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#been through and what isn’t actually canon
liveontelevision · 2 days
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Suffer Pt. 3
Suffer Part 3 is here! I'm planning on having at least two more parts, I was not expecting this to become a whole thing but :') I gotta see it through now lol
When I say I love slowburn fics, I mean it dammit.
Disclaimer: This is my personal interpretation of the characters from Hazbin Hotel. I respect the canon storyline and characters, but this fic will stray from it a decent amount.
Check out Part one and Part two :)
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Holding a small, sleeping Charlie close to your chest, you swayed her back and forth. Your eyes fluttered shut, as you danced around the familiar nursery, humming the same tune you've used to calm her down for years. She was asleep. Safe and oblivious to any of the chaos around her. You envied her. With one final spin, you let your eyes open. Your arms were empty. She was gone. The comfortable weight of her tiny figure instantly went away. You panicked, the room you were in was shifted into something unfamiliar and uneasy. A source of light finally drew your eyes. A distant doorframe provides light, casting the silhouette of a tall, curvy woman. Her eyes were glowing.
“L-Lillith?” There were sounds of a baby crying out and the intimidating figure became far away, ceasing any light and drowning you in a darkness that you've felt before. Long ago.
A heavy knocking at your door forced you awake. As you sat up you went to wipe the sleep from your eyes, only now noticing the tears streaming from your face. Just a dream… The knock was louder and quicker this time, forcing a response out of you. “Gimme a minute! Fuck -” You roll out of your bed, going to turn off the radio on your nightstand. Having the radio on throughout the night was something Alastor suggested, obviously, after you confided in him about having a series of nightmares. His show is broadcast while you sleep, and when it isn’t, the radio static actually acts as a soothing white noise. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it kept you from going insane in the least.
You finally approached the door, your body still wrapped in your large blanket that trailed across the floor. A cheerful, as always, Charlie stood at the door. She was quick to say good morning, but went straight to the point without letting you respond. She clearly practiced this.
“So! I know my dad's visit a few weeks ago was a liiittle… Tense? But - uh, I was wondering if you two talked yet..? By chance?” She spoke like she would be scolded for saying the wrong thing. You shook your head, still slowly blinking awake. 
“Well - okay! I was just asking because he.. keeps.. asking about you…” she held her phone out to you, letting you scroll through some of the messages he’s been sending her. You chuckle at first, he can't text for shit. But she was right. Ever since you blew him off that day, he's been asking Charlie how you've been and what you've been up to.
“I mean, I love my dad and it's awesome he's finally talking to me again, but - I don't know, if it's not too much to ask, could you maybe just.. talk to him?” Charlie rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, and her words broke your heart a little. It's cruel of him to try and reach out to you that way, put Charlie through that distress, but maybe you could've handled your last encounter with more care.
How could you say no to her?
“Yeah, i’ll talk to him, Charlie. Don't worry.” A yawn interrupted your sentence, but you still sent her a reassuring smile as she finally relaxed her shoulders.
“That’s great! I’ll just give him your number!” She planned outloud, turning away to head down the hall.
“Charlie- “ You called out, “He loves you, you know that, right? Don’t forget that.” Charlie’s smile drooped for a second, then quickly picked back up. She nodded as she left your view.
With a yawn, your body still not registering that you were awake or what you had agreed to, you went to shut your door. It didn't click like it usually does, so you turned to see the blockage - Alastor. He'd stuck his foot in the door to prevent it from closing entirely.
“Good morning, my dear!” his voice was booming, as he threw his arms out in a dramatic flare, your door swinging open.
Nope, you were too tired for this.
“Fuck, Al, can't this wait ‘til I'm at least dressed?” You tossed your blanket aside, rummaging through your drawers to cover the little silky tank top and pajama shorts you had borrowed from Angel during your first nights at the hotel. Maybe it was your sleep depravity, or just the fact that Alastor has made it a habit to be extra kind to you since you arrived, but you didn't mind him seeing you in sleepwear. He had no ill intent, as far as you knew.
“Unfortunately, it cannot! I heard you're going on a little outing with the king! How exciting~” He hummed, sitting at the edge of your bed as you cover yourself with your sweater. You plop down next to him, still wiping your eyes. He reached out, swiping his thumb across the apple of your cheek. Looking down at his hand, swiping your tears across his fingers, he met your suddenly embarrassed gaze.
“Another rough night, dear?” You weren't sure how he knew that's what that was from, but you nodded anyway.
“Just another nightmare, it's fine. They're always about Charlie and - the mistakes I made when I was taking care of her.. I guess it still kind of bugs me.” He let out a pitied hum, as he stood to turn your radio back on. He tuned it to some old timey jazz music before resting his hands behind his back. You didn't know it could play music..
“Well, it seems that meeting with that royal menace may not be the wisest choice. Wouldn't you agree?” You looked down before letting a sigh slip from your tired lips.
“It's fine, I can handle myself. Besides, he keeps bugging Charlie and I - I feel like I owe her..”
you shake your head, standing to your feet and beckoning Alastor out of your room.
“It's fine! It's just a quick visit, I won't be gone long.” He took your hand give it a quick kiss, a reassuring smile on his face.
“Well, if he does anything to hurt you, love -” love? “- I'll be right there to help.” He emphasized the end of his sentence with a quick tap on your nose before leaving your room. The music faded back into static as soon as he left.
You heard stories about their fight, plus you could hear their aggressive duet from your room that day, but you believed him either way. You had no doubt he could swoop in and save the day if you needed it. You wondered why people seemed so wary around him. He was a perfect gentleman to you, even with all the warnings you've gotten from Husk and Vaggie.
He had you wrapped around his finger.
You didn't think you would stress about what to wear. You hadn't even made plans yet, but all of sudden, you worried about what he would think of your clothes if he saw you. Charlie sent you his number, so it was on you to reach out. You ignored it for now. You’d ignore it forever if it would keep these feelings from resurfacing. Finally deciding on an outfit, just a black turtleneck that left your arms bare and a skirt that hugged your curves in a lovely way. Even if it probably wasn't the easiest skirt to bend over in, you decided it would do.
A lot of your clothes were hand me downs or were lent to you by either Angel, Vaggie or Charlie. None of it was truly your size, but you had no problem adding in some extra panels or cutting things to your liking. The sweater you grabbed previously was actually gifted to you by Alastor. You had no idea why he would give it to you, a simply red cardigan with a soft knit, but it quickly became your favorite accessory. Pulling up the collar, you buried your nose into the knitting, taking a soft breath in. It always smelled of whiskey and honey, no matter how often you washed it.
You went through your day like normal, followed along with some exercises Charlie was running and taking a quick trip to Cannibal Town with Alastor, something you did every now and then. It started off with him accompanying you to the bakery, where you would occasionally lend a hand, then he would split off to spend the afternoon with Rosie. As time went on, he would ask you to join him.. It was intimidating at first, but Rosie was nothing but a sweetheart, you had no problem fitting in with the two.
when you returned to the hotel, you finally mustered the courage to call Lucifer. With a quick pep-talk to yourself, you held your breath before bringing the phone to your ear. He picked up immediately.
“Hell- Erm.. uhh.. Shit, how do I -” Did he realize he answered the call?
“Helloo? Lucifer here - speaking! Who-who’s this..?” He knew who it was. You assumed this was just him trying to be casual. He wasn't very good at it.
“Lucifer - It’s me.. can we talk?” You were gripping the end of your sleeve nervously with your free hand.
“Yes! Yes, of course! When are you free? We can.. figure something out, right?” You could hear him tripping over himself, kicking things around, and something that sounded like a squeaky-toy being stepped on? His excitement made you giggle. Even with pulling your phone away to try and prevent your laughter coming through, he was losing his mind on the other end of the call. It felt like a nostalgic punch to the gut. He didn't realize how much he missed your laughter until now.
“I guess i’m free whenever.. Charlie doesn't like doing exercises on the weekend, so -” A breeze hit your face, blowing all your hair past your shoulders. Looking to the source, a golden edged portal had opened right in the middle of the hallway. A fidgeting Lucifer was standing with his hands behind his back, a nervous but excited looking grin across his face. You looked down to your phone, seeing the call was still going, then spotted his phone sitting on a table behind him. You let out the smallest huff, before hanging up and tucking your phone away.
“Missed me?” He said suavly, wiggling his eyebrows at you. God, you did. You couldn't admit that though. Your anger, guilt and nerves overshadowed any joy that he may have brought under different circumstances.
“Yeah, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” You rolled your eyes, beginning to step towards the portal. He reached his hand out to you, and he noticed you hesitating. “it’s uh- it’s a little bit of a drop if you step through the - um.. just.. wanted to -” you took his hand that he almost retracted, and carefully stepped over the border of the portal. You tried to keep your mind from noticing how your hand perfectly fit in his.
Static filled your core as you left the hotel, but before you could turn and see if Alastor was nearby, the portal had shut and the static ceased.
If he does anything to hurt you, I'll be right there.
Alastor's words rung through your head one last time. You finally met Lucifer eyes after literal decades.
“Um.. Tea?” Lucifer was fiddling with his ring again. Years ago, it was something you noticed he did whenever he was nervous. You nodded and watched as he conjured up everything needed to brew hot tea.
“What, you don't use any of the servants for that? Not even some angelic magic?” Small talk felt like it could make this moment less awkward. As he poured the already heated water into two teacups, he simply shook his head.
“Angelic power is great and all, but nothin’ beats fresh tea.” His smile was so sweet. You nervously balled up the sleeve of your sweater into your hand and brought it to your nose, breathing in the same sent that always seemed to calm you.
“And.. I- ahem.. I ended up finding other places for most of the staff after..” he said it quietly, unable to call attention to his missing spouse. Definitely a touchy subject for both of you. You finally looked around, realizing you recognized the tea room. It was small, but was walled in entirely with windows. It had a great view of the little garden that used to be brimming with difigured, yet beautiful, greenery. You took another look around the room, the nostalgia wearing off, taking in the dust and trash that was collected in the corners. The garden had died off as well. It wasn't completely unslightly, but the mess didn't make sense for a royal manor.
His words finally hit you.
“Found other places? What does that even mean?” You could feel your blood boil, watching him place the tea bags in each cup. You calmed for a moment, seeing that his hands were shaking.
“I just found places for them to work, is all. Sent the stylists to that Velvette girl in Pentagram City, some of the cooks went down to the Glutton Ring, ya know. Stuff like that. I wanted them to be taken care of.” He passed the cup to you, then pulled out one of the two chairs at the small table sitting in the center of the room.
“I just wanted to take care of them..since, I-I couldn't do that for you..” His voice was low, and when you attempted to look at his face he would sip from his cup or turn away. Don't be worried about him. He doesn’t deserve that.  It was all so long ago, it doesn't matter. Remember why you're here. 
“Good for them. Now, I'm here because you're bugging Charlie. Stop asking about me idiot, she's gonna think something’s wrong.” You placed your half empty cup down. He choked on his drink at your words, not realizing that you had seen the poorly written texts that he was sending to Charlie.
“And nothing is wrong. Right?” Lucifer scratched the back of his neck nervously, then opened his mouth as if to say something. He didn't. He simply nodded at first. 
“Y-Yup, right.. Everything's fine. l'll stop asking about you.” You went to stand, brushing the wrinkles from your skirt off as you did. That's that. You came here to get Lucifer to stop bugging Charlie and that's what you did. There's no other reason for you to  -
“Wait, please..!” His hand took a hold of yours, as he almost stumbled out of his chair to keep you from walking off. “I just want to say - “
“ - no you don't have to. It was a long time ago. Everyone makes mistakes, right?” You tried your best to keep your cool, but clearly it wasn't working. He winced at your words, releasing his hold on you.
“I have no excuse. I can't make it all go away, I still feel - “ he clasped his hand to his chest, struggling to figure out what he's trying to say.
“I'm sorry. I don't need you to forgive me, but please know, that I am sorry.” The room went silent, with your back towards him, the only thing you could hear was the beating of your own heart. Lucifer didn't know what to do, until the silence was broken by a pathetic little sniffle.
Dammit, not again. Don't let him get to you. Keep your walls up.
He quickly approaches you, his hands hovering over your shoulder, as if you’d shatter if he touched you.
“Nono, please, I -uhh.. I'll leave Charlie alone! I'll stop talking to you, I'll leave you alone if -”
With a quick turn, finally faced him. Letting out a breath you'd been holding in for far too long, you rush towards him with the intent to meet him with a long overdue embrace. The sudden leap left him staggering backwards, tripping over nothing and bringing both of you to the floor. “Don't you dare! H-How could you.. why would think that's what I want..?” Your words were muffled into his shoulder, since he had placed a hand over your head to protect you from the fall. Not even acknowledging that you were suddenly sitting on the floor between his legs, he finally managed to process your words. It took him a moment to even try and reciprocate the hug. He hadn’t been touched like this for years, it nearly overwhelmed his senses.
“ I want to know what happened that night! I want to know how you feel, or I guess felt, about me.. I dont care if it hurts, please tell me the truth..” all of the questions you've been asking yourself for years suddenly spilled out.
You felt absolutely pathetic, relying on him to tell you everything okay. But fuck, you needed this. Even if you never talk to him again after this, you needed some kind of closure.
“Woah- that's uh.. that's alot to drop on guy.. Uhm…” It wasn't like he didn't want to admit what he was feeling. With the relationship he had with Lillith, he had just become accustomed to not talking about himself much. That being said, with one look Into your teary eyes, he was all yours. He carefully took your hands from around his waist and held them in his own. He gently traced his thumbs along the top of your hands, letting you calm down before he went on.
“I.. I think about you all the time, I always have. I don't know what I would've done differently that night, but I'd do anything to take it back. To fix it..” The sweet smile on his face barely made his words sound better.
“I don't understand, Lucifer.” Your voice was quiet, and cracked a bit when his name passed your lips. You saw him jolt slightly, hearing his own name through your sweet, yet saddened voice.
“Well, I guess..Li-Lillith and I-” You both winced at the mention of her name. “- we weren't what everyone expected of us. And you were one of the only demons to know that. She- ugh.. I don’t know she left without a word, without a note - I have no idea where she went.” You felt like you were getting let in on a secret that he had been keeping for years. And maybe that's exactly what was happening. Your face went pale, your head swaying slightly, Lucifer took a hold of your arms and helped you stand, guided you back to your seat.
“It's not because of me, is it?” You said quietly, as if Lillith was just around the corner, ready to scold the two of you. Again.
“No! No, geez, if it has anything to do with you, then I'm to blame. Don't worry.” He still smiled at you, his face becoming strained after grinning for so long, then placed a hand over yours.
“Don't worry? Yeah! That shouldn't be too hard.. you idiot.” You rolled your eyes, but didn't pull away at his touch.
“I'll get straight to the point then, if you think I'm such a clown -” you couldn't help but grin at his self deprecating humor, and he's so relieved to see your smile.
“With you being in Charlie's life again, I'd like to.. I don't know, clear the air? Try and patch things up..?” You went to deject the idea, but he went on before you could.
“I know it won't be easy, and it's okay if it doesn't work out. But we all used to have so much fun together.. I think right now, it could be good for Charlie, and me, to have someone like you around.. I want you back in my life.” His little spiel seemed scripted up until that last part. Your heart throbbed. You were known to always decline help from people, avoid handouts, but the rush you felt hearing Lucifer say he needs you, you were almost swooning.
“Besides, we've both grown up! Moved on-  Right? I have all of Hell to keep an eye on, and you've got your little boyfriend back at the hotel so -” You wasted no time in correcting him. The idea of him thinking you had moved on with another demon made you panic for some reason you would never admit to. Why did he think you had a boyfriend? Who would - 
“Al?? Oh no, it's not like that, I swear. He's just been a good friend to me since I went to the hotel, is all.” 
“Al, huh?” He grumbled, leaning back in his seat ans crossing his arms over his chest. The warmth he left on your hand was immediately missed.
“Alastor, you know. The.. um.. You met him.” You held the sleeve of your sweater to your nose again, allowing the sweet air into your lungs. Fuck, he couldnt take his eyes off of you. He never wanted to take his eyes off of you, again. You just looked so pure in your little sweater.
But, that sweater.. something seemed off about it to Lucifer. He could feel some strange energy emitting off of it. It didn't come off as dangerous, but it definitely left him feeling uneasy. Like a headache that's just barely there, suffocating his thoughts. He's felt that before. It clouded his actions and judgements during his fight with-
“Hey, uh.. Be careful around that deer guy, will you? He seems pretty intimidating. Not to me, of course, but you know. Just in case.”
“Just in case of what?” You leaned forward, with your elbows on the table, propping your chin up. “Are you jealous?”
“Wha-What?? Of course not, I'm the king of Hell, I obviously trump him in every aspect.” There it was. There was that cocky, little bundle of nerves you used to know all those years ago. Everything finally hit you with the lost time, seeing that side of him.
“Lucifer, I missed so much. I wanted to be there for her, for Charlie.. I know I was just a babysitter, but there was so much more I wanted to do, so many things I wish I could've seen with her. With you, too.” You placed your hand overtop of his, just as he did to you earlier. He obviously wasn't expecting the reciprocation, flinching slightly at your touch.
“I guess I get what you're saying.. about taking that day back? That maybe if I didnt attack you the way I did, that I could be there longer. But… I was in love, Lucifer.” He stifled any giggles at the idea that you considered that kiss an attack, but nothing mattered after what you had said. He immediately flushed in the face at your words.
“In love..?” He barely whispered the words, his eyes sparkling. He felt a stabbing sensation in his chest, a familiar one, but still one that he hadn't felt in years.
“Yeah.. hm, it would've happened sooner or later, I think. I think I would've done it at some later point, if it didnt happen then.. I guess I'm just glad I left before Charlie could remember me. It all worked out, so - I guess what i’m saying is - we can try. Let's try being friends, again.”
What a bittersweet resolution.
“Okay. I'd like that.” He was fighting off any unwanted feelings. Burying any ideas to just profess that he felt the same way, and that he still does. That he wants to pick back up right where you left off. That he barely kept the longing, of feeling your lips against his, at bay. No matter how hard that was, things were looking up. Don’t blow it, Lucifer.
You chatted for a little while longer. You told him about your struggles after you were fired, all your interactions in Cannibal Town, the good and bad, then your eventual arrival at the hotel. The conversation lightened a bit, as you told stories about Charlie, giving him a much needed update on how she was doing when she wasn't stressing about a visit from him. You went on, talking about the other residents that he didnt have a chance to interact with last time. Obviously, that part of the conversation went into heavy detail about Alastor and all his little gifts and kindness.
Before you noticed, Lucifer held the edges of his chair, his hands gripping tightly into the metal at every little sigh or giggle you'd make in reference to something Alastor did. He'd dismiss it as jealousy for now. But that didn't stop him from rerunning that one moment in his mind. The moment where he was holding you. Touching the small of your back, just like how he used to.
The way you stood so close to him, that he could wrap his slender arm completely around your waist, and the confidence in your dismissal of Luficer's general presence. It was commendable, no matter the subject, he loved seeing your more confident side. Your words still hurt. The topic eventually came up.
“Oh god, Lucifer! I'm so sorry, I almost forgot about that.. I didnt mean anything, that was completely rude of me to treat you like that. I felt something come over me, seeing your face again, I just - I don't know, it was probably just some repressed rage? I'm sorry.” He quickly waved his hands, offering you reassurance in your actions, admitting that he felt he deserved it after everything.
“Don't say that, I was out of line. What you did to me doesn't excuse my actions.” You admitted. Was forgiveness possible in this situation? He had pushed the possibility so far down in his mind that a mutual respect seemed like an unachievable goal. And any reciprocated feelings were merely a dream.
This felt like a dream.
You asked how he was. He didn't hear that question often, so he didn't really answer with fun stories or anything exciting. His mind went into autopilot after you left. And after Lillith left, a lot of memories seemed suppressed. You asked about Charlie. He was worried you'd do that.
“Well- She uh.. went through her whole teenage phase, you know, goth makeup, boyfriends, a bunch of stuff she grew out of. She spent more time with.. her m-mother, though.. as she got older. But hey! Here she is now, doing the whole hotel thing, I'm very proud of her.” He nodded, clearly ready to move off the topic. But you weren’t.
“She looked up to you, you know. A lot. Oh man, she would cry for you all the time, constantly try to get into your workshop - as cute as it was, I wasn't ready to chase her down all the time. And i’d say she still looks up to you, Lucifer. You inspired her, I can tell.” You swayed the backwash of your tea in your cup, the pot was emptied long ago. Looking up, you see a trembling smile then watch him exhale a shaky sigh.
