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milkykotek · 19 days

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success story: celebrity crush turned boyfriend

First off, I'm aware people may not believe me. However, that's completely fine! I simply don't care, because it happened, and I wanted to share. I will not be sharing explicit details due to privacy reasons for both me and my boyfriend, especially since he is a popular actor.

It took me a few weeks because I didn't want to jump into dating immediately. However, you can immediately manifest anything and quantum jump! I chose to do it step by step.

"Dp" is a term used in the LOA (Law of Affirmation, Assumption and/or Attraction) community to describe your desired person. It can be anyone. 3D is the 3d dimension, the world you see in front of you. 4D is your thoughts and the reality where everything you want is accomplished.

It happened, but... what did?

I manifested my celebrity crush! I've been interested in him for some time now (due to personal reasons me and my now ex boyfriend – whom I manifested, too – have broken up). It was quite a wild ride, to be completely honest, and as always, I turned out successful!

There seems to be a blockage many face while manifesting celebrities, or otherwise famous/popular people. They're putting them on a pedestal, and so shifting the focus from actually manifesting to idolizing them. Of course, if you're manifesting a celebrity sp, you're most likely a fan of them already – that's not the point.

You're god, you're on top of the universe, you're the most important person there is. I don't care, and neither should you, about your circumstances. They're nothing but that – a circumstance in the 3D. As we all know, the 3D reflects our beliefs, assumptions, and the things we attract by engaging them. We engage them by giving them attention and reacting. An example can be someone giving you a dirty look – "Oh my god, they hate me!," you could think, and that is your assumption. You're not sure if they were even looking at you, because they could've been looking behind you, or simply have a resting b*tch face. And so, you thinking they frowned at you is an assumption. It's quite easy to create one.

And it's also easy to change that! The LOA (Law of Attraction, Assumption and/or Affirmation) community likes to overcomplicate manifesting by claiming it is hard to change your beliefs. It really is not. Every time you encounter a negative thought (thoughts create assumptions, assumptions show up in the 3D), simply change it. It's as easy as it seems. "I feel so sad", you can change that by saying, "I'm so happy and relaxed". Don't accept things you don't want to experience. Something happened that upset you? No, it didn't. Instead of dwelling on it, ignore it or affirm "It never happened", create a new story, "(something else) happened".

how did you manifest a celebrity dp?

You manifest a celebrity just like you manifest anyone else. They're human, and I don't believe in free will – anything I don't want, I change. It may sound weird, but is there even such thing as normal when it comes to manifesting and all the possibilities the universe offers?

The only thing you must do is take them off the pedestal and regain your power and control. It's not about them – it's about you. They're the obsessed one, they're the one manifesting you, you're on their mind.

If you're searching for a recipe, there is none. However, I can share a few ingredients – things that helped me:

— affirming. Affirming is nothing more than repeating what you want to happen, ex. "My dp loves me."

— persisting. You really don't want to give up until you see results. Of course, it doesn't mean you have to manifest 24/7, but then again, we think all the time, and so we manifest all the time, too.

— living in the end. Living in the end is living as if you already had your desire. How would you feel? How would you act, what would you do? Surely you wouldn't be stressing over results and whatever it is you're manifesting, because you'd already have it. Belief isn't necessary as long as you affirm and persist, but it sure does help.

— having someone to talk to. Having someone you can talk to about your manifestation journey and being supported was really important to me. I want to thank my best friends Star and Aurora, for always supporting and believing in me ❤️. Others would've called me delusional but you guys stood by my side.

proof:

Just breathe. For this part, I wanted to share some affirmations I used.

"Everything I want is mine. Everything I want, I get. I want it, I've got it. I'm a master manifestor. I always manifest whatever I desire and want."

"My dp (insert their name) loves me. My dp wants me. My dp is obsessed with me. My dp constantly texts me. My dp is texting me right now. My dp misses me. I am constantly on my dp's mind. My dp is constantly thinking about me. My dp is my boyfriend (or girlfriend, partner, anything you desire). I am my dp's best friend and soulmate."

Good luck ❤️. 222

#manifesting #manifestation #loa blog #loa #loa tumblr #law of assumption #law of attraction #law of manifestation #law of affirmation #success story

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oharababe · 27 days

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❝ ACROSS FOR COMFORT ❞ ficlet premise. when he feels that the weight of the world is crushing him, miguel can only think of one person he can go to and unravel his biggest fears. he'd go to you even though you are far away from across the multiverse.

pairing: spiderman 2099 miguel o'hara x reader genre: mature warnings: hurt/comfort, longing from afar word count: 2,148

Miguel knew that he divided the Spider Society the moment he let everyone know that they would not stop until Miles Morales was brought back to him.

Anger coursed through his veins when the young Spider-Man managed to slip through his fingers and escape from the Society again. He’s been defeated by a sixteen year old boy, who only had a year experience as a vigilante, who didn’t know much about the big sacrifices all Spider-Heroes had to make. And yet, he managed to draw everyone out of headquarters so that he can escape where no one can find him.

But Miguel will make sure that Miles is found, even if he has to take drastic measures in order to protect the Multiverse.

The boy wasn’t supposed to be Spider-Man, and yet Miles managed to outsmart him single-handedly. Outsmarted himself, Spider-Man 2099. Who has been protecting the multiverse for years with more experiences compared to the young hero. Who has never seen how fragile the universe is. Who made one mistake that caused the ruins of other people’s lives, wiping their existences off the arachnid humanoid poly multiverse (yes, that name does sound a little far-fetched, but he will always refer to the multiverse as that). Miles Morales reminds him of himself, and Miguel hates it. The one who thought that he can have the best of both worlds; saving lives and having the people close to them alive.

I thought we were supposed to be the good guys?

We are, he told Gwen. They still protect the multiverse, saving people’s lives. He was keeping the universe together. And yet, he couldn’t get her words out of his head that echoed in the back of his mind. Miguel knows that the weight of his words and actions have divided the Society, but what was he supposed to do when he tried to explain the situation to Miles calmly and it didn’t work out? And the possibility of another multiverse wiping off its existence can happen again?

Miles Morales reminds him of himself, believing that Spider-Man can have everything in his life. The reality of it is that they can’t. No matter how hard he tried and the consequences led to severe destruction because of him—it was selfish of Miguel to think he could have it all.

Miguel sneers when a couple of the Spider-Heroes give their updates that they couldn’t find Miles Morales in the universe they’re assigned to. His fangs bare under his mask, the tone of his voice edge command and hint of desperation as he commands the heroes to continue their search on the young vigilante. The multiverse is large and he knew that Miles could be anywhere. But the boy wouldn’t be able to hide and escape away from him for too long. Miguel knows that—he’ll make sure to find Miles Morales and confinement will have to be done.

Setting up coordinates to a certain dimension, he strode into the wormhole and reappeared at the end of the time tunnel. The rain has stopped and he’s greeted to a new environment. It was pitch black, quiet and the full moon brightens up the dark canvas of the skies. Feeling the serenity in the air, calmness begins to settle in him, something that he hasn’t felt in a long time. He scouted the multiverse, taking notes of which universes he visited so that he could look for Miles. Earth-223 is no different; his mission is still to catch the young boy. But a thought crosses his mind when he comes to this universe, and his heart starts to race a little faster.

Miguel hasn’t visited Earth-223 in a while and his stomach curls as he overlooks a part of the city. He glances down at his gizmo and as he suspected, there are no energy levels of anomalies on Earth-223. He has a job to do—to protect the multiverse—but at that moment, his mind is drawn to one thing that he’s been hoping to do since his arrival.

He moves and swings swiftly from one place to another, going to a place that he had in mind. With one last jump, Miguel lands on top of a roof building perfectly, landing on his feet and rising up to stand. He overlooks a particular street apartment that he’s been looking for. His eyes look down at the street and observe the citizens that walk past by. Miguel knows that he shouldn’t be doing this but a part of him couldn’t help himself to go along with the plan. To find someone from this universe that he knows well.

And within his view, there you were. Walking down the streets of where your apartment complex is. Seeing how late it is at night, you must have just got off work, ready to return back to your home. He watches as you approach the apartment’s main entrance, taking out your keys and watching you enter the building.

