#but long letter threads ........................ hi . my weakness
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VARIOUS AND PRECIOUS (MOMENT OF INERTIA)!
what love is to them
gender neutral reader
NAGI SEISHIRO!
when you pamper him!
It’s easy for people to dismiss Nagi as a lazy genius who does little to fend for himself, but deep down, you know that there’s more to Nagi than the sleepy boy most people dismiss. He’s someone who wants a lot of love, having fended for himself living alone for most of his life, and if there’s someone who’s willing to feed him the affection he’s been lacking so long, of course he latches on like bees to honey. All Nagi ever wants to do is to sidle up next to you while you work or fold laundry and melt into your touch when you lean over to ruffle his white hair. It doesn’t take too much to make Nagi happy, but he knows for sure that nothing beats soaking up your attention like a touch-starved teddy bear. You certainly don’t have any complaints about him hogging you, especially when you’re the one enabling him.
“Give me a kiss…,” Nagi grumbles, and the boy plops his head down in your lap and sprawls his long limbs across the length of the couch. You glance up from the book you were reading, and your attention suddenly shifts away from the words on the page to the young teenager peering up at you expectantly with drooping eyes. “It’s so hard to stay awake.”
You giggle to yourself, and you set your book down to gingerly thread your fingers into Nagi’s soft hair. “Well, if it isn’t Sleeping Beauty. You’ve worked hard today at practice, haven’t you?”
He nods slowly, and his face practically glows as he soaks up your touch. You continue to stroke at Nagi’s hair, fingertips rubbing soothing patterns into his scalp. He sighs, “Mhm. I did all the training regimes that Christ Prince set up for me, and Reo made me do some passing practice with him. So much work…”
The boy clearly expects a reward for all of his efforts, and you stifle back another giggle at how adorable your boyfriend is. For being one of the most highly coveted players from the Blue Lock program, all he ever wants to do most of the time is cuddle up next to you and let the hours pass by. Who could look at such a doe-eyed, harmless sweetheart and realize that he’s the same genius striker that singlehandedly dominates the field?
You duck down carefully, and you press your lips once, twice over each of his eyelids. The corners of Nagi’s lips twitch upwards into a warm smile, and he settles down even further into your lap, happy and comfortable using you as his personal pillow.
“Happy now, Sei?” You ask quietly, tapping the tip of his nose with your pointer finger. Nagi lets his eyes flutter shut, and he pretends to think before shrugging innocently.
“Not sure,” he murmurs cheekily. “Maybe another kiss will help me make up my mind.”
ITOSHI RIN!
when you’re there for him!
Rin believes that to make it in this cold, cruel world, he has to face everything head-on and by himself. It’s how he tended to his tender, wounded heart when his older brother abandoned their collaborative dream, and it was this exact cutthroat philosophy that secured his success within the Blue Lock program. Rin is quick to weed and cut out anyone he deems as weak or unworthy of his time, but in reality, he’s nothing more than a young teenager who craves the warmth and validation of someone he admires. He needs someone to love him unconditionally, not because he can become the greatest striker and certainly not for the results he can bring. You’re the one who’ll drop everything to comfort him when he has a bad day or the only one he feels comfortable calling when he’s lonely at night. And once you’re in his arms, his bleak and frozen world seems a little bit more warm.
The clock reads 2 in the morning in bright red neon letters, yet it’s clear from the tight grip Rin has on you that your boyfriend has no intention of letting you go. There’s a horror movie playing in the background of his room, yet neither of you are paying attention to what’s happening on the screen.
“You know,” you lightheartedly begin. You’re snuggled up comfortably in Rin’s arms on his bed, cocooned in a mountain of blankets that smell exactly like him. “It’s probably not healthy for you to stay up this late. Don’t athletes have to maintain a really strict sleep schedule?”
The boy sticks his bottom lip out into a rare pout, a vulnerable side of him that he only ever shows to you. Outside of the safety of his bedroom, Rin is best known as a fearsome striker with an ice-cold heart, not showing any forgiveness to those he deemed inferior to him. Yet despite this impenetrable persona of his, the moment he called you late at night and asked if you were busy, you immediately halted whatever you were doing and practically sprinted out the door to get to his place as quickly as humanly possible.
Rin had happily welcomed you in, and it only took one look at his wide eyes and sad lips to realize how lost and lonely this poor boy was. You were more than happy to fill up the empty voids in his life, to kiss him and hold him and remind him of how loved he is, no matter how much his own brain tells him otherwise.
“I can stay up a little bit longer,” he grumbles, burying his face into the crook of your neck.
You grin, and you lovingly smooth down his black hair. “Whatever you say, buddy. You’re just saying that because you want to spend more time with me. Don’t worry, Rin. I’m not going anywhere.”
You hope Rin memorizes that promise. He loves you so, so much. And it’s this kind of quiet, endearing affection that makes Rin fall for you all over again.
MICHAEL KAISER!
when you don’t care if he lives or dies!
Kaiser is so, so, so horribly used to getting what he wants. Fans throw themselves at his feet in awe of him, and with just one well-timed show-stopping smile, he could make anyone fall in love with him easily. As a famous superstar, Kaiser knows he could have anybody he wants by his side: celebrities, socialites, the upper echelon of people that you could only dream about. Except his issue is that he’s fallen madly in love with you, and you physically couldn't care less about the arrogant blond who’s more of a thorn in your side than he is impressive. For the first time in his life, Kaiser has to work incredibly hard to win your favor, and as much as it frustrates him, it makes him fall even harder in love with you. Kaiser is nothing if not determined, so he’ll work through all of your sharp glares and prickly insults to win your coveted heart.
“Do you enjoy annoying me that much?”
Kaiser never knew being insulted like this could make him swoon. Not ever in a million years would he dreamt that someone who held his favor could treat him so callously, and never in a million years would he have dreamt that his heart would swell and skip a beat at that treatment. There are absolutely no signs of warmth on your clearly pissed off face, yet it makes the blond’s face heat up to see you glowering at him.
“I’m not annoying you,” he coos, attempting to step closer to you. You expertly step away from him, refusing to let him come any closer to you than necessary. Kaiser’s hurt, but at the same time, it excited him endlessly. “Any normal person would be honored to be graced by my presence!”
You roll your eyes at him, and your voice is tinged with such disgust when you acknowledge him. “Consider me abnormal then. I’m not quite jumping for joy at the thought of someone like you tailing me around.”
Everyone thought he had lost his mind when he admitted that he was falling for you. Admittedly, Kaiser thought it was crazy too: why have someone as unimportant and insignificant as you when he can have anyone he wants in the world? But it’s this exact roughness that makes him weak in the knees and leaves him breathless. He wants to see more of you, to see what it would take to make you melt under his touch and desire him as much as he desires you.
“Someone like me?” He repeats playfully. He wiggles his eyebrows, and he lowers his eyelids seductively to bat his long lashes at you. How many countless sleepless nights had he spent perfecting his appearance in hopes that you’d pay attention to him! “Someone as handsome as me? As sexy as me? As perfect as me?”
You scrunch your face up as if you had eaten something sour. “No! You’re the exact opposite of that!”
The German laughs heartily, and he stares adoringly at you with the kind of persistent tenacity that leaves the two of you in this oddly flirty song-and-dance. “There’s absolutely no need to play so hard to get, darling! One day, I’ll get you to admit how much you love me!”
“In your dreams, Kaiser!”
NOEL NOA!
when you do your best for him!
Noel understands that he’s not the easiest man to love. Not only is he the current greatest striker in the world, he knows that the pressure of being by his side isn’t to be taken lightly. While he loves you and cares for you in ways that he can’t describe, he’s more than aware of the sacrifices you have to make to receive his love. So he’s more than appreciative whenever you greet him with a big smile and an even bigger hug, reassuring him that no matter what life throws your way, you’ll be fine as long as Noa is there for you. Your efforts won’t ever go unnoticed around him, and he’s always quick to remind you that his heart only belongs to you. Noa is fiercely loyal, and so long as you keep your head held high, Noa will face the world bravely with you, hand in hand.
“Another early flight?” You purse your lips as you scan over his flight itinerary. The sheer amount of numbers and fine text made your head spin, and you had to blink and shake your head to clear your vision. “It’s just one thing after another for you, Noel. Your management really needs to give you a break sometimes!”
Noa had insisted that you didn’t need to come to every game that he was in. He knew you had a life of your own, and frankly speaking, even just following him around everywhere was a taxing task in it of itself. But you wanted to support your lover on every end, and you knew that by being there, that was your way of cheering him on wholeheartedly.
Noa takes the itinerary from you, and he sighs deeply at the horrid hours and his unforgiving schedule. “Again, if it’s too much, you don’t have to feel obligated to follow me-”
“-Don’t you dare start on that lecture again!” You cut him off, placing your hands on your hips. “I want to go with you. I want to go to every single game you’re in, and it doesn’t matter to me if you score a million goals or if you’re sitting on the bench. Being there for you is the least that I can do.”
Noa smiles warmly, and he pulls you close to him and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. His chest fills with pride at your determination to support him. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t like seeing you in the stands, and nothing motivated him more than to know that you’d be waiting for him after every match to embrace him with open arms and tell him how proud you were for doing his best.
“I can’t stop you if you’re dead set on coming with me. Make sure you’re packed and ready though. Clearly we won’t have much time for any leisurely activity.” His voice softens slightly, and he kisses you again. His callous hands brush yours, and he squeezes your palms adoringly. In a hushed tone he reserves solely for you, he whispers, “Thank you for always wanting to be with me.”
x
#blue lock#bllk#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#nagi seishiro#itoshi rin#michael kaiser#noel noa#x reader#my writing
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@cupcakeslushie s latest feral!leo comic has completely taken over my thoughts so here, have a written version:
.
..
Just keep walking, he tells himself as he struggles forward.
His legs are weak and each step is painful but he pushes on regardless, despite not really knowing why he should. He’s tired, hungry, and in so much pain that he’s almost numb.
But something tells him to keep going.
Voices, so familiar yet completely unknown, whisper to him in an otherwise silent world, saying:
You can do it.
You can do it.
You can do it.
So, he does.
He marches onwards through the hours, weeks, months – he doesn’t even know anymore – letting blurry memories and indistinct voices guide him through the darkest moments.
His tattered clothes provide little warmth in the freezing air and he grasps them tightly, trying to give himself even just a tiny bit more warmth. He shivers almost violently, but some part of him is relieved that he’s still doing at least that much in this cold.
Each step is an effort.
Each one harder than the last.
Just keep walking, he reminds himself.
Just keep walking, the voices echo.
And then there’s a fierce pain in his toe and he trips. He lands on the dusty ground with a hard thump, sending dust and rocks into the air. There’s a loud clatter as almost the entire contents of his makeshift bag go careening across the floor.
He growls in frustration and pain, blinking back tears.
(He can’t afford to lose more water, after all.)
He lies where he landed, exhausted, hurt, and completely unwilling to get back up again.
He isn’t sure how long he’s been laying there when he sees a flash of red in the corner of his blurred vision.
‘Come on, Leo.’ A voice says, gentle yet encouraging. ‘You gotta get up.’