“Thank you.” He said softly. You couldn't stop yourself from leaning towards him a bit, after placing your cup down with a small clink.
Stop, Don't do this again.
Things might be different this time, but it can only go wrong in some other way, you were sure of it. Still, he leaned in as well. As you got closer, ready to shut your eyes to the reality and just let your fantasies take over, he reeled back, cover his nose and mouth with his hand. You jumped back, clearly embarrassed. He wouldnt call attention to it, leaving you to wonder what went wrong, but the scent from the sweater. It was disgusting to him.
“O-Okay, good catch up. I should get going, I - umm.. I promised Charlie I'd help her with something, so..” That was a lie. But if you spent another moment in that room with him alone, you'd have no control over what happened next.
“Oh.. right. Here -” He rose from his chair and opened the portal back up, leading to the same hallway you were in before. Turning back to him as he approached you, neither of you really said goodbye. Neither of you wanted to say goodbye. After an awkward exchange of trying to figure out if this should end with a handshake, a wave, a kiss - nope not that one. a kiss would be too much. But a hug?
Lucifer carefully placed his arms around you, encasing you close to his chest. He could feel your heart rate increase. The scent of your cardigan you wore overwhelmed him, but he refused to let go after feeling your arms lay comfortably around the back of his waist.
Good lord, this man hadn't gotten any in centuries. it took all of his strength to not trail his hands underneath that damned sweater and pull it off of you, feeling his way up your torso, sliding just the clawed tips of his fingers under your shirt until you - 
“Lucifer?” Your words were mumbled, your face pressed against his chest after he had tightened his grip.
“Hoof- sorry.” He quickly pulled away. You immediately missed the touch, but it was definitely for the best. For both of you.
“Well, Thanks for coming by.. you have my number..? Right! Call me whenever you want, I'm not busy-” Sure. The king of Hell wasn't busy. He just didn't want to admit that he’d drop anything he was doing if it meant hearing your voice. You nodded your head, taking a firm grip on his hand as you stepped carefully out of the portal and back into the hotel.
“I'll see you, Lucifer.” You said sweetly, he visibly melted at your words.
“I hope so.” With a quick wave, the portal cinched shut.
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Alastor stood in the hallway, right where the portal had closed, greeting you with a stretched smile.
“Darling! How was your little visit? I wasn't expecting him to sweep you off your feet so soon, I hope it went well.” He approached you, tapping his microphone to the ground and leaning into you.
“You never called for me, I’m hoping he didn’t hurt you. Again.” His voice crackled and a high pitch ring made you cover your ears for a moment.
“No, Alastor, it was good! We're gonna try and work things out, see if we can be friends again. I think it went the best it could, if you ask me.” You hummed with a sense of confidence, strolling dwon the hall with Alastor following beside you. You didn't notice his eye twitch and his ears folding back at the mention of his full name. He was losing you.
“Just be careful, dear! We don’t want you to make any mistakes again, do we?” He had no idea what he was talking about. Right? You hadn’t told him anything.
“Well, it’s about time I run some of my errands. Let me know if I can be of service to you.” A signature greeting for you at this point, Alastor reaches for your hand and presses another kiss across your knuckles. He looks up at you the way he usually does, but he let his lips linger for just a moment longer. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he tilted your hand to place his nose against the sleeve of your gifted sweater, inhaling the scent and exhaling with a hum.
“R-right, I will. Thanks.” You pulled away from his grasp, his eyes suddenly shooting open. You pulled away from him. That hasn't happened before. He wasn't nervous, exactly. But he did disappear into his shadow, which darted down the hall in the blink of an eye, leaving you with nothing but innocent curiosity.
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To be continued! Stay Tuned ;)
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The Lookalike (Part 5)
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☒ Summary: The first thing you remembered after your death was an argument. “No, this isn’t one of my fucking sluts.” The man behind you exhaled, frustrated. “This is a present for you. Something to help you work through your Alastor fixation.” You awaken in Hell as the near-spitting image of a certain infamous radio host. Unfortunately for you, you immediately fall into the clutches of his nemesis, and then into the talons of the Radio Demon himself. 
☒ Warnings: hermaphrodite!reader, deer!reader, they/them pronouns used, Alastor X reader, Vox X reader, Alastor X Vox, drug use, explicit sexual content, reader is in Hell for a reason, Valentino, canon typical scenarios.
☒ Author's note: This is now a series! Part I Part2 Part 3 Part 4
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Given that you were the same size, and the intention was to have you pose as him, Alastor allowed you to raid his wardrobe without complaint. The bulk of it was variants on the same outfit, a palette swapped version of the suit that Vox had dressed you in, but you found enough pieces in the back to entertain yourself; a dress shirt with suspenders over it, a waistcoat, a jaunty little fez that attached to the hair with a hairpin and a cravat to hide the bruising on your neck.
You still looked like Alastor, but more of a bellhop than a concierge, and weighing the man’s gaze on you, you could tell this had been the right decision. He viewed you as his lesser, and seeing that reflected in your dress gave a less guarded edge to his smile that had not been there before.
Alastor returned your things to you, the wire and the aphrodisiac, and led you out into the hotel proper to introduce you to the rest of the staff.
“This here is Niffty,” said Alastor, fondly, gesturing to the pint-sized demon in a maid’s outfit who ran up to you as the two of you entered the lobby.
“Hello, Niffty,” you said, extending a hand to her. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
Niffty stared up at you, her single eye wide and curious. Rather than speak, she placed a large dead cockroach in your open palm, then smiled at you toothily before running away.
Alastor’s eyes creased at the corners. “I think she likes you,” he said. “But who knows, honestly, so watch your back. The others here are Vaggie, with the one eye, the grumpy pussycat behind the bar is Husker, and that one there is our hotel’s singular guest, Angel Dust. Lucifer and his daughter aren’t here right now, but you’ll cross paths soon enough.”
Vaggie stopped and stared, her expression at first confused, and then angry. “Alastor, why are there two of you? What did you do?”
Alastor just smiled obliquely. “What did I do? Why, nothing at all. This good fellow is merely my body double. They’ll be assisting me for a while.”
Angel Dust squinted at you from his perch at the bar, his look appraising. “Soo… They slash Them?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
Alastor stepped in before you could speak, an arm slung friendly around your shoulders. “Actually I think they’re more of a strangler.”
“So you found yourself a murder twin. Fuckin’ great.” The big cat behind the bar sighed as he polished a glass.
Taking out a handkerchief, you folded it carefully around the dead insect, giving it a little squeeze to check that it was actually dead, and headed over to the bar.
Angel Dust gave you a lascivious grin. “So how was sex with the tv?” he asked, both hands folded under his chin.
This time you felt a chill in the air as Alastor stiffened behind you. You could practically feel the static in his throat.
“I’m sorry?” you cocked your head, apologetic.
“Oh, don’t be coy, I saw the pictures.” Angel Dust winked at you.
“Pictures?” you felt your composure break, just a little. Of course Vox had taken pictures. The bedroom had been studded with cameras, and if you had to guess he probably had at least one embedded in his face. You hadn’t expected him to distribute them though. And though you’d only been in your body a few days, it was a little galling to think of strangers looking at your naked form. Your ears dropped fractionally.
“Oh shit, you didn’t know.” Angel Dust looked genuinely apologetic for about a second. “Well, welcome to Hell, I guess.”
Alastor took a seat beside you, not looking you in the eye. “He didn’t send them to everyone, of course. Only to me.”
“It doesn’t matter who he sends em to if he took em without proper licensing,” said Angel, sagely. “Was he any good at least? Or did he just lay there, with his big flat head?” Angel gestured in a square around his own head.
You gave a tight lipped smile. “I don’t talk about things like that. Past partners, I mean.”
“What’s the harm? Sounds like he already betrayed your trust.”
“Because it’s rude.” You spread your hands. “If I’m just going to behave like the people who wrong me, then who am I, really?”
“You’re in Hell,” said Angel, with a derisive wave of his hand. “Live a little.” He laughed, but Husk slid you a drink across the bartop, and you sensed something that might have been approval in Alastor’s gaze.
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Your first week in the hotel passed quickly, with Alastor taking full advantage of your promise to help around the hotel. There were few guests, but the hotel itself was enormous, so most of your tasks consisted of cleaning, dusting, or pulling Niffty out when she got stuck in the air vents.
Alastor didn’t talk about the encounter you had shared, neither the tussle nor the intimacy afterwards, so you were a little surprised when he asked you to move into his room with him. The space inside the room was huge, and at night he would vanish into his personal swamp to do who knew what, leaving you to sleep in his bed with a set of his pajamas on.
A little personal space felt good after days trapped in Vox’s bedroom, but it didn’t take many nights for the bed to feel a little too large with only one body in it. That he was avoiding sharing the bed with you was a certainty; the sheets smelled like him, and more than once you found yourself sleeping curled around one of his pillows, face pressed against the fabric.
The way that Alastor would casually reach out and squeeze one of your antlers if he passed you alone in a hotel corridor told you that the two of you were probably still on kissing terms, or at least that Alastor thought little of such small displays of intimacy.
You spent time watching Alastor where you could, learning his mannerisms and gait. You lacked his magic, of course, but your voice had the same tendency as his to give a tinny, faintly distorted sound, and you found you could replicate his silvery canned laughter with a little effort. The physical part was a little more difficult, with your body still new and a little unsteady, but within the first few days you had a passable imitation of how Alastor walked. There was a quirk to his stride, an intermittent tension to his shoulders, which you began to imitate too. Perhaps it was an injury of some sort, but it was hard to tell. Alastor’s other major quirk was that he never dropped his smile. You didn’t copy that, but took note of it for later.
Walking past the lounge, you caught sight of Charlie and all the residents starting up one of their group activities, and stopped to watch.
Charlie clapped her hands. “Alright, everyone, for our next activity, we are going to do hugging! Everyone pick a partner, and we’ll do a one minute timed hug.”
“We’re one short if we want pairs,” said Vaggie, looking around the room.
“Hey, tall dark and ambiguous,” Angel Dust caught your eye from his place on the sofa, and wiggled an eyebrow suggestively. “You want in on this?”
You checked the watch on your wrist- after hours- and shrugged. “Sure.”
A cold presence manifested behind you. “If my double is joining, it would be remiss of me not to,” said Alastor, emerging from the shadows. His claws settled delicately on your shoulder. “You’ll be my partner, won’t you?”
You glanced back, spotted the possessive look in Alastor’s eyes, and nodded. “Of course. Sorry, Angel.”
Angel Dust gave an audible sigh as Niffty crawled into his lap.
“Alastor? You’re joining? But that leaves us with an odd number again.” Charlie’s face fell.
“That’s okay, Charlie. I can sit this one out.” Lucifer, who had been sitting on the second couch, got to his feet.
“But dad…”
“I’m being a team player. That’s what dads are for, right?” Lucifer gave his daughter a fond smile, which she returned uncertainly. “I’m just gonna take some air.”
“Okay.” Charlie watched her father leave the room, her expression clouded, but she shook her head, taking in the room of people waiting for her to speak. “Uh, okay. So, like I said, we’re going to do the timed hug, and everyone has to ask a question, and answer a question truthfully. I’ll start the stopwatch.”
Sitting in a chair with Alastor was the first time you’d felt his arms around you since he’d climbed atop of you in his bed. His chest fit flush with your back, and he hooked his chin over your shoulder as both of you settled into the cuddle. Had he done this just to stop you from cuddling up with the porn demon? It seemed likely.
“Will you start, or shall I?” Alastor asked, your faces close enough that you breathed the same air. Looking around, no-one in the room was looking at the two of you, each of the participants engrossed in their own quiet conversations.
“Is that your question?” you asked, mildly.
“A question each.” Alastor’s eyes creased at the corners. “Bravo, impostor. I believe we’ve fulfilled the conditions of Charlie’s activity.”
“Not quite. We’re here until the timer goes. So we might as well talk.”
“I suppose. What are you thinking about?”
“I’m wondering why you’ve asked me to sleep in your bed when you have no intention of sharing it with me,” you said, careful to keep your voice low, audible only to him.
“Oh? Is it so surprising that I want to keep an eye on my things?” Alastor’s smile quirked, a challenge. Say you’re not mine. I dare you.
“I don’t see Husk or Niffty sleeping in there,” you said, a soft challenge rather than a direct one.
Alastor trailed a possessive hand from your navel to your chest, making your breath catch in your throat. “Husker and Niffty,” he said quietly. “Do not have my face. Do not mistake their situations for yours.”
“And what is my situation, exactly?” you asked.
Alastor gave a hiss of displeasure at being cornered like this, and you noted the sound. His hand still over your chest, he flexed his claws, the sharp ends pressure points in a pentacle over your heart. “You’re mine,” he said. “Not anyone else’s. Mine.”
That was either deranged or romantic; you couldn’t quite decide which. “Because I look like you?”
“Because no-one else can be allowed to see my- our face. What we look like, in agony or ecstasy.” Alastor’s smile was steady, but his voice had a strained edge even at this low volume.
“That’s just for you, huh.”
“I’m glad you understand.”
“I wouldn’t have a problem with that if I felt like you had any intention of seeing my expressions yourself,” you said, your own quiet challenge. You liked Alastor well enough, but an eternity of celibacy was a tall ask.
Alastor laughed in your ear, the sound silvery, his slight chest trembling with mirth. “What would you propose we do?”
You mulled it over, comfortable in his embrace. Given Alastor’s reticence in sharing the bed, straight up propositioning him for sex probably wasn’t the correct route. “I have the bottle of aphrodisiac I took,” you said, careful not to mention Vox’s name. You’d wanted to have it as an option for your eventual hunts, but you had no idea what the suitable dosages might be. “I wanted to test it as a knockout drug. Help with that?” It was an lowball pitch, an objective besides sex and no obligation for him to perform.
“Surely you’re joking.” Alastor rolled his eyes. “I’m not about to be your test subject.”
“Of course not. You’re stronger than me. I’d be the test subject.” You intended the flattery, acknowledging Alastor’s strength, and caught a flicker of something like pride in his face.
“I suppose I could help with that,” he said, his tone light but his eyes betraying interest. “It might even be entertaining.”
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Lucifer approached Alastor’s bedroom door with trepidation, and looked around. That Alastor might have been his inferior in terms of raw power, which the fight with Adam had proved, but he was a tricky one. He had been attending Charlie’s activity with his double, but who was to say there wasn’t a third or fourth Alastor in the hotel somewhere. Lucifer stared at a dark patch on the floor in front of the door for a second too long before realizing it was his own shadow.
Cracking his knuckles, Lucifer transformed himself into a tiny snake with a top hat, and slithered underneath Alastor’s door.
If Mr TV man wanted cameras and microphones all over Alastor’s room, the King of Hell would provide.
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Despite your earlier bravery, nervousness was a tightness in your chest as you returned to Alastor’s room that night. Memories of your previous encounter swirled in your gut, and you reminded yourself that he hadn’t agreed to a repeat performance, at least not explicitly.
Alastor was already there, laying out a set of small brass scales on his table, picking the small weights from the velvet box with his talons and lining them up beside it. Wordlessly you stalked up beside him, placing the bottle onto the table and picking out a suitable thimble sized container from the box.
Ingested, or inhaled? Ingested, you decided- you had no idea if the stuff would rip up your airways. Balancing the scales, you measured out a few grams. Given that Vox had just left this laying around in his bedroom, you doubted such a small dose would be lethal, and if it knocked you out for the count, you trusted Alastor enough to put you to bed.
You removed your shoes and waistcoat, taking a seat before you swallowed the powder, clearing your mind and taking stock of your body.
The first wave of the drug’s effects hit immediately, and you were glad you’d been conservative with the dose. The warmth spread from your throat to your chest, leaving your nerve-endings buzzing in its wake as it spread.
Alastor watched, giving you a questioning tilt of the head.
You swallowed as sensation flooded your body, struggling to keep a clear head. “I’m going to run, now. Try and stop me.”
The hardest thing was turning away, not immediately offering yourself up for soft touches, skin against skin. Part of you wanted to turn around and offer to wrestle, but you had a good idea of where that would go. That in itself was a useful effect of the drug, but not enough. Someone who knew they were being hunted by you would have the wherewithal to at least try to run.
With your senses on fire, running was a strange sensation, each bound through Alastor’s ersatz swamp dimension feeling precarious, almost drunken. The air was thick and humid, and it almost felt as if it was pooling in your lungs, slowing you down. As requested, Alastor chased, a shadow in your peripheral vision, glimpses of him spurring you on. He didn’t run full tilt, as you were trying to do, but rather proceeded calmly through the bayou, moving closer with his shadow when your quick pace put him too far behind. The closer he got, the harder it was to keep running. Your arousal was evident to you now, your cock half-hard in your pants, your pulse almost tangible through your core, all the quicker for your physical exertion.
Alastor caught your forearm in his hand, and you stumbled, heart dropping in your chest. The drug was something similar to the rave drugs in the mortal world, making physical contact feel like affection, a little like falling in love, a little like a long night under the stars, backs against the ground.
“You’re not even struggling,” Alastor noted, quietly amused. “Do you think this dosage might suffice?”
“I can still run.”
“But you’re not running,” said Alastor. He trailed a hooked finger up your chest and underneath your cravat, pulling your head forward, his voice turning singsong. “You don’t want to run.”
It was true- you didn’t want to run. You wanted to lapse into something more carnal, pull him to the ground with you, but that wasn’t entirely the drug.
You did try to pull away then, but even his light touch felt inexorable. Alastor’s smile shifted, becoming less the surface level curve his face usually wore and more an expression of intense interest. You could feel the drug’s effects intensifying, your perceptions warping in a not entirely unpleasant way as Alastor pulled you to him. Heat in your face, heat in your loins. “Try to run,” he spoke into your ear, the touch of his breath on your skin making your hair stand on end. “Try to escape me.”
You did, some part of your mind still capable of resisting, and you twisted from his grasp, making it a few steps before he was on you again, this time pushing you to the ground.
You gasped into the dirt, your vision swimming.
“Would you like me to take notes?” Alastor asked, pinning you to the ground with one hand between your shoulderblades, the weight of his palm unnaturally heavy. “About how docile you are under the influence of this, how malleable?” He leaned in close, face beside yours. “How you become perfect, vulnerable prey?”
You moved without thinking, turning your head to kiss him. For a few seconds he returned the kiss, tongue sweeping against yours, before his body tensed and he recoiled from you. You rolled to your side, watching confused as he stumbled back, scraping his tongue with his hand.
“Fuck,” hissed Alastor, and it occurred to you the maybe he’d gotten a secondary dose of the drug from your mouth.
“It’s not so bad,” you called to him.
“It’s all very well you saying that,” said Alastor, a little archly, his smile prim. “You volunteered to take this stuff.”
“And you got a fraction of what I did,” you said, keeping your tone coaxing. “We’ll both be fine.”
You crawled over to him, laying your head against his knee, and watched his face, the way his pupils dilated, ever so slightly, antlers larger than they had been a moment before.
“You’ve poisoned me,” he grumbled, but didn’t stop you as you climbed into his lap, or as you leaned in to kiss him again. His body gave a small tremor as your lips touched, and you looped your hands around his shoulders, kissing his cheek, his jaw, your skin feeling like white light where it touched his. “A good showing again, my double,” he said, his smile almost feral against your neck.
“I didn’t poison you on purpose.”
“You would say that,” said Alastor.
He pushed you from his lap and onto the soft ground of the faux bayou, on your hands and knees.
“See what you’ve done to me?” He pressed his hard cock against the back of your thigh, hot through the fabric, and you whimpered, rolling your hips back against him. With a quick and trembling hand he unhooked your suspenders, pulling down trousers and underwear, freeing his own cock with a susurrus of fabric and pushing himself between your thighs.
“Fuck.” You bit your lip, feeling the heat of him, the swell of him, the wetness at his tip as he found friction between your inner thighs. The drugs made his touch feel like love, made your cunt ache and your own cock further stiffen and weep. He pushed your shoulders down and you cried out into the dirt, arching your back as he reached around to grasp you.
“Still, can’t say I object too vehemently,” said Alastor, hand curling perfectly around your cock, pumping in time with his own thrusts. “It’s not so different to masturbation, after all.”
You groaned at the dual sensation, Alastor’s hand firm but steady round your shaft, and the heat of his cock as he fucked between your thighs. “Inside me.” You raised your face from the dirt to speak. “Alastor. Inside me, please.”
Alastor gave a thoughtful hum, but backed off just enough to let you angle and open yourself for him. With the similarity in your stature, it was easily done, and Alastor held himself still as you lined your entrance with his tip, and pushed back onto him. Your senses still heightened by the drugs, the feeling of him was exquisite, every inch of him a heady burn as he filled your cunt.
