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#but anyway this got long bc of jb TT
swordmaid · 3 years
Note
Brienne / Jaime / Samwise / Eowyn
brienne
favorite thing about them: difficult to answer because i talk about them everyday but i enjoy how the presence of choice is always present in her everything. it was her choice to follow renly, to serve catelyn, to keep her promise to catelyn, to find jaime’s honor. she is never forced to do anything; everything she has done is by her own choice which is such an interesting juxtaposition to characters like catelyn where they are very much tied down and limited by their society and how they expect women to be. brienne on the other hand, has the luxury of choice--which is a freedom on itself, but that is not to say she isn’t limited by their society. she still IS, but it’s interesting how she managed to achieve that semblance of freedom even though it isn’t since she’ll still being evaluated to their standards (and unlike cat, she’s being evaluated as both a knight and a woman and she’s seen as a failure of both). i also like how--despite the cruelties thrown her way--she never perpetuates it even though she could have!!! easily!! and it’d be understandable if she does but she chooses not to do it. she even feels sympathy for the people who played the bet on her when she heard what happened to them which is super crazy like those dudes didn’t give a shit about her but here she is giving a shit about them even if it’s just for a moment and it’s just like...........wow. you are choosing to be like that and i love you for it
least favorite thing about them: worst taste in men.
favorite line: her whole speech in the quiet isle is so heartbreaking and also one of my favorite passages in the whole story. her saying that selwyn deserved to have daughters who will sing and dance in his halls, and a son that would give him honor but all he is left with is the freakish one that’s not fit to be a son or daughter first of all heartbreaking ): second of all the underlying implication that if she’s the one who died but her other siblings--whether it be galladon, arianne or alysanne--that lived then maybe selwyn wouldn’t be so dishonored is so!!!!! the survivor’s guilt of it all even though it’s not her fault!!!! and it’s really the way that she DID try to be alysanne/arianne, and she DID try to be galladon for him but none of the roles fit because she’s meant for something greater 😭😭😭😭
brOTP: pod and brienne ofc! next to pia and brienne, then sandor and brienne, and then sam and brienne.
OTP: jb
nOTP: tormund x brienne LOL we dont do that here
random headcanon: brienne likes to write poetry and she wrote a bunch dedicated to renly LOL. her old poems are stashed in the bottom of her trunk, collecting dust in her childhood room.
unpopular opinion: brienne’s self-righteous, judgemental and stubborn nature is not as explored nor brought up when talking about her character tbh and i feel like that facet of her character shouldn’t be ignored. when we explore her flaws, it’s usually about her naiveté which is fair since she IS naive--but that’s not her only flaw lol
song i associate with them: rabbit heart (raise it up) by florence + the machine
favorite picture of them: erika’s drawing of brienne in her tarth armour is one of my favourite pieces ever + this one with dunk’s shield!!!
jaime
favorite thing about them: his pov in asos is what made me like him tbh he is just SO well written, and his character is compelling and interesting. his relationship with knighthood is so interesting too like he is THE stereotypical knight in shining armor except he’s not that. he is just so disillusioned by knighthood but he still continues to follow it despite all, and it’s really the way that his identity has been formed and given to him to wear!! from being tywin’s son, then cersei’s mirror, then the kingsguard then the kingslayer and it’s like none of these identities were made by his own hands but he wears them because they’re a role to play and that’s what he knows what to do, but then he suddenly learns to step back and craft his own identity and be whoever what he wants to be it’s like..........what are u gonna be huh!!!!! it’s like there is a mirror but the person on the other side has never been HIM till now i am going insane. and i was talking about the presence of choice being present for brienne but for jaime.........it isn’t .....not really.............not till now.
least favorite thing about them: that scene where he touched cleos’ mushy head was disgusting
favorite line: how can such a night be beautiful? he asked himself. why would the stars want to look down on such as me? which is so WAAH THE DRAMA. but it’s also the loneliness and the yearning and it’s grasping for something that he can never hold, arms outstretched to hold on to something so far away and it’s also about the celestial imagery of the stars and it’s relationship with brienne (the evenstar) and arthur dayne (star of the morning) and how those two are honorable knights but jaime is not!!! and why would they look down on someone such as him!!!! fuck.
brOTP: his relationship with tyrion ): i also like ilyn and jaime, and pia and jaime. sandor and jaime would be interesting as well since that’s like ~the two beasts~ for their respective batb
OTP: jb :\
nOTP: jaime/sansa lmao
random headcanon: jaime has a fat ass. like i know he’s canonically skinny now because of his imprisonment but you’re gonna have to pry jaime with thick thighs and fat ass away from my cold dead manicured fingernails
unpopular opinion: he’s going to live by the end <3
song i associate with them: time in a tree by raleigh ritchie
favorite picture of them: fawn’s drawing of jaime being a dilf ):
samwise
mind you i haven’t read the books so im going by the film lol
favorite thing about them: their everything <3 )):
least favorite thing about them: i dont think im allowed to say shit about sam tbh i feel like im gonna be tasered if i do
favorite line: it’s your sam!!!!!!!! and also i can’t carry it for you but i can carry you waaah
brOTP: frodo/sam
OTP: frodo/sam
nOTP: um idk
random headcanon: they’re super hot but that’s not a headcanon
unpopular opinion: nothing i love them
song i associate with them: i think how was your day? by mellow fellow fits them
favorite picture of them: this one bc it’s so cute kekeke
eowyn
favorite thing about them: they had very cute outfits honestly i think her wardrobe was my favorite out of everyone
least favorite thing about them: not enough screen time
favorite line: her iconic i am no man line ig
brOTP: eowyn and merry!
