Tumgik
#because i get really nervous and worried people will just never like it
Note
A head cannon where Grayson gets kidnapped
of course! i'll do it in a similar format as my 'if *insert name* died' posts because i think it makes more sense. wrote this late at night so may be shitty. hope you like them <3.
avery
she'd be one of the people in charge of finding him. she'd be running around looking for clues. she'd think a missing toothbrush was a clue bc she'd be so desperate.
she'd try to keep xander sane because he'd be freaking out in the corner. she'd be patting his head telling him his brother wasn't being forced into selling his suits (his pride and joy) (yes, xander thinks this would happen)
she'd be so anxious she's start biting her nails until they bleed. at the end of the day, she'd end up with bandages around her hands bc of it.
she'd be really impatient with everybody. if they didn't work fast enough for her taste, she's start screaming at them to go faster.
jameson
he'd be sad but find it hilarious at the same time bc big old grayson who never makes mistakes got kidnapped
he'd think of it as a game to distract himself from the fact that his brother might be dead in a ditch.
he'd secretly be crying with xander in the corner (he wouldn't let anyone know though)
when they find the guy who kidnapped grayson, he gives him a good beating before they take him to jail. he beats him up so bad, he almost ends up have to pay a fine.
xander
like i said, he'd be crying in the corner thinking of the worst case scenario. he'd be imagining grayson being hung by his balls and would start crying even more.
he'd start saying the craziest shit. the others would try to find clues as to where he is, and xander would just be like what if they're shaving his beautiful hair off to create a rug.
he'd be organizing his funeral before even finding grayson. he'd be crying asking everyone what flowers they think grayson would like best at his funeral.
when they finally find grayson, he'd act like he didn't go through the 5 stages of grief. he'd pretend to be the one who was least affected by all of it.
nash
he'd be the first one in the car heading off to look for him. he wouldn't give a damn about clues.
he'd have to lock himself in a room to have a mini panic attack cause he doesn't want to let anyone see
he'd be taking care of everyone. xander would be hyperventilating in the corner and he'd go sit next to him telling him to breathe with him. gigi would end up fainting and he'd end up splashing water on her etc.
when they finally find grayson, he'd wrestle his ass cause we know damn well grayson got himself kidnapped in someone else's pace.
alisa
she'd be the one who's most sane. she would tell everyone to calm down and look at the situation from another angle or smth like that
she'd be the one doing all the important calls and sending the emails.
at the same time, she'd be really worried so she's be rushing the police and investigators to go quicker.
she'd also be making sure everyone ate and drank water to make sure no one ended up fainting or smth (gigi still ended up fainting though)
libby
she'd bake cupcakes for everyone to cheer them up.
she'd be holding avery or nash in her arms trying to get them to calm down (nash might not seem like he's freaking out, but he is)
alisa would be so rough with the police officers and investigators that libby would rush in apologizing for alisa's behavior.
max
she's trying to comfort xander but is failing miserably at it because he's wailing like a 2 year old.
she'd be having a midlife crisis wondering how the hell they even got into this situation
she'd actually swear (not her fake swear words) and people would all turn around to look at her simultaneously as if she'd just announced she was pregnant with the rock's baby
gigi
like i said, she would most definitely faint. she's get so nervous, she'd start having a panic attack, and then she'd faint.
she'd basically be like xander. she'd come up with the worse case scenarios in her head, but those worst case scenarios actually ended up being quite funny (like grayson being forced to walk around looking like elmo)
she'd be relying on coffee to keep her alive. by the end of the day, she'd have had like 20 cups of coffee.
when they finally found grayson, she'd punish him by buying him a box full of cats.
savannah
she'd pretend like the whole situation wasn't affecting her but it was.
she'd be panicking, cursing grayson out because gigi passed out (she won't admit it but she felt bad cursing him out bc she loves him)
she'd be looking at the others thinking about how crazy they are. she'd be texting her mom exasperated asking her how she even got into this situation
when they finally find grayson, she smacks his head and then gives him a very quick mini kiss on the cheek bc she's relieved to see him
that's all! hope you like them. i have a ton of other head canons requests i have to work on, so these next hcs posts may be a bit rushed. i apologize if they're not as good.
40 notes · View notes
max1461 · 2 days
Text
I had a dream last night that I ran for president. In the Democratic primary I won California, Alaska, "Washington" (which was directly north of California) and another state whose name I don't remember because it doesn't actually exist, but it was east of Washington along California's northern border (you have to imagine the two of them shaped approximately like triangles, making up an approximate square directly to CA's north).
There was a brief moment when I was in the lead. I knew it wouldn't last, but I remember capitalizing on the opportunity to proudly tell my parents "I'm the front-runner in the race for president of the United States!". Again, this was supposedly the primary, but I recall the electoral map showing blue for the establishment Democrat, red for the Republican candidate (Trump I think), and yellow for me. So maybe it was the national election; I think this is just one of those dream inconsistencies.
Anyway, for whatever reason me and most of my campaign staff were down in a cave. We didn't have internet access anymore, so I was relying on my campaign manager (who was above ground) to clue me in to what was going on. We were in an upper chamber of the cave, and there had been some kind of near-disaster in a lower chamber where the fire department had to come and rescue a bunch of people who were trapped. I don't remember if any of them were part of my campaign staff. Anyway, as the establishment Democrat took the lead, I remember talking on the phone—a big, thick, 90s-style cellphone—with my campaign manager about what I should do. Should I give some sort of statement to the press about it? Should I congratulate the winner on Twitter? He said no, no, don't worry about it; everyone knows you're down in a cave and don't have service, so they can't possibly expect that.
I have no idea why we were in a cave, if it was intentional or we were stuck there. I guess we were just in a cave!
Anyway, then disaster struck! One of my staffers found a bunch of people in need of rescue in our (upper) chamber of the cave! Now, this wasn't as dire as the earlier rescue. These people were much easier to get to. They were like, sort of hanging upside-down from a horizontally suspended rope, like clothes on a clothes line, basically. I don't know how they got that way but they were in a dire state from hanging upside-down for some long. Some of my staffers insisted they could rescue the people themselves (I think they were worried that calling in the fire department again would be viewed as wasteful and damage my campaign). They managed to get some of the people down from the clothes line. I asked my campaign manager what to do (I was still on the phone with him) and he was like "no, call the fire department!". So he put me through to the fire department and I told them what was going on.