Miguel lets out a breath that he didn’t realise that he was holding back. You live on the fifth floor of the building and he contemplates on if he should do what he’s been wanting to do with you. In the apartment, he has a hunch that you’re walking up the stairs to your flat. It should take less than five minutes at least and his mind races as he debates on whether he should take the leap or not.

“Lyla,” Miguel speaks up. “Call them.”

“A-are... are you sure you want to do that?” Lyla questions. You should be on the way up to your place, maybe walking down the corridor as you prepare to get your keys out to get inside. He knows your routine like the back of his hand.

“Just do it,” his voice firms. “Call them.”

Lyla doesn’t argue and she tells him that she’s connecting his earpiece to your phone number. Through the window of your apartment complex, he can see that the front door unlocks and opens. You step in, put down your bag and take off your coat to hang it up. Miguel sees that you stop midway and your hands pat down to your side pockets. He knows that his call is ringing on your phone because a smile appeared on your face despite how tired your day must have been. “Hey,”

“Hey,” Miguel responds back. He notices you move around in your apartment, going to the kitchen. Your voice speaks to him on your end of the line, asking about what he has been up to with that calm and cheerful tone of yours. He keeps it brief about his day because he would rather hear about yours, than to remember the crisis he is currently facing. The mask on him disappears away as Miguel listens to you. His free hand rubs against the pad of his fingers together, sometimes running through his dark brown hair. His eyes never leave your sight as he sees you walking around in your kitchen, listening to you talk his ear off that he welcomes deeply.

“When are you ever going to stop calling me that?” Miguel half jokes. The corner of his mouth curves up into a half smile. Though his words come across displeasure, his heart races at the nickname you made. Please never stop calling me that. “Miguelito? Really?”

“Well, you never complain.” You tease back. There’s a moment of pause before he hears you speak up again. “Hey, I can tell something is bothering you. You okay?”

Miguel realises that he can never escape from your skepticalism, no matter how hard he tries to hide it. You’re the only civilian who knows about his identity and what he does, even if he isn’t the Spider-Man from your Earth. He knows better than to let anyone in but when it comes to you, he couldn’t stay away. Drawn to you like a moth to flame. Maybe in truth, the reason he is on your Earth is not to find Miles Morales. But rather, to look for you.

“I don’t know if what I did was the right thing to do.” Miguel’s voice wavers.

Quietness settles between the two of you, and he allows himself to lower his guard down as his voice guides him. “I know that I have to be the one to do it. But I just… don’t know where I am going with this. I thought I knew what it takes to carry this burden.”

Miguel sighs, the weight of his thoughts and words prior tightens in his chest. He finds it a struggle to downright say that he wants to express at times. He stayed silent and exhaled out slowly, his chest deflated. Miguel’s eyes clock on your figure by the window and though he could only see a side profile of you, he catches a small glimpse of you quietly as well. Not long after, you speak up. “I’m really sorry that you’re having a rough time.”

“I feel that I did this to myself. Always so… rigid.” A solemn expression etched on his face.

“True but you have gone through a lot.”

“There’s this new kid who isn’t like the rest. Different. Which worries me.” Miguel begins. “I told him about the predicament of the future of all Spider-Man—that we will all lose someone close to us. And, Miles wouldn’t accept that.”

“I see.” You say. “Who is he predicted to lose?”

“His father, a Captain.” Miguel says. “Miles is trying to change the future and I can’t let that happen.” His voice sterns for a brief moment. “Or else he’s making the same mistake as I did. Have the same guilt that I carry.”

The invisible weight he feels in his mind and chest lightens somehow when he tells you what’s going on. You’re quiet when he’s done talking and there’s a moment of pause lingering between you two.

“I don’t really know much about the effects of messing up timelines,” you say. “But from an outsider’s perspective, it seems that Miles would go against the predicted fates because he would rather give all he’s got than do nothing. Even if he’d get hurt by messing up the timeline, I think Miles would be even more hurt and guilt-ridden if he didn’t give it a try for himself to save someone.”

Miguel stays quiet. There is something in your words that reaches him, anchoring him to see things differently. You’ve always been good at putting things into a different perspective.

“I know you care for the kid, Miggy.” You continue. “Even though you have an odd way of demonstrating that.”

He could imagine the corner of your mouth curving up into a smile as you chuckle softly at your end of the line. And he does the same; cracking a smile on his face for once since the mess of the Spider Society everything happened. Miguel allows himself to venture with the idea of a peaceful life with you; a life where he would return home to you on his good and bad days, and you would be the one he is excited to come home to. He wants to be comforted by you. To hold you in his arms, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

He wishes he could just be with you. To him, you are his world. But he knows that you’re only a tiny fraction of this multiverse he swore to protect, even if it means keeping his distance away from you.

“Miguel? Are you still there?” Your voice speaks through the earpiece.

He cleared his throat, breaking away his thoughts of a life he knew that he couldn’t really have. “Yeah, I’m here.”

“Thought I lost you for a moment, there,” you say. Miguel sees you moving around in your living room and settles to sit in the middle of your sofa. You cross your legs in a lotus position and he couldn’t help but watch you, feeling himself strained to stop the smile from forming. But he couldn’t help it, not when you look so carefree and safe.

“Anyways, are you free to swing by? I made an extra batch of food to share.” You said. “Feel like I cooked a bit too much this time.”

“Not this time I’m afraid.” Miguel says. “Work’s getting intense.”

“That’s a shame,” you tell him. “Well, I don’t know where you are but that doesn’t mean you can’t escape from me telling you off. And to remind you to look after yourself.” He sees you stuff a spoonful of food into your mouth. He gives you a moment to eat but still manages to talk to him. “Or else who am I going to ramble someone’s ear off but yours?”

You are what he is protecting, and he’ll do anything to make sure the world you’re in is safe.

TAGLIST gang: @99matterss @tojishugetiddies @miauamy @pigeonmama @oyayablog @itsmiguel2099

spiderverse taglist page

#miguel o'hara x reader #spiderman astv #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel atsv #miguel btsv #the miguel effect #fic: across for comfort #oharababe ; newest

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vxnuslogy · 1 month

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— lost to time ft. sae itoshi

— warnings: angst, character death, slight ooc?

— author's note: a reupload of my favorite work on sae while i finish editing the next 2 chapters of my hazbin series. enjoy!

— first recording

“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”

sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. it was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.

— second recording

“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport!

……

is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”

sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums.

everything passes.

— college; third recordings

“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”

sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt too foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself.

maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.

“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”

“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”

everything passes.

— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner

“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me.

……

you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”

……

“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”

sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently?

sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.

yet the silence was too loud, even for him.

everything passes.

— graduation recordings

“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”

sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible.

he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.

everything passes.

— recordings from 2 years ago

“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”

……

“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the gift. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”

……

“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”

……

“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”

everything passes.

— present

“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now!

……

sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends. thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”

“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”

“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”

“nii-chan..”

sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.

how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?

sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.

“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile.

“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”

sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own.

“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”

standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end.

sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.

sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go.

and just like your favorite author, when osamu dazai asked to die, he simplu agreed; but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.

everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.

#✒️ — works #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae x you #sae itoshi #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x you #sae itoshi x y/n #itoshi sae x y/n #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x reader #bllk x you #blue lock angst #bllk angst #sae itoshi angst

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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 month

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Why Millennials aren’t leaving Tiktok

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me TOMORROW NIGHT (Mar 22) in TORONTO, then SUNDAY (Mar 24) with LAURA POITRAS in NYC, then Anaheim, and more!

The news that Gen Z users have abandoned Tiktok in such numbers that the median Tiktoker is a Millennial (or someone even older) prompted commentators to dunk on Tiktok as uncool by dint of having lost its youthful sheen:

https://www.garbageday.email/p/tiktok-millennials-turns

But "why are Gen Z kids leaving Tiktok?" is the wrong question. The right question is, why aren't Millennials leaving Tiktok? After all, we are living through the enshittocene, the great enshittening, in which every platform gets monotonically, irreversibly worse over time, and Tiktok is no exception:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

To understand why older users are stuck to Tiktok, we need to start with why younger users relentlessly seek out new platforms. To some extent, it's just down to youth's appetite for novelty, but that's only part of the story. To really understand why people come to – and leave – platforms, you have to understand switching costs.