OTP: i would say with that guy she ended up with but i also dont know HOW they got together?? like 🧍
nOTP: n/a
random headcanon: idk enough about her to make hcs
unpopular opinion: i thought the aragorn one-sided romance was a bit ? lol like why are you hitting on him he already told you he got someone else
song i associate with them: king and lionheart by of monster and men ig but im not so sure and that’s so general
favorite picture of them: i haven’t seen much eowyn content to have a fave pic sorry!!
16 notes · View notes
4dtk · 4 years
Text
stuck with you
pairing: enemy!journalist!haechan x journalist!reader
genre: angst, fluff, humour, enemies to lovers (hope i did the trope justice tbh TT)
warnings: cursing, f words lmao, i mention stranger things a lot in this??? mainly bc i just finished watching it w a friend. i also only use ‘haechan’ when narrating the story so i don’t get confused! the timeline for this is Very Weird as well bc like i didn’t consider how long a pandemic would last…… so Uhm. pls just excuse the weird ass time sequence. also referenced yangyang’s bastard child behaviour from dream plan where he packs his things messily and kun had to mf intervene and yangyang had the audacity to go like “see, this is how u get ppl to pack for you, now i don’t have to do anything” 💀
word count: 8k (a headache to proofread...)
A/N: first time trying an e2l trope and im not sure if it was done ok??? i didn't want it to feel too rushed so i tried to spread out the days as much as i could!! i also included small snippets of their life w the other so it won’t seem like the fic is just focusing on the e2l concept! was inspired tons by the lyrics of stuck with u by ariana grande and jb, so that song is definitely something you can listen to if you read this! hope you enjoy ^^
[day 1]
"you're insufferable," you groan, reluctantly handing over the remote control for the hotel's television after some unsuccessful scrolling.
hotels never exactly had much range anyway. 
you were very much already dreading the time ahead with the male, sadly having been stuck in quarantine not even half a day with haechan. 
offering to go to a neighbouring country to report on the rising covid-19 situation, you didn't expect your rival to tag along, no doubt seeking to craft up a better story than you would.
and so, you were now nudging the remote control into his waiting palm with a roll of your eyes. you hoped it emphasised your annoyance with him even a little, standing up to prepare a cup of tea before bed. 
"are you going to keep watching television while i sleep?" you ask a genuine question, peeking at him through the mirror of the vanity that sat outside the bathroom.
he just shrugs with a tired sigh, turning his attention back to the cartoon playing in front of him. 
"okay, well, keep to your side of the bed and i'll stay in mine. we need to be social distancing, anyway."
there's a hint of "okay, loser" mumbled under his breath, but you pay it no thought as you finish your tea and brush your teeth before you skillfully set up a fortress made out of pillows.
"ow! what the hell?" 
"your leg was in the way, jeez! move it, and i'll stop annoying you," you said, putting up the last of your requested pillows beside where haechan currently sat. 
taking one last glance at haechan, you wondered when the lockdown in your country would last before they start letting people fly in. for now, you were trapped with the nightmare himself in a sad hotel room, with only a bed to share.
"goodnight," he tells you, but the sardonic way he says it irks you to the point where you settle for silence instead. the only thing that drones on are the voices of the cartoon, soon fading as you feel into a dreamless sleep.
[day 4]
"this virus thing is probably driving me insane by day, and you, lee haechan, are adding on to it!"
"no headlines, no idea what style to write in, minimal pictures-" the doorbell to the hotel room interrupts your current rant, prompting you to storm off to answer the call with an annoyed look. 
"what now?" taken aback by your quick response, the housekeeping girl retracts with downturned eyebrows and a voice hesitant to speak. your roommate comes to the rescue almost immediately when he's heard the commotion.
you watch as he sends her a smile and a wink, deflating when he's let her in to clean up the room. you're not sure why you can't keep your eyes off the both of them as they converse, blaming it mostly on your hatred for the male.
with the last of her duties fulfilled, you offer to help her with the cleaning supplies as an apology, but she cuts you off almost immediately. there's a linger in her step, however, as she walks the short hallway to the door, evident in wanting haechan to send her off as he received her.
turning back to call him, he holds up a hand as he types down his opening lines to an article, prompting you to shoot the housekeeper girl another apologetic look.
"sorry again," you mumble, letting out a sigh at how this was all playing out. day four and you were already making enemies with the hotel crew.
"maybe day forty-one is where i fall in love with lee haechan," you scoffed, perhaps listing down all the unfortunate things that could happen while you were in quarantine.
one of them was catching feelings for your rival.
rolling your eyes, you settled on the bed to catch a few Zs as he continued to work on his article, though you weren't exactly sure about the weight your words held.
[day 9]
"haechan, what is this?" you ask with an eyebrow raised, his dirty boxers barely hanging off your finger. 
haechan only groans at that, knowing you were relentless in the laundry. even in a pandemic, he was sure you'd prioritise your clothes first.
"jesus! don't go picking up my underwear just like that!" he snatches it from you, folding it neatly and placing it next to where his luggage sat. unfortunately, yours was right beside his. 
"you think just because you're doing the laundry you're able to look through a man's prized possessions-!"
your jaw drops, "it was near the sink, haechan! i don't want to look at the checkered pattern on your boxers when i brush my teeth. i don't want it near my face either." 
haechan groans yet again, running a hand through his hair in frustration before turning back to the computer, a blank document opened up in front of him.
despite gathering findings, interviewing healthcare workers and serving the public alongside frontline staff, he had deleted every attempt at writing.
there's a rumble from the bathroom, perhaps from your upset stomach or the choked pipe, but sometimes they sounded too similar he couldn't tell it apart. haechan stifles a laugh when there's a "fuck!" echoing behind the door, though unsure if he should help you or not.
when haechan hears another crash, he comes running without hesitation with a face morphed into furrowed eyebrows and a tilt of the head.
