#anyone you like

[maikissed]

slow and messy

this is anyone you like type of shot, so enjoy. warnings: romantic c*ck sucking, duh(+18). probably poorly written, sorry.

Imagine a boy so infatuated with you that the slightest caress you grant him makes him intoxicated as he blush furiously and his beautiful eyes shine with an almost pleading expression. Moments of closeness like this makes his heart swell with adoration as he can’t get enough of you, of your smell, tender touch and gentle lips. You are so beautiful in his eyes that his chest feels heavy, overwhelmed by the fact that you’re all his, in body, soul and mind. Your loving gaze and fond smile turns him putty in your arms and it almost drives you crazy knowing that you’re the one who makes him feel like this. You love to go slow with him, thriving in these moments filled with long deep stares, delicate passionate kisses on his mouth, his neck and chest. You mark his body with traces of your fingernails as soon as you notice his breath shallowing and his eyelids closing shut, because he is so turned on and yet powerless, utterly at your mercy. You pay attention to every little reaction he grants you and realise you’ve never known you could be so enamoured with somebody.

You were kissing him, straddling his thighs, so lost in this blissful moment when you felt his hips buck up, desperate to feel you properly. You smiled into the kiss, delighted by your boyfriends eagerness and leaned back to admire the look of his swollen lips and foggy eyes.

“Be patient” you petted his cheek softly and he hummed leaning into your palm with his eyes closed.

He was so aroused, almost feverish and the sight of his flushed expression made your heart flutter with affection.

“You are so pretty” you whispered tracing the line of his lips with your fingers.

He took your hand in his gently and pecked your fingers with butterfly kisses. You could feel his hardness poking you through the clothes and almost gave in to the need to rock against him but you wanted to focus on his pleasure entirely tonight. So you slowly got off him to slide to your knees in front of him, biting your lip nervously when you spotted the look on his face. He swallowed hard, focused on your actions and his fingers that were placed on his thighs twitched slightly as if he wanted to reach out to you. But he stayed still and you shot him a cheeky smile, putting your palms on his thighs to glide them up and rest near his crotch, but not exactly in the place where he needed your attention the most. He was still watching you intensively while you started to unbutton his pants and then slowly took them off his legs. He was left only in his boxers and your mouth watered at the sight of his hardness visibly poking through the material. You’ve never actually went down on him, as your relationship was still rather fresh, but right now just the slight thought of it made your mind hazy. You took off your shirt, exposing the black little bra you were wearing and raised your hands up to tie your hair in a loose ponytail. Your boyfriend smiled at you lazily then. You rested your hands on his knees and leaned down, maintaining the eye contact all the while. He whimpered the moment you placed a hot open-mouthed kiss on his still clothed dick and the sound turned you on even more.

“Do you want me to suck you off, baby?” you asked sweetly and noticed a slight twitch of his member.

He thrown his head back with a chuckle, extremely weakened by your never-ending teasing and you put your palm on his dick to stroke him gently. He jolted, chasing your touch.

“Have you ever fantasised about it?” you murmured observing his little reactions.

“So many times” he breathed looking down at you.

You bit your lower lip excited by his confession and then grabbed the elastic of his boxers to finally free him fully. He lifted his hips up so you could take the garment off easily. You licked your lips at the sight of his erection and he blushed slightly, patiently waiting for your next move. He looked so sweet and innocent, looking at you with those big begging eyes, it made your heart ache. You placed his cock in a light grip of your little hand and bend down to peck the tip with a kiss and heard him intake a sharp breath. The muscles of his stomach tensed visibly when you licked a long stripe from the bottom to top and the moment you took him inside your warm mouth fully, he grabbed the back of your head with his hand gently, running his long fingers through your hair. You hollowed your cheeks working him slowly and dared to look up to spot him still watching you through heavy lids.

