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autisticangus · 3 years

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anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt.

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him.

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident.

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

#angus.txt #getting deep in here but it felt good to write #i love u all so much ok pls be good urselves

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zettaiunmeis · 4 years

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zamaya 4 the ship questions?

So... this is late af,,, im sorry?

Who said “I love you” first

Zari. When they start their relationship, zari’s kinda the nervous one. shes not good w feelings and shes pretty inexperienced with romance, and in general, shes not particularly the kind of person whod be well equipped to deal with the l-bomb and amaya knows this. so even though amaya has always felt that pull between them, something that even the connection between their totems couldnt fully explain, she doesnt say anything, even though shes loved zari almost as long as shes known her. but as their relationship progresses, zari becomes more confident in herself, in her own ability to process feelings, in her own capability to be an adequate romantic partner, but amaya still... she isnt sure. she knows zari is more confident, understands that shes in a better place, emotionally, than before, but shes still afraid that saying i love you too soon will scare zari away, so she keeps it to herself, even as zari starts working up the courage to tell amaya she loves her. and like, since this is zamaya, i feel zari’ll end up saying i love you over something small but meaningful? like, idk maybe right before they go to sleep, when both of them are like half asleep and then amaya wakes up in the middle of the night like, wait a minute did she jus- and then she shakes zari awake and in the midst of zaris complaints about being woken up, she almost yells i love you too. and zari, still sleeping, is just like, neat. and then she’ll wake up the next morning and fucking kick herself because amaya just told me she loved me and i fucking said neat

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

Both. In 2042, taking pictures could be a safety hazard -- if you lost it or if your camera was hacked, someone might be able to use the information in it to target you or the people you care about -- so Zari never really had the opportunity to have a picture of her family as her background or anything. So, when Zari joins the legends, she gets Gideon to help her get some surveillance shots that were taken of her and her brother by ARGUS drones to set as her phone’s background. But after she gets together with Amaya and sort of deals with her issues (thanks to the Bureau issued therapist that Ava recommended they go to), she decides to change the background to a picture she has of Amaya at the very top of a 1960s ferris wheel, bathed by the light of a sunset. And the next week she changes it to a picture of Amaya laughing at something Nate says while they’re all getting ready in the fabrication room. And then she changes it again and again basically once a week because she finds herself taking as many pictures as she can of everyone she cares about -- just in case -- and that means an abundance of pictures of Amaya.

When she finds out that no-one ever really taught Amaya to chance the background of her phone screen (it wasn’t intentional -- Nate meant to teach her but Constantine challenged him to a naked yoga contest and he had to accept), she takes it upon herself to do so and takes a silly selfie of the two of them on Amaya’s phone and sets it to the background. Amaya doesn’t really change hers. She likes that particular photograph because Zari is smiling widely in it, and she looks so??? happy????

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

Zari. she wakes up about forty minutes after amaya tries -- and fails -- to wake her up before going for her hour long run/training with sara, and she just goes and gets ready. but she does timing stuff so that she ends up leaving the bathroom around five minutes before amaya gets back, and she leaves messages in the fog bc she knows amaya loves seeing them

Who buys the other cheesy gifts

Zari. Again, this comes down to the fact that zari just didn’t grow up with a lot of material possessions, so its like, she wants to spoil her gf and shower her with presents and stuff.

Who initiated the first kiss

Amaya. Idk what id go with for the first kiss for these two, but like,,, whatever scenario it is, i feel like at the beginning of their relationship zari’s the one whos like “but does she like me?” when amaya is literally asking if she can kiss her (consent is sexy babes) so, amaya sort of ends up initiating the first kiss through zaris gay obliviousness

Who kisses the other awake in the morning

Amaya. Shes the early to rise type, and zaris the fuck that sunshine shit type, and that means that amaya spends about ten minutes every morning trying to wake up zari before she goes on her daily run (which, when they’re on the ship, equates to going to the lab/gym/jail cell room thing (rlly what the fuck iS that room?)) before giving up and leaving for her hour long morning workout with sara. but that “try to wake up zari” routine doeS, in fact, involve copious amounts of kisses.

Who starts tickle fights

Zari. Amaya isn’t great at most video games, but after Zari starts teaching her, she has these spurts of like,,, extra luck! and stuff like that. so whenever amaya’s winning, zari will drop her controller and start tickling her and amaya will start protesting between laughs that itS!!! UNSPORTSMANLIKE!!!! and zari will kiss her and then the tickle fight will.... no longer be a tickle fight.

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

Amaya… but only sometimes. like, sometimes, she’ll get back from her run/workout a bit earlier than usual, so those times, shell go and knock on the bathroom door and most of those days, zari will complain for an hour about how her hands are now wrinkly and soft and how it makes practicing the violin so!!! much!!! harder!!!!

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

Amaya. She really likes cooking and baking and stuff, and zaris the kind of person who goes and sits at her computer with like,,, a party size bag of chips and finishes them all off in an hour and wishes she got something more, but is too involved in her work to want to like,,, physically? get up and get them? and amaya knows this so she’ll make something amazingly good and like, stand at the door while zari is working so she can drag her out for lunch bc otherwise zaRI YOULL STARVE

Who was nervous and shy on the first date

Zari. She’s never really? Done this whole... romance thing. Like has she liked ppl? Yes. Has she ever acted on her crushes? hA HA HA. So she kind of feels lowkey inexperienced compared to amaya, and she tries to hide it, but its clear shes feeling a bit insecure abt everything.