"Switching costs" is the economists' term for everything you have to give up when you change products or services. Switching from Ios to Android probably means giving up a bunch of your apps and purchased media. Switching from an airline where you're a high-status frequent flier to another carrier means giving up on free checked bags and early boarding.

In an open market, rivals have lots of ways to lower these switching costs (it's an open secret that you can call an airline and say, "Hi, I'm a 33rd Order Mason on American Airlines, will you make me a Triple Platinum Diamond Sky-Baron if I switch to Delta?"). Of course, big incumbents hate this, and do everything they can to increase their switching costs, finding ways to impose high switching costs that punish disloyal consumers who have the temerity to go elsewhere.

With social media, lock-in comes for free, thanks to the "collective action problem." Getting people to agree on a given course of action is hard, and as you add more people to the picture, the problem gets harder. It's hard enough to get half a dozen people in your group-chat to agree on where to go for dinner or what board-game to play. But once you're reliant on a social media service to stay in touch with friends, relatives around the world, customers, communities (say, rare disease support groups), and coordination (like organizing your kid's little league car-pool), the problem becomes nearly insoluble. Maybe you can convince your overseas relatives to switch to a Signal group, but can you do the same for your small business's customers, or your old high-school pals?

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/29/how-to-leave-dying-social-media-platforms/

Taken together, switching costs and collective action problems make platforms "sticky," and sticky platforms inevitably enshittify.

Platforms, after all, generate value. They connect end-users with each other (say, little league parents) and they connect end-users to business customers (you and your small business's customers). That value needs to be parceled out among end users, business customers, and the platform's shareholders. A platform can make life better for business customers at its end users' expense by increasing the number of ads (hello, Youtube!), and it can make life better for its shareholders at its business customers' expense by decreasing the share of ad revenue given to publishers or performers (oh, hello again, Youtube!).

From a platform's perspective, the ideal state is one in which end users and business customers get no value from the platform, because it's all being captured by the platform's shareholders. But if Youtube interrupted every 30 seconds of video for ten minutes of ads and paid the video creators nothing, both users and creators would ditch the platform – and advertisers would follow:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dab8sKg8Ko8

So platforms seek an equilibrium: "what is the least value we apportion to end-users and business customers without triggering their departure?" Maybe that means giving more value to end-users (for example, keeping Uber fares low by suppressing wages), or to business-customers (crowding more ads into your social media feed).

Every business – including brick-and-mortar, non-digitized ones – wants to find some kind of equilibrium between the value going to its suppliers, its customers and its owners, but digital businesses have an advantage here: digital systems are flexible in ways that analog, hard-goods businesses are not. Digital businesses can alter pricing, payouts and other dynamics from moment to moment – second to second – and make a different offer to every supplier and customer. They have a bunch of knobs, and they can twiddle them at will:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

Well, not quite at will. Businesses face constraints on their twiddling. If they get too greedy, users or business customers might weigh the cost of staying against the switching costs and decide it's not worth it. But the more expensive – the more painful – a platform can make leaving, the more pain they can inflict on the people who stay.

In other words, there's two ways to keep a customer or supplier's business: you can make a better service so they won't want to leave, or you can make leaving the service so painful that they stay even if you mistreat them.

There's three ways a digital company can make things worse for their customers and users without losing their business.

First, they can eliminate competition (think of Mark Zuckerberg buying Instagram to recapture the users who'd fled Facebook to escape his poor management):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/03/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself/

Second, they can capture their regulators and avoid punishment for trampling their suppliers' or users' legal rights (think of how Amazon has raised the price of everything we buy, both on- and off Amazon, through its "most favored nation" deals):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/25/greedflation/#commissar-bezos

Third, they can use IP law to prevent competitors from modifying their services to claw back some of that value (think of how Apple used legal threats to block an Android version of Imessage, blocking Apple customers from having private conversations that included non-Apple customers:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/12/youre-holding-it-wrong/#if-dishwashers-were-iphones

Companies can't just use this tricks at will, of course. Antitrust laws can block companies from making anticompetitve acquisitions or mergers. Regulators can punish companies for cheating their customers, workers and users. Technologists can come up with clever ways of modding or reconfiguring existing services with "interoperable" add-ons that let users bargain for better treatment by refusing to accept worse:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/07/adblocking-how-about-nah

Day in, day out, the decision-makers at tech companies test these constraints, twisting the knobs that shift value away from users to shareholders. Their bosses and boards motivate them with "KPIs" that dangle the promise of huge bonuses and promotions for any manager who successfully enshittifies part of the company's products:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

Decades of pro-corporate, pro-monopoly policy has loosened those knobs. 40 years of lax antitrust meant that companies had a lot of leeway to buy or merge with rivals – that's changing today, but it's tough sledding:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/14/making-good-trouble/#the-peoples-champion

As sectors grew more concentrated, they found it easier to capture their regulators, so that they no longer fear punishment for price-gouging, spying, or wage-theft, so applying the same amount of torque to the "break the law" knob cranks it a lot further:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/05/regulatory-capture/

Once you've captured your regulators, you can aim them at your competitors. A monopoly-friendly policy environment has transformed IP law into a bully's charter, allowing powerful companies to strangle would-be competitors who dare to offer their customers tools to shield themselves from enshittification, like scrapers, ad-blockers and alternative clients. Big companies can crank the enshittification knob all the way over and know that smaller rivals knobs won't turn at all:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/20/benevolent-dictators/#felony-contempt-of-business-model

At one point, bosses faced one more constraint on knob-twiddling: their workforce. Many tech workers genuinely cared about their users' welfare, something bosses encouraged as a sneaky trick to get techies to put in long hours without exercising their leverage by quitting rather than destroying their lives to meet arbitrary deadlines. These workers would fearlessly slap their bosses' hands when they reached for the enshittification knob, threatening to quit rather than allowing the products they'd given so much for to be enshittified. Today, after hundreds of thousands of tech layoffs, tech workers are far less like to challenge their bosses' right to twiddle, and far more likely to get fired if they try:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/10/the-proletarianization-of-tech-workers/

All this means that tech bosses don't have to change their approach at all, and yet, their services will grow steadily worse. The boss who twiddles the enshittification knob in exactly the same way as he did a year or a decade ago will find it turning much further, because his customers are locked into his platform, his regulators won't protect them, the same regulators will stop his competitors' attempts at countertwiddling, and his workers fear losing their jobs too much to speak up for their users.

That's the contagion that produced the enshittocene: the forces that constrained companies (competition, regulation, self-help and labor – all melted away, allowing every company's MBA-poisoned knob-twiddling leaders to shamelessly caress their knobs with every hour that God sends:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/30/go-nuts-meine-kerle/#ich-bin-ein-bratapfel

Which is why people want to leave platforms. When a platform loses its users, those users have weighed the switching costs against the pain of staying and decided that it's better to bear those costs than to stay.

So why have Tiktok's younger users found the costs too high to bear, and why have their elders remained stuck to the platform?

For that, we have to look at the unique characteristics of young people – characteristics that transcend the lazy cliche that kids are easily bored, fickle novelty-seekers who hop from one service to another with unquenchable restlessness.

Whether or not kids are novelty-seekers, they are, fundamentally, a disfavored minority. They want to do things that the platforms don't want them to do – like converse without being overheard by authority figures, including their parents and their schools (also: cops and future employers, though kids may not be thinking about them as much).

In other words, kids pay intrinsically lower switching costs than adults, because a platform will always do less for them than it will for grownups. This is a characteristic kids share with other supposedly technophilic, novelty-seeking "early adopters," from sex-workers to terrorists, from sexual minorities to trolls, from political dissidents to fascists. For those groups, the cost of mastering a new technology and assembling a community around it is always more likely to be worth bearing than it would be for people who are well-served by existing tools:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/21/early-adopters/#sex-tech

Pornographers didn't jump on home video because of its superiority as a medium for capturing flesh-tones. Home video was a good porn medium because it was easier to discreetly get into the hands of porn consumers, who could, in turn, discreetly view it. The audience for porn in the privacy of your living room is larger than the audience for porn that you can only watch if you're willing to be seen marching into a dirty movie theater.

