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vxnuslogy · 28 days

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— a reason. ft aventurine

— warnings: slight cursing and violence and spoilers for the new hsr quest

— author's note: this is very long and very much a giant word vomit. first work in hsr is aventurine, i fear favoritism is real.

‘everything happens for a reason.’

aventurine has never felt so sick and tired of that phrase. something about it makes his fists clench from beneath the table and stomach flip and twist uncomfortably from within.

if everything happens for a reason, then what was the reason behind his clan’s massacre? what was the reason for the stirring in his guts whenever he looked in the mirror? what was the reason behind all of his fortune now turned to misfortune?

aventurine hated not knowing the reason.

“and this pretty thing,” jade motioned towards you by her side. standing motionless, back straight and all. “is [name]. be sure to play nice, aventurine.”

what was the reason behind your new recruitment? better yet, why were you placed as his new assistant? the last time aventurine checked, he was doing perfectly fine. steadily climbing up his rank with his risky gambles and bargaining skills. he couldn't wrap his head around it so he just sighed and accepted it.

“thank you for always looking after me, jade.” his voice carried evident sarcasm but the woman only smiled and pushed you towards his direction. he had to physically stop himself from recoiling from the action and gave you a smile.

“it's a pleasure to meet you, [name].” he held his hand out for you to take. you were hesitating, aventurine noticed. but after a few seconds you slowly slid your hand into his and gave it a firm shake. “the pleasure is all mine, mr. aventurine.”

the blonde man held onto your hand for a moment longer before slipping it away and tucking it behind his back. he surveyed your form making you want to squirm under such a gaze, and he noticed.

“let's be good friends.”

—

working with aventurine was strange, not that you didn't expect it. you spent the past six months running around the IPC from one office to another carrying mountains of papers and constantly picking up calls from the communication device in your ear. other times, you'll be out and about trailing aventurine like a lost duckling when you need to accompany him to missions that require him to be physically present.

honestly, working for the stoneheart will eventually give you an early death from a heart attack. not only is his risky gambling habits very concerning, his way of speaking wasn't exactly everyone's cup of tea. more often than not you’re needed to play as a peacemaker, the middle ground of negotiations to prevent any physical fights from starting.

but it wasn't as bad as you'd assume. you clock in around 9 in the morning and clock out at 5 in the afternoon. sometimes if certain tasks require you for overtime, you'll clock out at around 8 or 9 at night max. all the work aventurine assigns to you aren't all that difficult to handle as well. just simple reports that need to be proofread so he won't have to read over them multiple times, scheduling interviews, picking up calls and informing him of his new missions, and if the situation calls for it, you play as a spy to gather information.

overall aventurine was a good boss.

today was like any other tuesday morning. you clock in just before 9, get your coffee and another cup for your boss, pick up the last reports from the strategic investment department, and then make your way into aventurine’s office to brief him on his schedule.

his office was on the fancier ends, no surprise there as he was one of the ten stonehearts. your shoes clicking when they met the marbled floors, your eyes skimmed through the reports, trying to guess which proposal will be approved or disapproved. when you reached a familiar door, you fixed your hair and readjusted the insignia pinned to your vest. an aventurine stone, just like your boss.

you knock thrice -short, short and long- before you hear a muffled voice tell you to come in.

“good morning, mr. aventurine.” you greet with a slight bow as normal. “as punctual as ever, [name].” raising your head you nod towards topaz’s direction in acknowledgment before making your way to his desk. “here are all the reports from the last mission. i’ve read through all of them and made sure everything is in order.” placing the papers on the table, he dropped the ones in his current hand before taking the new ones, all the while, you place down his coffee which he gladly took.

“you aren't overworking them, have you, aventurine?” topaz inquired, crossing both her arms over her chest. “what kind of boss do you take me for friend? a bad one? i can assure you my assistant is in good hands.” the blonde man chipped in, his fingers flipping from one page to another as you busied yourself trying to organize the scattered reports on his table. feeling topaz's gaze, you give her a slight smile and nod, confirming that aventurine is in fact, was a good boss.

she just sighed and shook her head. motioning for you to come over, you look to aventurine who gave you a nod in turn. you walked towards topaz -feeling the searing stare of aventurine burn through the back of your head- as she took out a flash drive and handed it to you.

“this is the recording of the last meeting in regards to the mission you're tasked with. since you were still in pier port, we started without you.”

“how cruel of you, to start such an important meeting without even waiting for me.”

ah yes, the pier port incident. you smiled wearily as your shoulder slumped when you remembered what happened. you shake your head in amusement of the memory.

“thank you topaz,” you break the silence, like you always do. “i’ll be sure to look over it today.” she smiled at you in appreciation before turning her back on you and waving goodbye.

“well, that was all i came for. catch you two later.”

once the door clicked shut and the sounds of footsteps getting fainter and fainter, you took it as a sign to turn back to your boss who was already looking at you.

“is something the matter, sir?” you ask. he took off his glasses with a hum and turned his attention back to the papers he was reading. “be sure to give me a summarized report of the meeting before you go home.” you nod and take a seat on the couch in his office and boot up the laptop on the coffee table. you've always wondered when it suddenly appeared in his office, you were 98% sure it wasn't there when you first started working but aventurine always said that's it been there the entire time.

you shake the thought out of your mind and shift into work mode. hours seem to pass by in the blink of an eye before you heard aventurine call out to you. “i’m sorry mr. aventurine, i'm afraid i didn't hear you.” you heard him sigh and repeat his question. “i said, why did you join the IPC? actually, no, that's not what i want to know.”

when you looked up from the laptop in front of you, your boss had taken a seat across from you. you felt your heart thumping in nervousness.

“what exactly did you do to pique jade’s interest?”

frozen. you felt frozen on your spot. fingers stopping midway from pressing onto the keys. those beautiful eyes you've slowly grown accustomed to seeing unfiltered from his glasses, they make your heart and pulse beat in an unfamiliar rhythm.

“i come from a well-off family.” you start, suddenly feeling conscious of your background. “my parents have worked closely with the stonehearts, i suppose miss jade wanted to continue the diplomatic relationship between my family and the IPC.”

“is that the reason why you're here now?”

you simply nod even though you weren't so sure if that really was the reason.

“let me ask you another question.”

letting out a startled noise when the laptop in your lap suddenly close with a gloved hand sitting on top of it, you stare at aventurine's purple eyes that had rings of teal, something so uniquely him that you couldn't help but get lost in them. he took the laptop from your grasp and set it on the coffee table as he leaned both his arms on his legs.