“That is-” he made a noise in his throat, one of unmistakable pleasure. “That is quite a convenient bit of anatomy, darling.”
That simple utterance was enough to bring a flush to your face, no matter that the man was already buried to the hilt in you. Darling. He had called you darling.
The whole week you had known him, he had called you his pretender, his impostor, his double and on a handful of occasions dear, in the same way that a doting grandparent might call a child, but darling was a different name entirely. Darling hit different when he was balls deep, antlers growing, palm curled around your cock and about to fuck you. Some of it was bound to be your altered mental state, of course, but not entirely. Did he care for you? Did you care for him in the same way? You whimpered, soft animal noises as he began to move inside you.
Perhaps sensing your emotional state, or perhaps from sentiment on his own part, Alastor’s movement was slow, each thrust a burning stretch on your cunt that left you able to do little more than gasp into the dirt as he bottomed out, balls resting against your labia.
“Darling,” he breathed into your shoulder at one such nadir, and the amused exhalation he gave afterwards told you that he could tell exactly the effect that word had on you. With a startle you realized that he had become bigger than he was, not just his cock but the entirety of his body, his torso longer, his arms longer, even his fingers curled around your cock. “You asked for this, remember that.”
“Darling,” you returned, heart in your throat, hoping that he could feel what you felt, and his response was a deep, animal rumble, from inside his inhuman chest as he hunched around your smaller body. It was only one word, one term of endearment, but perhaps it was enough. He fucked you then, not with abandon but control, the control of a man used to inflicting sensation in an exacting and precise manner. Each thrust felt like a descent into madness, bringing tears to your eyes, making your hips quiver as you tried to move against him, but Alastor held your waist with one clawed hand. You came more quickly than you wanted, spilling onto his fingers and the dirt beneath you, and he fucked you through it, the stretch of him enough to make you twitch all by itself.
“Should I finish inside you?” he asked, a tight, trembling edge to his voice, and you realized that his usual playful repartee had been missing all the time he had been fucking you, that this whole time he had been hanging on for sheer life, holding himself from his own orgasm.
“Please,” you whimpered into the dirt, and your suspicions here confirmed as you felt the first hot pulse of his cum inside you almost immediately, a noise from him very similar to the one you had been making, something between an animal cry and the moan of a poorly soldered capacitor.
You felt Alastor collapse against your back, face buried in your neck. He gave a soft gasp, a barely audible fuck, and you pressed yourself against him as he emptied himself into you, pulse after pulse, until his body was the normal size again and his cum ran in thick rivulets down your thighs.
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The notification pinged in Vox’s peripheral vision as he was halfway through the quarterly board meeting- new camera feeds now online- and the thought of it made his mouth go dry. He didn’t have much to do here other than closing remarks, and Voxtek’s CTO was deep into explaining some shit that Vox already knew, so what was the harm in it? Just a little peek. To check the system was working. He’d probably just see Alastor reading a book or some archaic fuckin’ thing.
Valentino never attended these things. Velvette did, but rarely, her face stuck in her phone until a particular item on the agenda caught her interest.
The other two did their bit in their respective arenas, but really, Vox was the one holding it all together. The board didn't need him today though. Vox eyed Baxter wearily, watching his chief engineer go through a presentation he'd seen three times before. Really, why shouldn’t he check the camera feeds?
Making sure that none of the feed was displayed on his face, Vox switched to the first of the cameras, and catching a glimpse of movement, switched feeds to one of the cameras in the bayou.
Oh.
Oh, fuck.
Alastor hunched over his lookalike, both of them with pants around their knees. Going at it, Alastor's eyes like radio dials, his body elongating as the both of you moved together. Fuck. This shit was live. Vox stifled a groan, then glanced around the boardroom, hoping that no-one had caught his reaction.
Oh, fucking fuck. Vox drew in breath, trying to compose himself.
“Sir, are you okay?” Baxter stopped mid presentation, looking at Vox with an expression of concern.
“I, uh, need to make a call real quick,” he said, and the board gave him confused looks as he stood, picking up his laptop and holding it in front of him to hide the tent in his pants. Live radio demon fucking continued overlaid over the board’s stares, screen-in-screen. “Carry on as you were.”
His cock now too hard for him to walk away with any dignity whatsoever, Vox called on his magic to zap himself out of there and back to the relative privacy of his control room. “Fu-uck,” breathed Vox as he stumbled forward to the control panel, watching with wide-eyed disbelief as he broadcast the scene to the big screen, piping in the audio, the breathing and the whimpering as well as the wet visceral sounds of sex. “Oh, fuck yeah.” He licked his lips, hand at his fly, transfixed by the sight. “That's some good fucking shit.”
Lucifer had fulfilled his end of the bargain and then some. Val and Velvette would have questions as to why they were suddenly giving loads of free shit to Lucifer's daughter, but he could handle that.
Right now, Vox was going to sit down and watch the Radio Demon fuck himself. The board meeting could fucking wait.
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hellfirenacht · 3 days
Text
Reader ==> Enjoy Your New Car!
Summery: Through no powers of your own, you end up in Hawkins 1985, in a tv show that you once saw on Netflix. Slow burn, Eddie Munson x Reader will be canon, choose your own adventure to a degree, monkey’s paw author.
Isekai Chronicles Master List
START HERE <<<--- FIRST CHAPTER HERE
Chapter Summery: You get a new (old) car! That should help you get around Hawkins... right?
Tags: Eddie and Reader, sfw
Work Count: 2.8 k
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Reader ==> Enjoy Your New Car!
The junk car that you managed to scrape together a couple hundred dollars for worked well enough for the first two weeks. It had no heating, no radio, the seats were uncomfortable, and there was a lingering scent that you couldn’t get rid of no matter how much you tried to clean it, but it drove you to the Hideout and the high school, and to the trailer you now called home. 
That was until about a half hour ago when the key snapped in the slot to turn the engine on. Could you ever catch a break? Just fucking once while you were here? 
You nearly jumped out of your seat and through the roof of your rust bucket when you heard a tap at the window. You looked to see Eddie, frowning at you and you manually cranked down the window. 
“Evenin’ officer. How can I help you?” you asked, trying not to sound as defeated as you felt in that moment.  
“This is a no parking zone.” He said, leaning over and resting his arms on the open window. It was late November, and the cold was consistent now, but you hardly noticed with how you’d been just staring out the windshield for the past thirty or so minutes. “Neighbors have been sending in complaints.”
You looked behind you at the neighboring trailers. There were at least 2 that had broken down cars within the block, one that’s been sitting on cinder blocks since before you arrived and one that the neighbor had been working on for a few weeks on and off. Other cars were scattered and parked near their own trailers, haphazardly. 
“I’ll be sure to move it.” you said, more dry than intended. 
“So why are you sitting out here in your car, staring out into space?” Eddie asked and looked out the way your car was facing, as if trying to see if there was anything interesting in that general direction. There wasn’t. 
“Car’s broke.”
“How broke?”
You held up the piece of plastic where your key had been attached to. 
“So the car’s fine, but the key broke.” Eddie clarified.
“Is there a difference?” You asked. 
“There is. If the car was busted then you’d be fucked out of this rust bucket-”
“Eddie, you can’t say things like that.-” you rubbed your face, now feeling the cold in the contrast to the warmth in your cheeks. 
“What I’m saying is I can help.” He continued. “Do you have any tools?”
“Uhhh....”
“Follow me.” 
You got out of the car, not bothering to roll the window back up, and followed Eddie back to his trailer across the park. It wasn’t a long walk, you had already come to visit your friend more than a few times since you moved in. You felt a little bad, you found yourself spending time at Eddie’s place more than your own. 
“So, what brought you to my end of the park?” you asked as the two of you walked. The ground was covered in a thin layer of frost that wouldn’t fully commit to snow or ice.
“Boredom.” he said honestly. “I fried my brain trying to learn this new riff I’ve been working on and I needed a break.” 
“New song for the set?” You asked. “It’s about time, I get that one Judas Priest song is a staple, but you’ve beaten it into the ground at this point.” 
“Prowler isn’t going anywhere as long as it’s the one song everyone can play consistently.” Eddie protested. “And it’s a new original song I’m working on.” 
“That’s actually really cool.” you followed him into his slightly warmer trailer and watched as he opened a tiny closet and pulled out a tool box. “How many original songs do you have?” 
“Three and a half.” Eddie said. “We uh.. We started with a song that Ronnie and I wrote together. We don’t play that one anymore, but we’ve got one other song, and this one that I’m working on now.”
“Why don’t you play the first song?” You asked as you followed him back out. 
Eddie’s face went stoic for a moment, staring at the dirty green toolbox. “It just didn’t work out.” he finally said, and you had a feeling he wasn’t interested in talking about the song. “The second song is called Litch and if Jeff can commit to learning the vocals then we’d actually be able to play it at the Hideout at some point. They always hesitate on playing our original songs.”
“I’d like to hear your original stuff at some point.” you said, following him back out into the cold. 
“If I can get the guys to commit, then you’ll hear it at some point.” Eddie said, leading the way back to your car. 
There were times where the two of you couldn’t shut up for five seconds, and then there were times where the silence between the two of you was deafening. Sometimes you felt like you were getting somewhere with your friendship with Eddie, and sometimes... sometimes you wondered if he thought about you at all when you weren’t around. 
He came over to see you. Of course he thinks about you. You told yourself, watching the subtle way his hair moved as the two of you walked together. 
Eddie hopping into the driver seat of your car and you moved into the passenger side seat next to him, with the toolbox between the two of you. He immediately pulled out some pliers and started messing with the key slot, trying to get the broken bit of metal out. 
You focused on his face, watching the way his eyes narrowed in concentration and the way his tongue subtly poked out from between his lips. That was something you noticed he did a lot. His brows were furrowed and from your angle it almost gave him a unibrow until he moved his fringe to the side. It was a little longer than it had been in the past two months and you wondered how often he cut it. 
“Shit.” he muttered and leaned back against the seat, his hands resting on the wheel. “Yeah, it’s really jammed in there.” 
“So I’m fucked out of this rust bucket?” you asked, frowning. 
“I... there’s another option.” Eddie said, staring at the wheel. “It’s not a smart option. It’d be stupid, actually and not really safe. And I’d have to do something not completely within the letter of the law.” 
You paused and stared at him. “Don’t you sell special K to high schoolers?” 
“That was once and I overcharged them.” Eddie said. “I save that for a different clientele.” 
For now. You thought. 
“So, what’s the illegal method you have to help me with my car?” you asked. 
Eddie took a deep breath and seemed to refuse to look at you. “We can hotwire it.”
“Hotwire... I’m sorry, what?” you looked at him surprised. “You know how to hotwire a car?” Had that been part of the show? You really wished that you had watched season four more than once over a year ago. It didn’t help that the longer you stayed here, the less you seemed to remember. You had your private box and notebook tucked away in your closet under a blanket, but you only pulled that out when you absolutely had to. Paranoia stopped you from reading everything too closely, and the idea of being caught with the things in that box... you shuddered to think about what would happen and how you’d explain yourself. 
Eddie didn’t say anything for a moment before he pulled a screwdriver from the toolbox. “It’s up to you. I can hotwire the car and teach you how to start it up like that, or you can call a tow and pay to have the key fixed.”
You thought about the options for a while, you were already eating ramen for most of your meals to pay for the car. The car clearly wasn’t worth more than the couple hundred you had paid for it, and you really were convinced that you’d overpaid for it. 
Fuck it. 
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Eddie wasn’t gentle with the way he ripped open the dashboard and he started pointing out the different wires. You did stop him for a moment to grab a sheet of paper to write it down. Eddie insisted that after you’ve done it once, you wouldn’t need the cheat sheet, but you weren’t going to take any chances. 
“So.. how’d you learn to do this?” you asked as he rubbed two wires together, flicking them almost. You didn’t think he’d answer, but then the car suddenly rumbled to life and he actually smiled, looking proud of himself. 
“My dad.” Eddie explained. “We didn’t exactly have a traditional relationship growing up. Some kids got birthday parties and trips to the zoo, I got lessons on hotwiring cars and trips to the bar to learn cheap tricks for money. That only lasted until I was about ten when I stopped being small and cute.” 
“Shit.” you said, looking at him, trying to decide on how you’re supposed to respond to that lore that was just dropped on you. Eddie didn’t open up often, and this had to be a sign of trust, right? “...Want me to fight your dad?”
Eddie snorted at your question. “I bet my uncle would take you up on that.” he shook his head. “No reason to, I haven’t seen him in years. He’s probably in jail right now, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s been locked up.”
“Want me to break in and beat him up anyway?” you offered. “I’m sure I could figure it out.” 
“Your stealth rolls are shit.” he said. 
“You sound like Gareth. What I can or can’t do in D&D is completely different from what I could do in real life.” you said. 
“And how exactly do you plan on sneaking in to beat up my dad?” he asked, amusement in his eyes. 
“I’ll walk in, bat my eyelashes, and ask to visit him. Then when he’s in front of me I start swinging.” you punched your own hand for good measure. 
“I’m pretty sure you have to be a relative to visit someone in jail.” Eddie said. “And I’m not exactly itching to see him again, even if you decide to start a fight.”
“Okay, so my car is now on.” you said, on a roll now. “Hear me out, Eddie. You and I go to the courthouse right now and get married- I said hear me out, I’m not done-. I take your last name, use that to get into the prison to visit your dad, and then I can beat him up. I leave, we get divorced, we split with all of our own shit since we don’t have kids or shared property. Easy.”
Eddie rubbed his cheek as he laughed. “Bad idea, you’d be stuck with my last name. Munson doesn’t really get you anywhere in this town.”
“‘Lipton’ isn’t exactly doing me any favors either.” you pointed out. “Go big or go home, Eddie.”
“You are home.” he motioned to the trailer.
You weren’t, and you didn’t think you’d ever be again. 
“So, is that a no on marriage?” you asked, leaning close to him with your hand over your heart. You gave him your best pout. “I’m heartbroken.” 
“You were only going to marry me to get to my dad.” He gives you a playful shove away from him. 
“Yeah, but you’d be a bonus.” you said, blurting out the words without thinking. Ah, fuck, you weren’t supposed to be flirting. Flirting was a bad idea, a very very bad idea. You had made the decision a while ago that it was a bad idea. 
If he turned you down, it could be awkward and that could fuck up your chance to save him. If he dated you and it went badly that would make your chances worse. 
Focus on the mission, and not the way Eddie sounds when he laughs or how impossibly pretty his eyes are get your shit together and stop that-
“Nice to know you think I’m such a prize.” Eddie said casually, maybe a little too casually for how he usually talked. 
“When we divorce you can use that to fuel your music. I look forward to hearing the break-up album.” You tried to smooth your genuine flirting over by committing to the bit. 
“If I ever sell out, I’ll write our divorce album.” Eddie replied. “Until then, I’ll stick with singing about Hell and demons and references to my campaigns.” 
You don’t know why the idea of him writing songs about his campaigns made your stomach explode with butterflies, but it did. Maybe it was because you were now part of the campaigns and knowing that made you feel special. Like you were actually a part of something, part of him. 
Stop that. 
“Oh shit, I was actually doing something.” you realized and shook your head. “Right, I wasn’t just sitting here for fun. I had to go get groceries.” 
“That would explain why you were sitting in here when I found you.” Eddie agreed. “Do you... Want company?”
He wanted to go grocery shopping with you? That surprised you a lot. It almost felt domestic-
“Yeah, sure.” you agreed, pushing any other thoughts out of your head. “I need you to come anyway.”
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah, you showed me how to start the car but you didn’t tell me how to turn it off.” 
Eddie laughed and hopped out of the car so that you could scoot back into the driver's seat. He hopped in next to you and it felt like things were swapped now. You had spent weeks in his passenger seat and now he was sitting in yours. 
If this was going to be a regular occurrence, you were tempted to slap a BABY ON BOARD sticker on the back of your car. 
As you pulled out of the trailer park, Eddie rummaged around his jacket and pulled out a cassette. 
“Radio’s broke.” you warned as he stuck the tape in and pushed play. To your surprise, music started playing through the speakers. 
“Tape player isn’t.” he said, looking proud of himself. “You can keep this one.”
“Keep...?” you asked. He’d loaned to tapes before, but that was always with the promise you’d return them. 
“Yeah, I already have all these songs.” Eddie fidgeted with one of his rings casually. “I thought you might need something to fill the silence. You know, since you’re always coming over to listen to music with me.”
You really did, the quiet of being home alone had been grating on you and you had been spending as much time as you could with Eddie at his place. 
“Is this your way of giving me a hint that I’ve overstayed my welcome?” you asked wryly, feeling a knot in your stomach at the thought. 
“No! No, not that.” Eddie said quickly. “No, uh... I just thought you’d like these songs. You told me you liked a few of them.”
“So... you made me a mixtape?” you asked, trying to remain calm despite the fact that your brain was screaming. 
“I had some time to kill, and you were complaining about not having anything to listen to so...” he shrugged. 
Maybe you’d ask him to marry you for real. You didn’t even had a tape player, or anything other than your car to listen to it but you didn’t care.
Next up, get a tape player for Emergency Vecna Use. And batteries. All the batteries. You added to the endless list of to-do’s to prepare you for Hawkins High’s Spring Break. 
“Thank you.” you said, feeling genuinely touched that he went out of his way to do that for you. “Really. I’ll listen to it until it disintegrates.” 
“I’ll make you a new one when that happens.” Eddie promised. 
Conversations drifted back into easy territory after that. Hellfire, dungeons and dragons, comics, work. It felt so easy talking to him in these moments when it was just the two of you. It had been so long since that first disastrous hang out session, but somehow he’d still let you keep hanging out. 
You wished that things could be different.
For now, you just decided to do what you did best when hanging out alone with him. You pretended that your ID was legitimate, that you were some vague relative of his drug supplier, and that you two could be normal friends, doing normal things. 
For now, that would have to be enough. 
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Reader ==> Learn How to Hotwire a Car was submitted by my Green Heart Anon <3
So what would you like to see Reader do next?
Tumblr User ==> Leave A Suggestion
Dividers by @strangergraphics
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stagefoureddiediaz · 16 hours
Note
so do you think if buck and tommy don't break up in episode 6 that they're gonna be breaking up the next time tommy appears which would be in 9 or 10 and it'll be a mutual/amicable break up because of Buck realizing his feelings for Eddie?
Hey Nonnie
Why would they be breaking up in episode 6???
That’s never been a thing that would happen.
There are two options at play her really - the first is that they will come to some kind of natural conclusion in episode 9 or 10.
Or the second option is that they’ll end the season together and will end some time early in season 8.
Either way it may or may not have to do with a buck feelings realisation - neither get in the way of buddie if that is what you’re worried about. All the chess pieces are moving into place nicely - Eddie still has a way to go on his journey - he has a lot to work through and isn’t ready for Buck at all yet and the show is dropping anvils that that’s where they’re going with his arc - we just don’t have a timeline yet.
Buck getting to be happy and have a good relationship for a period - while he discovers more about himself and while Eddie does that work on himself is no bad thing. Buck will also get to grow and learn - and get to a place where he is also ready for Eddie - for forever. Because as things stand right now - I don’t think Buck would handle a feelings realisation well at all - in fact I think it would be detrimental to buddie. For starters buck doesn’t really know how to have a healthy relationship - all of his have been some level of toxic. Secondly, tying bucks newly awakened queer identity to his feelings for Eddie in that way - so quickly - would potentially send buck spiralling at this moment in time in an unhealthy way- slowly figuring it out over time as he dates Tommy is a much more interesting narrative - and plays into why they’ve chosen to have Tommy be such an obvious version of Eddie - we the audience know and can see what’s going on but oblivious buck (being true to character and being oblivious!) slowly connecting the dots - in a way that frustrates the audience - the pay off for us is far more satisfying - and it’s a more realistic story and more ground breaking for a queer love story on network television!
We don’t want them to rush together because buddie is end game - the last relationship either will ever have - so then getting to a great place individually before they start something is really great and really important.
Plus don’t forget this cat and mouse type narrative is fun too - buck fell first but didn’t realise - Eddie fell harder but didn’t realise until he got shot - then Eddie had to hide it - then he had a grief spiral ,Buck in a coma) - then he got so good at keeping it buried he started dating Marisol - at which point Buck had an almost epiphany but has mistaken it for Tommy rather than Eddie.
Eddie who is now unpacking the bit of himself that will allow him to actually embrace his queer identity. Eddie who panicked - asked Marisol to move in with him when he realised Buck was single again - then decided to only back track a bit rather than ending things when he realised Buck wasn’t in fact single and was also bi and now dating Tommy - because being single and alone when the man you’ve been in love with for so long is no longer single and is now actually in a relationship with a man - that means he was an option is not a fun place to be - so staying in a relationship that’s meh but ok is preferable to him.