But the words that should inspire him feel empty and meaningless. He cannot gain even a spark of motivation from them.
“No...” He manages to whine, voice raspy with disuse. “Tired...”
He presses his face into the ground, letting the darkness take over, and attempts to block it all out. Maybe it will all go away if he can’t see it.
But the voice persists.
‘Get up.’ He says, harsher but still kind.
He snarls, the last threads of his patience snaps. He pushes himself up, claws digging into the dirt, so he can stare his brother in the face.
“Shut up!” He spits out, words dripping with anger and pent-up frustration. He clutches his head in his hands, pressing down with so much force that his nails dig into his skin.
“Shut up! That’s all you ever say!” He yells. “Get up. Get up. Get up.” His voice his sore from lack of use but the frustration is too overwhelming to stop. He allows himself to let go of his restraint. To let the anger consume him.
“I just want some peace and quiet R-R-R-” He chokes on the word, anger dissolving almost instantly into horror. The name that should be so easy to say slips through his grasp like sand.
He looks up and realises that he can’t really recognise the face that stares back at him.
And can’t think of the name that belongs to it.
He panics.
He desperately searches through his bag, reaching desperately for the one thing he’s had since this all began.
His only flicker of hope in an otherwise hopeless situation.
His treasure.
All the while he frantically tries to remember his brothers name. But he can only get as far as the first letter, the first syllable, before he falters.
He pulls out the old and torn photograph, running a finger gently across it despite his panic.
He stares, wide-eyed at the red and green form of the turtle who he knows is his brother.
But who now stares, nameless, back at him.
“Nonononono.” He cries. “R- Rah-”
But no matter what he does, or how hard he stares, he cannot force himself through the fog that fills his brain in order to remember just one simple name.
The face in the photograph smiles at him.
‘It’s okay little brother.’
The voice, his brother, speaks again.
There is no hatred in his tone. No anger that he has been forgotten and he clings to that. To the feeling of warmth and safety.
Of home.
He closes his eyes.
He hugs desperately at himself.
His body is so numb that he can almost pretend that he isn’t alone. That he’s back where he really belongs with his family.
Safe and unharmed.
Enveloped within the warm embrace of his older brother.
“Ra-h will always be here.”
And he holds on to those words with every ounce of strength he has left.
You can do it; he tells himself once again, trying desperately to convince himself that he isn’t lying.
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Some Thread of Time
pronouns: she/her
warnings: angst
summary: It has been years since Aemond has seen his childhood companion, once attached to the hip and now mere strangers harbouring the same memories but no matter how long it's been, he can't seem to let go
wordcount: 1,343
A/N: i'm a fan of poetry so this was loosely inspired by the poem 'Two People' written from Robert M. Drake in the collection 'Empty Bottles Full of Stories', if you also like poetry then i greatly suggest it :) it also has work by one of my current favourites r.h. Sin whose poems you might have seen on my page before
divider: firefly-graphics
Professing that Aemond missed Y/n was the same as saying he missed his eye–both obvious and true. Sometimes he goes days without remembering and then one day he finds a throbbing pain buried where something is supposed to be and it feels like something is digging into him, carving out the space you or his lost eye belongs all over again. It snatches you away without as much as a caring thought. The one-eyed prince still feels the burning flame of your lingered touch always so gentle as it dips across his cheek. He might never see you again, he used to think bitterly as he curled in on himself. The day he lost more than he could bear, the day more than one part was stolen from him. Aemond knows he should let you go and so he has tried but the carefully written letters that always wind up hidden beneath a thick book in his desk never stop growing. He discovers that no matter how strong he tenses his hand against his quill, he cannot spoil the ever-flowing words that stream from him like spring rain. The inked words are never enough to reach your ears however–never sweet nor good enough. Nothing is the same since you were taken from him but he still hopes that you can sometimes hear his heart beat for you in the quiet of the night no matter how far you are. He doesn't need yours in return, he just needs you to wield his own.
His mind whirrs in the silent hall as he stands by his brother's side, hating how no one else seems as bitter as himself at the display before him. The small family that has built from far too much tradition to be considered fresh. He scowls, watching as his cousin and nephew smile at one another at the announcement of their betrothal. Aemond's jaw tightens. Not for the first time, his mind wanders to a much prettier image–a grown portrait of you with your hair loose and flowers he had picked specially for you embedded in-between the strands. The prince did not enjoy appearing weak in front of others but for you he would, he's certain, if you hadn't been sent away from him in a cruel punishment of the Gods. Once his brittle father defends his sister's wretched spawn and the hearing is dismissed, he lingers long enough to sweep his eyes across the sea of courtiers and estranged family all leave. He turns swiftly with his brother's encouragement in the gesture of a harsh slap to the back. With some shattered shard of hope left wedged in him, he had hoped you'd appear out of some mythical mist. That's what consumed his dreams some nights. Not because he had always been infatuated with you but rather because his romanticised childish vision had only managed to preserve you against all else. His father's false love had soured and his mother's gentle hand felt hard but you had stayed the sweet girl who attended to him even in his worst states. He knew that it was unlikely for you to still be his cousin's lady-in-waiting after so many years but he hoped you hadn't wed, that you hadn't been moulded to bear children yet. For now he could rest without the last shred of his childhood ruined.
Perhaps he should have fought more, he thinks as he trails the dark stony halls of the castle he is supposed to call home. A thread of silver wrapped tightly around his barely beating heart, squeezing it as he turns the doorknob and pushed through. After entering, he slams the door back closed behind him. His fingers tremble as he reaches for a quill and drops himself haphazardly onto his chair. They then snatch and splay out parchment with the entitlement that it was only waiting for his rough hands and gentle words to breathe with the life of his whispering memories. Aemond didn't like to think that she left him, it hurt too much to consider she would do that but part of him is grateful that an untainted image of her can still burn as bright as the stars strewn in her eyes. Still, he selfishly longs to feel your presence but refuses to accept the very real possibility that you have forgotten him. Aemond knows that he is no longer the young sweet prince without friends–though two of those facts still prevail–he is different to the boy you once knew and he is happy to accept that you too will no longer be the same squeamish girl who despite her own disgust with gore, wiped back the tears off his cheek as blood poured from his wounded face. Aemond thinks of you, misses you, dreams of you even if he knows the likelihood that you are thinking also of him is low because it is worth it to hold onto the remaining scrap of innocence. The innocence you both had to leave behind. He only manages to leave his desk to attend a horrific family dinner awaiting him–only then can he dismiss you briefly from his thoughts.
As the dusk turns to the streaming and golden dawn of his bedroom his mind paints a sweet artwork of his childhood, one of the rare moments he could capture effortlessly. A fluorescent drawing of pink and orange flowers weaved into your braids and his hand holding tight to your warm one. He wanted to show you the royal gardens and who were you to deny him? There, he had taught you to dance and the feel of his own heartbeat tapping your feet to the ground on bare feet as you had insisted. You wanted to feel the earth beneath your souls and who was he to deny you? He wonders sometimes if that was the day that everything changed. He does not regret it but instead secures it safely in a glass bottle cast not into the ocean but rather his mind for him to only succumb to when he cannot blame himself for your disappearance from his life.
He spars the next morn with a surprising spring to his step and he can tell that people are curious as he refrains from squaring his shoulders and tensing his taut stomach. Instead, his shoulders are loose and his face awfully tranquil. His feet carry him with soft steps rather than aggressive slaps against the harsh stone floor. Aemond still has his usual sense of purpose however as he echoes through the corridor. Finally he reaches his personal squire and thrusts a parchment into his hands. The younger boy's eyes widen in surprise and his lips part in uncertainty. "For Lady L/n. I want these to reach her as soon as your horse will take you and I want you to follow this map so that you can present her with these flowers alongside it. Do you understand? They must be fresh." Aemond's voice does not contort into domineering, instead he is focussed and gentle. His stare however remains fixed on the squire who nods furiously. Neither can remember the last time Aemond Targaryen sent anyone a letter. Once the boy is given a dismissive nod and hurries off, Aemond can be let go of a shuddering breath and so he does although it struggles to soar from his lungs. He is firm that the flowers be fresh because he cannot believe yet that the care between you both has wilted. In fact he refuses to but neither of you yet know what is to come from this letter nor the feelings that he has finally released. He hopes that you have not forgotten the foolish promises of children half-grown. He hopes you remember the sliver of thread you once used to wrap around your ring fingers with a feeble attempt at vows. He hopes you can find the inspiration to return to him, no matter how staggering the path you both shall face.
To find your way back home.
#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen fic#aemond x reader#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x you#aemond targaryen ff#aemond targaryen fanfic#aemond x fem!reader#aemond imagine#aemond targaryen imagine#aemond x you#hotd ff#hotd fanfic#house of the dragon#house of the dragon ff#house of the dragon fanfic#hotd#hotd imagine
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10 lines fic tag game
Taken from @kuroko99 <3
Rules: Pick any ten of your fics, scroll roughly to the midpoint, pick a line (or three), and share it. Then tag ten people.
A Thousand Lifetimes Away - [Lout of the Count's Family; Pygmalion & Galatea AU ]
It's a measure of an artist’s devotion to a dream, to an ambition. It's a sort of love letter, written to a craft. Rok Soo uncovers his masterpiece from the blank slate of a marble block and it comes to life beneath his fingertips. He reveals the curves of a smile, bright and joyous, the bend of an arm, strong with lean muscle. He uncovers the form of a dancer this time, alive even while frozen mid-step. There is power in their stance and a mesmerizing confidence in their expression.
2. Together we start (alone as we are) - [Lout of the Count's Family; Theseus and the Minotaur rewrite of sorts]
For Cale, forgiveness is a battle. A desperate inhale of air to his lungs. It's a struggle, difficult like the maze had been. He chases it like he had once desperately followed the delicate threads of string towards a path leading out of looming walls and perpetual darkness.
Forgiveness is the blood thrumming inside his veins and the desperate plea for survival.
3. Starfire souls and their supernova counterparts - [Eleceed; character study of Jiwoo and Kayden]
Jiwoo is the aftermath of a dying star, something murky, flickering, and barely holding on. He’s been holding on for years now, since that day when he had sat on the floor of the play area, panting and confused, and his friends, and classmates had called him a monster.
4. slowly, slowly, our branches intertwine. - [Weak Hero; Suho x Sieun]
Sieun was a spot of unfazed calm, he just looked up at Sooho and had just bluntly reprimanded him for fighting in the class. Somewhere within those eyes, Sooho had not been seen as a threat, had not been deemed dangerous. It was addicting, being under that gaze, being examined by Sieun, being looked at like he was allowed to bring Sieun back to the present, back from the middle-distance-singularity onto which Sieun’s focus usually hovered. That feeling of cool silk poured off his form, a tangible gaze that studied him and then concluded. What was it that Sieun had seen in that moment? Did he hate it? Did he like it?