You have to understand throughout these events that I'm like, me. I have no idea how to run an electoral campaign, I'm 100% relying on my campaign manager for every cue, and I'm really nervous about figuring out the proper etiquette for everything. When I was asking him about whether I should congratulate the winner on Twitter you have to imagine it in this sort of tone. Like, first day on the job, nervous "I'm following your lead here" energy. And when I get on the phone with the fire department I'm super awkward (I've never called them before!) and as I'm explaining the situation I'm thinking like "good, good, that was normal, I sound normal to the fire department right now".
Anyway then they come down into the cave and start rescuing people. I get back on the phone with my campaign manager and he tells me confidently "look, here's what we do: on Monday you're gonna give a press conference. You'll announce that your bid for the presidency is over, congratulate the winners, and reiterate your policy positions." I don't remember what else he said about it, but basically this was the most graceful way to end the campaign and keep my political career strong. I was a popular candidate with lots of youth support and energy behind me, so it was gonna be easy to parley that into later success. Now, I didn't want a further political career—this campaign was 100% a one-off—but I agreed the press conference would be a good idea. Unfortunately that would mean I had to write a speech by Monday, which was annoying.
Anyway, the establishment Democrat won in the end, and turns out it was Obama.
Then I woke up.
39 notes · View notes
Text
we play with fire because we like the way it burns
a mob boss!Nico x nurse!fem!reader au
Movie night, ruined
Tumblr media
Warnings: blood, Luke injured, mentions of guns and gunshot wounds, some swearing and calling someone a dumbass, this is a mob au. Please tell me if I missed something
A/n: it’s here! The first installment. I hope you enjoy!
Masterlist
Word count: 1.2k
You were worried.
Luke Hughes was not known to be the most punctual, but he was never this late.
As far as you knew, this was his only plan for the night. So why hasn’t he called or texted?
It was just supposed to be a routine movie night. You, Luke, and a movie you’ve seen so many times. Tonight’s pick was Valentine’s Day since you saw New Year’s Eve around the new year, and it just made sense. To you two, anyway.
Luke was hours late. You were about to start getting ready for bed, tired of waiting on the couch. He could just apologize in the morning once you got sleep.
As you were collecting the snacks off the coffee table, there was a knock on your door.
Who was knocking on your door at this hour?
You quickly put the things in your hands back down so you could answer the door.
As Luke always insisted, you looked through the peephole. He hated that your building didn’t have a doorman, so he got you in the habit of checking the peephole.
You were not prepared to see Luke slung around the shoulders of Jack and another guy, barely able to stand up himself.
You swung the door open rapidly, ushering the three men to come inside before the neighbors started asking questions. God forbid Nancy saw anything and spread the news like wildfire.
Once you got a better look at the three, you realized Nico was the other man holding up Luke.
“What the fuck happened?!?” You practically shouted at them.
“Do you really want to know? Or do you just want to fix him?” Jack spoke up before his boss could say anything.
You rolled your eyes in a huff, but gestured to the couch. “Sit him up on the couch and make sure he doesn’t lose consciousness. Jack, get water from the kitchen. You, make sure Luke stays upright. He can’t fall asleep. Not yet.”
Jack had a nervous look on his face because you bossed around the most feared man in the city, but he rushed to get water despite not having gone that far into your apartment before.
“I’ll be right back,” you told Nico before rushing to get your primary first aid kit.
When you returned, you had to speak up and say the one thing you were dreading. “What happened and how did he get hurt?”
Nico was about to answer, but Jack spoke up from the kitchen instead. “Where the fuck are your cups and why are they this hard to find?”
Yet another eye roll from you. “Just grab a bottle from the fridge,” you yelled back.
“Dumbass,” you muttered under your breath. You loved Luke like a brother but that didn’t mean you felt the same way about his brother.
You turned back to Luke to assess the damage. Multiple cuts on his face and body. Luckily, no gunshots. You honestly weren’t sure you would be able to help if he had gotten shot.
Jack came back to the living room and set the bottle on the table and proceeded to stay out of your way while still looking out for his little brother. Their mother would kill him if she found out just how injured the baby Hughes was.
You grabbed the iodine and some cotton pads, mentally preparing to make your best friend endure more discomfort than he already was.
“Luke, I’m sorry that this is going to sting, but I need to clean your wounds,” you said gently.
Luke just grumbled, so you proceeded after telling Nico to make sure to hold Luke still.
“I’ll start with your arms and work my way to your face. Please don’t hate me for this,” you said gently, using your nurse voice reserved for telling people that something bad has happened.
Luke flinched a little once you started cleaning his wounds. It proceeded to get worse, and your patience also got progressively worse.
“Luke if you do not stop squirming, I swear to god I will duct tape you to a chair and tell your mother about your weekend in Atlantic City,” you said in a very angry tone, sick of Luke’s shit.
Nico looked slightly confused, while Luke and Jack both had looks of “oh shit” on their faces.
Jack proceeded to sit on Luke’s other side to make sure he stayed still.
“We do not need mom knowing about what happened,” Jack said as Luke nodded as best as he could.
You proceeded to finish disinfecting every wound on your best friend’s body and add antibiotic cream to each one, finishing the worse wounds with bandages and letting the smaller ones breathe.
“Luke, I’m gonna grab you one of your spare outfits for you to wear so you can sleep comfortably. Couch or guest room?” You asked him, honestly not knowing if he would make it to the guest room.
“Couch,” he mumbled.
You scurried off to grab some sweats and a shirt for Luke from his designated drawer in your room.
You tossed the clothes at Jack once you made it back to the living room, “make sure he gets into these. I’ll clean up.”
You proceeded to gather up the first said kit while Jack helped Luke change and Nico just sat, not knowing what to do.
“Do you need help cleaning up?” Nico finally spoke to you, and if you weren’t so concerned with Luke, you may have had more time to admire him.
“Uh. No. I think I’m good. I’ve dealt with worse messes,” you said, not stopping what you were doing.
You put all the supplies back and slipped into the kitchen to get yourself your own bottle of water, giving Jack time to get Luke dressed.
As you finally had a moment to breathe and think, you realized you wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Luke hurt and not do anything about it.
After some time passed, Jack called out that Luke was successfully changed.
