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rafael-silva · 3 years

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you light me up: a tarlos fic

Carlos goes to visit TK when he’s home from the hospital and helps to calm the storm of thoughts raging inside the firefighter’s head. Carlos’s presence grounds TK and anchors him, as they navigate their developing relationship and dynamic with a few realizations along the way.

Missing scene from 1.09

missing scene, hurt tk strand, worried carlos reyes, hurt/comfort, whump, emotional hurt/comfort, developing relationship, comfort, tk needs a hug, carlos gives him hugs

whumptober 2021: day 10 - flare up

2.3k | rated T | on ao3

*****

TK’s been in the same position on the couch for the past thirty minutes since he finally managed to get Owen out of the house to make it to his shift on time. The fire captain hesitated in the living room for a good ten minutes before TK reassured him that he’s fine, totally, completely okay on his own. But TK could tell his father was starting to reconsider going to work.

“You know, I think it would be okay if I take one more shift off, Judd is in charge and everything is fine at the firehouse.”

“Dad,” TK pressed while his eyebrows traveled up his forehead. “Go, I’ve got everything I need.”

“Take it easy, TK. I mean that, you’re still in the early stages of healing and any—”

“Any effort or wrong movement can cause more damage,” TK had continued for him. “I got it, dad, I promise.”

A moment later, Owen sighed and nodded. “Okay, but if anything changes…”

“I’ll call,” TK concludes.

He decided to play a random comedy movie after surfing Netflix for a few minutes. He just needed some background noise to hopefully quieten the storm of thoughts raging inside his head. And maybe the movie can get a laugh or two out of him, that wouldn’t hurt either.

He was still wrapping his head around it, getting shot and the prognosis. The doctors were hopeful about his recovery, his initial tests after he woke up showed promise and they said PT would guarantee that TK’s shoulder would be back to a hundred percent. It would take some time to get there, but they assured him he would be able to go back to work with no complications once he was cleared.

But the question currently bouncing inside his head, did he want to go back to being a firefighter?

The doorbell ringing brings him back from his thoughts, and he gently puts the cushion he was hugging down and gets to his feet.

TK opens the door and a smile spreads on his face. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Carlos replies, reciprocating the smile.

Carlos quickly surveys TK’s form and his facial expressions morphs into one of concern at how TK is holding up his injured arm in midair across his stomach and then moves to cradle it.

“Are you sure you shouldn’t be wearing a sling?” Carlos asks as he steps into the house.

TK shrugs his good shoulder but the movement still slightly aggravates his other one. “Probably, but I’ve been sitting down all day and I had it resting on a pillow.”

TK leads Carlos into the living room and slowly sits back on the couch again, Carlos following him.

“You sure you’re okay?”

TK nods around a wince. “Yeah, the pain comes and goes, it’s fine.”

Carlos wants to say you’re not fine, TK, you have a hole in your chest, but refrains from doing that because TK is pretty aware of said fact. So Carlos nods, not wanting to push. He settles for keeping a close eye on the younger man.

They lapse into comfortable silence, and TK feels lighter in Carlos’s presence as they both watch the TV screen. Carlos easily emits comfort, the man’s been there for a few minutes and TK already feels better. And even in silence, there’s a sense of calm and tranquillity that radiates off of Carlos, and it’s infectious. And if TK is being completely honest, he’s starting to long for it.

He directs his gaze to the officer and Carlos returns it with a smile, the silver sparkle shimmers in his beautiful brown eyes and TK can willingly get lost in those irises forever. If he chooses to.

He deliberates with himself for a few seconds before speaking a statement that makes his heart beat faster in his chest.

“I’m glad you could make it before your shift,” TK says, his eyes not leaving Carlos’s.

And the way Carlos’s smile widens and his eyes get even more captivating, the leap was worth it.

“Me too, I was happy to get your text this morning,” Carlos replies.

They’ve been exchanging texts on and off since TK woke up. Well, more off than on, and they had slowed down a bit once TK got home, TK trying to find his footing amid the curveball life had tossed his way, but he always longed for the officer when they weren’t talking. Carlos never pushed, was always responsive and easy going and TK wanted to keep the conversation going for hours, but found himself pulling back every while.

He and Carlos have been in uncharged territory for some time now, more than friends but not quite a couple. They were heading towards something, something bubbling between them in the weeks prior to TK getting shot, and they both felt it, but then said curveball happened and knocked TK off balance.

