#but i'm too far gone to care

[thisismyobsessionnow]

Ne bi smel, London 11/4 2024

#joker out #jan peteh #nace jordan #and worth mentioning a little bit of #kris guštin #i tried posting this last night #because those gifs by eteisvalssi had me running to look at my own video #but tumblr decided to be a bitch #anyway I miss this man so so so much #it should actually be embarrassing #but i'm too far gone to care

[fromtheseventhhell]

Common fandom complaint that you’re tired of hearing? It can be more than one

I'm tired of hearing about Sansa being the most unfairly hated character, especially when it comes with no acknowledgment of how horrible her stans act or the hate they give other female characters. It's just a demonstrably incorrect claim. Every other character is allowed to be disliked but we're all just expected to put Sansa on a pedestal cause she represents "true womanhood" or whatever the nonsense argument of the week is. Arya and Dany are two of the most casually hated and rewritten characters in the fandom and it barely gets talked about cause "feminism" in this fandom is only about female characters "pure" enough to deserve it. I just think it's gross to try and quantify how worthy a female character is of being defended from misogyny. At that point it's not even about defending Sansa from unfair hate, it's being upset that she isn't getting special treatment.

#ask #spectrum-color #anti sansa stans #I'm just tired of people making posts about it as though the hate Sansa gets is more than other characters or especially toxic #cause it's not. People dislike her like every other character and if we're supposed to accept it then her stans can do the same #or at the very least stop sending so much hate to other characters and then trying to play the victim about it #but like I said a lot of these people hate Dany and Arya and are fine with them getting hate and being disliked #Dany + Arya's most popular theories are about them being /too far gone/ and doomed to die while their stories get given to other characters #so sorry if I don't care that someone dislikes Sansa for being a classist bully

[benevolenterrancy]

I lied about posting art next, my bad. Someone on AO3 was asking me about how I plotted out my MASH/Torchwood crossover, so I said I'd drop a look at my planning doc, for anyone that wants to see what it looks like when I'm going full wall-of-red-string about a fic

I'm very visual, so I used colour-coded tables to help me keep track of things. I basically wanted to ensure I knew the BIG MAIN GOAL for both MASH and Torchwood, followed by the B and C plots that were happening at the same time. Once I knew what was the Main End Goal for everything, I then broke the plotlines down into the plot points that needed to happen to arrive at the End Goals without it feeling random. Then I just assembled those plot points together to ensure that pacing made sense and felt good. Obviously things changed a lot from a planning document and the ultimate end, but that's the gist of it.

#i'm sure no one cares about this but i do love getting to chatter about my blorbos and art and shit so here we are #bene speaks #fanfiction #to be clear i do not normally go this far into a planning document this story just had way too many plot threads not to without going insan #or doing a bad job #if it's a longish fic i'll sometimes have a bare bone outline just to make sure i keep my eye on the end goals and pacing but that's it #the only other thing i've gone this intense for is that hogan's heroes dating sim that i've had forever simmering on the back burner #that planning document is mighty and infuriating #torchwood #mash

[melverie]

