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#by seeking outside help??
nattousan · 1 month
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when
whe you, when You were just trying to put i n some extra effort to try adn improve yoursel f and it got misinterpreted as malicious n u get yell ed at
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fearofalling · 1 year
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Have u ever put two images together for the sheer horror of it all. i have
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beanghostprincess · 2 months
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Sometimes I think that even if shanks was asked by buggy for help because of the cross guild he would probably do nothing that useful since mihawk is his other close bond and he wouldn’t want to go against him and I get for some reason kinda sad
Agree to disagree, anon, because this is saying that hypothetically Buggy would ask Shanks for help because of the Cross Guild. A thing that could never happen in a million years and Buggy would rather die than ask Shanks anything. But let's say that Buggy (reluctantly) asks Shanks for help.
There are a lot of outcomes here, tbh, since it's hard for me to picture this situation but-- If Buggy is seriously in a big problem with Cross Guild I think Shanks wouldn't hesitate to help him? He won't kill Mihawk, obviously, but I don't see why Shanks wouldn't fight him if talking doesn't work. They get along but they're still pirates and if Buggy is in actual deadly danger he's going to help him out. I love Shanks and Mihawk too but, like, story-wise and canonically Shanks' bond with Buggy is a lot more crucial and important (as I see it) and I don't see why his bond with Mihawk would affect his decision here, tbh.
It's either that or he sends Beck and goes "haha Buggy how could you say you're in danger??? I trust you can get out of this one alone 🙏🏻 And also I don't wanna go, so here's my first mate to keep an eye on you. Don't stab him, please". And Beck wants to die a little bit because why the hell does he have to do this-
But if Shanks knew Buggy was in real deadly danger, he would help. Also, the fact that Buggy is asking him for help is enough sign of something going extremely wrong, so-
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nighttime-tummyache · 2 years
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i have never cared about taylor swift, not her music, her life, or anything. but her fans defending her and the fact that her private jet emissions are the highest of any other celebrity is fucking disgusting. she's not on tour. she's not doing anything but wasting resources and polluting the planet. but you go in the notes of that post about her private jet emissions and all you see are her disillusioned fans making excuse after excuse defending her actions. go find another mediocre white woman to defend, preferably one thats not killing the planet.
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nozomijoestar · 3 months
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Asuka is a tragic figure, a figure of mystery, a wild card, all because the only thing she wants in life is peace and quiet for herself and to feel in control- yet her secret heritage that may be hidden from her for her own protection and the reality that life is unpredictable and will go on with or without you keep ruining that delusion, that vision of how the world is meant to work to her, and she suffers regardless of what she wants, what she does, and how little she understands anything
She was born into a family preaching peace and balance and order while being a creature of violence, and puts a dozen mental locks and excuses over this truth to justify giving into her impulse for fighting by pretending she's justice when she does it
She keeps trying to build a place of safety but she's using sand and life is a wave that destroys, yet she stubbornly persists rather than give up, not drowned to the point of self centered suicidal loathing like Jin- there's contrast, where Jin is cloaked in death Asuka stubbornly clings to life and humanity as a normal person in a terrifying world
She's not a fucking narrative clone for Jun's own purpose, Asuka's purpose must be determined by Asuka herself
#tekken#Jin is born of two worlds Jun walks between two worlds Asuka is at the crossroads of two worlds#Jin is broken by it Jun traded part of her humanity to reconcile it and now Asuka has to accept it yet persist- she is always persisting#that's her strength that no matter what she's always still herself#'For being so very Y o u' as Lili told her bc she sees it#she's an interesting character BECAUSE she's not Jun and she's not Jin and she's not aligned with them entirely#stop waiting for her to be something she's not#also i think it's GOOD she doesn't know everything or everyone in her family bc that builds mystery and suspense#it gives everything a tension in the background for when the normalcy charade will be broken by the bigger family drama catching up w her#what's happening to the Mishimas should be something no one is dragged into yet the one family member who's the least connected#is going to run out of time at some point and get hit by that trauma anyway and she doesn't even Know it's coming for her eventually#isn't it fucked up. how everything catches up with you in the end#and you won't even understand it until it's too late