"don't just stand there, you moron!" 
haechan snaps out of his daze to assist you off the floor, swiftly helping you even more off the floor as he carries you to the bed with a stiff one arm. you notice his other hand hanging awkwardly, probably not knowing what to do with it before you feel the soft sheets under your butt.
he gets to work within a minute, fishing for an ointment and some bandages his mother forced him to bring. he remembers it as he always has: a caring mother looking out for her son, maybe a little too much sometimes. 
haechan is thankful for his mother, now, for the stray bandages laying around in his pouch.
you watch in silence as he cleans the cut with alcohol, wincing when his hand hadn't even touched your skin.
"my hand isn't even on your skin yet! jeez, calm down." 
you shake your head, holding onto his bicep to halt his arm, "just use water, please."
exhaling in exasperation, you wonder if you've pissed him off tenfold when he leaves for the bathroom with a side-eyed glance, though not hostile.
"problematic," haechan whispers, dabbing a wet cloth over the wound carefully before applying the ointment and securing the bandages. 
"your words contradict your actions so much, haechan. i never know what you're thinking." sighing, you pull your leg away from his hold after he's done with the bandages, making your way to the bathroom and leaving him in his thoughts.
"why do you want to know?"
haechan gets silence; the lock of the bathroom audibly turns to signal another wall put up between the two of you. with another frustrated groan, the boy plops down on the chair to work on his article with the right words forming in his mind.
even if he was the one who asked, he wasn't sure if he was ready to tell you.
[day 13]
"stranger things is freaking me the fuck out, man!" haechan whispered, ignoring your pleads and groans to continue writing. 
"haechan! give me the damn laptop! i don't even know why you brought an HDMI cable when it doesn't work with the television system here!"
"well, we got one that matches it, didn't we?" he said, eyes peeled to the screen that showed the young boy, will, in the upside-down.
"you mean you did!" you shoved him, ready to disconnect the devices before haechan held you back, clearly entranced by the next sequence of eleven being able to see will in a pool of salt. 
"ugh, god, i don't even know why people watch the show!" you spill with sourness, knowing the show was praised for its excellent acting and writing.
haechan raises an eyebrow, turning to you with a strangely slow speed. 
"stranger things have received multiple awards, and you didn't give any other reason. are you scared?"
when you struggle to find words, haechan laughs at his revelation, hiding his pearly whites behind his hand as he continues to make fun of you.
"yeah yeah, i'm scared! so what?" 
"'oh haechan! oh no~ i'm terrified, would you care to provide some comfort?' jeez, don't worry, man, i'll protect you." there's a cheeky glimmer in his eyes and a cocky smirk on his face which you very much want to wipe off with the disinfectant in the toilet.
"it's not all that bad, c'mon! give it a-" turning back to the tv, the sudden attack of the demogorgon lashing out at the camera has the male screaming, hiding behind your body in fear.
"you were saying, mr superman?" you deadpan, unlatching his arms around your waist as you sink deeper into the sheets with your phone in hand.
[day 17]
haechan thrashes in his sleep, almost knocking the wine glass you had in your hands when he crosses over the pillow barrier you made. 
"what in the hell-" you winced, keeping an eye on the male should he have any more outbursts that would ruin both wine night and the stuff you were working on for the article. 
with tipsy hands, your keyboard keys unconsciously write out a letter of disdain and confusion regarding haechan, the boy sleeping next to you with a cute drooling face and curly hair.
with beautiful tan skin like that, you wondered why he didn't model instead. with a voice as impressive as his, you wondered why he didn't sign a contract. with natural hosting capabilities, you wondered why didn't fucking get the place of a talk show host. 
because man, he can get pretty bothersome sometimes.
[day 20]
the next few days pass by with a breeze.
despite not knowing how the current pandemic will turn out, you find haechan more bearable, his habits being dumped in the past with a wave of a hand.
petty arguments occur, of course, until one of you brushes off the matter like nothing.
today was one of the days you won't back down.
there's worry evident on your face, eyes scanning through every last document on the stupid laptop. fingers travel fast over the keyboard as the realisation slowly dawns on you. 
with slumped shoulders, you take a deep breath before turning to the male.
"what do you mean you accidentally deleted my article? i know we're sharing the damn laptop, but we established that you stay on your files and i stay on mine."
the other waved his hand, "i did not touch any of your files, (y/n), i'm not sure what happened."
"how could you not know? what the hell? i had good content on it, but now i have to spend more hours reorganising the news and interview answers and everything else in my notes. thanks, lee haechan."
"maybe if you weren't so caught up in me trying to sabotage your place in the publication team, then you would've believed me." he shrugged, taking a seat on the one bed like nothing.
you scoffed, arms crossing across your body. "funny how you mention sabotage because a villain never reveals their motive. that's why you came with me, didn't you?"
haechan stuck his tongue out to the side of his mouth, eyes blinking and rolling like an 8-ball that it sickened you to the core.
"villain? i'm the villain?"
"was i not clear?" you hiss, stepping closer to the male.
"no, make it more precise, please. i wanna hear it word for word. spit it out, coward."
with every word, you plunged your finger into his chest, looking deep into his eyes. "you're set out to take my place for department editor, where you know i'm best at."
"and that department would be...?" he crossed his arms, looking down at you with scorn you wished you could slap off his face.