5. Give it back! - [See You, My King]
A pained mix of a yell and a sob caught in his throat, grief pouring over him like a waterfall. Within minutes of watching the statue crumble to dust; ending up here in the past and then passing out after being taken away with a stab wound- He had never really processed it all. Now, with the knowledge that his statue existed in the form of a tyrant who did not know him and had nearly killed him. The knowledge that he was trapped in the past and had no real way home. He couldn’t stop the tears from overflowing, his struggling limbs fell limp like a puppet with its strings cut.
“Please, give him back” he sobbed, muffled against the ground.
6. reverence - [Psycho Revenge; Seongbin x Sejin; NSFW]
Seongbin shivered under the weight of that gaze, of the solemn vow and the intimacy of this moment. It was something beyond their bare skin or their proximity, something beyond the fact that Seongbin had willingly given up part of his mobility or that he had even allowed someone into his home. It was the certainty in Sejin’s eyes and the constancy of that promise. It was the fact that it was just them, no masks, no screens between them, just the scared, lonely kids they were deep down inside. The vow of someone promising to stay in the one way his family no longer could, long gone and merely memories lost to time. It was the fragile petals of hopeful irises and tentative affectionate zinnias blooming in his chest, their satin petals brushing against his lungs with every breath.
7. under the cover of your light - [Lout of the Count's Family; AlCale as Patrochillies] WIP
“My mother called me Roksu,” he says one day, voice hoarse from disuse. “She told me that it meant to always grow green, even in winter”
Achilles is quiet for a long moment before he speaks. “Sometimes, my mother calls me Alberu” he offers, an unspoken olive branch. “It means power, I think.” and it’s an olive branch returned, it’s a start.
8. I don't want the sun to burn without you - [Lout of the Count's Family; Ancient Greek AU]
He will never understand the unmaking, the sacrifice it truly is to be mortal and yet love a god. He can't because he is not mortal. He is divine and that means he will never understand the satisfaction of a lifespan, the breadth of one's tree rings, and the records of your memory. He can't see the value of the fleeting because he has never been so.
9. I'm sorry that you have to have a body - [Lout of the Count's Family; Trans!Cale]
Calypso had taken a kitchen knife to her locks and somehow managed to saw off a good fifth of it. It was jagged and uneven, loose strands curling at varying lengths and sticking to her damp skin as she fought against the hands holding her down. “LET ME GO” she screamed, the tendons of her neck visibly jumping as she yanked on her wrists. Calypso’s hands are tight around the handle of a knife even as her wrists are captured by her maids and they attempt to make her let go of the blade.
“Calypso!” Deruth yelled, fear and anger condensing into a nauseating stone in his stomach.
She stops, and their eyes meet.
In a startlingly horrible moment of clarity, he realizes that he doesn't know how to talk to her anymore.
10. Yours, Love or Sacrifice - [Lout of the Count's Family; Gladiator AU]
Sometimes, when she thought he wasn't looking, Mother’s eyes had gone dull and unseeing, the smile she always gave Roksu faded, and she looked like a corpse relearning to move. It had terrified him at the time and left him with nightmares of the day she never woke again. Now, he can think back to those moments and understand. Because Mother had never wanted a child, had never wanted to live as she did. She was a slave just as Roksu was now, and he had been her shackle.
Roksu was a curse from the moment he was conceived because he was never meant to happen.
Roksu does not know who his father is; perhaps, his mother didn't either.
Goddamn that took a while to compile, lets not talk about how I consistently have excerpts longer than 3 sentences.....
I'm going to be honest Idk if I know 10 writers on tumblr... soooo if you see this then you have been tagged?
#writing community#fanfiction#fanfic#lout of the count’s family#psycho revenge#neon revenge#Eleceed#weak hero#weak hero class 1#See you my king#fanfic challenge#excerpts#writing inspiration
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hi my love, for the ask game
40. 41. 42. 43. 😘
Thanks for playing with me Skye 💚
Favorite memory: hmmm I've shared this once before but it is a favorite memory
My sweet bride is trans, and when we met she was mostly presenting male (though this was before the term was coined, she identified as bi gender).
We had a mutual friend, that I had known since 1st grade, and she met in college.
We started hanging out as a group when they would come down from school and I became smitten while at a Renn Faire she was cute and funny… we went rock climbing that weekend too. Her college was an Outdoor Ed school and while home they got some new equipment at REI, including a new harness that buckled different than they were used to. So I got strapped into it and repelled down to where she was… I started to unbuckle but something wasn’t right, so she tried to help, our friend who had helped me into it had threaded the straps incorrectly, luckily it was stuck instead if me falling out of it, so anyway my honey was trying to work at it.
(At the time I didn’t not know I was bi, she is presenting male and I did know she was trans, my friend had told me)
So she is this outdoor ed major who is climbing, camping etc all the time … she was trim and strong, with an Adonis belt (a weakness of mine), and longish dark brown curls. She is standing inches from me, and tugging at these straps at my hips, pulling me closer, and the waistband of my jeans are kind of going with the harness so I can see right down my pants I was a little embarrassed, but other feelings were overriding the embarrassment (luckily I had some cute undies on) and I was assuming she could see too, but she was very polite because that was when she gets down on her knees in front me to work on this harness without looking straight down, I am literally holding her shoulders and her face is right at my belly… it was the hottest fkng thing that had ever freaking happened to me up to that point in my life.
She eventually gets it off me, she stands and we are just looking to each other, feeling the intimacy and tension on the moment then in unison we look up at the top of the rock and the friend who put me in the harness, I swear he was looking at us like ‘you’re welcome.’
Anyways she goes back up to school, and she was seeing someone so I knew nothing more was going to come of it…
Well, we have a few other weekends that we spend together with the group. Including coming out to me, and presenting femm and going for Chinese. She eventually breaks up with her girlfriend (gf was not okay with her being trans, was sneaking around with some other guy and my honey was beginning to like someone else- psst that me).
And she tells our mutual friend that she likes me and would she be like her 8th grade friend and ask me if I like her. And I told our friend to tell her I did.
Okay so this is all before email and cell phones, when we called on landlines we had to pay for long distance by the minute… so we wrote long hand-written letters, and sent them snail mail. And called once or twice a week, but we had to be careful with how long we talked.
Relationship status: married (a long long time!)
Favorite book(s): The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon (Stephen King), We Have Always Lived in the Castle (Shirley Jackson), and a certain series that makes me sad now
Favorite song of all time: Maybe I'm Amazed (Paul McCartney)
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#18 - Bonus Day! (Heart)
Continued from #11 – Bonus Day! (Hobby)
Back from another nightly escapade in Ishgard, the topic at hand for his next entry was obvious for him. Once he settled in, bags thrown in their corners and armor off and out of sight, he took a seat and began to work.
“My mother. A frail creature ready to break at the slightest wind.”
A pitiful sigh slipped past his lips, and he only just began.
“I wish for nothing but her absolute, sheer happiness; I would easily fling myself over Halone’s spear if that would be enough to ensure her happiness and health, and yet I know that would only drive her into further despair. Each visit, she greets me with the brightest smile, one that could light a man on fire. It almost convinces me that she might be fine on her own without me, though we all know that is far from the truth. The day I am finally brutally murdered, I only hope she is either strong enough to handle the news or no one tells her at all. The only reason she is the way she is now is due to my father dying like some needed hero and left her to wallow in his absence.
I suppose I could stay alive for a while longer, if only for her sake. I need only not lose my mind and throw my life away... Gods, being held by a thread for her sake. I remember having no qualms with being eaten alive or otherwise mauled some moons ago. What happened to me?
That aside, I really ought to confer with the alchemists in Ul’dah about her, to make a house visit of sorts. As loathe I am to admit it, Ul’dah has a collection of strange yet brilliant minds when it comes to medicine. There is also no harm in turning to them since those in Ishgard have yet to alleviate her weakness. Their useless prayer and incessant belittling are enough to make me run my sword through the lot of them. How satisfying that would be if I could get away with it without causing her trouble.
Speaking of, she gifted me a book. That she would fuss over something so insignificant, though I appreciate the gesture all the same. She told me that she thought I might like something to read and that a romance novel, of all books in that hobbled shop, seemed best suited for me. Why?”
He shook his head with a roll of his eyes, landing them on the selfsame book at the corner of his desk.
“Mayhap I will write a verse or two of some poetry for her as a reminder of what exactly it is I like so she can save her gil. I will read her thoughtful present, nevertheless. She did choose it expressly for myself, I may as well give it a chance. A miracle might happen where I enjoy it.
And with that, I conclude this letter. I am finding that I do quite enjoy putting my thoughts into words, even if I am the only reader for them. It being so personal and condemning deters me from sharing this anyroad so it works out in my favor.”
Closing his eyes, Mattisaux lowers his shoulders in a long-drawn breath. Unease still nestled between his brow and plagued his chest, but his thoughts arranged a bit more pleasantly than it did moments ago. For now, he had places to go and beasts to slay.
#Final Fantasy XIV#Final Fantasy 14#FFXIV#ff14#ffxivwrite#ffxivwrite2022#Mattisaux Baschet#Ishgardian#Elezen#Writing
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STRANGER THINGS SEASON 4 V1 & V2 SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT.
PERSONALS / NON-RP ACCOUNTS DNI.
UPDATED 07/07/2022 WITH NEW HEADCANONS.
okay so i’ve taken a good 24hr since i watched vol 2 to just let it sit and wait for my mind to figure this shit out. under the cut is what i’m going to be doing with max, considering she’s my most used muse here. some of this will be canon divergent for reasons i’ll list under the cut.
i’m also taking this opportunity to say here, like i’ve said over at @hcrgrove, the only max that is mikey and billy’s ( @hargrxve ) sister in their twin verse is my max unless you have plotted with both myself AND cat that this is different for your max. that’s not to say my max is exclusive to them because that’s not it at all, i have some awesome threads with other billy’s (looking @ u @turnedahero). it’s just becoming a lil problem on mikey so i figured i’d mention it.
firstly, because this (and all the billy slander in that ep) pissed me the fuck off: everything that max said about billy when luring vecna was just that, a lure. sure, she had fleeting moments in the beginning wishing that something would happen and he would disappear, but as she got to know him and what he’d been through - all of the abuse that went on through his childhood and in the home they shared together - max softened to him. she became a protector, of sorts. sure she was younger and didn’t have much of the ability to, but she stood up to neil where she could. and hey, she shared something in common with him, right ? shitty dads. he was her brother, whether they liked it or not, and especially after neil was gone, they grew closer. once she understood, she never ever thought him weak. she loves him.
everything else STILL happened. at the end of s4 vol2 max was in a coma, lost. she died in the upside down, still in vecna’s grasp. when el went into her mind, she found nothing because max wasn’t there. she’s not in there, in her own body; her spirit, soul and memories are all trapped in the upside down. vecna needs to either die, or she needs to be brought through from the upside down back into real hawkins for her to wake up. she will NOT wake up until this happens.
POST-VOL2: her friends figure it out, with the help of her brothers and eddie, and she ends up waking up. it takes a long time though, perhaps too long. when she wakes, billy, mikey and eddie are there quickly, as soon as the hospital calls them. they break the news robbie died that day, and she was in the coma for so long that the funeral has long since been and gone. (reaction drabble to come soon). her memories still fuzzy. reading the letters that she handed out whilst at risk of vecna helped to put things into place a little bit but everything is still a little bit fuzzy.