Who kills/takes out the spiders

AMAYA. Shes an animal goddess so she doesnt even have to take it out. She just sort of says “hey would you mind moving so i can get to the flour?” and its just.... does? meanwhile, zari, a vigilante with avatar powers, whos looked into the face of evil fairy godmothers and lived to tell the tale, is cowering in the background, telling amaya to “gET RID OF IT, BABE, IM BEGGING”

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

Zari doesn’t drink, so I guess Amaya, but she doesn’t get drunk very often so. Its mostly just the two of them cuddling and laughing while the rest of the team gets drunk off their asses and starts doing stupid shit. Zari films everyone else tho lmao, and she gets Gideon to play the video of their antics at the highest possible volume while they all file into the galley with hangovers at the next mealtime

#legends of tomorrow #zari tomaz #amaya jiwe #Zamaya #amari #Zari x Amaya #asks #send me asks #hi i love them #these are my emotional support wlw ships

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aegissi · 5 years

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my bts concert experience in bullet points

this is gonna be long!!!

namjoon looked so good. litcherally. i was ready to risk it all for him. seeing him on screen during the first song (it was dionysus) felt like getting hit by a train.

speaking of dionysus,,, everyone looked really hot so i was very flustered sgjfvdgb (especially namjoon. especially him.)

hobi was sooo cute during wings like he did a liddle flying move it was adorable

just dance was such a fun stage!!!! hobi is so charismatic and he sounded amazing too (he kinda sounded very nasal at the beginning but it stopped after a few moments) the part with the water cannons was awesome btw

jungkook was so smiley!!!!! he was adorable during euphoria and he looked so happy :((( not to mention that he also sounded so clear so stable and so good (and during the last chorus he was like “sing it!!!!” and when he got back on the stage he did a cute walk as if he was on a school trip ssgjfbhkdn)

taehyung had no business looking that good during best of me. thats all i can remember from this song.

jimin sounded kinda weird at the beginning of serendipity (my friend thought that there was something wrong with the mic) like his voice was way too high?? but it was fine for the rest of the song so idk that was random ghhdgfhdb the dancing was perfect btw he was both delicate and powerful (and during the whole concert he was the one i noticed the most bc he had sm energy and he executed every move flawlessly) the whole stage was so pretty with the bubbles and all

trivia love was so good!!!! namjoon is an amazing performer and i loved all the hearts they put on the screens too that was really cute (it was written “je t’aime paris” at the end of the song,, that was a nice little touch)

they looked like they had sm fun during boy with luv (and at the end jk changed his love sign to a finger heart but he couldnt find the right camera it was cute)

taehyung said some words in french (i could only hear fantastique bc of all the screaming) and then he asked how his french was (we all yelled that it was good ofc) and then i think that jin said “you’re killing it” but im not sure shvfjgbk jungkook started singing champs élysées and his pronunciation was pretty good imo

jungkook put the rose from boy with luv behind his ear :(((

the whole dope/fire/baepsae medley was so fun (and yeah hobi did the splits and hip thrusted in our faces,,,, namjoon too)

jimin sounded the best during idol imo (with jin ofc)

singularity was a whole religious experience. the audience audibly gasped when taehyung opened his eyes in that bed like. he was so sultry and it felt like i was being hypnotised. that performance was perfect on all levels (and i loved the effects they put on the screen where he was split in red and in blue) icb i had the honor of witnessing that,,, he looked so mesmerising on the screen im still not over this (in general he looked divine everytime he was on screen,,, the charisma,,,,, the presence,,,,,, the aura,,,,,,,,and he looked absolutely adorable when he smiled)

the fake love outfits. incredible. never been done before. extraordinary. fantastique, as taehyung would say

yoongi’s voice sounded higher than i thought it would during seesaw (during the whole concert actually sjfhbkgb even when he talked??) he looked very pretty but it was personally the solo stage i liked the least :// like he didn’t make any mistakes and he sounded good when he sang but it had less impact than the others to me???

EPIPHANY!!!!!! jin sounded perfect and he wore glasses and i almost died. epiphany is better live than on the album imo,,, i just wish armys would have stayed QUIET!!!!!! they almost sang the whole song like bitch i payed to listen to jin not u!!!!!!! anyway jin was so stable and the background made him look like an angel (which he is) and his last adlibs were *chef kiss*

vocal line was perfect during the truth untold but i wish armys would have just,,,shut up svdbjg like this is a ballad?? why r u yelling??? why r u singing over the professional singers??? i kinda wanted to actually hear jungkook sing the “but i still want u” part???? anyway jimin and jk were in full vocal kings mode at the end it was amazing i’ll never get sick of this song (and taehyung’s voice is a gift, truly,,, jin too ofc) also the outfits were so good pls give the styling team a raise they litcherally looked like princes

TEAR WAS SO FUCKING GOOD OMG SGHVJHBGKJBKDJ okay so first off the effects they put on the screen with the green things were so fucking cool and rap line themselvesb too!! namjoon was incredible but hoseok??? mistre jung????????? in that dior outfit?????????????? his stage presence is unmatched. to be more detailed, namjoon sounded better live and had sm energy and hobi too (his part at the end... i am deceased) but i kinda felt like yoongi was a bit off? he was good ofc but idk it seemed to me that he had less energy than the other two (he was probably just tired or sick idk this is not me saying that he sucks ofc)

i didn’t film anything for mic drop so i enjoyed it to the fullest hehe it was awesome (especially hobi’s part)

jin wore a cap during the encore. it was great.

anpanman was cute!!! i have to say that i was barely focusing on the song i was just looking at the bangtans playing around on those bouncy things and they looked really happy

my tits were almost out during so what bc i was jumping too much it’s definitely a song u have to see live

im pretty sure they made us do a wave twice so that jimin could count to three in french and that tae could say “magnifique” afterwards (the army bombs became a rainbow too it was beautiful)

it was difficult to hear them during the ments sometimes bc everybody was screaming :///

they kept saying that they would come next year

jk said “je n’oublierai jamais tous mes souvenirs avec vous” (i’ll never forget all my memories with u) it was very sweet and then he said smth with “pour toujours” (forever) at the end but i didnt catch the beginning of his sentence

jin, tae and yoongi imitated all the people who were trampling on the bleachers (those fans were so loud and did this shit at the randomest times....)

taehyung said his pronunciation wasn’t good but that he prepared a few sentences in french and then he said “paris si vous aimez pouvez vous nous dire (?) l’année dernière était comme (?) pouvez-vous nous (?) s’il vous plaît? j’aime vraiment paris. je n’oublierai pas (?)” (paris if you like can you say (?) last year was like (?) could you (?) please? I really love paris. I won’t forget (?)... and at the end i think he asked us if we would come next year but im not sure bc people were screaming at some points) and he ended by saying i love you in korean and he teared up :((( it was so sweet of him to prepare all of this!!!

