#but anyways i just keep thinking about how its been so long since ive gotten into kpop (lil over four years) and how its made me inherently

[hyperanaemia]

Sorry, I don't mean to disappear for months, but I've been getting back into reading comics after taking a super long break to play bg3. So, I've finally gotten around to reading the Knight Terrors: Robin issues that have been sitting in my 'to read' box months after they've been relevant. I’m sure everyone else had a bunch to say when it came out but here’s my two cents. 

The issues just really fall flat to me. Like, I wasn't expecting a two-shot to be a deep dive into Tim's dead-dad trauma or anything, but I do feel like it misses what the core fear/horror that surrounds Jack's death is. 

Like, the KT issues posset that what Tim fears the most is failing to save people, with his dad's death being the figurehead of that. That this failure is what makes him unworthy of being Robin. I'm not going to say that isn't true, that reasoning definitely factors into Tim's trauma. But it also just feels basic to me.

Like, 'failing to save a loved one' is one of the most basic superhero tropes at this point. I'd be hard pressed to think of a hero who hasn't failed to save someone they know. It might as well be a rite of passage.  

(In fact, here's a panel of Tim thinking as such about his parents in an issue literally called Rites of Passage.) 

Also, Tim has already had a 'crisis of faith' arc after failing to save someone with the character of Eldon Adams (Young El). It had a very big impact on Tim and the fallout of that lasted for several issues.

Identity Crisis certainly has its flaws and at times I question the need to kill off Jack in the first place. But, to me anyway, Jack's death is beautifully written and manages to tie his and Tim's decades-long storyline off in an interesting way. 

The important point to make about Tim in relation to all this is that he chooses to be Robin. He was never picked, he was never fated, he was not born to do it. Robin is something he actively chooses to be. At first, it's an easy choice to make. Tim reasons that since his parents are off doing their own thing it won’t be an issue if he’s gone all the time. But, as time goes on, Jack starts spending more time at home, wanting to spend more time with Tim. The issue "resolves" in this instance by having Jack's time get taken up when he starts dating Dana Winters. But this tension continues to be a major subplot throughout Tim’s series. Tim and Jack’s already strained relationship is constantly made worse by Robin.     

Tim feels guilty that his duty as Robin keeps getting in the way of his relationships. Tim's friends like Ives and Ariana are constantly stood up or brushed aside. Anything that ties Tim to the normal life he used to have is always being balanced against Robin. And for as much as Tim tries to maintain it, for as much as he says his normal life is what keeps him grounded when push comes to shove Tim always ends up choosing Robin.  

The thing that makes Jack's death different from all the other parental deaths in the Batfam, and the Identity Crisis did right, is that they made it a direct consequence of Tim choosing to be Robin. Bruce's parents were killed at random. Dick's were targeted in a situation outside of his control. Jason's mother was killed for her involvement with the Joker, which started before he even met her (and his dad with Two-Face).  

Jack was killed because his son was Robin. In Identity Crisis, Jean Loring targets the family members of heroes. She never would have hired Captain Boomerang to kill Jack if Tim wasn't Robin.  

(Obviously, none of this is to minimize any of these characters' pain or to say one is worse than another.)   

The added twist of the knife is that Tim had been spending that week with Jack instead of helping everyone find the killer. It's the one night that Tim chooses to go out as Robin again that Jack is killed. If Tim had stayed just one more night, even just one more hour, he could have saved his dad. And Jack lets him go because he knows how important Robin is to Tim.

This is more of an aside, I love this sequence of Tim ripping off his Robin uniform. Like obviously the intention is that Tim can't be seen wearing it when the police arrive. But the subtext to me reads that Tim is ripping Robin off, this thing that's come between them at every moment. Tim, before he even knows if Jack is alive or dead, doesn't want Robin to come between them anymore.

And Jack's death is something of a 'point of no return' for Tim. Before this, many of the people who know Tim is Robin have pointed out that he could always return to a normal life if he wanted to. Tim himself believes that he'll probably retire being Robin at some point. (I have my own thoughts that aren't relevant here about how that's more about him being practical as opposed to his genuine wish for his future, but I digress.) But after this, Tim is locked into the vigilante life. There's nothing normal he could return to. If he can’t be good at this, then what was the point? 

KT Robin just feels uninspired. It doesn't try to extract what makes Jack's death unique or interesting. It just picks the most surface-level takeaway you could have from it. Like, it's not just about being not good enough for the job. It's losing everything because you chose to do this job and you still don't know if you're good enough to do it.

#sephs comic reading tag #tim drake #jack drake #my 'in order' reading list has me around the start of Cataclysm right now #and it's been a few months since I've read Id Crisis so forgive me if I'm misremembering anything

[thatbitchsimone]

re gypsy rose: being center of attention is all she knows. i can't blame her for being attention seeking, because that's her whole damn life. she has always gotten attention from doctors, from people, from news, ever since she was a child. first she was the sick child and now she is the woman who was forced to fake being sick child who killed her mother, she lost the opportunity to normal life and normal behavior long, long ago. i can't blame her for going to the news or talking about herself, how can she know anything else?

thats also a really good point and theres probably at least some truth to that but idk if i agree that shes attention seeking in that way. like i dont personally think she craves fame or whatever i just think shes like… a normal girl i guess. like yeah she got onto social media right away, but tbh she would most likely do that even if she was completely unknown bc most women her age use social media and ofc she would want to participate and post cute instagram photos with her husband and pretty selfies etc bc why not? its what everyone does and shes finally free to take part in normal life.

and the reason shes even doing these press tours is to promote her docuseries which is where she for once gets to speak out fully and tell her story in her own words and be truly heard. she knows her story has been told by others, she knows about The act and the documentaries and how viral her story went while she was away, and now she wants to take her story back and tell it herself which is only fair and id probably do the same if i was her

and yeah she wants to meet taylor swift. well duh what taylor swift fan would not want to meet taylor swift? shes just sharing her dreams. shes always been a dreamer like that, and honestly if she gets the chance to actually meet her fave singer ofc she will take it. anyone would lol.

but anyway, she is used to having the spotlight on her just like u said but i guess rn thats almost a blessing in disguise in a way since that means she kinda knows how to handle it better than most. like id be overwhelmed as fuck in her situation but thats bc ive always been a private normal person who has never been in the public eye but shes sorta.. accustomed to it which is sad bc as we all know she never should have been bc she should never have been in that horrible situation in the first place but at least now that can be an advantage for her during the media hype. shes being smart with it and she wants to use it to help others and be an advocate which i think she will have lots of success in and do lots of good in the future.

i guess what im trying to say is that in my opinion shes not seeking the attention, the attention is already on her and shes just embracing it and making the best of it in order to do something good and to finally have her voice heard for the first time in her life. when u have gone through abuse and have had to keep quiet about it and keep it inside ur whole life ur gonna have that urge to scream it out and let the whole world know whats been done to u and its healing and freeing and empowering to do so when ur finally safe and ready to. she needs to be heard and seen for once and she deserves it bc everyone deserves that. its very human

[clutchpowers]

Sooooo... i wanted to stick this little rambly thing at the bottom of the redraw but it would have made it look UGLY so im doing this separately... just wanna talk about the whole thing and What Not.