"the..." you gulp with his face all up in yours, eyes boring as he awaits your answer, no doubt losing confidence at your realisation.
"the world depart...ment? you love to travel, right?" you trail off, biting your lip in anxiety when you remember how he was on the plane. you don't exactly remember whether he was more excited or scared.
"wrong! try again."
"politics?" you propose.
haechan's face contorts into disbelief, with his mouth twisted with perplex and eyebrows furrowed. "me? politics?"
your mouth runs dry at the roadblock you've faced, and as that annoying, stupid smirk grows, your hatred for him increases by the charts.
"naming departments i'd rather die than join, running your mouth, accusing me of deleting your files..." haechan shakes his head dramatically, rolling his eyes and letting out a fat sigh.
"you think i wanna be stuck here with your infuriating ass? god, you're so entitled, aren't you? aren't you?!"
"talking like you own the place, talking like you're the only one in this world, talking like- mhfh-"
within three angry steps, you were across the room.
within three booming steps, your hands were on his face.
within three significant steps, you were kissing lee haechan.
"you never learn to shu..." with horror, you're brought back from the trance with widened eyes.
"oh, god, sorry. what. what the hell. what the fuck?" you whisper, pushing the boy away with both hands in a panic, trying to highlight your scorn for him by wiping your lips on your sleeve.
had you liked it?
the other scurried to the balcony in a frenzy while you collected yourself in the bathroom, although no amount of water could calm your nerves. 
with shaky words in bed, you both agreed to never talk about it again.
[day 25]
"hey, i can see your damn annotations on my article, (y/n). will you stop it?" haechan whines, making you second guess if he was joking or not.
for the nth time that day, you roll your eyes and proceed to sip from your cup of gin tonic that haechan desperately wanted you to try. it was... a refreshing taste, but hell, you wouldn't drink this even if it was the last beverage on earth.
"i'm just giving my feedback, be thankful i didn't bring up that stupid kiss five days ago. bleugh." 
haechan falls quiet at that, fingers lingering over the keyboard as he typed out some note with the speed of a sloth's. 
"hey, call me donghyuck. that's my actual name," he mumbles, glancing at you through his bangs while he awaits your reply.
"donghyuck? is haechan an alias?"
the boy shrugs, "i don't know, maybe. my friends gave it to me when i was younger, and i just stuck with it."
"full sun? your friend gave it to you, sure." you grin with a gesture of your hand, almost spilling the gin in the clear glass before breaking into small laughter with the other.
[day 28]
"hey! hey, what the hell?" you whisper, feeling the boy huddle up to you in lightning speed. 
"what is wrong with you?" you whisper-shout, nudging him off your body as his phone screen remains as the only thing illuminating his face.
"sorry, i- i was watching stranger things while i was shitting and after i cleaned up... i heard something and bolted out of there."
"so now you're butt naked? hyuck, ew!" you groan, thankful for the sheets that were covering your body and his junk. his reluctance to get off you didn't seem to bother you as much as earlier, but you still wished he wasn't literally naked against you.
"go put on your underwear, you big baby. i'll be here when you come out. no demogorgon is going to come out, for real."
"no no, i was watching season two and it was that big shadow thingy that freaked me out. can't you feel this poor boy shivering?" haechan sighed, eyes never leaving the corridor that led to the bathroom.
"i can, and i also can feel your dick. please get dressed, or you're sleeping on the floor," you mumble, pulling the sheets to cover your freezing body.
[day 31] 
your face hits something soft, cuddling into it even further because of its warmth before you realise there was only one other thing that would be warm in the room.
haechan.
your breath shakes, and your eyes widen as you pull yourself away from his embrace. your subtle movement leaves him thrashing around, though, and his arms tighten around your figure slowly and endearingly.
gulping, you will your hands to stay in their place, opting to freeze to death although there are hints of heat crawling onto your face.
when you wake up, you find that his hand's in yours and maybe you were searching for one wrong thing. an anomaly, an exception. it fit in yours perfectly, however, his tanned skin glowing lightly under the rays of sun filtering through the curtains.
you hoped he didn't realise the small shift of your fingers as they enclosed around his hand.
[day 32]
"what are you doing out here?" haechan asked quietly, peeking around the sliding door before joining you on the chilly balcony. it wasn't much, but it was still different and refreshing from the old, stagnant aircon air that was blowing in the hotel room.
"can't sleep," you whisper. you had your arms around your figure cautiously, as if it could protect you from all the bad, evil and terror in the world. at this point, you weren't sure what was it that you were feeling, but it sure didn't involve entertaining haechan's teasing. 
luckily, he bit his tongue from making the usual snarky remarks.
"it's two in the morning, what's up?" 
you shake your head in reply, watching the empty streets as the last light in the apartment across you switches off. sure, at two in the morning, pavements were dusty clean, and the birds were sleeping, but there would always be younger boys smoking along the road, or a drunken group of friends laughing about a past memory. 
now that the pandemic forced everyone into their homes, everything was pretty much dead. there wasn't that excitement you felt when you saw a late-night kiss shared between two lovers or the snug hug of a child to his father who was working overtime that day.
"nothing's up, hyuck, it's fine. you can get back to sleep if you want."
maybe today you two were the one causing the ruckus this time, though. haechan may have let his words slipped, and at that moment, you knew you regretted that bloom in your chest when his lips met yours.
"you're so hard to read, (y/n). i want you to be able to trust me, tell me what's going on."
"why do you wanna know anyway? so you can expose me of my bad habits and weak points?" you whisper, eyes trained on the flickering lamppost a few yards away.
"there you go again! again with the sabotage?" haechan scoffed, exiting the small space and stepping back into the room of mixed emotions.
