#can’t believe I have to do everything myself

[fandomfluffandfuck]

It’s been a bit since I wrote about feral!Bucky but I genuinely cannot put into words how much Steve (and me) loves him

Bucky now associates physical touch with pain, with torture. He hides from visitors, scampers away from touch, and never lets anyone get close to him. Nevertheless, Steve wakes up from a nap one day with Bucky curled into his side, and Steve is pretty sure that if he could, Bucky would be purring like a kitten. 

“Bucky?” Steve asks tentatively, trying not to spook him. Bucky doesn’t seem to be upset by Steve sudden consciousness, instead just making a small noise and wrapping his arms around Steve’s chest possessively. He mumbles something that sounds like “Stevie”. 

“You alright, angel?” Steve asks with a grin, confused but pleased with the change in Bucky’s demeanor. He knew Bucky had always been closer with Steve, trusting him more than others, but this was still new territory. He slides his arms around Bucky, which causes Bucky to make a happy noise that Steve hasn’t heard in years. 

————

Also, maybe Bucky’s a bit territorial now that he’s been given more freedom. The poor thing doesn’t know what to do with himself. However, after consulting a bunch of psychiatrists and Dr. Banner, Steve knows what he needs to do. He empties out an old walk in closet, and fits it with as many soft things as he can find. He buys as many plushies as he can afford, and stuffs the closet with them. He remembers how much Bucky hates harsh lights now and decides to buy those pretty string lights that Peter has in his room at the tower. He shows it to Bucky when it’s finished and they’ve both had a good day. 

“It’s all your own space, Buck. I’m never going to come in here without your permission. I swear it.” Steve says, holding Bucky’s hand, which lately Bucky won’t let go of. 

“It’s… mine?” Bucky says, slowly, tentatively. He’s scared that all of this will be taken away. 

“Yeah, Buck. Yours.” Steve says, as comforting and securely as I can, trying to make his confidence transfer to Bucky. 

Steve is tackled in a hug, and there are tears wetting his shirt. He hugs Bucky back, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. 

“Thank you.” The whisper is so soft, so small, that it’s almost imperceptible. But Steve hears it. He’ll always hear Bucky. 

————

Then, of course, there’s the moment when Steve’s telling Bucky about life back in Brooklyn, a topic that Bucky is very interested in. He’s going on about something that they did to piss off Becca (“we were teenagers, Buck. The best entertainment we had was making that poor girl mad.”) when Bucky stops him. 

“I remember.”

Steve drops the pencil he’s holding. “You… You do?” There’s so much hope in his voice. There’s unshed tears in Bucky’s eyes, and a small smile on his face. 

“Yes. Rebecca. My Becca.” Bucky’s smile gets bigger, as does Steve. Steve rushes to his side, hugging him. Bucky’s crying, and Steve’s not far behind him. Bucky laughs, and it is the best goddamn sound Steve Rogers has ever heard. “She was so mad. I can’t believe we did that.” He giggles, and it makes Steve feel like maybe everything will be okay. 

previous feral!Bucky

Me too! I am such a fucking sucker for feral Bucky

I am beside myself thinking about Bucky being so touch adverse only for Steve to wake up and find him tucked into his side 😫 and there's something so special, too, about Bucky having moments in recovery where he's so suddenly more himself. It makes it so much more painful to see the rapid realignment. It's as if he's found two loose ends and knotted them together as quickly as his fingers would allow to ensure that he doesn't misplace them again. Gah! It's so just 🤌🏻ouch🤌🏻

Oh my god!! The territorial thing, yes! I've had this in my notes for actual years, waiting for me to come back to it and do something with it:

Sometimes, during Bucky's recovery, he latches onto things with this ferocity, holding until his fingers hurt, distraught when he accidentally breaks it, if the object of desire is fragile, claiming "mine." He won't let anyone touch it, not unless it's over his dead body. Steve has genuinely never been so distraught and proud of someone for grabbing a mug and declaring it as their own. Bucky deserves to have his own things.

Same wavelength, lmao

That's so fucking sweet, though! I love the idea of Bucky having his own space. (And I love the idea of Peter's room in the tower having fairy lights. Fuck yeah.)

Ah! That last part is the fucking best. Steve will never be as eager to be interrupted as he is when he's in the middle of a story, and Bucky stops him because he remembers. He doesn't need to tell him again, he remembers. Steve could fucking kiss him. Steve will kiss him. Steve will pick him up and spin him around, clutching his waist all the while, a huge grin on his face.