It took him by surprise, how quickly and easily he started falling for Carlos. It had never occurred to him, nor was he ready for it to happen, when he first moved to Austin. But it feels natural with Carlos, it feels right, even if it’s terrifying for TK. It’s a constant tug of war inside him, wanting to be close to Carlos and feeling that pull between them, the pull that feels so genuine and so organic, yet on the other side, TK is still reeling from what happened in New York, and his walls still built high and thick.

But he also knows that slowly, Carlos has been helping him bring those walls down. TK realizes he wants to bring down those walls when he’s with Carlos, and maybe that’s what scares him the most.

But with the way Carlos is looking at him now, the amount of genuine care and affection drawn on his face and flickering in his eyes, TK feels that fear start to trickle away.

“How was your morning?” TK asks, a small smile on his face.

“It was good,” Carlos replies. “I went for a run and then had an orange juice. It’s a pretty nice spot, that juice bar. I think you’d like it,” he says easily.

TK’s smile widens a little. “I’m sure I would. You know all the best juice bars in Austin.”

“I do,” Carlos confirms. “We can stop by this one when you’re feeling better,” he suggests.

TK nods after a moment. “I’d love that.”

A few moments tick by and TK takes a deep breath, thinking, just a few seconds of bravery and then he’s reaching for Carlos’s hand.

“Thank you for being here,” TK voices, his eyes not leaving Carlos’s.

Carlos’s expression softens even more and he gently squeezes TK’s hand. “Of course.”

Carlos’s relaxed expression changes into one of tension and concern when TK starts wincing and closes his eyes, clamping his jaw shut and Carlos can see the way his teeth are pressed harshly against each other.

“TK?” Carlos speaks, worry coating his tone.

TK wants to reply, to reassure Carlos that he’s okay, but he currently can’t utter a single word, the fire in his veins and the pain pulsating in his shoulder and down his arm are the only things he can focus on.

He tells himself to breathe through it, that it will pass, but all he can do is push out a throaty groan. He feels Carlos stiffen even more next to him, unsure of what to do, but his weight on the cushion next to him gives TK something to focus on aside from the burning in his shoulder. But it hurts, it hurts so much, the pain throbbing and TK wants to scream.

He must have let out a strained noise because a few moments later, through the haze of hot agony, he can hear Carlos’s words filtering into his ears, his comforting and soothing words.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Carlos repeats. “It will pass, just squeeze my hand if you need to. You’re okay.”

And TK does. He squeezes Carlos’s hand and the pain, finally, starts to lessen until he can draw in a full breath. He shakily exhales and when he opens his eyes, he’s much closer to Carlos than he remembers. In fact, he’s so close to Carlos there’s no doubt the other man can feel the pants he’s currently puffing out colliding with his neck.

He unconsciously gravitated towards Carlos.

The realization sends heat crawling up TK’s neck and face, settling into his cheeks and painting them pink. He slowly lifts his gaze to meet Carlos’s but Carlos doesn’t comment on their sudden close proximity and he doesn’t pull back. TK is met with wide, worried brown eyes, and he’s so close he can see the speaks of light brown swimming in Carlos’s dark brown irises. They’re breathtaking.

Carlos’s eyes roam over TK’s face, intently studying him with a slight crease engraved in his forehead.

“Hey, TK, you with me?” Carlos asks a moment later.

TK clears his throat and pulls back a little. “Yeah,” he whispers. “Sorry, that was a bad flare up.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Carlos replies kindly, a hand going to rest on TK’s uninjured shoulder. “Do they usually get this bad?”

“This has been the worst one so far,” TK says. “But the doctor said the flare ups will range in intensity, but knowing that doesn’t make being ready for them any easier,” he sighs.

“Do you need anything?” Carlos follows up. “Is there anything I can get you?”

“Maybe some water?” TK answers. “The glasses are in the top left cabinet and the fridge has a water dispenser.”

Carlos nods and gets up, returning with the glass of water less than a minute later.

“Here,” he hands it to TK, who accepts it with a slightly trembling hand.

“Thank you,” TK breathes before taking a sip and then letting Carlos help him place it on the table in front of them. “Carlos, I’m okay,” he adds when he still observes the worry lines on his face.

Carlos gives TK’s hand another squeeze and runs the pad of his thumb across TK’s skin.

It’s intimate and grounding, the gesture sending a silent message between them as they keep their eye contact, peering into each other through brown and green gates.

