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tastesousweet · 2 days

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Can we get a toxic!babydaddy Matt fic like I’m craving something about my man like it’s been days and I haven’t eaten

⭒ blurb : toxic!bd matt who . . .

toxic!babydaddy matt x poc!reader

warnings: toxic relationship, dad!matt (i understand if u don’t fw it), idk what else :P

mickey speaks: this is kinda different for me so ty for the req!! ik this is just a little headcannon set but i hope you luv this anon 💐

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TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . brings some girl he’s been “hanging out with” to your daughter’s third birthday party just to piss you off

he’d then get mad when you ignore him and his “friend” the entire party…

he’d come up to you as you watch your daughter play on the decorated playground from afar, “the fuck you bein’ petty for, y/n? i thought we were cool with seeing other people?”

“well i just think it’s rude, you didn’t tell me you were bringing anyone else. i don’t care who she is or what you two do it’s annoying from a planning perspective.”

“that’s my bad… you look good though,” he’d glance around for a second before coming behind you and hooking his arm on your neck.

he’d whisper in your ear while you both stare out at your lively daughter, “can’t believe she’s so big now… lookin’ just like her pretty mama.”

you’d roll your eyes and shoulder matt off of you, “matt, go fuck on the bitch you brought here. and stop saying shit like that to me.”

“jesus- watch your language there’s kids everywhere, y/n.”

you blankly stare at him and his cocky smirk that just aggravates you to pieces, “go awayyy, matt.” you whine out and pinch your eyes with a sigh.

and he laughs because everything’s a fucking joke to him.

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . your friends hate but you will always have a soft spot for, he is your daughter’s father after all

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . sends hundreds of roses to your doorstep for mother’s day

when you text him a picture of the ridiculous bouquets with a “????” he immediately facetimes you, “for the best mama in the whole world. you like ‘em?”

you shake your head and hide a smirk beneath your hand to scold him, “you do too much, matt.”

“uh huh i knew you’d say that…” he’d then ask to see his favorite girl, “now where’s my baby at?”

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . can’t mind his business to save his life. he’s always asking you questions about your personal life; and you always shut him down

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . can sometimes be a little too desirable when he drops your daughter off at your place (dressed nicely, smelling good, eyes bright yet droopingly eye-fucking you, etc), leading you to invite him in for a glass of wine or two

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . you sometimes find in your bed again when you feel particularly lonely and nostalgic

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . loves the few times he gets to to wake up to his daughter pulling on his hand and you by his side, fast asleep

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . tends to start arguments from the smallest things to get you to talk to him longer than you need to

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . will always put effort into being a great father (which you respect) despite never putting that same effort into your relationship

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . makes sure you’ll never forget he loved you first and is connected to you far deeper than any other man ever could be

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mochinomnoms · 14 hours

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Shrimpy Chronicles: Ama and the Sun

Octopolycue x Shrimpmer!Reader (Main: Azul x Reader)

Synposis:

"Ama, they liked the sun. They liked the sun and warmth and all things light. And the days that Ama would go to visit their friends on the surface, they would stay up just for a bit longer. Coral would stay in their arms, as her fathers and sister dove back down in the water, back in the darkness, and watch Ama close their eyes and feel the sun on their skin. She thinks she understands a bit. The sun, big and bright, it hurts her eyes. But the rays feel like kisses on her skin, warm and comforting. Afterwards, her Ama would always hold her close and dive back down. Her Ama was always sad after being in the sun." or Your daughter notices that you yearn for the sun and the surface more than her other parents do, and learns why.

Takes place after "Mating Season", different timeline from "The Delights of being a 'Zuzu'". Neither are necessarily needed to understand the story, but are helpful for some context.

[wc} - 1,818

[cw/tags] - gn!reader, reader is referred to Ama but has they/them pronouns, mild angst, has a happy ending, in daughter's p.o.v., Jade and Floyd mentioned but not seen in story (implied poly!octotrio x reader), Azul is referred to Baba/Zuzu, reader comes from a happy family in their world, i also didn't edit lol

[notes] - I wanted to write something very simple for coming off my hiatus! I have a lot of strong thoughts about preserving something like my culture and language. I imagine that for a Yuu with a strong family bond, having to accept that they can't go home and lose not only their family, but their culture and language, is quite devestating. For people in our world that have to leave their homes to go somewhere else, sometimes they forget bits of that and want to make sure that their kids know and love where they come from out of desperation to maintain that connection. I wanted to write a little something about that, hope yall like it!

Written while listening to "Shelter" by Porter Robinson and Madeon, I recommend listening to it while reading :)

There was something about the warmth of the sun that Coral was drawn to. She wasn’t sure why, her sister, Pearl, didn’t have the same inclination, nor did her fathers. Her Baba Zuzu might’ve been an exception, but he also was perfectly fine to stay in the dark, cold depths of their home.

But Coral was like her Ama. They shared a lot of similar traits, like their shrimp merforms and the color of their skin. The strand along her bangs even matched the color of Ama’s hair, pretty stark against the rest of Coral’s teal hair. Though, her twin Pearl also had the same strand, just on her opposite side.

But still, Coral was Ama’s baby girl. Coral never said it to anyone other than Pearl, but Ama was her favorite parent. And Ama?

Ama, they liked the sun. They liked the sun and warmth and all things light. Sometimes, when Ama thought no one was looking, they would gaze out the window and stare at the sunlight filtering through the water, making green and blue streaks glitter during the day.

And the days that Ama would go to visit their friends on the surface, they would stay up just for a bit longer. Coral would stay in their arms, as her papas and sister dove back down in the water, back in the darkness, and watch Ama close their eyes and feel the sun on their skin.

Coral tried to copy them once. She thinks she understands a bit. The sun, big and bright, hurts her eyes. But the rays feel like kisses on her skin, warm and comforting.

Afterwards, her Ama would always hold her close and dive back down. But Coral could see the wet look in their eyes. Her Ama was always sad after being in the sun.

Coral did her best to make sure they’d never be alone, always going with them to the surface. It was a bonus for Coral too, she got to see her Grandpa Divus and his doggies. Most of the time, though, it was her Goddads Ace and Deuce. They were okay too.