Every new technology is popularized by a mix of disfavored groups and neophiles, who normalize and refine it – and yes, infuse it with their countercultural coolth – until it becomes easy enough to use to become mainstream. As more normies drift into the new system, the switching costs associated with leaving the old system declines. It gets easier and easier to find the people and services you want in the new realm, and harder and harder to find them in the old one.

This is why tech platforms have historically experienced sudden collapse: the platform that gets more valuable and harder to leave as it accumulates users gets less valuable and easier to leave as users depart:

https://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2022/12/05/what-if-failure-is-the-plan.html

If you're a Gen Z kid on Tiktok, you experience the same enshittification as your Millennial elders. But you also experience an additional cost to staying: as late-arriving adult authority figures become more fluent in the platform, they are more able to observe your use of it, and punish you for conduct that you used to get away with.

And if you're a Millennial who isn't leaving Tiktok, it's not just that you experience the same enshittification as those departing Gen Z kids – you also face higher switching costs if you go. The older you get, the more complex your social connections grow. A Gen Z kid in middle school doesn't have to worry about losing touch with their high-school buddies if they switch platforms (they haven't gone to high school yet – and they see their middle school friends in person all the time, giving them a side-channel to share information about who's leaving Tiktok and where they're headed to next). Middle-schoolers don't have to worry about coordinating little league car-pools or losing access to a rare disease support group.

In other words: younger people leave old platforms earlier because they have more to gain by leaving; and older people leave old platforms later because they have more to lose by leaving.

This is why Facebook is filled with Boomers. Yes, their kids bolted for the exits to avoid having their parents (or grandparents) wading into their sexual, social and professional lives. But the reason the Boomers were late joining younger users' Facebook exodus – or the reason they never joined it – is that they stand to lose more by going. Facebook deliberately cultivated this dynamic, for example, by creating a photo hosting service designed to entice users into uploading their family photos while disguising how hard it would be to take those photos with them if they left:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/facebooks-secret-war-switching-costs

The irony here is that tech has intrinsically low switching costs. All other things being equal, a new platform can always build a bridge to ease the passage of users from the old one. There's no (technical) reason that moving to Mastodon, or Bluesky, or any other platform should mean cutting ties with the people who stayed behind.

A combination of voluntary interoperability (where old platforms offer APIs to allow new services to connect with them), mandatory interop (where governments force tech companies to offer APIs) and adversarial interop (where new companies hack together their own API with reverse-engineering, scraping, bots, and other guerrilla tactics) would hypothetically allow users to hop between networks as easily as you change phone carriers:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/19/better-failure/#let-my-tweeters-go

Tech platforms tend to offer APIs when they're getting started (to ease the inward passage of new users) then shut them down after they attain dominance (locking the door behind those users). The EU is tinkering with mandatory APIs through the Digital Markets Act (though bafflingly, they're starting with encrypted messaging rather than social media). Restoring adversarial interoperability will require extensive legal reform, which is getting started through Right to Repair laws:

https://www.techdirt.com/2024/03/13/oregon-passes-right-to-repair-law-apple-lobbied-to-kill/

The people who are stranded on social media platforms shouldn't be mistaken for uncool, aging technophobes. They're not stubborn, they're stranded. Like the elders who can't afford to leave a dying town after the factory shuts down and the young people move away, these people are locked in. They need help evacuating – a place to go and a path to get there.

Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/21/involuntary-die-hards/#evacuate-the-platformsr

#pluralistic

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kelppsstuff · 2 months

Text

Time of year

Summary: Alastor trying to impress you with mating season just starting

ALASTOR X F!READER

Masterlist

Warnings: nswf, biting, wax play, tied up, begging

Taglist: @fandomsbookclub @leathesimp @michelleszn @sashaphantomhive @ladyninggs @sirenetheblogger @jawline-of-steel

Alastor is a gentleman. Always had been, always will be. His mother had raised him to be one.

Every year Alastor would feel a change in the air — mating season — and every year he never indulged himself. Alastor had no interest in being with someone, why would he give them false hope?

This year things were different. This year he was living in a hotel for sinners to be rehabilitated. This year he’s back in hell after seven years of being gone. This year he met you.

Despite these differences he expected one thing to stay the same, mating season. He expected everything to remain normal this time of year, and at first he didn’t notice the slight changes.

It first started when he’d grow annoyed at people getting way to close to you.

—

Alastor walked out into the main room of this hotel. A normal thing for him.

He looked over and saw you at the bar, laughing with Husk. Alastor’s ear twitched with annoyance along with his eye. This wasn’t Tom and Jerry, Husker was not that funny of a cat.

Husker looked over your shoulder and noticed his soul owner giving him a threatening glare. Odd.

Alastor made his way over to the bar and placed a hand on your shoulder — which startled you since he hated another persons touch — he spoke with a grin that husk knew was him being pissy.

“Pardon the intrusion however I was going to ask if you would care to join me on a stroll.”

A simple ask that you agreed too, and you had thought the walk went swimmingly. However Alastor’s mood had just worsened.

He spent the whole walk just fending off creepy looks others would give you. He even sent his shadow away go torture a few.

—

You were walking down the stairs to angel — who stood by the door — putting on the back of your right dangling earring when Alastor saw you.

He spat out his coffee and began to choke on his own spit, you were absolutely gorgeous. You wore a small dark Maroon dress, that made him feel feral. That was his color.

He hurried to you before you and the spider could leave. “Darling! Where are you off too looking so charming?”

His words drew heat to your cheeks and you blessed him with a smile that made him feel like he was going to die in the best way possible. “Angel and I are heading out to that new club called consent.” Alastor’s mind went through simple math.

A club, that had people. People liked good-looking people. You looked divine. People would try and get with you. When hell freezes over.

“Perhaps I should accompany the two of you.”

“No need, I know it’s not your scene.”

You waved him goodbye and walked out. Alastor silently returned to his room. Where he very reasonably smashed every piece of furniture. All reasonable of course.

Alastor had just told himself he couldn’t let his guests of the hotel go out and fuck up there hard work. Let’s be honest though, he didn’t give to shits what angel was up too. He was staring at you.

He noticed a guy, about to walk up to you so he was quick. Grabbed your arm and twirled you into his chest.

You looked up in confusion and when you saw Alastor you voice was mixed with concern. “What are you doing here?”

He leaned down and whispered, “isn’t it obvious? I’m here to dance. I will say we could use better music.” He nipped at your ear with his sharp teeth — drawing blood that would no doubt leave a scratch later — and jazzy music started to play.

You giggled as you twirled you again. Your feet started to move faster in pace with his own.

Alastor picked you up and twirled you in the air. You felt almost alive again at the feeling. Alastor caught you and when you looked at him like he was the only person in the world, Alastor knew this was right. You were right.

—

The two of you continued to dance all night, and surprisingly everyone had got down with the fast pace jazz playing, not an ounce of complaining.

Another thing that happened that night was people took photos of you and Alastor. Most had him glitched out but there was one, once that wasn’t.

It had been when he dipped you and you clanged to him in fear of falling. Alastor had a teasing grin and that photo had spread everywhere online.

Typically Alastor hated people being in his business, but he wouldn’t lie he loved the claim it gave you.

At first Alastor felt annoyed at the photo, but when he was walking around cannibal town he overheard two chaps talking about “the radios demon girl.”

He liked that name, he didn’t acknowledge the thought that popped in his mind after that.

‘I’d prefer Radio Demon wife.’

—

Nope this year mating season was normal. Right? Sure he felt a tad bit more possessive but it was normal. Wasn’t it?

—

When mating season came around Alastor never once indulged in the desire for a release. Hated the thought of even doing it.

Though when it became so unbearable that it caused him so much pain he decided once couldn’t be bad.

However it was the image of you in his mind that made him cum all over his hand.

That’s when he knew, this year was different.

—

He was scared at first but soon the need for you overcame that fear. He was the radio demon, he could do anything. So what if he experienced a little change? I mean have you seen you?

That’s when Alastor decided to pull the old charmer he once was when he was kicking in in the living world.