"is this just about your feelings for me?" 
haechan laughed, "my feelings? might i remind you that you were the one who kissed me full on the lips twelve days ago? what was that all about? i wanna talk about it, even though we said we wouldn't! i wanna talk about why you hate me so much. i wanna talk about why your emotions are so contradictive!" 
your mouth hangs open as you sputter out a heated reply, but instead gets interrupted with a knock on the door. 
"keep quiet, you damn teenagers! i don't need your petty fights at two in the morning!" with padded feet, the guest returns to his room and slams the door to emphasise his complaint. swallowing, your mind goes blank as it focuses only on one question.
"why do you want to know so much lee haechan? what are you gaining out of this? if it's not sabotaging, then what is it?!" you whisper, standing your ground as with the first argument. 
your throat is clenched up, and your fists are balled up tightly with nails digging into your palm. your heartbeat races like a fast car and your breathing's laboured in the cold room. there's no movement for a second, though they feel like minutes on end as haechan struggles to answer your question.
"what is it, lee donghyuck?" you cry out again, the sparkle in your eyes shining brightly from the tears of your never-ending dispute. he wished it was from the moonlight, instead. he wished the two of you were laughing over the rim of wine glasses and sharing the mischievous glimmer of the moon in your eyes.
"it's nothing. don't mind it." the other turns to catch up on sleep, leaving you to bite your lip.
"now you're doing it, now you're the one doing it. just tell me, you dumbass!" you mumble, pulling on his pyjama sleeve and tugging you to him.
"i like you, okay! it's out there now, i like you a lot, but you make it feel like a crime to do it," haechan whispers, "whatever. fuck this."
"no- what- no, we'll talk this out." you propose, adjusting your grip on his wrist with the curl of your fingers.
the male shakes his head and snatches his arm back, "no, forget it, and i'd prefer if you left me alone, (y/n)."
even with the warmth of his body next to yours, your body felt frozen and stiff. even with the thick duvet cover over you, you felt out of place in the stale hotel room, with colour becoming black and white, they merge into grey as the moonlight shone without a care for your problems.
there's action on the balcony when your eyes flutter open in the morning, noticing the quiet way haechan observes those rushing to work as well as social distancing officers making their rounds.
his eyes look hopeful and youthful, different from the tired ones the night before, or rather, this morning. you hadn't forgotten the angry neighbour banging on the door, and you definitely hadn't forgotten about how much you've wounded haechan this morning.
with a soft knock, you let him know of your presence and you just miss the way his eyes soften at your bed hair and messy appearance. his gaze turns hard in a second as he turns back to the apartment across yours, the balcony door showing your reflection of how hesitant you were.
haechan wished he could take your hands in his and accept your apology in a heartbeat, but he stayed seated and waited for whatever you wanted to say.
"don't run off, please." there's a shameful hand on his shoulders, and he's dying to get up when he sees your downcast eyes in the reflection across the street.
"i was too caught up in getting department head that i... didn't consider other possibilities. even the possibility of you uhm... liking me. it's still a weird concept to me, especially with how much we bicker."
"i'm sorry i didn't stay to hear out your feelings and rather, i just talked over you instead. i'm not sure if you want to accept this or not, but i want to open up—about this, about your feelings and... i don't know how much i've masked my emotions, i just know that we need to communicate."
the doorbell interrupts your apology, but you internally thank the housekeeping for bringing breakfast for the two of you.
with silence over breakfast, you weren't sure how the other felt as he scoffed down the croissant and almost burned his tongue with the coffee he ordered.
[day 33] 
the boy barely watches the television and instead, reads over the article you were working on. seeing as it was already there when he logged on, he skimmed through it out of curiosity, finding that you were rephrasing the messy typos and sentences frantically on your notes.
haechan never forgot the way you were typing away on the laptop, eyes reading and rereading the sentences to make sure they made sense, to make sure they were clear to the reader. 
the argument had taken a toll on you, too. he sees it in the way your eyes sink when your words turn out choppy and lacking, he sees it in the way you lug your body to the bathroom after a late night, he sees it in the way you struggle to hold your smile while attending an interview. 
'haechan. you confuse me. i'm not...' the note below it trails off, piquing his curiosity at what it had in store.
'haechan.' big and bold letters it wrote, with a few dozen question marks below it. your writing skills shine through even in an informal note about your self-proclaimed rival, each line prompting the other to read more.
'you confuse me. i'm not sure what you're at but, it doesn't seem natural for you to tag along with someone you hate, right? that's what i was thinking too.'
'jeez, i remember hating when suyeon told me you were coming along. i didn't believe her one bit until she showed me your plane ticket and the hotel rooms next to each other. god, and when i came here, it was a day of interviewing before the damn government decided to close flights and force us into a room together.'
'i heard that other people had to be separated. i didn't know why we were the unlucky two that had to be put in a room together. i wished we didn't, almost. of course, you annoyed me when we first moved in. hogging the tv to no end, leaving your dirty underwear everywhere, running your mouth just like at our workplace.'
'i couldn't take it, maybe. sure, my brother has similar antics, but there was just something about you that just set me off, you know? i wouldn't have thought it was the opposite, or at least, i think so.'
'i'm counting the days. day 17 and i'm not sure why i feel this bubbling feeling inside me. of course, there's anger—i'm sure it's there, but there's also this other thing i get whenever i look at you.'
'my heart clenches up, and my hands become clammy, but it couldn't be a crush, right? i would've wasted my breath shouting, and my strength whacking your shoulder.' that makes haechan chuckle and look over at you where the soft light dances over your face.