ie. her involvement in T8 global war now#also a character that wants peace and order but actively pursues violence ensuring she will never truly have those things bc of her nature#AND she's already been traumatized by T5 Feng and T6 Jin that just makes her retreat to seeking comfort in detachment- in the familiar#which only prolongs her avoiding the world outside what she can control- and then Lili won't let her live in ignorance not to punish her#but bc she wants to help her bc the Mishimas have already put their claws in Lili- they won't catch Asuka off guard#what is it with people sanitizing the messiness and humanity characters represent in favor of 'If they just acted logically the way I want#then they'd solve the entire story 1 2 3 and we'll have everything wrapped up easy' THAT'S NOT A STORY THAT'S A MATH EQUATION#FEEL SOMETHING INSTEAD OF ALWAYS NEEDING TO SOUND SMART AND HAVE PERFECT ANSWERS YOU STUPID FUCKS#IN TRYING TO MAKE EVERYTHING HAVE A PERFECT SOLUTION YOU'VE LOST SIGHT OF WHAT'S IN THE TEXT#AND ALSO ASUKA BEING VIOLENT BUT STILL CARING ABOUT PEOPLE AND DOING GOOD DESPITE IT#and AsuLili is about two similar people who've been traumatized finding safety in each other once they put down the trauma responses#this is all in line with T8's tagline of Face Your Fate btw this is literally what was always coming finding you & you face it
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grxygreenrain · 3 months
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idk if anyones talked about it yet but the way colin growls (like legit growls ive never heard someone straight up growl with anger like that who wasnt like a werewolf character) i think he's prime material for the hunt
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witchcraftingboop · 4 months
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Yknow actually I would like to talk about my childhood. In the same way I talk about the weather or my dinner the other night, I'd like to be able to talk about things that no longer have a solid hold on me without someone turning all misty eyed or angry or telling me how "strong" I am. It'd be nice to give a voice to memories I have without being met with the overwhelming feelings of someone new hearing about them, without it being amplified in their eyes into some great and imposing beast that I'm supposed to have beat back every moment of every day. Sometimes it's just not that deep, and a person can just want to put into words things that they haven't been allowed to say before. I haven't really been able to talk in the real world about my life without someone making me feel like I've lived in some dark 1800s horror novel and appeared before their eyes like some patron saint of endurance given flesh. Which is dramatic, both to witness and experience, and it's created this unwilling, stubborn block inside me that demands I keep my thoughts to myself and side-step people's questions, no matter how intimately I know them, because I just don't want to stomach their reaction and my reaction to theirs. But, in reality, I'd like to talk about my parents' abuse and neglect with the same levity as discussing a passing storm or my cats' latest antics. It's not possible, and I get that, but that doesn't mean I can't want it.
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fictionadventurer · 11 months
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The Shocking Redemption Arc of Chester Arthur
To my great pleasure, I get to tell you about Chester A. Arthur. If you don’t know his story, that’s a surprising statement, because most people don’t even recognize his name as one of the presidents. That’s a crying shame, because this guy has the most fascinating character arc of any president I’ve come across so far. He entered the presidency as a despicable, corrupt, conniving political lackey, and left it as--
Well, I’d best get on with the story.
Chester Arthur started out as an idealist. He was the son of an abolitionist Baptist minister, and though he dropped the religion in adulthood, he remained devoted to abolishing slavery. He became a lawyer with a New York firm that argued several civil rights case, and he rose to fame in 1854 when he served as the defense attorney for Elizabeth Jennings, the Northern version of Rosa Parks. Arthur’s victory in her case led to the desegregation of New York City’s public transportation.
During the Civil War, Arthur got an appointment as New York’s quartermaster general. After the war, Arthur returned to civilian life and became a Republican “party man” who worked behind the scenes to draw in voters, funding, and supporters. He and his wife Ellen (called Nell) both loved the finer things in life, which drove Arthur to do whatever he could to gain fame, wealth, and social status.
This is where I need to explain the spoils system. For the first hundred-plus years of American politics, all federal positions were filled by appointment. When a new president came into office, he could award government positions to his supporters--"to the victor go the spoils". Federal employees were required to donate money to the ruling party. There were no requirements for education or relevant experience. Any job could be filled by anyone with the right connections. If you think that sounds like a breeding ground for corruption and cronyism, you’d be absolutely right. By the 1870s, the system was getting extremely corrupt, and there was a growing push for reform.
