#i tried posting this last night

[thisismyobsessionnow]

Ne bi smel, London 11/4 2024

#joker out #jan peteh #nace jordan #and worth mentioning a little bit of #kris guštin #i tried posting this last night #because those gifs by eteisvalssi had me running to look at my own video #but tumblr decided to be a bitch #anyway I miss this man so so so much #it should actually be embarrassing #but i'm too far gone to care

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

#mlp #yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia. #yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show #but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!! #i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse #in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character #personal #delete later #unless you like this analysis stuff #i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did #cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her #mother and father as a teenager #i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased #but i'll put some in the tags #involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity #anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention #(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff #long post #regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at #a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up

[tawnysoup]

Learning to accept support

#A sequence of drawings I made back in march but that im still proud of #It was drawn in an incredibly scattered manner throughout a page of existing sketches - i tried to crop out and erase most of the mess haha #i just really wanted to explore some post story emotions... mira and sif having an emotional accountability convo that isa joins in on #I did have an idea for the dialogue here but i think you can infer it pretty easily from the expressions #sasasap true ending got me pretty hard last night so this felt appropriate to post. isafrinbelle support group. qpr propoganda #isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #isat #in stars and time #isat postgame #isat siffrin #isat mirabelle #isat isabeau

[puhpandas]

family photo 2.0

#originally was drawing this for the ggy anniversary but. it’s in march. not january #this was supposed to be a remake of my old first ggy fanart #of vanny ggy and burntrap #that i posted in february last year :) #but alas now it’s just a normal drawing #it’s fine i’ll make another a couple months from now for the real ggy anniversary #also tried out a bit of a different way of drawing gregory #drawing tag #fnaf #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy’s #five nights at freddy’s fanart #fnaf security breach #fnaf security breach fanart #fnaf ruin #fnaf ruin fanart #fnaf gregory #gregory fnaf #ggy #dr. rabbit #dr rabbit #vanny #the mimic #the mimic fnaf #fnaf the mimic

[levuna]

So everyone’s talking about the Goncharov main theme, but how about the music from the farewell scene?

#i tried uploading this as a reblog to the music posted by caramiaaddio last night but it wouldn’t let me :( #Goncharov #unreality #i wrote this in a bit of a daze at like two in the morning #it’s midi piano but me on the viola btw #i’m not very satisfied with the recording but i’m afraid if i mess with it too much longer the meme will have passed #music

[weredemonz]

Dumb Maggie doodle as a warm up <-(currently going through the worst art rut known to man)

#i tried to post this thrice last night but alas #the text was so Magnificus coded #inscryption #Magnificus #inscryption fanart #my art

[hearts401]

Decided to finally design post scoop mike. He’s wearing a wig and it crunches when you touch it

#gave him a wig ONLY because I wanted to mess with his hair style #he tried to style it himself but it didn’t go well and this is the result #he also just didn’t like his hair anymore. he’d grown into his father 🥹 #my art #drew these on paper last night and then finished em on my phone ough #I have not draw. anything worth posting on my laptop except an unfinished comic I will never touch again #michael afton

[kingbeeleth]

my favorite part of pokemon legeng egeg was when volo said its voloing time and volo'd everywhere very scayr

#art #my art #pokemon #volo #im only tagging this out of necessity #sorry if anyone is scrolling through a tag and this is their first exposure to my volo / pkmn art instead of something i actually tried on #made this last night on ms paint b4 going to bed #posting it from my phone for that extra crunch

[leverage-ot3]

hozier starting to sing take me to church and then unfurling a pride flag healed something in me actually

if you listen closely you can hear me yell ‘oh my god’ when he does it

#(don’t listen too closely though I’m a bad singer lol) #I tried to post this Sunday night but it didn’t go through #I had no idea he was going to do it I almost cried #not leverage #hozier #slept at our airbnb for like 4 hours #woke up for an hour until Cumbies would be open so I could get breakfast (5am) #and then drove over 2.5 hours to get back home in time to get prepared for work #I ended up teaching my two hour group and then working till twelve and taking the rest of the day off #I forgot my meds so I slept ten hours until 10 at night 💀 #worth it #seeing him was a spiritual experience fr #and this was like SO spontaneous. like I cannot express enough how much I didn’t plan for this #also I literally got my tickets saturday when the show was sunday. thank u stubhub ur a true mvp #I knew my friends were going and were staying overnight and someone in my facebook group was selling tickets last minute and was like 👀👀👀 #I’m not gonna go into how she decided to sell to someone else later that day when I had already made plans and made me cry but whatever #it worked out in the end

[biblically-accurate-dca]