jimin talked for a while (in korean instead of french bc he wanted us to feel his sincerity) abt how during this tour he realised that he was really happy being around his members, the staff and the fans and that he genuinely hoped that we were too and that happiness was right next to us (and that he hoped that bts was in that happiness too) and he also thanked us several times and said i love u,,, he’s a sweetheart :((

hobi said that he prepared stuff in french even tho he wasn’t confident and said “aujourd’hui c’est la meilleure nuit de notre tour (?) on a terminé notre tour sans accident et ça nous a permis de sentir à quel point vous nous aimez (?) vous êtes vraiment notre espoir, merci d’avoir passé un bon temps avec nous, je vous aime, merci beaucoup” (today is the last night of our tour (?) we finished our tour without any accident and it allowed us to feel how much u love us (?) u guys are really our hope, thank u for spending a good time with us, i love u, thank u sm) im sorry i missed some words bc i genuinely can’t understand what he said shgvdjf other than that his pronunciation was good and it’s so sweet that he prepared all that,,, he looked kinda nervous but he smiled a lot and i think he was actually reading from the prompter??

namjoon said “do u know why paris is always the last date? bc u guys are the damn best (개짱)” but the interpret omitted the damn sjfdghk he also said “on se revoit très bientôt i love u” (let’s see each other very soon) and “paris est la ville des lumières” (paris is the city of lights) after making us take out our phones with the flash lights and then it transitioned right to mikrokosmos,, that was litcherally poetic cinema

other random things i remember: taehyung was in a really good mood (everyone actually, they were playing around a lot), hobi’s smile is so sunshiney, they poured water on each other a lot during encore (i watched jin sneaking up behind namjoon and spraying him sgfvjd they also watered jimin), there were some points where the mic quality wasn’t that good? idk maybe i just imagined it, i absolutely love how they used the screens it really added to the concert’s visuals, jin did a flying kiss during the first ment, jungkook went to the audience at the end but i was focusing on jin so i only realised he did that when jin was like “jungkook-ah” sjvfhjdgbkj, they weren’t extremely synchonized when dancing but they have great energy so it still looked good and overall i really enjoyed myself (me n my friend were ready to fight that one girl who kept screeching stuff at jungkook at random times tho,,,, icb she yelled shit at him during the truth untold like have some respect???)

#this was so long svkjgl #thank u if u read this entirely #i wrote it while watching the vids me n my friend filmed #anyway i have no regrets buying those tickets #im glad this was my first concert ever #it was too short tho!!!!#and i wish they added spring day to the setlist #bts #youmi.txt

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equalstrashflavoredtrash · 5 years

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To Make a Mess

a/n: This fic has been a long time coming. I started it last spring and promptly forgot abt it, then, this fall, I had an idea and so i went back to it. Then when i was three quarters of the way done, my dog died and i had to attend my grandmother’s funeral... That put me through a loop and i couldnt write. BUT i’ve working on getting back into it and like, yeah, making my self sit down and edit has been like pulling teeth, BUT ITS DONE! Please enjoy this very self indulgent story. Also i og meant for this to be maybe 800 words but by the time i finished it was over 3k... (sorry, i just get carried away with details)

warnings: Sexy times! this is indulgent smut

FF.net // Ao3 // Masterlist

modern!Ubbe X Reader // Vikings

word count: 3,826

(shout out to @laketaj24 for making this gif for me!)

“Do you mind if Hvitserk comes over to pregame, too?” your roommate asked, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the counter as you checked the boiling kettle on the stove.

“Hvitserk?” you replied, clicking the knob to lower the heat. “Yeah that’s fine, I like him. As long as he doesn’t eat all our food again.”

“Don’t worry. He says he’s bringing pizzas,” she paused, looking back to her phone after the message chime went off. “And his brother.”

“The moody one with long hair?” you questioned, trying a little too hard to sound aloof and uninterested in the subject.

“No, Ubbe, the older one with the beard who you couldn’t keep your eyes off of last time,” she teased with a wink while standing up and heading down the hall.

“What—No! It wasn’t like that— I didn't!” you sputtered as she called over her shoulder about taking a quick shower before everyone arrived, leaving you to finish making tea.

Unbeknownst to you, the subject of your crush on Hvitserk’s brother had been a topic of discussion between him and your roommate long before they arrived. Your roommate had a knack for playing matchmaker and had conferred with Hvitserk on how best to set up the pair of you. She was well aware of your inclination to be a recluse and he agreed the best plan of action was a small get-together at your apartment.

A few hours later the couches were populated with a random assortment of acquaintances, each holding their own drink as everyone chatted and a blunt made the rounds. You were in the recliner next to the love seat with your feet tucked underneath you, listening to some girl you didn't know ramble on about her shitty psychology teacher. Though you were vaguely familiar with the majority of the guests, they were all more your roommate's friends than yours.

Hvitserk was across the room waxing on about some adventure he’d had last Wednesday, holding the attention of those around him, as his brother sat quietly beside him picking at the label on his bottle. You spied out of corner of your eye as Ubbe occasionally added his two cents, giving validity to the more grandiose parts of Hvitserk’s story, but ultimately looking just as bored as you felt.

Eventually you excused yourself to get a fresh beer when your roommate gently nudged Ubbe’s foot underneath the coffee table. He gave her a confused look before his eyes followed the quick jerk of her head as you walked past and into the empty kitchen. All evening, she had been studying the way you and Ubbe shared surreptitious glances whenever the other wasn’t looking. She tried to hide her smile, excited that her plan seemed to be working as he rose from his seat to follow.

You gathered a cold drink from fridge, twisting off the cap as you took in the scene of counters before you. The pizzas Hvitserk brought were inhaled by the guests, leaving in their wake a mess of paper plates and napkins. Collecting a few bits of discarded trash, you began to tidy up when someone cleared their throat behind you.