TK feels bare, like Carlos can read him inside out, can read him like an open book, and he feels his walls crumble a little more. He swallows and doesn’t shy away, because it also feels safe.

Carlos feels safe, and TK lets himself soak up that safety, he lets is engulf him.

There’s a lot bouncing around in TK’s head, a lot he needs to work through and figure out, but for the first time since he woke up in the hospital, he feels a weight has been lifted off his chest, and he attributes that to Carlos being close.

Yeah, Carlos is safety.

He gives Carlos another smile before he hesitantly starts to pull back and untangles their connected hands, immediately missing Carlos’s touch and warmth.

He leans back against the couch, his eyes drifting back to the television.

“This movie has some good laughs,” TK says with a smile.

Carlos follows TK’s line of sight. “Yes, it does.”

They sit in silence for a while, TK zoning out every now and then and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Carlos.

“What are you thinking about?” Carlos asks in a low tone.

Too much, TK wants to say. But it’s all a jumbled mess in his head right now and he’s not sure he can even voice it in proper words or thoughts yet, so instead, he answers with the thought he can properly voice.

“I’ve been thinking about that little boy,” he eventually replies. “What he must be going through.”

Carlos nods. “It’s tough.”

“He just wanted to protect his family,” TK says.

“Do you know how he’s doing?”

“Dad told me he’s getting help and seeing a counselor,” TK nods. “But it must be so much for a child to carry.”

“He’s got his family looking out for him and helping him, that’s the most important thing,” Carlos says with empathy.

“I was thinking maybe there’s something I could do to help,” TK states.

Carlos waits for him to elaborate.

“Maybe I can go visit him, if his parents would be okay with that, of course,” TK continues. “I’m still wrapping my head around what happened, I don't even remember it, but I’ll be fine. I’ll go through recovery and some PT and I’ll be fine, but what about that boy? Thinking about what he’s going through, I want to help and maybe seeing me will help him.”

A soft smile spreads on Carlos’s face. “That’s very thoughtful, TK. I think they would appreciate the gesture.”

“I just want to make sure he knows I know that it was an accident and that I’m fine and I don’t blame him. I think that would make a difference.”

“I think it would, too,” Carlos agrees. “And I think that would help you feel better, too.”

Butterflies flutter in TK’s stomach at Carlos’s reassurance and support, and he feels a warmth settling in his core.

When it’s inevitably time for Carlos to leave for his shift, he tries stalling a little, not wanting to leave TK. TK notices and reassures him he’s fine, and Carlos makes absolute sure that TK doesn’t need anything before he steps out.

And when TK leans in for a soft hug, Carlos gently wraps his arms around TK, mindful of his injury and TK once again, gravities towards the officer and closer into his arms.

“I’ll text you,” TK promises when they separate.

Carlos smiles and nods. He studies TK a little more for any signs of lingering pain or discomfort. Assured that TK is okay, and after a moment of consideration, he leans down and brushes a kiss to the corner of TK’s mouth.

TK’s eyes light up.

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lire-casander · 3 years

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un secreto perdido al calor de tenerte ~ ch.2 ~ the second week

[4,350 words]

infinite thanks to @meloingly for her help! tagging @marjansmarwani @shlesinger and @officereyes because they were really interested in this story! let me know if you want to be tagged in future updates!

the second week

read on ao3

“Iʼm so auditioning for the fall play at the Drama Club,” Iris announces as she flops down on their table at the cafeteria. Her apple juice perilously shakes on top of the tray she’s dropped on the surface. “I can totally sing Cabaret.”

“I don't doubt it for a second,” TK tells her, looking up from his sandwich. “But there will be a lot of people auditioning, Iris. Josie has already said she’s getting the part.”

“Itʼs cute that you think she can take the spotlight from me.”

Paul shoves her playfully on the shoulder as she speaks, earning himself a glare from Iris.

Carlos snickers into his juice. He’s been listening to Iris talking about the auditions for the whole week and a half that theyʼve been attending school, heʼs tired of it but Iris is still amusing. Carlos doesn’t doubt she’s aware of how badly she sings — but Iris has decided that this year she’s going to step on Josieʼs toes just because.