“do you like working under me?”

the question caught you off guard and it showed with how the corner of aventurine’s mouth twitched up into a smirk. hiding behind a closed fist and clearing your throat, you pray that your voice wouldn't waver as you answer.

“i do.” you peaked towards his directions and he didn't seem satisfied with your answer so you list out all the reasons why you like working with him. “despite your… questionable habits, i’ve come to grow used to them as time goes on.” a fond smile made its way to your lips when you dug around your mind trying to find your memories that had aventurine in them, only to realize that he was in all of them.

“i’ve come to enjoy all your little shenanigans in missions.”

“i'll have you know, calling your boss’ plans “shenanigans” could lead to your bonus being cut by a few percent.” he huffed like a child as he decided to just sit back and cross his arms over his chest and raise his chin at you. you chuckle at the action and continue.

“ever since i was a child, i have always wanted to travel the cosmos. but since i’m the only child to my mother and father, my childhood, teenage years, and now adulthood is centered around business and trade. going out on missions with you to different planets, they heal that little part of me that wished to travel.”

“but sometimes, i truly believe that you want me to die from a heart attack.” you hear him snicker from under his breath as he fixes the watch on his wrist. “i know that as a gambler taking risks is just a part of it but aeons, do they scare me to death sometimes.”

“if i knew you cared about me so much, maybe i would tone it down a bit!” there was a playful undertone to his voice as he talked to you. you let out a laugh and shake your head. “no offense sir, but i sincerely doubt that.”

“you wouldn't be the boss i've grown accustomed to if you didn't do your risky gambles.”

something flickered in aventurine's eyes, you were sure of it. but before you could find out what it was he suddenly stood up, putting on his usual glasses and giving you a closed eyed smile.

“well, that was all what i wanted to ask you.” you wanted to ask something in return, but you never had the chance to even get a word out when he was already halfway out the door. “be sure to finish that summary before the day ends. leave it at my desk as usual.”

and just like that, the office door clicked shut.

—

“if i told you the reason, that'd be the same as revealing a trade secret.”

aventurine remembered jade's word. how could he not when they repeated in his mind like a broken record.

after he left his office, it felt like he suddenly went back in time. it just had been roughly a month after you were given the position as his assistant and aventurine wasted no moment at the end of that friday afternoon to dash in jade's office and ask her the question: why were you his assistant.

aventurine scoffed at jade's response while she only smiled. clicking his tongue in annoyance as the woman led him in circles when he kept asking. what was the reason? was it that hard to answer?

the next few days weren't necessarily the best. he was like a walking ticking time bomb, ready to blow up at any second. everyone in the IPC kept their distance from him -not like they didn't keep their distance to begin with, some started whispering among the hallways about his potential termination after a very big gamble he almost, almost, lost. what ticked him off the most, was you.

he felt so frustrated at you because why were you so damn perceptive. those past few days, the papers that were messily and hastily thrown on the giant table in his office were suddenly organized into neat piles, all held together with different colored paperclips and a sticky note of when each pile was due to be submitted. how every morning you wouldn't fail to knock thrice at his door -short, short and long- at exactly 3 minutes before 9 in the morning with two cups of coffee in your hands. or the times where you would take one good look at him and start lighting up the candles in his office that you started buying for him because you noticed he'd be slightly less stressed when the room didn't smell like fear and insecurity.

what he hated the most was even after his little temper tantrum the past few days began to subdue, you still continued your almost doting actions towards him.

when did he start anticipating your methodical knocks 3 minutes before 9? when did he suddenly grow disappointed whenever someone knocked on his door and it wasn't you? topaz had suddenly grown confused when he suddenly came into the meeting room with a cup of coffee in his hand and when she asked about it he would simply say, “well, my darling assistant bought it for me!”. the multiple scented candles in his office that burned too quickly so at the end of every month he'd have you go out and buy some more.

when did he start using his left hand -the hand he left bare from rings, the same hand that shook in fear of losing- to guide the small of your back away from the crowd whenever you would accompany him to missions?

when did he start taking off the glasses that hid the eyes he wanted to sell to someone else?

it was so confusing yet so simple at the same time. aventurine had grown fond of his little assistant. he has grown fond of you. and that was all there is to it. after all, why would he go out of his way to get that customized brooch that you wear every single day when you come to work if he hadn't. how his chest would swell with pride whenever you spoke with higher positioned officers in the IPC and how they would avert their gaze because of the pin on your vest.

and he knows that you know of his sudden change in demeanor. you just never say a word for his sake. how he went from being a distant and acquainted boss to a friend. an actual friend. and that was supposed to be it. he did say in your first meeting that you should be good friends, but how was he supposed to keep his words after the little stunt you pulled at pier port?

it was a simple mission, negotiate and get the upper hand, nothing more and certainly nothing less. like any other mission, he was accompanied by you and some other people under the IPC. everything was going smoothly until one of them just had to open their mouth and talk shit about his already dreadful past just because he had forgotten to put on his glasses. he truly has grown a bit too comfortable with you around, and he didn't like it.

“what's a sigonian scum like you doing in the IPC? why don't you crawl back into the hole you came from?”

he just sighed. shaking his head, hiding his left hand behind his back, shielding it away from everyone's gaze as it shook with anger, disgust, and the tantalizing question of why.

why did he have to go through this?

and then you did something out of the ordinary.

the sweet assistant of aventurine suddenly pulled out the gun situated on your hip and pointed it directly to the man’s forehead, a deathly glimmer shining in your eyes as your index threateningly ghosted over the trigger.

“if you do not take back what you said just now, i won't hesitate to put a bullet or two in that empty skull of yours.”

then you started walking, and he started backing up. you didn't stop until the man was standing on the edge of the port, one simple push and he'd be drowned in the vast icy oceans. that is, if he wasn't already drowning in the fury of your eyes.

aventurine felt his body move in instinct. his left hand holding your wrist and slowly putting it down at your side. he gave a half assed apology about your behavior and ushered you to your original destination. this time, he kept his hand on your back, specifically near the gun on your hips to make sure you didn't point it at someone else.