In conclusion:

Thank you so, so much for this!!

#asks #sillysickly #anon provided writing #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #hurt/comfort

[rainba]

what if darling cries during sex or aftercare, and once they calm down a bit, maybe apologise for getting too emtional (totally not projecting) and say that they feel so lucky to have their yan/they can't believe that they're here with their yan right now huehehehe i love soft emotional hurt/comfort

kind of on the same note (but not really) what are some awkward moments during with the yans? something about that feels really endearing and makes them more human, y'know?

tank yew for the yummy content :] don't forget to drink water n love yourself a lil you deserve it ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

on that note i should probably drink some water myself...

Awww… I feel like both of the yans would feel a little bad, but they’d try their best to comfort their darling. ╰(*´︶`*)╯

For Kairos, he'd definitely wrap his arms around you without hesitating and pull you into a loving embrace. He’d press your face into his chest while resting his chin on the top of your head, shushing you and telling you it’ll all be okay– and that he’s so lucky to have you, too. (o´∀`o)

Kairos absolutely loves being able to comfort you– it makes him feel all warm inside, and he can’t help but feel as if he has a sense of purpose as he calms you down and showers you in his love.

To be honest, Kairos would probably end up crying right along with you... Then afterwards, he’d ask if you wanna take a bubble bath with him, or if you wanna just lay down and take a nap/go to sleep...

He’d also try and make you laugh afterwards– but his humor consists of either really dry puns or jokes that require you to be chronically online to understand them. So... I hope you find those things funny too! ┐(シ)┌

If you don't, he'll try to "get a better sense of humor" for you...!

As for Luka– while he does like seeing his darling cry, that's only when he has total control over the situation and knows that he's not genuinely hurting you. During the times he gets too aggressive during sex, he always feels regretful afterwards and tries to make it up to you.

So, if you start crying when he's trying to be genuine with you, it’d probably be a little awkward for him. ^^;;

Since he doesn’t understand strong emotions very well, he’d be kind of confused as to why you’re crying. Like… Did he hurt you? Did he say something that triggered this?

Luka would stop everything he’s doing and sit beside you as he wipes your tears away with the back of his hands, asking you to tell him what’s wrong. If you say that you just feel so lucky to have him, he honestly will be left speechless.

You're crying… Because you feel lucky? Lucky to have him? Aren't you only supposed to cry when you're upset or in pain?

Crying tears of joy isn't just a myth?

Truthfully, he’d space out for a bit and be lost in his own thoughts, fully trying to process what you said to him. After he spends a few minutes just staying by your side and wiping your tears, he’ll lean in and softly kiss your lips, asking you if there’s anything that you need from him. It can be anything at all– just tell him, and he’ll get it for you. It doesn’t matter how big or small. ( ´ ▽ ` )

If his darling cries after sex often, Luka will slowly get better and better at comforting you– he makes it his ultimate goal to learn how to best care for you and tend to all your needs.

Oh, and...

"...I'm lucky to have you, too. I love you."

(Also, thank U for the concern!! I try my best to take care of myself :3c I hope you and everyone else who reads this also does the same!! Go…… Drink water and love yourself…… (´｡• ᵕ •｡`))

#ask #kairos posting #luka posting

[grandapplewit]

The fact that there are NO Kíli/Tauriel arranged marriage AU’s… heresy

#can’t believe I have to do everything myself #vile calumny #especially ones that are set in a no-dragons AU #or perhaps an AU where Thranduil did help the dwarves with Smaug the first time around #or even an AU where an arranged marriage is used to get Mirkwood’s backing for the quest #any #all #please I beg #or I could just #yknow #write them #tauriel #kili #tauriel x kili #what is their ship name??? #I’ve never figured it out #kiliel #? #whatever

[blazingblorbos]

I was busy within the hour this released. but I'm here now and. ... oh boy just bear with me

I'm gonna just... copy/paste my initial thoughts as I watched this, here, for the next couple lines:

Final Results:

Now listen to me, I need to scream into the void all my newfound realizations and woes but it's 1:30 in the morning and I need to wake up early the next day. So understand that I'm making this as short as gayly possible (it may not be short at all).

Aside from all the lesbian saxophone that my eyes just witnessed, which is a scream that will never make contact with any airwaves - digital or otherwise - ... The last two minutes of that trailer were entirely unexpected.