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again

#i'm gonna ramble in the tags but #i've been talking with starr (if you're reading this--hi starr!! <3) about the blog today and sharing some of the entries #and it just made me miss it so much #+ the conversation actually made me realize some other reasons why i didn't enjoy the blog in general anymore #like i genuinely love the blog and i genuinely loved writing for it & that conversation reminded me of that #but also there were so many reasons that ultimately pushed me to more or less abandon the blog & then later private it too #so i'm kind of at a loss here #tbh i think i'm mostly just scared to pick the blog up again only for it to end exactly like last time i picked it back up #i've actually always wanted for the blog to be a source of inspiration y'know? #like the things mentioned in the entries are kinda just small ideas right #i was hoping that people would read these & feel inspired to write or draw something of their own based on my entries #that was actually what made me start the blog in the first place. the hope that i could inspire others that way #aaahhhhhh.... maybe it's on me since i could have more openly communicated that idea...... #i did get to meet one wonderful person who wrote a few fics based on my entries tho!! (hi ali <3) #but yeah..there's that #also the way engagement just dropped significantly after a while #like i know i was gone for a good while & that a lot of people left the fandom and all that #but still getting maybe one reblog if i'm lucky really feels like a punch to the gut #ESPECIALLY considering that i was close to 900 followers on there #do you guys know that feeling when you proudly show someone you care about something you did only to get a disinterested answer? #yeah... #that's essentially how it feels like to me #and well as you might know the feeling of “why should i keep writing if apparently no one cares” eventually won... haha..... #but aaaahhhhh i'm still clinging onto the hope & what ifs here #that conversation with starr really just made me forget about everything that frustrated me about the blog & left me with this #longing feeling to start again lol #hey if you've made it this far into the tags let me just ask--would you care if i picked the blog back up? #would you also *show* that you care? #i'm actually quite curious (you could almost call me george lol) #anyway maybe we'll see each other on today-in-the-devildom again in the future.. who knows

[relicsongmel]

Today marks the three-year anniversary of the day I lost my mom to breast cancer.

She wasn't perfect—no one is, as a person, or as a mother—but I loved her all the same, and I deeply mourn the fact that our relationship was cut short before it truly had a chance to blossom. I've felt a sense of directionlessness that's only grown in intensity since her passing, but I know in my heart she'd be proud of me and all the growing up I've done since then regardless.

This is the last year I'll be living in the house we shared, but her heart will always be with me wherever I go. Wherever she is now, may she find rest and solace.

#mel's musings #currently wearing my pendant with her fingerprint as i'm writing this #not to get preachy but if (keyword “if”) you have a good relationship with your parents. treasure that #take care to cherish all the little moments spent together. because those are what you'll be clinging to most when they're gone #don't leave anything left unsaid. and remember there's no such thing as too many i love yous #a certain amount of grief and lack of closure is inevitable. but if you start making that effort now you'll have less regrets later #i wish i could say i followed that advice myself. but at the very least i know how to do better going forward #and i hope you all can do the same. if you've made it this far thanks for reading and pass on some love to someone you care about today <3

[bsxcrxts]

fuck it inbox is open for hunter and tech thots

#i've gone too far i literally do not care #tbb hunter x reader #tbb tech x reader #if you're new to the blog i'm pretty much just a smut writer but you know. we can talk about whatever <3

[kirby-the-gorb]

I just bought myself a manga about the artist going through severe illness and I found it comforting to read someone else's experience, so I thought maybe I would share a little about my experience with MCAS again. so here's all the pills I take!

cromolyn. 2 ampules mixed with water 4x/day (although I'm often out of bed for 12 hours or less and have trouble keeping track of time, so often it's 3x instead). mast cell stabilizer.

multivitamin. I only took this for a week so far and stopped to gather data. (my paranoia was getting bad, which often means I'm reacting to a med. this is a cheap one with many fillers.) meant to make up for difficulty accessing food and possible malabsorption.

fludrocortisone. 2 pills a day. for POTS.

atenolol. 1 per day. also for POTS.

montelukast. 1 per day. technically for asthma, but works by blocking one of the signals the mast cells send.

loratadine (aka claritin). 1 pill 2x/day, which we had to fight the insurance about after a while. antihistamine, meant to prevent anaphylaxis by blocking a different mast cell signal.

aspirin. 2 pills 2x/day. to reduce inflammation and control chronic pain.

whichever oral hormonal birth control my insurance will give me (it varies). 1 per day. menstruation makes my MCAS flare and I still have incomplete cessation even after an ablation, so I keep taking it even when not putting myself at risk of pregnancy.

dye-free diphenhydramine (aka benadryl). another antihistamine, taken when my MCAS flares to reduce or completely end the symptoms. (the pink dye in the regular formulation is actually a very common trigger.)

low-dose prednisone. steroid kept on hand for unavoidably high-demand occasions (like moving across the country) or unshakable prolonged flares (like, a week).