Basically - the show seems to be setting this up for a full arc in 8a, leading to buddie canon. I genuinely at this point don’t think they’re doing to have any form of Eddie actually stating his queerness in the rest of 7 - I think they will continue to make it blatantly obvious thats where it’s headed but I think they’ll save his story for 8a - which is the best place for it imo - where it can be done properly.
So why shouldn’t buck get to be happy with Tommy for a bit in the meantime?? He’s earnt it!
This gif a bit out of control, but I hope it’s interesting!! 💜💜💜
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gothushi · 2 days
Text
white horse
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pairing: simon x f!reader
warnings: canon s/a, simon feeling worthless, narrative paints him as pathetic because that’s how he feels, pining, one single use of y/n
note: went in a totally different direction for this but i’m happy with it. i think he deserves the world and more. i’ve left it open to your own mind whether you’re actually in a relationship with simon or not
word count: 5k
———————♡
Hands trembling, Simon hurriedly fishes his phone from his jeans pocket. Clothes scattered on the floor, pristine motel shower, towel wrapped too tight around his waist. His heart beats so hard he fears it may just pop right out of his chest, a sick feeling in his gut as he fights back his emotions welling up. Did he go too far..?
It’s subconscious, the way he dials your phone number, anxiously listens to the ring.. ring.. until you answer with a groggy “Hello?”
He steels his nerves, inhaling sharply when he hears your voice, neck straining with the effort to not break down into pieces right there. “Did I wake you?”
“Simon?” You had answered the phone before you realized you were even awake, just now registering it’s him. “No.. no you didn’t. What’s up?” You find yourself rolling over in bed, rapidly waking up. He doesn’t call often, much to your dismay, but you understand he’s undercover and isn’t able to as much as he’d like. So, to get a call so late at night, unprompted, stirs worry in you.
He feels his breath catch in his throat, shutting his eyes for a moment, “Uh.. it’s nothing.” A half truth. It’s been six days since he last called, but it hasn’t been because he doesn’t want to. If anything, he craves the comfort of your voice. He just can’t let you know he’s not okay. That he misses you. That he craves you. “I.. I just.. wanted to check in.” Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!
He slept with Brendan. Slept with him. Let Brady touch and touch and take. He can still feel his hands all over him, his tongue on his skin, rough and sharp. Even after taking a shower, gasping for air, scrubbing his skin so hard it’s sore, washing over his growing and current bruises enough to turn them a shade darker.. it’s still there.
You can obviously tell something is wrong, can hear the way his voice wavers, how he can’t seem to find his words. Sitting up in bed, you flick on your bedside lamp and see the book you were reading discarded beside you. “I must’ve dozed off while reading, so you caught me at a nice time.” You smile, letting him hear your calm and warm tone, not wanting to push immediately.
Simon’s breath is heavy, labored. It’s audible over the phone. He can feel his throat constrict and his hands are trembling, thighs weak. Memories of Brady flash through his mind, his hands, his- It’s not like he had a choice. He has to do whatever it takes. Right? “You sound.. sleepy.” He offers, words nervous like he’s choosing them carefully, “What were you reading?” Please don’t ask please don’t ask.
You can hear it, hear his gasping, as if you were standing right in front of him. The urge to ask what the fuck is wrong is so unbearbly strong but.. you know him. Know enough to wait a moment. Glancing down at your book again, you speak, keeping a soft tone, “That series I told you about last time.. I’m already on the third book.” You laugh a little, fixing the bookmark sticking out of the pages before getting up from bed, “What are you up to?”
Even in this state, a smile touches his cut lip, remembering the previous conversation about some fantasy book you had started. “Just… getting ready for bed. Took a shower.” Another half truth. He’s still wearing the damp towel, stood in the too bright bathroom and avoiding his own eyes in the mirror. He looks awful. “The book’s good?”
“Yeah,” your bare feet pad downstairs, going to the kitchen to get a drink, “I’m breezing through it, but the series isn’t even finished so once I’m caught up I’ll have to wait for the next book.”
This is nice, it’s helping to start to calm him down a little.. but.. his jaw clenches with the effort of holding back a sob. Brady’s hands yanking his shirt up, tongue licking his skin, roughly flipping him over with strength he never wants to feel again, bared before him whilst his lip drips blood onto the wooden floor. His eyes dart to his reflection. He looks.. defeated. Beaten. Bruises adorn his sides, jaw, lip bloody and rapidly scabbing over. The shower did nothing to wash away the ache in his bones, did nothing to cleanse the feeling of being used, his hands, the nails that scratched his back and the pressure of another body atop him.
“Simon?”
It’s too much. Did he go too far? He’s completely broken himself and for what? Revenge? Justice? Cam? Is it worth it? Of course it is. Anything for his baby brother. Even if it shatters him fully.
“Y.. yeah.” It’s whispered out, realizing he hadn’t spoken. The silence between the two of you lingers. He can hear the shutting of your fridge, the way that certain hallway floorboard creaks under your feet as you go back upstairs. It’s comforting really, let’s him know you’re there, real.
Back in your room with a glass of water, you sit back on the edge of your bed, taking a swallow of the cold liquid, “Simon.. what’s wrong?”
There it is.
The way you ask him.. makes his chest ache, and his voice cracks when he answers. He hasn’t told you much about what he has to do while he’s undercover but.. you’re intelligent. You can put things together. He takes a deep breath, willing himself to steady the shakiness of his breath and to not cry. “I..” his voice catches in his throat, almost raw, and he takes a couple more forced breaths.
He can’t. He’ll cry. His throat is tight, eyes blurring with tears. Brendan even patted his head like a dog when he was done.
“Did something happen with Brady? Are you safe?” Had you been more awake, that would’ve been the first thing you asked, if he were safe.
His throat trembles again at the mention of his name. “I’m okay..” he says, voice strained. “Just.. I’m..” He feels like he’s about to crack open entirely. He’s barely got it together as is, a few words and he might fall apart right now.
You know he wouldn’t lie to you if he were to be in danger, if he were at risk of being caught or something, so that eases your worry by only a millimeter. The tone of his voice, hoarse, how he can’t find his words.. “What happened love?” It comes out oh so softly, as if you were speaking to an abandoned animal.
It hurts. It all hurts. His bruises, where he was abused, deep in his chest, his head, it aches all over and he just wishes it were gone.
He nearly bursts into tears right there just from that, as pathetic as it may be. Another deep breath as he finds the words he’s been searching for. I shouldn’t be telling her this. “Just.. Brendan and I..” His hands are trembling, fingered curled around his phone until his knuckles are white.
“Simon.. tell me.” You urge softly. You need to know. Something is eating him apart to the bone and you can tell.
He can’t help it, he’s breaking and his voice quivers a bit. “We slept together.”
His throat hitches when he says it. He hates the way those words sound put together, hates that they’re even true.
It stuns you for a moment, you didn’t know what to expect but.. pieces are clicking in your head and your own throat tightens for a moment, “Simon.. you..” You can’t cry. You won’t. For him. Not yet. “You didn’t want it… did you?”
His legs feel weak, like he might collapse. Breathing is a foreign concept to him as he swallows down more tears, trying to will them back as he glances upwards at the white ceiling. “N.. no.”
His chest is caving in on itself, the reality of it actually hitting him. And the worst part? Come morning he has to do it all over again, slip into that facade he’s been playing for months. The thought makes him nauseous.
Silence lingers for just a few moments as you process the information. You want to begin crying, to weep for him before it’s even fully settled in what happened but you can’t you won’t, you have to be strong for him. “Does he..” you form the words as soft as possible, “Does he know you didn’t want it?”
Brendan tossed him around, punched, kicked, threw him overtop the little table that shattered under his weight, the ceramic lamp cracking and cutting a spot on his hand, his lip. They had been arguing before, that’s what spurred it on. But he needed to get to Brendan, to be trusted. So he played coy, tilted his head.. and kissed him. He formed the plan so quickly in his head he didn’t have time to think of the consequences.
“No..” He whispers. “I had… I had to. Had to act like I did.”
“Oh.. Simon..”
The rooms too bright, such a stark contrast to the darkness of the rest of the motel room. He has no where that feels safe to hide away, heart beating at his chest. A sob escapes him before he can stop it, holding the phone tight to his ear. I didn’t have a choice. This is the only way. This was the only way.. It repeats over and over in his head like a mantra, though the words do little to ease his pain. Knees hit the wet tile floor uncomfortably as he shakes with the effort of holding back his cries, rasped pants escaping him.
You have no choice but to just listen to him break. Your brows knit together in worry and you steady your own breathing, trying to remain calm even though pure sadness and anger flood your veins. “Simon.. love, breathe..” He’s panting too hard.
He wants to scream, weep until he passes out, but he tries. He tries. “I… I need you.”
He wants your comfort, needs it. Needs your gentleness, your warmth.. even if he doesn’t deserve it.
A frown forms on your lips. He can’t, it wouldn’t be safe. At least that’s what you think right now, have been told before. Even though you crave to hold him, to cradle him, whatever he wants. “I’m here.. I’m right here. Breathe..”
He just wants to lay next to you, to forget everything. Forget Brady’s wandering hands. He inhales a skaky breath, “I just-.. don’t wanna be alone. I just want you next to me… even if I don’t deserve it.”
“Of course you deserve it.” There’s zero hesitation, “You deserve the world Simon… after.. after everything you’ve done..” All this for his baby brother, laid in the hospital.
“I know.. I just..” Simon takes another raspy breath, fingers hurting with how tight he holds his phone. He wants to beg. He wants to tell you to come get him. All he wants is you. Needs you to tell him everything is going to be okay. “I wish you were here.”
“I am, I’m right here.. I promise.” The walls too cold against his bare arm as he slumps against it, chest heaving. “I’m sorry.. I can’t imagine how much you’re hurting.”
“It’s not just the hurting..” He whispers back, barely able to force the words out. It’s like his heart’s trying to claw it’s way up his throat. Tears burn his eyes, wetting his cheeks and sticking to his lashes. “I hated it.. I hated having to… to.. touch him. I know it’s for-.. I-.. he thinks I enjoyed it and I wish I could just-.. wipe it all from my mind.” It’s a miracle he’s even able to speak right now, even though getting the words out is like nails on a chalkboard. Unbearable.
Blinking back tears of your own, you ask, “Simon..” you would never once doubt his love for Cam but.. “Is it worth it? Will.. doing this all be worth putting him in jail?”
“It has to be..” He has to believe those words. It has to be worth it. He has to believe it. “If it just stopped now.. then it would all be for nothing.” That’s what he has to believe, otherwise.. who knows, maybe it is.
A slight nod to yourself, understanding his words. Cam wouldn’t want.. this.. The thought crosses your mind but God, you’d never say that out loud to him. “You just.. have to keep him convinced.” You confirm softly, understanding his actions.
“Yeah..” He whispers again, raspy. His thumb rubs up and down on the side of his phone. “I just.. wish this was over now.” His voice cracks with another sob.
You heart breaks, tears welling up in your eyes as you exhale softly, “Sweetheart..” How can he do this..? How can he manage to keep this front up with Brady? Your heart is just breaking and you want nothing more than to kill Brady with your own hands.
“It’s just..” His words come separated, panting, crying, “It’s all so hard.” His eyes squeeze shut, head pounding with a deep ache that may never go away.”I don’t-.. how much longer do I have to do this?” He whimpers.
This case is important to him… to get justice for Cam.. to lock Brady up.. but..
“I don’t want you to do it anymore..” You breathe out, tears spilling over your lash line.
He tenses at your words, even his breathing halting, “I have to do it..” His eyes squeeze shut again so tightly they hurt, deep behind his eyelids. A couple of shakey inhales and exhales before he speaks again, “Please.. just please don’t ask me to stop.” If I stop, then I’ll hate myself more than I already do..
Your heart is breaking. It’s cracking into two and you have no idea how to stop it. You can’t. “Okay.. I won’t..” You curl up beneath the covers, leaving your bedside lamp on. The call now on speaker, you set the phone beside your pillow. A weak little thank you comes from him, whimpered, tired. “Just… don’t hold it in. Please… I’m right here and ‘m not leaving, so just let it out..” Your voice is pleading, knowing he only has tonight before going back to playing the part. Know he has to get his emotions out now before they’re shoved back down again.
He’s still white knuckling his phone, trembling, slumped against the cold tile wall as the light above the sink hums annoyingly. “I…” He felt stupid, as the tears begin to flow again, another sob clawing its way out of his throat, “I hate this.”
“I know..” You wish you were with him. You haven’t seen him in months. “Just breathe..”
Another strangled sob, words cut off, “I wish I was with you..” He’s so afraid..
“I know.. I know..” You try to soothe, keeping your voice steady even as tears slip into your hairline as you lay in bed, finger rubbing along the side of your phone like you wish it were his face you were caressing.
He feels weak, pathetic. He wishes he were strong enough to handle the fact that he’s alone in this, but he doesn’t want to. Wants you. Needs the safety of your presence, your touch, to bury himself in your chest and never move.
“Hey.. y’said you took a shower right? Why don’t you get dressed and get into bed..” The suggestion leaves you in a soft voice, like you’re speaking to a child. Despite not being there physically, you want to help the best you can.
“I.. yeah, I did.” Laid against the wall, his tired eyes scan the floor where his shirt and underwear lay before out into the dark room. He takes the time to get to his feet, nearly stumbling, trying to follow your instructions. He’s thirsty, so he gets a glass of water from the tap and downs the entire thing before getting dressed, eyes trained on the increasing time of the phone call to keep himself reassured that you’re there, before crawling into bed.
“All comfy?” Your voice almost startles him as he lays his head down. The bed is.. alright. The blankets are soft, fleece, bringing a contrasting warmth to the chill his damp hair sends through him.
“Yeah.. I...” A moment of silence passes before he resumes speaking, his voice so quiet, “Can I ask you something..?”
“Of course.” He could ask for the moon and stars and you’d present them in the palms of your hands.
“What would you do if I asked you to come and get me..?”
That would ruin everything, his mission, and he’ll never be able to look his Lieutenant in the eyes again, maybe even be fired. It’d also risk you, put you in danger. He knows all that, yet, the desire to have you here right now still lingers. Selfishly, he wants you.
“I’d do it.” No hesitation. That seems to be a theme for you and him. You stare at your phone, hoping this is him asking. You’d do anything for him, yearn to hand him anything he desires.
“You’d.. you’d come?” He’s almost certain this would ruin everything, all these months for absolutely nothing… but would.. would it really? Is this worth what it’s doing to him? “Please.. just…” He trails off, thoughts battling each other.
You, on the other end, stay dead silent. If you let your lips part, you’ll start begging him to let you come. Beg for him to leave it all behind, consequences be damned. So you wait, swallowing, listening to his even breathing as he sniffles.
…..
“Could… could you come get me? Please?”
There, he’s done it.
You’ve already begun sitting up before the words finished leaving him, picking up your phone. You stand, feeling the wave of panic and relief flood your system, blowing out the candle you had lit, “Are you sure?”
“Yes.. please.” It’s almost a sob, maybe it is one. Tears start to soak his face again, “Just please come get me. I don’t want to be alone. I-.. I wanna see you.”
There’s no thinking anymore as you rush downstairs, shoving your feet into the nearest sneakers you find and grabbing your keys. Simon can hear the front door shut and gravel crunch beneath your feet as you get into your car. “I need to know where you are.” The engine of your car purrs to life, already backing out. He weeps out the motel name, the bed and breakfast showing up as nearly forty-five minutes away once entered into your GPS. Fuck.
He wants to beg, continue to plead as he wails into his pillow, muffled. He doesn’t know how long he lays there, half asleep, body in survival mode and trying to shut down all in the same breath. You make the drive in thirty minutes, your voice startling him out of his half dozed state, “Love? You awake?”
“Mm..” Simon blinks, focusing on his phone, heart speeding up, “Yeah.. yes.. I’m awake.”
“I’m outside.” This almost doesn’t feel real. After being separated for so long and now you’re just… here. You have to stay strong, get him out of here first. Your eyes scan over the big buildings with multiple rooms, seeing the dim lights on them. A silver car is parked a few spaces away from yours and… next to it, Simon’s bike. There’s some shuffling, sniffling, feet thudding on the floor before the call ends and movement catches your eye. Up on the second floor of one of the buildings, the door opens and a tall figure slips out, jacket over his arm. He’s walking with a limp, and the sight of him makes you almost start to wail. You sniffle and wipe at your eyes, leaning over to unlock the passenger door and push it open as he nears.
He looks a mess. His lip is cut, eyes sunken and tired, face wet with smeared tears. He slips into the passenger seat, not even daring to look at you and neither do you dare to continue to stare at his face for a moment longer. You can’t, you’ll break. However you waste no time reversing from the parking spot and driving off, back out onto the road in the direction you came. It’s silent for five entire minutes and you don’t dare stop, just in case, but you do however reach and blindly grab his hand, linking your fingers together. Part of you fears he won’t even want to be touched, but it’s squashed with the way he clutches onto you for dear life.
You’re actually here. With him. You’re really here and he’s really out. He breathes in deep, trying to calm his racing heart, stow his emotions for now. Even just being in your car helps, because it smells familiar. Even as more stifled sobs leave him, he doesn’t let go of your hand, squeezing so tight it must hurt you.
He’s nearly cried himself to sleep again, barely feeling the way the car jostles as you pull into your driveway, the gate sliding shut behind your car. Undoing your seatbelt and reaching over, you undo his and slowly unlink your hands, not daring to look at his face yet. “C’mon, let’s get inside..” He listens, slowly, following you up to the front door, taking in the surroundings of your house again. Garage to the right, big gate and large brick walls lining the property. He’s been here countless times but.. oh.. the warmth he feels as you both step inside. A table to the right along the wall for your keys, coats hung up on a wall rack to the left, shoes scattered on the tile entrance way floor. You push open the door to the main hallway, the heart of the house, and he feels so much better.
You finally turn to look at him, both stood in the middle of the hallway, and in the dim light you fear he may see the way you crack open a bit.
He looks… broken. A bruise covers his jaw, scabbed over cut on his lip, eyes red and wet, cheeks flushed yet he’s pale. Bags hang under his eyes, dull, sad. Your hand reaches up instinctively, but you pause mid action, as if it’ll scare him.
He blinks slowly, sniffling, your touch so close yet so far.
But you pull back, “Go upstairs, get in bed. I’ll bring you some water, okay?”
He obeys, feeling comforted by your voice, the simple instruction. He doesn’t need to be pointed to the stairs, the carpet plush under his socked feet as he somehow makes it up there without his legs giving out. Not even considering the guest bedroom, he goes to yours, crawling underneath the duvet and he almost sobs again at the warmth, the smell, you. It smells like lavender and vanilla, the candle you have on your bedside table, mattress made up with a different bedspread than he remembers.
After a minute he hears your footsteps, watches as you come inside with a glass of water, kneeling onto the bed to offer it to him. Now he notices you’re in some pajamas, a cute matching set that he’d compliment if not for the circumstances. He sits up on an elbow, taking the offered drink and sipping some of the ice cold water, before handing it back to you with a whispered thank you. You set it aside and just stare, really looking at him now. “Simon…”
It’s obvious how tired he is, and the way he stares back up at you makes him feel vulnerable, not in a bad way though. “..yes?” His voice is small, barely a whisper. He’s feeling so many overwhelming emotions and doesn’t know which one to settle on. He feels grateful, safe, even though the last thing he feels he deserves is your forgiveness and warmth.
However you reach out again, mirroring your action in the hallway, pausing before your skin meets his, ‘Can I..?” Your fingers curl into your palm, nervous he won’t want the touch.
But he does want it, wants it so badly. To feel the comfort of your hand, the love of your fingers… Simon reaches up, his own hand curving around your wrist. He tugs softly, pulling your hand forward, feeling the tickling touch of your fingertips before you lean more into it and cradle his cheek. His eyes flutter, he could start crying again, if he had any more tears in him. He whimpers as his hand drops from your wrist, pushing into the touch with his eyes closed. The warmth on his bruised jaw feels so good, so safe. He looks so defeated, so broken, he’s had everything ripped away from him except you.
“Y/N..” Simon utters, it’s all he can do.
You’re so gentle, as if calming a skittish animal, thumb gently brushing the cut on his lip. “I’m right here…”
It almost brings tears to his eyes again. This is where he feels safest.
“I’m sorry..” He leans into your hand, the touch slowing his heart, and for the first time in he doesn’t know how long, he relaxes.