“Hey,” Ubbe said as you turned around. You could feel the heat creeping into your cheeks as you took in his slightly lopsided smirk. His blue eyes seemed to glow as he watched you awkwardly shuffle to the trashcan in the corner.

“Hi,” you mumbled in response, your fingers nervously playing with the loose hairs at the back of your neck.

“I was just gunna get a new beer,” he explained, shaking the bottle he held to prove it was in fact empty.

The moment your eyes connected with the green glass you remembered that technically you were a host, and you jumped to act as such. “Here let me—,” you said, hurrying to reach for the fridge just as he did. Ubbe made it to the handle first, wrapping his fingers around it as your palm butted into his knuckles. Instantly you drew your hand away like his touch had burned and stuttered out an apology.

Ubbe chuckled, watching you fidget as he took a swig from the new bottle. “You need one?” he asked, catching your eyes for a second before you looked away again.

“I already have one, it’s—,” you paused scanning the counter for the beverage when you spotted it next to the sink, just behind his hip. Trying to be a bit more bold, you reached forward past his side, grabbing the beer. “It’s just behind you.” His eyes gleamed again as he watched your shy smile, enjoying you so close in his personal space.

“You seem to be having fun tonight,” he offered with a sarcastic scoff, trying to make conversation. You rolled your eyes in response, choosing instead to take a drink. Ubbe laughed at your reaction while carefully bringing his free hand to rest on your hip. You tried to keep your expression even as the tiniest bit of physical contact made your stomach flip.

“No, not really.” While the admission was embarrassing, he merely gave a nonchalant shrug and took a sip. “I usually sit these things out, chilling in my room instead, but I just had to make an appearance tonight,” you joked, imitating your roommate’s voice as you did air quotes with your fingers.

“Well, I’m glad you did.” Ubbe’s words made you flush, flustered by his attention. Your hand flew to the nape of your neck in search of hairs to play with as he tensed his grip and drew you closer to him.

He leaned forward, tipping his head in a way you knew meant he was going in for the kill. Closing your eyes, you prepared yourself for first contact when your roommate’s voice rang out.

Instantly you hopped out of Ubbe’s grasp—trying to look as casual as possible, but you could tell by her smirk it made no difference.

“We’re all gunna head out to a club or bar. Ubbe, you down to join?” She asked, grinning like she already knew the answer.

Ubbe instead turned to look where you now stood, over an arm’s length away. “You’re not going out?”

“Oh, no—,” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze when your roommate interjected.

“She hates crowds, I know not to bother asking,” she explained with a flippant wave her hand as you shot her a grateful smile, glad she’d filled in the awkward silence.

“Well, I’m not in much of a club mood.” Ubbe shrugged as he looked to your roommate who was giving him a knowing grin. “I’ll hang back here, help clean up,” he offered easily enough. You flashed a panicked expression to your roommate but she only winked in response before turning to leave the kitchen.

For a minute you stood awkwardly near Ubbe, shifting your weight from one foot to the other as you tried to think of something to say. Just as you opened your mouth to speak the rest of the party filed through the kitchen and out the front door, bidding the pair of you farewell. Hvitserk brought up the rear of the group, pausing to clap hands with his brother. You watched as he whispered something in Ubbe’s ear that made him both smirk and roll his eyes as he shoved Hvitserk’s shoulder, forcefully ushering him out the door.

Clearing his throat, Ubbe turned around, returning to the counter to gather his drink. You stood there, gnawing on your bottom lip as you watched the way his adam's apple bobbed as he took a gulp of beer.

“So,” Ubbe finally said, his voice a lower grumble than before as he looked down at you, smiling inwardly at your nervous expression. “You know,” he began, side stepping a little bit nearer, grabbing your attention so your eyes lifted to connect with his. “I’ve been thinking all night about what I’d do if I got you alone.”

His brazen comment caught you off guard and in attempt to hide your flustered reaction, you spun on your heel away from him. Hoping the mask the shake of your hands, you picked up an empty pizza box and mumbled something about cleaning the mess

Ubbe’s brows furrowed as he studied your awkward response and body language. Cautiously he caught you elbow as you moved past him towards the garbage. “Hey,” he started, speaking in a softer voice, “I don’t want to do anything you don’t, OK? I’ll leave if you’re not comfortable.”

You took your bottom lip between your teeth again, unaware of the way the small action made his gut flip. Shaking off his grip, you quickly broke down the pizza box so it’d fit in the trash can before facing him again. “I don’t want you to go.” You tugged at the baby hairs behind your head again as you spoke. “I—uh, I’ve been thinking about being alone with you, too.” You gave a shy peek through your eyelashes up at him. Your face burned as you saw his eager expression.

Suddenly you found your mind flooded with images of him and his lips in a wide variety of situations—most of which involved a bed and a lack of clothing.

“Yeah?” he questioned, quirking an eyebrow as he stepped closer while you continued to fidget with your curls more frantically. “Like what?”

“Like, uhm, kissing you?” Any attempt to sound confident was struck once the words left your mouth. You cursed yourself and the waver in your voice, but Ubbe merely chuckled, enamored with your nervous disposition.

“Just kissing?” Slowly he lifted his arm, twirling a loose strand of your hair between his fingers.

“Other things, too.” You added, leaning into his touch as he tucked the stray hair behind your ear.

“Want me to tell you what I've been thinking?” Ubbe offered, letting his hand linger beside your head—his thumb running gently down your cheekbone with his palm cupping your jaw.

You gave a slight shake of your head, watching a confused expression flit across his features as you took a deep breath and confessed, “No, I want you to show me.”

It was your turn to feel an excited flutter in your stomach as his tongue darted out, wetting his lip before he bit down. “How about first, you show me where your bed is?”

Reaching both hands, you wrapped your fingers around his palm at your cheek, backing up as you began to tug him towards your room. You walked backwards, giggling with him at the situation until you reached the short hall off of the living room.