Walking back to the living room, you spoke up. “Call me immediately the next time he or someone else gets injured. I’ve seen enough questionable injuries at the hospital to know that I am your best option to avoid police questioning. Jack, you have my number. And please, for the love of all that is holy, stop doing dumb shit.”
You barely gave Jack time to respond before you spoke up again. “Now leave so Luke can rest. I’ll give you an update in the morning.”
Nico and Jack got up from their spots on your couch and proceeded to leave, you locking the door behind him.
You turned back to Luke and were worried about how the night was going to go.
“Can I have my blanket?” He asked weakly.
“Of course,” you said as you moved to grab it from its spot in your blanket basket.
You helped Luke lay down and get comfortable with the blanket tucked around him.
“Yell for me if you need anything, my door will be open,” you said before getting up to go back to your room. “Goodnight, Luke.”
“Goodnight, y/n,” Luke said with his eyes already closed.
You got ready for bed and were finally able to lay down and relax.
So why couldn’t you stop thinking about Nico?
24 notes · View notes
ennaku-sirri-da · 11 months
Note
Hey man Yknow what I’m actually kinda curious about what the basic plot of Roseverse is ngl. I mean from what I’ve seen habit is a big ol Grumpus muppet kinda fellow(BASED AS HELL BTW) soo ermmm, lore. Plz? *Looks at you with big ol eyes*
Okay I was gonna reply to this with a whole comic but it's taking a wHILE and I don't wanna keep you waiting THAT long so. Here's an answer in text for now!!
Roseverse didnt start out as an AU. It was a bunch of loose ideas all the way back in late 2021 for an idea I was struck with like when that Greek dude with the bathtub and the gold cried EUREKA! Except, you know, instead of making a huge scientific discovery I just made a bunch of nerd shit instead. Which is SOOO Haiderrrr /lh /affectionate
The idea was " What if Habit and Kamal were childhood friends"? ( Plaintext: What if Habit and Kamal were childhood friends? ) And so I worked off that basic premise. I took Habits diary pages, analysed them, and drew and thought out what he'd be going through and looked like at the time, with Kamal as well to mutually play off of each other. I did this ALL with my very good friend @prrusten 's help, hell we didn't even mean to make something so big, we were just talking and having fun and hitting it off!
But yeah. Here we are...Almost 3 years later! And now it's become a whole AU called Roseverse, after its Flower Kid sona/insert, Rose T. Flower. But it's not actually about him HwjjskHAKSJSJ--and its branched out beyond just Habismal though TBH Gillis is still the MOST underdeveloped character in the whole thing LOL I'll think of ideas for you one day someday muscleman. It's changed a lot too. There was a phase with Mad Scientist Kamal and everything. I don't think I'll ever post everything aha! But I will surely share content while I can.
Infact one of the changes is Habit's design...! You've seen some ofthe newer refs as opposed to Grumpus looking Habit, he looks more like a marionette. I still dearly love the old design...but messy stuff just happened and I feel immensely wrong using it again for newer art now. So I needed a specific revamp to indicate change for me. I don't really wanna get into every detail but I'll make a appropriate post about it one day or like update my pinned when I'm ready and know.
Here's a little drawing for you in the meantime Sharko! An old one but I think it still carries the spirit of the whole thing:
Tumblr media
[ ID: Simple styled and digital colored art of Dr Habit and Kamal Bora from Smile For Me. It is in mostly dulled purple and pink tones. Habits hair gives a burst of rose and pink against the other tones.
He is closing his eyes and has caught Kamal in a hug from behind, leaning into his head. He looks worried. Kamal looks back at him, visibly tired, but there is a spark in his eye. Here his hair is long and falling down.
Whitish-purple text reads ‘’We’re in this together.’’ Then more transparent, ‘’Not Alone’’ and finally in bold clear text, ‘’Dont forget.’’ end ID]
And a song I more newly associate with Roseverse vibes...
youtube
[Thumbnail ID: A screencap from the anime Clannad. A man kneels on the ground to tightly clutch a little girl who hugs back. The background is sheer white snow. End ID]
[ VD: The music sounds melancholic, with twinkling noises throughout, and a slowly played track with echoing ambience. End VD ]
-
Morning edit: Aw Sharko.. I'm sorry this happened right after I told you about it but I've decided Roseverse will be shutting down and I shall post no further content of it for the time being. I will still continue like, using this blog for S4M stuff and make fanart in the Canon style sometime later but yeah man... :") (teary smile emote)
6 notes · View notes
seilon · 8 months
Text
got another job interview tomorrow. pray 4 me
#it was originally for a busser or server job at a cocktail bar in a luxury hotel but the manager on the phone seemed like she wanted to#interview me for the position of host so. yeah#I’m a little intimidated by that role because I am not the most social person on earth to say the least but. I may be able to get used to it#and I will admit. I am kind of motivated by the pay and tips from being a host. cause holy hell it’s 18 bucks an hour plus tips#and that’s plus tips at a 4 star hotel. where the menu is pretty pricy and the people coming there Well Off.#I didn’t really consider that before but hhhhhhh……………that sure is enticing#hoo boy but anyway. a little nervous about this interview cause I’ve never done a host or server job before#but my conversation with the manager over the phone seemed to go pretty well i think so hey#kibumblabs#oh yeah I also cut my hair short last minute and i can’t tell if that was a horrible idea or not yet#it’s not nearly as finished as I’d want it to be but. here we are I guess#I havent legit cut my own hair (let alone this Much of it) in like. a couple years now I think#I think it looks fine but I’m just hoping I don’t regret it#I know it’ll grow out again eventually but idk#I did this kinda impulsively because of the job interview tomorrow. like I was kinda worried for such a nice place they’d be a little#picky with their appearance preferences and like. I didn’t want it to look like my hair was overgrown and unstyled like it was + most of#the bleached parts are cut off now so it looks a little more sophisticated I guess#but also I’ve been getting a little dysphoric lately because I haven’t been passing despite being almost 2 years on t and I think my hair#being longish wasn’t helping#now you can see my jawline and the haircut is more traditionally masculine and etc so. praying I am not called ma’am or anything at the#store or whatever anymore.