“do they always speak to you that way?” you ask barely above whisper. eyes strained one the road you were walking one while his bore into your very being. “i’ve grown used to it. be sure to not point that gun of yours to any potential partners, m’kay?” to prove his point, he tapped the gun on your hips with his finger and you just sighed. a simple yes stumbling past your lips before being enveloped by silence.

aventurine was sure. he was very, very, sure that was the last nail in the coffin, and the answer to the question he's been asking.

the entire day, you stuck by his side. glued to the fucking hip and no one dared to utter a single word about him. the meeting went smoothly and when everyone was preparing to go home, he called you over and said:

“that stunt you pulled earlier, stays between us, alright, friend?”

and you simply nod in understanding.

you carry your bags onto the ship to take you back home only to be taken aback when aventurine comes to steal it away from your hands. “take it as thanks for earlier.” he remembered that look of shock before it turned into something else -what it was he didn't know because you turned away before he could even fathom what of it made his stomach do flips.

even when he came to drop off your things at your personal room, he found himself lingering by the door. watching you unpack your things as he stood idly. you would eventually turn to him and ask if he needed anything more, and out of curiosity he asked: “why did you point your gun at that man?” he will never forget the look of puzzlement on your face when he asked.

“because he said something unpleasant to you. as your assistant, i can't allow others to simply trample on your name.”

he spent the night staring up at the ceiling while laying on his bed. your words mingling in with jade's in his mind, trying to fit the two like puzzle pieces to ease the racing of his heart and uneasiness of his mind. he didn't like assuming things. a conjecture such as this would cost him too much, but tonight he indulged himself in the thought.

picking up his phone and messaging jade, he laid his forearm over his eyes and sighed.

“this room smells horrible…” he muttered. the strong scent of chlorine made his mind spin. making him miss the scented candles you had slowly but surely placed inside his office. he'd grown so fond of them that he'd bought some of his own to place around his home. “ah… i think i'm screwed.”

—

it has been approximately 3 system hours since you arrived in penacony, and roughly a few system hours before aventurine's eventual demise.

topaz had just finished speaking with the trailblazer and their companions. when they had left you stood next to her and stared at the giant prison turned hotel.

“you… don't seem too worried.” topaz said, you felt her gaze but you didn't turn to look at her, instead you just gazed into nothing. “it would be a lie if i said i wasn't worried.” you were most definitely worried, terrified even. no matter how many times aventurine does his high risk gambles, you will never get used to it, not when it causes ghostly hands to squeeze at your heart at the sheer thought of him losing. the thought of losing him.

“but i trust miss jade's judgment. i trust aventurine.”

roughly a day before his departure to penacony, curiosity got the best of you and you stuck around the meeting room in secret when aventurine stayed behind.

“what can i do for you, aventurine?” jade's voice slightly echoed in the empty room. your hands slightly shook in fear of being caught, but you were just so curious about what has been going on with your boss that you couldn't fight the urge to eavesdrop a bit. “oh nothing much. i take it you received my message?” you assumed the woman nodded because aventurine continued. “i must admit, your little plan worked. but is it really necessary?”

jade stood up from her seat, her heels clicked on the marble floor and aventurine followed her until they were by the door.

“well, it's better to stay safe than sorry. and besides, this doesn't count as a complaint, right?”

you heard him chuckle. somehow, even though you hid behind a pillar you felt his stare bore into your being. you could almost imagine those purple eyes that had rings of teal in them that made you weak in the knees.

“no, not necessarily. i could never consider it as a complaint.” he took a moment before asking another question. “but i want to hear it from you, friend. why did you assign [name] as my assistant?”

“it's rather simple really,” jade replied. “you need a reason to leave penacony alive, no? i simply made it easier for you.”

you? the reason for aventurine's will to live? it seemed rather silly. how you, a simple assistant, be so much of importance to someone like aventurine, but with how topaz came to hold the hand that gripped the brooch he had given you, you thought otherwise.

this half a year you've been working with him, you like to think that you've gotten to know him very well.

how when you stood beside him as he sat himself in another gamble, he would always lay his left hand on his lap, fingers curled into fists so tight you were afraid his palms were bleeding.

how he always hid his “weaker” hand behind his back in dire situations to hide his fear.

or when he would always take off his glasses in his office whenever you were there. and that laptop you were 98% sure wasn't there when you started working? aventurine apparently got it specifically for you so you could work in his office.

but what you were most sure of was:

“aventurine doesn't make deals he knows he won't benefit from. he'll win, he always does. he'll come back, i know it.”

#✒️ — works #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x reader #hsr aventurine #aventurine x reader #aventurine honkai star rail

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k0dzukeiji · 5 months

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𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 - 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨

read pt 2 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

synopsis: you tried to warn him and he didn’t listen. that not only costed him a healthy relationship, but your friendship as well.

genre: angst, friends>nobodies

warnings: cursing, toxic relationship, friend breakups, fighting, suna is an asshole, reader has a crush on suna, regret, made up character is also a bitch, mentions of hell, NOT PROOF READ, PLEASE EXCUSD ANY MISTAKES OR TYPOS (i never proof read), mentions of vomit, probably ooc

wc: 3,220 (sleep deprived me really said 1k+ 💀)

taglist: @hissy-fit18 @ilovejujitsukaisen @misasdeathwish

a/n: I don’t know how I feel about this, kinda sucky but its not horrible considering i wrote it in 2 days without any prep

also imma just complain cause i kept switching to another keyboard while writing this and it was a pain in my ass

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

You and Suna, Rin to you, have been best friends since diapers. The two of you did EVERYTHING together, you even moved with him to Hyogo after he got scouted. You and him were inseparable; Keyword were.

It all started when he met Sato Rei a beautiful girl with an ugly personality. He almost immediately warmed up to her and though you should’ve been happy, you weren’t. It’s not that you were unhappy that he was friends with another girl, never would you be unhappy about that. It’s about this specific girl. Rei was known to be the campus playgirl, but that didn’t bother Suna. You had no idea what Rei’s intentions were so you were tryin x g to stay positive, but you couldn’t ignore that gut feeling that was telling you this wasn’t going to end well.

Over time, Suna and Rei grew closer and he admitted to you that he has a crush on her and pleaded you to help him ask her out. Hesitantly, you agreed but immediately regretted it. I mean who helps set up their best friend with a literal snake? And especially when you’ve had a massive crush on him since the 5th grade.

About 3 months after their meeting, he finally asked her out and to nobodies surprise, she said yes. Despite your aching heart, you were happy that Suna found someone, even if that person wasn’t you. Your mother and Suna’s had always thought that the two of you were going to end up together but now that doesn’t seem like the case.