A frown finds its way to your lips, cradling his face, “What for?” you ask back, keeping your voice just as low as his.
“For.. everything, for..” The words won’t fully come to him, eyes fluttering halfway open as he gazes up at you, watering again, “I’m sorry, I..”
You shift, laying down ontop of the covers whilst he’s tucked under them. Your other hand comes up, and you falter for just a fraction of a second before it slides against his other cheek, cradling his face in your palms. “You have nothing to be sorry for Simon.”
He can’t help it, the moment you lay down he reaches out and pulls you close. His arms loop around you in a hug, burying his face against your neck. “I missed you.” He sniffles, lip wobbling against your skin. You cradle him back, one arm curling under his head for support and the other loops over him, hand finding his hair and petting it gently. It almost startles him, because Brendan did the same thing, albeit rougher, but your hand is so… it feels much nicer, your fingers tangling into the clean locks and scratching at his scalp.
“I missed you.”
The sensation of you caress is enough to make him curl into you more, face pressed against the base of your neck. Simon inhales deeply, smelling your body wash, the compassionate hug making him relax. His arms are tense though, as if he’s scared you’ll be taken from his grasp. Fingers paw at your back, pressing into your shirt, feeling. He needs to know you’re real. And you know that, so you let him even if it hurts a little, “Do you want me to turn the light off?” He answers with a shake of his head, a quiet ‘mm mm’, trying to wiggle impossibly closer. Now that he has you he doesn’t want to let go, fearful you’ll slip away.
“Do you.. want me under the covers?” Even if it sounds silly you have to ask for permission, petting your hand down his hair and over the nape of his neck, where Brendan’s lips were.
One little word slips from him, “Please..”
He is tired, exhausted, sore and scared, but the thought of snuggling with you, feeling your heat, your body against him, is enough to keep him awake. Your hand on his nape brings a small whimper from him, he’s so relieved you haven’t pulled away from him. He feels used, like he doesn’t deserve this touch, but here you are. Your nails scrape over his skin and it makes him shiver in a good way, bringing back memories, a comforting feeling.
A whispered okay is your response, twisting to lift the duvet up and slide yourself under it. He’s immediately pulling you into his arms again, right to his front so not an inch is found between you. The touch makes his heart race, nuzzling back into your neck, breathing in your scent like a hungry animal. He whimpers again, clinging to you for dear life.
“Shh.. I’ve got you, you’re safe.” Your chin is ontop of his head, hand back in his hair to pet and scratch, soothing him. The sensation is enough to break him completely. His lip wobbles again, blinking as tears flood his eyes, legs tangled with yours. He’s really here.. It’s all over.. he doesn’t have to go back.. He can feel your heartbeat, steady and solid. The moment the tears slip from his eyes, his grasp on you tightens desperately. He buries himself closer, wanting nothing, not even oxygen, just you.
“Don’t..” He chokes out, trembling, hiccuping a little cry.
You give him a squeeze, cradling his head and keeping him close, “What?” You whisper, “What d’you need Simon?” It’s pleading. Anything. You’ll do anything for him.
“Don’t let go. Please.. Don’t.” His fingers tense again so much they hurt, wanting to make sure you don’t fall through his grip. He needs you now more than he’s ever needed you before, your hands in his hair, your heartbeat sounding in his ears.
“I won’t.” You tilt your head down, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, “I promise. You can go to sleep, I’ll be here, I’m not leaving.” Your hand tangles in his hair in a light grip, enough for him to know you’re there. Leaning into him, he grasps so hard it hurts, but you’d prefer the bruises of his fingertips over the absence of his body.
This is all he needs, all he wants. Forget everything else, he doesn’t want to turn to that life anymore, wants to forget it all and stay hidden away tucked beneath your duvet. Reality can wait.
———————♡
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emilybahu · 1 day
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I love 9-1-1 so much!
I have fallen in love with tv shows before, watching episodes religiously as they aired weekly. 9-1-1 has been different for me though, it’s become more like an obsession. In some ways that’s bad, it’s consuming my mind a lot of times and it’s distracting me from other things I need to get done. However, really getting into the fandom of this show has also been wonderful for me, it’s made me so happy, actually getting involved with other fans and talking to people the last couple months has been so fun! You all are amazing, funny, talented people and I’m truly grateful that I’ve been able to interact with you!
Now, I’ve heard about some toxicity within the fandom, Buddie and BuckTommy shippers turning against each other and fighting about what’s best for the characters. (Which btw, isn’t really up to us anyway)
I personally haven’t seen a lot of that, who knows, maybe I’m just ignoring it because I don’t want to see it. Either way I always try to keep a very open and and neutral stance when it comes to shipping. I let myself enjoy the stories, the edits, the fan art, and the speculation. However, I also try to stay grounded in the reality of what’s happening in the movie/book/tv show.
When it comes to 9-1-1 right now, between Buddie and BuckTommy I’m not picking sides. I like both ships the same, and I don’t think that’s gonna change any time soon. I really, really enjoy both ships! (Plus the fan fiction for both are amazing, so I’m LIVING)
Buddie is part of the reason that I started watching in the first place, Buck and Eddie are my favorite characters. I love them both to death, and regardless of their relationship status they have something special, no one can deny that! Their friendship is beautiful and deep, they do truly love each other, they’re family, they will always be there for each other whether or not they end up in a romantic relationship. I’m honestly just happy to see them together in any capacity. And yes, I will happy, overjoyed even, if they decide to make Buddie cannon, but I’ll also be happy if their relationship remains as it is.
As far as Buck and Tommy go I was surprised when the kiss happened, but OH MY GOD… I was totally there for it! I’m actually really happy with this storyline so far, (even if the second hand embarrassment nearly killed me during the first date)I think that they’ll be great together, I really can’t wait to see them getting to know each other more! Wherever this goes, I’m here for it! I’m excited to see Buck explore his bisexuality with Tommy, and learn about himself through this relationship. I’m also excited to learn more about Tommy! And if they don’t end up being very long term, I really hope that they stay friends.
I’m really enjoying being into a ship that’s canon for once, it makes me really happy. I don’t think there’s ever been a ship (apart from these ones) that I’ve been into that have even had a remote chance of becoming cannon (Stucky… my first love!)
Anyway, I digress, the writers and the actors KNOW these characters, we know that if something felt off it the story, they’d want to do right by the characters. We know for a fact how much Oliver and Ryan love Buck and Eddie, and if it feels right and true to them Buddie will happen. If it doesn’t feel right to put them in a romantic relationship, to me, it’s fine because regardless we have these two men with an absolutely beautiful and meaningful friendship, and I’m always here for that!
All of this to say, all this fighting about “who’s right for who” isn’t doing anyone any good. I mean we’re all in this fandom because we love this show RIGHT!? Being on platforms like this is meant to bring us TOGETHER!
SO WHY THE HELL ARE SOME OF US TRYING TO RIP EACH OTHER APART BECAUSE WE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS ON A DAMN SHIP!?
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions after all… so yeah, share your opinion, just don’t be rude about it. Putting someone down because they disagree with you doesn’t make you right… it just makes you mean. It scares people away, maybe makes them feel like they’re not safe in this community. I’ve seen it a couple times too, with myself and others, being afraid to make a post because of the possibility of hate.
In my experience you’re meant to feel safe in a fandom, in a community because you’re sharing your love for something with others who love it just as much as you do! We should love each other like we love these characters!
To conclude, all I need is for our boys to be happy, that’s really all we should care about here anyway. It shouldn’t necessarily matter who’s dating who, as long as they’re HAPPY! I’m really just along for the ride, I’m here for whatever they decide to do with Buddie and/or BuckTommy in the future. Buck and Eddie are my loves, and we barely know Tommy, but I’m starting to like him already, as long as they’re happy, I am too!
Thank you for reading my TedTalk…
Sorry if it doesn’t sound completely coherent, stringing words together isn’t always my strong suit…🫠
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justallihere · 3 days
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I️ LOVE and ADORE Xaden going from “I️ don’t care about you or your feelings 🙄” to “Why wouldn’t I️ come for you and take you home? 🥺”
It really reminds me of this post where someone made the commentary about Xaden refusing to coddle and be nice to Violet, even downright being an asshole about it
To giving her his flight jacket because gods forbid Violet be cold for the 2-3 minutes they would’ve stood in formation!
Love love love that growth for him, like yes king! Tell us how much you love her through your actions! Give her that flight jacket and everything!
Chapter 35 was such a GIFT! I️ loved it so much! From Mira and Xaden shelving their dislike for each other for V’s sake and just mother henning her! Loved Xaden taking care of her and reaffirming that she can be upset at the threat against her hair and the autonomy she would have been robbed of, had Aetos actually cut it. I️ love how gentle he was, making sure she was okay, even arguing with Tairn about it on the flight home because their whole dynamic in canon is just over protective dragon meets over protective enemy to mutually assured destruction to lovers, and amari give us mercy that Violet gets injured around either one of them.
I️ was so shocked and legit almost cried at the confession because bby boy X was NOT letting her think that he didn’t love her! Really gives a whole “Aretia could burn and I️ wouldn’t care as long as I️ had you.” vibe to it and I️. Am. Not. Okay!!! I️ am not normal or sane about this love confession! V is getting some HONESTY out of this man without having to jump through 5 million hoops or questions about it. X really just said it with both tiddies and his full chest!!
I️ also really loved the display of Rhi and Xaden’s conversation. He knows how much Rhi means to Violet, and having her best friend with her is the best thing for her! I’m so nervous and excited to see if you include a convo with the rest of the squad about her torture sessions and just showing how much they all love her! Cam was right! Everyone who knows Violet Sorrengail is a little bit in love with her!!
I’m curious if Violet is gonna think about how she basically begged for her mom to come with them to Aretia, when she was freed and I️ wonder what Xaden would have done if Lilith had actually planned to go with her daughter… thoughts and theories I️ suppose!!
God Alli, there are so many little things about this chapter that I️ adored and so little time to write about it! I LOVE this fic so much that I️ always am ready to read the next chapter immediately! So ready!! I️ hope this doesn’t pressure you too much but I️ did want to say that I️ adore this fic so much!! 10/10 would highly recommend!!
Also I️ hope my sleep-deprived ramblings made sense lol! Thank you for such a wonderful story and I️ cant wait for the next chapter 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Xaden’s growth has been so fun to write. Just the little moments of his growing respect for Violet, realizing he actually likes her, falling in love—it’s been one of my favorite things about this fic
Thank you! I had a great time with the two contrasting sides of Xaden in this chapter: the version of him who loves Violet and will wipe her tears and do anything for her, and the version that is just an absolute asshole to anyone who isn’t her 😂 if your name isn’t Violet Sorrengail he really doesn’t give a fuck
There’s some squad bonding next chapter 🫶🏻
Violet will definitely be reckoning with that conversation with her mom at some point—Lilith said she’d come, but will she really? Xaden would let it happen for Violet, of course, but it wouldn’t be an easy adjustment lol
Thank you so much for reading and for this ask, I appreciate you 🩷🩷🩷
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cryptvokeeper · 11 months
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Yknow what the post abt rise mischaracterization in the fandom finally motivated me to say it out loud: Leo’s whole deal in the Rottmnt movie was not him not wanting to be leader, it was his ego. Whether you headcanon him as already being leader in the movie or Raph still being leader, his flaw is a confidence problem, and not in the sadboy way.
He literally says it outright at the beginning of the movie: they beat the shredder, they have super cool mystic powers, they’re badass ninjas, they don’t need to be careful or take things seriously because nothing can touch them. When Casey Jr. Comes back talking about how he was “the greatest ninja who ever lived” that just makes Leo even more cocky, enough to push through any guilt or doubt that Raph got captured cuz of him until he finally gets a wake up call from Casey in the elevator shaft. “It’s not about me” is not supposed to be some toxic self sacrificing mentality it’s supposed to be him finally thinking about something besides himself for the greater good.
and thematically, the problem being his ego is way more fitting for the story, because it’s a character flaw he shares with the main antagonists! The Kraang are SUPER egotistical. They view their conquering of the worlds they invade to be a good thing because they’re bringing the Kraang’s ‘glory’ to undeserving life forms. Kraang prime specifically gets super mad when Raph chips at that ego, pointing out how if they’re so great, then why did they get locked away for thousands of years? They say that they “improved” Raph by Kraangifying him and right before Leo fights him, during Kraang prime’s monologue he says “I am a gift!”
like I almost understand the urge to make Leo’s whole deal during the movie a lack of confidence rather than the other way around, because they’re just so blatant with what the theme is that exploring it in fan content is almost redundant. But I just gotta say something cuz sometimes I’m reading fanfic or whatever and feel like I’m going crazy and that I watched a totally different movie.
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south-sea · 3 months
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extremely tempted to keep black moth canonically alive actually
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horang-07 · 6 months
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FNAF SPOILERS! SCROLL! TALKING ABOUT THE SPRINGLOCK SCENE!
i’ve seen so many people discussing the springlock scene in both negative and positive ways and i think it brings up really cool points about how matthew played that scene and balanced fan expectations with his own characterisation.
i think the discussions around this movie have rlly exposed the disconnect between fanon and canon in fnaf, especially talking abt the core games in isolation, bc frankly in the game universe (ignoring the books) we get Very Little characterisation for William other than the obvious, but Matthew managed to add so much in the way he talks and his body language.
in the reveal scene, we see afton at arguably his peak. in his first scene, he comes off as somewhat demeaning and judgemental until he recognises mike’s name, at which point he seems to have this nervous energy, rushing to cover it up but stumbling slightly, his reaction to the tables being turned even slightly is massive.
this is a man who committed multiple mrdrs in essentially broad daylight, hid the bodies in the most obvious place, and still got away with it, and then kept the crime scene as a trophy of his actions, and an ongoing prison sentence for his victims. he has been in complete control for decades, and is confident that he can deal with any kind of threat quickly. his confidence in his reveal is palpable
it changes when vanessa shoots him. the whole parallel with vanessa and the animatronics is hugely interesting too- how william refers to the animatronics almost endearingly as “kids” when he wants them to obey, how both vanny and the animatronics have an unearned loyalty to him, almost a pseudo-adoption through what he did to them, taking them from their parents and keeping them under his thumb, forever stuck as naive, forgiving, obedient children. vanessa breaking from that control shakes him, but the mask slips back into place almost immediately.
then, he’s outsmarted by the brother of one of his victims, and the child he planned to end next. his pseudo-children turn on him and he can no longer manipulate his appearance or shed his skin to escape. he explodes on them, and his language is incredibly telling that he is being dishonest.
he calls them small, trying to belittle them into submission, even though they are ten feet tall metal animatronics powered by rage. he is grasping at straws to regain control, and failing miserably.
finally, the springlocks go off. the locks in the movie look more like a ribcage, so the first two likely puncture his lungs. they’re slow, and painful, but he doesn’t scream or beg or sob. he grunts and groans, gritting his teeth and only letting out sounds of pain that sound almost involuntary. there is no way in hell he would visibly let himself show weakness or pain in front of these creatures that he believes he has control over. he isn’t brought to his knees until there are eight metal spikes embedded in his abdomen. he doesn’t let the mask fall for even a second, until he literally PUTS THE ACTUAL MASK ON and finally collapses. even then, he’s fighting for consciousness, twitching and writhing with no control over his body. william afton thrives on control, and his soul will not rest until he gets it back.
it’s why he keeps the pizzeria- he always comes back. he can’t help but return to the scene of the crime, putting on his old costume, continuing his killings. he revels in being a constant threat on the horizon. and now, he knows he is going to die, and he knows the suit will bring him back, and noone will be able to get rid of him then. so he puts the mask back on, and waits.
in terms of the sfx- they’re pretty accurate. with stab wounds, you need to leave the knife in the wound as long as possible for best chance of survival, as it stops the blood from escaping. in terms of the springlocks, there wouldn’t be copious amounts of blood as the locks are keeping the wounds filled- which is good because it means a slower, more painful death.
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brabblesblog · 5 months
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A reason to beat again
A small, non-canon compliant drabble.
What if vampire hearts beat again when they fall in love?
Read on AO3.
Masterlist.
He first notices it in the underdark.
A soft fluttering in his breast, as he sits by the campfire. He’d been looking at you, but that was nothing new. Lately, that was all he’d been doing during quiet moments in your journey.
In that moment he’d been watching you laugh as Gale regaled you with yet another tale of his days in the academy. He gasps, a hand quietly coming up to his chest. Was he being poisoned? Cursed?
He immediately seeks the refuge of his tent, closing the flap as he goes inside. The feeling was odd, and it went as fast as it had come.
Days pass. And the fluttering happens with increasing frequency.
He hides whenever it happens. Sometimes, it’ll be in the heat of battle. He’d be watching you and see you almost get hit - and there it is, that fluttering in his breast where his heart used to beat.
Used to.
Right?
He shakes his head. It’s impossible. Vampires are undead. He is undead. He has been for two centuries.
But he feels it anyway. When you’re close. When he drinks from you. When you laugh. When your hand touches him.
He ignores that feeling as best as he could, just like how he tries to ignore that growing affection for you.
He caves in, eventually. He tells you of his feelings, of what he was initially trying to do. He expects you to be hurt, to lash out.
But you hug him.
Pressed against your body, he feels that flutter again. For a second, he assumes he’s feeling your heart. But no. There are two beats there. Not one.
You’re too focused on the hug to notice the change. His eyes widen at the realization of what has happened. What has been happening all this time. Slowly, he lets the feeling in. Lets you in.
It’s not a flutter anymore. It’s a beat. Slow, and very much unlike a living heart, but it still does beat.
Not long after, when you have developed a habit of sleeping over in his tent, you finally notice it.
You’re lying on his chest as he reads a book. Your eyes are half-closed, resting, when you finally hear a slow, constant thudding. You’re so used to hearing your own heart race when you’re with him, so missing a sound so subtle made sense.
“What was-“ you begin to say, trying to get up and ask him what on earth that was. You know for a fact when you slept together at the clearing that he had no heartbeat. You tap his chest questioningly.
He puts his book away, and looks down at you. He smiles. His hand finds your hair, stroking it lazily.
“I was wondering when you’d notice.”
You frown, trying to think of an explanation. “You’ve started feeding on my blood. Mine and our enemies’. Thinking creatures,” you say, more to yourself than anything. You’re enjoying this, teasing out the puzzle of his heart.
He laughs, a soft bark of sound in the silence of the evening.
“Don’t flatter yourself, darling. Your blood - or that of goblins and gnomes - isn’t that miraculous,” he drawls. “This.. doesn’t usually happen.”
Then again, vampires usually don’t fall in love, either.
“Then what?” You quirk an eyebrow at him, challenging him. “Because I’m pretty sure that wasn’t there before.”
He thinks it through for a moment, then lets his guard down. His eyes widen and he cups your cheek. It’s not often that he does this, but lately you’ve been seeing it more often in your quiet moments together.
“I think.. it just found a reason to beat again,” he murmurs. He looks away immediately, embarrassed at the raw vulnerability of the moment.
You know not to lean too much into this moment. Instead you offer him a retreat into the safety of banter.
“I’m actually stunned. I didn’t even think you had a heart, Astarion,” you say, a grin forming on your lips.
He takes your offer gratefully, slipping back into it without missing a beat.
“Darling,” he scoffs, playing up the offended expression on his face, “I’m hurt. Here I am, treating you so nicely, and you think I’m heartless?”
His hands move to pin you down and tickle you, and the conversation dies and becomes cursing and screaming, as you try to fight him off.
And deep inside his chest, his heart soars.
Taglist: @elora-the-slutty-songstress @tragedybunny @spacebarbarianweird
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Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 4
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Propaganda
Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):
#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show
We didn’t do hot Glenn summer for him to LOSE. Spoilers for his story but MORE PROPAGANDA FOR YOU:
Young hot rocker dilf
Loyal to his dead wife <3
Does in fact smoke weed
BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)
His band was a Christmas cover band btw.
Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy
Anti government (ofc)
Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)
Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??
Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch
One incredibly buff arm
Has a pet rat named after his son <3
Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged
OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE
HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON
A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)
HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS
IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED
Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence
Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!
I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.
Listen, I don't know this other character but I've seem some good arguments for her However Consider Glenn Close winning through no effort of his own in a bullshit way despite being a dick is the most in character thing ever. He leveled up three times and got a crab mech, we GOT to give him this win, it's fitting
I don’t regulate if minors follow me or not bc I’m a pretty chill space but I hope the world is aware that’s the only reason I haven’t been downright nasty about Glenn close. I’m down bad. I’m NOT in the boat of ‘Glenn isn’t sexy but I want him to win bc it’s my fandom’. I would estimate I have 200+ drawings of Glenn on my phone that AREN’T safe for work. Way more that are. Where did they come from? That’s MY business. But I tell you this fact to assure you- Glenn IS sexy. I’m not voting to represent my fandom I’m voting out of TRUTH AND LOVE. IF YOU DON’T GET IT YOU DON’T GET IT!!! I just think my level of feral over this man is more powerful than y’all realize. If you don’t get his sex appeal that’s okay, but don’t doubt that this is my truth.
Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so
HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. Do you think pickman needs this to feel good about herself? Can she not accept a loss for the sake of a pathetic father? Can she shake hands with the minivan fucker and his human gun and just take the L on this one? He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.
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Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.
Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.
Lup (The Adventure Zone: Balance):
Is somehow the hot twin between her and Taako
Lup Bluejeans (née... Taaco? Tacco? Taco? Tako? who tf knows this is why I'm going with her husband's last name. doylistly she gets her last name from her brother whose last name is given as "Taako again but spelled differently"): Hot, funny, smart and undead. Is there anything else you could want in a woman?? Well, in case there is: she's also canonically trans
LUP IS THE HOTTEST. VOTE LUP.
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3d-wifey · 7 months
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NSFT Alphabet: MK1 Johnny Cage Edition
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A/N: Wrote this to hold you Johnny girls (gender neutral) over until I finish that smut 😙 Plus, I find writing these Alphabets for a character in preparation to write full-fledged smut for them is very helpful in capturing accurate characterization. It's almost like a writing exercise. I've written three different ones so far and I tried to keep them in character, if that makes sense. Like, I tried putting their personality and language in it. Okay, enjoy.
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Talking. So much talking. But, honestly, did you expect anything else? As he’s pulling out, as he’s carrying you to the shower, as you’re washing his hair. And when it inevitably leads to shower sex, he’s talking then too. You’ll never meet a man who loves the sound of his own voice more than Johnny Cage.
B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)
Uh, how ‘bout the artillery canons strapped to his arms? C’mon, I mean, who wouldn’t want a ticket to the gun show? 
Face. Is saying your face too cliche? Hear him out! You want specifics? He can do specifics! He likes the dimples that pop in your cheeks when he finally gets you to laugh at one of his jokes, the little crease you get between your eyebrows when he’s pissed you off, the adorable way your nose scrunches up when he does that one thing with his tongue that drives you crazy. See? Specifics!
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)
Pull out game…very weak. Embarrassingly weak, actually. He swears he’s never had this problem before. His ability to pull out in the nick of time has always been something he’s prided himself on. However, he vastly underestimated just how good you’d feel. He’s clean, you’re clean, and, hey! You both prefer the feeling of hitting it raw, the way nature intended it. However, your pussy’s like wet kryptonite. And he’s only a man. A very awesome man, but a man nonetheless. So birth control it is! Or, if you’re turned off by all the side effects, he can be talked into a vasectomy. It’s either that or give up the sweet, sweet embrace of your walls when he’s balls deep. 
On second thought, that vasectomy sounds pretty tempting. It is reversible, right?
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Johnny would leak his own sex tape. Plain and simple. He’d leak it from a burner account and watch the chaos ensue. There’s no shame in his game. Hey, it’s ranked the Number 1 Celebrity sex tape for a reason.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Is this even a question? Actors, singers, models, directors, producers. He’s THE Johnny Cage, Hollywood royalty. He’s fucked actual royalty. You’re in good hands—as long as he cares about you. If you’re a random hookup, then he’s not really working for your pleasure here. You’ll definitely cum, but it’s mainly a pit stop on his way to the finish line. 
F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)
Reverse cowgirl. Johnny’s an ass man, through and through. He loves fucking up into you and watching your ass ripple with both of your movements. And he loves holding onto you. Big hands grabbing your waist, hips, thighs, and especially your ass. He also loves seeing you both in action. So reverse cowgirl + some artfully placed full-length mirrors = Him wrapping his arms around your stomach, rubbing at your clit, and forcing you to watch yourself as you desperately grind against him, AKA Heaven. 
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
Oh, c’mon. It isn’t like him to be serious in any situation. He’s gotta slip a joke in every now and then. Get it? Slip a joke in?
H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Wax on, wax off, baby. Smoother than a seal. Or, uh, some other sexy, hairless animal. You mourn when he waxes his happy trail. 
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)
You’ll be surprised by how charming he can be. It’s not all jokes and great orgasms. It’s also loving touches, reverent compliments, and amazing orgasms.
J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)
He’s got a healthy libido and a pretty stacked schedule, so sometimes a quick introduction between his hand and mini Johnny can’t be helped. But he’s also got a smoking hot girlfriend (you), so jerking off by himself is a rare occurrence. 
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Exhibitionism. What can he say? He’s a performer at heart and he loves an audience. But nothing crazy, just your average celebrity having sex on a yacht that’s in full view of the paparazzi. Or the occasional jerking off with you telling him how fast or slow to go. Oh, and you can’t forget about the sex tapes. Man, with the amount of videos he has of the two of you going at it, he could start an archive. You two have definitely ended up on the cover of TMZ and the front page of Twitter.
Voyeurism. But only for you. He’s enthralled by anything you do, including how many of your much smaller fingers will you stuff inside yourself to replicate the feeling of him stretching you wide. It usually leads to you begging for him to touch you, something else he’s in love with. Nothing wrong with a little hands-on audience participation.
Dirty talk. Normally, dirty talk is kind of basic to any old romp in the hay, but Johnny, being Johnny, puts his own Cage flair on it. Those corny oneliners somehow translate to the perfect thing to say to get you hot. He’s like Shakespear, if Shakespear was good-looking and not a virgin. You know what they say: everything sounds better when you’re horny. Who says that? Uh…
Fighting/Sparing which always leads to blood play. Winning a match gets Johnny’s blood pumping. The adrenaline of escaping death and the crowd hyping him up. And the crux of it all is you who happens to get especially wet when he comes to you covered in blood, grinning with a glint in his eyes that’s poorly hidden behind his blood-speckled sunglasses (a glint that many may describe as mania). And it certainly goes the other way. Watching you kick ass makes him harder than a diamond. Sparing together is a no-brainer that leads to fucking on his gym floor, or, honestly, wherever you two fall. Lui Kang must regret making you two his champions in this timeline with how often he’s walked in on you two. Offering to let him join probably doesn’t soften the blow, but, hey, it’s only polite.
L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
In his mansion. In one of his lavish beds, or pressed up against the wall-length windows. In his Bentley or in the back of his limo. He’s a big fan of fingering you under the table at an award show and then fucking you in a bathroom at said award show when he should definitely be on stage presenting. For whatever reason, walking the red carpet always gets him worked up. And going to the club together always ends with you riding him in the VIP section.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Such a complex question for a man with complex taste. I’m joking, Johnny is so easy. It’s actually ridiculous how easily you turn him on. Laugh at his joke, hard. Complement his acting or fighting, hard. Running your fingers through his hair/scratching his scalp, hard. Feel him up/tease him in any context, hard. You’re covered in blood after a win, hard, hard, rock hard.
“Are you King Midas? Cuz you make me hard with just one touch.”
“That one was actually kinda clever.” 
N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Nothing too gross. He’s all for sloppy, messy sex, but he has to draw the line somewhere. There’s nasty 👁🫦👁 and there’s n a s t y 👁👄👁. 
He likes to tease/do the opposite of what you say, but if you’re not 100% on board with what he’s doing, then he’s stopping it then and there. Remember: there’s nothing sexier than explicit consent!
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Preferred to receive before he started dating you, and only ever had the urge to go down on someone if he had been drinking before. After you started dating, he definitely loved it whenever you gave him head, but he didn’t realize how much pleasure he could get from giving you pleasure. 
He loves sloppy head, giving and receiving, so if you weren’t wet before, you definitely will be after he gets his mouth on you. 
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Depends on when and where you’re doing it. And if you two are “allowed” to be doing it in said place.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Big fan of the guy who came up with the idea of quickies, enough said. 
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
C’mon. He’s the leading source of your sex tapes getting leaked. I mean, how do you think the paps keep finding you in compromising positions? A little tip-off to them while you take his tip, ha!
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
It’s like he runs off horsepower, good God. If you’re trying to go until he’s tired out, it’s gonna be a couple of rounds until then.
T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He’s a fan of dildos. Specifically, watching you fuck yourself with one. “Go ahead, baby. Show me how bad you want me.” And show him, you do. God, you know how to put on a show. But you shouldn’t have to settle for some random dildo. You’re with the Cage man, and he would get a mold of his dick made for you. And they say he’s not romantic. 
Strap-on. That’s it. And he takes it well ;).
Remote-controlled vibrators, for you and him. Hell, let’s make a game out of it. See who can last the longest in public, there are no losers! 
U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)
His version of teasing is doing the opposite of what you said to do. You want him to speed up? He’s slowing down and making sure you feel every inch inside you. Oh, keep his hands above his head? You gonna make him? He’s a total brat, but you knew what you were getting yourself into when you agreed to date him.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Heh, yeahhh. He’s real loud. Moans, groans, screams, whimpers. You name it, he’s doing it. It’s the performer in him. And because he knows you like how he sounds.
W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)
Tattoos? Sexy as hell. If you were to ever get his name tattooed on you (preferably a tramp stamp), then you might as well start planning what flowers you want in your bouquet. I could see him getting your name tattooed on him too. Probably on his pelvis, in the middle of his v-line. In case anyone ever needs a reminder of who his dick belongs to.  
Type of guy to dedicate a Mortal Kombat match to you, and then lose. Ah, I’m joking. He’d beat his opponent’s ass all because you promised him victory sex if he won and he doesn’t take victory sex lightly.
X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He’s got an 8.5–8.9 inch hog, shower not a grower. Little Johnny isn’t so little. There’s a reason he’s alright with doing full-frontal nudity if the scene calls for it. They’ve had to CG out his bulge in post-production in every Ninja Mime movie. It’s not his fault spandex happens to be the clingiest material known to man.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Higher than Mount Fuji. He’s a stallion in his prime with a gorgeous girlfriend. His spare time is filled with filling you. And you both tend to feed off of each other, so all it takes is for one of you to be the tiniest bit turned on, and then, boom! You’re both desperately grinding against each other in a supply closet. Ain’t that just the way?
Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)
Depends. He’s kind of like a dog that needs to tire himself out before he can sleep. 
Click for a Johnny Cage-shaped surprise👀👀
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randxmthxughts · 1 year
Text
Human Stuff - Neteyam x Human! Reader (afab)
summary: the one where a confused na’vi teenager tries to comfort his human friend while she’s on her period 
warnings: menstruation talk, feeding food
wc: 2.3k
a/n: can you tell that i’m on my period and this is all i want rn
also, neteyam not knowing about periods can be canon? i just read that na’vi are non-placental, so they most likely don’t menstruate like primates. eywa be looking out for her girlies lol. but what do i know
masterlist
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︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Neteyam walks into the science facility confidently, knowing every nook and cranny like the back of his hand. Growing up, he has spent countless hours here with his siblings, and especially lately, he has been here every other day. His eyes search for you through the glass windows of the labs where he knows he is not allowed to step a foot in, ears perked up for a sign of you, even though it’s awfully quiet. The facility is mostly empty, and he assumes that the rest of the group is probably in their avatar bodies, busy with research. But it’s you that he’s looking for. 
Ever since you arrived at Pandora, Neteyam liked you right away. Roughly translated, the two of you were close in age, and had similar humor. Your father was the team lead of entomologists, and since you weren’t an actual scientist like the rest of the group, you had a lot of spare time to spend with Neteyam, exploring the forests. Your weekly meet ups with him became so familiar, that when you don’t show up at your regular meeting spot, Neteyam has to come and fetch you himself.
So here he is, walking through the labs, wondering if you had forgotten about your plans and were out with the others. It takes him some courage to sneak his head into the sleeping area, where he knew humans slept. Neteyam also knew very well that he wasn’t allowed back there because he could accidentally knock over things with his massive frame but he just needs to check. And his gut feeling isn’t wrong. You are laying in your bed, your back turned to him, completely unaware of his presence. Neteyam takes notice of how little you look with your body curled into a ball. 
At first, he assumes you’re asleep. A small smile stretches his lips, as he sneaks up on you planning to scare you awake for abandoning your plans. But as he readies himself for the loud growl, a small whimper escapes from your lips.
Neteyam stops in his tracks, his ears perking up immediately at the sound. He thought he had imagined it, but that theory gets quickly disproven when he hears another whimper. Moving quickly, he rounds your bed to confirm his suspicions. You jerk up at the sight of his big frame looming over you.
“Neteyam, what the hell?” your heart starts racing. 
“I didn’t mean to sneak up on you, sorry,” he slowly crouches down in front of your bed, with a guilty expression on his face.
You throw an annoyed look at him before wrapping your arms around your middle again, and pressing your face into the pillow. You don’t want him to see your face. Neteyam doesn’t move, watching you.
“Go away,” you mumble, hoping that for once he will just comply. 
“Did you forget about our plans?” he asks, ignoring your previous words, “Are you sleeping?”
“I am not sleeping,” you mutter angrily into the pillow.
Neteyam can’t quite put his finger on it but he knows that something strange is happening to you. Maybe it was the scent? Of course, he was used to your scent, he could sense you from a mile away because it always stood out to him. It wasn’t necessarily bad or good, it’s just the way he recognized you. But right now, for some reason, it was so intense, like somebody gathered it into a perfume bottle and sprayed it right into his nostrils. 
He instinctively sniffs the air, and you cringe out of embarrassment, wishing you were dead right at this moment. Stupid periods, stupid cramps, stupid human bodies. If only you were back home right now, indulging in comfort food and taking your usual painkillers that could soothe the pain. Whatever you had found in the lab's aid kit was clearly not strong enough, and you suspect that the pressure on Pandora is making it even worse.
Tears began to prick at the corners of your eyes as another painful cramp surges through your already sore muscles.
"Y/N, are you hurt?" Neteyam asks, attempting to turn you to your side so he can see your face. You grumble in annoyance, resisting his movements.
"Can you please just leave me alone?" you snap at him.
“But what about our plans?” Neteyam stares at you confused.
“I’m canceling them,” you huff, “I’m going through some human-stuff.”
It feels like your insides are being twisted and squeezed over and over again. You place a hand on your lower belly, hoping to suit the pain, but it only gets worse. Noticing the way your face grimaces, Neteyam stands up.
“You’re in pain,” he states, “I will go for Tsahik.”
“No!” you protest, “No Tsahik!”
“But you look unwell,” he hesitates, unsure of what to do.
“No Tsahik!” you squeeze your eyes shut, feeling another cramp, “It’s a human thing, the pain will pass soon.”
Something about Neteyam standing there and watching you, makes you feel embarrassed. You already felt weak in comparison to him, whenever you tried to keep up with his running through the forest or climbing trees. He loved teasing you about it, and you don’t need another reason for him to poke fun at you. Your hand clutches one of the pillows under your head, and you sit up to shoo him away.
“Go away, you’re not allowed to be here,” you threaten him, raising your pillow in the air.
Neteyam frowns, still not moving. Angry at his sudden stubbornness, you throw the pillow at him with as much force as you can.
“Go!” you shout at him again.
Neteyam easily dodges the pillow but finally backs away from your bed. He knows that when you get angry at him, it’s because you’re embarrassed about something. He just can’t grasp what this “human stuff” is and why is it making you so stressed. Neteyam thought he knew plenty about humans from his dad, but Jake had never mentioned anything like this.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Neteyam is so confused on his way out of the facility that he barely notices Norm and almost bumps into him. Fortunately, Norm was in his avatar body and wasn't trampled by the teenage Na'vi. He chuckles at the way Neteyam doesn’t even stop to acknowledge him and keeps walking.
“You okay, kid?” Norm calls out after Neteyam, finally catching his attention.
“Norm, you’re one of the sky people,” Neteyam turns around. 
“I am,” Norm confirms with another chuckle, “Something bothering you?”
“Yeah… Can you tell me what is this ‘human stuff’ that you go through?”
Norm cocks his head, the question sounding so ridiculous, he assumes it’s a joke. But Neteyam looks serious.
“What ‘human stuff’?”
“I’m not sure but it looks like it is painful,” Neteyam shakes his head, “I just saw Y/N, and she was laying in her bed, and crying. It looked like something was hurting her, but she wouldn’t tell me what. Only said it was ‘human stuff’.”
“Maybe she’s just having a stomachache or something?” Norm shrugs.
“That’s what I thought. But when I wanted to get Tsahik for her, she got mad at me. Said that it will pass on its own.”
“I don’t know, man, I don’t understand women sometimes,” Norm replies, then a sudden realization hits him, “Ooooh…”
“What?” Neteyam’s ears perk up, “What is it?”
“I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but she might just be on her period.”
“Period?” it was an unfamiliar word.
“Yeah, women get it every month,” Norm explains but it only seems to confuse Neteyam further, “Okay, so I’m probably not the best person for this but sit down.”
After what seems like an hour passes, Neteyam gives up on the human biology lesson with Norm. He sort of gets the idea of menstruation but he can’t imagine what it feels like, no matter how hard he tries. All he gets from this conversation is that Y/N needs to rest to feel better, and that the food she craves can help ease the pain? He is an alien; he has no idea what she wants.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
“Y/N?” Neteyam’s soft voice catches your attention.
The medicine you took earlier finally seems to work, and you feel slightly better. You prop yourself up on your elbows and see Neteyam walk into the room. A few colorful plastic bags in his hands catch your attention; these were usually hidden away in the very back of the kitchen cabinets for special occasions. Your mouth salivates at the sight of the chips and the cookies. 
“Are you feeling better?” Neteyam asks, now crouching down next to your bed.
You nod, sitting up, feeling a little guilty for shooing him away earlier. 
“I stole these from the secret stash,” he grimaces, laying out the bags on your blanket.
“My father is going to kill you for this,” you chuckle, reaching for the chips.
Neteyam smiles softly, as he watches you open the bag and fetch a few chips into your mouth. With a loud crunch, you munch on those with a giddy smile, then offer him some. Without much hesitation, Neteyam opens his mouth widely, letting you feed him a handful. You can’t help but chuckle at his blissful reaction to the taste; it was always fun for you to introduce Neteyam to human snacks. Your father got mad at you sometimes for it but you liked sneaking some for Neteyam, just to see him try it out. The sweets seemed to be too intense for him, but he liked salty things. 
“Good?” you ask him. Neteyam hums, then opens his mouth again, signaling for more. 
You chuckle before feeding him another handful. Though a teenager, Neteyam still required much more feeding than you did. So if you had a couple of chips at a time, Neteyam had to have a triple to fill his mouth.
“How did you know to bring these?” you ask him, now reaching for the bag of cookies. 
From your previous tastings, you knew that Neteyam didn’t like chocolate chip cookies. Or anything with chocolate, to be fair. You did not hide your disappointment the first time he almost gagged at the chocolate kiss you gave him, offended by the way his eyes teared up.
“Norm told me that your favorite food can help,” he shrugged, watching you bite down on a cookie.
Your eyes closed in satisfaction as you chewed on it, savoring the taste that filled your mouth. You haven’t had those in a long time.
“Help with what?” you open your eyes again.
“Your human thing,” Neteyam gestures at your stomach.
“Did Norm tell you what it means?” 
You feel heat flush to your cheeks, when Neteyam nods his head. You’re not sure why but the thought of Neteyam knowing makes you feel a little embarrassed. Not because there was anything embarrassing about getting a period. You just couldn’t imagine how weird it might be for him to know that you were bleeding out right at this moment, and he could probably smell it.
“Do you want to cuddle?” his voice catches your attention again. Where did he get that from?
You gulp down nervously, confused at how nonchalant he is. Maybe it’s not a big deal to him? He probably just wants to be supportive.
“Cuddle? Like, with you?” you clarify.
“Who else?” Neteyam chuckles, standing up.
He doesn’t wait for your response, instead gently nudging you to move to the middle of your bed. He was too big for it, so instead of laying down next to you, Neteyam decides to act like your headboard. You watch in confusion, as he slings his left foot over the bed and sits down, pressing his back against the wall, and setting down pillows on his lap. 
“Come on,” Neteyam pats the pillows, encouraging you to lay down.
You hesitate for a second, before laying down, as Neteyam’s huge frame hangs over you. He smiles at how small you look, gently propping up the pillows under your head to make sure you’re comfortable.
“This is a little weird,” you sigh, looking up at his face. 
Neteyam only chuckles and grabs the bag of cookies. He takes one out and offers it to you, bringing it to your mouth. As you open up to take a bite, Neteyam suddenly moves it out of your reach. You huff.
"Please, do not choke," he warns, before finally letting you bite into the cookie.