But not by Chester Arthur. He owed his career to the spoils system. Through his work in the party, he became the right-hand man of Roscoe Conkling, New York’s senior senator and the state’s “political boss”. Conkling was a flamboyant showman, a magnetic politician, and a ruthless man. He had been a major supporter of Ulysses S. Grant’s presidential campaign, so Grant gave Conkling control over all the federal appointments in New York. Conkling used his power to fill positions with his friends and supporters, and he was brutal in attacking anyone who got in his way.
Because Chester Arthur was Conkling’s most loyal supporter, he got the best federal job in the country—Controller of the Port of New York. Before income tax, around 60-70% of federal funds came from the tariffs at this one port. The controller got a salary similar to the president’s, plus he was able to take a percentage of all the fines they levied. At the height of his power, Chester Arthur made $50,000 a year, which is a lot when the average skilled worker at the time made $500. (A rough estimate puts his salary at $1.3 million in today’s dollars.)
Arthur was living the high life. He racked up huge tailor bills. He had a gorgeously furnished house. His job allowed him to force his employees to donate a percentage of their salary to the Republican Party, which gave him even more power within the political machine. He bought huge amounts of wine and cigars that he handed out to people he was wining and dining for the good of the party. His wife resented that he was rarely home because of his political work, but Arthur loved the machine too much to stop.
After his 1876 election, President Rutherford B. Hayes desperately tried to reform the spoils system, but was blocked every step of the way by Roscoe Conkling. Finally, in 1878, Hayes managed to remove Arthur from his position as port controller, under suspicion of corruption, which allowed Arthur to spend more time working for New York’s political machine.
In January of 1880, Arthur was in Albany working for a political campaign when his wife caught pneumonia. By the time Arthur got home, Nell had fallen into a coma, and he wasn’t able to speak with her before she died. He felt guilty over her death, and especially the lack of closure caused by his devotion to politics. But instead of changing his ways, Arthur moved in with Conkling and became more devoted to politics than ever.
Which brings us to the 1880 Republican Convention. The Republican Party was split between two warring factions—the Stalwarts like Conkling who wanted to keep things the way they were, and the Half-Breeds who wanted civil service reform. President Hayes refused to seek re-election (partly because Conkling had made his life miserable) so these two factions somehow had to agree on a new candidate. Conkling supported a third term for Ulysses S. Grant. The Half-Breeds supported James G. Blaine of Maine—who happened to be Conkling’s mortal enemy.
James Garfield was there to nominate John Sherman—the Secretary of the Treasury and the younger brother of the famous Civil War general—and I can’t go any further in this story before I tell you a little bit about him. James Garfield is one of the most ridiculous overachievers in the realm of American politics. He was born into a dirt-poor farming family (he’s the last president ever to have been born in a log cabin). At sixteen, he left home to work on a canal boat, but quit after he nearly drowned, and his mother and brother scraped up enough money for him to go to school. His first year, he paid for his tuition by working as a school janitor. His second year, the school hired him to teach six classes (while he was still a student!) and then added two more because of how popular he was. By the time he was twenty-six, he was president of that same school. He became a lawyer and was elected to Ohio’s state legislature. During the Civil War, he became the youngest person to earn the rank of general. While fighting in the Civil War, his friends put his name in as a candidate for the US House of Representatives, and Garfield won even though he refused to campaign. He then served several terms in the House, where he became popular, but he refused to seek the presidency, because he’d watched several friends become warped by their presidential ambitions.
At the 1880 Republican Convention, Garfield was the more popular Ohio candidate, but insisted he was there only to nominate Sherman. At one point in his nominating speech, Garfield asked the audience, “Now, gentleman, what do we want?” To Garfield’s horror, one man shouted, “We want Garfield!”
Garfield remained loyal in nominating Sherman, but the spark had been lit. The voting went round after round after round for two days, with the votes being split between Grant, Blaine, and Sherman, with no one getting enough to win the nomination. Garfield got one vote in the third round. In the thirty-fourth round, Garfield suddenly got seventeen votes. Garfield stood to protest, saying no one had a right to vote for him since he hadn't consented, but the president of the convention--who was secretly thrilled because he liked Garfield more than any of the other candidates--told Garfield to sit down.
By the thirty-sixth vote, Garfield had won the nomination.