Your room was at the end, awkwardly placed on an angled wall. The landlord mentioned once that this was due to how the house was broken up into apartments, but you never paid much attention to her explanation.

“Welcome,” you mumbled, pulling him across the threshold. Letting go of his hand, you shut the door behind you. Keeping a hold of the knob, you leaned against the paneling and watched him take in the space. “What do you think?”

“It’s nice,” Ubbe replied, bending slightly to duck under the vaulted ceiling. He pulled his cell phone from his back pocket—setting it on your side table—and took a seat at the edge of the mattress. “It’d be better if you were over here,” he added with a wink as he kicked off his sneakers.

Shuffling your feet across the carpet, you approached his outstretched arm. Once you were near enough, he latched his elbow around your waist, jerking you forwards into his lap. You stumbled a bit, landing awkwardly at first—just barely avoiding having your knee crash into his nuts—but then settling with your thighs resting on either side of his. Lifting your hand, you tried to hide your laughter at the nearly Three Stooges-esqe level of slapstick, as he brought his hands to your ribs.

The more you tried to stop laughing the harder it became to stop. You weren't sure if you were laughing more at the situation or at the fact of how much you were laughing. Ubbe chuckled as he watched your face turn red. Stroking his hands along your sides, he helped to stifle your fit, all while admiring the look of unadulterated joy on your face.

After a few deep breaths you were able to speak again. “I’m so sorry,” you began lifting your hands to his shoulders, “I’m just nervous and I almost landed on your balls and I—,”

Ubbe interrupted your rambling apology by crashing his lips against yours. He drew his hand to the back of your neck, holding you in place as he savored the feeling of you against him. Petting at your side, he urged you to melt against him, sinking further into his lap. Swiping his tongue against your lips, he let his hand slide down and cover your ass.

With a sigh you unconsciously rolled your hips against his, searching for friction. His kisses and touch were far better than you imagined. Ubbe groaned with each pass, his hand on your neck dropping to clasp around your hip, drawing you harder against the crotch of his jeans—underneath which you could feel something stiff. Giving a slight whine at the contact with his hard member, you linked your arms around his neck and swirled over him, savoring the way he pressed against your vulva. “Uh-please,” you moaned, desperate for more and only encouraging him to dig his fingers into the soft parts of your flesh.

Letting out a deep rumble from somewhere inside his chest, Ubbe clawed at your t-shirt, anxiously tearing it over your head before sinking forward to latch his mouth over your nipple, ignoring your bra. Once your top was discarded and his hands were free, he scrambled to pull at the lace that covered your breast as you hurried to undo the clasp from behind, hoping he wouldn’t rip your favorite bra. Before you even had the undergarment all the way off, he had both palms on your breast, kneading them together as he took time sucking at both nipples.

Grasping at his wrists, you forced his hands away, pushing him down against your bed. The victory was short lived as he easily countered, rolling over to pin you instead. You gave a symbolic struggle before submitting as his lips once again found yours.

Ubbe paused for a second, pulling his shirt off and beginning to undo his fly until he got distracted by the view of you laying on the bed, topless and waiting for him. Dropping down he met your lips again, rocking against you so your nipples dragged across his chest. He was working himself up, too excited for what was to come, that he was unable to enjoy what was happening now.

Pushing at his shoulders, you backed away trying to bide time. “Condom?” you asked simply, searching his eyes. You could see the answer as he racked his brain before shaking his head.

“I don’t have one either,” you stated, mind already racing for solutions. “Maybe—what if—,” you began thinking aloud. “Go check my roommate's night stand.” Ubbe gave a curt nod, shimmying out of his trousers before heading across the hall. Once he was gone you stood up, quickly shuffling your skirt off before climbing under the bed sheets.

“There’s no condoms here, just a bunch of vibrators,” Ubbe called from the other room. Panicking you reached for your phone to quickly texted your roommate:

where are condoms??

She responded instantly with a series of exclamation points to denote her excitement before stating:

medicine cabinet!! have fuunn!!!!

“Check the bathroom, behind the mirror,” you shouted to Ubbe as you made sure to set your phone on silent.

“Success!” he celebrated as he entered the room. Watching him stand in the doorway you couldn't take your eyes off the solid shape of his erection held to the side by his tight gray boxers. Your throat felt dry as he approached, tossing the connected series of foil packages onto the duvet.

“Sure you need all these?” you teased, picking up the condoms to count just how many he grabbed.

“Oh yeah, I have big plans for tonight,” he replied while climbing back on top of you. He edged in for a kiss when his phone vibrated, rattling on the wooden tabletop. Out of habit Ubbe reached for the phone, tilting it slightly to check the screen. He seemed momentarily taken aback as he read the message before turning to you. “Hvitserk just sent me a series of thumbs up emojis.”

Giving a groan in shame you once again drew your hands to hide your face and rolled over onto your stomach away from him. You should’ve realized that your roommate would tell Hvitserk about the text. Ubbe smirked as his palms snaked up the back of your thighs until they came to cup your ass. Giving a brief squeeze, he admired the jiggle before leaning forward to nip at your bottom. He teasingly sank his teeth into your flesh, instantly drawing your thoughts away from embarrassment.

Pushing your shoulders up, you twisted half way around to spot him leaving a trail of kisses and bites over the curve of your ass. “What are you doing?” you asked, giving a nervous laugh that died in your throat when you caught the heat in his expression as he raised his eyes to meet yours.

“I’m giving this booty the attention it deserves,” he explained in a serious tone while holding your gaze. His fingers slid between your thighs, rubbing against your lips through the cotton of your underwear. “Mmm, you’re so wet, you’ve already soaked through your panties,” he hummed pressing harder as your legs opened to aid his reach.

Slowly, he sank his fingers into you, sliding them back and forth to help spread your juices between your lips as he let out a low, primal growl in your ear. “You feel so good, so ready,” he mumbled, shifting against you so his erection prodded at the back of your thigh. Pulling his elbow back, Ubbe raised his hand so that his middle and ring fingers withdrew from inside you. He brought his fingers to your mouth, resting them against your bottom lip as your tongue danced, testing the taste of yourself on his skin. Pushing forward, his touch went deeper into your mouth as you pursed your lips around his knuckles and sucked.

