#but really ppl need to relax

[romanticatheartt]

I want to rant a little so before y'all attack me I ship Elucien so pls chill the f out. As always my problem is the fans (AND NOT ALL OF THEM). And if you don't agree with any of this please be respectful or just unfollow or block me, I'm not looking for an argument :)

The hate Feysand or IC gets from different sides of the fandom is funny to me. When they don't want to blame their favorite character, they put it on IC. And I'm specifically want to talk about Eluciens.

It's a little long so ->

Idk what's their problem and I certainly don't want to know (I didn't even know there was a problem but apparently is) but I found this out unwillingly when Tumblr thinks I would enjoy these kind of posts or when people don't know how to tag properly lol

So it seems Eluciens have problem with IC because they don't let them communicate without being watched and if they leave them alone they'll be getting along instantly...

First of all have y'all forget the fact that they have been alone? After the war Feyre specially leaves them alone and let them talk. No one watches and there's no one there to make them uncomfortable. And If I'm not wrong there is one other time before he leaves for the search of Vassa. My point is the times they've been watched, was because IC didn't trust Lucien not because they have problem with his bond with Elain. The bond is sacred to them, they'll never have any problem with that trust me.

So the fact that you don't take into account that maybe Elain is really not ready to be with Lucien is beyond me. That you take away her agency and turn it into someone else's fault.

You don't want to accept that Elain just had a messy break up, she still mourns her human life, she's somewhere she doesn't belong to and is utterly lost. You want to completely forget that and blame it on IC while they're their biggest supporters.

I'm pointing out to Morrigan, Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian and maybe Nesta (after acosf)

Morrigan who's power is truth and asked Feyre to let them figures it out themselves even tho Feyre was trying to get them to talk to each other. She asked Feyre to not interfere even tho her intentions were good.

When Rhysand stopped Az because he knew there's no thoughts behind his actions. And when he didn't answer him about Mor or when he questioned the Cauldron he instantly had to stop it. (Probably because Tam/in said something similar about his bond with Feyre and he saw his brother is turning to someone he hates.) And while I didn't like the fact that he kinda decided for Elain, he also didn't know what she really wants but whatever it is he turns the events in favor of Lucien and Elain or let's say somewhere with less heart break. He wants them to at least have one chance before they do anything else. Because let's be honest if Rhys knew Az and Elain would've been happy together and Azriel would genuinely love her, he wouldn't have brought all those political reason as to why they can't be together. He would've find a way to make it happen. Rhysand is the person who wants for his family to get to their HEA. So it's completely obvious to me that he wanted to give Az reasons as to not think with his d*ck as always.

And they love LOVE to bash Feyre for even commenting on Cauldron being wrong. Listen so here's the thing: Sjm wanted to bring this question as a way to show that her mates are never wrong, they're suited for each other and 90% endgame. And since the first 3.5 books are 1st person and its Feyre's story, it had to be questioned by Feyre. This was an author's choice and not Feyre genuinely believing that. And it was a question that leads to Rhysand explaining how untrue it is. It was just a way for Sjm to show her mates are not wrong for each other. Feyre wasn't forcing this idea at all. She's new to all of this even tho she's been living with them for a couple of years. Compare to everyone else who has been born fae. She has the right to question things. (And they always come up with this question: what if someone question Feyre's bond with Rhys wouldn't she get mad? Um... No. Because she's seeing and experiencing the result of accepting the bond and it has clearly worked out for her. And beside being mates, she loves him. Being mated was a bonus point for them. So she probably wouldn't care if Cauldron was wrong. The mating bond isn't the only reason they're together. One day I'll write a post about the mating bond and why I think it can't be wrong but that's for another time.)

And Cassian is on board with them because he, like Feyre and Rhysand, knows how it's like to be with your mate. And we see him looking at Lucien with pity. And he also notices that night court is definitely not for Elain.

And Nesta literally said this in hofas:

“I’ve been in the Fae realms long enough to know that there are forces that sometimes guide us, push us along. I’ve learned to let them. And to listen.”

... I MEAN, I MEAN!!! *read it in timothée chalamet voice*

In acosf she called Elain out on her behavior. So you see, everyone is somehow rooting for Elucien and want them to at least give it a chance.