EDIT 07/07/2022: when she wakes up, there’s a lot of work before max can be released. whilst all her injuries are healed by the time she wakes up, because of the time spent in the coma she is very weak. she lost muscle mass and her bones became weaker, more brittle. until she put on some weight they kept her in a wheelchair and started with small exercises to strengthen the muscles, joints and bones. then it moved to walking aids which she used for a while, even when she first got out of the hospital. she can walk without them now, but sometimes max still struggles. she gets frustrated with it, especially considering it’s clear their fight isn’t over yet but it’s just how things are. at least she’s alive.
#st spoilers#st s4 spoilers#stranger things spoilers#stranger things s4 spoilers#verses. max mayfield
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Name: Marc
True Name: Limerick
Age and Birthday: Unknown and unknowable
Height: 5ft8
Pronouns and gender: He/They/It/Any you want really, ???? (You can mix them up, or stick to one, no skin off my ass, or its)
What they are: Fae hound. Not the kind for tracking, the kind for fighting, a war dog.
Style and Appearance: Miss matched, poorly sized, trash. Lived in for, potentially, weeks or months. Stolen off laundry lines and donation bags outside thrift stores. Midlength, thick dark hair. Not styled, left to be whatever it is. This sometimes includes matted to all hell. His fae form is a hulking mastiff-like dog. His fur moves like a shiny oil slick, a spill of deep black and occasional iridescent sheen.
Piercings and tattoos: Nope
Scars and distinguishing marks: None in human form. Along their muzzle, front legs, and thighs. They’re matte scars among the shiny fur.
FC: X
Personality: Boisterous, bouncy, loud, either really riled up, or too lazy to move.
Abilities: Can step through the fae realm, heal very quickly, incredibly strong for his size. Transform between forms. Heightened sense of smell, but it’s within the bounds of a normal dog - it just adds magic related discernment that mundane dogs don’t have. A near unrivaled bite force.
Weaknesses: Their name isn’t hard to learn, and it has stronger power over him than a lot of other fae.
Links: Headcanons - Media - Fun Stuff - Playlist - Music - Threads
Other bits and pieces:
Was the war hound to a fae knight. He liked his knight well enough, but there was no real sense of loss when they wound up dead.
Is generally distrustful of court fae.
Got his name off a band poster he saw on a wall.
They’ve got a lot of doggo in how he processes, approaches, and deals with shit. But make no mistake, he’s a fully sentient and capable humanoid. There might be stronger instincts and some tripping points, but any dismissal of him as a dumb animal will not go over well. On the same line, try to touch him without permission and get bit.
He’d never been without direction, never allowed to stop and just exist, to make a decision for himself, before he ran. It’s new to them, he’s making mistakes, and weird choices, but they’re his choices, and his mistakes.
Speech pattern is a bit of a ramshackle mess, dropped letters, strange word choices, calls everyone boss. All the time. Can’t be stopped. It almost sounds like he heard someone doing a fake accent while in a zydeco band, and then tried to replicate it to a confusing result. Because that might be what happened.
Will eat from the garbage. Will not feel bad about it. Stop looking if it grosses you out.
Long form backstory and bio (Least necessary read, you can skip these bits):
In the shitty times, Marc almomst wishes he had’t run. Either let the man who killed its knight, get them too, or let the first asshole from his court who tried to catch him, succeed.
It sucks. A lot. To be alone. To have no idea what the fuck you’re doing, or what you’re supposed to be outside the context of another person and a job.
But then, another one shows up, and all that apathy becomes fight. Pushed into any corner, that’s what he does. It’s what he was, quite literally, born to do.
Marc has no memories of a childhood, just of training. Of sharp pain and valuable rewards. A first kill, a second, and then they never stopped. Fae beasts in pits, prisoners in streets, an enemy trying to kill his knight. It didn’t matter. Point, speak, and release the leash. His entire life.
Sure, their knight wasn’t the worst, not by a long shot. And the sharp pain side of training stopped the second its knight took ownership, but it still was’t exactly a good friendship built on even ground and mutual respect. Marc’s not quite at the point of realizing all this yet, instead still seeing his knight as a person he cared about, and lost. Not fully processing that he knew it was shit enough that the second the opportunity arose, they bolted.
That opportunity happened because of Oriol. The knight was there on behalf of Rhodric. To bring Valentine back to the court, or at least bring back his body. Vali never even knew this happened, as he doesn’t know about a lot of the assassination attempts - thanks to Oriol. Ori killed the knight, despite being badly injured by Marc, and was going to kill him too, but Marc ran. He just ran.
Oriol was going to track him down, even got Felix’s help to do so, but they found the fae hound just laying in the sun, asleep and harmless. They both recognized a being in the same position they were, and give the chance to run, Oriol would, too.
Their awareness of this, didn’t stop every other court faerie dipshit who wanted to recapture the rogue hound from thinking he was a wild and dangerous beast, likely to draw far too much human attention and land everyone in trouble. They couldn’t see that he just wanted to stop for a bit.
Course, that constant fear of being hunted and caught, keeps Marc pretty much always on the move.
Wellspring is actually the safest place for it, the town’s magic makes them untrackable by usual means, and when there a particular fae wolf has a soft spot for people trying to escape court fae bullshit.
Ever seen Kitbull? That’s this bitch.
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Daisies on My Nightstand
Chapter 10- Innocence
Masterpost
AO3 Link
Summary: Ilara doesn't want to talk about what happened, or her growing suspicions.
So you do remember. She was standing in the room again, with the dark haired man. Enver. She took a step towards him. "No, I still don't remember everything, I just kn-"
He shook his head, and something like anger flashed across his face before it was gone, replaced with that eerily calm mask.
We did this. All of this. I am the one who understood you. We were to make the world bow before us. And now you are this. Weak.
"What were we?" She yelled back, taking another step forwards. "Who was I? Now I am this? What was I before this? What did I do?"
Great things. You have a promise to keep. Remember. Remember what you swore to me.
She shook her head again, dropping her hand at her side. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I... I know you were important to me but-"
Stop.
Her eyes snapped up to his. She walked forward, sinking down in front of him as he reached a hand out, tipping her chin up with the edge of his finger. He leaned in close, pressing a demanding kiss to her lips. All the air left her body, the way it had every time this had happened before. It was as if time slowed down around her, like nothing else existed except for him, his touch, his mouth on hers. She was breathless as he finally pulled away.
I will make you remember, eventually. You will see. And then we will finish what we started. She didn't even have time to respond, letting out nothing more than a frustrated cry as the room melted around her and she was brought back into the waking world.
Her head was pounding. She brought her hands to her face, groaning softly. This headache was going to last all day. It always did when she didn't listen. She couldn't place why she was grateful that this time it was just a headache.
"You're awake." His voice was soft, worried. She pulled her hands away from her face to finally see Astarion sitting a few few feet away, watching her. "I was starting to worry you might not wake up at all, pet."
"How long have I been asleep?"
"Since yesterday morning. You slept an entire day. Did you have sweet dreams?" He asked with a cheeky smile. She swallowed heavily, looking away from him. Her dreams had been drenched in blood. Her dreams had been her tearing through all of her companions, one by one, a goddess of murder as they fell at her feet and she laughed. Her dreams had been her, weaving her way through the city as she slid her dagger between ribs, laying the corpses in worship at an altar she didn't, couldn't, even remember. Her dreams had been Enver. His hands and his mouth and his breath and his promise that when she remembered they would finish this.
"I had no dreams," she said softly. They both knew she was lying, and she picked at a thread on the blanket trying to fill the silence. His cool fingers reached out, taking hers.
"Talk to me. Tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours."
She bit her lip, shaking her head slowly. He would hate her. They would all hate her. She had almost killed him. She had helped orchestrate all of this and had been keeping it from them all for days now. She had done terrible things and she wasn't even strong enough to remember them. And... Enver. What would he even think if he knew that in her dreams she was kissing him- worse, that she wanted to, trying to remember something she couldn't quite reach?
"I... Can't." Her voice came out weak, and she sighed. Of course it had.
"Please," he said softly, pressing her hand tighter into his. "Just talk to me. I won't judge you. I'm not afraid of you. Just... just talk to me."
And tell you what? That I have not only a suspicion but now proof in the form of a letter that I did this to us? To all of us? That it was my idea? What would you all think of me then? Would you still call me your darling if I told you the way the heat curled through me when I saw Enver standing on that platform? That I think I'm in love with someone who is doing this still, the man who we know sold Karlach to Zariel? That this was my grand plan, that he helped me carry out? Would you still call me good then?
"I will talk when I'm ready. I'm not.. I'm not ready yet. Can you just give me time, please?" The silence seemed to stretch between them for a moment before he wordlessly pulled her into his lap, laying her against his chest.
"That's fine. We don't have to talk now. But we will have to talk about what's going on with you. Eventually."
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Monday, August 21, 2023 @ 11:29am in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Oi amor
I am sitting now in the airport in Jeddah waiting to board my flight to Riyadh, the capital city of Saudi Arabia. Last night I told you, but I went to a shisha lounge with my tour manager and we smoked for a while, talked, and had a good time; he dropped me off to the hotel ~1:30am and I spent the rest of the night packing my things before going to bed ~3am.
I woke up this morning, got breakfast at 7:30am, and went back to sleep before being slightly late for my ride to the airport at 8:30am (I arrived with my roommate ~8:43am; we both fell asleep haha)
Thank you for continuing to commit to working on our relationship. I told you it hurts to think you truly give up on us, so I am happy to see you continue putting in effort, I think all our efforts will be worth it as time goes on.
I am half way through my tour in the Middle East: I completed the tours in Oman and Jeddah, now I just have Riyadh (10 days) and Abu Dhabi (4 days) to go before I am back home and I have you in my arms once again. When I am back, let’s spend time up in New Hampshire again for the Monday night to Wednesday morning stretch again. If the water in New Hampshire is still nice I would like to spend time relaxing by the beach with you, taking it easy, and enjoying ourselves; let’s save the hikes and exercise activities for another time.
While in the mall in Jeddah I bought you this nice piece of clothing I thought would look great on you. I can’t wait to see you wearing my gift for me, I know you’ll look lovely.
My computer is at 3% and my flight boards soon, so I will be ending this letter shortly, but I’ll write until that comes.
I love you.
I want to learn how your mind works. I want to help you feel comfortable and safe. I know I bring up things that cause you anxiety and stress, and I never intend for these reactions to happen, I am sorry, and thank you for enduring the pain I unintentionally cause you.
All I want is a happy life together. I want a happy life where we are a team and work together to address the issues and concerns that arise in one another. We will never have conflict with each other, it will never be us against one another. Always and forever we will be a team and it will be us against the concerns and problems we have.
I appreciate that you’ve made the “cartasparasean” Tumblr page. I appreciate this page because I am able to understand your mind better. I also appreciate this page because we will have this thread of thoughts and letters for a lifetime to come and maybe one day we can show our children.