This time, her Ama and Zuzu were up on the surface to warm up as they waited for Pawpaw, though Zuzu still stayed mostly in the water. He rested his arms and chin on the rock while Ama was laying on their back, arms spread and eyes closed as they basked in the sun.

Coral had taken to hanging on one of Zuzu’s tentacles picking at the skin with her shrimp legs, trying to mimic Ama when they were cleaning her Papa and Dada, though she was starting to fall asleep.

The warm sun always made her sleepy, and Zuzu’s scratching at her scalp wasn’t helping along with his tentacle rocking her back and forth. But the low voice of Zuzu speaking to Ama caught her attention.

“You’re going to dry out if you stay too long up here.” He was whispering, like he didn’t want to wake Coral up. So she kept her eyes closed and listened, her earfins wiggling a bit.

“Mmh.” Ama hummed in response. “It’s fine, just for a bit.”

“A bit has been for almost 30 minutes.” Zuzu sighed, harsher this time. “Please, my dear, come back in the water. Coral’s fallen asleep, we should take her back home.”

“Just a bit longer Azul…please…” Ama sounded sad, the way they sighed. Coral could make out the sound of movement. Maybe Ama turned on their stomach?

“I just need this, okay? The sun and the air.” Coral peaked an eye open up at Ama and Zuzu. She could see that Ama was indeed on their stomach, facing Zuzu as they kept speaking.

“Didn’t you used to miss the sea when you were at NRC all year? The cool water, the darkness? Floyd would talk about getting homesick, wouldn’t you?”

Zuzu sighed again, holding his cheek in his hand.

“Sometimes, yes. As much as I didn’t like my natural form then, I missed having ten limbs. Losing 6 of them was a shock. Couldn’t do quite as much as I usually could.”

Ama blinked sleepily as they yawned, the sun was lulling them to sleep too. Coral really took after them.

“I just miss my home.”

Zuzu was silent, the swaying of his tentacles in the water stopping, and the one rocking Coral slowing down.

“… Your home is under the sea. You remember that, right?”

“…”

“Angelfish?”

Ama sniffled, their eyes watering as they looked to the side, staring at the shoreline nearby.

“I know! I know it is, it’s just…”

Tears began flowing from their eyes, their lips quivering as they continued.

“It’s not that I’m not happy with you all, I am. I really am, I just—” They took a shuddering breath, rubbing the tears from their eyes. “—I had another family before. Parents, siblings, friends, that I will never see again. That my girls will never meet!”

Holding their face in their hands, Ama began tearfully rambling, making Coral’s heart feel funny.

“I had a whole culture, a language, that I can barely remember now. I love my life here, but the longer I’m here, the more I feel like I’m losing a part of myself. Can you imagine that, Azul? Can you imagine remembering the touch of your mother’s hand on your cheek, but her face faded from your mind? She will never get to meet her, you, Jade, or Floyd. She will never meet her granddaughters. She will never know that I’m safe and happy and loved.”

Ama was crying now, hiccuping as Zuzu reached up to cradle their face, pressing his forehead again theirs. He was wiping their tears away, cooing at them like he would when Coral or Pearl had a nightmare.

“And you are so loved, my dear. I can’t begin to imagine how you feel, but know that when the twins and I gave our word to care for you, we meant it.” Zuzu pressed a soft kiss against their lips, giving them a small smile. “We never go back on our word, especially where you are involved.”

Sighing, Ama nodded, holding Zuzu’s hand against them as they kissed his palm.

“I know, I just hope that somehow, my family knows that. That I’m loved, and safe. And trying to keep their part of me alive.”

Zuzu chuckled softly, one of his tentacles scooping up some water to pour over Ama’s drying tail.

“Is that why you’ve been teaching them phrases in your language? Pearl was shouting something at Floyd a few days ago after he took the jellyfish she was trying to teeth on. Did you teach her curse words?”

Ama snorted, smiling at him as they reached down to splash some water onto their face, speaking a phrase in the foreign tongue that Ama spoke to them sometimes.

“No, nothing remotely like that. It means ‘I love you’ in my language. I just told her it’s a bad word, and to never say it. I figured she’d try cussing one of the twins out eventually, so I told her how to say ‘i love you’ instead.”

Zuzu tilted his head as he repeated the words, though he sounded off. Ama giggled at him, shaking their head.

“No, you gotta click your tongue! Like this.” Ama repeated it, their voice taking on a different tone and accent as they did.

Zuzu repeated it back, sounding closer to Ama’s accent, though they still giggled at him.

“I’m trying! Don’t laugh!” Zuzu huffed, though Coral could make out the tips of his mouth curl up into a smile. “Say it again, say I love you in your tongue.”

Ama smiled, their skin flushing as they repeated the words.

“Hmm, again.” Zuzu purred, smiling at the shy smile on Ama’s face. They repeated it again. And again as Zuzu kept demanding them to say it again and again, while Ama kept giggling and repeating it back.

Coral cringed at the display, feeling embarrassed as they shared a long kiss.

“Ew…Ah!”

Coral yelped as the tentacle that had been cradling her suddenly tightened around her waist and lifted her upside down. Squealing at the sudden change, Coral giggled as Zuzu brought her between them, he looked annoyed as Ama was smiling.

“I thought you were asleep, were you pretending, you little sneak?” Zuzu clicked his tongue, though based on his smirk, he was more amused than anything.

“Hehe, noooo~” Coral giggled as she was lowered down into Ama’s arms, who cradled her against their chest and fluttered kisses against their cheeks. “Ah! Ama! That tickles!”

Coral squirmed against their grasp, finally wiggling up as their little legs grabbed onto Ama’s arms to hold herself straight.

Trying to straighten her face, Coral grabbed Ama’s cheeks with her little hands and, very seriously in her opinion, asked, “Is Ama okay? You were crying about home, do you not like being in the ocean?”

Ama frowned, shaking their head as they gave Coral a smile and bumped their forehead against hers.

“No, baby, Ama loves being in the ocean. They just miss being a human with their family.”

