Thank-you doodles for Donations
-Edit! Updating the pictures again for some different styles and characters! Also to feature some of my favourite stupid doodles-
If you happen to be making a donation to any charitable cause helping get food, water and medical aid into Palestine right now - send me a screenshot of a receipt with a request (separate messages if you want for privacy) and I can offer you... a crummy doodle to say thanks for donating?
Details under cut 🤷
I'll do my earnest best to do whatever you asked for, excluding anything nsfw or anything ship-ish where any party is, like, a kid, but including any O.C.s providing you send me a link to a reference, description or a picrew.
I'm a beginner and I have a full time job, so I'm not making promises for the quality - you can see from the collage above what we're working with here! However, I have no pride and there is no prompt too silly for me to attempt.
No minimum and no scaling complexity for increased donation - I'm doing this to celebrate your generosity, it's not a commission!
Can be anonymous, or private-message respond, I really don't mind.
Any verifiable charity donation is fine - I encourage you to donate through the channels that maximise the effect of your money. For example, some places of work have donation-match schemes for selected charities, and depending on your country of origin you may be able to deduct tax on your donations to particular organisations, which might help you donate. We're all working with what we've got in a cost of living crisis - definitely worth seeing if you can make your donations go a bit further with government topups!
Everything feels really quite hopeless right now, I'm doing this selfishly because I want to see donations happening and to gas them up a bit.
Oh! And if you have a pet, my birthday is April 29th. I'd love to see them just being themselves. That's what I'm asking for on the day from everyone else.
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I do love that canonically Alan Wake is an asshole with a famously bad temper who parties too hard and gets arrested for assaulting paparazzi but who everyone thinks is very cool and hot because it means the jazzy dance solo on Mr Door's show is 100% true to character, but also because it means when Tom Zane shows him the clips of them partying it up together, the discerning fan may say "Well, Tom, you must be trying to deceive me! that is clearly Mr Scratch doing his silly little freak dance like in Alan Wake's American Nightmare," but I, an even more discerning fan, am here to tell you that Alan is a smart guy ok he wasn't deceived bc of the absurdity, he was deceived bc of the fact that yeah he would absolutely 1000% do that lmao
You think the sad confused terrified fella wandering around in the rain is the real alan wake? that guy ain't shit, he can't remember anything. he's a pale imitation. the TRUE alan wake, as he was before coming into contact with the dark presence, is on the surreal dreamscape talk show circuit talking shit about the movie adaptation of his old books right in front of the star of those movies.
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Immortality, Motherhood, and Pain: A Closer Look at Annalise and the Doll
Finally revisiting this from ages ago, because the parallels between these two are just SO fascinating. Content warnings for discussions of misogyny, genocide, abuse, and pregnancy/childbirth.
This analysis will cover the parallels between Miss Doll and Queen Annalise through the lenses of the misery of immortality, the trauma of marginalization, and the liberation they find in motherhood. Both the Doll and Annalise are undying, both coded as mother figures, both marked by death, and both very, very alone.
Miss doll and Annalise are the only characters in the whole game who are undying. You can kill them, but not meaningfully - not in any way that matters - and they seem to know it. Neither will try to stop you, nor will they fight back, should you choose to attack them. They will come back, and your violent betrayal will have seemingly meant nothing to them. They both are very aware they will outlast whatever violence you may inflict upon them. It's evidenced in their dialogue:
If you attack, Annalise says:
“Enough. If only Our life was so easily forfeit… Grieve not, for Us.”
“How sad this is. If only Our life was so easily forfeit…”
If you attack Miss Doll, she used to say:
“I must have displeased you. Go on, shut me down… Even so, this vessel will remain in your service… So have no fear."
I think this point of comparison highlights just how deeply they've both been desensitized to violence and abuse. They do not beg for mercy, they do not put up a struggle - they only remark on it with distant chagrin. They both seem keenly aware that their flesh need not be in one piece to fulfill its purpose.
But where Miss Doll was made to embody the Victorian patriarchal ideal of womanhood, Annalise wields womanhood as her last weapon against the dehumanization of the church’s genocide through her queendom. Upon being resurrected the next time you return to the dream, Miss Doll will act as though nothing had happened at all. However, if you bring her flesh to the Altar of Despair, Annalise will call you an arrant fool, and remind you that “Vileblood or no, forget not; We are thy Queen”. Miss Doll kneels to serve the hunter, while the hunter must kneel to serve Annalise. Miss Doll has been conditioned to passively accept dehumanization and submission, yet Annalise demands respect through your submission even in her dehumanized state. Miss Doll is subjugated by the trappings of womanhood, while Annalise is lifted from subjugation by her womanhood, in some ways.
I find this fascinating, however, because while Miss Doll appears in every way as a pure, demure Victorian woman was meant to, they are also dehumanized through the denial of gender. To Gerhman, their creator, they are nothing more than another tool of the workshop. An object. Even the Doll themself uses neutral "I" pronouns to refer to themself in the original translation. I think it is pertinent to note that the only canonical reference to Miss Doll as a "woman" comes from Eileen. In the original Japanese text, she refers to the Doll with a term of endearment reserved for young girls. Miss Doll's appearance is the historical ideal of the subjugated woman - yet when Eileen confers upon her the status of "woman", she does so in an endearing and humanizing way. Therefore, for both Miss Doll and Queen Annalise, the status of womanhood is a rebuttal of their own dehumanizing subjugation: Annalise as "queen", and Miss Doll as "daughter".