Carlos knows they all want revenge for how she treated Paul last year — for the havoc that she created and the hell that she turned his life into with her selfishness. That's why neither he nor the rest speak up when Iris expresses her desire to steal the attention from Josie, or when TK gets all defensive of Paul or when Mateo and Marjan gang up to shelter Paul from the abusive dicks that still think it's cool to stomp onto his things and spread rumors about him. Grace is the one in charge of keeping Judd in line when he wants to clock some of the guys in the football team because they keep saying slurs.

“When do the auditions start?” Marjan pipes in, leaving her tray on the table and moving quickly to allow Mateo — who's always closely following her — to set his tray as well and sit down beside her.

“Thursday after third period,” Iris replies. “Michelle has already offered to help me with my chords.”

“You still have a couple of days,” TK smiles. “Youʼve got this!”

The group starts talking all at the same time just about the time when Judd and Grace show up — ever the gentleman, Judd is balancing both trays in his big hands. Carlos grins when he sees them, the very first couple out of their group of friends.

He wishes he could have something like that — a love so pure and transparent. Evidently, Carlos knows that Judd and Grace don't have a perfect relationship — the group has witnessed one too many arguments between them — but they always come out of them stronger. Carlos knows that they will be attending their wedding shortly after high school is done, even if they are all going to college.

Judd leans in to give Grace a quick peck, and the table erupts in catcalls and whistles, led by Paul. TK shakes his head and goes back to his sandwich, long fingers wrapping around it possessively.

Carlos tunes everyone else out, focusing on his friend and his plush lips closing around the bread. He gulps, trying to will away the uncomfortable feeling in his groin that makes his pants grow tighter. Those lips and those hands star in his wildest dreams — the ones that touch him and set him on fire every night —and Carlos doesn’t think he can survive the oblivious air surrounding TK Strand.

Carlos ducks his head in an attempt to hide the obvious blush that's creeping up his neck. Iris nudges him below the table, making him look up briefly and lock eyes with her; a short moment passes by while she smiles knowingly at him, teeth flashing white. Carlos shakes his head almost imperceptibly, trying to send her a message she can understand — that heʼs fine and that she can’t say a thing.

Ever since Iris and Michelle found out about him —sometime around their freshman year in high school —they have tried to set him up with different guys from all over town. They have never suggested anyone from school, fully aware that he doesn’t plan to be out until heʼs far away to college, and when he started to admit to himself that whatever he felt for his friend wasn't exactly just friendship.

Iris had arched an eyebrow at him upon finding out about his infatuation. Michelle had simply patted his shoulder. “Youʼll learn not to pine after straight guys, Reyes,” sheʼd told him mysteriously.

Carlos had dismissed those words, still not fully ready to admit to his feelings, and completely baffled that heʼs found solace in sharing his secret with people who accept and understand him.

Objectively, he knows that his group of friends would be supportive — they all closed ranks around Paul after he was outed as a trans man, no questions asked. But Carlos isn’t ready for them to know the other half of his secret.

He doesn’t know how TK would take it if he ever found out Carlos has a big crush on him that hasn't diminished with time.

Their friendship is on eggshells these days. Carlos canʼt pinpoint the exact moment when he lost his best friend of several years — the rest would argue that he hasnʼt lost TK, but his heart tells him otherwise — he's been mourning his friend for months now. He’s aware that it's partly his fault, since heʼs been withdrawing from everyone for months after his parentsʼ messy divorce.

He still misses the late nights at either TKʼs or his house, popcorn and movies queued on Netflix, curled around each other under a blanket on the coldest days of winter. He misses his motherʼs voice calling them for dinner, and Captain Strandʼs orders to go to bed early on the makeshift mattress on TKʼs bedroom floor.

But what Carlos misses the most is that real laugh that he hasnʼt heard coming from TKʼs throat in years.

TK is giving them one of his fake smiles — the one Carlos recognizes from the early days of the two stray Strands recently uprooted from New York. TK had been a shy kid with a heavy weight on his shoulders when his father all but dragged him down to Texas after winning a very difficult and very draining divorce trial. Or so Carlosʼ father had explained to him, lips quirked in disdain because God doesn’t approve of broken marriages.

Carlos wants to punch those words back into his father's mouth right now. “Hypocrite,” he mutters under his breath.

While he preached about perfect marriages, Carlosʼ father had been sneaking around with other women until he got one pregnant.

Carlos looks up in time to catch TK staring back at him, a silent question in his eyes. They hold each other’s gaze briefly before noise from the other side of the cafeteria catches their attention. Carlos follows TKʼs eyes lingering across the space until they land on Alex Macon, and TK frowns.