“You want this, don’t you?” Ubbe mumbled in your ear as you released his fingers with a pop.

“Yes, please,” you reply with a giggle, enjoying the husky timber of his voice.

“Then be a good girl and take your panties off. I want you on your knees,” he ordered while moving to stand up. Keeping his eyes on you, he shed his boxers and gathered a condom. You pivoted slightly, drawing your knees up while reaching to pull off your underwear. You had the pair down to your thighs when the weight on the bed shifted from Ubbe climbing behind you. He grabbed one of your ass cheeks, urging you to let go of the elastic waistband and brace yourself with your arms instead. “That’s it, shake that ass for me, make it wiggle.” Ubbe enjoyed the view, watching the way you moved to fill his request as he pumped at his length. Gripping at the base he lined himself up—teasing your hole with the head—before sinking between your lips.

He inched himself slowly into you until his hips met yours. Ubbe paused for a moment, allowing you to savor the filling sensation of him inside you. With a groan you started to move your hips, feeling the head scrape along your inner walls. Ubbe seemed to get the hint, digging his fingers into your soft waist as he began to thrust.

The sound of his grunts mixed with the wet squelch of your juices. He continued to mumble incoherent but dirty praise as he sped up, slamming harder and harder into you. As he gave a quick swat to your left cheek, you lost your balance, dropping your shoulders to the bed so that your ass was stuck up in the air for him. Ubbe followed the change of position easily, lifting one leg to better brace himself as he continued to fuck you. Lost in the stimuli of the act, you moaned openly, unable to control the noises that left your mouth.

Leaning forward, Ubbe splayed his hand across your shoulder blades, holding you down as he huffed in your ear. “Your pussy feels fucking fantastic. So tight and wet—” he cut himself off with a grunt as he shifted his pacing, changing to long hard thrusts that shoved you further into the duvet. You could feel as his movements stuttered and then suddenly he pulled away.

The cool air was quick to fill the space he vacated as you twisted your head to look back at him. Continuing to kneel behind you, Ubbe discard the condom and stroked himself to completion. He roared as he climaxed, the white ribbons of cum landing on your upturned ass. You shook your hips for him again as he sighed, admiring the view before dropping to lay beside you as you straightened your legs and settled on your stomach.

The pair of you stayed like that for some time until Ubbe raised his arm to weave his fingers into your hair, drawing you in closer. His kisses were more relaxed this time, the impatient hunger from before drained out of him—for now.

“We never cleaned up the mess in the kitchen,” you hummed, your lips so close, they brushed against his as you spoke.

Ubbe gave a harsh growl, nipping at your mouth, “I’d rather make a mess of you in here, than worry about some pizza boxes out there.” His tongue darted out to wet his lip while his hand danced down your curves, smoothing across your hips. You could feel as his touch swiped at your ass cheek, collecting some of his expended cum onto his finger. His hand returned to your field of vision, drifting towards your mouth. Opening your lips, you presented your tongue for him to deposit the cum. He rolled the milky liquid off his finger when you surprised him by sucking the digit into your mouth, ensuring that you had gotten every last drop.

Letting out a groan of approval, Ubbe leaned forward, rolling you over as he dove for the crook of your neck.

“Wait, wait, stop!” you giggled, trying to fight his attempts to pin you on your back. “I haven’t washed up!”

“You know what my uncle used to say?” He murmured, the rumble of his voice tickling at your skin. “Rollo always told me,” Ubbe began, rearing back just enough to catch your eye, “The job ain't done till you’ve ruined the sheets.”

Hope you enjoyed! please tell me what you thought!

@beautifulramblingbrains @ariwolf14 @titty-teetee @whenimaunicorn@sweetvengeancee @ivarinleatherpants @tiyetiye @romanchronicles @oddsnendsfanfic @murmelinchen @buckybarnesisalittleshit@laketaj24 @ivarslittlebadgirl @readsalot73 @imgoldielikehawn@ivarsshieldmadien @ceridwenofwales @grungyblonde @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @tephi101 [[if you want to be tagged for vikings stuff in the future, leave a reply]]

#ubbe #ubbe ragnarsson #ubbe imainge #ubbe x reader #ubbe smut #my writing #to make a mess

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homestucky · 5 years

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ok ok this is like not anything new but still since i havent been on here i havent fully ranted about this yet. big long rant incoming

re the epilogue (spoilers etc)

ok. i have onl y read meat. but fucking? dirk? dirk? ok? dirk??

no.

i am aware of what happens in candy. i know he dies.

i also know in the version i read, in meat, he becomes his ultimate self, all versions of dirk. as many people have said, this includes AR, this includes bro, this includes even to some degree, LE. its an interesting idea ill give you that. but its also.... shitty and not backed enough by well, anything?

so heres my personal rant about the shitty things in Meat.

when i first finished it i couldnt help but think. was the dirk narrative even necessary? on the one hand it was meant to be the MAIN PLOT and it defined the narration etc, but.... it honestly didnt seem to have any importance. i know it was likely a set up to imply future stuff like making the next sburb or whatever but like

who CARES? why on earth would that be interesting or important? maybe im crazy but like, the ‘b plot’ which was mostly about character relationships and jobs in earth c, was compelling and enjoyable. the narrative with john ‘not important and not the main character anymore’ egbert had details and conclusions ACTUALLY RELATING TO HOMESTUCK, THE COMIC I LIKE AND WANTED TO READ AN EPILOGUE FOR. it was tragic and frankly very upsetting! im not saying i liked it!! but the tragedy felt compelling and significant.

i appreciate that dirk as narrator IS BIASED so him saying that these narratives are less important is inherently like. not to be trusted but. just. i cant help but feel like you could have cut the whole ‘main dirk reality affecting’ narrative OUT

and that seems to me maybe like... not good? if such a central part of your narrative has almost no bearing on homestuck or anything anyone cares about?

but im sure there are other people who found it compelling and necessary. thats fair. cant relate but you do you. there are other issues.

me saying that the dirk narrative felt weirdly isolated and insignificant sounds pretty weird given that it put jade into a coma, manipulated kanayas mind, effectively killed rose and destroyed rosemary right? WELL that brings me on to the next thing. people have noted that meat barely passes the bechdel test. and hey, sometimes things like that can just be a coincidence or unlucky. but the repeated erasure of the female characters minds, motives, identities and autonomy was???? a little too consistent to dismiss. like ok terezi was still her dope self in a lot of ways. jane kinda did some stuff (under dirks direction, and only shitty stuff but . whatever).