“Ama was a human?! No way!” Coral gasped, eyes going wide. “I thought that was just for school!”

Coral frowned as she thought back to Ama’s earlier words.

“Do we have more family far away? In the land? Is that why Ama is so sad?” Coral asked, watching as Ama’s face turned sad, but quickly back to a small smile.

“Yes, baby, but it’s more complicated than that.” Ama lifted Coral into their arms, sliding down into Zuzu’s arms and tentacles as he lowered them back down into the water. “I’ll tell you more about it when you’re older, okay?”

“Besides,” Zuzu piped up, pressing a kiss into Coral’s forehead. “You’re still due for a nap, Coral, you can wait later.”

Coral pouted, mumbling complaints to herself as they all dove back into the water.

“But I wanna know noooow…it’s not fair! I’m not—” Coral yawned mid-sentence. “—mmh. Ima not tired…”

One of Zuzu’s tentacles reached over to brush her hair as Ama cradled her closer to their chest, Coral curling against them despite herself.

“Shush, go to sleep, baby.” Ama cooed as they slowly made their way back home. “I’ll be here when you wake up, and you can ask whatever you want, okay? Sleep my baby.”

Coral blinked sleepily, eyes wandering as she made out the outline of her Ama’s face as they brushed a finger against her cheek.

Coral thinks she understood what her Ama was saying. She loved Ama’s hands on her cheek. She loved her Ama’s face. She never wanted to forget her Ama’s face.

Her final thought, before finally falling asleep to the image of Ama’s smiling face, was how warm her Ama made her feel. Like her own personal sun.

comments and reblogs appreciated 🩷

#mochi fic #twst #twisted wonderland #jade leech #floyd leech #azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade/azul #floyd/azul #octotrio #octopolycule #shrimpy chronicles

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unoriginal-and-dumb · 1 day

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heello do you have any tips for noobie artists? ur art is just so very neat to me :) plz never stop arting

Never do what I do unless it is drawing all the time

Use references!! Always use them!!! Seriously please use references never let a stupid little rat in your ear take that away from you, they are always so valuable

If you see art you like, don’t be afraid to basically try recreating the same exact thing. All you have to do is not claim it as youre own, and better yet don’t post it online! It’s for practice, people don’t need to see practice in the end it’s only for you

Tracing is NOT wrong. I’m tired of people saying ohhh tracing is bad don’t do it ITS LITERALLY NOT!!!! Just don’t trace over someone else’s work/images and claim it as your own it’s that easy. If youre struggling with hands take photos of your hands and trace over it! Break them down into simple forms until you have an understanding of them in a meaningful way!

Do some studies of specific things. Struggling with leg anatomy? Draw a page full of legs, just push and pull and scribble and see what works, study images and see how you can reproduce it or stylize it

Never feel like you need to find your own art style immediately, that task is practically impossible. Everything comes from something, be inspired by others take little art bits from styles you like and only then can you create your own style!! (I mean dawg my style can be broken down into adventure time, owl house, invader zim, gooseworx, eddsworld, sr pelo, a few others im probably forgetting)

Don’t worry about broadcasting your work, not everyone needs to know all that you draw, the internet can be a hateful place and it really does suck a lot but also try not to rely on strangers online for support on everything you do, I know it is hard and that approval feel good I cannot deny it but remember to keep some stuff for yourself, a little treat where nobody can criticize you :)

Try to draw everyday! Or having a sketchbook where you make it a goal to completely fill 2 pages a week, and if that’s too much then just some doodles! Art takes a lot of constant practice, and there’s really nothing more fun than just having a little sketchbook with you where you draw random stuff all the time. When I was doing that I would make 2 page mini invader zim comics

I feel like a bit of a hypocrite because I do maybe 1 of these things but i know they are really good, I have done them before and they were super helpful! But in the end I think the best you could do is just keep at it! Don’t let people get you down, do your own thing, break rules if you want, it’s all art and art is AWESOME!!!!!!!

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thequietkid-moonie · 4 hours

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Hi~ Hi! ~How are you? Don't forget to rest, this is very important!

Can I request Welt Yang, Dan Heng and Arlan with a blind reader(gn or male)? Reader can protect himself, reserved and calm, but there are days.... When reader very upset about what he can't see their ٩(๑꒦ິȏ꒦ິ๑)۶

(hurt /comfort )

Reserved and calm blind S/O

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Welt, Dan Heng, Arlan ]

[ Honkai Star Rail ]

Hehe :3c thanks for being so considerate and requesting some of my favorites boooooys ~

I think i already said this before but one of my biggest fears is to be completely blind, but writing this kind of prompt actually makes me feel comforted and less afraid! So thank you

Also WE NEED MORE ARLAN CONTENT!! HE DESERVE MORE LOVE!! COME ONE, HOYOVERSE!! THIS IS NOT FAIR FOR MY POOR BOY!! EVEN PEPPY HAS MORE LOVE

Welt Yang

Once you two start to be in a relationship Welt is already sure of what he feels for you and that he wants to share his life with you, he isn't the type to tell everyone about your relationship but is quite obvious that you two are together by how close he likes to stay with you or the expression full of adoration Welts has whenever he look at you

Welt doesn't think that your disability is a problem for your relasionship and he has no problem with helping you around if you need it, however he won't underestimate you in the slighlest, if you say that you are capable of taking care of yourself then he will step back and let you walk around on your own, just offering you his help when is need it (or when you want it)

Welt loves you and cares for you so of course he will look after your well-being, he wants to make sure you are safe and is willing to use his own strenght to help you and protect you if you ever need it (just as he is willing to protect the rest of the crew), even so he knows really well that you are more than capable to protect yourself and he is willing to step back and let you fight on your own (he doesn't say it often but he feel quite prideful of the fact that you are more capable of protecting yourself, and even more whenever he can see you in action)

Although, whenever you two are in a new place Welt is a little more cautious with where you walk and what you touch, always offering you his hand so he can guide you around until you feel comfortable enough to do it by your self (he can't really let you borrow his cane but he can always get one for yourself)