TLDR: its been a slash positive ride thats been worth it to try "something new" every year and my favorite piece out of all of them is the 9th. also for the curious heres the comparison of the 5th anni piece to the recent one (2018 -> 2023)

anyway. personal post time.

oh where to begin *rocks on my rocking chair* i guess it would be with the 5th anniversary piece...at the time it had been a long while since i did lineless art and i thought it would be cool to try it again for that one so i did by redrawing an old piece from 2014... that was the first "finished piece" i made of Them. i think i even made it into a wallpaper for myself lmao. anyway after i posted it i was like "aw man i should draw something every year until the 10th" but i thought yeah right. im going to forget next year like the idiot i am. but i Some How managed to do one every year... th worms got me... i honestly didnt think id make it all the way to the 10th but i did!! AND WITHOUT MISSING A DAY EXCEPT FOR THE 7TH WHERE I WAS A WEEK LATE???? UNREAL especially when fun fact! every year i had no idea what i wanted to do! all i knew for sure is that i wanted each piece to be out of my comfot zone to push me to do something a little different. unfortunately the subjects tm where always the same so it feels a little. samey. but these are my celebratory posts I GET TO ONLY POST ABOUT THE OTP SUPER BLORBOS OF ALL TIME

the 6th anniversary was a redraw of that one scene. you know the one. the helicopter one. fucking hate that scene btw it actually causes me psychic damage i cant watch with the audio or ill scream. but it is my favorite scene of mine despite all the horrors it causes <3 and i wanted to redraw it as if it was a cartoon... like i had taken screencaps from the lcu cartoon in my head. i still remember the backgrounds being such a pain in the ass. honestly id like to go back and redo this one one day too or do something similar to the concept because its a fun one that i always saw done growing up and i wanted to try it myself.

for the 7th anniversary you can see the turn.. no more humans... return to lego... i was getting a little more confident in drawing them in the lego form so i did another redraw this time with the ending!! honestly i still like this one and how it looks even with how late it was but i wanted to test my confidence and do a real True and Finished piece with COLORED LINES and EVERYTHING!!!!! im glad i ended up taking the turn because for the LONGEST TIME i wanted to try and draw them as lego so bad because all i did was draw them as humans and its funny because now its the exact opposite. glad this piece was kinda the solidification in my head that yeah okay im a bit better at drawing the stylized lego toy now i can keep drawing them like this without feeling like im going to want to delete this in 2 weeks.

the 8th anniversary one is so weird. somewhere toward the beginning of the year it got into my head that i wanted to do a comic of them but time/school would have gotten in the way so i ended up opting for a page. another redraw of the ending scene which honestly out of all of them this is my least favorite one and its solely because its all so off. i def could have formated it better so the background shot doesnt take up the entire fucking page but then again im not a comic guy and this was my first time so the layout was bound to look HORRID but this is something id like to come back to ive had the idea of making like a genuine short comic about them since FOREVER and now that im a bit more experienced (lying) i would like to make one day!!!! just gotta stop getting caught up in my scripts!! and going in circles!! Because im obviously not a writer and i keep getting first-hand embarrassment from these!! but ill get over it one day lol.

OH THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY PIECE MY BELOVED. ONE OF MY FAVORITE PIECES ACTUALLY i love this stupid thing so much you have no idea.i know its re-using lineless but i just loved the idea of what it would look like lineless AND IT CAME OUT SO PERFECT I LOVE IT SO MUCH obv it needs a few touch-ups so the main issues dont stand out to me but god. i love this piece so much. idk what came out of me to make this but its so good ill never get over it. and the little lego them as a cake topper ITS JUST SO CUTE I DONT HAVE MUCH TO SAY OTHER THAN I LOVE THIS SO MUCH SORRY

finally. the 10th anniversary piece. oh my god. okay. i need everyone to understand this. i had woken up with this fucking Unbearable pounding headache that was trying to kill me. my body the entire day wanted me to stop and lie down, but last night i was already done with a good chunk of it and all i had to do that day was finish some lines and the coloring?? i literally don't remember all i remember is my body actively trying to shut down and force me to stop and sleep which i took a nap? didnt help. so i said fuck it im finishing this. i was. an entire goddamn corpse arched over my laptop. i was so delirious the entire time its a fucking miracle it even came out as good as it did but honestly. i still hate how it fucking looks. like you can TELL when i gave up (the shading) and it sticks out like a sore fucking thumb to me and it pisses me off because i knew i could have done so much better if i wasnt being stricken down by gods hand and his every attempt to get me to rest. idk like im generally proud ot it, with this one i wanted to go out with a bang tm so i tried to draw every important and relevant character instead of ALL of them like I was originally planning LMAO but ah well. maybe one day when im faster at drawing. this one i defiantly wanna go back and touch up but i everytime i open the file i can see 40 more things wrong with it and it drives me nuts. so ill just have to wait for when im ready. i guess.

can i just say though. the improvement is crazy. it always catches me off guard because tbh i uh. dont like my own art. im getting better at not fucking hating it because i can pinpoint everything wrong with it but whenever i see the side by sides it always surprises me. i always dont think im improving but then i see it and its like wow i really am getting better! i still suck at 3000 things but im getting better! and its overall just a nice thing to see after having drawn them for as long as i have... the power of the worms is strong and has ruined my brain...... speaking of i know ive said a few times that i fucking hate certain pieces, not just LCU related ones but almost anything i post, but if you love them and are able to look at them with a twinkle in your eye then thank you. genuinely. i honestly love looking over the tags of people exploding and saying nice things. it warms my cold little heart and im glad there are people out there that genuinely love some of the things what i do! even if its just fanart and its just their blorbo. thank you for sticking around even tho all i do is draw my otp super blorbos :'^) this game means the world to me and im glad like more than 2 people wanna spread it around.

to wrap back around to the anniversary stuff and speaking of big love to the people out there THE FREAKING EPIC ZINE i was just a small thing but it came out amazing even for how small it was thank you to the contributors and thank you to everyone whos downloaded it!! its still getting the occasional and i love getting the notif in my email about it. i love that there are still people out there who wanna see it and all the hard work everyone put into it to celebrate the games 10th just thank you again i really does mean alot to me ALSO IF YOU HAVENT CHECKED IT OUT PLEASE DO IT IS 100% WORK YOUR TIME AND ITS DIGITAL WITH PRINT AT HOME STICKERS AND YOU CAN KEEP IT AND LOOK AT IT FOREVER

uh to end this off....would I like to do this again..... I mean I kinda am? by that i mean ill do the big numbers (15, 20, 25, 30, 40, etc) till the day i freaking die!!!! but yeah no countdown stuff ever again!!!!! sorry :^( it was super fun to do though!!!! and im glad i did it that piece is the conclusion to the whole thing but that doesnt mean ill stop drawing them. duh. theyre my characters now! but heres to many more anniversaries and to hopefully another game! or to just see them again in any other lego media! or even better... a mischaracterized cameo in ninjago!

#long ass post lmao congrats if you actually read it all and made it to the bottom :'^) #i typed this all out yesterday thats how i got it out so quick lol

[trainingdummyrabbit]

I Am So Glad You Asked!!!

So basically... Tokitoswap! a swap au in which the tokis and the kamados swap roles-- yui swapping w/ tan, and mui swapping with nezzy. 

aka: Two Twins Have A Bit Of A Worse Time Than Usual And Suddenly Find Themselves In The Middle Of A Thousand Year Struggle Between Humans And Demons (Which Are Real By The Way)!

. it also happens to be an exercize in having a concept, going “hey, wouldnt it be funny if--?” and then it sticks and you have to commit. i keep trying to explain in a way that Makes Sense, but im gonna be honest. theres just So Fucking Much going on and ive been trying to write this for hours and i dont even know where to start summarizing WAHAHAH. i dont know if its very Canon Aligned but it sure is very Me Aligned and i sure am gonna commit to the bit! anyway. 

its heavily in-progress and was supposed to be a clean one-role swap but! Well!!!! It Sure Isn’t Anymore!!! 

under the cut since im Incapable of keeping things short:

funy lil swap au! ft:  Yui: “Older” Brother who Thinks he’s in charge. a beleaguered 14-year-old who stumbled into being a slayer and super isn’t prepared for this. Unfortunately, having your sole remaining family turn into a demon is kind of antithetical to “go home and pretend nothing happened.” he is handling this very well. (lie) a user of wind-breathing, his main priority is keeping him and mui safe, and is a bit overprotective. which is a problem, since mui will charge headfirst into the first sign of danger to protect him. their relationship is a bit messy, but they’re pretty much the only thing holding each other together. a kid trying so hard to act bigger than he is-- and inevitably, routinely failing.

Mui: Odd Little Creacher secretly hiding Rage More Powerful Than A Thousand Suns. just barely surviving the attack of their family one fateful night by That Man, he manages to completely break the curse and hunger or being a demon through his own sheer will. unfortunately, he also completely loses control of himself and, in order to make sure that energy doesnt completely tear him apart, his consciousness completely mists over-- leaving him rather airheaded and distant in an attempt to hold back the roaring of a new power he cannot control. . but hes so silly!! ^w^ couldn’t hurt a fly!!