Alastor’s wouldn’t lie, he knew how to charm a lady, he’s had experience. Sure he hasn’t done any of that since he stepped into hell but he sure it couldn’t be that hard.

—

Alastor took a seat next to you at the vacant bar. He tapped his fingers as decided to open his mouth. And pure stupid slipped past it.

“So did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

Alastor swears he saw a legit loading screen over your head. For the first time since ever Alastor was nervous.

“I think you have me confused with Lucifer.”

Rage bubbled into his skin at the sound of you saying someone else’s name. But nervousness washed that down.

Alastor made a terrible excuse and teleported away. “There’s always next time!” Sureeee.

—

Alastor was looking for you — something he had been doing often — only to find you in the kitchen with Nifty.

You smiled down and here and took a sip of the soup she gave you. “Absolutely lovely. You should go and give a bowl to Husk.” Nifty nodded excitedly and hurried off past Alastor.

You laughed a little and spoke to Alastor when you were sure Nifty was gone. “That was so salty oh my gosh.”

Alastor spoke before he could register you words even. “You wanna see if I’m salty?”

“What?”

You two just stood there staring at one another for a good 10 seconds. Just processing. By the time your brain caught onto what he was saying he was already giving a stupid excuse to leave and rush to his room.

—

Now you had noticed Alastor trying to flirt. You noticed his little acts of service, and you noticed his jealous tendencies.

It was honestly funny on how Alastor would try to impress you. Alastor felt as if you weren’t interested in him. Let’s say that put quite the downer on his mood.

Alastor sat at the bar, drinking some whiskey when you walked past him. “Hey handsome.” He immediately perked up.

He became so needy for your attention and now that you were giving it to him? That made him want you more.

—

This was your first time in hell. Your first “mating season.” Most animalistic demons was around this time. So when you found Alastor knocking on your door in the middle of the night, good in hands, something in you went feral.

You invited him in to eat, he placed the food gently on your table. However Alastor felt like he needed to leave, or else he couldn’t control himself.

The smell of you all around? Not to mention he could practically taste your hormones on smell alone.

Alastor took a deep breath and started to excuse himself. “I should be off to bed now.”

He started to take steps to the door but you got in his way. Hand on his chest, eyes slightly begging yet demanding.

The two of you were quiet but the air was thick. It took you glancing one time at his lips for them to suddenly be on yours.

The kiss wasn’t soft, it was hard and rough. Like you was dehydrated and this was y’all’s first sip of water.

You pushed your hands into his hair while he tapped your legs. Understanding the silent command you jumped onto him, letting him pin you against the nearest wall.

You nipped his lower lip, drawing blood. The metallic taste mixed inside your mouth. It made Alastor even more painfully hard.

He let you stand and started to lead you two to the bed. Stripping you along the way as you did him.

By the time he pushed you into the mattress you only had your undergarments on while Alastor only had his pants.

The bed rocked slightly and hit the nightstand. “Careful Alastor the candle.”

Alastor’s gaze flickered over to the lit candle. He pushed you further up the bed and summoned some ropes. Effortlessly wrapping your hands to the headboard.

Alastor reached over to the candle and you whined out in anticipation. At first you were worried at the hot wax, but when Alastor tipped it slightly and the red mold dripped onto you skin you moan out in pleasure.

You hadn’t expected that to feel good but all you wanted was more. You had no doubt Alastor was a masochist but maybe you were one too.

“That’s a good girl.” His voice had a rasp that made you beg him for more.

“Please! Please Al.”

Alastor set aside the candle and started to kiss where the hot wax was starting to harden. He slightly snipped at your thighs causing you to beg him more.

“Please Alastor!”

“Please what?”

“Bite me.”

Bite you he did. Blood drew at the sharp bite he scattered across your thighs. Marking you his. He liked every drop of blood that would flow out the wound until it became to much. He couldn’t wait another second.

He discarded his pants and rubbed his top against your fold. Slightly grinding against your pussy.

“Please Alastor I need it.”

Fuck he needed it too but if he did this there would be no turning back. His afterlife would truly change forever.

But it already was changed, from the second he met you. So fuck it.

He thrusted up into you hard. While he would usually be a gentle dotting partner this time he just couldn’t wait.

He started the push himself all the way inside, not giving you a second to adjust. Blood dripped from your heat and Alastor grew to love the sight under him. You spread out blood, wax, his markings all over you.

He started to move quicker and quicker not giving you a second to adjust to his size. He fast a rough pulling sounds out of you that you didn’t even knew existed. Like you were some porn star.

Alastor sure as hell was fucking you like one.

You clanged to the radio demon, feeling your end about to wash through you.

“Alastor! Oh god I’m going to cum.” He gripped you chin and kissed you roughly. “You cum with only my name in your mouth.”

He pinch your clit and you came hard. Alastor’s name was the only thing you knew as you cried out to him in pleasure.

Alastor didn’t stop, he was selfishly chasing his own release, even if you were overstimulated.

You felt tears form in your eyes and you clenched around him, while he spilled himself inside of you.

When you both came down your high — panting — he slipped himself out and gave you a tender kiss.

He placed tender loving kisses on your thigh and face, slightly massaging your legs, while also making sure his cum stayed deep inside you.

—

The next morning was filled with the same Lust as the night before, however it was more gentle.

He explained he was like this because of mating season and why you were like this as well. The two of you came to an agreement that this sexual relationship would end when mating season did, even if both of you felt like dying while agreeing to it.

However when the air returned to normal you two relationship did not. You two continued your sinful acts. Like the two of you could never get enough of one another.

It wasn’t long till you confessed your feelings for Alastor, and him returning them.

Ahhhh! I’m trying new things out with my banner so if it’s a bit different in my upcoming post then that’s why.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #masterlist #x reader #alastor the radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #alastor

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sxcret-garden-archive · 2 years

Text

#sometimes it really does feel like nobody needs me here #i try to tell myself to just create whatever i like and i have fun with #but once i post it i can't help but agonize over notes and comments and feedback etc #i keep feeling this time and time again - that as a writer on this side you're taken for granted #site*#in general as a creator it feels like.... if i don't do it then somebody else will so what's the use?#what's the use in struggling every fucking day and in putting in the effort to make something despite that #when it sometimes feels like i could never get as much back as it costs me #i went on a hiatus and that was good because i couldn't have made anything proper anyway the past few months #but now it feels like everyone left and nobody checks this blog anymore and i'm not on ppl's dashes anymore and #i took too much time to return #it's so frustrating #and i'm thankful to every single person who takes a little bit of time out of their day to tell me they like what i write #but man it still feels like there's such a huge divide between the energy it takes me to make something and to make myself able to make smth #and between what writers get back on this site and it makes me very frustrated and sad #i will keep writing i know i will because its the one thing i love most in this stupid world #but everything's hard..... and i hate that we live in a world where it is like that for nd people....#salty's rambles

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evilminji · 9 months

Text

(O_O ) I sit here. With a Realization.

There.... There might be... ONE(1!) Danny.

Like... Multiverserally. Because otherwise? He WOULD have met himself. Would have had a big ol "Into The Spiderverse: This Time It's All Spooky Boys (Girl, and Other Assorted Genders)!" Lair and? QUICKLY started running into Portals that lead to Not-His-Parents Fenton Labs.

But he doesn't.

He might? Literally be IT. The ONE in countless of countless impossible numbers, monkey smashing on keyboards until you get a story, Impossible Combination. Maybe the Fenton Luck really DID take them out in every other universe. Maybe Maddies family had some near misses of their own. Maybe BOTH.

There is Only One Daniel Fenton.

He Dies At Fourteen.

He defeats Pariah Dark.

He Becomes King Eternal of The Infinite.

It Was, It Is, It Always Has Been.

Why would you need to create more then one? Clutter up creation with dead end roads and possible successors? Let the Zone be punched full of holes? No, no, if you NEED to replace the old king with a NEW one... you really only NEED One(1) soul... don't you?

I've heard it discussed the Clockwork might be Father Time, father of the Endless. Father too Death herself. If we allowed this to be true? Then the Zone is HER domain. Yet? She does not rule it. Why is he HERE? Time still lives. Still flows. He is not Dead.

Thus the Observants.