that's 8 pills in the morning, 3-4 at night, 8 ampules in the day, and 2 different emergency meds. plus I try to drink a gatorlyte every day (also good for POTS and certain mineral shortages) and try to avoid triggers (including heat, stress, and overexertion -n- )

3 and 4 were the first meds that ever made me feel any better, before we'd figured out it was MCAS. (likely with secondary POTS/EDS.) 6 and 7 are the first line treatment for MCAS, they're the first medications I actually took *for* it. they are often used in combination with famotidine (aka pepcid) but that made my paranoia super bad so I stopped taking that one.

this was my regimen established before I got covid last july, which made my MCAS much worse, which also made it impossible to get a new doc post-move since I can't physically get to an appt. so this is likely to change once I have medical care again. being sick is a lot of work!

#kirby #daily kirby #my art #digital #hal laboratory #nintendo #chronic illness #mcas #tmi #long post #ask to tag #(the manga was 'I'm a terminal cancer patient but I'm fine' btw) #(I don't have cancer as far as we know! and my illness wouldn't be qualified as terminal!) #(it's a chronic illness that's gotten pretty severe and has the potential to be fatal tho.) #(thebibliosphere has mcas too and she spent much of 2019 at death's door before she finally got knowledgeable care just in time.) #(at least I think it was 2019. I can't remember for sure.) #(anyway 'terminal' is a squishy and suspect category - even the mangaka says in the afterword she's stopped using it) #(cuz at time of publication she'd gone into remission! very exciting for her :> ) #(she did unfortunately pass away a couple months ago but. such is life.) #(it can still be a nice book ending even if it didn't last.) #(also yes. my christmas tree is still up in february. I've Been Very Ill.) #(I've gotten all the ornaments off (over the course of a week) and I just have to take off the colored lights and disassemble it.) #(I've been using it for ambient light in the living room because I was really photosensitive for a few months.) #(it's not as bad now but I still prefer diffuse light for sure.) #favorites

[cannotfly]

everyone please do me a favor and stop romanticizing this musical and please do not show it to your eleven-year-old

#this is why i miss it when we were a small fandom #this is why i don't like fandom anymore #y'all can't handle it #and like this is at least a 15+ show #the covers of kids singing are cute ig but please tell me they only know one or two songs and not the rest #this is not a kids show!!! #and you adults out there enjoying it: be adults about it #quit the romanticization of cannibalism and murder #some of you have gone too far #*❈ ‣ i’m a silly little ninnynoodle — ( ooc. ) #tbd. #i don't even care how i sound in this rant i'm so sick of it #the way people handle this musical is disguising sometimes #i'm not above humor but the line has been blurred #t.urpin is disgusting #l.ovett is disgusting #s.weeney is disgusting #don't try to convince me otherwise

[conretewings]

Just when I think the bar is set so low it can't possibly go any further I find a new level of hell *slow clap*

No I'm not blurring this person's name they deserve to be called out and shamed for this absolutely stunning level of depravity. The rest of their blog is an equally fucked up mess of utterly baffling and sordid garbage takes, including how it's ""valid"" to be transracial, transabled, transheight (???) among others.

No. All of it. Absolutely not. You're entitled to live in whatever little fantasy world you want BUT the second you start bringing your delusions into the real world, thinking it's okay to let people who would cause irreparable harm to children go unsupervised or playing pretend that you're a different race or level of ability, is when you need to stop and get some fucking help.

#I'm absolutely seething right now #I don't even care if I get a bunch of angry freaks coming at me #someone needs to put their foot down #this shit needs to stop #tw child abuse #tw pedophila mention #this has gone too far

[moribundr]

my head is a mess of blorbo thoughts right now, just thinking about how Reyes genuinely believes he's a victim. I mean, he is and isn't. his paranoia was his downfall that inevitably also dragged people down with him. do I think he was the main source of Overwatch's downfall? no, but he had a good part of it. the fact that he thought he was a one man army, placing the blame on Morrison's shoulders and constructing a narrative in his head is so damaging. I don't think he would even care to listen to the actual truth. Reyes is so delusional at this point that any chance of 'redemption' feels like a fever dream.

he's living in this victim mind set and he will die in it.