If you ever ask him to describe something for you he can do it, he takes a moment to be able to think on how to describe something in the best way posible and he is actually really good at doing it (he once worked in an animation company so he knows how to do it, however he sometimes can be a little too specific or talk with technicalities so he may have to explain a few things twice, but he doesn't mind and actually apologize for not being clear enough with a soft chuckle)

Your calm and reserved nature is no a problem for him, he knows that he must win your trust and make you feel comfortable with him for you to open up and he is more than willing to wait for you to talk to him whenever you are ready, in the mean time you two can just spend some quality time together

The only thing that can posibly bother him about your reserved nature is if you hide what you feel and what trouble you, he understand if you don't want to seem as weak (specially by the fact that you are blind and people can underestimate you by that) or even show vulnerability, he is your partner and he wants to be able to help you, he is willing to wait for you to be comfortable but if you don't seem to talk about something that is bothering you Welt will have no other option than ask you right away

Welt knows that even if you are used to your condition and even already learn to live with it that doesn't mean it wont bother you at times or that it can't cause you troubles, so when he gets to know that there are days that you just feel bad about being blind and about not being able to see anything he isn't too surprised about it, still he won't really take it in a bad way nor think you are exaggerating or something

Welt is actually pretty good at comforting you, he doesn't like leaving you alone when you feel so bad but he is more than willing to just sit at your side and make you company, also he can be a shoulder to cry or someone to vent to and he pretty much just let you vent all you need without saying much, just the necesary for you to know that he is here for you (probably just holding you close in a really comforting embrace, as if he was trying to hide you from the world so is just the two of you). Welt is really with words too, he doesn't sugar coat things but know what to say in the right moment

Even if you never feel bad about your condition Welt is constantly giving you reasurance about how amazing and valuable you are, a disability doesn't make you less than anyone else and doesn't make him love you less, so you doesn't have to worry nor feel insecure, and yet he is more than willing to repeat it for you a million of times if that makes you feel better

Dan Heng

Dan Heng may feel quite troubled with the idea of starting a relationship for how much troubles he has with himself and his past, still he doesn't want to stop himself from walk in his own path, so, even if he can feel quite shy about the romantic stuff once he knows he likes you and his feelings are reciprocated he doesn't see why not at least give a try

Dan Heng isn't troubled in the slighest for your disability, he can feel a little sad about when thinking on it but he normally doesn't say anything about it (not wanting to upset you or even offend you by accident), he does respect you a lot and don't exactly underestimate you but he can't help but worry about you, he had a lot of troubles on the past and now that he finally can have some peace with people he can trust and love he just doesn't want to lose that

Even when you tell Dan Heng that you are more than capable to protect yourself that doesn't stop him from wanting to protect you, is just part of his caring nature (and he fears that his past just bring you problems), he just can't help but glance at you from time to time to make sure that you are alright or just to know that you are still there (in all honestly, Dan Heng sometimes just fears that something bad would happen to you and he need that constant reasurance even if you weren't blind he will feel the same)

He prefers to avoid getting into troubles but there are times when it is imposible but is in those times that he can see you actually defending yourself, and, even when he hates seeing you getting into troubles he also feel quite relief and even at ease knowing that you aren't defendless

Dan Heng doesn't mind at all your calm and reserved personality, it is a good change from the March and the trailblazer energetic mess that they are and your personality just helps him feel more at easy and comfortable, he is happy if you two just spend some quality time, even if you were just in the same room doing completely diferent things he will still appreciate those moments with all his heart

Dan Heng tries really hard to don't underestimate because of your disability but he just can't help but want to help you, and most of the times he just does things to help you unconsciously, taking your hand to help you guide yourself or making sure there is nothing that can obstruct your path while walking, he also normally walk by your side and tries to make sure no one bump into you or you yourself end up bumping into something

Whenever you have to visit a new place Dan Heng likes to walk slowly, just waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to walk with more confidence, as well he tries to describe you your surroundings mainly to warn you of what it is around (even when he is close, ready to help you avoid get hurt). He doesn't really think he is good at describing things for you but if you really want to he'll give a try, most of the time he gives good describes about the things you ask him but feels a little embarrassed if someone else heard him doing it (not that he will stop, he just can't say no to you when you ask for his help)

Dan Heng undestands really well your reserved nature, there are things that he prefer to keep for himself too, still he tries to remember you from time to time that you aren't alone in life, you have the rest of the astral express crew and you have him, even if the only thing he can do for you is be by your side the he gladly do it. When he start noticing that you feel more down Dan Heng imediatly has the impulse to offer you help and yet he ask you if he can help or you rather prefer to be alone, he doesn't like the idea of leaving you but if you feel more comfortable by being alone the he will leave you have time for yourself

Dan Heng isn't really the best to offer comfort but he at least decide to be a shoulder to cry if you need it, just letting you vent and hearing you with care, holding you close to him in a comforting embrace (if that helps you and you left him, of course) but without saying much, still he does say a few things about how important you are. Dan Heng feels quite bad about not being able to offer more comfort so he will decide to try to be more open about how much he cares for you and how important you are for him and the rest of the crew (also, he will probably ask Himeko or Welt for some device to be able to help you feel better about yourself)

Arlan

Arlan is someone really caring and selfless and when he start a relasionship with you he is more than ready to try his hardest to be a good boyfriend for you (what will take him some time and tries because Arlan tend to be way too selfless and dedicated to his job), even so, there is no doubt on how much Arlan actually loves you, even his co-workers notice and always express how happy they are for him embarrasing him on the process

The fact that you are blind doesn't bother Arlan but it does worry him, no matter how stronge and capable you are to defend yourself that doesn't stop him from worry about you (but that doesn't mean he doesn't find you incredibly amazing and admirable, everytime he thinks on how you are more than capable to protect yourself even despite not being able to see he feels motivated to do a great job in the Herta Space Station and even become stronger), Arlan is selfless and more than ready to step in the front of the battlefield to protect everyone and everything on the Space Station, and since you are so special for him that feeling just intensifies, he is naturally caring so he will always express it for you (along with his infinite love for you, most of the time he just does without noticing but with a lot of confidence, that is why he always gets embarrased when you or someone else point it out)