You may play here, papa. But not interfere. This place is MINE. She created something with the very literal job of watching her father. He's NOT in charge here. She is.

But! She also hates it. Forever chained to one place between places? Never to see her siblings again? Nah. She can delegate.

A Holy King, if you will. Sit on her throne, listen to their problems, nod and smile, then do her busy work! She'll check in. It should not be hard. Right? Just don't do anything crazy.

It Shouldn't Be That Hard.

But Nooooooo. King after Queen after Monarch after Boss! She comes back and they are either insane or NOT who she left in charge! Everything on fire! The newly dead terrorized and not where they should be! Pariah tried to INVADE THE LIVING WORLD!!!

Did he think she'd LET HIM?

Death is miffed. You could even say... annoyed! Possibly so far as even AGITATED.

It's unsustainable, Father. But, what to do? And, well, "Have You Considered Making A Person?" If organic royalty isn't working, store boughts fine. Check the timeliness, sweetie. Death IS your Domain. You can... delay some.

And he's right. She CAN. She shouldn't, there are consequences, but she can. Others may die sooner then they ought too, in place they should not. It MESSES with things. But... yes... yes she CAN.

She... LOOKS.

Finds herself JUST the right soul. She adores it. It's PERFECT.

AND she barely has to nudge things around! Hardly any messes! She's honestly.. kind of excited. It's been so long, since she and her Father worked on anything together. Bonded like this. Will he watch over him? Make sure he sticks to the right path?

Of course Clockwork would.

Anything for his Children.

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp prompt #danny and Death #she has decided she is Momther now #unless today she feels like being his sister #she is Endless and lables are for mortals #keep up Danny #king is haunted by a God #grandpa may have tricked his Death Mom into creating him #she may have known #what fifth dimensional chess bullshittery is this #asks local danny

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lovingmattysposts · 4 months

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My Best Friend's Brother FINAL

P1 P2 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11

pairing: y/n and chris sturniolo

summary: you just moved into the sturniolo’s home after some family issues and you’re starting to become attracted to your best friend’s brother and you hated yourself for it. But how could you resist?

warnings: sad, suggestive, making out, the ending (im sad), fluffffff

here it is, my heart and soul, the ending of My best friend's brother. Grab a snack, take a breath, I love you all

xoxo, autumn

I sat on the stairs biting my nails anxiously. They've been outside for 30 minutes now, without a sound. I can't hear what they are talking about. I don't even know what happened. I got Matt out of his room and Chris and him went outside with Nick and it went without saying that it was a brother moment.

So I stood here not moving, staring at door. My heart beating out of my chest. I've never seen Nick cry like that. I'd never seen him so heartbroken. That hurt me more than the words he screamed at me before he left.

I looked down at my feet.

I didn't know where to go from here. I couldn't leave Chris, not after everything we've been through it wasn't fair to me or him. I loved Nick and I missed him more than I missed anything in the world, but I loved Chris. I fell in love. Something I never thought I wasn't even capable of doing. I hadn't be taught what it felt like to fall in love, I never had a role model of it when I was growing up.

But I found it. I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life. I loved him.

It wasn't that we were just hooking up, it was never that for me and it is clear now that it wasn't that for him either.

I pressed my hands against my face. What were they doing? What were they saying? Was Nick okay? I couldn't breathe. I needed to know he was okay.

The door creaked open. My head snapped open. I stood up quickly as Matt and Chris walked back into the house. I looked at them, opening my mouth slightly. They looked up at me with a sad expression as they closed the door.

I walked down the steps.

"Is he okay?" My voice broke. Matt looked over at Chris who looked down at me. I swallowed as I stared up at him. He let out a breath. He stepped to the side motioning to the door. I glanced at the door to him.

I read the words all over his face. I nodded slightly before pressing my hand against the handle, pausing slightly. I looked back at Chris who's eyes were trained on me.

I turned back to the door, pushing it open.

The cold air hit me as I stepped outside. Nick was sitting on the steps up the house, his elbows pressed against his knees as he stared out onto the street not making a sound. I swallowed as I pushed the door closed. I walked next to him, before sitting next to him staring out onto the road as well.

I let out a breath.

Silence between us. Just the sound of passing cars.

"I'm sorry" He whispered not looking at me. I looked over at him, my face furrowing. "Nicolas do not apologize to me" I shook my head, tears already filling my eyes. He stared at the ground, biting his lip trying so hard not to cry.

"Do not do it" I shook my head. He closed his eyes letting out a breath. "There's nothing you could do or say to me that would make me go away" I whispered looking at him.

He glanced up at me, his eyes glossy. Breaking my heart. "You are the first person who made me feel like life was worth living. Your heart is so pure and you don't deserve what's happening to you" I whispered looking at him. He let out a breath, swallowing.

"He told me that he wasn't sure about his sexuality" He breathed. I just listened. "He said everything he said to me was real, but his dad got into his head." He furrowed his eyebrows shaking his head.

"He said he knew he liked me but--" He shook his head, his eyes filling with tears. I swallowed the lump in my throat before wrapping my arms around him, pulling him into me. He let out a breath, shaking in my arms. We sat there for a minute, just holding each other.

He pulled away looking at me.

"I know what it feels like to fall in love" He stated looking at me. I just watched him as he spoke to me. "You don't get to chose who it happens to" He shook his head as he looked at me.

"Y/n, I am so sorry for what I said to you" He whispered. I shook my head. "I was a shitty best friend" He breathed. I closed my eyes. "Not a shitter one that me" I swallowed. He sighed looking down.

"I should have never hid it from you" I stated in all honestly. He shook his head. "I understand why you did" He said back. I just looked at him as he wiped his eyes. "I've never been on the other side of this" He said looking up at me motioning between us.

"It's really awkward crying in front of you" He let out a small laugh, making me smile. I put my arm around him and leaned my head against him. "I'm really shit at being on the other side of this. I don't know how to take away your pain, you were always the one that was good at the part" I whispered as I looked out on the street.

"I think you're doing a pretty good job" He whispered making me smile. We sat there for a minute just letting the air ease from around us.

"Do you really love him?"

I turned to look at him, him looking up at me. I nodded biting my lip. "I do" I breathed honestly. He sighed looking down. I bit my lip as he looked back up at me.

"Should have known something was up" He breathed looking away. "He started wearing deortorant" He smiled up at me, making me shake my head. He smiled down at his feet.

"Can you do me favor?" He whispered. I nodded quickly looking at him. "Anything" He responded. "Tomorrow" He stated looking at me. "If my hair looks ratty, will you tell me?" He smiled. I closed my eyes hanging my head, nodding.

"Yes, I'll tell you look like shit" I smiled, tears coming to my eyes before wrapping my arms around, him hugging me back tightly. I squeezed him so tightly.

"I missed you so much" I cried. He sighed against me. "I'm never fighting with you ever again, it's been the worst week of my life" He chuckled pulling out of my grip.

I just smiled at him, my heart full. I had my best friend back.

"If you and Chris start kissing in front of me, I'll take it back" He smiled at me, making me smile. "I'll try to contain myself" I smiled. He nodded smiling.

"I've been thinking" He said. I glanced over at him. He looked up at me.

"I think we're gonna start a youtube channel"

2 years later

I rolled over groaning feeling the light come on over me. "Happy birthday my love" I heard my boyfriend's morning voice come over me. I hummed not opening my eyes as I felt his arms come over me, pulling me against him pressing his lips to mine.

I blinked my eyes open, seeing his tired eyes looking down at me. I smiled pushing his hair out of his eyes. "You're old" He smiled down at me, his hands moving over my body. I rolled my eyes.

"You're older than me" I stated. He hummed pressing his lips to mine again, attempting to push his tonuge into my mouth. I moved away. "Chris, I have morning breath" I stated shaking my head. "I don't care" He groaned pinning my arms down pressing his lips again mine again.

I smiled against his lips wrapping my arms around his neck as he climbed on top me, his hands against my waist. I couldn't picture a better birthday. Me and my boyfriend together in our bed, kissing. I loved my life.

The door burst open, making our lips come apart.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

Chris groaned leaning his head against my shoulder, before rolling off of me. The main light flipped on over us, making Chris shield his eyes. I chuckled as I sat up. "Ever heard of knocking?" Chris groaned looking up at his brothers. I smiled as Nick held up a plate of pancakes with candles in them in his hands and Matt blew a whistle wearing a party hat.