Now don't get me fucking wrong I wasn't NOT paying attention to the section of the teaser during the livestream that showed us a glimpse of Black Swan's fear and surprise drowning in that fiery background. but. ... bro— FUCKING COME ONNNN MAN!!

HOW FAST THE SCENE FLIPPED, HOW QUICKLY- WHATEVER THAT THING (IT DEFINITELY WASN'T THE ACHERON WE KNOW) WAS TOOK THE LEAD and LITERALLY tossed Black Swan around like a helpless bird. a PREDATOR chasing their PREY

AND THE PREY IS BLACK FUCKING SWAN???? THE FUCKING MEMOKEEPER FROM THE GARDEN OF RECOLLECTION?? THE MYSTERIOUS AND ELEGANT SOOTHSAYER???

To see Black Swan of ALL characters in this game so far be filled with such visceral fear and trepidation, to be tossed around at the MERCY of something that could have so EASILY killed her just like. t h a t. is beyond insane.

I expected it to be more of a "What terrible horrors have you commited?" 'Wow! Horrors that even Black Swan thinks is terrible, Acheron is capable of s-' no she literally almost killed her. She's not a human by the way. Black Swan is not a human being anymore she is like. coNdEnseD mEmORy AND SHE LITERALLY ALMOST DIED. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???

also, we love Allegra Clark in this house this woman is hilarious

#everything I've (HSR pfp obviously) said in these screenshots is completely /j but also I'm dead serious #holy shit #Honkai #Honkai: Star Rail #Honkai Star Rail #HSR #Black Swan when I catch you #you dastardly unapologetic lesbian #actually a fuck around -> find out moment #Allegra Clark the WOMAN THAT YOU ARE #the way you can see BS desperately try to fly away numerous times only for Acheron to drag her back and tear her to shreds more and more #ridiculous #utterly ridiculous #how did they do it #idk if y'all get it I really hold Black Swan to this imperceptible standard #like she really is a divine being (in my mind at least) #her ability to perceive the things that may very well happen in the near & distant future is a CRAZY thing #and it makes her seem so untouchable #so for them to take it to. THIS. extent I just.... I just could never have readied myself for it #Black Swan #Acheron #HSR Acheron #HSR Black Swan #Honkai Star Rail animated short #Rondo Across Countless Kalpas #I loved everything about the trailer btw #Youtube #blazingshitpost #blazingshitpost star rail edition #ALSO!! Arryn Zech’s voice is out to get me. CAN’T believe I nearly forgot to mention that

[mcybree]

considering my brand is bitching about FH all day, sometimes I feel bad at convincing myself wcsmp didn’t end well for scott and milo. Like damn girl leave him with SOMETHING…

#In my defense exactly 0 people were seriously expecting the good ending #i saw people jokingly predict milo wouldn’t give a fuck about the murders or the selling his soul for immortality or the #But then again you need to be able to look past the horrors to date scott i think. the concerning level of attachment was part of the deal #I just. Ohhh I cant look past what he was willing to do for milo. I can’t look past the amount of self destruction #Glad it ended well for him but the canon ending is like. some better alternate reality fantasy for me #Which is crazy because IT IS THE CANON ENDING ITS LITERALLY REAL #but i still catch myself thinking man… I wish everything worked out for him and milo :/ #AS IF IT DIDNT???? #HES LITERALLY HAPPY AND IN LOVE???? #I just cant believe it like there’s no way #What happens when milo dies again. Scott is still a litch with like eight spare souls its very unlikely he dies first #What happens then? Eight consecutive suicides? #Like girl please go to therapy before that happens. Im afraid of what you’ll do to the world or yourself or both #*he* might not have magic anymore but he’d figure out something for sure #bree barks so fucking loud

[shiqingxuanz]

ranwan wip

#help idk what to do with the background #the colors on ranwan themselves don’t look saturated enough (i like saturation) but that’s an easy fix #and i have to clean up the lines and properly render the clothes and hair still #also i feel like chu wanning’s face looks off to me #like it’s not bad but it’s not what i had in mind #i think it’s got something to do with the face shape i think the jaw is too wide maybe #idk i’ll mess around and see #the canvas looks weirdly yellow every time i go back to look at it but that’s just because i added this light yellow layer above everything #because i was going to do the lighting. and then i didn’t. so it’s only half done #also can’t believe i drew the pose myself and it actually turned out nice because usually it doesn’t and then i give up and never come back #wait i think i should fix chu wanning’s shoulder a bit #erha #snow.art