Now they had to choose a vice president. Several of the delegates got the idea to throw a bone to Roscoe Conkling. He was furious that Grant had lost the nomination, and he was vindictive. Conkling controlled New York’s political machine, so without him, the Republicans would lose New York, and without New York, they’d lose the election. He had to be placated. So the delegates nominated Chester Arthur, his right-hand man, as vice president.
Conkling told Arthur to refuse the nomination, but Arthur accepted, saying it was a greater honor than he had ever hoped to achieve. That's putting it mildly. The only position he’d ever held was port controller, and he’d been removed from that. Plenty of people thought nominating him was a horrible idea—a man like Chester Arthur only one step away from the presidency? But other people thought it was a shrewd political move—it would placate Conkling’s faction of the party, and Garfield was young and healthy and would rule in a time of peace. It wasn’t like there was any chance he’d die in office.
After Garfield was elected, Arthur immediately started causing problems. He all but openly boasted of buying votes in the election—which was not a great look when it had been a close race. He was completely on Conkling’s side in his war against Garfield. After Garfield appointed Levi Morton, a Stalwart, as Secretary of the Navy, Conkling sent Arthur and another lackey to drag Morton out of his sickbed--forcing him to drink a bracing mixture of quinine and brandy--and bring him to Conkling’s house to get chewed out, which caused Morton to resign. Conkling forced another Stalwart Cabinet nominee to resign on inauguration day.
Then Conkling went to war over the federal appointments. At first, Garfield placated him, appointing several of Conkling’s candidates. But then Garfield nominated Judge Robertson as Port Controller of New York Harbor. Conkling was livid. That was the prime federal position, a major source of Conkling’s power in the party, and Robertson was one of Conkling’s political enemies. In Conkling’s mind, Garfield had stabbed him in the back. Arthur agreed, and openly bad-mouthed the president to the press.
Conkling and the other New York senator resigned their Senate seats in protest—a dramatic political move. In those days, state legislatures voted for senators, and Conkling believed that since he controlled so many New York politicians, they’d easily get re-elected to their old seats. Unfortunately, the legislature was sick of being under Conkling’s thumb. The election became a drawn-out battle, and Chester Arthur went to Albany to help Conkling in his campaign.
While he was there, the unthinkable happened. On July 2, 1881, James Garfield was shot at a train station by Charles Guiteau, an insane office-seeker. Guiteau had come to the White House every day for months seeking an appointment under the spoils system. When that failed, he decided God wanted him to get Garfield out of the way so the spoils system could continue. After he shot the president, Giteau shouted, “I am a Stalwart, and Arthur will be president!”
As you can imagine, that made things really bad for Arthur. He’d just spent months fighting the president tooth and nail, and the assassin had mentioned his name. Plenty of people thought Arthur had something to do with the shooting. He and Conkling both needed police details to protect them from lynch mobs.
Arthur didn’t want to be president; in his mind, vice president was the perfect job—a position with a lot of political leverage, but no responsibility. He went to the White House hoping to convince Garfield that he had nothing to do with the shooting, but the doctors wouldn’t let him in the room. He managed to speak to the First Lady, where he got choked up with emotion and was observed to be in tears. A reporter later found him in the house where he was staying in Washington, and noted he'd obviously been weeping.
To Arthur’s relief, Garfield seemed to get better. The bullet had missed his spinal cord and all his major organs. If he’d been left alone, Garfield would have made a complete recovery. Unfortunately, his doctors repeatedly prodded the bullet wound with unsterilized instruments, and Garfield fell victim to a massive infection. He lingered for months, slowly starving and rotting to death.
Through all this, Arthur stayed in New York and refused to take up presidential duties; with so many people accusing him of the assassination, he didn’t want to make it look like he was preparing to usurp the throne.
It eventually became clear that the assassin had acted alone, which laid the rumors to rest, but no one wanted Arthur to be president. James Garfield had been a man of the people. The working class considered him one of their own, proof that anyone could rise from poverty and become president. He was an idealist, a champion of civil rights, a family man who lived modestly. For the first time since the Civil War, a president had been supported by both the north and the south, and the country had come together in grief. Chester Arthur was Garfield’s exact opposite—a conniving political lackey who’d become a millionaire through corruption.