8 notes · View notes
monster-noises · 2 months
Text
I love second hand book shops, I got to them frequently and always leave with Something and have a good time just peakin around
But i gotta say
It's one of the Worst spots for me in terms of imposter syndrome
I feel like everyone's uneasey with my presence as though i'm a stranger who just stumbled into their inner sanctum and they're.. they're gunna let me stay but they're gunna be weirded out the whole time and breath a sigh of relief when the Strange Unwelcome Freak Leaves
It also happens at record shops and sometimes at small antique shops or cons+festivals
Just this immediate foreboding of being Angrily Tolerated in a Space I Don't Belong
#monster noises#it's Incalculably stupid because 1) it's a store. anyone can go in there.#and 2) in all those locations... I do beling there!!!!!!!! not even in the sense of point 1 where it's a retail location but like!!!!#Book shops Record shops Antique malls Cons... are all like super 100% right up my alley nerd shit these Should be like '''''my people'''''''#which is i think a strong contributing factor to this pervasive feeling like#there's an underlying current of not just being in there to Shop but that i want the other people there to Like Me? I guess?#in our limited interaction?#i want them to see that i'm One Of Them and it makes me nervous#because whenever i am trying to be a Part of something i Immediately feel like some kind of isolated hollow fraud#like i'm worried that i not only Look like a poser#but that i Am#secretly#a Poser#so secretly that I don't even relaiE i'm a poser#it probably doesn't help that i also always have The most off-kilter interactions with the staff in these scenerios#it's never anything truly embarassing#but it's always like i try to be as nice as possible but their reaction is never what i expect#and it throws me off#it's a hard thing to pin down in words but like.. it feels like they are more than anything just Waiting for me to leave#if not from the get-go then from the moment i open my mouth to answer a question#and like idk !!! i'm trying so hard to be open and friendly and not just use canned response but also not be Too weird or too loud#and be engaged in conversation but it never works!#it's like i ooze some deeply unpleasant vibe and it turns everyone off me immediately when i enter their space#i'll see other customers having lovely conversations with staff and stuff and then when it's me it's like Cold#truly it does nothing for my self esteem#not everyone has yo or is going to like me but i really don't think it's too big an ask to not be scrutinized by store staff Constantly ;<;
3 notes · View notes
hecckyeah · 11 months
Text
why do some people just have such an Effect on you
#okay slight ramble ahead. you have been warned#so at the place i work there's a training we have to do every year for certification#which isn't that bad because it's outside and it's fun#but the first year i was super nervous about it and worried i wouldn't do well#so it was hard to focus on much except just getting through it and passing#but the second time i was more relaxed and just able to enjoy being outside and talking with my coworkers#AND#ugh#so the guy who was there certifying us. he was around last year and me being me. my traitorous brain decided to develop the WORST crush.#in just the one day he was here#and so of course i didn't see him for a year#and mostly forgot about it#but then he came back this week#and when i tell you my traitorous brain was at it AGAIN#but it's just like. he's probably way too old for me. waY out of my league. i might never see him again. completely unreasonable#and that's fine.#i'm okay with just having a crush from a distance because it happens pretty often and most of the time it's unrealistic like now#but you know those people that just leave such a lasting impression#that just make you take a step back and go woah. THAT is a quality person who is really good at their job and really qualified and just.#of a higher caliber. if you will. which is a weird way to put it but i'm not sure how else to#like just a very admirable character#so anyways#if you've gotten this far i am so sorry. this is a side of me i don't normally display lol#it's just. i guess my standards are so high for a potential future partner that i start romanticizing the Most Unrealistic scenarios#which is probably an awful habit to have#so i should probably shut up now#just needed rant for a second#so thanks <3#katie's sleep deprived ramblings#(very literally this time)
3 notes · View notes
Text
.
#I’ve recently gotten a pretty influx of new followers so hi#but also I’m so incredibly nervous#I’ve never had that on anything before#I’m trying to just imagine it’s not there and just not think about it#and like I know I’m fairly anonymous on here so no one will know who I am#but like that fear of being judged and hated for my sexuality has jumped through the roof#because like first and foremost I made this account when I had a crush on a lady who didn’t reciprocate my feelings#so I wanted a place to vent#and I ended up venting a lot on here which I find helpful since I don’t feel like I really have people in my life I can talk to#and I wanted to share photos and quotes and reviews of lesbian stuff#but I used to get like 100 notes at most#and even then I was like wow that’s massive 100 people like this!#it made me want to share more#but I guess my head is just getting worried now that people are going to say what’s been said to me in the past#and they are going to say I’m a bad person for being a lesbian or just say mean stuff to me#or like I’ll get dragged into discourse#honestly that scares me a lot I don’t want to be dragged into discourse#and I know likes it’s my own fault I made this account and chose to put stuff up here so I don’t really have any right to complain#but I still want a place to vent and I still want to share lots of cool oop or hard to find things so everyone can enjoy them too#but I guess I’m also anxious about it. because that’s a lot of people#and for someone who is on the dsp and only really leaves the house for appointments most of the time#like only rarely leaving it for other reasons like enjoyment#that’s pretty daunting#I am definitely glad I don’t have a photo of my face on here or my name because that would overwhelm me too much
10 notes · View notes
probablyjustamagpie · 2 years
Text
on one hand the kindness of Internet strangers is really helpful and the museum post is helping a lot with getting ready for college and reducing my stress. on the otherhand my best friend of 8 years hasn’t responded to my texts in days and I’m not sure if he’s ignoring them or not getting them and it’s making me really anxious :/
5 notes · View notes
astroellipse · 2 years
Text
Tired tag vent 😞
#collecting my thoughts#seriously though why cant i do a read more on mobile#ah whatever. the informality of tags feels better for this. i guess.#just. anxious. i was chill all day everything was fine granted i was tired as hell cause i alept like shit#and now all my anxieties are hitting me! suddenly heart palpatations! yayy!!!#maybe i should not have watched better call saul before bed i shoulda done aomething more chill#granted i was getting j ro that funk where i didnt want to do anything but k couldnt aleep yet#going to implode head going to turn j to a great big fireball#theres just a lot all at once but its not even really that much im just a nervous wreck#i start school soon. never filed my fafsa for some godforsaken reason. hopefully i can focus through that#the place i replied to stopped replying abruptly while trying to digure out skmethjn with their website#had a weirsly atreasful time dealing with healthcare stuff#ambient worry about self image and my current situation and the future#aocial worries that i cant even vent about anymore because relevant people follow me now#not that thats a bad thing that's a net positive love havin friends#sparking with nonsense i need to ramble about but i cant cause its all just non issues and pity party stuff and hrg#the one thjng ill grant myself is oh my god maybe entering that relationship before was a bad idea now i know what it feels like#to be in love and i want that again so so bad#exploding again#i need to shower someone with love and affection jfc#maybe thisll pass or get less with time hopefully it does#but man its bad#as part of my weird sleep nonsense dreams last night there was one where i was in a relationship with fucking JERMA.#and it wasnt a dirty dream or anything we were just a tender couple talking about mundane shit and i rest my head on his shoulder and#ok now im getti g sodetracked because why the FUCK was it JERMA?? it coulda been my actual crush! that woulda made sense!!#hes not even my type!!!!!! god. anyways back to my crippling anxiety remembering that dream lightened my mood a little at least#heartrate atill funky but less overthinking#anyways going to pass out now its 1 and ive been exhausted all day that was enough no sense rambling#good night reader
2 notes · View notes
inga-don-studio · 2 years
Text
Oh, so we’re at that mid-tier stage of the sleep deprivation loopiness, eh? The ‘Do All the Things’ stage because I think I suddenly feel great, when All the Things involve using power tools my drunk-tired butt shouldn’t even look at right now.