Most of the time Arlan is too busy to spend as much time as he would like with you so he treasures all the moments he has with you and actually tries to accommodate his schedule to be with you (thanks to Asta for that too) and when he can't he just let you with Peppy, letting you two at each other's care

Whenever you two are together Arlan tries to pay attention to the surroundings to make sure nothing will get in your way and bring you troubles, however whenever he is with you is just matter of time for him to feel so relaxed that he can let his guard down and just forget about all his work and worries for a moment, and everytime it happens he has a smile in his face, without fail. Even if he gets distracted he is quick to react, so even if he lets his guard down if something may threaten you (even something small like an obstacle that makes you stumble) he is quick to take care of it and will even apologize for let it happen

Arlan doesn't feel to skilled to be able to describe things for you if you ask him, he is more formal when describing things because of his work so he isn't confident to do it because he thinks he may just end up disappointing you so he ask Asta to do it for him, he knows she is better at helping you with that so he just steps back and watch you two talk about all you want (he feels a little bad for not being able to help you but doesn't really say it), but if you want to touch something to take a glance of it he will be happy to be there to you to hand you whatever you want to touch and make sure you don't hurt yourself by accident (if you want to touch his face he will be incredibly flustered but wont be able to say no)

Arlan is respectful of your reserved personality and the fact that you are so calm actually helps him feel more relaxed and have time to actually rest whenever he is with you, still he may feel a little bit anxious if after some time of being in a relationship you still are too reserved and prefer to don't talk to him about how you feel, he'll try to help you feel comfortable to open up but he isn't too sure to how to do it so he may just ask some advice to Asta

Getting to know that there are days where you feel really bad or even depressed because of how you disability makes you lose a lot of beautiful scenaries (specially for how much everyone in the Space Station talks about the universe and their investigation) makes Arlan feel upsed too, not because he pity you but because he doesn't like seeing his lover so sad, he will just sit by your side and let you vent all you need, holding you close and just reasuring you that even if you can't see that doesn't makes you less valuable nor less lovable, in all honestly he feels bad for not being able to do more for you and probably apologize for it too, but he also promise to never leave you and always love you, he will do everything on his power to make you happy (probably will resort to use Asta and Peppy's help to comfort you because he feels like he can't do much for you, its okay as long as it helps you feel better again)

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #welt yang #welt yang x reader #welt x reader #dan heng #dan heng x reader #hsr arlan #arlan #arlan x reader #x reader #x gn reader #video game x reader

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geese-in-a-frock-coat · 1 day

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What's your evidence for Watts and Murdoch being autistic? (I totally agree btw)

Hello, internet stranger. Buckle up cause I've thought too hard about this.

Ok disclaimer I have not really sat down and watched the whole thing for a hot minute. Its past nine, you're just gonna have to trust me this one.

Credentials: Mega autisitc

Murdoch:

Does not understand social conventions. Like this ones pretty obvious. He doesn't understand why people keep dogs. Raises his kid in a completely non traditional way. Frequently doesn't get why people care about something that he sees as not being worth it (sports and popular trends and so forth).

Doesn't like small talk

Cares about justice NOT the law. The thing that really makes me think he's autistic is that he cares about things being just and is prepared to break the rules to do so. The main example being he lets that woman out of prison depsite the fact that he could go down for it. He turns a blind eye to Watts and lets Giles go even though they're both criminals in the eyes of the law. And on the flipside he sends George to prison because I think that's what he percieves as justice (if anyone's seen the bridge this really reminds me of Saga at the end of season 2)

Sees through hierarchy. There are so many epsiodes that play out like "I think Mr X is the killer." "But Mr x is extrememly important and influential!" "I don't care he killed her."

Interest in science and inventing. Look I know we joke about stereotypes but like, its a stereotype for a reason. He builds things with an autistic brain. He uses pattern repition through learning about previous inventions and applying them to his own devices.

Visual learner. This is not autism exclusive but he solves cases in such a unique way that it screams ND to me. Murdoch often literally builds a case. They make a joke about clue/cludo but he literally has to make the model of a house to picture where everyone is. He makes all those model of the ladies that were covered in metal. And let us not forget his famous chalk board.

Buzzkill. I say this as a long-term sufferer of leaves parties at 8:45 syndrome. He does 'boring hobbies' which autistic people often have because we don't feel the need to take up traditional ones.

Remember that scene where he attempts to read out his and Julia's book and just absolutely cannot tell that no one gives a single toss about anything he's saying.

Wears the same thing for nearly 20 years. If it ain't broke don't fix it.

Refused to let his wife cut his hair because he didn't want to change from the lady who used to do it.

breather. Part 2: watts.

Cannot read social cues: Frequently insults other station house four people. Pretty sure he called someone's baby ugly but I might have hallucinated that. "You're face is symetrical." Got chucked out of station house because he didn't get on with any of them

Disregard for societal norms: doesn't feel the need to be polite or tactful with anyone or to really follow police protocol. Acts very 'improper' a lot of the time. Only got one shoe shined that one time because that was all he needed. Puts his feet on the sofa, lies on the desk and leans over tables.

Makes limited eye contact.

The man will fidget with anything: Look this is clearly a character decision from Daniel Maslany but its an autistic character decision if ever I saw one. We're talking pencils, cups, fabric, anything. If it is on the set, he will find a way to play with out. And I don't normally like to assign autistic traits onto behaviour implemented by actors but it's basically stimming at this point. I dare you to keep an eye on this man's hands for any scene and I garuntee you they will not stay still.

Disorganised, but not: He always has tiny bits of paper and whatnot in his pockets but always seems to know where everything is. organised but doesn't have to time to be tidy. Same whenever we see his flat, it's equally disorganised. as an autistic person I find things end up all over the place because I don't have the capacity to keep them in order.

Bad handwriting and can't spell

Physicality: Most autistic people will have some sort of problem with co-ordination. He walks uneavenly. He has an odd posture. I always think about that scene where he steps in sick and moves around like a dear on ice. He's clumsy, can't sit straight and has a strange posture.

can't think when being interrupted

can't focus on two things at once.