I said all this to prove that IC shouldn't be blamed while Elain (and maybe even Lucien we've never read either povs) don't want to take a step toward each other--for now. I guess it's just easier to blame IC for something that's literally not their fault. Everything they did after Lucien came into Velaris was understandable. They didn't trust him and he proved his somewhat loyalty to them or at the very least to Elain. And this was back in acowar so things has changed!!! But let's not forget that in the last winter solstice, Elain sat furthest from Lucien and it was her choice!! Her not giving Lucien a chance (yet) is her choice. Not wanting to be alone with him is her choice, please try to understand.

Still holding a grudge when circumstances has changed after acowar is just petty imo...

#pro inner circle #pro elain & elucien(ig) #I srsly don't know how to tag and not get the attention of some people who are thirsty for a fight lol #but really ppl need to relax #stop being a hater ffs #it's really not that hard to understand #and beside it's clear that it's not their time #you want to see their progress in someone else's book? #oh boy #I hope I don't offend anyone with this #people get easily offended in this fandom #HELP #why I'm so scared to voice my opinion #I'm gonna hide bye

[curiosity-killed]

It is! Possible! That I may be being too hard on myself! Again!!!

#me for most of this fall: I’m not doing enough well enough I’m falling short in everything I am Miserable #the universe lately: you’re such a natural turner / you are so creative / you are doing so much / #you are curious and humble and kind / you have beautiful lines / your writing is lovely #our company did this values in action award and my sister and I were talking abt it last week and how only 5 employees WERENT nominated #and i was like Clearlt I Was Not Nominated #and then today actually read the nominations and I got?? really sweet ones???? #and just had a convo with a colleague abt how I’ve been worried abt underperforming/not doing well enough #and she looked at me like I had literally sprouted a tortoise out of my head and was like #‘’i. think you might have. Very High Standards for yourself. (?????????)’’ #the new director I’ve been working with is so casual abt praise saying how I have beautiful lines and such a strong turn #and just need to relax and breathe #there have been a couple ppl recently reading thru like my entire AO3 and leaving the nicest comments??? #my students are chaotic but at rehearsal they all want to come sit with me and ask me questions and I just #idk I know I have a tendency toward isolation and self-deprecation #but also like. when ur in it (the depressions (?)) it feels so absolute #and i know I have to go thru to get to a place where I can receive the good (emotionally) #and I know I’m a little extra sensitivo bc I‘ve been missing my brother #and specifically how he always always was the person who listened when I needed support #but yeah i. maybe rlly needed this #‘’over and over announcing your place in the family of things’’ #<- current feels #personal #Bc it’s less about positive feedback and more abt feeling like belonging

[sirbasil]

Spending time together on tired days

#i dont actually really like the other 2 #but i felt obligated to post them #cuz i just finished with the one i put on the spotlight #and yeah the other ones r a few days old #anyways maybe you guys will like them either way #whispangle #whisper the wolf #tangle the lemur #idw sonic #i think theyd like reading stories together #borrowed all of jewels books #and i think tangle would have a big comic collection #they need a break #just lay down sometime or sit somewhere #without caring about anything else and relax for a bit #yeah #i'm sometimes nervous to show ship art to ppl cuz like what if they think uts cringe #but this is tumblr so no complaints are accepted #fanart tag

[cerbreus]

today has been a day

#aughghhhhhh i thought i would be able to relax today! #no! #stressed about housing! #stressed about work because my coworker i really really liked working with is moving on and idk what that means for me and if i will #still be able to keep my job or not!!! i also don't know who replaces them and that makes me nervous! for understandable reasons!!! #also! i did not update my portfolio bc i got lazy and busy with work and now i'm scrambling to figure out how to get that all together #bc i need to be prepared if i DO get laid off or smth.... it's like 3 yrs out of date now..... #not my best day for the first time in a long long time #but mostly bc the housing stuff is stacked with work worries now which is not fun give me 1 issue at a time please #personal stuff #worst bit is if i get let go idk if i can find another job in my current role esp not here where i live #esp bc even if it wasn't a bad year already for my kind of work it was already tough when it wasn't a bad year for ppl in my role