(sidebar: ofc it doesnt make sense to talk about calliope and roxy in the context of the female characters in Meat but either way they were very in the background. like cool an all, and i always love roxy. and i respect they were mostly just minding their own businesses??? which is fair)

i just. urgh. homestuck has such a genuinely good track record of giving female characters genuine motivations and powerful abilities etc. the fact that almost ALL the female characters involved were working for or manipulated by DIRK. DIRK of all people. is like... is this even based off the real comic? idgi????

roses loss of autonomy.... rose is such an important character. and she goes along with everything dirk says because dirk is suddenly all OP and ‘theyre basically the same person anyway’ like i get that there was some magic bullshit going on or whatever but at the end of the day rose was still written as weak and passive. dirk as strong and skilled and decisive. i get the undertones.. hes a prince of heart. a destroyer of souls, and identities. he messed with kanayas identity , destroyed roses, repeatedly ignored roxys and calliopes, and god i wont even get started on jake yet. but that doesnt make it satisfying to read. or even really feasible.

so theres a possibility im missing something. but im confused about WHY dirk is allowed this power. in the narrative its waved off as a kind of ‘i guess because im like a prince of heart or whatever and im just super good at managing identities and being a strong boy’ like ok if theres some implication somewhere that that is MEANT to be a bogus explanation id be interested to know because it sounds pretty goddamn bogus. why would this happen to dirk? why? literally? one reason? one that makes sense? because there arent any i can think of. why, in the new universe, would dirk, a prince of heart, manifest into a narrative controlling supergod. and fucking WHEN has dirk showed any actual capabilities in this area before?? he KINDA sucked at it in the game. dirks an idiot! hes smart and capable in like, some ways but. its like

why is dirk so powerful suddenly -> its because hes become super ultimate dirk -> ... ok why -> uh because like. hes just so naturally inclined towards being a great manipulator yknow..... canonically.... uhhhh

it just. canon dirk to epilogue dirk is the most ridiculous leap character wise, skill wise, arc wise, personality wise, with minimal reasonable explanation.

which brings me on to the next thing. so i roasted dirk and said he wasnt strong enough to be able to manipulate things this well. well, obviously through some other means dirk HAS been afforded this power. but what about his personality? its obviously gonna be warped with self importance and knowing how things ‘have to be’. but hes heartless, cruel and hateful. in some ways it seems like canon dirk levels of ruthlessness, especially when it shows that he is actually doing something dumb and petty like his treatment of jake. that shows that he STILL has emotional connection to people as dirk. he also seems to care about some people, like dave and roxy, and cracks jokes and wants to have ‘fun’. this makes the ways in which hes so warped and cruel seem even worse. maybe on the one hand im giving dirk too much credit, everyone knows he has the potential to be a real bastard. but i dont think that was the trajectory he was on when we last saw him. and if this is truly due to him just.. becoming other versions of himself too including LE and bro and stuff..like. i dont see how it could have gotten that bad without say, roxy or dave noticing.

‘oh they didnt notice because hes just so good at hiding’ why on earth would i believe that!! dave especially this is kinda insulting for. dave is shown to have an almost supernatural ability to detect danger. partially this might be timeline stuff, knight stuff, but also notably im sure his upbringing is involved too. he was trained to be hypervigilant. who was he trained to be hypervigilant for? bro. bros manipulation and traps. near the end of the epilogue we show that dave IS capable of detecting the mindfuckery thats happening. how would that not set off 1 million alarm bells? theres literally apparently a twisted dirk-bro mutant INSIDE HIS HEAD telling him what to do. i just. know that scene was played for comedy and romance but at the very least thats gotta like???? mess with u if ur traumatised? and thats like , why i think dave should have had an inkling abt what was going on!! this is exactly the thing he hates and fears and was traumatised by! and it just going under his nose n him not even knowing , and still pretty recently being all buddy buddy with dirk seems just stupid and infeasible to me. maybe this is me being naive or kind of a stretch but i just feel like daves danger instincts would have been kicking up a whole assed ruckus that whole time.

also kind of unrelated but i associate sunglasses with strider style toxic masculinity and hiding things so like. ok transitioning or changing gender presentation is one thing but roxy apparently permanently wearing sunglasses makes me NERVOUS

and ill probably wrap up this mighty rant soon but i wanna also say jake was done so fucking dirty. i know he was like, meant to be, because for some reason god dirk just hated him? like ok petty much. but. urgh jake is such an interesting character with a lot of potential and while i appreciate that him being manipulated by someone who may reasonably have a problem with him may make him do stupid and embarrassing stuff, all the narrative seems to have taken a backward step in how hes represented. jake isnt stupid, dirk clearly knew this in canon and he maybe was the only one even including jake. and there was some acknowledgement of this near the beginning of the epilogue. but then for some reason it goes back on itself. everyone still thinks jake is just completely stupid, including the embittered superdirk. so yeah i guess hes upset with jake or whatever but. its still dissatisfying to be like oh yeah jake isnt stupid he actually has a complex set of motivations and potential etc BUT over the X number of yrs on earth c no one else has realised this yet?? hmm. then his narrative is just gonna end up with him being a total joke and essentially becomes as stupid and incompetent as his worst critics say he is. feasible given the mind control ? yeah. enjoyable to read or having any kind of satisfying bearing on anything? nope!

so anyway. i feel like any criticism i have could be argued back with ‘but oh it has to be this way’ or ‘mind control!!’ or ‘not everything has to be nice and happy !!’ but like. dude. there are flaws. many of them. and seeing characters just get shat on is never gonna be good writing.