James Garfield died on September 19th. To the American people, it looked like their worst nightmare had come true. Conkling’s lackey was in the White House, and now Conkling would rule the nation the same way he’d ruled New York.
Yet, to everyone’s surprise, President Chester Arthur became a completely different man. In one of his first speeches, he listed civil service reform as one of his top priorities—a shocking move for a man who’d become president through the spoils system. Soon after Arthur’s inauguration, Conkling demanded he name a new Controller of the Port of New York. Arthur angrily refused and called Conkling’s demand outrageous. Conkling stormed out in fury and never forgave Arthur. (Arthur did later risk his reputation to nominate Conkling for the Supreme Court, but Conkling, ever petty, refused the position.)
Arthur didn’t have a complete personality transplant. He still lived lavishly, hosting lots of state dinners. He still preferred the social duties of the presidency to actual government work, and he was a hopeless procrastinator. Always fastidious, Arthur refused to move in to the rotting, rat-infested White House until they fixed up the dump, and he ran up extravagant bills during the remodel.
Yet, as a president, he was...respectable. He worked for African-American civil rights. He started a major process of rebuilding and reforming the outdated and corrupt navy. He did sign the Chinese Exclusion Act, but he had vetoed an earlier, harsher version and only signed a much-reduced one (that probably would have been voted in anyway if he’d vetoed it). That remodel of the White House, even if it ran over-budget, was long overdue.
Most shocking of all was his unswerving devotion to civil service reform. He continued an investigation into a government postal scandal, even though everyone assumed he’d drop it. He voiced his continuing support for reform efforts. In 1883, Arthur signed the Pendleton Civil Service Reform Act. As written, the act required only 10% of federal jobs to be assigned based on merit, and even that required the president to take action to enforce it. People assumed that Arthur would sit back and do nothing, so the spoils system would remain in place. Yet Arthur immediately formed a commission to enact the reform, even appointing some of his old enemies. The man who’d benefited most from the spoils system became the one to finally destroy it.
How do we explain such a complete and sudden change? Part of it’s a matter of personality. If I can indulge in a bit of meta, Chester Arthur seems to be a textbook example of the sanguine-phlegmatic temperament—someone who wants to fit in with the crowd, to go with the flow. As a political lackey, this made him self-serving and amoral, but as president, the crowd he had to impress was the American people. After months of getting crucified in the press, with tons of articles saying what they didn’t want him to be, he’d have plenty of motivation to become what they did want him to be.
A more important motivation, though, was death. His wife’s death was likely the first shock that would make him step back and take stock of his political career. Garfield’s death had an even more profound influence on him. The spoils system had led a madman to murder a president in Arthur’s name; if anything could motivate a man to change the system, that would be it. Even more profound than that was his own death. Not long after entering the White House, Arthur was diagnosed with a fatal kidney disease. He hid the diagnosis during his term, but his actions in office were the actions of a man doomed to die, with a mind toward the legacy he’d leave behind.
Yet there’s another stranger, more mysterious influence that I’ve left to last because of how cool the story is. The day before his death, Chester Arthur—who’d become ashamed of his old life—asked a friend to burn the vast majority of his papers. Years later, among the papers that had been spared, his grandson uncovered a packet of twenty-three letters from a 31-year-old invalid named Julia Sand. Julia came from a family very interested in politics, and her illness meant that she spent a lot of time reading the newspapers, so she was familiar with Chester Arthur’s political career. In August of 1881, she sent Chester Arthur a letter that began, “The hours of Garfield's life are numbered—before this meets your eye, you may be President. The people are bowed in grief; but—do you realize it?--not so much because he is dying, as because you are his successor.” Over seven pages, Julia scolded Arthur for his corrupt ways, but assured him of her faith in his better nature, and urged him to reform. She sent letters over the next two years, full of encouragement and scolding and political advice. She called herself his “little dwarf”, because her lack of ties to him meant she could be completely honest with him.
There’s no evidence he ever answered her. But she did offer some rather specific political advice that he seems to have followed. And he did visit her once. In 1882, he stopped by her house in the presidential carriage, surprising her and her family (who had no idea she’d been writing to the president) with an hour-long visit. She seemed to grow more frustrated with his lack of answers after that, and no letter exists after 1883.