Carlos doesn’t understand the sudden hurt that flashes on TKʼs features, too fast for anyone to pick up on it — anyone who hasnʼt grown up getting acquainted to those impossibly green eyes and their bottomless well of emotions. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Alex’s sister dragged Paul through the mud last year and TK feels protective of his new best friend, but Carlos has the inkling that it's more than that.

Carlos looks down once again at his tray after he catches sight of Alex leaning in to touch Mitchell, from the basketball team. They have been awfully close these past days, ever since the first day of school. Officially, it’s Alex’s first relationship that's openly queer after coming out as bisexual in one of the Austin High Secrets blog posts. Maybe that's what brothers TK after all.

Perhaps TK supports his friend Paul because Paul is straight after all — a boy who likes girls, in the end. Perhaps TK has trouble reconciling the idea of gay people openly dating in front of him.

“What do you say, we go see Carlos’ practice after class?” Marjan suggests in the general direction of TK. Carlos can see him flinching back into focus, nodding shakily.

“That’s a great idea,” TK agrees. “Wasn’t Judd going to be there as well?”

Upon hearing his name, the taller boy spins around from talking to his girlfriend. “Be where? After class I have a dentist appointment, so practice for me, I’m afraid.”

“But I can go watch Carlos kick ass at practice,” Grace pipes in. “It’ll be much more fun than studying for whatever pop quiz Mr. Abernathy wants us to take tomorrow.”

“Just one week of school, and we’re already swamped up in work,” Mateo complains. “I’d rather enjoy the good weather while it lasts.”

Marjan snickers, inching closer to him. Carlos thinks that anyone should be blind not to pick up on whatever’s going on between these two. “That’s what we’re going to do later,” she explains. “Carlos’ soccer practice is in open air today.”

“Plus, we’ll get to see the cheerleaders and their own auditions,” Paul says, a little too cheerfully. Carlos pats his arm with his free hand. “Nothing like a good show to lift our spirits after a horrible day at school.”

They all agree. TK goes back to chewing on his sandwich, eyes never leaving the tray ever again until they’re all ready to get out of the cafeteria and come back to their classes — this year after lunch they always end up scattered in different classes, but it’s only a couple of hours before recess. Carlos follows Grace and Iris to their English class, since his own Chem class is only a couple of rooms over.

“Someday, Reyes,” Iris says mysteriously, stopping short of her classroom door. “Someday, you’ll grow the nerve to actually say something.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he hisses, nervously looking over his shoulder to Grace, who seems too engrossed in her phone to be paying attention. But he’s never at ease when Grace is around — she’s no Paul and doesn’t pick up on people’s emotions as far as their friend, but she can be a force of nature to be reckoned with. Carlos has seen Grace know exactly what was going on without even having to ask any question.

It’s kind of scary, if he’s being honest, that some people have the ability to read souls just like that.

“C’mon, Carlos,” Grace effectively joins the conversation. “Everyone knows you have the hots for TK.”

“Wha—Every—everyone?” he stammers. He’s so taken aback by her words that he almost drops his books to the ground. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think you know exactly what we’re talking about,” Iris points out. She’s playing with one of her long locks when Carlos gathers himself enough to actually look up.

“Did you tell her?” he hisses, pointing to Grace, who hasn’t stopped looking at her own phone screen, much to Carlos’ chagrin.

“Nobody has told me anything,” Grace explains, finally lifting her gaze from the phone. “But it’s evident, at least to me. I may have exaggerated when I said everyone, to be frank. I doubt anyone out of Iris, Michelle or myself knows.”

“Fantastic,” Carlos exclaims. “Fan—fucking—tastic. Now it’s just a matter of time that everyone knows, if it’s that evident.”

“I hope you're not going all wild on me,” Grace tells him, one long finger pointing at him. “It’s not evident,” she continues, “I am just that good at noticing things.”

“Youʼve spent way too long around Paul,” he grumbles.

“I take it you don’t want to do a Macon and come out of the closet through a post over at Austin High Secrets,” Grace says, ignoring his last words. “I’m not going to say anything, not even to Judd. Not that he would notice anyway, he’s kinda blind. But it’s going to blow up if you’re not careful, Reyes.”

Carlos nods. “I just—Iʼm still figuring everything out. And with my parents and the divorce and everything—” he trails off. It's not that he doesn’t want to be out; he knows he's not a freak, he knows it's something normal. But it still irks him to no end that he has to justify himself because his first choice is never a good girl with whom settle down and have a family.