#` . ° ( looks like it's amateur hour ; ooc . #it's kind of sad?? but more so frustrating #I just woke up so I'm still groggy but this has been in my head #PRAYING that the new comic will shed some light into what happened #but 100% believe that Reyes would not care to learn the truth cause he's too far gone now

[dennisboobs]

this is genuinely... so funny to me. like the hilarity of copypasting rational tweets. i'm literally right. it's not even a funny copypasta because it's literally just. objectively correct. it's a criticism of twitter culture and that makes it funny to you because...... god forbid you actually have empathy for other people. caring is for losers if you're on twitter dot com, you have to be snarky and funny at all times.

#moots & friends keep sending me shit and im just like. lmfao this is embarrassing for YOU guys. i stand by everything ive said actually. #i'm sorry you think trying to have a genuine conversation about harmful behaviours is cringe #you consider yourself an activist and will retweet every fucking post abt current events #but you can't actually be bothered to make a positive change in your own life......... #the fact that most of them stop responding after they realize im not going to freak out and give them something emotional is very telling #it's not even like most of them disagree they literally just want to make fun of me for...... caring. like ok. weird hill to die on idk #im at the point where im considering privating my tweets just so i dont continue to get ppl responding but #i think its important that ppl can see my responses. because i stand by them and clearly other ppl do too #theres been a lot of mixed responses but a lot of people have actually ended up agreeing with me after some back and forth #which i appreciate. i didnt want to start fuckin. twitter drama. but like. ill take it #i dont interact with sunnyblr at all so i think this is a good opportunity to potentially change at least a few ppls perspectives #and if youre too far gone to the point where you think that someone caring about perpetuating homophobic rhetoric is funny #i. dont really want to interact with you anyway lol. get better soon xoxo #last post about this on here im. putting this to rest. #ada speaks #genuinely disgusting how many of these ppl will say shit like. ppl are dying. like... yeah. what are YOU doing to help. #retweeting a donation link or someones random carrd doesnt do shit actually. performative armchair activism. #same ppl tweeting vapid shit while acting like theyre above engaging with me on this #i was venting about people qrting glenns old tweets with stupid shit because it was clogging my tl actually lol

[sagehaubitze]

#photography #my photography #I may as well post this now #broke out the DLSR in case the expired and damaged polaroids were too far gone #and to have as a backup if they deteriorate more #though I handed them off when we returned from the mountains so their care isn't up to me anymore #I've had a real shit day so I'm trying to refocus on something positive

[haarute]

i'm sorry but as someone who is always trying to understand most things and most people, the reaction a lot of folks have of immediately dismissing something or jumping to an outrage without having a second to try to reflect on a situation or process empathy is something that i will never relate to and i consider to be a bad mentality to have if left unchecked actually

#not a response to any specific situations that might or might not be the topic of conversation today on tumblr dot com #it's just a general thought that i always have. #and i tend to unfollow people for this sometimes lmao sorry. it just makes me uncomfortable. and i see it frequently. #i've said this before but #i feel like often you can kinda see who has had life experiences that were unfair to them and being angry was their way out into freedom #(which does make sense in the transgender and gay website) #so they default to applying that state to most things because it is What Feels Right To Me Actually and i can't blame them for doing so. #but then there's people like me who like. my life experiences have led me into the Guilt Pit #where i am trying extremely hard to be measured and understanding because i have been very emotionally reactive in the past #or have witnessed things where very emotionally reactive people have caused horrible things to others around them #and i hate that actually and i try as hard as i can not to be that. #which is why i also feel like whenever i see it in other people i'm like. oh boy. i would not get along with you lmao. #and i feel like these are two opposite mentalities that are definitely detrimental to you if gone too far into either direction #so i don't necessarily think either is bad or anything. as long as you're able to pull yourself back and realize that like #you Should dedicate some thought to the rest of the world actually and not default to just ''what i feel is correct always'' #and on the other end realize that sometimes you just have to Let Go #because caring about Everything is unrealistic and you will go Insane and lose your own self if you try to feel for too many other things #which is what i had to learn the hard way. #and also like. sometimes the immediate ''fuck you'' reaction Is super valid. and it's important to learn when that is the case. #but yeah. anyway. mentality. ways of seeing the world. people being different. wooooo. #rambling again in tags sorry.