[plugnuts]

Grabs outlaw Tweek by the scruff this man can hold SO many fckin feelings in him

#bits of banter #south park #tweek tweak #so much thoughts. too much thoughts. #I still can’t believe that. out of ALL the Tweek’s I could get so attached to. #it’s this fuckin one #fuckin….. outlaw tweek #HOW AND WHY #I’m not even a huge fan of cowboy or wild west or whatever aus so. how #well whatever there are unresolved FEELINGS in this man that I hold in my head. painfully #I mean I got obsessed over wonder tweek and even barbarian tweek for a time #but like. those guys have so much fanart and even have GAMES #and they appeared in the SHOW! and SPOKE! #outlaw tweek had one tiny cameo and makes his home in a mobile game of which he speaks very little lines in. there is. no lore. #gotta do everything mYSELF

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[dykehayleywilliams]

the funniest thing about the semifinal poll that’s big weekend 2013 v. paramore is a band is that both of those are my own personal nominations. another classic example of playing myself 🤡

#most of the outfits included were submissions from y’all #but I included some on my own that were a mix of ‘I can’t believe someone didn’t nominate this I have to do everything myself’ #and personal favorite outfits to get the bracket at an even number #but yep. these two were both mine 🤡 #my mission for big weekend 2013 to win the whole thing foiled by myself

[shima-draws]

Work was reeeeeal stressful today and my anxiety’s suuuper high rn lmao. Send some asks?

#Shima speaks #I’m probably gonna play the new Genshin update to help me wind down a bit hfhfhhfh #It’s always crazy busy at EOM. I wasn’t even able to get everything in 😔 #It’ll be fine I know. It was just a long day lol #Anyway. Genshin. I have not been playing at all the last few weeks ooos #*oops #I tried pulling for Xianyun with the little primos I had #Got a 5 star my first pull but it was Keqing 😭 #It’s okay I’ll grind primos while I explore the new region :’) #Haha can’t believe One Piece has distracted me from even Genshin. Which I play religiously. LMAO #Ughh there’s so much I gotta DO I need to draw but I don’t want to put more stress on myself rn #Just play viddy games Shima……no more working today for you……

[redhotarsenic]

I dunno I’m trying very hard to not be a sad shithead online but it’s getting increasingly difficult

#it’s like I have this really vicious creature in me that wants to tear down everything it sees and drag it to hell #that’s how sad and stressed out I am #there is also the Nothingness that is the most prevalent #you know the first time I heard a stranger actually say to my face that they believed in me I almost broke down then and there? #was around the time I was first starting at my first job #had to fuckin excuse myself to the bathroom as soon as I had the chance so I could fuckin collect myself #even then I was Fucked Up the rest of the day #first time in a long time that I actually felt like a real life person to any degree #and now that’s withered and gone and I’ve returned to blissful nonexistence #at least the torment will be over eventually though. looking forward to that day. I’m so tired #feel like I’ve lived a hundred years. can’t believe there’s more Existence I have to slog through. #I’ll try to do what good I can while I twiddle my damn thumbs and wait for the timer to tick down though. #personal

[boysgenuis]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

#found an rp that i want to join so i’m going all out on making this muse and everything #if i don’t get accepted i’m setting myself on fire #anyway in an effort to be normaler abt the ships i have i’m going to focus on That for a while 😌 #i haven’t applied for an rp since fu/rther 😭 i can’t believe i used to do this regularly 😭 #but if someone else applies for the skeleton i want i’m not applying DJFHSKDG

[babyfairy]

weekend is here. time for 24/7 intense panic-inducing intrusive thoughts

#with no distractions bc all i do is isolate myself so people don’t see me in my most repulsive state of being 😋👍 #truly feel undeserving of anything good really #i genuinely believe bad things happen to me regularly for a reason #and i might not be aware of it but i’m doing something to deserve or warrant it #and it’s only a matter of time until i’m all alone with no other option but to k*** m***** 😋 lolz #anyway i ate for the first time today (depressed) and now i feel sick and it’s triggering my emetophobia so you know #all around winner of a night #can’t wait to endure a thousand more just like it!!!!! i have nothing to look forward to in the near future and everything is bleak 😍 #i feel like i’m going to have a fucking psychotic episode bro lol like my mind is going a mile a minute every waking moment #but that’s life (heart) i love it here btw