Eventually, you find yourself sitting up, leaning against his chest. As you swallow the bite, Neteyam feeds you again, listening to the satisfied sounds you make. 
“Feel better about the human stuff?” he nudges your shoulder.
“Much better, thank you,” you turn a little to look at his face.
While you were spending a lot of time with him, you’ve never found yourself in such close proximity with him. It felt weird but comforting. Like he offered you some sort of protection, a shield. 
“Can I ask what it feels like?” Neteyam breaks the silence, “Norm was sweating trying to explain it to me.”
You laugh at the thought of Norm trying to explain human biology to him. Nestling against Neteyam's chest, you make yourself comfortable and start talking. You both enjoy the snacks he brought, and occasionally he comforts you by rubbing small circles on your shoulders and arms. As the evening wears on, you start to feel tired and eventually doze off in his arms.
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hellvcifer · 13 days
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ANGEL SUPPORT SERVICES— ଘ part 2┆part 1
pairing :: lucifer x fem!angel!reader, slight adam x fem!angel!reader wc :: 5.1k note :: I did not realize this was gonna be over 5k... BUT !! thank you for the love and support on part 1 !! I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა warnings :: canon typical language
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ONE YEAR AGO
“If it isn’t the sweetest ASS in all of Heaven.” A familiar voice rang out, the breeze of flapping wings flushed around you before someone landed on the balcony of your office. “Sup hot stuff.”
“Adam, I really don’t have time for this right now.” You shuffled through some more papers, not even looking at him.
He strutted closer, placing a drink next to you on one of your filing cabinets. “Woah, what’s got your titties in a twist.” 
“The meeting we have with Hell in an hour.” You huffed. “I still have to drop the paperwork off at headquarters and then run a file, that I can’t seem to find, to Analytics before then.”
“Oh, yeah. What a bitch.” He slurped his drink through the straw of his own cup.
Your eyes narrowed at him, tilting your head upward. “You’re the one that got it assigned to me in the first place.” You spoke flatley.
He gulped the liquid down before laughing. “Shit! Did I? Can’t say I never do nothing for you.” He stretched, releasing a heavy exhale in relief. “What do you say after we deal with these cunts downstairs, we meet up after. Take a load off. Chillaxe.” 
“And why would we do that?” You had already turned back to the files you were going through, doing your best to pay him no mind.
“Uh, because I fucking rock.” He threw up the notorious sign with his empty hand. You had finally found the papers you were looking for before registering his words.
You paused. “Are you…” Straightening your posture, you turned towards Adam seeing him stare down at you. His eyes were wide, as if he was nervously awaiting your answer. “Are you asking me out?” 
“HA! Your words, not mine, Babe.” His demeanor switched quickly. You rolled your eyes, closing the filing cabinet before walking out of your office. He tensed, grabbing the extra drink he got and going after you. “Damn, calm down! Okay, if I were asking you out, you’d totally say yes then, right?”
You turned towards Adam. “Oh, yeah~ Sure!” A smile graced your lips though nothing about it was real as your face immediately fell. “If you were asking me out.” You pointedly spoke before facing forward again.
“Okay, then I’m asking you out.” His words made you freeze, eyes widening. 
“What?” You swiveled to stare at him, now realizing he wasn’t joking. “Why?”
“Cuz you’re hot as shit.” He said instantly. “And so am I. Come on, who wouldn’t want to get it on with the original dick, am I right?” He laughed loudly before calming once again. “I’m so right.”
“Right…” You began walking once more, him following quickly though he did his best to do so indifferently. You stopped in front of the elevator before hitting the button to call for it.
“So, what d’you say hot tits, you down?” He held out the extra drink for you, shaking it as an offering. You stared at it wearily before slowly taking it. To be honest, you never really thought Adam would ever ask you out. Not to mention, he's the ultimate dickmaster that you can’t stand ninety percent of the time. It wouldn’t hurt to actually go on a date considering it's been… A while, since you had done so. As much as you could just say ‘Fuck it,’ and agree to it, there’s one rule you can’t seem to put behind you, even for the first man. 
A loud ding drew your attention, the doors opening in front of you. Adam was nearly bursting, impatiently awaiting your response as he stared down at you. 
“I uh… I don’t date coworkers.” You stepped into the elevator and turned, cautiously looking up at him. His brows dipped, eyes filled with shock at your answer, crossed with a glitching phase of his mask. It all soon changed to anger.
“Yeah, whatever, bitch!” He flipped you off, in between the gap of the closing doors. “Didn’t want to tap that uptight ass anyways.” 
His response wasn’t a surprise, but that expression he had. It wasn’t like something you’d seen on him before. He was always confident, flying around Heaven with the biggest ego you’d ever seen. But just then, he’d seemed like your words had actually affected him. 
You mulled over it a moment before taking a deep breath and sipping from the drink in your hand. Your eyes widened when the flavors coated your tongue before swallowing. Your favorite drink from the cafe you frequented. You hummed with a soft smile before taking another sip. Maybe dating a coworker would be that terrible. 
After completing all of your tasks, you finally made your way back to the office. Thoughts fading back to your interaction with Adam before you left earlier. Had he really been into you in a way that was more than just putting you at the butt of a joke? Perhaps, he was just doing it to rile you up before the meeting with Hell. Speaking of…
You noted the time on the clock sitting on your desk, a fluttering feeling crawled across your stomach. Your eyes followed the slow moving line in its circling motion. Less than five minutes. Just a little longer. A smile broke onto your lips. How long has it been since you last saw him?
You sighed, arm bending to rest your cheek into your hand. You melted the weight into it. Over the past few years, he had been going through a lot but you slowly witnessed him overcoming the darkness he faced. He began making his dorky jokes and even flashing his devilish smile again.
“Whatcha thinking about?”
“No one!” You jumped at the voice, glancing in the direction of it and seeing Emily standing in the entrance of your office. Her brows shot up at your reaction. “Em!” You cleared your throat. “Um, hi! I uh–” You grabbed some papers and straightened them, clacking the stack a few times on the surface. “I have my meeting downstairs soon.”
“Yes!” She waltzed in happily. “That’s actually why I’m here!” She now stood at the front of your desk. “I wanted to wish you luck! You always seem so busy around this time of the year, and somehow you always seem your happiest!” 
Your eyes widened. “Uh, I do?”
“Yeah. I just admire how much compassion you have for being one of Heaven’s main connections to Hell!” She grinned brightly.
“Oh, uh.” You turned away, feeling your cheeks heat up. “Thanks, Em.” 
“You’ll tell me everything when you come back, right?”
You smiled at her. “Of course.” You stood, noting the time was seconds away. “We’ll do it over tea.”
She bounced happily, hands clapping together as she did. “Yay!”
You appeared in front of your desk at the Embassy, a certain blonde haired man was in front of you with a nervous smile. Immediately you returned it upon seeing him, your breath hitched before finally returning to speak one word. “Lucifer.” 
“Y/N.” He all but melted at the sound of his name, using his cane to hold his upper body weight before clearing his throat. “Uh, Hi. Hello. H-How are you?” He pulled at the collar of his shirt.
“Oh, another year gone. Though it’s always nice to see you again.” You brought out the sign-in scroll and feather pen. “It seems once a year really isn’t enough time for us to chat, don’t you think.”
“Y-Yeah. Ha ha! Agreed!” His fingers brushed against yours as he took the pen. His rose cheeks heated as he began signing his name. “You look…” He dotted the ‘I’ of his name. Glancing up to see you smiling down at him. Beautiful. He straightened up again. “G-Great!” 
You giggled. “You’re not half bad yourself.” The two items disappeared in a flash of gold petals. The door to your right opened. It was nearly routine at this point. His eyes flickered between it and you. 
“I’ll uh,” He pointed with his cane before glancing stiffly. “I’ll just uh, get going now.” 
“I’ll be waiting.” Your eyes never left his departing figure. The crisp white suit draped over his shoulders nicely. Hair flicking out from underneath his hat in a bouncy quaff with each step. You felt it again, the stir behind your navel. A shuddering breath filled your lungs before releasing once more. Just seeing him made coming down here worth it.
And although you observed him, you didn’t notice the very details that had the man nearly throwing up in the lobby. He was sweating, feeling drenched in it as he slowly took each step towards the conference room door. He could do this. He already talked himself up about it! He’s ready for this! 
He took a deep breath, exhaling sharply through his nose. His posture straightened and he nodded to himself. “Y/N!” He turned around, as he called your name, a bit louder than he meant to. You looked up. Eyes meeting and he nearly forgot what he was going to say. “Uh…” Okay he forgot everything he was going to say. “Um. Well,” He averted his stare, finding something else to reacquaint his thoughts with his mouth. “So, I know it's been awhile, and we’ve. Well what I mean is. You and I, together…” His eyes widened, “Not! Together! I just mean, we’ve met, and have for sometime now and it’d be nice to be together–” His hands frantically waved about trying to explain his point. “Not like that, I just mean, to sit down together and talk, but like um, maybe with some food, or like uh…” 
“Dinner?” You questioned, trying to figure out exactly what he was saying. It felt like deciphering code.
“Yes!” A lightbulb went off in his head as he pointed at you, face filling with excitement. “Us and dinner!” He finally seemed to find his bearings. “Would you like to join me… For dinner?” Lucifer was nervous, sure, but he also spent way too much time talking to himself in the mirror, hyping himself up for this very moment, just to let it go by for a whole year again. 
You simply stared, mouth opening in shock. The fluttery feeling in your stomach from before crawled up into your throat as you replayed his words. He wants to have dinner? With you? You smiled, and brightly, too. He noticed and felt confidence surge through him. Why did this make you so happy? To eat dinner with the only person to make you feel like this. 
“I would love to!” To eat dinner with Lucifer… Lucifer. Your once joyful feeling began to fade away. What would he say… Smile faltering. A heavy liquid filling your lungs as you try to gulp it down. To find a clean breath for some sort of release. “I just…” You glanced away, seeing Lucifer’s expression begin to mimic your own. “I just don’t think… It could work.” You explained. “With me being up there and you… down here.” Your eyes stung, not meeting with him.
He felt a piercing clutch within his chest. Head downturned and eyes shut in defeat. “Right.”
─── ⋆⋅
“I don’t understand why it’s not working. Think Charlie, think! Think, think, think, think, think…” Charlie mumbled while pacing her thought-board. The residents of her hotel watched, each with their own expressions. Mostly worried, though Niffty seemed excited.
Angel stepped closer, “Yikes.” He held two of his hands up, the other two placed on his hips as he leaned forward. Husk was pouring a morning drink–if you could call whiskey that–into his mug as he watched the chaos unfold.
“We do trust falls every morning… We talked about our dreams and goals…” The mumbling from the princess continued. “Come on, come on, come on!” She moved another red string across the board.
“Charlie?” Vaggie spoke up. “Sweetie… You, uh, you good?”
Said girl turned, “Nope, no! Not really! Ha Ha!” Her eyes were noticeably red and veined and she shifted through some more of her papers. “I’ve been up all night trying to figure out why the hotel isn’t working!” The last word was forced out with a little bit of irritation as she scrunched the paper she held. “We’ve done trust falls. We’ve tried sharing our feelings. We only have a couple months left before the angels come.” A maniacal laughter released from her, horns appearing briefly. “And at this rate–”
“Maybe it’s time–” 
“No!” Charlie cut her girlfriend off.
“–to ask–”
Charlie ran up to Vaggie, squishing the girl's cheeks. “Don’t! Say it!” Her eyes were viciously wide as she begged.
“–your dad.” The princess released a guttural groan, her head deflating along with her entire body at those words. “Charlie, I know you don’t want to, but we need every advantage we can get.”
“He let the extermination happen to begin with! They just had a meeting at the Embassy and said, ‘Go ahead and kill everyone!’” Charlie inhaled deeply, a gasp insinuated a brilliant idea entered her mind. She turned towards her thought-board. “That’s it!”
“Kill everyone?” Vaggie asked.
“No!” She turned back. “A meeting with Heaven!”
“Didn’t we already try that?”
“Well, yeah… With Adam. He was an ass~hole. But he isn’t in charge of all of Heaven. We could go to the top!” She pointed to the sky. “There’s sure to be some angels who will listen.” 
“And how do we do that?” Vaggie asked. 
“Well… I guess we could ask my dad…” Charlie whipped out her phone, scrolling through her contacts before reaching ‘Dad.’ She stared at it, finger hovering with hesitation.
“What’s the holdup?” Husk asked. “You got daddy issues?” He inquired, causing Vaggie to glare at him.
“No!” Charlie hid her phone. “We just… Have never been close.” She walked a few steps away, bringing her phone back out to stare at it. “After he and Mom split, he never really wanted to see me. He calls… Sometimes. But only if he’s bored or like, needs me to do something. It got better for a bit but this past year has been super bad. And weird.”
Husk smirked. “Daddy issues.” He muttered towards the others.
“Okay, well, if you can’t call the big dick in charge, then who?” Angel leaned over the back of the couch.
Charlie thought for a moment, recalling the Embassy, her meeting with Adam, and how it went horribly wrong and… You. You!
“That’s it!” She put her phone away, grabbing her jacket from the floor before putting it on. She began brushing her fingers through her messy hair, trying to flatten out the stray piece. 
“Woah! Woah, what?” Vaggie came closer and tried to calm her down while also helping to fix the blonde’s hair.
“The Embassy!” Charlie bounced in place. “We have to go to the Embassy! There’s someone I know who can help! Come on!” She grabbed Vaggie’s wrist and bolted out the doors and through the streets of the pride ring. 
With the pace Charlie set, dragging her girlfriend along, it didn’t take very long to arrive at the Embassy. The architecture of it stood out from all the other buildings in the city. Vaggie took one look at it and groaned to herself. The princess slammed the front door open and strutted inside, having let go of Vaggie. Her arms swayed confidently down the aisle, eyes set on a certain golden bell.
“Uh, Charlie?” Vaggie followed behind her hesitantly, glancing around. “There’s no one here.”
“Oh, there will be~!” Her eyes narrowed in on the shiny object before slapping the small knob on top. A familiar chime echoed throughout the place. The shining gold light appeared, flower petals and feathers fading into view and fluttering giggles became louder.
“So then I see her get spun out from the room, papers flying everywhere, and the all-knowing Dick is rifting his ass off like ee-oouh…” You opened your eyes finally, seeing as you weren’t lounging by the pool with your angel posse anymore. No, instead you were at the Embassy. You turn around to see a familiar someone, her face glaring at you as she stands with a strong posture. You sighed, putting on your best smile. “You know, when I said ‘Come again,’ I didn’t actually mean so soon.”
Charlie closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She came looking for answers. And she was gonna get them! “Hi, Y/N. Nice to see you again.” She spoke flatley though she did her best to make it seem light and airy. You glanced past her and noticed another girl standing. She had long white hair, part of the framing pieces covered her left eye along with a pink eyepatch. Your brow rose, stare shifting above her head before connecting to her avoiding eye. “Oh, right!” The blonde’s demeanor changed as she displayed the woman with a big smile. “Vaggie, this is Y/N. Y/N this is Vaggie. Now that introductions are out of the way, we were wonder if you could–”
“Heaven doesn’t have any plans to meet for another three months.” You interrupted, looking down at your freshly done manicure. “All other inquiries must be brought up then.” You glanced up at her. “Bye-bye, now!” You waved with a wiggle of your fingers and went back to where you were, seeing the gold gates once more and walking towards them.
“Y/N?” Saint Peter voiced as he saw you walking towards the gate, “I didn’t know you were scheduled for a visit today?” He noticed your eye twitch.
“I wasn’t.” Once the gate fully opened, you went to take a step and you were in front of your desk again. Your widened eyes soon squinted at the culprit, seeing her hand still hovering over the bell.  
Her face was inquisitive, curious, looking from the bell to your appearance once more. You watched as she finally connected the dots to your summoning. She nervously laughed. “I just have a question and I re~ally need your help to answer it!” She spoke all too quickly as if you’d disappear before she could ask.
This girl was annoyingly determined, you’ll give her that. Unfortunately, ignoring it won’t make it go away. You crossed your arms. “You have ten seconds.” 
Her expression lit up with a smile, “Okay, so, I was wondering, and I didn’t really want to ask my dad, but I thought maybe you might know better anyways since you work so closely with Adam and might have some connections with anyone higher–”
“Five seconds.”
“Is there any way to arrange another meeting with Heaven?”
“What?”
“And not just, Adam-Heaven. I mean like Heaven-Heaven, you know?” Her hopeful eyes were large as she stared, awaiting. Like a small puppy.
“No.” You disappeared. Again.
“Charlie, let’s just go.” Vaggie tried to convince her girlfriend but the princess was not having it. She released a mighty breath before raising her hand and slamming it down on the bell. Fast, repeatedly. The constant chimes were endless.
You had barely caught a glimpse of Peter before being called back down. Arriving to the incessant rings of your bell. An obvious irk appeared as you watched the girl in front of you glare at the golden bell. Her eyes didn’t even raise to meet you, you just watched as her tongue poked out in concentration, her focus remained on her task. 
“Charlie…” Vaggie wearily called out.
“Enough!” Your hands shot forward, pressing down on hers and the bell all together, the ring dulled as you cupped the shell. 
The princess inhaled sharply, feeling your warm touch on her slightly colder hand. “You’re… Here?” She asked quietly, eyes glancing up to meet your irritated glare. “Like… like physically here! I thought angels didn’t come down here!” You rolled your eyes at her words before releasing her hand from your grasp and the bell.
You scoffed. “Of course I’m here.” You crossed your arms. “An angel must be physically present in Heaven’s Embassy at all times. Though we altered the rules slightly because, well, nothing happens down here.” You lightly laughed, shaking your head. “Could you imagine if we left this place unsupervised? Anyways!” You perked up once more. “As much as I would, just lo~ve to assist you, unfortunately there’s no possible way to request a meeting with heaven before the next one. How about you ask your father.” You narrowed your eyes on her.
“I can’t!” The irritation pierced through her tone. “He’s not… I just… He won’t bother with what I’m trying to do!” 
Her words caused your brows to crease. “Why? Is he…” You cleared your throat and turned your head away. “Is he okay?” Your eyes flickered to her. 
“I don’t– I mean, I guess?” She squinted at you. “Why do you care?” 
“I don’t!” You huffed, causing her and now Vaggie to stare at you in confusion. “Listen, I can’t help. See you in three months!” Gone. Once more. Not even taking the time to hear them out.
“Ugh!” Charlie’s hands came to her forehead, dragging down her entire face. “She’s not listening!”
“I told you. Angels won’t understand, we can’t trust them.” Vaggie tried to meet eyes with her. A comforting grip was welcomed on the princess’ shoulder. Charlie sighed, glancing down at the bell. Her hand rose, reaching out to ring it once more. 
“If she won’t listen…” She spoke softly, fingers getting closer. “Maybe she’ll understand once she sees it!” Her idea blossomed a new light within her eyes. Hand snatching the bell, careful to avoid the knob on top and dulling the sound of the shell before it could chime. 
Vaggie’s eyes widened, “Ch-Charlie!” She watched her girlfriend brush past her and book it towards the exit.
“Come on!” The blonde shouted, hands tucking the gold bell into her side as she bolted out the doors.
Vaggie ran after her, jaw slacked. “You–you can’t just take that!” Damn! When did her girl run so fast? “Charlie! Put it back!”
“It’s just for a second!” Of course the justification doesn’t make up for the fact that she is steali–borrowing! Definitely borrowing–the shiny angel bell of summoning. Exactly! She was just borrowing it! She’ll put it back! She just needed to show you exactly what she’s doing. She’ll do anything before having to call her father. Anything.
She bounded through the hotel doors, a bright and cheery smile on her face. The sound caused those in the lobby to snap their heads in her direction. She paid no mind as she ran towards her thought-board. 
“This’ll work! I just know this is gonna work!” She stepped happily side-to-side, clutching the bell preciously to her chest with both hands. “She’s gonna see everything we’ve done! And surely she’ll see it’s worth bringing it up to all her friends and even try to help us! This is perfect!” Niffty appeared, copying Charlie's bounce almost exactly with a huge grin on her face and giggling maniacally. 
“Charlie!” Vaggie yelled, out of breath and standing at the front doors. “Don’t you dare ring that–”
Ding~!
The same heavenly ring sounded upon impact, there was a pause as Charlie waited. The bell held poshly in her hands as her widened puppy eyes stared at it. 
The familiar flourish of glittering golds and fluttering flowers swirled, drawing the crowd into the warming glow. Angel and Sir Pencious creeped closer, awed expressions curiously enraptured by whatever Charlie had brought into the Hotel. 