Murata: Some Fucking Guy who just so happened to get roped into all this. is just absolutely baffled this kid is out here slaying demons like this, and is honestly doing his best to make sure he doesn’t stupidly get himself killed. despite being at a higher rank than them, though, he’s kind of... well, he hasn’t gotten the hang of water-breathing techniques. try as he might, he just cant quite reach the same skill level as some of his peers. even still though, he has to keep trying. he has a job to do, and promises to keep. 

Susamaru: Professionally identifies as a Problem. a user of beast-breathing, she just kind of... shows up one day and starts antagonizing. originally started fighting the twins for the honestly-kind-of-reasonable reason of “That Kid Is A Demon And Thats A Fucking Problem” but got distracted messing with yui enough to get. kinda curious about the other one. she’s loud and brash and fucking annoying, but at some point she just... asserted herself. and never left.  she’s an odd case. ridiculously skilled at the whole slaying-demons thing, she just... doesnt seem to take things seriously. has a penchant for irritating people on purpose-- but its purely for the extent of understanding how they work. what makes them tick. she’s here for a good time, not a long time. most of her peers don’t like her much, but once she’s decided that she likes someone, theres very little she wont do for them. and these nerds just so happen to be next on the list. 

. all in all, its just these dorks against the world. there’s just. a ridiculous amount of mess ive written about how they function and how their arcs shape up, and while there Are some other roles and etc written up, my brain has been completely laser focused on These Four In Particular, so . \o/ ! anyway, heres a bunch of ambient sketches from all over the place of Them(tm)

#pikramble #<== new tag for whenever i inevitably infodump again #ANYWAY IM BEING SO SERIOUS WHEN I SAY its been MONTHS. #like. i started in like september last year and its just. theyre most of what ive been thinking abt!!! #POLITELY ALSO gonna. ask for no rbs on this post specifically. not that i can stop u #JUST BC this isnt like. a very easily presentable au and also im very nervous all th time n if this breaches containment ill explode. ty <3 #this is for me adn th handful of th rest of u listening 2 me during this sleepover. #but like. this isnt even the most of it besties. #i havent even gotten into yui's weird thing with Fate or susa's thing with Conflict #or mui's struggle with what it means to be a demon; what it means to have autonomy; what makes you You. #or mura's self-discovery or their weird; patchworked sibling bond or what it means to experience loss and the nature of Moving Forward #not even mentioning nezzy's whole deal or whatever the Fuck is wrong with kai this time or!!!! AUHG #lichrally will answer any questions but this took me hours bc i kept getting nervous WAHAHAH #all this to say: i spent months thinking abt an au and accidentally made what might as well be weird fuckig ocs. thankyou <33 #dont expect any of it to be like... too canon compliant; things r a mess but i care too much to bother w staying in line w it!!! #anyway u WILL see these guys every so often. whether au-wise or oc-wise. if u see any suspiciously familiar ocs from me No U Dont(tm)

[yandere-daze]

HIIII DAZE!!! i hope you're doing wellll, its been awhile since ive opened tumblr and then i saw all the self-aware enstars posts and now i just finished catching up KSJSJ AND LORD. FIRST THING I SAW WAS UNHINGED AND DERANGED ANZU. GODBLESS. girl i can fix you. I CAN FIX YOU. SHAKES U WAKE UPP!!! OH! AND ALSO!!! i've been listening to a lot of double face's music lately and i think i just unintentionally fell into the pool of double facePs AND IM AFRAID I CANT GET OUT... (1/3)

Welcome back!! Yeah, there has been a lot of new stuff about the self-aware AU indeed! I think the masterlist is up to like 37 posts now? Which is kind of crazy to think about when you remember that the inital ask that started all of this wasn´t even to long ago ksdbbd

But I´m really pleasantly surprised with how enthusiastic everyone is about this AU! I never thought it would catch on this quickly and now everyone is sharing these cool and interesting ideas! I´m kind of behind right now with answering all of them but be sure that I will get to it eventually if you sent in an ask ^^

Also yes, how rude of Tumblr to cut you off like that! I don´t understand either how the word limit works and why some are able to get through that somehow and just type to their heart´s content. Maybe it has something to do with the platform you send the ask on? Like maybe there´s a difference between the app and the website? I truly have no clue though, Tumblr works in mysterious ways skjnflsbf

gn reader

tw yandere, murder, possessiveness, jealousy, kind-of torture?

Double Face as partners in crime

Yessss unhinged Anzu my beloved! You might not be able to fix her but she appreciates you trying because it means you will spend more time with her <3

And omg yes double face! I love pretty much all of their songs, how do they keep doing it?? My favorite is probably Stippling, I don´t know why but it just gives me this really calm and comforting vibe, it´s become some sort of a comfort song for me honestly. I might be biased because Kohaku is one of my favorite characters anyway but he sounds so soft and lovely in that song 🥺

Once again having to out myself as a fake fan because I actually don´t know too much information about double face in particular? I´ve been wanting to read A dark night´s passing for so long now but I´ve just kept putting it off because I´m anticipating that it will probably be pretty angsty? I also really want to read the Valkyrie x Double Face tour event story but I don´t think that one has been fully translated yet so I don´t want to start reading and then be stuck on a cliffhanger :/

But from what I know about them so far, the partners in crime thing sounds very possible! I´ve already talked about Kohaku in his general yandere headcanons and his horrortober oneshot, but he literally would not hesitate killing someone for his darling. He may not like this type of dirty work too much when it was demanded of him due to being part of the branch family but when it´s “for the benefit” of the person he loves? Well, he sure is grateful of all the experiences he´s gathered so far, to say the least

Madara is also someone that would go very far for a loved one, all with a smile on his face that looks more unhinged the longer you look at it. He´s so fiercely protective and he´s just willing to do anything to protect his loved ones, even if it´s reprehensible. He´s already willing to do some messed-up stuff in canon but when he´s a yandere? Yeah he can be for real scary under that cheerful demeanor. Around you he would be very friendly and passionate so you would never even imagine that there are these dark thoughts hidden inside of him. I mean sure, he has his overprotective moments but that´s nothing too bad, right?

Since they´ve gotten closer due to their work as a unit now, they´re also bound to find out about each other´s willingness to do anything for you. I think for Madara it stems moreso from an intense urge to protect you from any possible threat, while Kohaku likes to pretend that´s also his motive even though his true reason probably has a bit more to do with jealousy than he would ever like to admit.

So for that reason, they would be happy to partner up with each other if there was a target that needed to be removed ( in their opinion at least). Though Madara is the older one of the two, I feel like it´s more likely that Kohaku is going to do the actual killing most of the time. He´s been trained to do it quietly and efficently so he´s the safer option if they don´t want to get caught. Madara may serve as a means to get their victim to go to a specific place where Kohaku can ambush them. I mean he seems very friendly and caring to most people so there´s nothing to be afraid of when he leads them into a pretty dark and secluded part in the middle of the night, right?

If he´s especially angry at something their target has done, then Madara might throw some insults their way or throw a few hard punches of his own, but he´s mostly involved with the cover-up and cheering you up if you happened to be close to the person they killed. Kohaku isn´t that good at comforting words so he just kind of sits beside you awkwardly as he pats your back.

Kohaku meanwhile obviously shines when it comes to eliminating the target. He doesn´t feel any kind of remorse while doing it, believing that they deserved their fate. And while he´s usually pretty quick about it, he may sometimes let his emotions get the better of him when he´s especially jealous of today´s victim because they happened to get too close to you for his tastes. Maybe he takes some more time with this person, not striking any vital organs on purpose to draw out their death so they´re able to feel the sort of anguish he goes through when he saw them talking to you so casually.

In the end he´s relieved knowing that he made your life a little easier by getting rid of this troublesome person.

