it's about a mother trying to understand her violent, manipulative 7-year-old daughter (i 1000000% recommend, the married couple in this book is precious and adorable and i love them).

oh but i also love middle grade books on occasion! and one that i adore is the "shadow weaver" duology by marcykate connolly, and here's a passage that gave me chills:

I stiffen, hoping the shadows and Dar combined will be enough to keep me concealed. It almost seemed like she could see through them earlier, but no one ever has before. She meanders aimlessly around the room, even after the younger man—Alden—tries to greet her. “Simone,” Tate says sharply. Her head snaps up, and her blank stare rests on him. “What did you find out?” A slow grin creeps over her face. “They’re here,” she says. My body freezes. She can’t mean me. She hasn’t even looked in my direction since she entered the room. Don’t worry; she’s crazy, Dar says. I relax slightly, but my stomach is still a mess of knots. The man frowns. “Where?” Simone sticks out her hand and points directly at me. Tate and his friend follow with their eyes. I can’t move. I can’t even blink. My insides clench. The little girl fixes her unsettling gaze on my corner, looking me straight in the eye like my shadows make no difference. “I know you,” she says.

in terms of my own writing - i also like to go dark, so i guess the most "haunting" thing i've written is. uhhh. you're the real gift, kid. some parts in that make me feel gross and grimy despite me being the one who wrote it. specifically like. the paragraphs that compare mirabel's spirit to sand.

i guess i'm not here, this isn't happening could be considered haunting but as opposed to just getting sad and angsty in a doc, it feels more gritty to get into the headspace of this evil, sick, disgusting person and try to make it super poetic.

18. a passage from your writing: i'm half-tempted to share a passage from something not encanto-related........ yeah fuck it. my favorite bit from a vent-y nitw one-shot about dissociation.

Fear and anger shot not only through her veins and her chest. They seeped down into her arms and her legs - they carried her over to snide Andy Cullen, they raised the bat, and they swung it hard, sending Andy down to the grass with a shout. Whack! He screeched, "What the fuck?!" while attempting to crawl backward away from her. Her legs followed him, her arms raising the bat a second time. Whack! He lie on his side and curled into a ball, arms covering his head, while onlookers gasped and screamed. Whack! She could promise a million times over that she wasn't in control of her own body. Now that she'd started, she couldn't stop. Whack! This had nothing to do with him, or with that stupid strike-out. She didn't know a thing about Andy Cullen and she cared very little about softball. Whack! She wasn't trying to shatter his skull. Whack! She was trying to shatter the screens. Whack!

because i got all ramble-y with the whole. softball thing. and then i accidentally stumbled upon the shattering his skull vs shattering "the screens" (a comparison i use throughout to describe derealization, like you're stuck in a box made of screens and are just watching the world. living between these screens) metaphor. and i just liked it a lot. so throughout my edits, i was very sure to keep that little idea.

as for encanto - julieta's rant from the scissors one-shot is probably one of my favorite things i have ever written that compiled a bunch of little ideas, like julieta unknowlingly trying to hand mirabel off to her abuser. and i just love letting her get stressed and vent-y.

“All I asked was for them to make sure they put the scissors back before they left the table. That’s all I asked. They… they know better. They know what she’ll do. They know she’s not… not… she’s not well right now. And they… And I know it’s not their responsibility to… to handle that but- all I asked was for them to put the scissors away. Is that… really so much to- [...] Why is she doing this to me? I can’t keep- I- I can’t keep doing this with her. What did I do? What am I doing wrong? Why is she doing this to herself? That’s- that’s all I need to know, is why. I would do anything to make it stop. I would do everything in my power and more to stop her from- from feeling whatever she’s feeling that makes her do the things she does. But I can’t- how am I supposed to help her if she won’t even tell me why she’s doing all of this? Is it me? Am I doing this to her?"

i had little bits and pieces of that rant in my head since like. the beginning of ttm. and so it was nice to finally compile it together into a coherent work.

fin.

again, thank you so much for your ask, and thank you so much for reading if you got this far!!!