Let this letter be the first in a long line of letters to come of my own, written only for you, men amor, my love, minha mulher, minha bebe.
I love you
I love you today
I love you tomorrow
I love you for every day to come
Thank you for loving me. Thank you for putting energy and attention into me and into our relationship.
Let us set goals together, explore the world, and live life to all extents, until we are long gone, and even then, let us stay together for what comes next. I love this.
I love you
I love you
I love you
Forever and always these word will be true, but just in case, I’ll remind you for as long as I can speak, and even if I cannot speak another word, I will write it out. If I can no longer write, I will wink at you, and know that this means that I love you. I love you. I love you. If I can no longer wink at you, I will look at you. Know that when my eyes rest on your lovely figure, I love you. With every second I see you I love you more. With every shifting of my gaze I am seeing you anew and falling in love with you all over again, and again, and again, for eternity.
The image of my grandfather and my grandmother comes to mind as I write this. I can see him now in his last days, ill and weak, leaning into my grandmother, closing his eyes, and loving her more and more even then. Seeing how much he cared, seeing how much love, appreciation, and care he had for her, I only hope we can recreate something similar. That was love. That was a life spent building together. That was a love and a life that will never die. Let that be us
I love you amor
I love you
I love you
I love you all the more
Thank you for loving me.
If I’m not asking too much, please love me forever. I want this. I want you. Para sempre. I love you
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SOLOMON’S SIGNET
76
Laud Him who governs governors and kings,
Angels, and Djins, and men, and living things.
WOT ye of Solomon's signet, graved of a sapphire in gold,
Graved with the great name of God, writ on the blue of the stone?
Wisdom and riches and power had he who that treasure did hold;
Safe in the strength of the signet he sate on his ivory throne.
Only King Solomon knew how the dread letters did flow,
What was the breathing of Aleph, where came the whispering Yod;
When he spake the ineffable Word, the sea-winds at bidding would blow;
And the hills yield their iron, and jewels, and gold, at the naming of God.
And out of the void of the sky, and up from the gulfs and the capes,
And forth from the caverns of earth, and down from the mountains of flame,
Flocked Demons with wonderful wings, and Ifreet of horrible shape,
And Djins, with red eyes, made of fire; Divs, Peris,
and Giants, they came.
They came, at the call of the name, from Kâf, that engirdles
the seas;
From the gloom of the tombs in the graveyard, from ruins on desolate ground;
From the pool and the marsh and the forest; from poisonous blossoms and trees;––
Monstrous or dwarfish,––constrained, enchained, subdued, by a sound;
The sound of the title of Allah, spoken so as the Angels speak:–– Nor spirits uncomely only, and evil; ethereal bands
Thronged down from their heavenly houses, the Great King's service to seek,
Hearing that nameless Name which all things living commands.
And the fowl and the beasts were fain to gather, each creature by each,
When Solomon summoned hereby, pronouncing the mystical words.
Moreover, their dumb mouths opened, and the fly and the bee had a speech;
And he knew the heart of the lions, and learned the mind of the birds.
Thus is it writ how he marched by Tayf from the Syrian land
Through the "Valley of Ants" and heard the cry of that people of clay,
"Hide ye! hide in the earth! for there passeth Solomon's band;
We are many and wise, but we die, if the king's foot cometh this way,"
And he laughed, but leaped to the ground, and bowed his forehead and said,
"O Lord God! grant me to learn from the ant the wit to be meek.
I am many and strong, and a king; yet Thou canst instantly tread
The pride of this earth to dust, and the strongest to
Thee are but weak!"
Then he viewed the birds, and cried, "I see not
amongst ye here
Al-Hudhud, the crested lapwing; what doth she to
linger away?
Ill shall it fall for her, who seeketh us water clear,
If she find not a fountain for prayers before the ending of day!
But they tarried not long until the whirr of her speckled wings
Brought unto Solomon's feet the crested lapwing, who spake,
"I have seen a queen that is greater than any save thee,
O King!
In Seba she reigneth majestic, and glorious kingship doth make.
"There hath she a marvellous throne of silver, figured with gold,
And the head of the throne is a moon in a jasper and emerald curve,
For her people worship the moon." And Solomon answered, "Behold!
Little bird! if thou liest not, this queen shall the Merciful serve!"
Thereafter the message went from the servant of God,
the king:
“Solomon, son of David, to Balkis, queen of the south:
Peace be to them that follow the Name upon Solomon's
ring;
Yield thee, and worship Allah; cursed is the idola-
trous mouth."
Then Balkis sent him gifts, of gold bricks, yellow and
red;
And beautiful slaves five hundred, with amber and
musk; and a gem
Drilled with a crooked hole, which never a goldsmith
could thread;
And a topaz of price, unpierced, and a diamond
diadem.
He bade the sea-worm eat a way through the unpierced
stone;
And the little ant carry a thread through the ruby's
crooked drill.
"Doth she offer to Solomon gifts?" quoth he, on his
ivory throne,
"We are richer than Seba's kingdom! By Allah!"
said he, "I will
"That one of my slaves bring hither Queen Balkis'
jewelled seat;
Thereby she shall learn that the glory is ours, and
the knowledge and might."
Then Asaf the wise commanded, and a Djin spread
his pinions fleet,
And brought the moon-throne thither, and set it before
them aright.
In a guarded house she had shut it, which a thousand
bowmen kept,
But when she was come to Salem, lo! Solomon the
king
Sate there on her own gold seat, and Balkis bowed her
and wept,
Saying, "I pray thee, teach me the Name on thy
signet ring!
"We have sinned against our souls, following lower
Lords;
Our kingdom we give, and our goods, and our lives,
and our spirits to thine."
Such worship had he of old who knew Al-Wâlî's words
Which rule the rulers, and knew the sound of the
Name Divine.*
Ya Wâlî ! Gracious Lord ! impart
True knowledge of Thee, as Thou art.
*Cf. Korân, XXVII. chapter "Of the Ant."
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— february 19 - 25
this week: introduction to my process ; new chapter playing with the gods ; shifting to the next step ; time to think about preorder incentives
So…hi! I’ll be keeping a log of my process and methods here, for future me—and hopefully to inspire/help others with ideas on how to tackle their editing.
(And maaaayyybe creating some interest for this book? Who knows!)
Deep Roots is in the final-ish stages. Final structural edits and, for some sections, final line edits/proofing (it’s a pretty long book, so everything has been moving at a slightly different pace).
My tactic this round is to break out the highlighters as well as the pen.
(I cannot emphasize the importance & ease of doing edits like this in a physical copy. I got mine from Lulu.)
Highlighting:
Deep Roots is dense as hell—at least, the densest book I’ve ever written. Lore, realms, religion, two centuries of emotional & relationship & world history for two key characters…a level of technology I’ve never tackle before…twists & reveals that depend on the reader remembering specific information…
And it’s also super repetitive.
So I’m highlighting each scrap of information I doled out to cut down on repeated info AND make sure readers are learning at a steady pace. Pink for Irving’s backstory, blue for religion or the gods, green for the history of the kingdom, so on and so forth.
It also helps me see when I’m interrupting myself (or my characters) to drop exposition, or when scenes are 90% exposition and nothing else.
This was super helpful when I decided to turn a fact of my MC’s backstory into a surprise reveal. I just had to search for the pink highlights and chop accordingly.
Line editing:
I’m up to chapter 15 on line editing. Halfway through that process, I tore through two editing advice books and returned to my old documents full of advice & tactics.
And you can really see the difference. All those strike-throughs! I’m a pretty chatty writer and have been trying to fix that in as many ways as possible through my many projects and many edits.
Some basics I’ve really been trying to remember this time:
- stop interrupting your dialogue with exposition, beats, tags, or unneeded exchanges. Let those conversations flow!
- if a sentence gives you the SLIGHTEST “ehh…” feeling, cut it without mercy
- end the chapters much earlier, and start them much later, than your first instinct tells you to
But I’ve also been trying to remember that my chattiness can’t vanish entirely or else I’ll be editing this for another year, which I cannot do. Spring 2023 release was a threat against myself…
Brainstorming/mapping:
Right now it’s character arc fix time. Irving’s is pretty fine, just with some minor weak spots I can polish up. Eirjatal’s is…my dude, what are you doing?? It’s one that got knocked around by plot changes the most, so his sanity appears to be held on by a mere thread.
— new chapter!
The god is emanating from the statue. Much stronger than expected. They’re shown with the head turned so both faces can be seen in profile from the front, with hands crossed, one flexed into a rune for end, the other for beginning. What world were those from? This world began with letters and words instead; Karadenza wanted to see how that would work, so she began this world with wheels and cobblestone roads and welded metal and the written word.
“Chiroscuroi,” she greets. Chiroscuroi likes presentation and incense, but it would be too rude to do that if the Blind Adder followed up with her plan. Now that would be gauche. So, just, again, “Chiroscuroi.”
A consistent issue in this book has been long stretches of conversation and an overall “slow burn” on plot. I decided that the quicker I signal to the readers that there is a wider world outside of this castle and there’s a plan going on with the gods, the better.
I keep trying to cut word count but sometimes sacrifices gotta be made—more words for more context. /headdesk
— preorder incentives?
The chaos of self-publishing is really making itself apparent now. Once upon a time it was all about writing and forging social media connections.
Now it’s like—oh I need a Goodreads page. Oh to do that I need my cover. Oh to do that I need an artist and then a designer (though I was super lucky and got an artist who did both!). Oh I should get my BookFunnel. Oh I’ll need an Amazon page, so I need an ISBN. I can’t have the preorder without—preorder goodies oh no oh god oh shit i have to make them AND THEN manufacture them?! Then SEND THEM?!
I’ve always known one thing I can do for sure is stickers! I can draw well enough and there are nearby manufacturers. So that’s at least one thing I know for sure, though I’m tossing around ideas for a second thing that isn’t going to take too much time or break the bank.
Task in the next couple days is to draw those, get my fabulous writing group to tell me what works and doesn’t work, and then have the final files by the next time I post this editing diary.
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Whumptober 2022 Master Post!
Well, some things didn't go as planned, and there were a lot of catch-up days, but here we are! 44,562 words, 17 fics, 31 days!
A couple of stories will have future chapters, but the primary Whumptober entries are finished.
Read the whole series on AO3
Tumblr post list under the cut:
No. 1: This Wasn't Supposed to Happen (One Piece)
In which Roronoa Zoro has a surprisingly normal weakness, and Tony Tony Chopper vows to never give him medicine ever again.
No. 2-6: The Walrider (Supernatural x Outlast) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)
An investigation brings the Winchesters to Mount Massive Asylum, a supposed research hospital deep in the Colorado mountains. But what they thought was a run-of-the-mill exorcism turns into a terrifying tour of hell on earth as they come face-to-face with the inmates of a place built to feed off of their worst nightmares.
And deep at the heart of it lies something ancient and dark, waiting for its chance to walk the earth again.
No. 7: The Way You Shake and Shiver (Fire Emblem: Three Hopes)
All Felix wanted was to have some time alone to think about his brother. Instead he finds himself sharing the burden of grief with Sylvain, as they've both faced loss of family in one way or another.