There’s no way to say what kind of effect the letters had on him. But amid all the turmoil after the assassination, it must have meant something to have one voice saying she believed in him. She was a voice from outside the Washington political machine, who could serve as a sort of conscience. The fact that those letters survived when so much else burned suggests he considered them worth saving.
No matter the reason, the truth remains that Arthur entered the presidency as an example of all that was dirty and loathsome in the political system, and he left it as a respectable man. In giving up his old ways, he sacrificed connections he’d spent years building. His old friends never forgave him, and his old opponents never quite trusted his reform, yet he did what he thought was right even if it meant he stood alone. In summing up his presidency, I don’t think I can do better than contemporary journalist Alexander McClure: “No man ever entered the Presidency so profoundly and widely distrusted as Chester Alan Arthur, and no one ever retired... more generally respected, alike by political friend and foe.” I think that deserves to be remembered.
#history is awesome#presidential talk#i apologize but i really can't see any way to cut this down#i like the detour into garfield's nomination#i can't cut conkling out any more than i have#i can't leave out his wife#i didn't even mention that he was washington's most eligible bachelor during his term but he remained faithful to her memory#or that his sister served as hostess at the white house and helped raise his daughter (who he protected from the press as best he could)#or that he did make a half-hearted attempt to seek re-election so people wouldn't think he was slinking off in disgrace#and there was some support for him#but he didn't mind at all when someone else was nominated because he was dealing with his kidney disease#and he died in 1886#which means he had the shortest post-presidency life of anyone except james k. polk who died three months after leaving office#i did not come into last week thinking that by the end of it i'd have developed a minor specialization#in the presidency of a guy i knew only for his facial hair and his half-verse in the animaniacs song#i didn't even mention the facial hair!#go to wikipedia and see his glorious muttonchops!#say what you will about the victorians but they had wild facial hair game#but anyway here is the life story of my impeccably dressed trash panda son#who is put together on the outside and a mess on the inside#and still manages to maintain a certain dignity despite how pathetic he is#he's a mess of a human being but i love him your honor
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cuntwrap--supreme · 26 days
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Why the fuck did 5 pro-anorexia blogs follow my main overnight? Like? I'm blocking all of you, obviously. Had a friend die from starving herself in middle school. I don't fuck with that shit. One of the blogs literally had a post like, "My mom is concerned about how much weight I've lost recently, but she's just jealous that I'm not the fat kid anymore and she still is. Skinny girls don't think about recovery." Like... Please listen to your mother. Holy shit. This is self harm and she's concerned. Your mother is not jealous that she's fat and you aren't. Stop. People literally die from this shit, and promoting an extremely unhealthy lifestyle isn't cute in the slightest.
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chaseprice · 4 months
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remember when delirium was worried about destruction being gone and it was rooted in her loneliness and genuine love for her siblings and the other endless wanted to ignore her sudden upset over this because she's delirium and she gets this way sometimes, don't worry about it, she'll forget soon enough so it really doesn't matter at all. I should get to bludgeon all of them with a bat for that.
#no i am not sparing dream he was nodding along with them. eat wood you little cunts.#the value and intensity of emotions are never qualified by their duration. if someone feels something at a point especially over a#long standing subject then it is most likely that this is not new nor temporary sentiment but simply a flareup of existing emotions that#have become too large and intense to reasonably handle for any variety of reasons. just because shes only saying it now doesnt mean its not#always there but just that she now feels it umanageable enough to seek outside help which SHOULD be provided by an emotional safety net#COUGH COUGH HER FUCKING SIBLINGS.#their dismissal only exacerbated the problem and her inability to clearly articulate her distress only confirmed in their minds the wisdom#of the very action thats causing the fucking problem. which isnt her fault but theirs for assuming that because she wasnt performing what#they needed to see that it did not deserve to be seen at all.#the fact that this is the pervasive attitude of the endless explains so goddamned much about dream and desire while making their#mutual toxicity and self loathing all the more insipid and potent.#it lays bare a massive ill-functioning mechanic of their family unit and makes reference to real world issues in families with disabilities#so long story short i should get to beat their faces in with my therapy bat. called such because it is therapeutic. to me.#delirium of the endless#the endless#the sandman
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thedreadvampy · 7 months
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oh boy the depression hole is deep and it is muddy
hahaha I fell into the classic trap! overidentify with your job and considering leaving it will trigger an existential crisis!!!!