#I was too nervous about today’s apartment inspection to sleep last night#Not that I had anything to worry about since I take good care of the apartment#It was more because I know how shaken I get when strangers compromise my little personal space- and my anxiety was having a field day#Jokes on my anxiety though-#both the maintenance guy & the apartment manager spent more time geeking out over my weird shit than inspecting#It was actually really sweet though?! The manager started going on about how much she loves the Haunted Mansion too & the maintenance guy-#-wanted to know what all my bootlegs were? And then the manager said she didn’t want to leave? Like bro? 🥹#So this was the first time I haven’t felt violated or gone into flight mode despite having unfamiliar people in my space?#Probably won’t happen again but it was genuinely nice#But uh now that that’s over and the lack of sleep is catching up my brain’s starting to play it’s little tricks#Worse than the mild hallucinations is the impulse to do All The Things to stay awake when I know All The Things involve tools I shouldn’t-#-use when this tired#But I want to get working on the Moon mask & try out the idea I have for making his face spin#And I’m starting to feel the pressure of having the headcrab mask done in time for Midsummer Scream in a month#Too many stabby burny potentially toxic things that my drunk-tired butt can’t be trusted with rn#I’ve never handled a total lack of sleep well so I just need to choose something simple & safe & go to bed early#And maybe order some Pandas because I can tell my energy crash is going to be a doozy & fixing dinner won’t be in the cards#Oh gawd this is long sorry#🎃 cryptid sighting
2 notes · View notes
learn-and-accept · 3 months
Text
.
#so yesterday I learned that i got invited to my partner's ex's baby shower and that shit feels so fucking messy#it is a bit weird they're still friends with their ex but they started out as friends and they're really close to her family so i get it#and they all know about me and her ex's mom even invited me on a ski trip so i feel really welcomed but it definitely feels messy#although im really glad that wasnt the first time i meet a bunch of people close to my partner because that shit seems overwhelming as fuck#i know it's gonna happen and i do want it to happen but fuck that shit is so scary#ive never had to do the whole meet your partner's family/loved ones before and i am nervous as fuck#though my girlfriend ended up meeting my mom and step dad like 2 months into dating so i guess meeting her people 4 months in is pretty fair#idk i think im just nervous im gonna fuck something up or they're gonna hate me#and then there's that added layer of it being their ex and her family#but im very secure in my relationship and i know there's nothing going on between them anymore and im not even worried about#it just feels weird to meet the person your partner loved before you and be worried about their opinion of you#because it does matter to me#i want them all to like to me or at the very least not dislike me#and honestly i think the only part that really concerns me is that the person who's basically a second mom to my partner is also her exs mom#like im essentially replacing her daughter#and i know that's probably not fair or even how she thinks of me and it's probably just my anxiety because she seems like a wonderful person#but it feels like i already have a strike against me#idk i think im just hormonal and insecure and tired and im definitely making this into something it shouldn't be#im just terrified of fucking this up because i love & care about my girlfriend so fucking much & i dont want the people she loves to hate me#i dont ever want to put her in a position where they feel like they have to choose between me and her found family#anyway this ended up spiraling lol#but honestly my relationship is going really well and im very happy with my incredible partner and she's truly my favorite person#they are so kind and considerate and funny and smart and truly one of the best people ive ever met#i feel so safe and loved and i am so happy to have her in my life#im just so used to people leaving me and having all the good things in my life end up crashing and burning down around me#and im so scared that's gonna happen#and honestly it might#i just really hope it doesn't because my life is so so so much better with them in it#personal
0 notes
brainfullofbees · 10 months
Text
.
#i'm gonna be honest. i don't know if my mom remembers that i'm nonbinary#and i mean. i never told her that my pronouns are they/them instead of she/they now#but. idk. hearing her refer to me as she all the time when she should know i'm not just that kinda hurts#and she's very chill about things and accepting of me but i'm still so nervous to come out to her again#cause last time she was like#''please don't change your name'' because it's her favorite name and she always wanted to name her kid that#and at the time i had no desire really to change my name#but then my relationship with my name got incredibly complicated#and now i'm worried she'd be so upset#idk#why is this so scary and complicated#why can't this just not be an issue#i just. i don't want to deal with this anymore#i just want to be bee and i want people to use my pronouns and i want it all to be cool and fine and nobody gets upset with me#.......i don't even know what i'm gonna do when i move tbh#like. it's so weird to think that i'll be allowed to introduce myself to new people as bee? and that's what they'll know me as?#and i won't have to worry about those people possibly telling my parents before i'm ready?#and i don't even need to tell them my birth name?? like there are friends of friends who have only ever known me as bee#and that's so wild to think about!! i have always been bee to them and they don't need to know any different!!#but what about work? will i be allowed to be bee there? will i be allowed to be bee even if my legal name is something else?#this is so. unnecessarily complicated#want. to scream#sometimes i have to sit here and repeat ''i am bee. my name is bee.'' out loud to myself#because i rarely get to hear my name#and i hate it. please just let me be bee
1 note · View note
ceilidho · 4 months
Text
prompt: Ghost only takes you half-seriously when you say you want to see other people. He has just the man in mind. tags: dubcon; threesome; anal (2.5k)
-
He doesn’t so much as twitch when you stumble over your words in an effort to get it out.