This all took place about 6 months ago. Ever since the two started dating, Suna didn’t talk to you as often. He didn’t make plans with you, he never came over to your house anymore and he hardly ever talked to anyone except for Rei. You rarely ever got to talk to him except for at volleyball for maybe 10 minutes until Rei would shoot daggers at you through her eyes at come drag him away. No matter where he was, she would be there and no one was allowed to talk to him.

She was also very jealous, whenever you would say hi to Suna you swore you could see the veins in her forehead popping out. You were trying your best to maintain your friendship while still being mindful that you may be making Rei uncomfortable, but no matter how hard you tried she always found something to complain about; this resulted in you and Suna not even greeting each other in the school hallway because apparently you were “making a pass” at him

Eventually, you and the rest of the team grew annoyed with this but you couldn’t say anything, Rei was every where. You couldn’t help but not like her, she lives up to her reputation.

Those 6 months felt like hell to you. You missed your best friend, you missed seeing him everyday, you just missed his presence. You and him were practically attached at the hip, when the two of you moved you had no one else to rely on but each other, so for him to suddenly not be available was really hard on you. However, the holidays were nearing and that meant winter break. Winter break means you and Suna finally get to go back to your home prefecture, which just so happens to be three hours away, meaning Rei can’t go.

Of course when Rei found this out she was extremely unhappy, but there was nothing she could do. Her parents wouldn’t let her go and your families were awaiting yours and Suna’s return. She tried everything to convince her parents to let her go, but they ultimately said no. This lead to her having a conversation with you before break started.

(this took place like 2 weeks ago)

It went a little bit like this:

“What the fuck is wrong with you (L/N)? You really think you can just take my boyfriend away from me? What is your issue?” She snarled at you, her eyes dark and full of jealousy.

“Sato I’m not trying to take him away, we’re not from this prefecture and our families want us home for the holidays” You explained calmly as she rolled her eyes

“Oh as if! Cut the excuse (L/N)! I know what you’re planning and it’s not gonna work.” She accused you. What would you even be planning?

“I’m not planning anything..?” You say, more of a question than a statement and you watch her roll her stupid dumb pretty eyes.

“Just stay away from Rintaro. He wants nothing to do with you.” She said as she turned away, her long brown hair swaying as she walked.

To say you were annoyed would be an understatement. Who was she to say what Suna wants and what he doesn’t? Yeah she’s his girlfriend but they haven’t even known each other for a full year. You were beyond tired of this and you badly just wanted to go home where things would be normal.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

You couldn’t help but smile in relief when you saw Suna walking towards you at the train station without the raging Rei behind him. As he walked towards you, you noticed a small smile growing on his tired features. It wasn’t a noticeable smile, it wasn’t one that just anyone would notice, it was one that you and only you could detect.

On the train ride home, everything finally felt like it went back to normal. The two of you were able to talk freely just like you used to, it felt nice. When the two of you arrived at Suna’s houss, it felt even better. Being around your families reminded you of the time before the two of you moved to Hyogo, everything was good, everyone was happy, up until now.

At dinner Suna’s mother brought up Rei and as Suna began to talk about her you went silent, you weren’t sure what to say. You just knew what not to say, it was something along the lines of:

“Yeah but Auntie did Rin here ever mention that his girlfriend is a complete snake?”

“(Name) honey, is something the matter?” Suna’s mother soon brought you out of your thoughts.

“It’s nothing Auntie — the train ride just left me a bit tired is all.” You laughed a fake laugh which caused Suna to squint his eyes at you. You were hoping no one would notice, but your best friend being the observant man he is, he just had to notice.

“Ah is that so? Well it is a bit late and we’re all done eating. Rintaro can you do us a favor and walk (Name) home?” His mother said in a sweet tone. Your house wasn’t far, just down the street. You didn’t need to be walked home, but you appreciated her caring for you.

“I will, I’ll just use the bathroom first.” He said nonchalantly as he pushed in his chair with his hip and made his way to the bathroom upstairs.

His mother waited a minute until she heard the bathroom door close. She could tell something was off with you. You hardly ever reacted like that, it seemed as if you had a million thoughts rushing through your head.

“Now then tell me dear, what is this Rei girl actually like?” She asks dead serious as she makes eye contact with you.

“What do you mean Auntie..?” You knew exactly what she meant, you just didn’t want to answer out of fear of Rin hearing.

“You know what I mean dear, what do you think of the two of them? Are they right for each other?”

“Honestly? No, I don’t think so. They’re — they’re too complicated and Rei is too… Controlling? I don’t know how to tell Rin though, I’m not sure how he’d react.” You nearly began to rant. You probably would’ve had his mother not calmed you down.

“Relax, it’s okay. I know how you feel about my son, dear. I can tell you like him, if you think this relationship isn’t right for him you should tell him. He’s your best friend, he’ll understand.” She smiled as she squeezed your hands in hers. You couldn’t help but smile back. Suna’s mother always felt like a second mother to you, and you couldn’t help but love her for supporting your feelings for Suna.

“Okay. I’ll talk to him on the way home.” You said as she nodded in satisfaction. If his mother thinks it’ll work, what could go wrong?

“(Name) you ready to go?” Suna said suddenly as he approached the two of you with a tired look on his face, more tired looking than usual. He also took a bit longer than usual… Could it have been Rei? No, that’s not any of your business.

“Yeah let’s go” Hugging his mother goodbye, the two of you made your way out the door and towards your house. The walk was silent for a bit until you decided to finally talk to Suna.

“Hey Rin?” You looked up at him as he looked back at you

“Hm?” He hummed back in response.

“Can I ask you something? About Rei..?” The blocker tensed up at this, why did you want to talk about Rei? You hardly ever talked about her.

“What is it?”

“I just… I don’t know if she’s right for you.” You curse at yourself immediately once you finish your sentence. You knew you shouldn’t have worded it like that but it just came out like word vomit.

“Excuse me?” He sounded offended, rightly so though.

“Shit— I’m sorry Rin I didn’t mean it like that” Your eyes went wide at his tone, you immediately try to apologize but he just shuts it down.

“What is that supposed to mean, (Name)This is my relationship, not yours.”

“I know that I’m just trying to warn you—“

“Warn me about what? Fucking hell (Name! you’re like a toddler, you don’t know when to leave me alone. Can you just butt out of my business for once?”