'and then i started imagining. how would your arms wrap around me? how would your infuriating laughter, which somehow turned out to be so contagious, feel in the crook of my neck? yikes, that was cheesy.'
'what would it feel like if we fell in love for one night? where would you bring me and what would we eat? would we make out in your car like unruly teenagers?' 
'what would it be like to love you? it's dumb, isn't it? i don't know. i've liked this bickering thing we had going on, and it's amusing to see you one-up me. i'm not sure if i want that to change and i'm not sure if you want us to, either.'
'maybe i'm wrong, and i'm the only one in this thing. this is so stupid, writing while he's sitting next to me. i'll regret this, maybe. goodnight.'
haechan sighs, closing the device in thought, confused at the words he wasn't exactly supposed to read. had you done this on purpose? he was sharing the laptop with you...
the boy brushed it off, placing the laptop on the vanity before adjusting your side of the duvet, hoping he could find the right words. with hesitant steps, he keeps to his side of the bed, thinking, thinking, thinking. 
when he couldn't no more, haechan fell into the spell of slumber in the comfortable hotel room.
[day 34]
"tea?" he asks from the bathroom as the door clicks behind you, returning from the short hotel walk with a new keychain hanging from your sling bag.
"yeah sure, thanks." 
the water runs as he fills up the kettle as the constant whir of the aircon and the conversation on the television keeps you company in the vast quietness of the room. 
you weren't sure if you should say anything, but when you saw the dishevelled appearance of your roommate, you knew you had to bring up the argument and apology.
"haechan, about our... feelings. do you want to talk about them?" you whispered, a reply reaching your ears in the form of his spoon against the porcelain mug.
haechan hands you the drink wordlessly, sitting on the chair at the vanity before sipping cautiously at the tea. there are unexchanged glances between the two of you before he sighs at your expectant hand tapping the sheets.
"i think it's about time we did," he mumbled, dragging the laptop off the wooden table with anxiety. the other opened it without saying anything, catching you by surprise when the mouse hovers over your note.
"hae- donghyuck! no! what the hell?"
he holds up a hand and clicks on it anyway, making your heart drop to your stomach as he turned the device towards you.
"read the bottom." haechan whispers as you pull the laptop closer to you, settling it on your lap as he observed your expressions carefully.
'i read it, i'm sorry.' you look at him and lift up a hand to prepare to whack him, a defeated sigh escaping you before you carried on.
'was it wrong to read it? of course, and i cannot apologise more for doing shit like that when we still have unsolved tension between us in this small ass room. it was incorrect, but.'
'do you feel the same as me? is bickering all we have to do? why can't we work anything out? they're the questions i keep asking myself after i read your letter.'
'i guess i was too caught up in the fight and not wanting to be the loser that i... can't deny that i've never thought about wanting to get to know you, even if you were that sought out to be my destined enemy.'
'when we fought earlier, you kissed me. i know we said not to mention it, but, uhm, it was good. i liked it. i'm not sure if the reason why you did it was because of the reason you mentioned in the note, but at the time, i assumed it was to shut me up. i thought something would happen after, though you pushed me away and apologised right away.'
'it was a far off dream that i had, but i think it was after i bandaged your foot. you said that you didn't know what was going on in my mind, and i told you.'
'it was like, i was granted an insight into an alternate world, another universe where you didn't feel the strain, where you legitimately assumed i was going for your position.'
'you scoffed when i confessed, right then and there, on day 9. i was counting, too, and it was a scary, confusing dream. i think that's why i held it off as long as i could until your words puzzled and angered me further because you just didn't get it.'
'you scoffed and told me to get lost, pushing on my shoulders where we fought on the balcony for everyone to see. you never spoke to me, you never mentioned my article nor the interviews. we never joked over wine, and we always kept to our side of the bed.'
'i was convinced that heaven wanted me to stay away from you and your heart. maybe it was broken too many times, and you had someone up there looking out for you.'
'i feel like i'm copying off the textbook of some greek mythology starter pack, but i'm for real! no kidding.' you smiled, looking at him with nervous eyes at the small joke he put in.
'i guess whoever put that dream in my sleep really wanted us not to be together because i think i would've told you i liked you on the spot itself. i let my conscious get the best of me.'
'i know this is a lazy way of conveying my feelings, and i wished i could do it with words, but i feel like you wouldn't believe me otherwise. i rushed it this morning when you went on your morning walk around the hotel and when you let me know of your stroll in a soft voice, i wanted nothing more than to get you in my arms as we wake up to the housekeeping service.'
'i didn't want any more tension between us, and i didn't want to be interrupted by your alarm while we avoid each other more. it hurts seeing you escape the room in haste. you said it was weird for me to tag along with someone i hate, too, and that someone was you. i guess you found out why.'
looking up, you found him right in front of you, mouth dry from his reply to your letter. with a gulp, you leaned forward to meet his lips halfway.
"i'm sorry to whoever's up there," he whispers, prompting a grin and a laugh out of you.
the laptop is forgotten on the bed as haechan situates himself over you, clutching your shoulder gently while his lips move quickly, fast to make up for lost time. 
"wait wait, wait, you're not playing me, are you?" you mumble in return, reluctantly pulling away while witnessing the way his eyes soften at your guard still up. haechan shakes his head forlornly, tongue pressing up against the side of his mouth nervously.
"no, i'm not, (y/n)," he says quietly with as much sincerity he can muster, removing his hand from your shoulder with a forced smile. 
"okay." there's a shakiness to your voice, but when you bring his lips back to yours, it gives you a rush of confidence. your skin is burning up, and your hands can't stop wandering as his lips capture yours, repeatedly moving against yours like a trance.
you grant haechan access to your mouth with a whimper, melting into his embrace as his arms wrap tighter around your figure. his eagerness lingers when he pushes forward, straddling your lap as his leg nudges the laptop.