No. 8-12: Nice Day for a...Wait for It (Supernatural: The Flare 'Verse) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)
Sam and Eileen's wedding is just a few days away, and Dean and Castiel join them for some relaxation at the hotel before the ceremony. But Winchester Luck strikes again, and they find themselves at the center of disaster as secrets are uncovered. Cas has gotten stronger since the ritual that tore his grace away and left him human, but will it be enough when he's targeted by a malevolent spirit?
No. 13 / 30: Can't Make an Omelet Without Breaking a Few Legs (One Piece) (No. 13) (No. 30)
During battle, Sanji is captured and tortured mercilessly for information about the Germa 66 fleet. Help is on the way…if he can just hold on. (Part 3 coming soon)
No. 14-18: Thicker Than Water (Fire Emblem: Three Hopes) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)
Three weeks ago, Margrave Gautier ordered Sylvain to find Miklan and recruit him for the war effort. He hasn't been seen or heard from since.
Now, Felix and Shez race to find him before Miklan finally does away with his brother for good…or worse.
No. 19: Enough is Enough (Supernatural)
It was there, face-to-face with the devil, while Lucifer stared at him out of Cas's blue eyes, that Dean finally realized the truth. Maybe they weren't so different…and maybe that was the real problem.
No. 20: It's Been a Long Fucking Day (Critical Role: Campaign 3)
The good news: Dorian's back!
The bad news: he's been kidnapped.
The worse news: Ashton's the hostage negotiator
...I'm sure they have things under control.
No. 21: Famous Last Words (My Hero Academia)
Midoriya wasn't entirely sure how he'd been talked into this, but here he was with Kacchan, Todoroki, and Kirishima hunting for ghosts at an old farmhouse. It was just one haunted house…what could possibly go wrong?
No. 22: Pick Your Poison (Supernatural: The Flare 'Verse)
The hits just keep coming. Cas comes down with an unknown stomach bug, but at least the Winchesters are there to take care of him.
No. 23: At the End of Her Rope (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
A letter from a relative has Ingrid spiraling into despair and uncertainty about her lot in life. At least she has good friends to lean on in times like this.
No. 24: Fireworks in Reverse (Supernatural: The Flare 'Verse)
“To know the weave of the universe and then be forced into a single thread.” He swallowed, shuddered, and finally focused on Dean again. “I used to be the size of your Chrysler building,” he added in a whisper.
No. 25: Silence is Golden (Supernatural)
“This is Heaven’s mercy, Castiel,” Michael said. Cas lay stunned beneath his foot, eyes wide and darting, throat trickling blood. “Be grateful that I have left you this much.”
No. 26: No One Left Behind (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
Annette is gravely wounded in battle. All seems lost, but her king is there to save the day.
No. 27 / 29: Pushed to the Limit / What Doesn't Kill Me... (Critical Role: Campaign 3)
After a harrowing battle, the Bell's Hells escape by the skin of their teeth. Wounded and exhausted, they turn to the one safe place they have to lick their wounds and get some rest.
After all, how bad could it be to sleep in the portable hole?
No. 28: It's Just the Tip of the Iceberg (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
Ashe has a headache, but it's never just a headache. It's pain, and fear, and isolation, and knowing he's a fraud. It's doubt, and self-loathing, and the need to be left alone mingled with the desire to be comforted. And into that twist of thought and terror walks Dedue, a gentle anchor to pull Ashe back into himself.
No. 31: Light at the End of the Tunnel (Supernatural)
Dean has one last chance to rescue Castiel from the Empty. (Parts two and three coming soon)
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* fortnite dances on dash * plot long threads with me
#i crave them like 24/7 but lord knows i can only handle like 3 at a time#LIUDSFHLRTEIUHJGFDNHSJKGFD i lovoeeeee long threads im just slow . oops#but long letter threads ........................ hi . my weakness#tbd//#⁎ ⋆ -ˋˏ❝ ooc.
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[18+] Filthy Summer - Rengoku Kyojuro x GN!Reader (AFAB)
[No pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18] [AFAB Reader]
Words : 6710
Archive of our own
Follows the work of Gentle Summer or can be read on its own.
Synopsis : On a heated summer night, you and Rengoku decide to finally fuck after a pretty intimate moment.
Warning : Oral Sex / Light Bondage / Cunnilungus / Creampie / Cum play / Hair-Pulling / Power play / Marking / Aftercare / Fluff / Smut / Penis in vagina sex
If you feel like I should add more warnings, let's go gang.
- - -
A comfortable silence had set in the night. I thought I would be exhausted. Wrapped in the safety of his arms, I was certain I would fall asleep in an instant, but my body did not want to listen to logic. Something else was doing the thinking, and that was my lust. My need for him. The moon outside was illuminating the inside of the room beautifully. I could not see much of Rengoku’s face because the light of the moon cast a shadow on it. The flame of the lantern had long since died out.
I brushed my hand delicately on his cheek and sighed in silence. There was nothing I could do to satiate that need that had built up inside me; he had fallen asleep almost instantly after laying down. It seems I was the only one who was left frustrated and wanting, it’s a shame, I thought I had done a great job at riling him up, I thought in disappointment. The image of his eyes widened in surprise and the feeling of his tight grip around my hand were carved inside my mind. No matter how hard I tried, I could not stop thinking about it.
Carefully, I brushed my thumb over his lips and smiled to myself as I moved his hand to rest it on my hip. Maybe his presence would help me fall asleep, maybe he would bring me closer and hold me tight and that would calm my stupidly awake mind. Closing my eyes once again, I tried to force myself to think of something other than his lips on my skin, or his hands on my stomach, or even his breath against my ear—it’s not working, it is like asking someone to not imagine a red balloon. Of course, they will think about it, I reprimanded myself as I opened my eyes again. “I need a cold bath, surely it will help,” I mumbled to myself. It was barely audible, and clearly not enough to awake anyone.
When I was about to move Kyojuro’s hand, I felt the grip tighten, “Where are you going?” His voice was nowhere close to sleepy, the clarity of it surprised me more than anything. Looking at him, I chuckled nervously and asked, “Were you not asleep?” He hummed deeply, thinking of his next words as his hand slid down my leg. He brought it over his thigh and moved his face closer to mine, our foreheads almost touching. “One can hardly sleep with how loud your thoughts are, my love,” I was about to ask what he meant when he pressed a slow kiss on my lips before continuing, “I am very flattered that you cannot keep my hands off of you.” His hands slithered to my kimono, the moonlight helping him see what he was doing. He chuckled softly at the knot I had tied around again and undid it effortlessly.
“Did you think tying it close would help those lewd thoughts that are plaguing your desperate mind?” He asked teasingly. I laughed and nodded sincerely, “In all honesty, I did. But you are right next to me, and those thoughts are only growing.” His beautiful laugh echoed while he pulled me even closer, I let my hand wander between us and lower on his body to part his kimono. He had not dressed back when we laid down, which made it easier to simply move his kimono out of the way to have him exposed in his full glory. “You are impatient, maybe I should do something about your hands, what would you say?” He asked teasingly as he helped my arms out of the sleeves before bringing them around his neck.
I gladly wrapped them around it and leaned in for a tender kiss that was quick to turn into something more needy. His hands did not join the mix, but I did hear the rustle of cloth which made me question what he was doing. I found out soon enough when his rough hands took hold of mine and wrapped my wrists with the cotton belt that only moments ago was around my waist. I broke the kiss in confusion, then felt him lift me onto his lap as he sat up, crossed-legged like he had earlier when he wanted us to hug. This hug was a lot different.
My knees were on each side of him and I could feel his hard cock against my stomach; my core ached to feel it, so I rolled my hips in the hope that he would let me do just that. With one hand back on my hip, he stopped me from moving and brought his other hand on his cock, “That neediness was not nearly as well depicted in your letters as it is right now, with your pretty legs open like this. It’s a sight that would make any man’s knees buckle, you are lucky I am seated.” His tone, while warm as usual, was not the same. The warmth that traveled my entire body was much more carnal, less charming. “Is that so? Being fully nude on your lap is all that is needed to make you weak?” I asked playfully. With the little access I had from having my wrists tied, I pulled his hair back gently to tilt his head up and look down at him.
A pretty grin was resting on his lips, it was inviting and what kind of guest would I be to refuse such an invitation... Slowly, I dipped my head and grazed my lips against his, making sure to exhale against his mouth as our noses brushed against one another. “Tell me, what else would make you weak?” I asked, my tone sultry and playful at the same time. I heard his breathless, yet choked laugh as he half-closed his eyes to look at me, “You remembered the hair, I like it. You seem to remember my letters so well… Tell me,” His lips were pressed teasingly on mine, I did not play along and kissed him with more fervor, only to have him push my face away by grabbing my jaw with a bit more force.
“Would you please wait? You seem so eager, but we are having a discussion, my love,” He trailed his open mouth from my chin to my ear then continued, “Then again, you were that eager even before that, who am I to act surprised?” He chuckled, kissing my jaw fully. I huffed a laugh to hide the fact that I was growing flustered and said, “So were you. Need I remind you how aroused you got the moment I started kissing your body? Such tender actions, tainted by your lewd thoughts... Quite sinful, wouldn’t you say?” The moment I finished talking, Rengoku placed his large hand on my lower back to push me closer as his other one was behind my head. He then leaned forward, making me fall back on my back on the futon.
I did not hit it hard thanks to his hands, but it felt weird not being able to catch my fall because of my tied hands. Another laugh escaped his lips, his eyes wide and bright as a proud smile adorned his lips. He slowly let go of my body and moved his head from my arms so that they were now still bound at the wrists, but resting between us. “Shall we re-enact those so-called tender actions of yours?” I was confused by his words, then felt his large hand grab mine and guide them to his cock. He then wrapped them around it, sighing in pleasure when I tightened my hold around his erected member. “Good, yes-“ A groan escaped his throat as he bucked his hips inside my hands, dropping his head onto my shoulder as he kept going, his mouth open as his breath was constricted.
“Those beautiful hands that-“ a salacious moan escaped his lips again, this time right next to my ear. I couldn’t help but try to bring him closer by bringing my foot on his back and digging my heel against it to push him closer. I wanted to feel him, not just hold his cock, even if the idea of being in control of his pleasure was more than exciting. “Were so gentle in taking care of me, but-“ I could hear the smile through his words, “...but all they are good for now-“ another deep groan muffled against my skin, I wanted to see how far he would go, if he would only find his own pleasure or if he was simply having fun. I was waiting for an opportunity. “Is to make my cock feel so good-“ Feeling like his thrusts were getting wilder, more desperate, I did the thing I found the most entertaining in times like these. The moment he bit into my shoulder in pleasure, I let go of his cock and heard him gasp loudly next to me in indignation.
“Do not talk about my hands as such, they can take as much as they give.” I said tauntingly as I pressed my cheek to his face only to have him lean back and look at me with an amused expression. “I suppose it is time to enjoy how beautiful your voice is,” He grinned as he moved back slightly and was now kneeling between my spread legs. I could not keep my gaze on his eyes, for mine kept looking down at his glorious cock that seemed to be needing attention. “Although I wish to make you moan loudly, you will have to be quiet-“ “What if my moans were muffled by… something?” I tried to make him understand by looking down between his legs. His expression faltered, seemingly surprised by my suggestion.