“Butt out? Rin I’m just trying to help you! I don’t think you’ve noticed, but Rei has been so controlling of you! We miss you, the team misses you, I miss you Rin. I just want my best friend back!”

“Yeah, butt out. I want you to mind your own fucking business. So what if you think Rei is controlling? Whether you like it or not Rei is my girlfriend, she’s my top priority. So I’m sorry if I’m not paying attention to you like I used to but I actually have a life.” Ouch. His words stung like salt on an open wound. He knew how to hit you where it hurt.

“Rin that’s not all I’m trying to say.”

“Oh my god (Name) what part of butt out do you not understand? You’re so fucking annoying. I’m sorry that no one wants you but just cause no one wants you doesn’t mean that you have to come and mess with my relationship! What Rei and I do is none of your concern so I’m sorry if you’re unhappy but you get no say in this.”

“Rin do you hear what I’m saying right now? I’m not saying I should have a say in your relationship, I’m trying to warn you. Please just listen to me, you have no idea what I’ve heard about Rei on campus and—“

“You don’t even know Rei, (Name). You’ve put in no effort into talking to her and now you’re just coming at her for no reason!” He got you at the first part. However he was still partially wrong. You tried talking to her at first, but she turned you down and whenever you’d try she looked as if she was going to murder you so you just stopped trying.

“Oh my god Rin why are you always defending her? She’s not always the victim, y’know what she said to me before we left Hyogo?” He seemed confused so he stayed quiet.

“She told me to stay the fuck away from you cause you want nothing to do with me!” He rolled his eyes at you.

“Oh like hell she did! She wouldn’t do something like that, (Name) you’re just insecure and you’re such a fucking cry baby. Can you just grow up?”

“Grow up? I am growing up, Rin. I’m here trying to be the bigger person and help you but you won’t fucking listen to me!” He only scoffs at you

“I don’t need your help, You’ve never done anything to help me.” That was a lie. He knew it was.

“Shut up Rin. You have no idea what you’re talking about. I have been here since day one, through thick and thin and you’re saying I’ve never helped you? I moved to Hyogo with you so that you wouldn’t be by yourself, I made sure you were healthy and on top of grades, I was always there whenever you needed me.” He knew all of this. He knew how much he owed you but he didn’t want to admit it.

“I didn’t ask you to be there.” He shouldn’t have said that, he knew you were there because you wanted to be, he didn’t have to ask you.

“You didn’t have to! Rin you’re my best friend I would’ve gone through hell and back just to make sure you’re okay! I care about you Rin. All I’m asking of you is for you to listen to what I’m saying. I don’t want to see you hurt.” Your heart was aching and your head was throbbing. This conversation was giving you a migraine.

“Can you shut up? I don’t need you nagging about my relationship when you’ve never even been in one. I get it you care or whatever but I could care less, I said it already but I don’t need your help. Can you just accept the fact that you don’t need to be constantly in my life and you don’t have to be butting around all the time? You say Rei is controlling but do you see yourself? This is why I chose to be with Rei instead of you, she doesn’t always bombard and nag me, she actually— “ This was your breaking point. You could bear to hear him belittle you and compare you to someone you’re nothing alike. He doesn’t even know why he was still talking, its like he can’t control his own mouth.

“You know what? I’m done. I’m not doing this anymore, it’s a lost cause because clearly you don’t want to hear me out! I don’t need you comparing me to her. Just leave me alone Suna.” That’s all you said as you walked away from him. He didn’t think you were being serious when you said that last sentence, he didn’t think this argument was enough to end your friendship, but clearly he had no idea about the impact of his words.

When he returned back to his house, he acted as if everything were normal. The two of you have argued before and he was sure it would go back to normal. He had no idea how wrong he was.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

School wasn’t the same since.

Some things were the same though, he was still with Rei, you were still a manager. But the main difference, is that you two aren’t friends anymore. He didn’t think you were being serious. He thought that you two would just take a break and then you’d go back to normal, but clearly that wasn’t going to happen. It seemed like you truly had no intent of speaking to him again.

In fact, it’s been 2 months since the two of you last spoke and his relationship was going down hill rapidly. Everyone on campus could tell something was up but no one dared to ask. All they knew is that you and Suna were no longer friends, and it ached his heart knowing that it’s his fault.

He tried texted you, but you never answered simply just leaving him on read.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

rin: I’m sorry (12/24/12) 11:30 pm

rin: Please pick up(12/25/12) 10:30 am

rin: (Name)?(12/25/12) 10:32 am

rin: Are you okay? (12/25/12) 10:35 am

rin: I know I fucked up just please answer your phone (12/25/12) 10:39 am

rin: (Name)‼️‼️ (12/25/12) 10:42 am

rin: (Name) if you dont answer the phone. 10:49 am

rin: Yk what fine I’ll leave you alone (12/25/12) 11:13 am

rin: I miss you, I’m sorry. (1/26/13) 12:47 am

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Suna’s thoughts

“I miss my best friend, but it’s my fault she’s even gone in the first place. I’m sure she hates me, but thats my fault too. I’m sorry (Name)”

Every day he regrets that night. He see’s you in the hallway every day and he can’t help but wish he could just go back in time before he said all of that shit. He feels like a total asshole everyday. He knows for a fact his younger self would have hated him for driving you away. When he sees you, he wants nothing more than you hug you just like he used to. He misses seeing you walking happily around his apartment while you two wait on the food you ordered.

He should’ve listened to you and he knew that. He let his anger get the better of him and he blew up on you.

You warned him and he didn’t listen. He wanted to blame Rei for this, but it wasn’t her fault. It was no one’s fault but his. It’s his fault you don’t want to talk to him anymore and he has no one to blame but himself.

Suna Rintaro is a man of many regrets, but hurting you is his greatest regret.

“I don’t know if she’ll ever want to be friends again. I doubt she does, but I’ll be waiting for her anyway, for as long as it takes.”

Or at least thats what he thinks.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

(Name)s thoughts

“Even though I miss him, I need to heal first. I’m not ready to face him yet, but there is no way in hell I’d ever throw away our friendship. We just need time. I asked him to leave me alone and he’s learning to respect that.”

He thinks you hate him, but the truth is you could never hate him. Even if you tried you don’t think you’d ever be able to hate him. Yes he hurt you, but before he hurt you he protected you with all he had. When the two of you moved to Hyogo, he would walk you to school every morning and night just to make sure you were safe. You still see his messages, you haven’t blocked him, and yes it seems cruel but you just need time to heal. You told him not to talk to you again, but you know you’ll come back. Not any time soon, but when the time is right. It won’t be the same as it used to be, but you’d never leave him alone.