@vanweek2024 day 5 - chance

now's your chance

bonus

spammy

#my art #vanweek2024 #vanessa fnaf #vanessa sb #glitchtrap #HE'S THERE THIS TIME !! #first time properly drawing the bastard ♡ did i do good? #ngl i had no idea what to do for this theme. tried to go for the idea of willy boy going 'he's right there vanessa. it's time to kill' #the drawing itself was very fun !! the texture reminds me of a handmade stamp or something? lol #im posting this pretty late cause i couldnt finish it last night lmao #and um. spammy was like the only idea i had for awhile. so HFJSJGKF she's here too #anyway completely unrelated but im at a super fucking annoying party rn pray 4 me ♡ #vanessa

[melbush]

can we please talk about sam “unapologetically butch” jones now? revival series companion characterisation rests on her (and aces and charleys) shoulders. she’s bisexual. she’s a political activist. she makes grown middle aged men mad when they read the books. she’s an actual flawed character. she has a severe case of ‘i can fix him’ syndrome with everyone. she cut a tracker out of her own shoulder. she died and came back to life multiple times. there are two of her. she is the most companion companion ever. she has a complicated relationship with the doctor. she owns a meep plushie. she stayed with sarah jane smith for a while. she’s a space-time anomaly. did i mention she’s bisexual

#average post from sam jones’ pr manager #doctor who #i was thinking about her all last night as i tried to sleep #sam jones #samantha jones #eighth doctor #edas #eighth doctor adventures #expanded universe #extended universe #text #memes

[privjoker]

lovers or friends desire two things.

#in honor of mitch assisting on austons 50th goal last night #which could mean nothing #i tried so hard to find who made this excerpt but literally nothing wpild come up #i think its just from an old tumblr post tbh #toronto maple leafs #1634 #mitch marner #auston matthews #ausmitch

[necrowtic]

#garlic speaks #im going to reblog this poll so much warning you in advance #i want. my data #if everyone is niceys to me and reblogs it ill reblog it less (🥺🥺🥺) #ive tried to scale this post better than that one from last night but i do still have to clump all of a million + into one answer sorry :(

[elsannafondue]

that corset + trousers look for the stage musical really is something, isn't it?

(sketch to commemorate my maybe-return to the fandom + nostalgia is this a midlife crisis???)

#elsanna #arencest #elsanna fanart #icest #elsa x anna #mine #my art #i tried posting last night but nothing showed up in the tag lol

[solcorvidae]

I've been thinking about how Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt all deal with the trials and how it shapes them into the people they would grow to become.

Lambert remembers his past. He is angry, upset, bitter, and vindictive. He's got this fire in him that is only stoked by the pain and suffering forced upon him. He remembers the boys who did not make it: the hell they all had to go through, and he has a complicated relationship with Vesemir that surrounds it. Lambert does questionable things that Geralt is bothered by in his grief and anger. Geralt calls him out for killing in cold blood, needlessly and mercilessly.

Lambert avoids Vesemir at Kaer Morhen and mocks him when he is not around. He may come off as childish and like an asshole, but Lambert knows what he feels. Lambert doesn't lash out because he can't control his emotions or because he doesn't understand the path of least resistance. He knows. He chooses to avoid conflict with Vesemir at Kaer Morhen by keeping out of his way. He knows he can't control his emotions effectively if he is face-to-face with him for too long. He knows, and he isn't stupid.

Lambert talks to Geralt about the trials and the injustice of it all. He probably looks up to Geralt, hoping his brother feels just as angry about it as he does. He went through the Trial of the Grasses twice for Christ's sake! Why is he not more angry? Why is he so apathetic?

And Geralt brushes him off time and time again. Such is life, is his attitude. We all went through it, he says. Geralt can't be upset because there is nothing he can feasibly do about it. He didn't choose to be a Witcher. He wouldn't have chosen this life. He would have some other job somewhere else, just like he told Regis. He can't change the past. He can't go back and fix something he never had control over in the first place. Besides, they can’t inflict the trials upon a new generation of kids, not anymore. It’s in the past now, so why dwell on it? What’s done is done and thank god no other kids have to suffer the way they did. It’s over. It’s time to move on.

Geralt doesn't enjoy fame. He tells Eskel this in To Bait a Forktail. Geralt is the famous twice-grassed White Wolf. He is The Witcher. The famed Geralt of Rivia. He has expectations piled upon him the size of mountains. He's got to be the perfect Witcher, he's got to be a loyal brother, a lover, and a best friend… Geralt had expectations put upon him that set him aside from the rest since he was a kid. He hates it. Underneath the banter and the wit, Geralt accepts that this is his life, but that doesn't mean he likes it. He tolerates it because it is his reality and nothing more. If he thinks about it for too long… maybe it will consume him.