“Your secret is safe with me,” Grace promises. “I take it you trust Iris not to say anything. You know you can trust me. I just don't want you to suffer, sweetheart. Lord knows youʼve done enough of that already.”

Carlos wants to hug her so badly that it physically pains him not to, but the bell rings and the girls enter their class before theyʼre called out for being late. He salutes them mockingly to hide his embarrassment, and rushes to his own class.

He’s only late by a few seconds, but it doesn’t really matter because the teacher enters the room right after him.

Last period is absolute torture for TK. He isn’t able to focus on anything that's not his own thoughts swirling in his mind, occupying everything.

He still doesn't understand whatʼs going on between Alex and himself, or between Alex and Mitchell. It should be evident, at least the last part — for everyone else, it’s crystal clear that Mitchell has stolen Alex’s heart and they're together. But TK would have known. He’s sure he would have known.

After all, heʼs been dating Alex for longer than anyone will ever know. He would have noticed if his boyfriend wasn't all that invested in their relationship.

It's true that they haven't talked that much this summer. After TK had to leave for New York — an imposition that his father hadn't relented about — and after his phone had been sequestered by his mother, TK hadn't really had any options there. Now, under the light of what Alex has been showing off, TK needs to talk to him.

In the week since school started, there’s never been a chance for them to be alone together long enough to speak. And, since their whole relationship has been secretive and under wraps due to TKʼs reticence to being outed, it’s not like he can grab his boyfriend and drag him to the eraser room. It would be weird.

It's weirder that Alex has been avoiding him for seven days, ignoring his messages and his calls and his attempts at mending something that he hadn’t thought was broken.

Sure, things got heated when TK lost control of what he was using and his father caught him on the verge of overdosing. Alex had blamed it on TK — for being reckless enough to allow his father to find out, and for snitching while at the hospital and saying that Alex had given him the drugs. They had started a terrible fight, but in the end they had made up before TK left for New York.

Or at least that's what heʼs believed so far.

Marjan and Mateo are waiting for him at his locker when he drags himself to the spot, tired and defeated. He could chalk it up to being stressed just after a few days of their last year before college — explain that he needs better grades if he wants to snatch one of the scholarships so his parents won't have to slave themselves to pay for his undergrad education — but his friends don't say anything when he approaches them. They only stare down at him as he kicks his locker open and shoves his books inside.

“Bad day?” is all Mateo says when TK closes the door with a little more force than necessary.

TK thinks about the way Alex has been staring at Mitchell the whole day, during the classes they all share — which are a few since they had planned to spend as much time together in class as possible — and he sighs. “You could say that.”

“Let's go watch some soccer,” Marjan suggests nudging him forward. “Seeing Carlos in action has always cheered you up.”

There’s an underlying accusation there, or at least that's what TK understands. He knows it's been a couple of rough years for them all; he knows that, after he started dating Alex, he stopped hanging out as much as he did before with Carlos. TK alone had created a schism in their group; he had withdrawn from everything he ever knew and loved.

Maybe the drugs had something to do with that.

Whatever it was, TK misses his best friend. Paul is amazing, but TK misses the ease with which he could talk to Carlos — no judgment, no questions. Just them both, together, being goofy. He’s found a true friendship as well in Paul Strickland, but he knows the others still mourn the separation their group experienced.

When they arrive at the field, they don’t expect it to be as crowded as they find it. TK marvels at the sheer amount of people packing the bleachers, happy that a sport that doesn’t get as much traction as basketball or football has managed to attract so many supporters, until he sees Alex sitting down by the front, fawning all over Mitchell. His whole clique is around them, occupying half the space.

“Didn’t he have anywhere else to be?” TK mumbles, low enough for no one to pick up on it, although Mateo shoots him a questioning glance. TK shrugs and follows them to the row where Grace and Iris have already saved them some seats. Paul shows up running from the other end of the field; TK remembers that the last class of Paul’s day always runs late because the teacher loves to keep talking even after the bell has rung.

“Here!” Iris calls him, waving until Paul sees them and rushes to their spot.

“Have I missed much?” Paul asks out of breath when he reaches them.

“Nope,” Grace laughs. “The cheerleaders haven’t even started warming up. You’re in for a show. I’ve seen Nancy Gillian in the lineup.”