“You look beautiful” he breathed, his voice weak and raspy “You’re so good, baby”

His praise encouraged you more and you went back to play with the tip of his cock again, sucking it a bit harsher and he jumped up slightly as a low moan escaped his lips. You hummed closing your eyes and then leaned back to collect more saliva in your mouth to spit on his cock before putting it in your mouth again. The sight of this filthy act elicited a low grunt from him as he thrown his head back, completely lost in the pleasure. You sped up your movements, working the base with your wet, spit covered palm. You relaxed your throat to be able to take more of him inside your mouth and focused on steady breathing through the nose. You felt the tip hitting the back of your throat and gagged slightly, gripping his thighs. The whole act was getting messier by each second and you could tell he was close to reach the climax. His sounds were getting louder, his breathing more erratic and you moaned tasting the precum on your tongue. Shortly after you felt the twitch of his cock and he came inside your mouth abruptly, making you squeeze your eyes shut, his grip on your hair tightened. You leaned back, making sure that he’s watching you swallowing his seed. A few drops went down your chin so you used your fingers to gather it and lick the digits clean. He sighed absolutely enraptured by your messy appearance, his mouth slightly ajar, panting as if he put in a full match on the pitch. You rose up to lean on the couch with your knees on either sides of his thighs and bend down placing his face in your hands.

“I’m not done with you yet” you purred roaming his neck with your fingers.

He grinned sleepily with his eyes closed and you leaned in to kiss him on the lips sweetly.

#anyone you like #anyone you like imagine #football imagine #richarlison smut #mbappe smut #erling haaland smut #joao felix imagine #mbappe imagine #mbappe x reader #richarlison x reader #bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagine #trent alexander arnold imagine #mason mount imagine #and the rest of them tehe

[footballerimaginess]

hi could just request an anyone you like? :) maybe something along the lines of her boyfriend scores his first goal for his team and afterwards they celebrate at home?? it doesn't have to be exactly that but something similar would be great! thank you <33

This has been in my ask box for ages, enjoy! I don't usually write long fics in this type of way but thought it would be good x Word Count: 385 Standing in the stands, with your football shirt on with his name on the back of it. Feeling like his biggest fan as you watched him walk out onto the pitch.

The game was fully underway, you stood watching.

Being in the stands with the fans was the best way to experience it alongside his friends and family who were here to see one of his games. He got the ball at the centre circle, running past everyone who got in his way. Ducking and diving as fast as he could. Making the hair on the back of your neck as you watched what he did best, you gasp as he shot from just outside the penalty box. Standing up as soon as the ball left his foot, knowing exactly where he had placed that ball as you watched it hit the right hand corner net as you watched the net bulge. "yessssssss" you jumped up and down screaming as you felt incredibly proud as you saw all his team mates celebrating with him as he scored his first goal. The final whistle blew as the game finished 1-0 with his goal being the decider, you ran down to the car park to go and see him. "I am so freaking proud of you, I cannot believe you" you squeezed him so tightly as you threw your arms around him. "Hey, I need to breathe just a little" you smirked, pulling yourself away from him. "Sorry, I am just so proud of you" you muttered as you cuddled him gently this time as you went to the car. "That was such a good goal" you grinned. "Aww thank you, I was so impressed with myself to be honest" he smirked. "Shall we just relax or shall we go out for dinner?" you asked him. "Food at home, I am so tired" he yawned. "That sounds perfect, think you deserve it baby" you whispered as you drove home. "As long as you don't mind being stuck with me all evening" you laughed. "Why would I ever complain when I am with you" you laughed with a smile on your face. "Course, right let's get inside and order food" he grinned as you headed inside to spend the rest of the evening together after an eventful day.