[thebaffledcaptain]

someone better stop me before I write an entire essay about how I find bridgerton's lack of authenticity in portraying george iii genuinely problematic from a historical standpoint

#honestly i don't think you can stop me i think i'm too far gone #as in. i've already started and it would be hard to stop me now... #i know i know i'm so obnoxious about this... i care about him and i care about authenticity #it goes a lot deeper than pedantry as i've already mentioned #this is your captain speaking

[kitchensunflowers]

please show runners and whoever is in charge of this stuff: don't disappear scars just because any storyline related to those scars is over

scars heal and fade but generally don't just disappear without a trace

so idk it feels like a slight whenever i see a scar that a character got in a significant plot moment just disappear later as if to say 'that actually wasn't relevant' or 'but this person is a model, this person is beautiful... this person has healed and they are beautiful so they don't have a scar anymore'

scars are normal, scars are a part of life, and as a bonus showing healed scars can provide representation for people who have scars

and erasing healed scars because they are not 'conventionally attractive' or 'no longer plot relevant' is doing the character who had the scars and your audience (who also presumably cares about that character) a disservice

#tldr i'm watching #station 19 #and #travis montgomery #'s sternotomy scar and initial injury scar #which were featured as a part of his recovery storyline #have now disappeared without a trace and i am annoyed #its the calendar storyline and they are just gone #and it could have been a cool beat if they had wanted a line to address how he feels about modelling now that he has surgical scars #or even if they had ignored it #this person has visible scars its nbd #that would have been great too #either way #like this was a significant event for your character #and if you have had any success with your show you should trust your audience remembers and cares #so pay both of them (the character and the shows viewers) that respect maybe? #anyway i have scars (not sternotomy but still scars) im self conscious about #and this happens far too often with shows #imo #and i'm tired of it #these are just rambles #ds

[7-oh-ta1]

The other day I commented on a 3H tiktok I didn't agree with bec I actually DID agree a bit just not completely, and promptly found out op was a dimitri stan twitter user whose never played any other fire emblem so they thought Edelgard was complete evil with no critical thinking skills and I blocked them so fast so I would never unknowingly interact with them again. So here's me speaking out into the void that I don't think Edelgard is pure evil and I think Dimitri is fail cringe.

#lindsay speaks #fe: three houses #it's so funny bec ppl like that op will be like edelgard is EVIL bec no life is a worthy cost of change (fair) but it's okay when dimitri #slaughtered ppl regardless of whether they had anything to do with him bec he has trauma 🥺🥺 (unfair) #like yes queen he does have trauma & what happened to him was horrible but you know what? edelgard also has trauma & what happened to her #was horrible. it's okay when dimitri wanders the countryside killing ppl without purpose but when edelgard kills those aligned with the #church then she's gone too far. at least edelgard is doing the wrong thing with good intentions. dimitri is completely unable to look #outside himself. recall him leading the army to enbarr instead of saving his people in HIS capital who desperately needed him bec he didn't #CARE about them. at least every horrible thing edelgard does she does in the name of crafting a better future for OTHER people. commoners #specifically. and I'm not saying dimitri is a bad character i actually think he's a good one. but it's SO UNFAIR to make excuses for HIM #doing HORRIBLE things and never acknowledging what he has done while at the same time condemning edelgard to being #completely irredeemable trash for the same if not better motives. #just say you hate to see a bisexual emperor woman winning and go drool over your str8 white man 🙄✋️ /hj #the way black eagles isn't even my main route i just get sick of seeing the double standard for my girl edie #honestly edelgard was slaying. dimitri would've snapped in 5 seconds in her boots 💅