#hs epilogue #epilogue #meat #epilogue spoilers

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strawberryjun · 6 years

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highschool!jeno part 2 !!

o k so where did we leave off

so its Monday and hes back in history class, and hes as smiley as he used to be YAYYAYAAAYYYYY

but u notice that there's a little bit of regret or is it guilt ? in his eyes, u cant tell

ur teacher announces a work period so u and jeno r sitting side by side, shoulders brushing

"I broke up with her"

"wow, ,, jeno , are u ok ?"

"yeah I didnt really like her anyway, the dreamies pushed me into it and I kinda think i like someone else anyway"

now this is interesting

lee jeno likes someone else ??? who could it be ???? ;))

but ur not gonna push him so u dont ask

"oh, ok, well, u wanna do our project?"

and u do, u work on it til ur almost done

but theres still some more to go, so u meet up after school again, but this time at his house

he said he wanted u to come over bc his laptop was out of battery and u couldnt Just use yours (I'm not buying it)

anyway ur at his house

and u notice that his laptop is fully charged ???? ??

but u dont say anything and u guys work on ur project

and u finish !!!!! so early too !!

jeno is so happy that he asks u to celebrate !!!

"theres a really cool ice cream place nearby, let's go to celebrate!!!"

how can u resist that beautiful eye smile

u go to the ice cream place and order ur ice cream but before u can get ur wallet out, hes already paying at the cashier

"jeno!!! I could've paid, here lemme pay u bac-"

"no !!!! dont !!! it's my treat !!!! you did give me such good advice after all :))"

literally ur heart just burst

so u sit down and eat your ice cream and talk about everything

about politics, the big bang, clouds and music

"so, u like kanye?"

"it's a bunny on a skateboard !!!" "n o o it's santa eating chicken !!!"

and u just go on and on like that until u realize it's dark out and Oh No

u have to get home before curfew

so u tell him thanks for the ice cream, but youve gotta go

and he says oh !!! of course !!! lemme walk u home !!!!

and so u guys are walking and talking

and u get so caught up in him and his thoughts that u almost miss your house

"isnt this yours ???"

"o-oh yeah haha a H a"

and u get to ur doorstep and ur a little bit Sad bc :((( u wanna keep talking to him :((

"thanks for today, jeno"

"oh, you're welcome, y/n :)) it was my pleasure"

"well I should go in now"

"haha probably"

but as u turn to go in, he grabs your wrist

and it's the first time hes really touched u

and it's weird but it's also amazing

like sparks going off in your wrist and heart

and he turns u around and kisses u

lightly, like the softest touch similar to how a toddler would hold your hand

but it felt like a wave collapsing over both of you, swallowing u up and rocking u around

in the best way possible

he blushes and u blush, and it's hard to look into each others eyes

and he starts to open his mouth, as if hes trying to say something, but u cut him off, putting your lips back on his

and its longer now, and harsher

but not too long or too harsh, perfect

and you're happy

and so is jeno

and hes smiling into the kiss and it makes u giggly

so u end up breaking the kiss because you're both giggling

and he finally looks into your eyes, still tomato red

"that was fun"

and u nod, not saying anything because you're smiling too hard

"its late, get some sleep, ill see you tomorrow" he says, eyes crescent moons

and then you're in your bed, still red and giggly over what just happened

then it's the morning

and you're nervous about what to wear, how to act

because u like him, you like lee jeno

and he kissed you !!!

so u go to school, and hes in history, just like you expected

and he locks eyes with you once u walk in

and immediately goes red, as do you

but he walks over to you and smiles and waves and says a shy hi

"how are you" , , ,, , giggles

"how did you sleep", , , ,,,,, giggles

yall r just the cutest omg

once he gets his composure he takes u out of the classroom (he has a free pass bc his teacher loves him so much)

and into a janitors closet so he can tell you "y/n, I like you . a lot ."

and you're just standing there in shock because he does like you, and you like him and what's gonna happen now and

but you're quiet for so long jeno gets nervous

"oh, , do u not like me ? Its ok if u dont I mean I just kinda assumed bc you kissed me back but if u dont that's totally fine I mean i dont want to force u into anything it's fine I'm f i n-"

and u cut him off, throwing your arms around his waist with an "I like you too lee jeno"

and now it's his turn to be Shook

but before anything else happens, the janitor walks in

"oh, u kids, get out of here !!!"

you guys leave the closet, but before u go back to class jeno asks if u wanna skip and just be with him

and u agree (of course)

so u two are just sitting on the bleachers continuing the conversation from last night before u hear a "oi !!! who's this !!!" and see a pack of 6 ??? boys coming over to u two

ur a little confused before you realize that Ohh it's the dreamies

and jeno introduces u to all of them, mark, the oldest, about to off to college, renjun, a savage (u learn to understand soon enough), haechan, the sassy one (not mean, just sassy), jaemin, the pretty boy, chenle, really loud exchange student and jisung, youngest, always trying his Best

they're a fun group who seem to be misunderstood by your school

you like them and they seem to like you

and you and jeno continue to go out on these lil dates, until a week later he finally asks you to be his officially

to which you say yes !!!

and you're both so happy

he picks u up in the morning so u can walk to school together, you walk to history together, you eat lunch with him and the dreamies

"you're officially a part of the dreamies, y/n" - jaemin "yes please keep the boys in line while I'm gone" - mark "Y/N WILL NEVER TAME US WILDCATS" - haechan

you guys r the schools #1 couple, everyone is jealous of u two

nd you guys r always doing cute shit and having deep conversations where u talk abt ur hopes and dreams and jeno tells u all about how he wants to marry you one day :')

you two are the world's cutest and bestest couple (at least in your and jenos eyes)

and you're both so happy :)))

#thats it !!!#i really like how this turned out #jeno is such a cutie #lee jeno #jeno scenarios #nct dream scenarios #nct #haechan #mark lee #jisung #jaemin #chenle #renjun

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