#anyone you like imagine #anyone you like blurb #football imagines #football imagine #football x reader #anyone you like #football one shots #football one shot #futbol imagines #futbol imagine

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

#talk tag #IT KILLS ME. REIGEN IS NOT MOB'S DAD. HE HAS A DAD. INGO IS NOT AKARI'S DAD. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN ANYONE HEAR ME #(not even necessarily to say that ingo is in his late 20s but still) #(even if he was a 30-40-50 year old no matter how old he is no fucking teenager is gonna call some guy they met as a 15 year old ''dad'') #GAI IS NOT A FATHER FIGURE TO ROCK LEE HE WAS LIKE 13 WHEN HE WAS BORN! PLEASE!!!!!!!! #one time i saw that a ​person wrote a fic where mario was like a father figure to luigi. #they are TWIN BROTHERS. #not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this. #just horrible #also sometimes someone is just An Older Friend like no familial relationship just a friend or acquaintance who is a lot older than you

[echo-stimmingrose]

I'm just gonna.... Leave these here....

Also, their caption

#also anyone spoiling Percy Jackson for casual show watchers in the comments of videos like this- im coming for you. let them be. #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo spoilers #pjo tv spoilers #pjo tv show #clarrise la rue #luke castellan #percy jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood

[shkspr]

[guy who doesnt do literally anything voice] there just aint enough hours in the day to get everything done that needs to be done am i right

#i wanna be very clear im the guy #im not making fun of anyone but myself and if youre also like this then i support you in that #hof

[zytes]

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

#misc #I encourage anyone dyslexic to try rotating him in your mind. I can’t do that; which is why I’m asking you to. #also: a bunch of tags are surprised this isn’t ‘shopped #it’s the lighting. backlit by the sun (which is diffused through the water) but also forelit artificially #the artificial light - a flash pack or something - casts a hard shadow under the creatures arm #which normally wouldn’t be possible if backlit by the SUN; you’d see a less-hard/more-fragmented shadow above water #as light sources ‘compete’ in a sense - and since there aren’t any light sources which can outshine the literal sun #it looks a bit weird when the darkest shadow is being cast from any other origin point - which is what’s essentially happening here #I don’t know the mechanics of how light travels through water; but I know the effect is substantial even with relatively short distances #also: it’s been balanced and color corrected by the author of the photo - who made deliberate choices to bring out the full potential #so it’s not like it’s a fresh and untouched export #but the kind of ‘tacked on’ appearance of the creature is a result of the lighting conditions within the image

[mellotronmkll]

This is so awesome

#The article makes it kinda sound like it's just for his sons but he's been obsessed with trains forever himself #Like Phil we know it's for you #psa to anyone coming here now this has notes yes this is from an old article and I know this already #It's from 2008 he's not releasing anything anytime soon I know

[lastoneout]

Seein' too many Twitter refugees asking if they'll get in trouble for saying "kill yourself" to people and while no, you're not gonna get nuked from orbit, that is maybe something you just shouldn't be doing in general perhaps?? Maybe telling people to kill themselves is bad actually?? Some of y'all are wild, why is the first thing you can think to ask on a new platform if you can send one of the worst kinds of harassment to people?? Grow tf up and learn how to use the block button. It'll do wonders for your mood, trust me.

#this is the real cringe behavior #also you'll get reported if you do this it's actually against the rules #why do you want to do that?? #I've never felt the need to say that to anyone ever #is there a joke I'm missing out on like wtf is wrong with you #twitter #twitterpocalypse #suicide mention #ask to tag

[greykolla-art]

Alastor: “Now, let’s talk about literally anything else please!”

Me: “Good! Cause I don’t know where you went so I can’t go further with this!😂”

#grey art #hazbin hotel comic #hazbin hotel #comic #radiorose #hazbin rosie #Rosie #alastor #yay gothic pastels! #love and light to all the people who like doing enemies to lovers with lucifer and al but… #I personally think he responds better when you’re genuinely nice to him 😅 #I don’t know I’m not here to fight anyone #you want soft comics or not? #*kisses you softly on the forehead*💕 #queer platonic relationship