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kaoarika · 10 months

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Leisured thoughts about Undelu as I make my way into its more recent chapters (basically comments from ch 51- onwards, at least until Fuuko gets captured by Under)

Spoilers, ig

I really feel for all these characters because the fact that they became negators JUST because it looks like God wanted to have their fun in making them all miserable through tragedy is dfskdfsjfjsfs (I mean, Fuuko lost her parents, for starters, but at some point when reading vol 6 it kicked me that Rip's negator abilities awaken when he was trying to cure Latla's sister... and the fact he was a DOCTOR is like... FUCK? Un Anno is also tragic in the whole horizon of how he... became a ghost and now that he lost his pen artifact as a way to communicate with the world is also *want to eat my fist*)

With this train of thoughts, I wonder how Victor got his immortal abilities. It is implied that he has lived many loops, and millions and millions of years (according to him)... Andy, being his alter ego, probably became a thing of the (up until that moment) recent loop, with his earliest memory starting in 1865? That's somewhat unclear to me. The book made from his memories is gigantic (as shown during the whole Autumn fight), but I think that might be because, at the end of the day, it's also Victor's.

I like Shen, and like how this Summer arc fleshed out his character. Also, Feng is a son of a bitch. Also, also, Mui getting that upgrade at the cost of Shen's death is tragic to say the least (all of these characters are tragic OTL... but it's a good thing that Shen's Untruth abilities passed to Mui, from all people in the Earth...) buuuuut, on the other hand, I love the ShenMui pairing? I like how she basically confesses to him her love despite... everything that happened in that fight with Feng, buuut also... the fact that ShenMui seems to come now in a package of two is NICE, I guess? lol.

Shen can be a little shit (as a treat), but that's also what I kinda love of his character, lol. He has that Son Goku (DB) or Kamui (Gintama) kind of energy. I wouldn't doubt Tozuka had a little bit of Goku on mind when making Shen, however (although you could say that his artifacts are more legendary-status from Journey to the West... let's be real here, lol. DB has such an impact in everyone that it's also kind of obvious that Kamui was somewhat based on Goku's will to fight people from all over the universe - Shen is more "grounded on Earth" given the circumstances of Undelu... but that's also an in-universe thing to blame on Feng :/).

In fact, I love how... love is shown here as a very important concept? It doesn't look like it, but it's a huge motivation in these characters' lives. Like, Victor's and Juiz' feelings are mutual and I felt my heart going all "doki doki" when he proclaimed that the only reason he is/was against the (that loop's?) whole ordeal of fighting God on Union's own terms was because he was growing tired of seeing the woman he loved to fail on this every single time (and Juiz wants to make and see him smile for her). It was love that kept motivating Shen to keep living 'normal' and not being obssessed with his revenge and being the "most powerful being in Earth". It's also a huge factor for Fuuko to release her Unluck abilities, as well.

It's also why I think God wants to make every negator miserable. It's basic isolation what they give them once their abilities switch on and make their lives so freaking miserable to the extremes of losing hope in the future.

(Trying to get used to the English terms and phrases used for some stuff here because the physical edition I'm getting in Spanish uses others, and it was the first and main one I am following; I woooould try and read it in Spanish as Manga Plus also offers it in Spanish... but they aren't doing the whole "read all of the simulpub series' chapters once, for free" campaign and LUCKILY, I don't have to be all "wait a whole year to be up to date with the current chapters because we only got to Vol 6 this past month -or get them through other TOTALLY legal outlets" ;;... another whole different story for those series that I cannot get to read due to reasons of licensing time to bother Panini MX to license Witch Watch, ig... )

I like how they all manage to destroy Summer UMA? The strategy was quite neat to see?

To think that Un Anno's future prophecies were going to be a thing just because Fuuko DIED according to those. And somewhat, got reminded of these when Shen and Mui were against Feng and all that talk about how "tragedy and hatred only gets you stronger if your loved ones died" is all making my gears grind for SOME reason, because it was a thing that Feng ALSO told Andy in that fight. Like, I also completely get that his and Fuuko's relationship wasn't too TOO deep yet, she was given an opportunity to "get him" through 10 or so years of his past memories (makes sense in context), but I wonder what would that could that foreseen possible death have made in him if this "memory time travel" thing wasn't... a thing.

There's lots of obvious subtle (and others not so subtle) details in the series that make you think once the reveal makes it too obvious (ie. oh, Rip's abilities as Unrepair are that he can make a cut or worse and they can never be repaired? OH, so that's why his right eye is covered? He was a Doctor?! SO that's... how Latla's sister died...? Shen feeling a little "lonely" that he cannot speak Chinese -I'm sorry if I don't know if it's Mandarin or Cantonese or any other dialect- to Mui once the languages were unified into English, because he has feelings for her and it was "their private/personal thing"?)

It's tragic reading and/or realizing that the four seasons get destroyed ONCE they defeat and get the cores of the Seasonal UMA. I don't know what is worse - my memories of such a season being erased to the point in making me think they do not exist... or getting a reminder that since seasons do not exist, it's possible that the end of this Earth is coming closer and closer :///. FFS, that God is such a JERK.