They all snicker at Grace’s words. Before Paul started dating Josie — before it all went down the drain in powerful technicolor fireworks — he’d had a very obvious crush on Nancy Gillian, one year younger than them and always in the shadows of everything. He pouts.

“I don’t want anything to do with—”

“Hey, isn’t that Carlos’ father?” Marjan interrupts Paul’s diatribe about whatever he was about to complain. TK has probably heard it all, anyway.

He looks toward the spot where Marjan’s pointing with her index finger, following the movement until his eyes land on an older man — probably younger than TK’s own father Owen, but still — wearing dark chinos and a baby blue shirt. He would have recognized that man anywhere, since he practically grew up in his house.

Pedro Reyes is hardly unforgettable.

TK balls his hands into fists by his sides, the more protective part of his soul raging to be let loose. He’s been angry at Mr. Reyes for the longest time, ever since word caught the town about how he’d been having an affair with another woman for years, to the point of creating a secret family on the side. TK doesn’t think he’ll ever forgive Carlos’ father for wrecking the only happiness his friend had ever had — his family was Carlos’ shelter, and his father had destroyed it that one night when truth unfolded.

TK had been too engrossed in himself — in Alex, in the drugs — to actually realize that what Carlos had needed back then had been a hug and his presence telling him that everything would be alright. But TK had been so out of it that the mere thought of crossing the street and setting foot into Carlos’ yard had felt too big. And then Carlos’ mom had moved them out of the house and into a tiny apartment across town while his father had remained in the neighborhood. TK had never thought he could despise someone so much, but Pedro Reyes is one of the few people that TK can sincerely say that he loathes.

And he’s right now at Carlos’ practice, by the benches, trying to catch his son’s attention. Whenever he isn’t waving at Carlos, or calling Carlos’ name, he’s scrunching his nose at the scene Alex and Mitchell are creating — all hands and mouths and sappy smiles that turn TK’s stomach upside down.

“Excuse me,” he mumbles, moving forward followed closely by Iris. Grace waves them off, and he can hear Marjan swearing under his breath while Mateo and Paul remain silent. TK knows they have their own opinions about Carlos’ father, but Paul is way too prudent to speak out loud, and Mateo has been raised in the belief that his elders are always right, even when they aren’t.

“I’m going to kill that son of a bitch,” Iris promises as they all but run down the stairs on the bleachers, two steps at a time. They stop close to the benches, enough to let Carlos know that they’re there in case he needs them.

By the time they reach the benches, Carlos has already noticed his father and he’s stopped warming up on the sidelines. He tentatively approaches the older man — TK can see the resemblance in their chocolate eyes and the curls that circle wildly both their heads — and he’s already speaking to him in a low voice.

“What are you doing here?” Carlos says. His voice doesn’t quiver, but TK can tell he’s tense.

“I’ve come to see my son. You know, since you’re refusing to come visit with me and your baby brother.”

Carlos stiffens. TK would have punched Pedro Reyes at that moment, but Iris places a manicured hand on top of TK’s to prevent him from moving. This is a war that Carlos needs to fight alone.

“Maybe you should reflect on why I don’t want to go with you on the weekends or the holidays,” Carlos hisses. “Now, please, could you leave? I’m in the middle of soccer practice.”

“I’m not leaving,” his father tells him petulantly. “If you don’t want to come home with me, then it’s my right to come see you at practice. I’m your father after all.”

“Such a way to show it,” Carlos finally explodes. “You went behind mom’s back for years, you cheated on her, you had a son with another woman, and then you had the guts to throw her out of her own home!”

“Are those the lies she’s told you?” his father questions. “After everything, you still believe that—”

“Don’t,” Carlos cuts him. “I don’t want to see you. I don’t want you here. But I guess it’s a free country. I can’t prevent you from attending the practice, but don’t expect me to even interact with you.”

He turns around so he can join his teammates on the field, but Pedro Reyes still has some more things to say.

“That’s what you think now,” his father calls back at him. TK is ready to kill someone right now, and the only reason he isn’t attempting murder is because Iris is already holding him back. “But you’ll change your mind, son. You’ll soon be an adult, and you’ll understand why adults act the way they do sometimes.”

“I don’t care about what you think it’s adult behavior!” Carlos finally snaps, turning around. “You aren’t exactly the model I want to look up at!”