Husk began pouring another glass of bourbon. “Here we go.” He said, pulling the drink up and gulping a sip down.
The princess sprung in place, watching as the feather cocoon unfurled to reveal none other than you. Your eyes were shut, expression invoking an unexplainable frustration as you released a sigh. “You really know how to ruffle an angel the wr–” Words fell off your lips as soon as your eyes opened, seeing the foreign walls surrounding you. “Where am I?”
You slowly peered at your environment, the dark crimson coated nearly everything in sight; the dingy carpet, the clawed wallpaper, the crusty couch. The gold accents were dull, completely opposite to what you would see upstairs. A bug crawled across the floor and a small… Demon? Ran after it while laughing.  You finally landed on those gawking at you. Three people stood behind the couch. A tall spider-looking fella, a cat-like one with wings, and one that resembled a snake. A lurking shadow loomed from the balcony atop of the stairs, watching. Waiting.
When you turned towards the agonizing pain in your side that seemed to dig further and further in, she was joyfully holding your bell in her hands, a grin presented guiltily. “I am sooo~ sorry but I just really needed you to see exactly what we were doing here an–”
“Stop!” You shouted at her, wings presenting themselves widely and at their highest peak. Your voice echoed with something powerful, something both heavenly and haunting all at once. It was silent for a moment, the cutting tone of your voice froze everyone in place. A seething breath escaped between your gritted teeth.
“Alright, is this what I think it is?” One of the people behind you with a thick accent asked as he shifted his weight onto one hip. He had no care in breaking the thick tension that hung in the air.
“Who iss thiss?” Another one asked, his S’s pulled out as he spoke, eyes flickering between you and Charlie.
“Heh heh.” The princess looked warily before she jumped forward, arms stretched out to present you. “Everyone, this is Y/N!” You simply squint your eyes at the blonde as she bounded about.  “Y/n this is Angel Dust and Sir Pentious. They’re guests at the hotel and undergoing the rehabilitation process!” She then walked over to the other two. “And this is Husk, and this is Niffty! They work here.” 
“Shiny!” The shorter one, Niffty, snatched the bell from Charlie’s hands. Her single pupil dilated as she stared at it. You snapped your fingers, the item disappearing into thin air. 
“Are you trying to piss Heaven off?” You glared at the princess. “Or just me.”
“No! No, no, no.” She stormed towards her thought-board. “I know this isn’t the best situation but if you please. Please! Just look and hear out what I’m doing. I just know you’ll understand.”
“How is Feathers over here supposed to help?” Angel asked, his eyes sizing you up with a tumb jutted out in your direction.
“Shee~e works for the Angel Support Services!” Charlie nervously chuckled, gauging everyone’s reaction. “In Heaven!”
“Angel Support Services?” The spider raised a brow, a set of hands on his hips while the other’s crossed in front of him. A laugh bubbled, “You’re tellin’ me you work for ASS ?” 
You groaned, hand sliding down your face. “Adam’s doing…” 
“Don’t get me wrong, sweetheart, I know all~ about working for ass.” He smirked, wiggling his hips side-to-side to accent the word. “I just didn’t think Heaven got down and dirty like that.” 
“How the hell did you get an angel down here?” Husk's question was forcibly shocked, his tone spiking as did his brow.
“You heard it here first, folks!” Static surrounds your ears before coming to a dull buzz. A man clad in a red suit appeared from an inky shadow, cane in hand and an unnerving smile revealing his sharp canines. “Yes! An angel indeed, seen with my very eyes!” His hand shot out, snatching yours. “Name’s Alastor, a pleasure to mee–” The sizzle from your hand in his made him break the connection immediately, his eye twitched but grin never faltering, though it was now strained. He looked down at his hand, noting the obvious burn on his palm. His pupils slid to you. “Quite the bite you got there.” His voice altered slightly, muffle through his odd filter.
“Don’t. touch me.” You turned away from him. The sound of radio frequency slowly began growing louder until you snapped your head in his direction. It silenced immediately, his head tilting to the side and the smile never changed. It just grew. 
Charlie scooted herself into your vision, putting a buffer between you two. “This is Alastor!” She displayed him. “He manages the hotel.”
“Yes, I’ve always thought this little dream of Charlie’s was worthy of an investment.” He added, holding out his mic'd cane to the lobby.
You ignored him and stared at said girl, seeing her confidence fading, the cheery smiling now slipping the longer she tried to convince you. Perhaps this ‘little dream’ of hers wasn't bound to fail from the start. Was it pity? No… Something else. You took a moment, looking at her closely. It was her eyes. 
The same ones you got to see once a year.
You heaved put an exasperated breath, turning towards her thought-board. Eyes grazing over her various pages and drawings. The red strings connect certain areas in hopes of creating more brainstorming opportunities. “Friendship circle?” You read aloud. 
“Y-Yeah!” Charlie swerved past the couch to stand in front of you. “I-It’s where we all sit down in a circle and say something nice about one another. I came up with it.” She walked forward and pointed at a few more pieces of paper that were connected with pink string. “It’s to help recognize kindness within your friends and have compassion for others! And–” 
“Hey, uh Sweetie.” Vaggie walked forward, her hand setting on her girlfriend's shoulder as she cleared her throat. “Why don’t you ask about the meeting?” She whispered out the last bit.
“Right! The meeting!” Charlie looked at you, seeing your wings flutter as she spoke. You remained stagnant, eyes flickering across her pinned papers. “The reason we want to meet with Heaven before the one at the Embassy is because we need more time!”
You tilted her head at this, eyelids narrowing. “More time?” 
“If I can just get into Heaven to meet with someone higher than Adam before the next extermination, maybe, just maybe–”
“What?” Your neck nearly snapped with how fast you turned towards her.
 “–I can convince them to work together and–” Charlie clearly didn’t hear you as she continued, but you froze. The word repeats like a drum within your thoughts. You glanced back at her drawings. “Extermination…?” You whispered, eyes shaking as her voice slowly drowned to a muffle in the background. Your glazed over eyes focus on a drawing of a figure very similar to one particular man. The very first man. You felt your jaw clench at the sight. Adam.
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indigovigilance · 7 months
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A Nightingale Sang in 1941
This is my inaugural meta (yay!) Eventually I will learn how to add gifs and whatnot to make this more interesting but today, I give you a wall of text.
I need to give credit where credit is due to three existing metas that I’m drawing upon heavily here:
A speculative continuation of the 1941 story, which includes an almost-kiss while “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” plays on the gramophone,
A behavioral analysis of Aziraphale during the S2E6 finale (will find ref later if possible)
A meta-analysis of the way in which “coffee” is used as a symbolic equivalent for liberty and freedom of choice, a running theme of this show (will find ref later if possible)
I’m going to expand upon meta #2 and #3 and explain why I think there is are very compelling reasons to believe that #1 will be canonized.
At the end of S1E6, an instrumental version of “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” plays diegetically, but the lyrical version plays non-diegetically over the credits (we hear it but the protagonists don’t). So we the audience could plausibly say “that’s their song,” but as of the close of S1, we have no reason to believe that they know that it’s their song. Even Aziraphale’s S1E3 (1967) suggestion that they dine at the Ritz could be a reference that only he gets, or just a fancy restaurant suggestion.
So when I was watching S2E6 and Crowley said “no nightingales,” I was jarred. What does that even mean? We know it has something to do with dining at the Ritz, but what does it mean to them? The reference only works if they know it’s their song. But we’ve only ever seen them hear it together after the averted apocalypse; if this is the direct reference that Crowley is making, it leaves our 1967 reference contextless and twisting in the wind.
If we assume that there was a romantic story beat in 1941, wherein “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” (which, incidentally, was written in 1939 and saw the height of its popularity at the end of 1940, so timeline-wise it’s spot-on) became their song, then a lot of events get renewed interpretations through this lens, in a way that makes this story much more cohesive and the “no nightingales” comment even more soul-shattering than it already was.
Let’s presume that immediately after this became their song and just as they were discovering their romantic potential, they were forced back into hiding. Forever after, references to the song serve as a macro for “I’d like to pick up where we left off that night.”
The 1967 suggestion of “dining at the Ritz” now becomes a directly romantic suggestion. It also gives better context for “you go too fast for me.”
Actually going to the Ritz in 2019 is not simply a celebration or even a callback to 1967, it’s a callback to their almost-romance of 1941.
When Crowley says “no nightingales” in 2023, this isn’t to say “we’re not going to eat together at the Ritz anymore.” It’s saying that the romance that began that night, the precious, fragile romance, is over.
I’ll give you a moment to dry your eyes before we move on to metas #2 and #3.
In light that this is what has been going on - they know they want a romantic relationship but have gotten so used to hiding and denying it that they are more comfortable keeping the status quo static and quo-y then trying to achieve their ideal - a lot of S2 behavior can get a fresh view.
Crowley’s reaction to Nina isn’t a realization that he’s in love - he knew that already. You can only ask someone to run away with you so many times before you are forced to admit some things to yourself. No, he’s realizing that trying to hide it (which was justified by survival), hasn’t been working, but despite failing at being stealth nothing bad has happened. He’s realizing that it may finally be safe to show it.
Crowley’s confession, then, is not a revelation. It’s making the subtext text. He’s not telling Aziraphale anything he didn’t already know. He’s saying it now because he thinks he’s safe to do so. Pin in that.
Lots of people have lots of theories about Aziraphale’s motivations in the S2 finale, which can more or less be divided into 4 camps: the genuinely held belief, the coffee theory, the lie theory, and the mutual trick theory (some version of the body-switching at the end of S1). Let me start by saying that I love all the fans and all their theories and I find their analyses to be insightful. The genuinely held belief theory, while I believe it to be erroneous, has been incredibly conducive to so many wonderful conversations and I love being in a community that has those conversations. But I’m going to explain why I think the lie theory finds the most support in canon.
Re-watch the finale (when you feel like you can) from 35:18 to 36:19 and then from 40:45 to the end, paying very close attention to Aziraphale’s words and his eyes. Michael Sheen is telling us a LOT with his eyes, and in the back half of the finale scene, with pacing.
For 60 seconds of footage, this setup is doing a lot of work. If Neil Gaiman wasn’t doing enough to beat us over the head with how evil the Metatron is, that glare at Crowley at the end with the non-diegetic ominous horns should convey the message. But again, focusing on Aziraphale. He initially refuses to talk to the Metatron; he’s made his position quite clear. There is no hint of regret or wavering; this is not someone who’s aching to return to the fold. The Metatron ignores his refusal and functionally forces him to accept a “cup of coffee.” The coffee isn’t spiked, but it is a metaphor. It is symbolic of choice. The Metatron is going to force Aziraphale to make a choice. Meta #3 does a great job of exploring the idea that a choice between anything and death is never really a choice. Hang onto that thought.
Notice I had you start up again 3 seconds before “The Conversation.” That’s because it’s important to note where the Metatron is right now. He is across the street, staring straight in through those giant windows to where our protagonists are about to have The Conversation. He is watching.
When Aziraphale returns, Crowley begins his “let me talk” riff. Aziraphale ought to be interested in what Crowley has to say, since the preamble is pretty compelling. You’ll notice that Aziraphale quickly turns to the window and back, through which he (but not we) can see the Metatron standing there, watching them. Aziraphale is then doing his best to get Crowley to STFU without raising the suspicion of the Metatron, eventually having to cut him off.
Because unfortunately, Crowley’s entire impetus for speaking up now is that it’s safe to do so. Only Aziraphale knows that they are in very real danger (or at least, Crowley is, but I’ll come back to that).
You might take something from the fact that he’s shaking his head while talking about “incredibly good news,” and seems to self-censor his criticism of Metatron (or more specifically, he takes ownership of any criticism of the Metatron, censoring out Crowley’s role in that, with the emphasis on I in “I might have misjudged him”).
Notice in the flashback that he begins the conversation reasonably relaxed. The Metatron also says a series of things about him that not only are false, but everyone, including the Metatron and Crowley, know are false: Aziraphale is not a leader, he’s a defector; he’s not honest, he lies all the time, in fact this entire season revolved around his one huge lie of hiding Gabriel. Not only does the justification not make sense coming from Metatron, but it shouldn’t make sense that Aziraphale would accept these reasons and it shouldn’t make sense to Crowley either. So is Aziraphale including these details in his recounting to Crowley so that he will get suspicious and figure out the jig? Maybe. Let’s continue.
Immediately upon being offered the job of Supreme Archangel, Aziraphale says “but I don’t want to go back to Heaven.” This is direct evidence against the genuinely held belief theory. If returning to Heaven and making a difference was a genuine motivation, we would have gotten a different response at this moment. But then we get something more.
“Where would I get my coffee?”
This is a beautiful response for a number of reasons; coffee should be trivial compared to the opportunity to be a Supreme Archangel, so it serves to highlight just how little interest Aziraphale has in returning. Taken at face value, it’s the Aziraphale equivalent of “not even at gunpoint.” But remember that coffee is a metaphor for liberty in this universe and this season. So what Aziraphale just said, in the language of Neil Gaiman metaphors, is:
I don’t want to go back to Heaven, I would rather have free will.
What does the Metatron do next?
He brings up Crowley.
Watch Aziraphale’s eyes before and after the mention of Crowley. He goes from confused to eye-flicking panic in the space of two syllables. Aziraphale already understands that his “no” is not being accepted, and that bringing Crowley into it can only possibly serve as a threat.
So the coffee, the choice, is a false choice. No one ever orders death. The Metatron has forced Aziraphale into a situation that looks an awful lot like a choice (it comes in a blue cup, after all) but it isn’t.
We definitely have some reliable narrator problems here. I’m going to presume for purposes of analysis that these cut-outs are accurate but incomplete, and that a more explicit threat about what would happen to Crowley if Aziraphale did not return to Heaven was made.
If we assume that Aziraphale has been made aware of a threat and is trying to hide that from Crowley, the rest of this scene reads very differently. Aziraphale cannot say, “you are in danger but you will be safe if you swear your allegiance to Heaven” or “I have to go, no matter what, and the only way we can be together is if you come with me,” but nonetheless he now has to convince Crowley to do the one thing he ought to know Crowley definitely doesn’t want to do all through subtext. Which we’ve spent an entire season establishing that they can’t communicate well when they are allowed to use their words. Disastrously, this is not a magic trick that Aziraphale can make work when it counts. Their failure to practice good communication means that, right now, when it counts most, they are not going to pull it off.
We see that Aziraphale is very hopeful that Crowley will pick up on his cues and play along. Obviously, he doesn’t.
If the whole riff about Hell being bad guys and Heaven being the side of truth and light is taken as genuine, it discards a massive amount of character development that we’ve witnessed in Job, Edinburgh, etc. (again, to all the genuine belief subscribers, I think it’s a compelling argument but it simply doesn’t account for the evidence). So if it’s not genuine, why say it? Again, to alert Crowley that something is Off, because Crowley should know that Aziraphale doesn’t actually believe that. They saved humanity from Heaven and Hell. They hid Gabriel from Heaven and Hell. Crowley knows that Aziraphale knows that Heaven and Hell are just two sides of the same coin. Notice again that Aziraphale glances out the window while he’s talking up Heaven; he knows the Metatron is watching, he can’t not defend the position of Heaven. I think it’s also worth noting that Aziraphale forcefully glances and gestures off to Crowley’s left (away from the window) when talking about Hell, and then turns his head to Crowley’s right (towards the window) to try to get him to realize that a representative of Heaven is literally standing right over there, just look out the window please dumbass!
When Crowley is asking Aziraphale if he said no, and we see the back of Aziraphale’s head, again we can see him turn his head to glance out the window. This is also when he changes strategies, and admits that Heaven could use a little reform. Because now there’s a problem almost as big as getting caught, which is that he won’t be able to get Crowley to go with him.
Which unfortunately makes the next part of this so much more heartbreaking. Because when Crowley begins his speech about being a team, Aziraphale wants to hear it. He can’t bring himself to shut down Crowley again, even though it could get them both in massive trouble. Notice that he glances out the window again during this, and the look of panic on his face. He begins to shake his head when Crowley mentions that Heaven and Hell are toxic; this can be taken a lot of ways but I’ll argue for the interpretation that he’s trying to get Crowley to STFU and stop saying shit that could get him destroyed.
After Crowley puts on his sunglasses we are in the “back half” and Sheen is doing a lot with phrasing here, specifically pregnant pauses.
“Come with me… to Heaven!”
“We can be together… as angels!”
Based on the pacing decision I am thoroughly convinced that the first half of each of these statements is intended to be the message to Crowley and the second half is always a qualifying statement to satisfy the Metatron.
Unfortunately, these pregnant pauses are completely backfiring in their effect on Crowley. The sentiment gives him hope and the qualifying statement crushes it again immediately. He is being taken on a horrible emotional rollercoaster with these declarations which are only further amping up his instinct to run away.
The only truly genuine, unaldulterated statement I think we get from Aziraphale is
“I need you!”
When it becomes clear to Aziraphale that there’s been an irreparable breakdown of communication between them and the subtext is not getting across, he says:
“I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you.”
He means this literally. Crowley has not understood that Aziraphale is offering him protection from whatever threat the Metatron has made.
Which makes this part extra-devastating and also absolutely in keeping with a major running theme of this season.
“I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do.”
Your understanding and my understanding are different understandings.
Crowley views the offer to return to Heaven through the lens of his trauma. He understands what life in Heaven would be like. But he doesn’t understand that Aziraphale is offering him protection.
But Aziraphale just heard Crowley say that he understood everything, and he’s still going to leave. There might be a little suspense of disbelief here to believe that Aziraphale really interpreted the statement this way, but we know that Aziraphale isn’t always the brightest battery-operated candle in the drawer. So under the assumption that Crowley did understand him and is still rejecting the offer, rejecting him—
“Well, then there’s nothing more to say.”
Please pay very close attention to Aziraphale’s body language for the next part. He’s active, agitated, turning side to side, arms swinging. This is a very fidgety angel.
“No nightingales.”
Aziraphale is now completely still. He’s feeling that feeling. You know it. The one where your entire body is getting sucked into the pit of your stomach. The aching paralysis.
This is their song, the one that began their romance in 1941, the secret code for all other attempts at flirtation. Crowley has walked out on him before, Aziraphale has been stubborn and obstinate before. But they always came back together, sometimes with an apology dance or other rituals that belonged solely to them.
But now the song is over.
By saying this, Crowley has broken up with Aziraphale. We can see in Aziraphale’s sudden transition from fidgety to paralysis that he has understood it this way.
Then he turns away from the window so that the Metatron won’t see him cry.
The kiss was heart-wrenching already. But we’re not done with this analysis.
During the kiss, Aziraphale has a choice to make between two very compelling bad choices. This is the Job dilemma. But worse.
If he doesn’t kiss Crowley back, he will let Crowley think that he doesn’t love him. He will have missed out on this (maybe/probably their first kiss?) and regret it forever.
If he does kiss Crowley back, in full view of the Metatron, they are in deep trouble.
He seems to do his best to split the difference. I would even go so far to say that the awkward arm waving is Aziraphale acting for the Metatron’s benefit, to try to portray that he doesn’t want this even though he absolutely does (just not like this). The anguish when they break the kiss is absolutely real, and the first thing he does is glance out the window. Through all this he has remained painfully aware of their spectator.
He wants to say I love you. He mouths it. He breathes it.
But the Metatron is watching.
He can’t tell Crowley I love you. So he has to say the only other thing that has always unequivocally meant “I love you” when he said it to Crowley. He has to hope that Crowley understands him now, even though he never has before.
Spoiler alert: Crowley doesn’t.
My forgiveness and your forgiveness are not the same forgiveness.
One more point against the genuine belief fans (I love you): if the offer to let Crowley back in is what changed his mind, then Crowley declining removes that incentive. Aziraphale should/would have consequently retreated to his last stated position of “I don’t want to go back to Heaven, where would I get my Crowley—I mean, coffee?” [post-publication nod to @theonevoice for a great little meta] It simply doesn’t hold up to scrutiny.
I think a lot of fans were already making these assumptions about the use of the nightingale song so this meta may not feel revelatory, however, it isn’t canon (yet), and I’m sure I’ll find company that agree that canonization of this connection would strengthen a lot of these story points, as evidenced by how it is already assumed by many fans.
If you made it to the end - omg thank you! Please leave a note and tell me your thoughts!
Bonus: somebody already made the song connection here
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if you liked this, you may also like:
Book of Life and what it means for Crowley
The Erasure of Human!Metatron
Baraqiel and Azazel
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Recommended related (lie theory) metas by other people:
making the subtext text by @theonevoice
Aziraphale's Decision Matrix by @yowlthinks
Nothing Lasts Forever: META by @phoen1xr0se
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