George realised he'd been possessed by aliens because he was acting normally.

pretzels: dare i say safe food. If not, they're bland, usually the same everytime and take little mental effort to consume.

Strong sense of justic: see william murdoch.

SPECIAL MENTIONS:

Dr Emily Grace: didn't become a doctor becuase she didn't want to adopt a 'cheerful bedside manor.'

Dr Julia Ogden: Married to Murdoch (like calls to like) and sees through the bullshit of victorian society.

Susannah Murdoch: has those two as parents and I have the full confidence of genetics on this one.

In conclusion:

There's probably so much more I could talk about that I just don't remember because there is a lot more of this show than most others. But anyway. Murdoch is autistic because he has to be for the show to work and becuase he often comedic-foils far too close to the sun. And Watts is autistic because there is no way on God's green earth a man who stands like that is neurotypical.

Thank you, internet stranger, I am here all week.

#sorry this is word vomit #there is a reason i shouldn't try and be funny on the internet #murdoch mysteries #cbc murdoch #cbc mm #william murdoch queer icon #william murdoch #llewellyn watts is autistic #llewellyn watts #dr julia ogden #dr emily grace #autistic stuff

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griffin-r-murray · 1 day

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TW: MENTIONS OF ABUSE AND DEATHS

TVD SPOILERS.

This is for the countless Damon dick riders.

He was an awful person.

He abused, killed and destroyed so many people's lives. Obviously others did to but I'm not sitting here defending they're actions the same way Damon defenders do.

When Stefan was with Elena he was constantly trying to be with her and was flirting with Elena knowing that Stefan was happiest with her than he probably ever was in his entire life.

He murdered Lexi, abused Caroline, killed Aaron for no reason other than to stick it up to "Elena" (who yes was actually Katherine at the time, I'm aware) cuz she broke up with him.

Klaus did horrible things like Damon but Damon wasn't abused AND hunted by his father is entire life but I understand the similarities as to why people compare them when I say I dislike Damon. Such as an abusive father, abandonment issues and complicated relationships with siblings.

I can sympathize with Damon from the amounts he suffered at the hands of his parents, being turned into a vampire against his will and the Whitmore family torturing him in horrific ways but in say that. Damon a Stefan had the same parents while I understand Stefan wasn't abused the same way Damon was people do not understand what it's like seeing someone you love being abused and being unable to do anything about it.

Also people forget that 99% of vampires were turned against they're will for example Stefan. I completely understand when Stefan turned Damon. Who the fuck wants to be alone for eternity after they're lover dies (Katherine and this applies to Damon too).

I 100% believe Damon would of turned Stefan if it was the other way around for the same reasons. Him wanting to turn Elena and Stefan turning Damon have a lot of things in common.

Y'all need to realise you're allowed to sympathize with a character while also being able to dislike them for the inexcusable things they do. Being abused is not an excuse for hurting others. We see examples of this in everyday like of good people staying good people despite the awful things that happen to them.

Obviously no character is perfect but with the amount of people defending characters like Damon to extreme extents is concerning and disappointing.

The way you view fiction characters and fictional situations is a reflection as what you believe irl and I'm sick of people pretending you can completely separate the two.

#damon salvatore #tvd universe #stefan salvatore #klaus mikaelson #the vampire diaries #caroline forbes #elena gilbert

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panoffrying · 1 month

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The Choice

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skunkes · 11 days

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I mean this vent completely neutrally and as an observation rather than Woe is Me negativity but going ham in my sketchbook has been Fun but along with not really Learning anything (tho historically no art knowledge ever sticks to my brain) I'm no closer to understanding how I WANT to draw! if that makes sense.

I dont really identify with or want to continue any of the patterns I try (nor do they get any more muscle memory-y, in the fundamentals area).

Its fine as long as its Fun but I really feel the aimlessness. Like I'll keep going but I've also. Been doing that. All I do is Keep Going, when does it all tetris together!

#continuation of this is like. idk how to trust my eyes if im being honest! and im understanding rules but not how to break em #like how i understand that in realistic proportions theres as much space above the eyes than below them on a face #but obviously people draw characters with shorter foreheads/skulls all the time #ive done it too. but it looks Wrong when i do it on purpose. i feel everything i try to do looks unintentionally wrong #idk how to get to the intentional part or what i even want that to look like!#the permanent issue of not knowing what i want it to look like i just know i dont want it to look like this #which is bad bc you shouldnt qualify things by the negatives like that....wagh #im no good at making things from scratch i wish someone wld just draw in my ideal art style already so i cld study it #(jork)#technically i cld do this with urasawa bc like i said thats a dream style right there ill just infuse it with mine #but it Feels wrong #and i know u dont need to have 1 art style forever but i draw one way and forget all the previous ways ive ever drawn #i rly dont understand! i wish we cld share brains with each other so i cld gain understanding of what to do next ykwim #bc ill always keep going i just worry im never going to Get it #that there will always be that bizarre and extreme disconnect between eye and mind and hand #talkys

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selvepnea · 5 months

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Thinking about. That one post about art. And how it's never good enough. Since you're the one that made it. And how. It might relate to how I view myself?