So in a nutshell : There´s a lot of potential here! ^^

#yandere enstars x reader #yandere ensemble stars x reader #yandere kohaku oukawa x reader #yandere madara mikejima x reader #kohaku oukawa #madara mikejima #yandere ensemble stars #yandere enstars #kohaku x reader #madara x reader #ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #double face #crazy b #mam #ensemble stars self aware au #yandere self aware ensemble stars au #yandere self aware au #gn reader #yandere #cw yandere #cw jealousy #cw possessiveness #cw murder #yandere x reader #🍡 anon

[stemmmm]

i got back from a week long trip so now i've had plenty of time to ruminate on things and im finally ready to see what the fuck this guy has been trying to cook

episode 7 post

ep1 ep2 ep3 ep4 ep5+6

i think i saw a drawing of this guy earlier today except he had boobs

so lion's pretty obviously supposed to be the baby from 19 years ago, right.

ay ay aY AY AY

oh bah, the way it started out as just the last word in caps for a couple lines made me think dlanor was disguised as shannon or something but nah shes just like a robot or possessed for something.

i feel like ive been told explicitly 15 times that beato was the original beatrice's daughter who kinzo believed was her reincarnated, as if this is the first time im being given this information

damn bro you look hideous

alright so we're positing that original beatrice was enough of a fascist that she stuck to mussolini even after the rest of the country gave up? ok.

alright alright alright we're talking about whether the axis were cowards based on whether or not they surrendered and how alright.

REALLY FUNNY FOR THE V/O TO STILL BE FULLY JAPANESE WHEN HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE SPEAKING ENGLISH. OH BUT "I CANNOT SPEAK ENGLISH" IS?

interesting that this beatrice is using the baby beato voice. I've been trying to get the logic of it, and the best I can figure is that its just... to differentiate? differentiate WHAT exactly, whether its between human beatrices or just the humans and the witch im not sure yet. but I miss her other voice :( the flashback we got of her earlier that I didn't mention also used this voice even though im fairly certain the original version didn't.

i get that its for plot contrivances because beatrice had to get here somehow but WHY on EARTH would someone bring their daughter on an armed military vessel in the middle of a massive war. also because i touched on it earlier i'd like to clarify, i get that the participants in war are not necessarily people who agree with any of it. and even then, your circumstances of birth and pressure from your family will put you in situations out of your control (given, thats what this whole thing has Been About). idk i dont want it to come across as i don't get what's going on or like im an idiot or something. i may also be a bit defensive because i haven't really enjoyed the reading process terribly much in a while and didn't appreciate some of the feedback i've gotten in regards to "just keep reading, you'll like it, youll understand" because i dont think its properly come across that i think i Do understand, im just squicked the fuck out by a lot of things in part 6 and so far haven't seen anything that would allegedly turn my opinion around that much. but there's still a lot left in this to go. im just. bored honestly.

REALLY funny how much "bice" comes off sounding like bitch. all my friends at home call me bitch

oh my god also hilarious. the golds in the submarine isnt it.

EVEN IF ITS A TOP SECRET BASE WHY THE FUCK DONT YOU HAVE A DOCTOR?

anybody else have to stop and hold their head for a minute every time wildly specific gun specs are listed for no reason whatsoever

anyways this fight over the gold is fun, i figured something was gonna have to happen that got everyone else off that island and left the gold, so this makes as much sense as anything. and feeling the drive to live despite it all after seeing genuine bloodshed for the first time is a little overdone but just fine.

*curb your enthusiasm theme starts playing* well at least he insisted on taking her to a doctor

ohhhhh we're confirming beato is really and for true kinzo's biological daughter *head in handssss*

PLEASE STOP PINCHING THIS MAN'S ASS!!!

oh my god, first acknowledgement that battler isn't here. i kinda figured since he's always been kinzo's mirror of sorts, he wasn't gonna be here because kinzo was alive. like there's no reason for that to be the case, but to me the logic felt sound. battler and kinzo haven't been in the same place at the same time, at least not in 1986. and it seems that will continue to be the case !!

STOP PINCHING EVERYONES ASSES

lion sucks, actually. wretched personality.

i was holding back on making a joke about how maria talks about beato the way christian billboards exclusively go on about how there's "evidence god exists" or whatever, but now she's reciting the bible word for word so i dont know what to do with my point but i have to share it now. i do like that her point seems to be that because maria doesn't have a father, she is jesus. good for you girl.

BEATOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. and with the voice! ok so definitely that's the witch's voice.

alright this whole scenario can be argued as maria having an imaginary friend about it but if that piece of candy that beato told her to keep as a souvenir and not eat is still in maria's bag, magic is fucking Real.

also beato telling maria to practice basic hygene as her witch traini-- *has a jimmy neutron style brain blast and remembers the 1 (one) shinto shrine i've visited* OH, NO THIS IS A SHINTO THING. OK HELL YEAH. more of beato the "western" witch using japanese magics. i see i see i see.

fellas i may just like witch beato

#m.txt #umineko liveblog

[narwhalandchill]

anyway tho like. now that ive played the 1.2 story and sat on it a bit id say my overall thoughts are def mixed. i enjoyed a lot of it but theres some things that sorta just stick out or dont work and the pacing definitely worked against the story

(just a long rant/ramble upcoming its not coherent at all lol)

one thing that rly rubbed me the wrong way was like. while overall this story rly sold fu xuan as a character to me (i was a huge fan of her presence overall) the dan shu thing just felt? wrong? and like to be clear it wasnt just fu xuan the scenes writing was off in general but her role in being the one countering dan shus points just made her p central to the problem.

but like my issue is that dan shu is previously established as having very understandable reasons behind her resentment of lan that made her compelling as twist villain imo. Yet that resolve was nowhere in the scene in her rebuttal of the xianzhous ways?? when i think that shouldve been The moment of her calling out the xianzhou and actually challenging fu xuan properly. it wouldve been an even better opportunity to expand upon how fu xuan responds to being confronted with the xianzhous flaws and hypocrisy and problems. but somehow yassified dan shu really just. had a generic villain speech and thats it. the callback to their heritage as former followers of abundance was... fine? but like it wasnt that impactful. and fu xuan essentially calling her nothing but a power hungry villain when thats very much Not what dan shus motivation boils down to sucks and now players who didnt read her diary or play/pay attention to her side quest will think of her as just a generic bad guy and not a very tragic complex figure of her own

then the like. underutilization of blade was just like. ok what was the point. it IS funny to reference the tuxedo mask meme and how he skewers his ex yet immediately gangs up with him against yanqing and all but honestly he shouldve gotten to be more feral and present than he did like its just meh. ig its kafka keeping him from messing up elios script but cmon. i want more of him. yanqing also got done so dirty in that scene like. he shouldve gotten some more screentime and focus even if his job was p much to just get bodied. kid just watched jing yuan make deals with criminals no way he isnt affected by it

in general i was p shocked how inexistent the high cloud quintet was from the story. but ig w how rushed the pacing was for dan hengs backstory reveals at times already ig its better left for later (hopefully). i just rly hope this means that the topic get its time to shine properly in the future. esp since im p sure they never even named any of dan fengs crimes outright which is a curious choice.

jing yuan got a rly solid characterization and i definitely enjoyed it!!! even if im a little miffed at how they didnt give dan heng enough breathing room to come to terms with the emotional impact of facing his past and memories thanks to the plot moving forward so fast and he was kinda the one leading that. but he was still great - i liked the scheming side to him and the arguably pretty ruthless way he leveraged dan hengs exile status to force his hand to cooperate a lot. his reasoning makes sense obvi but its still a very brutal and utilitarian approach and i like that energy for his character. his duty is to the luofu above all else even if thats far from all he is about. overall his and dan hengs interactions including dan heng very much emphasizing his desire to be seen as separate from dan feng were a highlight for sure. and jing yuans final showdown moment against phantylia slapped obviously

and then w dan heng im torn between like. really loving all the good stuff we got with the insane cutscenes and the vidyadhara echoes and then wishing that he got just that little bit more for his own realizations and inner conflict. and the part about not properly featuring blade also hurt his story too imo bc the anticlimactic nature of the scene where blade confronts him and forces the transformation and how he n kafka just... leave rly kinda flattens the impact of the reveal moment esp since thats when jing yuan just all but openly says ok time for the plot. but they still did a great job selling DHIL and i think im overall a fan of how they seem to have handled the dan feng vs dan heng thing (and its roughly what i was expecting). dan feng is dead but its never just that simple either. i hope theyll be exploring the exact nature of dan fengs sins and the sedition in the future

im so mad i spoiled myself the tingyun thing bc jfc the neck snap wouldve hit So hard if the reveal itself was also a complete surprise. and its sth that was genuinely well built up like i remember thinking her 1.0 dialogue was kinda sus but wouldve never imagined the actual truth. dont do leaks folks sometimes this happens and it sucks :/ but i have to say phantylia herself was kinda? underwhelming. i liked when she picked up jing yuan like a little bug she wanted to squish and the boss fight was cool but to be fair. this was like 50% bc of how bad the sound mixing was for all of her dialogue that overlapped w in game battle. she rly lacks the necessary menace and imposing energy when u can barely even make out what shes saying 😭 her voice shouldve been as loud and large as her..... Presence. jing yuan carried the boss fight and the final cutscene but man the fade to black rly didnt do the abrupt ending any favors like we just teleport to exalted sanctum and thats it???? maybe jing yuan dies maybe not!!!