"You remember her?" he asks Eskel about his mother.

Unlike Lambert, Geralt hardly knows what it means to live another life. He doesn't have that following him like it does with his brother. What little he remembers is not enough to erase the apathy drilled into him at such a young age. Maybe he has a more strict moral code than say, Lambert, (or if you want to bring in the other Witcher schools, most of the Cats and the caravan) but that doesn't make him the most ethical person on the Continent. How could you be? After all that he has endured, the things he was taught? Where do you draw the line? He kills monsters, but like in Velen, it's hard to see where the line's drawn in the sand.

Humans are monstrous too.

Eskel, however? Maybe he's jealous. He did everything right, why shouldn’t he be? He is superiorly skilled in magic, one hell of a good Witcher. He has a reputation for it. Maybe he's not as kind as your average person, but he gets the job done. He's got a more relaxed demeanour than his brothers which reveals itself in his reputation. He's reliable. He is damn good at what he does. So why does Geralt get all the attention? The fame? He clearly doesn't want it.

While Lambert got turned into a vindictive prick and Geralt became a quick-witted nihilist, Eskel? He's exactly who he should be. Why shouldn't he be praised for it like his brother? Why should he be forced to bend over backwards to accommodate people and keep up with his reputation? For what? His skills? Ha! He lives in the shadows of Geralt who's notably a good Witcher, but he's not quite as good as Eskel.

Eskel was beaten shaped into the man he is today because of the trials, his training, and everything else. Should he not get credited for that too? Why does someone who doesn't even want his fame get all the recognition? Genetic predisposition? Shouldn't his hard work be given more consideration and praise? Thank god Geralt survived the hell of being subjected to two rounds of mutagens rather than one, but why should that overshadow the efforts, the time, and the sacrifices that everyone else around him has made? Eskel is exactly the man that they intended him to be by the end of it all. He is an efficient hunter, he is outstanding with signs, and he works diligently for his reputation. He did everything right. He does everything right. Why is that not enough?

TL;DR: Lambert, Geralt and Eskel handle their traumas in different ways. Lambert gets vengeful, Geralt gets apathetic, and Eskel gets borderline jealous. (And it breaks my heart)

#this probably doesn't make as much sense as it does in my head but I tried to write it in the most coherent way that I could #this has been gnawing at me since last night I needed to get it out of my head because its eating me alive #the witcher #the witcher 3 #geralt of rivia #eskel #lambert #eskel witcher #lambert witcher #eskel tw3 #lambert tw3 #meta post #witcher meta #sol rambles #sol scribbles

[yea-baiyi]

about hua cheng re: that conversation w xie lian about his “true appearance”, and why hua cheng freaks out when xie lian’s asks to see his real appearance — like san lang is basically his normie appearance. whereas he usually prefers to be full makeup platform heels acrylic nails. but when xie lian asks the question, he wonders if xie lian would consider his “true form” as his ugly self. (after all, that’s what most people mean when they ask for someone’s true form — they mean their original human appearance). but the way xie lian phrased it makes it clear that it’s about being open and comfortable with each other, not about some demand for truth. which reassures hua cheng not only that xie lian will like him no matter his true appearance, but that he would accept hua cheng’s chosen appearance as his “true self” because it’s how he truly sees and portrays himself, rather than his original appearance. xie lian’s words assure him that it’s not the Honesty or the Original appearance that matters, just that he’s aware that san lang is a facade for his benefit and he’d rather see hua cheng the way he prefers to appear.

#hua cheng #tgcf #hualian #meta stuff #trans hua cheng #my hyperfixation demon #just posting the whole thing as i wrote it last night #tried to rework it but tbh my friends understood the original just fine so. #anyway it’s relevant that when most stories - including tgcf!! - refer to a monster or ghost’s ‘true form’ #they mean their original human form!! #so it’s reasonable that hua cheng thinks that’s what xie lian is asking for!! which is terrifying to him!! #because that form is traumatising and not what he identifies with!! #but also he wants to be honest with xie lian he doesn’t want to lie or deny his request #but xie lian’s response makes it clear he’s not asking for. radical vulnerability or hua cheng’s trauma #he just wants hua cheng to be comfortable!! #because he knows san lang’s appearance is a disguise for his benefit #he just wants hua cheng as he prefers to appear!! #and that’s why hua cheng starts laughing in relief #because of course xie lian just wants hua cheng as he is #god god god he’s so transgender for this he really is #hee really my hyperfixation demon forreal this just suddenly came to me. while i was watching cql