You’re upset he didn’t listen to you, but it taught him a lesson. Plus it’s only your second year of high school, high school isn’t forever. One fight isn’t enough to end your 16 years of friendship, in a few years it’ll only be an old wound that healed and turned into a scar.

You miss him just as much as he misses you, but you are waiting patiently for the right time for you to come back but for now, the two of you need time apart to heal.

“He has nothing to worry about, he’s my best friend and no one will ever take that place from him”

Fin~

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

a/n: thinking about making a part 2 with a happy ending

#arins works✒️#haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#suna rintarou #suna x reader #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro fic #suna angst #hq suna #suna rintarō #suna rintaro angst

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kazucafe · 9 months

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⌗ genshin boyfriend hcs.

characters: diluc, kazuha, xiao, thoma, zhongli, & venti x gn!reader

genre: fluff, very tiny hint of angst

author's note: allow me to indulge in my genshin men brainrot <3 if you enjoyed reading, likes and reblogs are highly appreciated :']

diluc ragnvindr.

a gentleman, is always polite with his gestures.

if you visit him while he's on his shift at the tavern, he'll walk to where you're seated and greet you with a kiss on the forehead.

"hi, love." yeah *swoons*

would drop everything in the blink of an eye if you asked him to.

there will be at least one day when you'll be spending your time with him horseback riding and he'll sit behind you and help you control the reins. <3

he comes home late at night after he's finished patrolling the premises undercover, and opens his room to you having fallen asleep awaiting his return.

plants a gentle kiss before proceeding to lay down and holding you in his arms. he likes to nuzzle into the crook of your nape.

kaedehara kazuha.

will write poems for you <3333 will also leave handwritten love letters for you to find.

probably has secret spots where he always loved to rest whenever he was alone, but nowadays, he shares these places with you bc he'd be the happiest man alive if he had two of his favorite things at once <3

camping and stargazing dates >>

he would introduce you to his family (if he had one)

you’d find that they’d already heard so much about you and have been waiting to meet you!

xiao.

a lot of the time, xiao's days will consist of fulfilling his duty to honor his god and protect the people of liyue.

but no matter how busy he can get, he will not hesitate to rush to your side if you so much as whisper his name.

if you ask for something simple like wanting a hug or giving him a kiss, he'll look away and grumble, "you shouldn't call me for such a mundane request."

it's funny he says that when he still complies and sends you a look, silently hoping you'll give him another kiss.

make him wear a flower crown !?

if you successfully persuade him to get some rest, he'll sleep on your lap or lean on your shoulder.

rest assured that the nightmares he dreads to face each time he closes his eyes will never make an uninvited entrance. not as long as you're by his side.

thoma.

HE !! WILL !! COOK !! FOR !! YOU !!

his schedule is packed, but he'll always make time for you. if he has only a five-minute break, he'll immediately look for you, even if neither of you have anything to do.

if you get sick, he's the best person to take care of you.

he worries a lot :( will probably nag your ears out, but that's fine because regardless of how heightened his emotions are at that moment, you can clearly hear the softness of his tone. that's how you know he loves you. <3

zhongli.

another gentleman, always walks you home

IS SO GENTLE and will greet you by kissing the back of your hand

enjoys sharing his thousands of years' worth of memories with you

he's not one for extravagant things; his ways of showing affection are subtle but consistent and never fail to tug at your heartstrings.

loves travelling and tasting different kinds of wine with you

isn’t it just so pretty to think maybe you could live forever by his side?

venti.

also very doting <3 always ready to shower you with hugs and kisses

he'll serenade you every night because he says he wants "to win your heart over and over again" and remind you that he belongs to no one else.

he'll take you with him everywhere he goes, letting you touch the clouds as you ride on dvalin's back.

he's right beside you as you fall asleep at night, looking at you with so much love, like you're the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to him.

and you are.

he thinks you’re the closest thing to freedom he’s ever been.

and he wonders what he's done to deserve all the happiness you've made him feel.

#[ ✒️ ] — my works.#genshin impact #genshin fluff #genshin x reader #genshin angst #diluc x reader #kazuha x reader #xiao x reader #venti x reader #thoma x reader #zhongli x reader

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iwouldfuckdarkiplier · 1 year

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aye. hear me out. Darkiplier, as a shadow leviathan from Subnautica, fucking a diver reader. Imagine the utter SEX APPEAL from a giant feral demon fish with a massive eldritch penis. that is all thank you - ✒️💥 (penstrike anon, if the emojis aren't taken)

Added!

#anonymous #✒️💥 anon #Pen Strike Anon #Mod A #Darkiplier #Darkiplier/Reader #Darkiplier x Reader #lemon #also yall dont @ me if shit starts looking weird tumblr took away my blank replies when everything updated and xkit isnt working right

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styxshipz · 2 months

Note

🧦 - Which item from your wardrobe would you give to your f/o?

👀 - What's your favorite physical feature on your f/o?

Feel free to answer with whoever you see fit!

gonna do these w that grey one... :]c

🧦 - ok she doesnt wear very many clothes and Again our styles are very different. why must i have a thing for goth girls orz but um!! i think shed like my pajama pants cuz theyre v soft.... also i have black ones she could wear lol (wearing them rn.. a teehee)

👀 - idk if it counts but my favorite thing abt her Is her voice. theres just smth abt it thats so cute and endearing to me.. but uh ig also her little soft serve flip on her head. i wanna kiss it i think giving her a big ol smooch on her head would make us both worse <33

#styx says #💜whimsically whistful✒️#I <3 MY GIRLFRIEND !!!!!#not calling her by her name cuz idk how to censor it in a way that works lol but . yknow

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inviridescent · 2 years

Text

✦ antiscian – “whose shadows at noon are cast in opposite directions.”

“why are you calling, ‘bedo?”

aforementioned person rolls his eyes through the phone, setting up his own to give you a clear view of him and his dim room, “what, am i not allowed to call the one i love now?”

“it’s around three in the morning in yours,” you reply.

“you know me and my sleeping habits. it’s harder to sleep now, since you aren’t here. it’s too quiet.” funny, since you think the same.

ever since albedo flew to the other side of the world for a convention, you found the apartment you shared with him too... soundless; too void of life. you missed the ambience he brings, and his small hums while he works, and his small cactus (that he brought along with him – “something to remember you by!” “you sound like i’m going to disappear” – as unconventional as it is), every little thing you can see him in. home without albedo does not feel like home.