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

#Also I'm saying this as someone who actually watched quite a few of Somerton's videos #And noticed those patterns and stopped watching bc I recognised them from here #and had already learned to unlearn them after being so exposed to them here #And tbh I think anyone who hasn't had the luck or made the conscious choice to seek out ppl who pushed against those narratives #Would absolutely have fallen for this man's bullshit. Like let's not kid ourselves we see takes like this every day on this hellsite #2014 me would have. For sure. #This is next to the plagiarism issue which as Harris points out is an Internet wide issue and this includes tumblr #James Somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #This brought to you by a conversation with my wife yesterday #So many ppl on here don't deserve to meme or be this self absolvingly critical of this man #The call is coming from inside the house #The man has a tumblr it would legit not surprise me if some of the things he supposedly made up himself he did actually get from somewhere #And that somewhere was a tumblr post

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this. #but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt. #i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

[footballerimaginess]

Anyone You Like - Holiday

not my gif, credit to @lena-casagrande​  (This is what this fic is based off)

request: for the anyone you like maybe going on holiday together or something?? Word Count: 365 As soon as you stepped off of the plane, you felt the heat hit you which immediately made you smile.  Making your way to the villa, with the sun beating down on the windows as you admired the incredible views.

“Wow” you whispered as you climbed out of the car, taking your suitcases into the villa as you walked on the decking, taking a slow step each time as you gasped at something new each time.  The luscious bright blue skies with no clouds in the sky whatsoever, the water was crystal clear and you just couldn’t wait to step right in it. “I feel like the luckiest girl ever to be here, I have dreamt of coming here for the longest time. I am happy” you whispered as you cuddled onto him as you felt his slightly sweaty shirt as the temperature was starting to soar.  “Me too, let’s get ready so we can explore and get in the water” he smiled as you changed into your brand new bikini set which was floral and extra pretty.  The pair of you walked out of the glass door as you climbed down the small ladder slowly, trying your best not to fall.  “I can’t get over this” you mumbled as you sat on the ladder step and just took in the breath taking water as you saw the fish swimming at the bottom as you pointed it out.  “Take some pretty photos please” you smiled as you passed him your phone much to his disappointment as you posed for some photos taking in the beautiful Maldives heat on your back.  “I am in love with this place” you muttered to yourself as you took a seat on the sun lounger whilst your husband was laying around.  It was perfect, the views were to die for and the company was just too perfect as well.  As you sat and read your book, you glanced over your shoulder as you saw him watching something in the water.  You moved over from your sun longer and watched as the fish and turtles swam past.  “Magical” you laughed as you could see how excited he was for this moment.  Taglist: @footballffbarbiex​ @percervall​ @football-and-fanfics​ @footballxixstars​ @odegaardsreds​  Tell me who you thought of when reading this fic x  

#anyone you like imagine #anyone you like #football imagine #football imagines #football one shot #football one shots #futbol imagines #futbol imagine #football x reader

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

#star trek #Vulcans #Humans #not based on a specific thing #but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’ #who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field? #like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq #and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first #would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate #and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for #and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance #the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times #they were just dicks #and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it. #it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible #you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier #but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks. #that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on #and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post #but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks #and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be #replaced #hated that couple #if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us #(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀) #liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people #that no one else wanted to be friends with #I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone #this got long sorry 😭

[cock-holliday]

Sometimes wild attraction shit happens when you learn to separate masc/fem from man/woman. I’ve known queer women find the femininity in a man attractive. I’ve known gay men get so hot and bothered by the masculinity of a woman.

There was once a guy who was not really my type but then he did drag and was suddenly wildly attractive to me. And since I’m bisexual it doesn’t give me a crisis when someone is suddenly hot to me in an unconventional way. I used to think this was particularly a bi experience.

Then I’ve met plenty of gay men and lesbians who are also chill about that sort of thing. Sometimes life is like that “oops made out with a twink in Brighton who turned out to be a lesbian who thought I was a lesbian” and sometimes it’s like “hey, I’m not normally into men but this guy has got something hot going on.”

#and this of course leaves out androgyny in all its formss #or feminine masculinity and masculine feminity and so on #gender and sexuality are weird #don’t get too hung up on it #you don’t HAVE to like anyone #someone liking you doesnt mean you have to return it! #AND two people who you don’t think should fit together fitting together doesn’t affect you literally at all #LJsm

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!! #men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....