#Sel talks #Like. Do I like the idea of a masculine body because I think it will make me less me?#I keep thinking about a line from “in stars and time” talking about. How maybe they changed because it was easier than learning to love #Himself as he was.#Keep thinking about something my therapist said last session. About how he would hope there's more restriction around accessing trans #Health-care than there is about getting a medical Marijuana card #And even if it comes from a place of good intent; is still a harmful idea?#I keep forgetting how much importance cis people put on transitioning. And it's just. Not? For me?#My body is just another form of expression for me to form and play with. And I feel like it might be hard to try and get someone who's #Not thought a lot about gender to understand.#I don't really want to lable it as “transitioning” either. My isat brainrot is wanting me to call it “Changing”; bit I'm not sure if that's #Quite accurate either. Like. We don't have a word for playing with different styles of clothes? Why do I need one for messing w other types #Of presentation?#Sigh...#I'm soooo tempted to just go on t and not do anything else. No name change. No sex change. And not tell anyone.#Why do I need to take into consideration how much my decision weighs on other people?#I feel like I've gotten too many reminders that “tomorrow's not promised” or “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives”#“Don't live wondering” or whatever that old lesbian slogan was. “We're all going to die so who cares if it's a waste”? Some will wood song #I'm listening to. I just.#Why am I waiting for the perfect opertunity to transition? Or change or whatever.#I've always considered my want to masculinise as me taking “be the change you want to see” either too far or too literally #I want to see men in dresses!! And if no one else around here is going to do it I guess that falls on me!#Why must I follow everyone else's path to t?? I want to make my own!#Grrr barkbark #I feel so underequiped to change the world; why must I do it?? Can't it just change for me??

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mars-ipan · 6 months

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overcoming anxiety (through practicing the things that scare you) is so interesting. i used to be horrified of taking up space or alerting other people of my presence. now i'm compelled to tell strangers i like their outfits or hair or earrings- on bad days i tell maybe a quarter of them. do i still overthink it? absolutely. but i call attention to myself to tell someone else my opinion. and with the way they tend to smile and tell me "thank you!" i'm pretty sure it's taken to heart.

i used to be horrified of making phone calls as well. this is one i'm still getting over- i just Don't Like Doing It. i used to have a phone call routine that i still joke about- realize i need to call someone, cry, avoid it for a few days, suck it up, write a script, memorize the script, cry again, final script read, make the call with the script in front of me. and i would be Exhausted by the end of it. i don't cry when i need to call people anymore. i'm even needing scripts less and less- i've found out that people actually won't kill me if i talk a little too fast or stumble on my words. i doubt i'll ever like making phone calls- i especially hate robots (i'm afraid they'll mishear me and direct me wrong or a person will suddenly show up and i won't be prepared)- but i can make them now.

i get overwhelmed really easy. just a thing that happens to me. my brain is really really good at taking one task and breaking it up into thousands of little tasks and it feels like i'm drowning. if i try to make it fewer larger tasks then it starts to feel insurmountable. i was completely lost on how to deal with this (other than avoid until you get that panic attack and can do work in the post-catharsis calm until 6:00 AM) until one night when my dad (who i often meet late at night due to overlapping mental illness symptoms) asked me how to eat an elephant. i looked at him, confused, and he said "one bite at a time." that was way more effective than any other analogy i've seen has been. "light at the end of a tunnel"- i don't feel like i'm moving forward, i feel like i'm scaling a wall. "steps on a trail"- i can see my destination, but it feels impossible to move forward. but eating an elephant? that sums it up perfectly. this huge task which seems impossible at a glance. but it must be done. so you eat the elephant, a bite at a time. every time i'm overwhelmed i repeat that phrase to myself. it hasn't made any major changes yet, but it keeps me calm enough to start before i hit the panic attack, which i'll take.

i was such a perfectionist growing up- i actually thought it was a good thing (school always taught me to strive for perfection). but it made me scared to try new things- if i wasn't immediately good at them, then it clearly wasn't for me. i'm still not great at starting new hobbies, but i try a lot of new things within the hobbies i already have. i test out different ways of making art, i try new puzzle games i don't understand, etc. and the feeling of steady improvement reminds me that i don't need to be good right away. some of the most satisfying moments don't come from immediately being good- they come from achieving that skill over time. i'd like to try to learn to sew soon.

idk it's interesting. i rewire my own brain's fear response by doing the Horrifying Thing enough times for me to understand that no i will not die. and while i'm doing it it feels like nothing is changing. i get so stressed every time- it can actually take a lot out of me (turns out fight-or-flight burns a lot of energy). but i look back at then vs. now and i realize how far i've come, and i can't help but think "huh. neat"

#marzi speaks #this post has no point. i am simply thinking out loud #i think understanding the root of where the anxiety comes from helps a lot too #like. my mom feels most secure when she's in control #she doesn't like situations in which she can't control how she responds or what happens when she does #it makes her feel helpless. and that's how her GAD affects her #it's also why her fear response is 'fight'- she stress-cleans and expresses authority because those are things she can control #it's a self-soothing technique #but for me it's different. i'm most at ease when i know where i am and what's going on #this could be for plenty of reasons. i'm bad at directions and time blind so i feel lost easily #i had to learn to do a lot of things by myself growing up because my brother needed a bit of extra attention #my parents used to sometimes forget to tell me about things- i wouldn't know we were going somewhere until they asked me if i was ready #or even just that i was always surrounded by so much information and i love learning with my whole heart #when i can't know what will happen next or why something's happening in the first place i get disoriented and frightened #i don't need to have a say in what will happen. i just need to know. then i can roll with the punches #this is why MY fear responses are flight and freeze #i self-isolate because i know environments like my room and my mind #other people are unpredictable. i know what i will do #i like puzzles because they're something i can learn and figure out. once i understand it's a matter of patterns #and they take my mind off of the unknown i'm worried about #my mom will engage in a lot of conflict behavior. i engage in a lot of avoidant behavior #yes this caused arguments growing up lmao. i'd be freaking out abt smth and she'd be confused as to why i wasn't just going and fixing it #or she'd be freaking out abt smth and i'd be confused as to why she didn't try to just get all the facts #but we're better communicators abt that now teehee #it's interesting though. we have the same illness (generalized anxiety disorder) and are similar in a lot of ways #but because our root fears are different our responses to them are different #this could also be learned #my mom grew up poor and didn't get to do a lot- she worked her ass off to have financial freedom #i grew up comfortable with every question i asked entertained by two very smart parents. when a question can't be answered i feel dissonant #it's probably a bit of both in some cyclical manner. still nifty to think about