overall my prime issue is p much just how like. it feels like they shoved 3-4 mini arcs worth of stuff into one speedrun when all of them deserved more focus and exploration and the pacing rly got rough at times. it wasnt like inazuma level bad but it does get me wondering if hoyos just bad at doing these big conclusions to prior build up and holding the story threads tightly together until the end.

this comes off as super negative helpp but like. by no means did i hate all of it so dont take it the wrong way lmao. its more that there was good stuff there but also wasted potential. for the most part i was having a blast but to be fair that was 40% just playing blade ridiculously underleveled through it all. i only got him to lvl 80 for the boss fight

#rambles #hsr #hsr spoilers / #long post

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

if we’ve covered some red flags, what are some of your green flag ships? like of those “fuck yesssssss” ones that you really enjoy

AYO SELF CARE HOURSSSSSS. i do genuinely like talking about the controversial ships but thank you for the positive vibes anon! love that

under the cut, just because the post is a little long:

actually im not super into shipping i think? i definitely value being able to imagine a dynamic for even the nichest pairings and have a lot of fun stretching or emphasizing certain parts of each characters' personalities to get them to work the best while opening up the potential for some development on each characters' side (thats exactly why im doing the ship bingo! its a ton of fun!), but theres very few things i actually like. Ship beyond surface level thoughts tbh. and recently the things i actually do ship have gotten increasingly niche. so enjoy this ramble that mostly pertains to specifically me and only me LMAO /lh

metadede ofc is the big one. not niche obviously. extremely beloved by me hiiiiiiiiii. they just have so much to work with in canon it makes so many varied interpretations which are a blast to see honestly. in general i love seeing how people portray their friendship too. an idiot whos smart to smart guy whos an idiot communication. enemies to friends to lovers..... their personalities bounce off of each other really well and the content the community makes is always a+. actually im going to take the opportunity to share my favorite mtdd fic ever. this is like pretty much peak metadede to me if anyone wants to know what i hope my personal interpretation will live up to [link!]

people might be able to tell ive been getting very into dametaberge. oh my god im so insane. no one look at me. dmk+jambacult found family Real. i have like three comics in my drafts for them. its mostly dametaberge thoughts rn but i like to think susie joins them later to make a poly ship. dmk and susie are a little tense at first but susie is, "like so over her knight phase," as she says, which dmk is extremely conflicted about whether to be offended or relieved at. and then they learn how to relax around each other and are always the two in the relationship to have awful destructive ideas, which flamberge vetos or approves of on a case by case basis. they get very happy and excited when flamberge approves of their awful plans

and of course my beloved gsa ships.............. theres falsgato which i am incredibly insane about thanks to my friend dragging me into it and now its a thing in my animeverse. enemies to friends to lovers I KEEP SAYING IM SO WEAK FOR THAT. dragato was a huge asshole to falspar for Various reasons regarding the nature of the gsa and perhaps dragatos own personal insecurity, but once they lost the war they got to bond since dragato like, realized how little the shit he antagonized falspar for actually mattered in the first place. and falspars a guy who really sees the best in people and ahahahghdjk its a whole thing its a whole thing i wont go into it rn LOL

theres also metarthur which is my very very beloved longtime rarepair. which i um. uh. ahahahah............. i get very slightly nervous talking about on main because a lot of people hc arthur as meta knights dad or parental figure but i shouldnt be nervous about hc differences really....... anyways theyre supposed to be like parallels of each other. people who are opposites thematically (arthur being leader of the gsa; mk being a former deeply infamous demon beast) who find themselves in similar positions in that they both kinda struggle with their sense of purpose vs their sense of self. meta knight sees his past struggles in arthur and so he finds himself drawn to him. he cant really Solve his situation, but (during their war-time relationship specifically) he hopes to offer some solace to him which functions as a form of catharsis to mk himself too. the two get to connect and understand each other in a unique way. i wont get too into this one right now either lol since the dynamic changes a lot depending on if its their during-war relationship or post-war relationship but theres the basics. i have a comic expanding on their general relationship in my drafts too but its at the bottom of my to-do list tbh. maybe someday though

im only into this one casually nowadays but morphogala... you really cant go wrong with "knight of death saves the greatest warrior in the galaxy from their torturous fate". something something the themes of wishing for the release of death being subverted into yes, death itself releasing you but in a way that actually Saves and rescues you instead. the hope and love in spite of all of the hopelessness AHHHHGH the themes of this one make me so weak. theres so much potential...... i really love this one on an aesthetic level too

you know i take my comment on "not super into shipping" back i think my multishipper ass has disillusioned myself into thinking being insane about like 4-5 ships isnt enough or isnt the norm. maybe i am insane about shipping......... oops

ships that make my thumbs up list in that i like them in concept but dont ship myself would be: marxolor; any of wave 3 x each other tbh. i have them as just besties in my hcs but paired up in any way is very fun; i kinda like shadow metadede but im really particular about the dynamic of that one; fransoos gets a very big thumbs up from me for themes and concept+enemies/rivals to lovers; metagala is. i dont super get it myself but the aesthetics alone are absolutely on-point enough to put this one in the thumbs up category. yayyyyyyy. im sure theres more that im missing but i think that covers any that arent too niche

#asks #anonymous #ask to tag #im not tagging all those ships lmao #thank you for the ask!!!

[rottytops]

i definitely think the adhd medication (successfully) rewired my brain and made me seek out long term goals over short term pleasure like i have been literally my entire life so now my current goals are to unfuck my credit to move away from my shitty roomies, get my new car and actually get into an ltr lmao

SUPRISINGLY ENOUGH 2 of these 3 goals are either in progress or very obtainable ive been saving a tunna cash and i can get a new car next month after i get my license renewed and ive found this cute little studio that i can maybe move into if i get help co-signing it, then ill just camp out there until my loans are paid off in 50000 years

the last one though.,,,,its so weird. the like. burning fervor to date someone long term kinda slugged me in the back of the head! ive always WANTED a nice relationship but it was never a PRIORITY to me bc i had video games or whatever. these new feelings made me realize ive been living my life like. entirely for myself which is FINE but my standards for myself (combined with how ADHD made me content with literally anything as long as it was easy) make me like. gutter trash tier as a partner, i think. essentially as i am now, unless the other person is equal parts deranged and shitty, im utterly unlovable which is like. tough tits i guess. but if im honest about it i can at least try to change it. part of me is conflicted; if i have to change myself to become more datable, is the person really dating me, or am i just creating a false persona to get conditional love. its a scary thought but at the same time im not really changing MYSELF past getting in shape and taking care of my skin, its more im giving up on being a dopamine addicted manchild and getting my own apartment. with my own car and stuff...these are actually just completely normal goals to have and i already wanted them i just kinda have new motivation for it lmao!

you cant just force a relationship and theres no way im attracting the hoes to me in my shitty room, so i think i need to??? go??? outside??? and hang out with ppl??? utterly mortifying but when i get my car next month i think i can actually do that. id like to make more irl friends as well, i had a bunch of friends in college so. i guess ill go to more smash locals or something but outside of that sigh sigh i have no idea.

these major revelations have all hit me in like the past 2 weeks, since i started my medication and the dosage was upped, i have a lot of work to do and not that much time to do it, really!!!! i hope i can become someone like. worth keeping around in a few months time...!!! the pieces are there i just need to like, put them together....



i could write a whole thing on how mad i am that it took me so long to get medicated and how fast i became a Normal Person after being on meds but like idk that line of thinking doesnt help anybody...!! i accomplished so much even with my debilitating ADHD and now i can do so much more with a mindset that can actually handle the shit neurotypical people expect me to be able to do, considering how im literally good at everything, combined with how ive managed to survive this long with almost no real help from irl people (seriously ive gotten more assistance from my online friends than literally anybody in my family both financially and emotionally) means that me WITH medication is gonna go absolutely insane. im going to be like ultra rich this time next year, probably LMAO....or at least have a boyfriend AURHUFG



anyway if u read this for some reason i love u and also give me ideas on going out and meeting people, i think i can hold a conversation just fine but where do people even GO. do you guys think ppl at bars or whatever know about disgaea. hmmm.