[melxody]

I’m gonna be honest there is a part of me that just knew Natalie was going to either be super swing on West End or become the universal due to her history with Six like I just had a strong feeling when she left the tour she wasn’t actually going anywhere even with how a lot of the Queendom feels about her (as someone who did not see the direct posts she made I can not comment on it with full knowledge apologies)

That and like I said if your name is Natalie and you have played Seymour you’re never going to leave you signed a life contract

#natalie pilkington #six the musical #I believe people when they say she and her fiancé have done things I just can’t see it myself #as in she deleted some of those posts people talked about so I legit never got to confirm for myself #and I do wonder if the company is really aware of any of it or just idk man #I’m just not shocked she got this role even with her backlash since all her cast mates and crews seem to love her #and she’s already played everything in more then one cast #six

[floral-hex]

Just canceled all of my future therapy appointments. Big fudgin’ bummer. Did I mention I lost my insurance? Didn’t even find out about that until the day it lapsed. Trying to find a way to fix it now, reapplying and whatnot, but ya know, it’s bureaucracy so who knows how long it’ll take. Just fingers crossed I don’t run out of meds first.

lol it’s underwater 🐠

#ugggghhhhh so sad #like genuinely I think my therapist rocks #he’s the best one I’ve ever had. nice and cool but no BS and just harsh enough to push me #I feel like such a baby for saying it but literally the number one thing I’ve wanted these last few weeks was to go to therapy #I had to skip my last appointment so I haven’t seen him in weeks #between my mom’s organ transplant and driving back and forth to see her everyday and taking care of my bros aaand super suicidal birthday #I’m just… I’m tired. I want to vent. I just want to spill my guts for an hour and maybe cry a lot #and I can’t do that with anyone else. I know that’s dumb to say #I 100% can’t complain to my family because ya know I gotta be strong and they don’t need me being a burden #and I love my mutuals but I don’t know any of you anywhere well enough to feel comfortable venting #I mean. y’all can vent to me all day. I’ll gladly listen to you talk about yourselves. I’m here for it. I just can’t do it myself 😕 #I’m so tired and anxious and I don’t want to really get into the self harm talk but I’ve had some serious self destructive thoughts lately #I don’t know what I’m going to do #I have to believe it’ll get better #because if I don’t believe that then… what’s the point? #also.. I’m really fucking lonely. just to throw that out there. if you can’t tell by my reblogs. #I am like desperately and ravenously lonely and full of longing #and you add that to everything else it’s just the sad little cherry on top… #now I want an ice cream sundae… mmmm…. #I need 1000 hugs and to sit with someone and maybe get fucked up and complain and sit in silence and and and blegh #but that’s life. it’ll be… it’ll be whatever it is. #sorry. this is a bit too heavy for this time of morning #I’ve been sick. really bad vertigo and vomiting and I’m just wiped out and sad #but I love you stranger or at least I like you enough to be okay with you reading this #okay be safe #goodbye forever #text

[pepprs]

i cannot express enough how damaging it is mentally and emotionally that i still live here 🤣

#purrs #the way everything is ALWAYS my fault! the way that my parents are gods who can never make any mistake or admit to wrongdoing and everything #they ever do is justified but then when i (a fully grown adult) also try to explain when i didn’t do anything wrong or when it’s not #actually my fault it doesn’t apply lol. the way i am asking for permission for things THEY SHOUKD BE ASKING ***ME*** for permission for LOL #the way i found out only recently (yeah.) that im still legally / financially a dependent 😍😍😍😍😍😍 awesome. lolololol. the way i can’t get out #of the quicksand until i get out of the quicksand but in order to get out of the quicksand i have to be able to get out of the quicksand 😻🙏🏻 #delete later #btw i just finished my first homework assignment ive had to do in a year and 3 months and my first class is in 15 hours. what if i *** rn. #also ​it occurred to me the other day like. i have always thought of myself as selfish and imparient but also… these were things my parents #were telling me i was / treating me like i was as young as 3-4 years old as evidenced by the video tapes. and like. what if that’s not #actually how i was / am and everything i did and needed and do and need was valid and justified and what if all the bad things i believe(d) #about myself were / are because they told me that’s who i was and i was too little to know they were wrong. 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