Both characters are arguably seeking/find liberation through motherhood. Miss Doll gets "Childhood's Beginning": their creator and animator have both been put down, the hunt is finally over and they are no longer bound to serve its participants, nor must they watch their beheadings. They cradle the newly ascended hunter. It is a highly atypical “motherhood”. It exists in the performance of the role rather than the biology of childbirth. In the same way, the Doll possesses a highly atypical “womanhood” which exists in performance alone, rather than in biology or even identity — but nonetheless, it is real, and it is hers. I, perhaps too optimistically, choose read it as humanizing for them; because unlike their “womanhood”, Miss Doll is allowed to choose this for themself rather than having it imposed upon them.
In the same vein, Annalise seeks to birth a child of blood for a similar but perhaps more somber reason. She wants a child because she wants an heir — which is to say, because it is the only way she may once again have kin. Because it is the only way she may fulfill her duty as Queen. She witnessed everyone she ever knew or loved — surely her own family included — slaughtered before her eyes. Annalise seems to seek motherhood in order to be a homemaker - in the most literal sense possible. She wants to rebuild the community, the home, which was so brutally torn away from her. She wishes to restore honor to Cainhurst. For Annalise, having a child is an open act of rebellion against the genocidal eugenics-frenzied bloodthirst of the Church. I can't help but wonder if part of the reason Alfred is so hellbet on destroying her, why the Executioners imprisoned her the way they did, was to strip her of bodily autonomy so she couldn’t “reproduce”. Her desire for a child is her way of seeking liberation for her and her people.
In this sense, taking up the role of a mother, of "women's work", is what confers the agency upon both Annalise and Miss Doll which had been otherwise stripped from them. Annalise's by the genocidal eugenics of the Church, and Miss Doll by the pact of servitude she was seemingly born into.
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saw a theory post that ommited cruicial things to get to a conclusion that pissed me off anyway i say this with all the federation worker jaiden theorycrafting in my heart but jaiden was not implied to be an s rank worker through her train ticket 😭
the -s on it doesnt imply a rank otherwise litteraly no one elses ticket code makes any sense. not to mention cucurucho had usually spoken to them like their numbers at the bottom right were identifiers, not the letter. id imagine this was for some sort of enigma that wasnt solved, and since not everybody showed their tickets in streams and videos, we probably will never get the full picture of what it meant.
i think theres enough credence to the idea that jaiden worked for the feds that theres no need to make up reasons, yknow.
(also just as an end note i believe in my kokoro that s rank workers were only invented in lore recently tbh because they arnt a huge secret lower workers cant know about so why would the handful of reliable sources that talked about worker ranks before elana was introduced just. not bring s ranks up.)
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primal fear thoughts
the thing about primal fear is it sets itself up for so much moral ambiguity... but in the last scene, the line about killing Laura — it takes it all away. Okay, Roy, Aaron whatever, is a gleeful murderer and murdered not just the priest (who deserved it) but his fellow victim. The moral ambiguity is lost to stick it to Vail.
Which is like, I guess that works. But is it not more interesting to keep it on the note where: yes, he lied. Yes, he's not so innocent and perfect. Yes, he murdered the priest. But does that mean he deserves the death penalty that was set up for him? In the eyes of the law its wrong, but is that itself wrong? The fact that the discovery of his sexual abuse was a negative, something that condemned him rather than the reverend; is there not something wrong about that? Of course supposedly in those cases things should go through the proper channels, but as the movie itself illustrates, these men often face no consequences by the law.
I don't know. I find that more interesting. Especially as it would interweave with Vail's own sense of righteousness in representing his golden hearted sleazebags; they're sleazebags, but he proves them not to be, by getting them off in court as they deserve, right? He's able to just... make the moral and legal rights align. Isn't that nice. And he did here too, but not knowingly, and the legal right is false. Does he still believe in innocence when it's not legally ordained, even when the corruption and flaws of the system are what pushed him out of his job in the state office?
So idk, I find that a lot more worthwhile. If I do anything with Primal Fear you can assume I'm treating this as a version of the story where the Laura murder comment is in some way either not real or fake. Maybe Aaron says it to get Vail to fuck off. After all, he saw what happened the last time a man offered him so much for free. Etc. Don't think I mean to retcon Aaron being much more violent, abrasive, etc, either. I don't. But the pointless murder which only serves to stick it to Vail's savior complex but also dunk on his belief in goodness or whatever? Nah, I'll pass. I want a better story than that, and it set itself up for a damn good one. Even within the story presented to us... It's not completely offbase of an assumption, I think. There's no evidence he's telling the truth then any more than any other time he's bullshitted to Marty. Of course, you know due to author's intent that that's supposed to be true. But, well, I suppose it's death of the author.
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Propius saltat et bracchiae circum Roier’s collum involvit.
“Ego sum laetissimus, formosulus,” he murmurit, osculari eius genae. Roier trahit eum prope, tadant eorum moti in dicio tam ponet eius mani in Cellbit coxarum supra.
“Tu estne laetus? Homosexualis et laetus, catulus?”
Cellbit iacit eius caput ridere et Roier torquent eos. “Homosexualis et laetus, formosulus.
quid??? quid est??? estne translationis de @atthebell's put to mind of all that i wanna be in lingua latina? ita! verum est!
in all srs, i've not really been in a super creative mood lately, and there's been a lot of issues with my own writing process. i decided to do a bit of translation for fun and to ease into writing again! hope that this satisfies the needs of the one other person in the qsmp fandom looking to read fanfic in latin!
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