[dbphantom]

his nickelodeon slime arm has captivated me <- Cord, probably

#i gotta do lighting better. lol #i saw someone do it in a really unique way and i was like 👀 but im just some dude scribbling a vague approximation of everything at 3am 😩 #one day i'll put effort into drawing jerric again. today is not that day. i am so tired i just needed to relax after hanging with some ppl #veneer #jerric kedves #caleb oroitz #cord's only mentioned so i won't tag him lmao sorry man #i love drawing jerric bc i get to put on my favorite playlist: ''i am going to beat you to death'' #it has the doom ost and celldweller songs and the killer instinct ost... among others i think fit the vibes of ''you are so screwed'' #dude's a powerhouse and he doesn't even have magic. he's just that strong on his own that he can overpower magic users #powerscaling means nothing to me. jerric cool. jerric wins.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow #but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done #and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird #but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow #so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏 #i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood #was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone #ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and #hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy #i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better #god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely #focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony #so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno #lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done #to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself #sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough #lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime #so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha #back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies #oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad #tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire #tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh #unrelated

[fakeoutbf]

.

#hi i’m gonna ramble a little feel free to skip over this #i’ve just felt so lonely these past few weeks #like the closest friends i had both went out of town and neither told me and i had to find out through instagram #and like idk if it’s my fault for always being so closed off and not reaching out to ppl more or if they just … don’t wanna talk to me #and i’m happy that they’re doing stuff that makes them happy and that they’re doing well but like #they both have bfs which is fine but that means that they almost automatically have someone else to do shit with #and they have closer friends too so they hang out with them more i guess #all this to say i don’t really have anyone i’m close with so i just … don’t have anyone to do that stuff with #like a coworker was saying they wanted to go to the beach with their cousins or siblings or they went on vacation with friends recently #and the only person i’d wanna do those things with is my mom … and then we can’t go bc we’re broke and have other things to pay #and i wish i could travel on my own but it’s not safe here and ngl i don’t have money to go out of the country besides needing paperwork etc #all this to say that: did i fuck up choosing a bsf in hs that was thousands of miles away that now i don’t have a genuine connection with #anyone in the same area i am?? should i have opened up more to ppl overall?? should i have tried harder?? #or is it just fucked up that the only ppl i know who like the same things i like and who bond with me over them live so far away?? #like is it me?? am i the problem?? #i just wanna go to the beach man … i wanna go on vacation and relax and not think about fucking dying alone #no one even cares about me i swear #if i got fucked up in a car crash or something and landed in a hospital or fucking dead for all i know who would even care

[ihatebnha]

hey pretty, I just wanted to tell you that it's not your fics that makes this your blog, it's you!! so don't feel like to be here you have to be "working" or "posting". you're you and I love u for that. really, I love it when you answer asks, you're so polite, gentle and funny, it actually makes us wanna talk to you. but!! if one day this whole thing ever overwhelms you it's okay baby. just wanted to let you know that you alredy give us so much <33 you are amazing in indulging our thoughts, you give us tiktok content and amazing dad headcanons for all the characters!! know you're doing great, you really are active here and we love you 💗❤❤

#cries for literally 100 years #thank you so incredibly much for this anon :(((( truly truly truly #hardly know how to express what i wanna so i have to stay in the tags so i don't end up blubbering all over u adslfjkjasnd #no one has ever ............... said anything like this to me before #at least about ... my content and how active i am and stuff #i always feel like im never doing enough. ALWAYS. even when i post a lot i just wish i could post more #and maybe its just cuz im comparing myself to my old self #but it makes me sad bc i just feel like u all deserve more than whats happening now #and usually im reassured by the fact that like... something IS better than nothing... esp w/ quality over quantity #but at the same time... idk. all my content seems so. rudimentary #so it's like. when i cant produce a lot of it... what am i even doing? #and honestly i think my burnout mostly comes from the fact that im sick of doing homework and the prospects of relaxing this summer #are just too good to give up (making even focusing on this blog hard) BUT IDK #it triggers my performance anxiety... like what if ppl hate me if i do bad... or am not the way i used to be... you know? #anyway thats just mostly to say... I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS. TRULY. i don't think ive ever been complimented this way #and i appreciate it beyond. words. #not sure how im gonna feel in 2-3 weeks after i settle myself for the summer but. as long as u dont mind the fact that im slow... #that's enough for me <3 just need to find my spark again (which is funny cuz im watching bnha s5 rn and its really got me like... HUH) #ajfdjalsjdfj sorry to talk ur ear off tho bc what u said is really so reassuring... i just AHHHH and want u to know i love u lots #forever and ever and ever #ask #anon #caitie chats #fave