I did not miss the smile in the corner of his mouth as he threaded his hand through his hair before slowly standing up and lighting the lantern. He joined my side again, this time he brought a knee to his chest while his other leg was free in front of him. “Seeing how you seem almost hungry for it, I will not refuse.” He gestured for me to come closer. I sat up properly and knelt in front of him, only to have him spread my knees with a gentle laugh. “You look delicious like that, my dear.” He commented, his hands sliding to my slit to stroke it a few times, eliciting a gasp from my throat.
He brought his fingers back to his mouth and licked it, the action in itself was so vulgar but the smile on his face was soft. His words were a mix of both, “You know, you must always have a taste of your meal, in case it’s not to your liking.” He leaned in and kissed me tenderly, albeit shortly, leaving me wanting more with my mouth open. He filled it with his fingers to have me taste it too and added, as I licked them clean, “After all, I will eat you out once you have satiated that hunger for my cock.” I almost gagged on his fingers upon hearing his words, he pulled them out laughing before threading them in my hair and slowly pushing my head towards his cock.
“There, I did say I would work on that gagging, did I not? It is the perfect opportunity,” He was almost determined. His other hand placed itself under my chin and held it gently as he helped his cock inside my mouth, holding me still as he did so. His fingers drummed on my throat a few times as silent gasps escaped his lips. “Very—good, yes-“ He grunted in short sentences, if one could call them such. My tongue was pressed against his length, I could feel it hit the back of my throat and slightly push in, making my eyes tear up. Saliva was already drooling from my mouth, and down the length of his cock. Curiously, I looked up at him and was met with a look I would have never thought I would see on his face, something close to threatening, no… dangerous.
Slowly, I tried to bob my head onto his member, but without the support of my hands that had drifted between my legs, I had to rely on Kyojuro’s tight grip in my hair. Sliding his hand fully around my throat, he looked at me with what was supposed to be a reassuring smile. “Beautiful, so full-“ He hissed as he moved inside my mouth, lifting my head only to let it come back after. His hand tightened around my neck at the feeling, enjoying knowing he could feel himself there. “Will you allow me to fuck your throat good? I will not finish in your mouth,” I nodded the best I could with his cock in my mouth and started stimulating myself as he started bobbing my head on his cock. While he did so, he gritted through his teeth, beaming, “I reserve that for you needy- aching- hole,” The thoughts of having him fill me only aroused me more.
Pain joined the exquisite feeling of my fingers on my clitoris, his grip was not letting go of my hair one bit as he lowered my head down his cock before pulling back. At first he leaned his head back, enjoying the feeling greatly, the sound of my whimpers around him made him more than ecstatic. I knew it from his openmouthed moans that he was not muffling one bit. When I started rolling my hips against my hand, he looked down at me suddenly, stopping his actions. “My dearest, do you need attention?” He hummed inquisitively, his eyes traveling down my body to land on my hands. “I see what’s going on, you are very smart to enjoy yourself too,” He praised me before thrusting his hips once in my throat. I gagged at the feeling, more tears streaming down my face but held back anything that I could feel coming up. “I will stop for tonight, since you are so needy.” He cooed gently.
Delicately, he pulled out of my mouth, grunts leaving his throat as he did so. A trail of saliva connected my tongue to his tip; looking at him through half-lidded eyes, I leaned in and licked it painfully slow. He quickly pulled my head back roughly, then let go to cradle my face with both hands. “You did good.” A tender kiss followed, it turned more passionate when he pried my mouth open and let his tongue venture. As he did so, he pushed me back onto the futon and broke the kiss. “Will you forgive me if I tell you the sight of tears rolling down your cheeks, along the feeling of my cock in your throat, is one that I would like engraved in my mind? You have no idea how salacious and endearing it was at the same time.”
Both chuckling, he trailed kisses down my chest to my stomach. While he did so, I croaked, “I will forgive, simply because you must be quite the sight too with my thighs around your head.” I must have caught him off guard for he snorted without much charm upon hearing my words. “I will admit, it is the best accessory I can ask for,” He commented, his fingernails barely clawing at my inner thighs as he looked at me, “And I like colorful accessories, do you?” His tone was mischievous, his eyes too but his smile was sweet. Hesitantly, I nodded. It made him grin broadly as he started fervently kissing my thighs, sucking and licking. Nibbling on them too. While his mouth would be on my inner thighs, one hand would be gripping the one being attacked while the other wrapped around the other thigh and kept it close to him.
I would sometimes chuckle at the light feeling of his tongue on my skin, goosebumps raising all over my body. I threaded my fingers through his hair gently, needing to touch him but only being able to reach that part. My legs were over his shoulders; I could feel some pain coming on the parts of my legs he had been working on, but was able to not pay it any mind thanks to the frustration I was feeling. He was so close to giving me pleasure, but he was taking his sweet time. “Kyo, why are you taking so long? Please…” He looked up, his smile more teasing than ever. “My love…” He bit my leg gently, his eyes never leaving mine before continuing, “I assumed you were patient, considering it took some long, painful courting to get us right here.” He bit the other thigh, earning himself a groan from me. He grazed his teeth on it afterwards, “I remember the mention of not wanting to be inappropriate in those beautiful letters of yours.” He trailed off, his hands slithering between my legs and onto my ass as he suddenly pulled me closer.
“Tell me, don’t you believe it vulgar to be spread as such in front of me?” I felt warmth rushing to my cheeks and down between my legs, my back was oscillating between burning hot and cold from the shivers that kept coursing through my body. “If you do not like the sight, you may let go of them, I will close them to not look too vulgar.” I said in faux confidence, making him huff in response. Shaking his head, he made sure to spread them just a little bit more. His observant eyes travelled from my eyes down to my stomach then paused to slowly lower to my spread legs; there, a smirk drew itself on his lips, “You will close them, yes,” after saying that, he lowered his head onto my slit, “Around my head. Don’t be shy to wrap them real tight, I can assure you I will survive.” He winked, then dipped his head and started lapping at my cunt.
I wanted to cover my mouth and hold onto his hair, but could only do one. I chose the former, in order to not wake up everyone with the whimpers escaping my lips. With each movement of his tongue between my lower lips, I would arch my back when he’d graze my clit with the tip of his tongue. His nose would press against it from time to time, giving it a little bit of pressure, but not nearly as much as I would need. I tried to angle my hips to guide myself on a spot that would make me feel even better, but he made sure to hold me still by gripping my sides. Looking up with a glistening chin and out of breath, he gave a slow lick between my legs, “Are you alright? Perhaps, is it not good enough?” His tone was teasing, arrogant, but loving still. I wanted to grab his chin and kiss him deeply, but did not trust he would let me. Freeing my mouth, I uttered, “You are doing it on purpose, can you please…”
Tilting his head to the side he quirked a brow, “If you look at me like this, I can hardly refuse,” He started, there was something else he wanted to add. I knew it from the look he was giving me. He did not disappoint when he spoke up again. “But only if you bring those beautiful hands back on my hair. My purpose here is to make my songbird sing, I can hardly hear anything if your hands are covering your mouth my love.” Doing as he asked, I brought my hands to him, but instead of gripping his hair I gently took hold of his chin, “So you do keep that beautiful way with words,” I commented as I pressed my thumbs on his lower lip to open his mouth. He followed my moves and did so, his smile never leaving his face. “If filthy words will not leave that pretty mouth of yours, I suppose I’ll fill it with filth myself.”
I was thrilled to see his smile change from mischievous to excited, challenged. I mirrored it. He was quick to bring my hands away from his face and into his hair wordlessly. His only response was to resume his actions with a lot more fervor, his tongue lapping at my sex with the lewdest sounds. The ache I had been feeling for so long was growing and building up inside me, I only realized my thighs were tightening around his head when I felt him grunt against my sex as his nails dug deeper in my skin. Whimpers were flooding from my mouth; it was not nearly enough to drown the salacious wet sounds from his tongue between my legs. While it made my entire body heat up in embarrassment, I could not spare one ounce of energy to feel remotely ashamed of what was happening. Moans soon followed when he started sucking on my clit, his eyes lit up with pride when he elicited a louder one.
At that, his hands slithered to my thighs to hold them open instead of around his head. He looked up at me playfully as he did so, “I liked that one, I am sure you could do it again, for me?” “Kyo—Kyo we’re not alone, don’t-“ He did not listen and returned all his attention to my sensitive nerves. My brows knotted in pleasure, I let my head roll back. I was getting close to relief, my eyes riveted on the ceiling as my entire body tensed. He did not seem like stopping, nothing was leading me to that conclusion, and it made me happier the moment my vision filled with white, and I let out a cry of relief. Utter silence followed, I slumped back on the mattress and sighed in content, my hand had long since let go of Rengoku’s hair and was now resting on my stomach.
I gasped when I felt a lazy tongue lick between my folds then saw Kyojuro’s face right above mine, a stupid smile on his lips. His skin glistened from my filth. He was not grinning, but I knew something was going on when he kissed me softly and pried my mouth open to deepen the kiss. His tongue intruded my mouth with something more salty than saliva, it took me some time to come to the realization of what he had done; I quickly broke the kiss and swallowed to speak but was interrupted by the sliding of the door open. I looked behind Rengoku’s shoulder in panic, trying to bring him against me to cover my sweaty form. It was pointless to fake sleeping since the light was on and my eyes were wide in shock.
The sleepy form of Uzui stood there, his hair messy and his eyes, half-closed, focused on us. “It’s Tengen.” I whispered to Rengoku who still had his back facing the door. “He is half-asleep.” I added. The red-haired smirked and kissed my neck, “I’ll tell him to leave.” He chuckled before pulling the blanket on my form as he stood up. He did not bother to cover himself as he made his way to the door, fully nude and uncaring of anything. “Giyuu said he heard something, but since it was coming from your room he did not dare come in case y’all were…” the silver-haired man waved his hands in front of him to explain exactly what he meant; as he tried to look behind Kyojuro’s shoulder, the latter moved in the way to block his view. “In case you were fucking, clearly he guessed right.” He laughed, facing the Fire Pillar again. “We are, is there anything else?” Rengoku asked.
There was a pause, I was starting to calm down which made me feel annoyed since I wanted to finish what I had started with my lover. “Well, clearly the night has just started,” The Sound Pillar laughed again, “Just tone down the moans and all that, fuck all you want but just a bit more silent, yeah?” Kyo nodded and gestured for him to leave, still as confident as ever without needing to cover his cock, nor the marks all over his body. Before leaving, Uzui glanced behind Rengoku the best he could and covered his mouth in excitement before looking at my lover again. “Tied up? On the first fuck? You are wilder than I thought, Ren!” I heard him say, quickly I tried to cover my hands more. Uzui slapped his hand on the lion-like man’s shoulder and said, “Good for you, both of you. Have fun, don’t be late for training—and take a bath, there is paint all over the damn place. That’s some weird shit you’re into, not going to lie. Good night friend.” He then bid us goodbye and closed the door again.