“love? are you okay?” he eyes you with concern while jotting something down in his notebook. busy as ever, you think.

you sigh, disapproving of his decision to continue his work. “go to sleep, ‘bedo. i’m sure you should be early tomorrow, well, today, in your case.”

he frowns, “you didn’t answer my question.”

no, you want to answer. no, i’m not okay. because i miss you, and you’re on the other side of the world. you’re too out of my reach sometimes that it makes me question, truly, are you even real? even with the world in your fingertips, how can i still be able to call you mine?

sometimes, i feel bad for asking too much. “i’m fine, love. go to sleep.”

“you do know that i’ll drop anything for you,” albedo whispers. neither of you know why he says it so quietly – but you could only focus on what he says, and that he knows, and still chooses to be patient with you. you try not to break down.

“i miss you, albedo,” you breathe with a shaky sigh. “come back quickly.”

he smiles softly, “then, wait for me, my love.”

note: projecting except i dont actually have a long distance relationship bc i dont have an s/o and im also delusional

#albedo x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #+✒️works #i actually hate this piece i will make up for it Later

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light-lanterne · 9 months

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what the heck have i just read,,,

guys, there are a lot of similarities between all the members of the party. they all are outcasts of some kind, they all share some general traits (hence why they became friends in the first place), and they're all going through similar experiences as a result of their involvement with the upside down and all that.

but they're all unique individuals who all have their own struggles and character arcs and none of them exist purely to give depth to the other -_- parallels exist to add layers to certain aspects of the character's stories and the overall narrative, not to reduce an entire character's journey to those similarities and then proceed to ignore everything else about them. that is such a shallow way to consume the source material we all enjoy :|

it's okei to like certain characters more, and it's okei to point out all the little hints the duffs have left woven throughout the entire show to hint towards what's going to happen next with certain individuals and plot lines,,,

just don't reduce the entirety of one main character's existence to some very specific moments and traits in order to justify or enrich someone else's arc >:\

#✒️#💡#🧸#this is about some random post claiming max “was created” to add onto will's arc btw. which is... yeah...#while somewhat similar in the way they both got targetted by vecna. they each have their own experiences in that regard :\#(the same applies w mike btw. there are some strong madwheeler parallels in s4 but that doesn't mean mike is getting a copy of her arc e.e)#(also. pet peeve of mine (tw // suicide): the post claimed max's s4 arc is confirmation that will is suicidal... /but he isn't/ :|#just like mike isn't suicidal just because he chose to jump off the quarry that one time to save dustin. will telling everyone to close the #gate in s2 was not him being suicidal per se. it was him trying to save his family and friends even if it came at the expense of his life.#yes this ties in to his low self-worth. yes by definition mike and will were technically killing themselves in both these incidents.#and yes both mike and will show signs of them being depressed in different levels and ways. but self-sacrificial tendencies don't #immediately translate to an active pursuit of death. particularly when they only did their thing in moments /when their loved ones were in #peril/ x.x) alas. i digress. just please stop throwing words around and fanfic-icating everything. and please stop taking max's arc #and making it everyone's but hers :\ it was a great representation of survivor's guilt and the conflicting relationship an abusee has with #their abuser and that 3-season-long plot line only works with her -_-#anyway. just be careful of your wording when discussing parallels :\

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thewriterscats · 2 months

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The narrative desperately trying to save a very obviously doomed character only for them to make themself worse than they were ever supposed to be

#writing #writing blog #writing humor #my writing #work in progress #wip #writings #stories #authors #👻✒️

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megiro · 4 months

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𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.｡✧･ﾟ:*

✩ 𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧, 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫, 𝐬𝐡𝐞/𝐡𝐞𝐫, [𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐩] ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

✩ 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 ➜ @k0dzukeiji

“𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭“

little reminder that I have a life outside tumblr and am not obligated to write unless I feel like it (¯ ³¯)♡

“𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞“

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ✧°｡⋆: ˚

𝐏𝐎𝐏𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐑 ➜ 𝐭𝐛𝐚...

𝐍𝐄𝐖 ➜ 𝐭𝐛𝐚...

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐎𝐎𝐍! ➜ 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐮𝐭𝐲 - 𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢

𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐕 ➜ 𝐭𝐛𝐚...

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒 ➜ #arins works✒️#arin writes jjk✒️ #arin writes shit‼️ #arins asks💌 #arins reblogs🔁 #arins recommendations🎧 #arins thoughts💭 #arins anons🫶 #arins masterlist📋 #arins navi💗

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 ➜ 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐧 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

arins notes: I reserve the rights to my work, my work is mine and mine alone (minus the characters I do not own the characters as well as the art shown on my profile. These are not my own works and they belong to their original poster, I repeat ART IS NOT MINE!) do not repost, translate or plagiarize my work.

#arins navi💗#arins masterlist📋#arins works✒️#arin writes jjk✒️#arins reblogs🔁#arins asks💌#arins thoughts💭#arins anons🫶

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vxnuslogy · 1 month

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— lost to time ft. sae itoshi

— warnings: angst, character death, slight ooc?

— author's note: a reupload of my favorite work on sae while i finish editing the next 2 chapters of my hazbin series. enjoy!

— first recording

“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”

sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. it was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.

— second recording

“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport!

……

is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”

sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums.

everything passes.

— college; third recordings

“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”

sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt too foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself.

maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.

“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”

“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”

everything passes.

— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner

“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me.

……

you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”

……

“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”

sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently?

sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.

yet the silence was too loud, even for him.

everything passes.

— graduation recordings

“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”

sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible.

he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.

everything passes.

— recordings from 2 years ago

“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”

……

“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the gift. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”

……

“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”

……

“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”

everything passes.

— present

“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now!

……

sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends. thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”

“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”

“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”

“nii-chan..”

sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.

how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?

sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.

“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile.

“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”

sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own.

“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”

standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end.

sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.

sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go.

and just like your favorite author, when osamu dazai asked to die, he simplu agreed; but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.

everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.