[slytherindisaster]

I wanted to finish the song asks today to just chill but I am so anxious about my shift tomorrow that I can't focus on anything rn 🙃

#like i am glad i finally got a job #and it's not rocket science just your typical bar with lots of old people buying the same dinner everyday #but i have to work at cash register and remember their orders and help in the kitchen if there’s not a lot of people #and I'm also responsible for making fresh juice pouring soup and cleaning tables #and again it's not anything unusual in a job like this #but i am bad with money i literally can't count so i make stupid mistakes #i don't fully understand how this particular cash register works yet #and i already make so many stupid mistaked on my trial day #i don't remember all the codes for meals yet so it's taking me forever to charge them and then i also have to count the change myself #and i am so fucking slow #and these ppl are so inpatient and also regulars so they are mad that i don't know what they're going to order #and i am terrible at multitasking and i can't properly focus there because everyone want something from me #and like the boss and the other staff are nice and helpful #but like you can only say 'I'm new' so many times before you're not new and should know stuff #and I'm just so afraid that I'll mess stuff up #like everytime a customer enters i am terrified #and fuck i am ranting #didn’t mean to but i couldn't relax for the whole weekend because i was worrying about going to work on monday #and i really needed a job so i couldn't say no #ughhhhhhh #personal #rambles #vent #sorry for this tag rant

[noxtivagus]

I DID IT

#🌙.rambles #yk what i feel so relieved now #i sent a message just to get one gc out of my message requests so i can change my nickname #yeah <3 #^^ was so scary tho bcs that's the gc for stem n there's sm ppl 😭😭 #my class gc's still in my message requests #but i'm not as stressed about it #i really hope my class makes a discord tho bcs that's where i'm most comfy #shs yeah i wna make more friends #and if i'm aiming to really be successful in the future then i don't have time to be shy. #i'll sort this out in time! at the very least even tho it's hard i should continue to be kind to myself #mhm i wna be closer as well w the ppl i already know & reconnect w old friends #i want more connections in school and out of school #i'll do my best <3 #i really can't help but be really anxious at times tho... T_T #but that's alright. i'll find my way through those moments as i always do #i need to hesitate less. i'd rather deal with anxiety than deal with regret #i already have enough small regrets that i til haven't properly come to terms with T_T #i believe in myself though #so i'll relax and go with the flow #i'll do my best! >.>

[seven-saffodils]

.

#the concept of work study makes me so mad #like an accident of birth determines whether huge chunks of your study or relaxation time are taken up by work?? #i think not #if the government has determined that you need help paying for school they should help you pay for school! #no strings should be attached! #all students at in-person schools should have to work a couple hours a week at their institution #(except if they have a disability or sth that would make that impossible) #but that way the work gets done and the rich kids have some sense of what it's like to do customer service or make food at mass levels #or clean or garden or maintain library collections or work under professors #etc #even better if each student is required to do at least a semester of ''working class'' work #i mean i know some ppl would be insufferable abt it #but i really think it would build empathy and solidarity

[wright-phoenix]

sometimes i want to stop reblogging undescribed things but then there'd be no fucking posts on this blog

#exaggerating of course #but sometimes i get a little spark of irritation at how easily some things are described #especially if it's just words. especially if you can just copy them with your device that u just screenshat it with #but also when it's art and you're the most qualified to make an id bc you know whats important #it doesnt have to be long and detailed it's fine to be simple aughhh #“ids are ugly” use alt text. u're excluding a whole group of ppl from ur posts btw #gifset: gifset of (character) in various situations #gif 1: looking left and smiling. gif 2: crying out in pain. gif 3: angry. subtitles say “i'm angry” #etc. idk it really is that easy #fanart of A and B sitting on the couch. theyre wearing their usual outfit. A is relaxed while B sleeps on their legs #like. thats as simple as u can make it... #i know fatigue problems or other disabilities hold certain ppl back from making that and that's fine of course #but everyone who can make ids into their posts.... i'm Looking At You #also ppl who could add ids that someone else wrote to their original post but choose not to. I See You #idk i really dont have any grounds to be this irritated bc i dont need the ids #but as soon as u start being more conscious of this you just see how little ppl care abt this #accessibility advocate but not when it's for blind people apparently #cas.txt #sorry sorry #also i very often dont rb things with gradient text anymore or if i do i tag it because #the horrors of that being read out by a screen reader. i should find the post again #but it basically reads every letter out with its hex code because they're colours not in the tumblr post editor #<- can't confirm if every reader does this etc. bc my knowlegde comes from reading about it #maybe it's outdated info or just happens with one particular reader etc. i dont know