#ultra long post talking abt me and my new goals since starting medication #you can also read this as me moaning about being single but. shut up.

[crazywolf828]

please go outside and cleanse your mind from writing weird ass porn. think about it. you badically write teenage cartoon porn on a basis. (rwby) you obviously have an obsession and need to stop thinking of these fictional characters bedding eachother. all these, 'kinks' and 'tropes' youre writing for is really harmful and honestly really offending. i truly truly hate all of what youve wrote. ive read a few, and unsurprisingly your interpretation of blake and yang are also ass. it makes me laugh so hard. im sorry. like, i dont think you realize how ooc you write them, and it annoys me because its not the hot shit you think it is. you need more substance in your stories. literally all you write is cock, balls and pussy. like, i feel like everytime i try reading what you've posted on ao3 i want to rip out my eyeballs and forget all of it. im being a hater right now but honesty is my best trait. your booty fics flood the bumbleby tag here on tumblr AND on ao3 jesus im sick of seeing your cornball ass name. go find something else to do, or maybe, just delete yourself from the internet and stop posting fics.

Oh wow it's been a hot second since I've gotten hate this long, fucking hilarious. So first off, they are adults. In the show by the time they get to Atlas, they are adults. I am not, and will not write nsfw of underaged characters. Second, yeah I know it's ooc for a lot of them but like also, how do you know? It's hard to write kinky shit for characters when you've never seen them in that situation and you don't know how kinky they are. As for the tags... I suppose I could ease up for kinktober, a fic every few days is rough I can see that, but also you can just block me on ao3 and Tumblr! Curate your experience instead of bitching about it! Or, I tag every fic on here with 'my fic' and 'don't mind me' so block both those tags too like? And like why do you keep reading them if you've already established you don't like them??? So wild.

EDIT: I'm also realizing you've probably only read my kinktober fics which, tbf are supposed to be kinky. Go read my packer fics, or my transmasc yang fic, or the body worship fics, or the multiple multichapter fics that have actual plot. Like hell, one has over 600 kudo's (which is still wild) so yeah I do have plenty of plot based fics, you just didn't look for them. Literally look at my pinned post if you want to see them. They're right there.

I mean, I did well enough that a person who hates the bees loved my angst band oneshot so clearly I'm doing decently enough.

Anyway "cornball ass name" and "delete yourself from the internet" are terrible insults, try better next time! :)

#one day yall will beat urbanite subhuman #my brand was smut now its cock balls and pussy😎 #fuck off dude curate your space #god this is hilarious #'delete yourself' they say #what a pathetic attempt to tell me to kill myself #its funny that you think thisll affect me #man youll hate tomorrow's prompt #you need more substance they say like bro fuck off #ive written enough multichapter aus #don't mind me #answered #ask #anon #also its funny i dont think ive literally ever mentioned balls in my fics now that i think about it #wold

[bluebeetle]

been trying to think about how to adjust my Internal Lore for my da:o warden now that alistair is in love with her since i was playing her as a lesbian originally and ended up not rejecting him (i was gonna go back and reload the save but then i got the rose scene and it was too cute)

ive been kinda approaching yorii’s story with the theme of duty vs personal wants, with how my warden is a dalish elf and she had to leave behind all shes ever known to join the wardens and stay alive (in part because she doesnt want to put her clan through watching her slowly die) and the balance of her feelings about humans and the injustices she sees along with getting the help needed to stop the blight (sometimes leads to a lil stabbing, sometimes leads to realising she has to use her skill of talking through things to avoid problems--and she can be very convincing. or very intimidating)

but also with her pushing alistair to accept his duty as heir to the throne and all in a time where not only is a stable ruler needed, but one who is just and kind and not-fantasy racist is really needed. 

so the whole breaking up so he can become king thing, in part because of yorii’s own actions works well with these themes (And then her more selfish personal wants leading to her convincing alistair to do morrigans weird sex ritual, to keep him alive and happy despite basically forcing him into a position he didnt want and all the misplaced guilt and issues there)

anyways i also see it as like. she knows she prefers women 100%, loves leliana and thinks shes beautiful and all that, but with alistair its a weird mess of like... definitely shes come to care about him a lot and hes funny, and he is the first human she’s ever gotten along with, and then not long before they’re all going to the final battle, suddenly hes confessing his love for her (before leliana ever went farther than just flirting and stories)

 so shes just not sure if its really love or just a deep friendship but he’s clearly in love with her and its a mess because they could die very soon and tensions have been all over the place and really it just becomes easier not to think too hard about if its “really” a romance or if she even likes men or not and just enjoy his company regardless, because its comforting to have someone care so deeply about you, especially with all the guilt brought up over tamlen (Who can also confess being in love with the female dalish elf warden so.........)

 and then it’s completely over because of him becoming king anyways, so in the end yorii decides just not to think too hard about it, since thinking too hard about it sucks ass to do and wont change anything anyways, or how other people saw it. she ends up with leliana afterwards as they get closer, but stays close with alistair and continues on. is she bi is she gay? who knows shes not touching that topic with a ten foot pole bc thats a whole mess of emotions and introspection that doesnt need to be unraveled anymore. 

yorii dries out the rose he gave her and keeps it though. it makes her think of both him and leliana (with her dried andraste’s grace and her story about her mother)

#im sorry this is cringe #but i have been thinkin bout it #also tempted to create child oc from them sleeping together esp since its implied #anora is infertile so.... here raise this elf baby and pretend its anoras #yay you have an heir that doesnt have the soul of an old god! #txt #dragon age

[goremet-chef]

random little (very long) vent thing lamaoo

my birthday is soon and im like. IDK ive just been incredibly fucked up recently with like. anti trans legislation and general negativity, so ive been trying to keep away from twitter since thats where i see most of it

last year, my mother had me come get my cake with her and to my surprise it said "happy birthday dominic" and i couldve cried, like i was wearing my face mask cuz it helps my dysphoria but holy shit i was smiling so hard

she said dominic when she sang my bday song with my siblings and it made me really happy

she hasnt called me dominic since, and whatever im like. im not really over it but i will say and act like i am because it prevents me from dwelling on unnecessary pain yknow?