#✒️ — works #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae x you #sae itoshi #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x you #sae itoshi x y/n #itoshi sae x y/n #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x reader #bllk x you #blue lock angst #bllk angst #sae itoshi angst

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k0dzukeiji · 5 months

Text

𝐀𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 - 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫o

part 2 to Lost cause

synopsis: though you were no longer on speaking terms, you’d never leave him alone, not when he needs you.

genre: angst>fluff, hurt>comfort

warnings: cursing, character death, crying (does that need to be a warning? idfk), mentions of break ups, NOT PROOF READ!!

wc: 1,216

taglist: @mona345 @hihello-pinky

a/n: inspired by that one audio thats like “you came, you called“ PLEASE SUNA IS SO OOC IM GOING TO SLEEP ON A HIGHWAY.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

5 months. It’s been 5 months since you last talked to your best friend Suna Rintaro. Despite not having a real conversation with him for 5 months, you still kept a close eye on him. As you watched him from afar you noticed he seemed to be doing well despite your not being present, of course it was an adjustment for him and he was acting strange for a few months but after a while he seemed to revert back to his normal self. Even after he broke up with Rei, he seemed fine. You figured you had nothing to worry about, he was happy, he was healthy, he was fine.

However recently you noticed something changed about him, he was no longer calm. He seemed restless and stressed, then he didn’t show up to school for a few days. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to miss school sometimes but this? This felt different. This made you worried, really worried. Then you received a text, a text which only intensified your worried.

He texted you while you were in the middle of filling the bottles at practice. You thought of ignoring the vibration that you felt in your pocket when his message came through, but something in your gut told you to check and when you saw the contact name, you were immediately glad you checked.

rin: (Name) I know you don’t want to talk to me right now but I really fucking need you 3:37 pm

rin: I can’t explain now but I just I need you to be here 3:38 pm

rin: Please (Name) I can’t do this without you 3:41 pm

With that, you dropped everything. You didn’t even finish filling the bottles, as soon as you saw the last message you knew he wasn’t lying. You knew he really needed you, you knew something was wrong and he needed you. You left the unfilled bottles at the fountain and started running to where you left your bag.

“(Name)? Where the hell are you going?! Practice isn’t over yet!” The blonde twin yelled as you pushed past him and the rest of the team, leaving them all stunned.

“It’s nothing! I’ll be back soon!” You yelled back as you picked up your bag, the look of worry on your face still very evident. You didn’t even give yourself a chance to change out of your tracksuit. The second you changed your shoes you were out of there.

You ran full speed down the streets of Hyogo until you reached Suna’s apartment building. Panting, you frantically entered the elevator and pressed the button to his floor. As the elevator made it’s way up, you dug through your bag in search of the spear key which Suna had given you in case of emergencies. The elevator made a ding sound as it reached the floor, immediately you ran out of the elevator and down the hallway towards his apartment.

Once you made it to his door, you were extremely out of breath, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was if he was okay. You quickly unlocked the front door and threw your things on the ground as you struggled to slip out of your shoes.

You then ran straight to his room and when you entered, you felt your heart break a little bit at the sight of him. He had the lights off and he was sat at the edge of his bed with his head buried in his hands as his body trembled. You’ve never seen him this vulnerable. Without a word, you walked towards him until you were in front of him. You got down on your knees in front of him, and began to pat his head softly.

He flinched and tensed at the sudden contact but relaxed as a sense of familiarity hit him. He immediately looked up with bloodshot eyes and teary eyes stained cheeks.

“Rin…” Your voice barely above a whisper as you brushed stray strand of his hair out of his eyes.

“(Name)… You came..” His reddened eyes widened as they focused on you, his voice sounded so broken, so hoarse as if he had been crying for hours.

“You called... Of course I came, I’ll always be here when you need me.” Suna pulled you into a tight hug, burying his head into the crook of your neck while squeezing you tight.

“It’s alright Rin, I’m here. It’s gonna be okay.” You said, you were still unsure of what happened but all you knew was that you had to be here for him. You rubbed his back in circles

“N-no…” His voice cracked and he shook his head, his embrace becoming even tighter.

“What..? Rin I need you to tell me what’s wrong”

“Mom…”

“She’s-“ It felt like his words were caught in his throat, like no matter how hard he tried to talk the words wouldn’t come out.

“Deep breaths, take your time.” He nodded his head began to inhale and exhale slowly.

“She’s gone… Mom p-passed away…” You felt your heart stop and you were at a loss for words. You didn’t know what you could say to him but all you knew was that you had to stay with him, no matter what.

“Oh Rin…” You tightened your embrace around him and rested your head against his, bringing one of your hands into his hair to try and soothe him.

“(Name)— I don’t want to be alone, please… Please don’t leave…” As you listened to him you felt a pang of guilt in your chest.

“I’m here Rin, I’m not going anywhere. It’s gonna be okay, I won’t leave.” You spoke truthfully.

“I’m scared… I lost mom and I thought I was losing you too and I— I thought you were going to leave me alone…” Your heart ached at his words, you’ve never heard him admit he was afraid. The cool, calm and nonchalant Suna you knew was here crying into your arms for the first time in years.

“I know and I am so sorry Rin, I’d never leave you alone… I’m here okay? I’m not going anywhere, I won’t leave you.” You said truthfully as he tightened his embrace around you. The two of you sat in a comforting silence while Suna cried into your neck leaving it wet, but that didn’t matter.

“I— I’m sorry for what I said on that night… I didn’t mean it. I’ll always you…” He whispered into you as he shut his eyes, letting all of his cares and worries be forgotten as he laid in your arms.

Soon, Suna’s body fell limp in your arms, signaling he had fallen asleep. Letting out a deep sigh, you press a kiss to the top of his head and embrace him just a little tighter.

“I won’t leave you alone Rin, I’d never leave you alone. I’ll always be here when you need me. You’ll never be alone, not as long as I’m around…” You whispered as you brought him closer, shutting your eyes tightly to prevent the tears from falling. It felt horrible, knowing that he was afraid to be alone and that you had left him alone for months.

You left once, but you have no intention of leaving him ever again. As long as you’re here, he’ll never have to be worried about being alone. You won’t ever leave him alone, not when he needs you.

Fin~

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: this sucks anyway OPEN ENDING AHAHAHAH (imagine whatever you want, originally this had a set ending but the writers block got to me so imagine whatever! If you have any ideas, please reblog them! I’d love to see them ＼(٥⁀▽⁀ )／

#arins works✒️#haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyu x reader #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro angst #hq suna #suna angst #suna rintaro fic #suna rintaro x reader #this sucks #suna rintarō #suna x reader #suna rintarou

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