[milo-is-rambling]

This image speaks to me

#I feel damn near agoraphobic recently it’s so awful like everything is scary all the time but at home it’s safe #like my room is my whole world most of the time bc everything else just feels like too much like there’s something bad out there waiting for #me to get too comfortable to feel too safe too happy and it’ll all come crashing down again it’s just miserable #need to go outside more but there keeps being people on the trails I like to walk and then I like awkwardly speed walk huffing and puffing #my way back to the car really quickly bc being seen by anyone outside of family or therapy for any amount of time feels like being stripped #naked and thrown to the wolves even tho I’m literally just walking outside in a place I’m allowed to walk surrounded by other ppl just #minding their own business #it’s fucking exhausting to be this scared all the time and it makes my muscle shit flare up cause I’m so tense and I can’t get my shoulder #or neck to relax and my back and hips hurt cause I haven’t been moving enough cause I’ve been rotting in bed #tomorrow I’ll go for a walk if it’s not raining #I need to move again and force myself to at least have one place out of the house (other than the car) that feels safe to be #📸

[aguacerotropical]

i wish i could talk about this w/o outing myself but the way we talk about mental illness is so messed up bc there is very little about it that is “mental” for me. Like my experience with bipolar dx is less about mania or sudden crushing depression, which ive had both, but more about how physically i cant cope, break down and end up sick in regular hospitals from the anguish.

And its so ironically funny to me bc literally 3 pills fixed my life almost overnight. I know this is a very particular experience, but the way mental and physical illnesses combine in my body to incapacitate me is terrifying and very hard to explain under our current body/ mind dichotomy

#I swear ppl pick up addictions just bc the bodily sensation of it all is so scary #like yeah i drowned myself in alcohol and muscle relaxers at one point but it wasnt really MENTAL #I just needed SOMETHING to stop my chronic 24/7 tachycardia and insomnia #it wasnt even self destruction lmfao like my body was intent on destroying itself without my consent anyways #bipolar dx as body horror if you will

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sometimes i feel very normal and then i interact with ppl lol #i had an in person meeting with my boss for the 1st time in ages and i usually talk to ppl while theyre driving or were walking somewhere #so i forgot how much im like obviously not making eye contact when ppl talk to me while hunched over and fidgeting lol #and when im trying to explain ideas to ppl abt like data stuff im like: i dont understand how what im saying doesnt make sense??? #also with a healthy dose of wtf is this person trying to say to me? u r saying words and i dont kno what theyre directed at #we had a lab party and im like v awkward at those things. idk how to interact in groups #ppl r interacting and im watching like u r clearly getting something out of this that i am not #i did maybe secure a place as a patient for one of our undergrads who is in the dental school lol #she was like yea i need 8 patients and i was like lol u can look in my mouth and then proceeded to tell her all the weird teeth problems #ive had. maybe that was weird but she seemed interested so 🤷 #i hope she follows up bc i havent been to the dentist in like 3 years #and i still habe my wisdome teeth #lol me at any party: i am waiting patiently until i can leave. #like its weird bc those r the time when ppl bond and make memories and all that but everytime someone calls back to events that ive been #there fore it baffles me bc im like. yea that was a thing that happened. i dont really have any feelings abt it so idk y u r recalling it #fondly??? plus my ears r kinda fucked so it was hard to focus on individual conversations #ay im so scatterbrained. thats what happens when u get little sleep and dont allow ur self to chill. ill just crunch myself into a lil ball #at least my boss tried to reassure me that id get accepted somewhere phd wise. but i will not relax until its official so rip #i just really want 2 specific schools to work out bc one is close to home and the other i can prob get good classes and opportunities #ugh i need to sleep. but im not tired :-P #unrelated