I just want the characters to have a nice break. I know this was sorta possible around the first few 20 or 25 chapters of the series, but time is moving soooo fast before Ragnarok (being an important event in that universe, because "end of the world" and all that shit), and I understand they cannot catch a break with the Seasonal UMA going rampant and Under being a threat. SIGH.

Fuuko is becoming one of (if not, THE) my favorite female heroes in Weekly Shonen Jump, as of 2023. It's amazing seeing her evolution and motivation to see herself equal to Andy and wow, honestly.

#kao's ramblings #i don't want to tag this to appear on the main tag for und*ead unluck but you know ;;#kao talks about undelu and she is so passionate about it #TRULY I haven't been this.... EXCITED and PASSIONATE for a WSJ series in YEARS

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project-cars-2-cheats-dj · 2 years

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AI cheats? :: Project CARS 2 Offtopic

💾 ►►► DOWNLOAD FILE 🔥🔥🔥 Home Discussions Workshop Market Broadcasts. Change language. Install Steam. Store Page. Global Achievements. Atty View Profile View Posts. I'm fairly new to the game, I'm on the 2nd race of Ginetta Junior, a track in the rain. Maybe I just don't understand how to drive, but when I drive through a puddle, I start slipping and have to fight to keep control over the car. But I see all the AI drivers just casually and smoothly speeding through every puddle. Seems they are not affected by the weather conditions, basically cheating? Showing 1 - 15 of 20 comments. Unfortunately this is common in the career mode. In some races, the AI are just better in the rain. In other races, not so much. The only solution I've heard is to turn the AI skill down for these particular races. If I understand correctly, this may not be a problem when racing with AI and not in the career mode. I wouldn't know for sure, because once I learned this about the AI in career mode, I uninstalled the game. It is fun for online play against others, but that's pretty much it. I hope others have better solutions. From what I see AI is indeed not affected by puddles, but you can also drive fast over a puddle if you hydroplane uf you dont brake, dont steer and dont use throttle, just release everything and the car will go straight there. At puddle your tyres dont have contact with the ground, meaning each tyre that get to the puddle loses grip, while all other tyres will have grip and it will cause instability. If you are braking or using throttle, you will have a massive grip difference that will cause you car to spin and if you was already turning what will happen is that 1 tyre turning will have grip while the other dont, so you have to avoid it. If it is a puddle right at a braking zone, brake earlier. If it is a puddle at a turn, avoid the puddle. If the puddle cover the entire turn, reduce more to get through it at slower speed that will allow you to turn while driving over the puddle. Sure, it is better if you can "completely avoid" the puddle, but if you can not, go as straight as possible and without braking or using throttle, return to use throttle or brake just when you have grip on your tyres, when out of the puddle. If your car is too low height, well, pray that you dont meet any puddle at too much speed. AI usually is also fairly slow at rain at least most of the times and it is like that for AI to avoid overloading your CPU with extra calculations in real time for every AI vehicle, so AI have simplified physics or else your computer would not stand to run a race with AI. Originally posted by Voltaj Tepes :. Andy View Profile View Posts. Nats View Profile View Posts. Is this the same with AMS2? Originally posted by Nats :. Have got AMS2 I can tell you it isn't the same in that game. Its got the same graphics roughly but the puddles don't make you lose control or skid off. It's got better AI as well. And custom championships although you cant pit in them yet. No career though. Last edited by Nats ; 27 Jun, am. Mahjik View Profile View Posts. They actually slow down in the rain now. There have been improvements since that post. All I know for sure is that in PC2 it seemed to me that all of the AI ran at the same pace, so you either won big or lost big, trying to get your level set to where you can compete. If I set it too high, I still have good racing at the rear of the pack. They also seem to race each other more in AMS2. PC2 was a line of cars usually. I probably misspoke. I meant to say that it seemed to me that the AI all ran at about the same pace, relative to each other. It was a line of cars that didn't really seem to seem to have any "personality" other than follow the leader. In AMS2, they seem to do things different. I see bunches of cars, I see battles going on, and it seems can't prove it , that the AI will change pace during a race. On more than one occasion, I've had them catch me after I passed them. Per page: 15 30 Date Posted: 11 Apr, pm. Posts: Discussions Rules and Guidelines. No raindrops in VR? PC2 won't launch. Analog Steering Issues. Note: This is ONLY to be used to report spam, advertising, and problematic harassment, fighting, or rude posts. All rights reserved. All trademarks are property of their respective owners in the US and other countries. Some geospatial data on this website is provided by geonames. View mobile website.

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