i guess recently she's had a change of heart, cuz she told my sibling that she wants to start calling me by dom and that she doesnt want me to hide who i am from her, and i know what she means definitely

ive been very like.. closed off? especially since her bf came back (he fucking sucks i hate him) i just havent spent time with her or anything unless hes gone cuz i definitely dont feel comfortable being myself around him

anyways this is pretty cool all things considered. i have told her before that i knew she wasnt gonna be part of my journey and ive accepted that, and usually i say shit and she just ignores it but maybe she actually heard that and listened

so, dominic is having his 4th bday soon and im happy about that, but like.. we're gonna go do mini golf for my bday which is a surprise! because i mean. if you know me, i dont really like to leave the house, like at all. i guess thats kinda how covid affected me? theres no reason to leave the house anymore so i guess i wont (and i guess it worked cuz i havent gotten it) but it was like. so horrible for my mental health

like i always said "oh, yeah, i dont mind being inside id prefer to not go outside anyways" and thats true but its like. doubled my social anxiety somehow. im normal in public until theres people around me or god forbid interacting with me 💀💀 the way i act when i have to buy my own shit is awful, i get sweaty and i stutter and i shake, i need to take a long breath after it fucking sucks it feels awful. JUST TO LIKE. PUT SOMETHING AT THE CASH REGISTER AND AHVE THEM ASK IF I WANT A REWARDS CARD OR WHATEVER THATS ITTT it sucks

so yeah im surprised i agreed to it, but its glow in the dark minigolf and one thing about me is i love minigolf and i love glow in the dark im gonna have a five nights at freddy moment (which means i gotta wear my shirt like i just gotta) and im sure itll be great fun (pleased about glow in the dark cuz im sure itll be. DARK in there and i dont have to worry so much about people seeing me)

my problem is that im hanging out with my aunt as well and i love my aunt!! everyone on my dads side except for my dad is amazing i love them, but i dont know how she would be yknow? idk if my mom has spilled the tea about it and told her or if theyre gonna just put my deadname on shit this year again like. i dont know

what if it did say dominic? how would my aunt react? its scary to think about, im so scared to LOSE more of my family

i havent even technically lost my moms side, its just that theyre a bunch of racist queerphobic losers and i know if they knew me, they wouldnt want me anymore

yeah im just stressed about it, all this shit is starting to pile up inside of me and i feel like ill explode and jsut say fuck everyone im ME and i dont give a fuck what you think, cuz no, i dont

my immediate family that i live with knows, my grandma knows, thats all that really matters. the only benefits to knowing my great grandparents is they give me money on my birthday, and that might sound hollow or whatever but its true, they fucking suck

just gettin tired of this sht yknow? even now, there is a hostile on the farm!! my moms bf is so homophobic, most likely transphobic too

hes SPECIFICALLY annoying, all the shit i order comes under dominic and hes brought me my things multiple times so he knows, but he'll still say shit like "thats how females are" or "hello girls" and to me its honestly like

its FUNNY because its like the only thing he knows about me is that to him, im a girl SKFJS like genuinely. i dont share anything with him because i fucking hate him, hes the absolute worst. the fact that theyre married and hes my stepdad technically is something i just deny, im never calling that man my dad lol

anyways im thinking about getting a hip binder? i realize thats one of the things im insecure about, is my fat is at my hip and even when i bind it gives me a feminine sort of shape so a hip binder would be great

i realize that i actually dont care so much if im plus size, i just care if my body looks feminine or not

i will absolutely be your fat guy friend with no hesitation okay like that shit? yes im so content for now like that is acceptable, but yknow fat distributes differently so its either baggy ass clothes orr stay inside SKJF

okay im done talking thanks for coming to my ted talk you are safe (for now)

[enevera]

E F H U :-)

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

u ask this like ive completed a fic ever in my life hsabjdl

but yeah none of the fics ive completed are all that worthy of a sequel in my eyes ig, but i did have an idea for a sequel for aootd where quentin and eliot get back to their own timeline and have to just like figure out if the whole thing they just experienced happened at all. also is quentin alive? who knows, great question to ask someone not me hbjdfs

(dont watch the magicians dont do it if anyone looks at that fic summary and goes oh that looks interesting but i'll have to watch the show first stop right there dont do it its not worth it the suffering is not worth it literally DO NOT)

the rest is under the cut bc this got soooo long asbhjkd

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

jsdbnlkf okee taking this as a sign to talk abt my satoshouko convo thank u for enabling meee hehe >:D

“Stop that,” she says, frowning. “Don’t lie like that to me, it’s creepy.” “And you know all about creepy, huh?” he teases and feels the ground under his feet come a little closer. Unimportant conversation is an old comfort and he clings to the offer presented to him. “More than you,” she returns cooly. “Now get up. You’re coming back to my place.” She begins walking around the morgue collecting her own things. “I— What?” He stutters, all of him at once, fingers twitching and eyesight shaking. He’s still too many feet above the ground for this, it seems. “Why?” “You’re a mess,” Shouko explains, throwing a packet of cigarettes in her work purse; she has a nicer one that she brings out shopping and to cafés, he knows, that Utahime bought for her when they first started dating. The one she has for work is heavily worn and a dull brown; she’s had it since high school and they both pretend to forget where she’d gotten it from. “I don’t trust you by yourself and I don’t think you want to worry your kids, so you’re coming home with me.” “I’m fine, Shouko,” he tries to protest, but she shoots him a sternly unimpressed glare and walks back over to get in his face. “No you’re fucking not, don’t even try that right now. It won’t work. Besides…” she straightens up and turns away from him, tugging her bag’s strap up her shoulder. “You’re not the only one who needs some company tonight.”

okay on top of the brainrot writing this sparked in me my favorite favorite thing to write is characters with differing goals and they have very differing goals. i like when a character has already made a decision and i like writing characters disagreeing a bit. i just loveee when i get to write different motivations and i love them i love this convo and i like writing shouko mhm

H: How would you describe your style?

uhhh thats difficult lol but like i know i lean pretty hard into being very descriptive and i like a lottt of metaphors and imagery, but my main goal is always to get my mental picture across as much as i can, so i guess thats why. i like to keep dialogue on the sparser side, though. most of the time people dont monologue, so i try not to let the characters do it and i spent a lot of time rlly figuring out how ppl naturally speak so that i could do that ljsfdhb <33

U: Share three FOUR !! of your favourite fic writers and why you like them so much.

djhbsvjhdfbjv uhhhhhh shit lolol i dont usually read all that much by the same fic authors bc i jump fandoms p often (before jjk anyway, usually hyperfixations only last like 3-4 months for me, this has been like. eight or so; not counting dr who i come back to that a lot sbhjkd), but i will try my bestttt

yukiiiiii <33 obvi obvi echo's writing is so good that i read their bsd fic and i know like nothing abt bsd sfjbhd

biscaaniii!!! admittedly ive only read their jjk works but theyre so so so good highly recommend!!

krissssssss!!!! hi hi hi kris writes naruto stuff but u should read it everyone should read it her writing is soooo gooddddd!!!!!!!

also u habibi bc though i admittedly havent read all ur fics the ones i have read have been sooo good i love them v much i need to finish the miminana fic and read the rest dbjhf <333

ask game!!

#i want to link more mutuals but if i did i think we'd be here forever #also i didnt mean to only link mutuals ahjsfb i just like.. have a habit(?) of accidentally becoming friends w authors i adore #its a rlly strange pattern actually hm #but yeah these are mostly jjk shit gets diff if i try and think of more bc then we rlly will be here forever #and also i dont usually tend to follow authors that much im only subbed to like 10 ppl on ao3? sjkfad #4 of them are the ppl i recd sbhjlf #askask #friend tag #sorry this is so long btw ig i got talkative

[transmandrake]

Having a lot of thoughts. I know for a fact I'm autistic, no doubt about that, but I'm starting to think I have ADHD now perhaps.

This was never an issue before but I absolutely cannot stop walking around and switching tasks. I have 2 very interesting books on the counters of the kitchen that I'm literally reading a page of then continuing to walk in circles. I drew some stuff this morning in the middle of this, very fun and good but I have to move. I wanted to play a bit of Hades the past few days and even though its very fun even that isn't stopping me from repeatedly walking around, even 'til my legs hurt.

I've been describing this as 'oh, I have to walk around for a few hours in the morning before I can sit down and work' but now even hours isn't wearing me out. Hell, being worn out isn't getting me to sit. I'm musing on getting a standing desk which would be nice anyway but that's not a solution if the problem is that I can't... focus.

It is a problem I have. I can't write, even if I know something. I don't know how I passed English, I barely gave in any work. Part of why I make a comic and not a book. Even when I write a line my brain feels like a magnet repelling from the page, not even in an unpleasant way, I just have to get up. Then come back... oh, where was I, figure out what I was previously writing, get up again because that took effort and time... it goes nowhere. I have to ride a bout of focus or bust. I can't even rely on deadline panic, I only panic AFTER the deadline. WHY!