“I don’t think this is working,” you say, hands clenched into trembling fists at your sides. “I think we should start seeing other people.”
The only bit of it that Ghost really pays attention to is the fact that you decided to make this little announcement while he’s in the middle of taking apart and cleaning his gun at the kitchen table. His little spitfire girl. Not a lick of fear in you, just a fistful of attitude and snark. The attitude’s ensconced now in your trepidation, a bit smothered under it, nervousness a clear trill in your voice, making it warble, but it shows itself in the downward slant of your brows. Delightful girl.
“That right?” he grunts, jamming the lubricated cotton mop into the bore of the gun. You flinch at the sudden movement, nervous eyes trained on his hands. Ghost makes a note to apologize with his mouth later on.
“Yes,” you croak, then cough to clear your throat. “I’ve, um…I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I think it’ll be better for—for both of us. It’s just…it’s not working out.”
The cigarette dangling from between his lips stinks up the room. Poor girl, he thinks pityingly when you scrunch up your nose and eye it resentfully. Always trying to get him to quit. It’s just shit luck for you that he’s never been good at quitting things, at letting anything go. Everything he’s ever lived through clings to his skin like smoke. 
He ashes it out in the little turquoise ceramic pot on the table, a trinket he’d once picked up in Tala'a Kebira years ago while in Morocco on some other business. You look marginally less irked with the cig put out, but that just means that more of his attention can focus squarely on you, which leaves you a bit wide-eyed under his stare.
“For a while, hm?” Ghost asks. It comes out teasingly, if only to him. The lilt in his voice is a tricky one to catch.
You nod; the note must have slipped through your hands like smoke. “There’s a girl I found online that’s studying abroad right now. Offered to sublet me her room while I look for a place. I thought maybe, um…maybe tomorrow I’d go.”
“Don’t worry about all of that,” he says, already dismissing the conversation from his mind. “Won’t be back for another week anyway—no reason for you to run off if I’m not even around.”
“Oh.” You shift from side to side, thinking it over. “I guess. How long will you be gone?”
“A week. Two weeks tops.” Plenty of time for him to sort out this mess. Figure out what exactly caused you to get all jumpy and eager to try out other people. 
He smiles internally. Little bird probably just can’t stand how often he’s away, poor thing. It’d be enough to make any girl upset—the constant leaves of absence, gone months without being able to send word, showing up bruised and bloody on the doorstep only to have you fall to pieces trying to put him back together. 
There are options though. He’s not opposed to adding someone new either—in fact, he has just the man in mind. 
Ghost has been holding Johnny back because he always thought you preferred to just be with one man (and Christ, the whining he’d had to deal with from Johnny, always begging to see you or begging Ghost for even just your panties, anything at all because he was so desperate and Ghost wouldn’t let him have you), but now?
Now there’s no reason to hold Johnny by the collar when he comes over for dinner. Now there’s no reason to kick Johnny from under the table when he leans just a bit too close to you when you’re sitting down to eat, eyes locked on the glimpse of your chest peeking out of your shirt and damn near drooling on it. Now there’s no reason to listen to Johnny jack himself off to the point of tears while trying to get some shut eye on a mission, the only crumpled up photo that Ghost had ever allowed him to take cupped close to his face.
He really pitied the poor mutt before, no pretty girl at home, his only crush being his superior’s girl. But Ghost is magnanimous—he’s a generous man. If you want to see other people, he has the perfect puppy for you to play with.
When you smile, still a bit unsure, he has to smother a grin. “Okay. I’ll stay ‘till then and look.”
Tumblr media
The look Johnny gives him when he brings it up is equal parts disbelief and fevered need. “Say that again, Lt?”
“You’re coming over after we wrap this shit up. Bird’s been asking about a third.”
He chokes, scrambling to his feet. The temporary base is damp, always on the frigid side of things so Johnny’s still in uniform for the most part, the fabric rustling in his haste to get up off his bed. It’s not a place either of them are eager to spend more time in than absolutely necessary. The lack of space means that the two of them are made to bunk together as always, sharing a room with two cots and a small en suite, the tub still wet from Ghost’s shower.
“Christ, yer serious? No joke, sir?”
Johnny pushes his head back into Ghost’s hand when Ghost reels him by the hair, dropping a firm close-mouthed kiss onto the centre of his forehead through the fabric of the mask. “She was clear about it. Why? Gettin’ cold feet on me now?”
“No, sir,” Johnny protests, shaking his head as much as he can in Ghost’s grip, eyes shimmering a bit. “I can bring over a bottle o’ wine if ye like. Somethin’ fancy to set the mood.”
Their closeness is not unusual; Johnny’s always been a tactile man, favouring touch over words. One of their small similarities; their shared modes of existing in the world. There’s a line in the sand where you’re concerned that Ghost has been clear on, but he’s used to always having a hand somewhere on Soap, keeping him close. Now, he gets to keep him even closer. 
His bird really has the best ideas. 
Ghost snorts, knocks their heads together. “Just bring yourself, pup.”
He ignores the way Johnny’s breath hitches, the way he hurries into the bathroom and slams the door behind him the second Ghost lets go. The frantic eager sounds from behind the door when the water runs, only muffling the loudest of his groans. He probably had his dick choked in his fist the second the door shut, a thick nut swirling down the drain within the first five minutes. 
They ship out the next morning, exhausted from the week’s work. No amount of sleep out in the field is ever good enough, especially not in cots barely built to accommodate men of their size. Especially not Ghost. Johnny dozes off on his shoulder in the plane, sinking into a deep sleep to compensate for the hours spent tossing and turning the night before. Ghost uses the flight to get a headstart on his paperwork, enough so that he’s not held up on base when they land back home. 
He doesn’t give you a heads up that he’s home earlier than planned; no need to give you enough time to pack a bag and schlep it over to that place you’d found. It’s better for everyone if you’re caught a bit off guard, just a little frazzled. Ghost’s not entirely unsympathetic—he knows you’ll overthink things if he gives you any time to yourself. 