"wait, hyuck, wait, the laptop!" you joke, placing the device on the floor before getting back into the kiss with just as much fervour. within a minute or so, the other breaks away to say the words you so hated to hear:
"we... we need to talk. we can't just kiss the fight off, although i very much like to," haechan murmurs the last part, making you stifle a smile. 
you nod quickly, repeating the word "okay" like a robot. your hands naturally travel from his arms down to his fingers, and you clutch them like your life depended on it.
"we have... established, that i like you, correct?" haechan whispers, scooting closer as his tea-ridden breath surrounds you. from here, you could even smell the buttered croissant he ate this morning.
it made you smile, something simple as that.
"why- why are you laughing (y/n)?" he asks anxiously, eyes darting to find the reason why you found this so funny.
"no. no no no, i'm thinking of... the croissant you ate just now, and," you sigh, resting your head on his broad shoulder. 
"i'm thinking of the way your eyes light up when you show me the articles you idolise so much, and i'm thinking of the way you cuddle up to me whenever we watch stranger things." 
"i'm thinking of the way you thought i wouldn't give you a chance, even though i've been pondering on the same thing as you. i'm thinking of the things that make up lee haechan, lee donghyuck. yes, you like me, and yes i like you, but i guess i haven't told you the reason."
"i hated you, i really did. i found every reason to convince my mind to hate you. gaining trust, signing up for events you didn't know shit about, sucking up to the seniors, stealing my friends when they didn't know your personality. the personality i didn't even want to know because i was too busy in my little bubble."
"assuming you'd want to get department head was the cherry on top, because why else would you want to tag along? that was the factor that convinced me and confirmed my suspicions from day one."
you grunt in opposition, clearly not liking the truth that was spilling from your lips. haechan deserved to know, however. you kept your eyes trained on his lap where his hands were holding yours in support, crumbling from the blindness that caused your hatred. 
"so from then, the plane ride, immigration, the cab to the interview place, the cab back, the hotel room, my hatred for you boiled over." you listed, voice breaking as you looked haechan in the eye. 
"it was stupid of me to assume, to assume the worst of you when i didn't even know you. i wasn't even sure why i felt so bitter looking at you, but the way you acted, the way you whined, worked me up so much that i figured that was how you were."
"now when i'm sitting here with the curtains drawn, i can see why you're so attractable and easy to talk to and easy-going and bright that my friends keep talking to you."
"i can see why the seniors turn to you because you're reliable and hardworking without uttering a single word."
"i can see why you wanted to hop on this flight with me because you're always curious about the world and how you can expand your skill set."
and as you said word after word, haechan observes you with a soothing hand against your forearms. his eyes shine for a different reason, for the lost time he could've had if the two of you didn't have this massive barrier. a massive barrier that's been up for the longest time. 
brick by brick, the wall is being torn down. as you hold haechan's face in the stillness of the room, you feel closer to him than you've ever felt and his tears match your frustrated ones. 
choking on sobs, delayed apologies were all you could whisper.
"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, really. we fought so bad that day, and i was so goddamn insensitive..." you sigh, swallowing a lump when his hand reached up to wipe the tears. with a blocked nose, you breathe shakily as housekeeping interrupts the moment. 
you nod towards the door as he stood up slowly to reveal the same housekeeping girl. she cleaned up the bathroom and wardrobe quietly as the two of you stood awkwardly in the small space. she had left the sheets since everyone was practically stuck in, anyway.
haechan nudges you toward the door with a shove, shooting the same housekeeping girl a small smile and a bow as an apology to the previous run-in.
"he confessed his feelings?" she inquired softly, noticing the tear marks on your face.
you bit your lip, "yeah."
"that's good, he's finally not a coward." she laughs, folding the used towels and placing them with her.
you leaned against the door, asking for an explanation with your puzzled look.
"he was someone i liked, before. we had classes back in high school. it was just a dumb crush, honestly." the housekeeping girl shrugs, resting her head on her fist in thought.
"i think he liked me, and i did too, but we didn't do much except for exchange looks and flirt because both of us were just too scared." she shakes her head and adjusts the disinfectant spray bottle, fidgeting with the nozzle.
"i'm glad he had enough courage to admit his feelings." 
nodding along to her statement, she bids you farewell as her figure fades with each step, leaving you with a sense of calmness to the end of this situation.
[day 38]
"is... is this okay?" haechan asks, arm hovering over your body while waiting for your confirmation. you smile and nod, sinking into his side as you venture in the third season of stranger things together. 
"don't you think we should be working on our articles?" you whisper, looking up at him from where you were with raised eyebrows.
the boy opens and closes his mouth in thought, gesturing to the television with an exaggerated expression. 
"stranger things, ma'am."
you click your tongue and sigh with a smile, turning back to the show as you try to relax for an online interview in a few hours.
[day 39]
"what do you say about my set-up?" haechan nudges you, proud of the hangout area he prepared on the balcony. although small, he had no trouble making it look comfortable. 
with a smile, you pop open the wine to celebrate the last scheduled interview for the trip, clinking glasses with haechan in the setting sun.
the country you were supposed to return to was slowly opening up flights for those stranded overseas and as refreshing as a different environment was, you missed home and the warmness of it.
you missed the office and your desk. hell, you even missed the mediocre coffee from the pantry.
with the last of the wine finishing, haechan pours half into your glass and the other into his, clinking one last time before you one-shot the beverage.
the high of the alcohol is gradually brought down by the mellow atmosphere and colours of twilight. as pink and orange cross over on the horizon, haechan mumbles a low "c'mere" to you in the darkness.
you hum in response and get up from your seat, bringing a pillow with you as haechan shifts to make space. sinking naturally into his arms, you sigh while you try to contain a smile full of content.