Its an absurd thought but. What if I've always been like this and its only now becoming a problem now we've 'fixed' my periods? What if the only reason I was so good at sitting down and doing stuff is because I didnt have the energy to move? I mean, the writings always been a problem but now everything feels like writing. ...Have I just been losing pints of blood every month for so long that I convinced myself I'm a naturally sessile and dormant person? I've never felt this good and alive my entire life yet ironically I've never been this unproductive!

Not to mention, I do crave carbs and sugar, and do on occasion find drinking cola to focus me. But I also get quite a hype off both (even the carbs. Ever get super pumped eating some toast? Just me?) so I'm not sure if that's a clue or not. I will never ever try coffee No Matter How Nice It Smells so I can't take any ideas from that. If it did focus me I know I'd get addicted to it, and addiction is very. Very. Very strong. In my family. Can't risk it.

I definitely don't hyperfocus on anything though, not like how I see other people with ADHD do (All my other siblings and my mom are). On occasion I'll have a burst of focus for something but never for more than, say, a week. Usually a single day. I think that's.... 'normal'. Had incredible Spamton brainrot, drew like. 2 pages of him, and my brain said, 'okay, I'm done' and that was it, wierd as hell feeling. Literally felt the fixation lift. I never finish videogames unless they are very short because I cannot focus on them long enough. Even if the passion comes back, I restart the game, because its been ages since I last played. There are some games Ive had dozens of playthroughs in and hundreds of hours sunk, and not a single one I've gotten to the end of.

What keeps me running is definitely my special interests... there aren't many of them, but they are always there, and I can always reliably count on them for... brain occupation. I do not get bored often. My boredom comes from being unable to engage with them, not from a lack of wanting to. However they are weak and the focus off of them does not override the Walkies anymore. I still want to do them, but I can't.

Shame even an unsuccessful assessment would be so expensive... BUT if I want to reapply for disability (please... I am... not capable of typical work schedules...also free trains so I dont have pressure to learn to drive...) I need some formal diagnosis...

I still want a proper autism one (I have one already but its shit and evidently wasnt enough) but it'd be more efficient and cost effective to see about possible ADHD rather than getting a bunch of paper telling me stuff I already know.

#adhd #autism #ummm im not sure what else #ask to tag #i feel like theres some warning im forgetting

[ankhisms]

going 2 briefly use my blog as my diary im doing ok rn dont worry im just wanting to muse about some thoughts and feelings on things

its been maybe like... four months maybe or something like that since my oldest friendship just suddenly fizzled out where for ten years we would talk literally every day and then suddenly for no reason i can think of he just stopped responding to me. we have each other on snapchat and the most interaction weve had is sending each other pictures of our pets and stuff occassionaly and sometimes exchanging a little bit of chatting about whatever we sent to one another on there but its like.. very much not the same yknow. like i guess were still on good terms at least i think we are i have nothing but deep love for him in my heart but at first i was so confused and hurt, we hadnt gotten into an argument or anything everything was completely normal and then one day he just stopped talking to me. ive been really sad about it off and on but this past like month or so i think that ive just come to accept it and its not hurting me as much. i do sometimes still feel sad about it, but im glad that we still have some contact even if its just sending pictures of our cats, and now im almost realizing that maybe this is for the better. idk thats not really the right wording for it but i feel like i tangled my own existence up in his for so long that maybe it contributed to my issues with my sense of self (not at all blaming him for that) and ive felt like. lighter recently where i know that i cant force someone to talk to me and i cant change how someone else feels. all i can do is care and have compassion and try my best, and ive already been trying and reaching out and i cant force someone to take my hand when i reach out to them with it. and like.. i do think that there were some times when we were younger that he didnt treat me fairly or was kind of shitty, but we were kids and i dont hold that against him or think that hes shitty now but it makes me worried that hes somehow going back to unhealthy mindsets or habits. idk part of me feels like maybe it boils down to us somehow becoming different people even though it didnt feel like anything was wrong at all or like we were drifting apart or becoming too different to still be friends. and yeah i guess thats all to say that im thinking about it and him and im sad about it but not in a soul crushing overwhelming way but in a way where i go i love you i hope youre well even if you dont want to walk through life together anymore

something else thats been nagging at me recently is just how looming and big my self doubt is and how much i struggle with confidence and not only not believing in myself but also being overcome with the feeling that no one believes in me. rationally i know that feeling isnt true and that theres so many wonderful people in my life who support me and believe in me but its linked to my paranoia issues and is really hard to shake off. i know that theres no easy solution to having insecurities like this and that really you have to just keep moving forward and trying your best despite them, but it can be really difficult in my situation where im essentially trapped in a toxic home and isolated by my parents who control as much of my life as they possibly can and i think because of that along with a life time of abuse its a lot harder for me to even to begin to build up confidence or push away the feeling of no one believing in me even if again, i know this is not rational or true

anyway thank you if you read this ily again im fine i feel alright rn i just needed to get some thoughts out. i want to learn to believe in myself and to be confident in myself

[snaileo]

Can you talk about your tobio lives au sims more

sorry for the late reply!!

so my version of the au did not originate in the sims, its sorta its own au of an au which you know already im just stating this for anyone else. There are also two different versions. theres the atb sims pilot that was never picked up, and then the atb sims reboot. Theyre like this because the pilot was on my shitty laptop, i didnt have as many mods nor cc, as well as packs either. the reboot is more beefed, its on my better pc, more mods/cc, a lot of the packs. Tobio hasnt even been born yet in my reboot save file and ive been playing it for 2 years i think. Im too lazy to update my game rn bc of the fact i have so much shit lol anyway time to talk abt each of them Pilot: this was way back in 2019 i think and it was honestly no substance other than i just wanted to play umataro and hiroshi and have them get married have a family. i dont have all the screenshots bc theyre on my laptop which is busted and not worth trying to turn on. but when tobio was born he had hiroshi's blonde hair and i decided to keep it, so the pilot is also known as blonde tobio au lol. tobio took on hobbies such as the violin, much like how his dad plays piano. atom and uran were eventually born too but my laptop was dying before they could have their birthdays (also my laptop DEFINITELY could not run any good, crisp graphics so everything looks gross and shitty) 1. hiroshi & tobio 2. Teen tobio playing the violin 3. atom and uran

i had tobio going thru a little bit of an emo phase, but i kept the blonde hair lol. i even built them this big ass awful house tht took forever (but i was proud of in the moment) but my laptop could BARELY run it, and then not long after my laptop started dying lol.

The Reboot: ah yes. better pc, better graphics, more mods, and cc this is finally the reboot. ive been playing this save file for multiple years now. its more fleshed out, more attention to detail. Motoko did make an appearance in the original pilot, but here she has more of story, I also spent time actually building lab 7, which is where the save file started. The reason I rebooted the atb sims is because I had gotten the university dlc which I thoguht Oh this is perfect bc it also adds robots so a106 made an appearance, and as i got more packs, i added more characters for instance I made tom when I got cats & dogs.

I have more of a story planned for the reboot, but specifically for tobio, I want him to grow up on a little bit of some farm, as I intend on hoshie to be good at gardening. Now my hoshie for my sims save is the OG once upon a time hoshie, not ATB hoshie. anyway tobio will grow up with chickens and I intend to have hiroshi be his godfather (to eventual step father) and like im excited to play more sims i just hate updating the game. my next goal for the save file is to update hiroshi's side of the family since the story has advanced but his family is. stagnant/still in the past. my idea for tobio is for him to still be a loner but to have more family. I also intend on having atom and uran be his younger half siblings (pretend theyre robots)

in my last play session i had motoko take her kids and her friends on a vacation. im tryinnnnnggggggg ot get hoshie and tenma to know each other more and am hoping after the vacation that i can push even further for tobio to finally make his way into the save

oh forgot!!! to mention1!! i also want reno in this save file buit i cant bring him in until tobio is born (hiroshi is gonna foster to adopt him)

im not the best at explaining my sims stuff without going on long tangents since ive been playing it for so long but im ending it with a screenshot of hiroshi with his godchildren (motoko's twins, yuko and daichi, taken during my last play session of their vacation)

#atb sims #atb sims reboot