It’s endearing the way you gape up at him, eyes flitting between him and Johnny, when he finally makes it home. For the few times that Johnny’s been over, it’s not an everyday thing; his visits are always planned and strictly timed, Ghost monitoring him to make sure he doesn’t overstep his bounds. Seeing him with Ghost in your foyer must be strange, must put you on edge. 
“Simon, you didn’t tell me you were—” you start and then pause, swallowing. You look over his shoulder at Johnny, smile stiff, uncomfortable. “Hi Johnny.” 
You’re always a good girl, not wanting to argue in front of company. 
“Heel,” Ghost says, steel in his voice when Johnny almost lurches from his side. The other man glances over at him with wild eyes, almost on the brink of disobeying, but he holds in the end and stays put. Ghost’s eyes soften when he looks back at you. “Have a nice week, pet?”
“Yes—sorry, I’m glad you’re home safe,” you say, flustered, taking his back from him to drop in the usual place in the hall. “I, um—” again, you eye Johnny nervously, unsure of how much you can say in front of him, “—I found a place…for…you know.” 
“‘Course,” Ghost agrees, shucking his boots at the door and giving Johnny a shake by his coat until he does the same. “Missed you too, pet. C’mere.” 
He muffles your protests with his mouth when he stalks forward and pulls you in for a wet kiss, rolling the mask up and off at the same time. You’re a bit stiff in his arms until he slips you some tongue and the resistance leaks out of you, helpless the second he gets his hands on you. Your eyes are still a bit misty when he pulls away, fingers clutched in the collar of his shirt like a reflex. Second nature to cling to him. His chest puffs up at the gesture.
“Thought about what you said the other week, bird, and you’re right.”
You blink, coherence coming back to you, shaking your head to divest yourself of the momentary confusion. “I am?”
“‘Course. Smartest girl in the world, isn’t she, Johnny?” Ghost asks over his shoulder, slipping a hand into your hair at the same time to hold you in place. It makes you frown, his actions not mirroring his words. 
“Aye, sir,” Johnny hums, nodding eagerly. Boots off, he stumbles forward, crowding around you from the other side, not realizing that they’ve backed you into a wall until it presses against you, trapping you in place. “Bonnie ‘n sharp as a whip. Always thought so, sir.” 
“That’s right,” he agrees, tightening his fingers in your hair until you squeal, brows furrowing in that way they do when you’re right on the precipice of pain and relief. “Only a smart, brave girl would ask for what she needs. You’re just lonely when I’m away, isn’t that right, pet?”
“I’m—I’m what?” you splutter, hands planted on Ghost’s chest, trying to push him away to no avail. He hardly notices it. 
“Go on, Johnny,” Ghost murmurs. “Since she asked so nicely. Give her a kiss.”
That’s all his mutt needs to hear. 
Tumblr media
You huff and puff with the strain it takes to take Ghost’s cock after a week and a half away. 
You’re always tighter when he comes back, an effort to work you up to taking him again; he lets Johnny get you prepped this time, slobbering all over your pussy in his eagerness, plugging you with three fingers before you’re even close to ready. He gets off on the way you howl, rutting his cock into the sheets of your bed while he keeps you pinned by a thick arm over your stomach. 
Ghost has to scruff him after that. He takes over, running a soothing tongue over where it hurts until you cry big, fat tears and come a couple times. He makes sure you’re taken care of before it gets tough. You’re mindless by the time he moves off you to retrieve the lube from the bedside drawer, only coming back to yourself when he turns you over onto your belly and spreads the cheeks of your ass. It unwinds something in his chest to hear you yelp when he pushes a finger into your ass, like coming home. 
This is why he does what he does: to get this when the job is done. 
It’s not often he gets to do this, usually too big for you to take comfortably in your ass. Johnny’s not that much smaller, in fairness, so he works you up to two and then three fingers before lying down on the bed and pulling you over him. Your legs tremble when you straddle him, fingers digging into his chest when he lowers you onto his cock for the first time in a week. 
“There we go,” he says, grunting when you pull his chest hair a little. “That’s a good girl. We just about done crying now?” 
Ghost smiles when you shake your head stubbornly, eyes still filled with tears. “This isn’t what I meant, Simon.”
“You can cuss me out when Johnny’s done, alright? That make you happy?” 
He almost chuckles when Johnny clambers back onto the bed in his haste to get his hands back on you, his pants still hanging off an ankle until he gives it a shake once his palms fit over your waist. 
“Slowly, pup,” Ghost cautions, reaching around to spread a cheek. He coos when you flinch, whispering for you to relax. 
Johnny’s eyes roll back into his head when he pushes in, hips stuttering forward until Ghost snarls and he stops, letting out a deep, shuddering breath to calm himself down. Even for Ghost, it’s intense; you tighten around him when Johnny pushes in, only letting up when he cups your cheek and draws you down for a kiss, loosening you up with his tongue. 
“Sir, I can—fuck, fuck, fuck,” Johnny whines, back curving when he drops his head. “She’s so fuckin’ tight, I can—swear I can feel you, sir.”
He’s not wrong. Ghost swears he can feel it himself, Johnny’s cock in his pretty bird’s ass while his is stuffed deep in your cunt. You pant through the stretch, words half-croaked out, unintelligible. It’s better that way. He loves listening to you sing, but you’ve been in a right mood these past couple of weeks. Just needed a good lay to sort you out. 
“Simon,” Johnny begs, thrusting forward until he bottoms out in you, making your pulse skyrocket. “I cannae breathe.”
“Yes, you can,” Ghost says dismissively, wiping at the drool slipping out of the corner of your mouth. “Give ‘er a sec and then you can move.”
“So, so, so hot. ‘M gonna come—”
He reaches behind you to wrap a hand around Johnny’s throat, giving it a squeeze. Johnny’s eyes bulge. “You don’t get to come until she does, pup. That’s all the time, got it?” 
He doesn’t pay any mind to how Johnny nods and mumbles his little yes, sirs after that—he’s a grown man, maybe not as grown as Ghost, but man enough to compose himself until you stop trembling and sweating so hard. 
It’d been a mite difficult to wrangle you into bed. He understands. He’d let you talk yourself red in the face about this not being what you meant by ‘seeing other people’, but Ghost hears the said and the unsaid. You wouldn’t be still in his house a whole week later if you really wanted to leave. 