Rengoku returned by my side in seconds, “Unnecessary interruption, I hope it did not turn you off my love.” He whispered softly as he removed the blanket from my form and pressed a kiss on my stomach. “All of this because you told me to uncover my mouth, it was obvious someone would hear.” I berated him playfully, thinking he would perhaps apologize but still say he did not regret it. While he did the latter, partially, he added more to it. “If it was that obvious, why did you do it?” He asked with a smug smile, his face close to mine once again as his fingers danced on my thighs. Slowly, they slid to the inner side of it while I stared at him confused, “Because you asked me to do it…” I told him with my cheeks heating up.
“You could have refused, my love.” He breathed, his lips ghosting over mine. “You know I would not have minded if you had refused.” He added, this time pressing a teasing kiss on my lips. I could feel the smile on his lips as his hair tickled the side of my face. Breaking the kiss for a moment, he pressed himself more against me and as he spoke, “Did you want to get caught?” he slid two fingers inside me, making me gasp silently at the unexpected feeling. I shut my mouth to hold back any groans from the thrusts of his fingers, but he was not having it; his free hand moved to my mouth and pried it open with his thumb, his expression softer than ever. “There, my love, I am sure you can give me a proper answer. Don’t be distracted by my fingers, focus on me.” As he said so, he made sure to add another finger and to rub his thumb on my clit.
Swearing under my breath, I tried to grab his shoulders, but was still bound and grunted in desperation. “Maybe you wanted that—��� He curled his fingers inside me, grunting in satisfaction at the sound that escaped my throat. Rengoku’s face was nested in my neck, his teeth grazing my skin as he whispered right next to my ear, “My love, you obeyed so dutifully when I told you to open your pretty mouth,” He chuckled to himself, never stopping his thrusts as I kept whimpering under him, trying hard to stay as silent as possible. When I rolled my hips against his hand, he kissed my temple softly and caressed my cheek. The tenderness of his actions could not balance the roughness of the one that followed when he grabbed my throat to bring me into a delicate kiss that he quickly broke. “Can you obey once more and answer my simple question? I’m sure you can be good and do that for me, hm?”
Giving him a long look, I smiled lazily and cradled his face in my hands to kiss him longingly, the sounds of my moans were muffled by his mouth. It did not take long for the kiss to grow more sloppy, more needy and clearly hungry. Feeling Kyojuro’s cock pressed against my thigh, I closed them around his cock and made him moan into the kiss, breaking it in the process. “Do not think I will be satisfied with just fucking your beautiful thighs, my love,” His gaze never leaving mine, he brushed his thumb on my throat and pulled his fingers out to spread my legs and instead place his between mine. Leaning over once again, he pressed the tip of his cock against my hole but did not move, instead he kissed my cheek, then my throat and grabbed my tied hands delicately. My eyes followed all of his movements, never leaving his body. I wanted to know what he wanted to do next, I wanted to be ready, to not be caught off guard again. “Would you like to use your hands again? I’d like to think it would feel better for both of us if you could use them.” He smiled gently, his hands playing with mine while waiting for an answer.
“I think you’ve held me down long enough; I would love to be able to run my hands all over your gorgeous body.” I said playfully, thrusting my hands towards him even more. I held back from smiling to not let him know what I was planning on doing. He scoffed and smiled before undoing the knot; the moment I was free, it did not take me more than a few seconds to bring him down and roll him over to be the one on top and pin his hands above his head.
The thrilled expression that was adorning his features filled me up with glee as I leaned over and ghosted my lips over his, just as he did before. “My turn,” I breathed with a smirk, “But I won’t tie your hands, I think they will be more than useful when you will be desperate to feel me more.” I taunted as I placed my hands on his hips and raised my hips above his hardened cock; I did not have time to lower myself that the Pillar held me in place and sat up. It made me move my hands on his shoulders and grip them tight, in case he decided to take control. “Do you remember my question? I believe I am still waiting for your answer.” He grinned darkly, an open kiss pressed at the spot where my neck and my shoulders met.
“It was… thrilling that Uzui was there, but it is simply because it is the boldest we’ve been in front of him,” I said softly, then lowered my tone and ghosted my lips against the shell of his ear as I added, “If I am being honest, seeing you walk there without covering yourself was a lot hotter than that idiot being there,” One of my hands placed itself on his jaw as I kissed his cheek, “And I got to see your beautiful bum too, which is more than a simple sight.” Chuckling, we kissed passionately, our hands traveling one another’s body. I could feel his cheeks were burning up, perhaps from the efforts and all the energy spent, but I liked to think he was flustered from my words. I realized his hands were not holding me anymore, while they were resting on my hips again by the end of our fiery kiss, they were doing just that, resting.
With my hands back on his shoulders, I did not waste time and lowered myself onto his cock. I tried hard to hold back the swearing from flooding out of my mouth, but the feeling of his cock stretching me out was painful and blissful at the same time. Without paying attention, I had spread my legs wider to get more of him inside me. Warmth spread all over my body when I heard him sigh in content, his hands gripping my waist to hold himself back from pulling me onto him with force. His nails were pressing hard into my skin and only dug more when I had him fully sheathed inside me and I rolled my hips once, twice. Looking up at him, I saw he was staring at me with hunger, a clear carnal desire that I matched by kissing him wantonly. One hand was splayed on his cheek while the other held onto his shoulder as I started lifting myself up and down his erected cock, rolling my hips as I did so. Soon enough, our grunts of pleasure started filling the room, our sweaty bodies melted into one when he wrapped his strong arm around my back and pulled me even closer.
The slick sound of his cock thrusting in and out of me made the act even more vulgar, but at this very moment I could not care less. I was focused on feeling each part of him, on feeling his burning touch traveling from my back to my shoulders as he tried to bring me even closer to bury his face in the crook of my neck. His moans were the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard coming from him, the heat emanating from his entire body was heating mine in return. His warm breath made my neck feel like it was on fire, even more so when he bit into it and groaned in pleasure as he started thrusting more. I had long since wrapped both of my arms around his neck and was holding onto him with force.
No words could escape my mouth, only whimpers and muffled moans as I tried to cover my mouth. I kept switching between covering my mouth or grabbing his shoulders, desperately trying to stay balanced but when he leaned forward, I let him tilt me back onto the floor with his hand resting behind my head. With his free hand, he held onto my waist and started ramming into me, his breath ragged and his mouth open as groans and moans escaped it, emphasizing each of his thrusts. Seeing him so primal was a sight I do not believe I could get tired of. Through high-pitched whimpers I reached out for his face, sliding my hand to the back of his hair as I pulled him closer once again. “Kiss me, please.” I pleaded. “Yes, of course, yes.” He replied, his speech hurried, tone desperate as he lifted my head from the ground with the hand resting behind it. The kiss was clumsy, dirty but it felt so good.
It felt so good to be this close to him, to not think of anything but the pleasure one was giving the other. He hiked my leg over his hip to angle himself better and as he did so, I arched my back in satisfaction, he had hit the perfect spot. He must have understood that since he swelled with pride and kept hitting that very spot over and over again, his speed decreased to a taunting one. “Look at you, squirming for more,” He huffed and caressed my stomach, down to my thighs, “Are you close, my love?” He had asked with a soft breathless smile, his hair covering the sides of his face. “Yes, please,” I let my head fall back once more and sighed, trying to catch my breath, “Please, make me cum, I’m aching for release, if you don’t—“ There was no need for threats, he was more than glad to resume his thorough fucking. There was no other word for it.
The entire evening had been love making, intimacy, gentle touches, but it had now turned into something so desperate that it could only be called fucking. Hands reaching for any sort of hold onto the other, sweat making the grip less secure, the paint from our bodies had long since tainted the sheets and was no longer adorning our backs. Our hands were covered in said paint, and as they traveled from back to shoulder to face, it left a colorful trail that made the body look even more like a work of art.
Soon enough, the tension that had built up inside me reached a peak. All I needed to break that tension was a few more thrusts that were strongly provided by Rengoku’s rough, heavy, forceful hips. At this blissful moment, all I managed to do was hold his arms in a death grip and mutter his name under my breath alongside swears as I felt myself tense for what felt like too long before letting my entire body relax and my hands fall back to my side. Kyojuro followed soon enough, one hand reaching for my cheek as he caressed me gently. His look was desperate as his thrusts became more erratic, seeing as if he was about to pull out, I wrapped my leg around his waist to stop him and with a tired arm reached out for the side of his neck to pull him close. “Don’t pull out, I want to feel you, all of you.” That was all he needed to finish, his movements stopping as his head fell back in utter pleasure.
Silence followed, moments after Kyojuro laid down next to me in exhaustion. He still had enough energy to help my head onto his chest to caress me gently, both of our bodies were dirty and reeked of sweat, but I could not care less. I did not want to think of anything but this very moment, from his words he wanted that too, “If you give me one hour, I am sure I could do that again.” He whispered, his eyes locked on the ceiling as a proud smile adorned his lips.
Trying to face him, I turned around on his chest with my chin resting on it. “Give me a few days, I am definitely not ready for more. As good as it was, I am out of commission for the time being.” I laughed as I trailed my hand on the scar on his stomach. I was relieved when he did not tense up and instead mimicked my actions but trailing a finger on the scar on my back. “Do you have energy to spare for a bath? I do not believe we’ll have time in the morning to bathe. It is already pretty late.” He explained softly as he rested his cheek against the side of my head, I was already starting to feel sleepy but knowing he was right, I pushed myself off of him and nodded sleepily. “I will find the energy. If I fall asleep in the bath, it is your responsibility. Understood?” I asked playfully as I handed him his kimono before draping mine over my form.
“I will keep you awake by talking to you without ever stopping, does that sound good?” He asked cutely as he stood up. He reached out for my hand, helping me stand up before pulling me close and hugging me gently.
“There is nothing more I could ask for than to hear you talk, please do.” I huffed a laugh then kissed him tenderly, enjoying each and every second spent by his side on this beautiful evening. When I pulled back, I tucked his hair behind his ears and grinned, “Tying your hair was not very helpful considering most of it fell from the ribbon.”
“It matters not! I looked very hot to you for a moment, I am sure you enjoyed it while it lasted.” He winked, his hand sliding down my arm to hold my hand. “Now you have the responsibility to wash my hair-“ “Mane,” I corrected him, “It is no longer hair seeing how many knots there are in it.” I continued playfully as we made our way out of the bedroom.
As we finished the night, I thought for a second I could imagine spending the rest of my life in this pure happiness, having someone I loved by my side, taking care of that someone as they took care of me.
Maybe everything will be alright, maybe I’m allowed some happiness.
#demon slayer#demon slayer x reader#kimetsu no yaiba#kimetsu no yaiba x rader#rengoku x reader#kny rengoku#demon slayer rengoku#kny rengoku x reader#kny rengoku kyojuro#kyojuro rengoku x reader#rengoku kyojuro#kimetsu no yaiba rengoku#rengoku kyoujurou#smut#physicalturian#writing#writer#filthy summer#ao3 physicalturian
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