#red said#i think it's really fucking happening#i got lunch with my work bff yesterday. she's seriously looking for her next thing.#2 other people in our 9 man team have told me in confidence they're looking elsewhere as well#the work bff is a team manager and she's like yeah I'm helping everyone buff up their CVs and think about what they want#and i. do not think my boss is coming back.#she's extended her mat leave by 2 months already. i think she stepped away and realised. rightly. there's more to life than this shit.#it's not that the organisation is downsizing or any of us are in danger of redundancy#but the vibe has changed big time. it's so much more corporate and less interested in lived experience.#i think the proportion of people in senior management who have even second hand experience with homelessness is shrinking#like the last time our CEO did frontline work was like 1990. and they're expanding the management team constantly#but they're all outside hires and not people who've done frontline or community work. they're the career charity worker types.#the only things keeping me are. i want to at least get to that initial union open meeting and get the ball rolling enough#that it might have a cat's chance in hell of happening without me#and i want to get gears turning in the EDI group to get a commitment a) to acknowledge that we have a whiteness problem#and b) i want to use the funding for LGBTQ inclusion work to kickstart a project where we convene a cross-sector working group#maybe quarterly. where people working in homelessness and social support can discuss best practise for trans inclusivity#in one of the sectors where trans people are most disadvantaged in seeking support#but like if i can get movement on those things I'm fucking gone. cause the bits of my job that are my actual job?#i am getting nothing out of it now
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handgiven · 7 months
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Where does fear reside in your body?
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somewhere else;; what is known is what is safe. your fear is never inside you, always somewhere else. your home is the best place in the world; all other places are scary. the people you already know are better than anyone else. so you go on, playing with broken toys, wearing dead people's clothes. you can be torn down to shreds, abused, tortured and miserable. but at least you know where it comes from, which gives you a sense of comfort and even control. the unknown hides dangers you don't understand, so it scares you. but alongside the dangers, you miss the wonder, adventures and opportunities that you could've otherwise had. my guess is that you've dealt with grief and loss.
tagged by: @spookyagentfmulder tagging: @talentforlying @void-foxy @jefuiitor && anyone else who sees this and feels inclined to take this uquiz (tag me! i'll love to see your results !!)
#not me having a 3am cry about emmanuel carving out a safe space each time he gets a new flat around the world#and it's just universally understood as this sacred place where anyone may come who needs help or even just wants to see him#but everyone who comes needs to respect others that may already be there.#enemies meet in that aura of peace and have tea together. o r at the very least exist in that space together in spite of their differences#and it's all done thru emmanuel's.. aura alone. there's no good omens embassy laws or anything. there's just emmanuel.#because once you meet him. once you get to know him. you want to be as good as the way he sees you.#that's how he makes people better. that overwhelming kindness that doesn't Change them but that seeks the best version of them#he's not afraid. not really. fear is not a physical thing to him. (anxiety is.)#hnnnng perhaps because emmanuel as a sentiment is the opposite of fear. he is acceptance. he is love. he is community.#of course the fear lives outside of emmanuel. where emmanuel is not. out of his reach. out of his control.#yet he tries to expand his sphere at all times. like with the little acts of kindness to change the world for the better. ahvjdmvskd#rant OVER. im just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#'the people you already know are better than anyone else' is supposed to be an expression of being scared to meet the new ones#BUT HE DOES MAKE THE PEOPLE HE KNOWS BETTER. avdajskdvsakjdvnaskdvn#okay okay okay really over now omg#▻ 𝐺𝐸𝑁𝐸𝑅𝐴𝐿 、dashboard games ⁽ ᵖᵃˢˢ ᶦᵗ ᵒⁿ ⁾
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the-teddy-bear-butch · 2 months
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Sometimes I really just need to hear “I’m proud of you” even when I fail.
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sister-sp1d3r · 5 months
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special reminder if you demonize personality disorders [especially npd] you suck balls dick and ass.
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bitchthefuck1 · 7 months
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"all women who like succession are either hardcore tomgregs or they're into roy sibling incest but won't admit it and sublimate that into kenstewy shipping" is not a take i expected to read with my own two eyes in the year of our lord 2023 and yet here we are.
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