“Alright, pet,” he grins, running his thumb over your bottom lip until it drops open and you let him run it over your teeth. “Hang on now.”
2K notes · View notes
cosmosis · 11 months
Text
MOVED TO @seratopia
miguel o’hara x reader (fluff) - can’t sleep
you just can’t sleep without your husband next to you (i hope my spanish was okay)
Maybe it’s your cycle, maybe its just the fact that you’ve been literally working all day for the past 3 weeks, but you’re tired as shit. The bags under your eyes are almost purple, your entire body hunches over like a zombie when you walk, you barely have time to think nor speak to anyone else besides your husband. The entire building is lowkey worried you’ll snap one day. 
Even Miguel is worried. Much how you like to do to him, Miguel’s been constantly ushering you to rest a little, borderline bribing you with nice takeout or some kisses to get you to sleep. But, to no avail. your sleep schedule is genuinely fucked. 
You’re cranky, hungry, and sleep deprived. 
At the moment, Miguel doesn’t really know where you are. Considering your current state, he thinks you’re out on a mission, or at least somewhere in the office. 
He’s already tried walking through the entire office just looking for you. He checked the cafeteria, gym, hallway, etc. muttering, “Where th’fuck are they?” But, you were nowhere to be found.
So, Miguel tries something different. He pulls up his watch, scrolling down to a button that he really only should be using for emergencies, but to Miguel, this is an emergency on its’ own. 
He presses the button, and suddenly his entire face is broadcasted to every single watch in the building. Dramatically, the emergency siren turns on, and all the spider-people are on their feet. 
“If anyone sees my wife, please report back to me asap. Tell her to come see me, I can’t find her anywhere.“
The whole office can see Miguel rub a hand over his face, visibly both annoyed and tired. Everyone starts looking back and forth, tilting heads and making sure that you didn’t just happen to be around somewhere. Once the camera turns off, though, nearly the entire building starts chuckling. 
It’s crazy how much Miguel’s face utterly lights up when he sees his watch ringing without your contact photo. Literally in a split second, he presses the button, opening up a microphone icon. 
“Miguel?“
Ugh, he just loves the sound of your voice. 
“¿Si querida?“
He hears you groan, possibly the sound of bedsheets shuffling, and it pulls at his heart. You’ve been so miserable lately, he just wants to see you back to your happy self again. 
“Come home, now.“
Just the tone of your voice alone put a worried frown on Miguel’s face. (He never likes to admit how much of an impact your emotions have on him.) An ugly, anxious swarm starts to build at the back of his head, making him impossibly nervous. 
Luckily, Miguel knows what to do. 
“Of course, hun. I’ll be there in 10.“
And he turns the watch off, sighing to himself after. He’s a little bit nervous now, fearing as though he did something to upset you, or that you had something serious to talk about when he came home. 
Every step Miguel takes to your shared home brought him closer and closer on edge, worry and theory swirling through his mind. His brain ping-ponged through every single possible reason why you’d want him to come home, especially in such a cranky matter. Maybe you were just tired? Maybe it was because he accidentally gave you a raisin bagel instead of a everything bagel?
By the time Miguel was at the door, his heart was beating erratically in his chest, hands the slightest bit shaky. Stepping inside, Miguel instantly beelined for your shared bedroom, gently opening the door. 
He sees you shuffle around in the covers, his heart secretly swooning. You’re just so cute when you’re half asleep; needy and cuddlier than usual. Already at the bedroom door, Miguel practically rips his shirt off, kicking off his pants and making his way over to where you lay. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, gingerly swiping strands of hair off your face. 
“What is it, hun?“ He coos.
You toss and turn, barely mustering a frown onto your face. Your eyes are half-lidded, tank top almost falling off your shoulder until Miguel readjusts it for you. 
“Can’t sleep without you.“ You mumble, slowly scooting yourself over and draping your arms towards him. Miguel practically swoons, cooing and leaning into your touch. How could he resist such an offer?
“Awh, baby.“ 
He tangles himself into bed with you, breathing the biggest sigh of relief. It wasn’t what he thought it was. You just wanted snuggles. Miguel takes it upon himself to spoil you extra, ghosting his touch over your back and kissing the darling skin of your temple.
Like the thousands of times he has before, Miguel tangles his legs into yours, kneading his fingers into the skin of your raised leg.  
Within a few minutes or so, Miguel feels you knock out like a light, tiny puffs of air escaping your mouth while you fist the sheets like a baby. He sighs, staring at you for a few moments while you sleep. Affectionately, he rubs his knuckles against your cheek, smooching your forehead. 
Miguel pulls a blanket over the both of you, knowing very well that by the time you’re awake, it’ll be completely on the floor. Readjusting his position, Miguel doses off to sleep, allowing himself to completely let go of all the stresses he holds. 
After all, he can’t sleep without you either. 
Tumblr media
© 𝒄𝒐𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔.
5K notes · View notes
Text
it really doesn't feel like there's any safe spaces for me to actually take apart and work through what happened to me as a child and a teenager, and it hurts me so much because i want to get over it but i cannot do it alone.
#i feel not the worst i've ever felt but not as hopeful as i expected to feel at this moment#i feel terrified of the future and what i will be opening up by taking on certain things#i am thinking of him again so much#i had a dream about a friend thats not around anymore and waking up wanting to text her and remembering i can't is just#i miss him so much but not really#i found out one of the most important people in my life is leaving and moving away and i don't know if i'll get to see her again tbh#i don't know if i can confide to others i know i am a lot i know they have their own burdens but i am feeling so alone#my supervisor even had a heart to heart with me last night and i just couldn't open up but i really wanted to#i know i get triggered this time of year because of him and i fucking wish so badly i could see him and talk to him again and get answers#but he would gaslight me like he did last time he will never change no matter how much i wish he would#and i still worry endlessly about the day i find out hes gone because he went too far finally#i wish i was better at confrontation and i wish i felt less alone#i tell myself i will be okay and i believe i will be at some point but it is not easy#i went insane last year and i don't want to kill myself i really don't i don't want to fall to that point its so scary because#i want to live#im so angry im nervous and anxious im terrified im hungry all the time bc i never eat im tired because i csnt sleep in my house#i don't know what to do i don't know how to change for the better im stuck here in this state
1 note · View note