I smiled, my eyes wide as they walked over to us. "Wow, you guys went all out" I chuckled as Nick came over to me handling me the plate. "Make a wish" He clapped looking at me. I looked over at Chris, who looked up at Matt who was still blowing the whistle like he was insane. Chris reached up pulling the whistle out of his brother's mouth to stop the sound and threw it across the room.

"Hey" Matt glared at him. I shook my head smiling as I looked up at Nick who smiled brightly down at me waiting for me to blow out the candles. I breathed in.

I wish for this forever

I blew out the candles before Matt and Nick cheered around us. "Happy birthday" Nick smiled taking the hat off his head and placing it on my head. I smiled up at him. "Thank you" I smiled at him. "Oo pancakes" Chris mumbled leaning over to me and reaching for one. I slapped his hands away. He glared up at me.

"It's not your birthday" I shook my head at him. He frowned. I picked one off the plate before holding it over to him. He leaned up taking a bite out of it out of my hand.

"Okay, this got werid" Matt mumbled walking away. I laughed placing the pancake back onto the plate as Chris smiled leaning against me. I looked up at Nick who was looking at me with a disgusted look on his face.

"Are you gonna go see Jack today?" I asked looking up at him. He looked around sighing. "I don't know I haven't decided yet" He said looking down at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Nick, you can go see your boyfriend. It's his birthday too" I smiled at him. He smiled down at me softly. Jack, Nick's boyfriend. He seems to really like him and our birthday's happen to be on the same day.

"It's okay" I smiled shaking my head. He nodded. "I might go over there for a little bit" He said. I nodded. I felt Chris's arms come around me. "Don't worry I'll keep her busy" He smiled pushing his face into my neck.

"God, you guys are gross" Nick mumbled shaking his head as he walked towards the door. I laughed pushing Chris off of me. He fought my grip holding me tighter.

"Don't forget reservations at 8 okay? Madi's coming too" He said turning and looking at me. Chris pressed his lips against the side of my face. "I won't forget" I smiled. He shook his head before closing the door.

Chris kissed my face harder. I giggled, attempting to push him off. "Chris" I smiled. "What?" He smiled grabbing the plate out of my hands and placing it on the bedside table before coming back over to me and kissing me softly. I pulled back.

"What's gotten into you this morning?" I smiled up at his tired eyes. "i can't help myself. You just look so good in the mornings" He smiled pecking my lips and sighing. He looked down at me, pushing his hands up my shirt, moving his thumbs over the lining of my bra.

"What'd you wish for baby?" He asked looking up at me. I smiled shaking my head. "Can't tell you or else it won't come true" I smiled. He raised his eyebrows. "Oh yeah?" He smiled squeezing my side making me laugh beneath him, squirming from his touch.

He smiled down at me. "What do you wanna do today?" He asked looking down at me. I sighed looking at him. He pursed his lips. "We could just do this" He suggested, running his hands over my body.

"Lay in bed all day" He sighed kissing the side of my face. I smiled pushing his face up and kissing him softly. He pulled back looking at me. "You have anything in mind?" He asked looking at me. I bit my lip looking at him. His eyebrows furrowed.

"What is it?" He asked softly, running his hand on the side of my face.

"I actually do have something I wanna do"

"Are you okay?" He asked looking down at me. I let out a breath. I nodded slowly as I stared at the court house. He squeezed the hand he was holding, making me look up at him. He looked down at me.

"You don't have to do this today y/n." He said shaking his head. I shook my head. "No, I've been meaning to do this for a while. The papers are just sitting there I just have to sign them" I swallowed.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked softly. I looked down before shaking my head. "No I need to do this alone" I whispered. He nodded letting out a breath.

"I'll be waiting here." He stated. I nodded before releasing his hand and pausing. I looked up at him. I smiled slightly. "Thank you-" I shook my head. "For being here and everything" I breathed. He shook his head smiling wrapping his hands around me.

"I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else" He whispered before kissing the top of my head. I smiled letting go of the breath turning and looking at the building.

"I didn't expect it to be this hard" I whispered. He shook his head. "No one ever does" He said looking down at me. I nodded stepping back, he released his arms around me.

"I can do this" I nodded. He nodded smiling. "I know you can" He nodded. I nodded back before taking in a breath and walking into the building.

I walked out seeing Chris standing there. His eyes shot up as he saw me. He raised his eyebrows as I walked up to him. "How'd it go?" He asked looking down at me. I sighed nodding. "It was harder than I thought it was gonna be" I admitted. He nodded looking at me.

"I'm officially parentless" I nodded looking at him. He let out a breath before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around me. I got an emancipation, which basically means to disown your own parents.

They can't legally contact me and all family connections that tied them to me in legal documents were changed. I also changed my last name. My middle name becoming my last. The last thing tying me to that family was gone.

It was harder to sign the papers than I thought it was going to be. I've been putting it off for two years. I sent in the papers to the court right before we left Boston and moved to LA, they signed them and sent them back, i've just been avoiding finally closing the case. Until today, now it was done and off my chest.

I pulled back looking up at him. "I'm so so so proud of you" He breathed shaking his head. I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, i'm proud of me too" I nodded. He smiled kissing my forehead.

"How do you feel?" He asked looking at me. I let out a breath.

"Like y/n y/m/n" I smiled, he chuckled slightly. "Don't worry I plan on giving you a last name soon" He smiled pulling me into his chest. I smiled closing my eyes as he held me.

"I love you so much" He whispered against me, making me smile. "Where do you want to go?" He whispered. I hummed. "The only place I really wanna go right now is in Boston" I stated, making him pull back and furrow his eyebrows.

I smiled, as relization struck his face. "The roof?" He asked smiling.

"Somewhere only we know" I smiled.

It was weird. My life. It was never fair. I always pitied myself, whether I wanted to admit it or not. I thought that I was in so deep in my own shit that I could never get out, but I could and I did. I had the life I always dreamed of. My best friend and my boyfriend simply saved my life. I guess what i'm trying to say is no matter how bad it gets, even though I couldn't see it there was always something better for me out there.

Because even I got my happy ending.

THE END!

Wow guys, this was my very first story that i posted when I started this blog. I had no intention to post it anywhere and now look how far we have come. I am so so grateful for the love you've poured on this story and on everything i've made since. I hope you loved this story as much as I've loved writing it.

heres to My Brother's Best Friend🍾

tag list❤️: @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld @flowerxbunnie @ilytrinsworld @lustfulslxt @kiarastromboli @gemofthenight @blahbel668 @haunted-headset @sturnybabes @bethsturn @d3adlyclassrat @sturnybabes @mattsbitch @chrisluvbot @nickenthusiast @sturniolossmut @biimpanicking @iloveneilperry @chalametbich @dsmja @bernardsleftbootycheek @lovingsturniolo @aoxash @idrkk-123 @gingerbreadgodofhyperdeath @babagurlrichey

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #Spotify

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ohisms · 3 months

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↪ 𝐹𝐼𝐿𝐿𝑂𝑅𝑌 ⅋ 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 . ( a collection of sentence starters from season one of syfy's the magicians . adjust phrasing as necessary . this prompt will be updated as time goes on . )

it's always something with you , isn't it ? it's always an emergency .

look , this is your responsibility .

wow , nice trick . i'm sure you're a hit at parties .

so ... you think you're ready .

i called you . all weekend . where were you ?

okay , we have got to pull you together .

you can't run away hard enough , can you ?

i know where you were all weekend .

life is raw , everybody medicates .

i love you . call me , okay ?

am i hallucinating ?

come on , or you'll miss it .

can i start over ? please .

i'm going to make sure you don't remember a thing .

playing with time is such difficult magic .

don't bother trying to compare yourself .

it's good to be aware the world is blatantly unfair .

it's my fault that they said that .

if you think my family is some sort of advantage , you've been misinformed .

maybe i wouldn't let myself forget .

that was before i knew there was something else .

it's really okay if this is not your thing .

you're hurting yourself , & you're not okay .

i just needed to see if i was right .