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symphorine · 1 month

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#personal #i was like. already being gloomy lol thinking god i wish i could be a normal fucking person #talk to and message ppl and form and maintain friendships and know what to fucking say #and then i realized. even if i finally understood how it works and how to do thay. chronic fatigue means #i am literally unable to sustain the effort it would need. i cant do it. i cant reach the aspect of normalcy i desperately want #im already so close to my limit. i owe several people very overdue replies. and i want to talk to them! but. energy #and now im just sad. forget the autism the depression the chronic pain. the fatigue is what's worst for everything #i can never function to the level normal people can ever. i thought maybe the realisation would be a relief but #im just sad and frustrated and it sucks it just sucks #i want to make friends i want to fight that yawning pit of loneliness that i cant shake but i literally cannot #i dont understand what i have to do to matter enough to other ppl that they see me as a friend. idk how to interact with people naturally #its all learned its all painstakingly learned and built patterns and now i cant even try to learn more. im too fucking tired

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franeridan · 11 months

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man I just !!!!!!!! ADORE comics they're a whole pain in the ass to make and I curse my way through the process 90% of the time but there was really no other way for me to tell stories like there was really no other path nothing makes me as happy as a well crafted comic not even good animation there's no better format than comics for me

#im not saying they're the best format objectively I'm saying a good comic sends me into outer space always #and the range is so wide because anyone and everyone can write a comic #i don't remember who it was but a mangaka for sure #that said they write comics because they're not good enough at drawing for illustration work #and not good enough at writing for writing a book #was it the szs author in kakushigoto? maybe?#but that's TRUE the comic format is forgiving more than most others when telling a story #because a lot of the times people will just breeze through them without giving the craft too much thought #so anyone can make a decent comic which meand that anyone Does #and that means in turn that sometimes you forget that some people #some people are GOOD at comics #they're EXCELLENT at comics #and then you read a very very VERY good comic #I #I read a very very VERY good comic #and suddenly I'm like this is the only format ever #because it's true you don't need to be good at much to write a comic but an exceptional comic artist has to be #SO GOOD #at composition and simplification and understanding the medium they're using #comics give you so much freedom to do what you want which means you can actually fuck it up extremely easily #I don't know how to explain it any better but comics are insane to me #and through my life I've always wanted to tell stories and to tell you the truth I'm way better at writing than i am at drawing #it comes easier to me the process just goes smoother #so i thought maybe i should write a book instead so many times #but no way man no way #there was no way I was ever not gonna try making comics even if i have to suffer my way through them #i love comics SO MUCH #bro #so damn much

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nerdie-faerie · 1 year

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Been feeling very on top of my shit these last two weeks so of course that's when my mum wants to crack down on my lack of socialising. Ma'am I'm going to uni and focusing on myself right now, let's not get ahead of ourselves

#personal #+Extra #mother i dont have any friends in this city okay? they all live elsewhere but i get along with my classmates and im civil with my flatmates #lets focus on the positives aight? my damn extroverted mum and brother do not understand how i can be a uni student and not spend all my #time drinking and thats exactly why they didnt go to uni had serious relationships at my age while im sat in my room tryna remember to text #people back and to drink enough water at the same time but unfortunately i got limited mental space and never learned how to juggle #shes being very insistent about my lack of social life lately maam with what friends & what funds am i meant to be doing this socialising?#tbf i do kinda forget that other things exist outside of my flat sometimes i spend too much time in my lil box but she doesnt need to know

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marypsue · 1 year

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I had been thinking about rereading the road goes ever on to make a list of all the movie references I put in (which is coming shortly). The conversation I had on here (with possibly two different anons?) about how I wished I’d had more time to develop the final chapter and whether I’d go back and make edits to that chapter now that it’s published lit a fire under me to actually do that reread. I finished it tonight, and discovered that, now that I’ve got enough distance from the fic to read it more from the perspective of a reader than from the perspective of a writer working on editing a WIP, there’s really only one thing about the final chapter that I’d actually want to change:

I never put a scene in the epilogue that shows that Kali’s still occasionally posing as Conners and working (possibly with Owens’ help) to sabotage any further attempts by the government to keep the whole ‘kidnapping psychics’ thing going or to open a new Gate.

#listen i TOLD you guys i cannot shut up about this fic #and yeah I was being too self-critical. I was too close to the fic and dwelling too much.#the final chapter is solid and it does what I wanted it to do. the ending is satisfying. the one thing I thought was a minor continuity erro #is actually dealt with in an earlier scene! I fixed it and then forget I'd fixed it!#the fic is good! the mystery is well-constructed! it did a number of things I'm very proud of!#and I need to remember those things instead of just dwelling on how it felt when I was trapped in editing hell #because nobody else was there in editing hell with me! and now it's Out of editing hell! and it actually came out looking pretty damn good!#the fic is good and I feel good about it. and I will try to keep that in mind the next time I feel like undercutting my own work #anyway thank u anon(s?) from whenever that was and also I'm sorry for being a wet hen #(I also never put a scene in the epilogue that showed Kali going back to her crew with her new understanding about relying on people #and that they weren't trying to mutiny against her they were trying to PROTECT her because that's what families do)#(if I were to go back to it i'd add those two scenes and not make a single other change)#(actually on reflection those might be just two elements of one scene.)

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alphalesbian · 4 months

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#saying this to loose this into the world:#i am done pretending to not understand why things stay so decent and sweet and lovingly for me #in regards to specifically: A lot but my family and my past ad my traumas and my friends lost and gained and many other things truly #and in that i need to internalize:#There Is A Reason One Of The Only People Im Closest Too And I Would Uncritically Gauge as One Of The Most Emotionally Physically Spirituall #Mature People Ive Ever Had The Pleasure To Call A Close Friend Is Among The Two People In This World Who Listen To And Head By And Criticiz #My Advice #its like people stopped fucking me around for a reason! ! ! ! ! and i forget that then i get fucked around with and its different this time #its just like. goodbye lmao ! you are not for me!

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inkskinned · 1 year

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it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.

anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."

just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.

i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.

when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.

but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.

i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?

most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.

now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.

and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.

go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.

#something something toxic relationships notwithstanding #(re: the friends stuff)#most people love you. automatically. for being alive. like people are just MADE that way.#and the reason kms jokes don't always land is bc people fucking love you and are like - ahhh how do i help #let them help you!!!!!!

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