"this is nice," you admit, the corners of your lips disobeying your command, prompting you to shoot him a smile. haechan nods against your hair, a comfortable arm around your waist while you trace the tan skin of his arm.
the other taps your waist repeatedly, turning in response as he whispers out a question that makes your heart melt.
"can i kiss you?" you grin, slipping a hand around his neck and pulling him in right away. haechan's caught by surprise, laughing into your lips and striving to savour the moment as much as he could. 
a shout from across the hotel distracts you from the kiss. looking up, you realise it was the apartment resident opposite you shooting you a 'rock on' gesture.
"you guys are not fighting anymore! congrats!" you both stifle a snort as you wave back to the resident, sighing in relief when their balcony door slides shut.
"should we go inside, m'lady?" haechan giggles, replying in the form of a nod, cleaning up the area while you head in.
[day 41]
"i didn't think they'd be letting flights in so early," you mumble, folding your clothes neatly as your vision shifts to haechan... shoving his fair share of apparel into his luggage.
"donghyuck... what the hell?" you roll your eyes, shoving the boy softly as you took over the task at hand. switching personalities almost immediately, haechan fakes an interview segment with exaggerated tones.
"see, everyone, this is how you convince someone to do the work for you," the boy lays on the bed with a satisfied expression, "now i don't have to do anyth- ow!"
"if we ever live together, maybe i should punish you by doing the laundry and then folding it," you grunt, working at the speed faster than you expected while you fold shirt after shirt.
"are you proposing we move in together?" haechan peeks through an open eye, curiosity dripping from his tone. he tried to feign nonchalance but awaiting your answer felt like a weight on his heart.
your next words lifted that weight, a seemingly invisible force bringing his upper body off the bed as he stares at you in shock.
"maybe, not now but... in the future, maybe," you mumble the last part, focusing on the clothes to prevent the male from seeing the fluster on your face.
"for real?" haechan sits up, biting his lip to contain his excitement as your confirmation. 
"we'll be all stupidly domestic and shit, and i'll say i love you five years from now before you go off for work if you want that and stuff," your voice goes lower and quieter, especially towards the end, biting off way more than you could chew.
"aw! i love you too!" haechan gushes, bringing you into an embrace as your hands go limp, scrambling to explain your emphasis on the 'future'.
"d-donghyuck, i meant the future, not now..." you manage to spit out, hoping you need not answer his queries any more. your mind blanks out at the current situation, wishing you hadn't said those dumb things.
he grins into your neck, "i know, i'm just answering for future me."
you groan and escape the hug with a roll of your eyes, "yuck, too cheesy!" the boy just lets out a laugh, watching the way you fold his clothes despite your initial annoyance.
[day 42]
suyeon switches between the two of you in disbelief, finger crooked at the ambiguity of "we like each other".
"wha-" suyeon doesn't get the chance to finish the sentence before you shoot her a thumbs up, grabbing haechan by the arm and your stuff with the other.
you were happy to leave the office after a quick debrief since you two had reported to the office right after arriving at the airport, relieved when you heard he'd spare a few more days for your articles to be cleaned up.
"so, (y/n), what would you like to do now?" haechan looks at you through the reflective material of the elevator, observing the nervous wringing of your fingers.
you're glad for the material protecting your face because there's a smile that you struggle to keep as his soft, gentle voice carries through the quiet space.
the anxiety ends when the lift sounds, prompting your eyes to trail down his arm. your hand moves on its own accord, grabbing his last finger with yours as you proceed into the lift sheepishly, not missing the way haechan's eyes show his bright smile behind the mask.
"maybe i'll get to know you more, lee donghyuck."
haechan lets out a gasp, "have you not learned about me enough? scandalous." 
you feign a punch in his direction, the luggage beside you tripping over its wheels due to your swift movement. the only response you get is a giggle from the other as he tightens his pinky around yours, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek right above your face mask just as the elevator doors open.
"man, i really do want to punch you now," you mutter as you let haechan lead you, wanting nothing more than to rest in the arms of your enemy-turned-friend? enemy-turned-someoneyoulike?
you weren’t exactly sure.
he doesn't answer during the walk to the main road, nor the ride back to your home, the only constant thing being the way he admires your profile in the taxi, shrugging when you counter with a playful "what?". 
"nothing," haechan grins.
[there are more days to come]
sure, day forty-one may not have been the day you fell in love with haechan, nor the day where he outwardly claims you as his lover.
but, taking it slow never hurt anyone, either.
you know it in the way he tells you he can't go in unless he's invited and you see it in the way he asks if he can switch the television on while you prepare some drinks.
like the hotel, you know it in the way he asks if he can kiss you and the way he deepens his kisses with caution.
you appreciate it in the way he quickly apologises for a personal question, while visibly relaxing as you brush it off with a smile.
with hours pass, day forty-two becomes day forty-three, and haechan remains as chivalrous as always.
days pass, and you submit your articles. weeks pass, and you get to know the boy more and more. months pass, and you feel his love in the way he plays with your fingers in the dark and pulls you close under the sheets.
even if you hadn't acknowledged the love between the two of you, that note you wrote half-drunk matched the way you felt now—with how your heart clenches up and with how your grin never leaves your face with haechan around.
there are more days to come with lee haechan, lee donghyuck, even if it meant getting stuck together in a hotel room with unsaid words.
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