we've been watching you for quite a while now .

hello ? do you need help ?

you feel right because you're starting towards your destiny .

for some reason , you're involved . so be involved .

look , hold that thought , okay ?

i'm obviously coming with you .

there's no such thing as safe magic .

what is this place exactly , besides a health hazard ?

you ask a lot of questions .

jesus , you didn't tell me you were dangerous .

it's a little bit bigger than messing up .

there's a bad story every few years around here .

can you just help me live with myself ?

i'm gonna tell you something deep & dark & personal now .

i'm trying to tell you , you are not alone here .

i don't know . i wanna be your friend , i guess .

you should hate me right now .

the last thing i wanted to do growing up was read fantasy .

let's just say life wasn't exactly non-stop fun growing up .

if you're guilty , i'm guilty .

come do something stupid with me before you go .

okay , you know what ? i'm not interested in your personal issues .

this isn't just some lark to me , just so you know .

i mean seriously , what do they expect , you know ?

look , you can't run away from you .

there's nothing i can do in this moment to stop the comet from crashing into the earth , is there ?

i keep trying to tell myself that this is somehow better .

you don't see color & want to go back to black & white .

you can't help , & i can't help you .

what the hell was that , you maniac ?

why would you ever trust anyone ?

i'm willing to teach the right people what i know . & i know a lot .

you're lucky i can fix this .

hey , have you heard of karma ? sometimes it's instant .

i'm generous with you , considering .

get me everything on this list . this week .

why even ask , if you'll just forget it again ?

that's not a real answer .

you're a much better liar than i expected you to be .

do you think you have a destiny ?

there is no destiny . no born heroes .

you can either step up to it or not , that's up to you .

this is your problem , that you should solve !

#rp meme #inbox prompt #rp inbox prompt

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chastiefoul · 1 year

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heya! Are you writing for star rail as well?

If so, what a some of your sampo relationship headcanons?

I love your writing!

♪ sampo koski’s relationship hcs!

a/n: i just know he'd be a total sweet heart. because imagine the guy who always live like he had nothing to lose quickly changes his whole demeanor cause now he has you wc : 0.7k

sampo would totally fuss over you so much!!! if you went out for dates or go anywhere at all really, he would make sure you’re content with everything. too cold? sampo will give you his coat, hungry? thirsty? Say no more he would already on his way getting everything you need, most times you don’t even need to ask.

for a man who seemed to always on his feet attracting and ‘accidentally’ getting into troubles, sampo has his quiet moments. when he is not on the streets up and about, there is a high chance that he’s currently in your arms, clinging into you like a koala bear. trailing behind you around the house; when you’re reading he’d be there lying on your stomach as he hugged you, or when you’re working on your own thing he’d be near you with eyes begging for the attention he’s craving for—and of course, you always caved in.

white lies. sampo would lie to you about what he’s been up to, but not because he is unwilling to tell you, it’s just because he hates making you worry. but you found out all about what he did anyway, well because all you have to do is ask around and let’s be real here, who’d take his side over yours??? All you had to do was ask natasha and she’d tell you all she knew, not only that seele would come up to you first and report sampo’s doings that day, and even hook would tell you all about it so easily after you play with her. though you knew his intentions are well you just couldn’t help but still worry and prefers if he tells you the truth instead. this evasiveness would sometimes turn into argument however it’s not anything you can’t solve with communication and words.

sampo is very easy-going, we know that. he knows how to take it easy. that’s why it’s very important to him to help make you feel better if you are ever stressed by anything at all. he’d know all the good places and he’d bring you to where he knows you will definitely like, and you always did. he never fails to make you laugh and feel better, letting go of your worries and stress as you indulge yourself for a little.

ok we know by now that sampo doesn’t shut up. ever. like the man loves small talk for heaven’s sake. there’d be no silence to fill when you’re with him because he would talk about the most random things. though most part of why he liked rambling to you was because you looked so adorable listening to him intently that his chest swelled up with the most coziest feeling.

imagine dating him AND being friends with gepard. gepard would complain to you about the cunning man and later you scold sampo to give gepard a break and he pouts. how dare you take his side instead of your own lover?? however when it comes to you he's so easy to be coaxed. with a kiss, he turns so obedient and nodding along to whatever you had to say though you weren't sure if he's listening to you at all.

for a guy with a silver-tongue, knowing all the right words to say to people about his business and all that, he’s having a hard time telling you just how much you mean to him. for a harsh world such as this one where he had to do everything in his power to live well, you came to him so effortlessly. so easily like that you made his world all better. made him look forward to each day so much more; seeing you smile and laughing just bring so much joy to this man. he tried his hardest to tell you all of this though sometimes it came across a little clumsy, it’s still the most sincere he’s ever been with someone.

#SAMPO KOSKI HAS MY WHOLE HEART #hsr x you #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x reader #star rail x reader #sampo koski #sampo x reader #sampo x you #sampo koski x you #hsr sampo #hsr headcanons #sampo headcanons #hsr hcs #sampo koski x reader

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natigail · 2 months

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"I figured hey, if I'm here, I might as well be honest with myself. So I dug into the archives. And I found teenage Dan. Do you remember HELLO INTERNET? There I was, eighteen years old, your average caucasian British boy with your problematic vocabulary, just wanting so desperately to be liked. I then saw myself age twenty, as a student. Not that I was actually studying anything other than the male anatomy. I had no plan. No prospects. I was in desperate need of a haircut. Jesus Christ. No, look, that was not a hairstyle. It was geometry. My hair was a square. I then saw myself age twenty-two as an adult, just trying to make my way in the world, taking any job that I could, no matter how inauthentic or degrading. And look. I don't hate these past versions of myself, alright? Apart from the square one, it can get in the fucking bin. Mainly, I just feel sorry that it took them so long to work out who they are. I then stumbled across the video titled Existential Crisis. In which I utter the optimistic nihilistic epithet: 'embrace the void and have the courage to exist'. Embrace the void and have the courage to exist. It sounded nice when I said it but for some reason it just didn't hit. I had accepted the absurdity of the world but at that time, I hadn't accepted myself. Looking back at it, it finally clicked. Anyone who has suffered with depression or any kind of trauma that seriously affects your self-worth hopes that one day you're going to have this sudden revelation and then everything is fine. I had my revelation alright. I am unapologetically gay! Don't know if you hadn't picked up on that, so far in the show. But just having this revelation did not immediately fix all of my problems, because I still feel that inherent burnt-on brand that I am wrong. And that doesn't just go away. No, I know what my problem is, alright. My problem I am always living for the future. Every day I am thinking about this dream future where all of my dreams have come true and all of my problem have gone and everything's fine. And so, every day in the present of my life can be this joyless unrelenting grind towards that future. But it's okay. It's going to come any day now, right? Learning to look yourself in the mirror and being honest about what you've been through and keep living in spite of that can be hard. It takes a long time and a relentless persistent resistance against the way that you've been trained to feel by the world. But that doesn't just mean you should give up. Because, sure, sometimes in life, you may feel trapped. I felt trapped by my sexuality. You could feel trapped by your culture or your community. Hell, you could be literally trapped in an elevator but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to get out. 'cause, sure, when I look at the state of the world, I am very tempted to just go: You know what - we're all doomed. But that isn't courageous. That is cowardly. It's the easy way out. Even if it is, as I hope you'd all agree, a really fucking cool name for a show. So that's the thing. You can either say to yourself, every day is just a discontent emoji or you can find the courage to force your inner smiling cowboy hat, ye-motherfucking-haw! And just try to find in everyday life. Which is why I made this show. So I'm not living in the future but I'm just right here, right now, with you, just trying to have one good night. And look. Hey. Who knows, huh? We may all be doomed. Death may be inevitable. But first, we get to live. Life might at times be a struggle but just being here, to put one foot in front of the other every day is living. So please, do not let the doom drag you down. You are important. You matter. Please, stay hopeful for the future. Appreciate life. Embrace the void and have the courage to exist." - Dan Howell, closing monologue of his show "we're all doomed" (2022-2024)

#wad spoilers #dan howell #we're all doomed #talking in tags #i wasn't going to do any more but why not immortalise this #mostly just saving this for myself because it always got me #dan quotes

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