“So long as you don’t end up like them,” his father says, making a face as he watches Alex giggling at something Mitchell has said, “I think I’ll be fine. You can change your mind about your father, and once you know the whole truth, and not what that bitch you have for mother has told you, you’ll be keener to come visit your brother.”

“What’s wrong with them?” Carlos gives in. “And never, ever, talk about Mom that way. You’re the monster here!”

“No, son,” the older man sentences. “They are the monsters. That’s so antinatural, so against everything I have ever taught you. It’s a good thing that you’re an athlete. Everyone knows athletes aren’t inverted like these two.”

There’s a snarl in Pedro’s voice that breaks some dam inside TK. He feels himself deflate as a feeling of defeat floods through him. He can’t stop the thoughts from reaching every single corner of his soul — he can’t help the fear and despair rising, but he also kind of congratulates himself on never having come out to Carlos anyway.

What if Carlos believes what his father thinks as well? What if Carlos thinks TK — and the people like TK — aren’t just lost until they find their other half, but they’re some sort of monsters who don’t deserve to be happy?

TK would never survive that.

“TK, what’s wrong?” Iris asks when he sits down on the closest bench, his wobbly legs not allowing him to keep standing up.

“I’m fine,” he mutters. “Just—”

“Reyes!” Coach Leed bellows. “I don’t care who came to visit, I need you on the field right now!”

Carlos shakes his head at his father and starts walking away. TK is too focused on breathing normally again that he almost misses the moment Carlos turns around and says, with more venom in his voice than any of his friends has ever heard coming out of him, “Don’t ever come back to see me. You’re the antinatural one!” before he joins his teammates in the center.

TK blinks back tears, and when he’s able to stand up again with Iris’ help, Pedro Reyes is nowhere to be seen, but Alex and Mitchell — and their whole clique — are staring down at Carlos and whispering. TK knows they will only fodder the rumor mill later on, and he wishes he were braver, so he could stand up for Carlos.

As it is, he walks back to their place on the bleachers and explains that he’s been stressing so much these past days, that he’s most probably suffering from a bit of dehydration, and accepts the bottle of water that Grace offers to him, ignoring Marjan’s frown and Paul’s inquisitive stare. Instead, he fixes his gaze on the field, and allows his heart to get slowly back to normal.

#un secreto perdido al calor de tenerte #lire babbling

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welcometololaland · 11 months

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Binged Read "living at the centre of would...." tonight, and i am in tears, I just love love your writing so damn much Lola 🫶🏼 You grip on Characters and their Characterization is so strong. I have read every single of your Lone star fics till date. You are my Favorite author!! I have specially made a tumblr account to reach out to the beautiful writers of this fandom and appreciate them and let you'll know that you all matter so very much to us!!!

Can't wait to read what more beautiful things you put for us, i m specifically so intrested in ALTA ( just genuine excitement and want to share the Excitement , no pressure, please take your time,m very patient lmao)

Never Understood Grief so wonderfully and truthfully before!

Thank You <3

(ALTA SNIPPET BELOW CUT)

Thank you so much! The honeymoon fic was difficult for me to write (because I don't often write angst), but it was also incredibly cathartic. I think it helped me process a lot of my own feelings about season 4 episodes 17 and 18, and also made me think deeper about Carlos in particular and his state of mind in these episodes.

I feel honoured to know you have read so many of my stories! I hope they brought you joy <3 I think it's awesome you made a tumblr account to tell people that you like their work!

ALTA is finished, but it is in beta-phase. I'm not sure when it will be ready but I'm hoping to post ch 1 soon(ish). This fic has been so fiddly and difficult, I don't think I've EVER spent so much time nitpicking. I've re-written and re-worked the chapters so many times it's insane. Never write a mystery, guys. It's HARD lol. Here, have a snippet (it's unbeta-d, don't judge me).

Summer Break, June 2015

“Carlos,” TK sighs, sliding himself into the passenger seat of Carlos’ car, jiggling the ancient manual windows to wind them down, allowing fresh air in. Carlos knows he’s going to have to get a better car one day – he can’t keep driving around in something that has no AC in the middle of Texas – but he’s also a broke student and his father isn’t a movie star. Not that he’ll be reminding TK of that, lest he turn up to TK’s house one day and find himself presented with a brand new Range Rover.

Although, given recent events, he’s never going to be able to set foot in TK’s house again.

“Carlos,” TK repeats with a little huff, leaning back against the seat as Carlos backs out of Owen’s driveway. “Why are you so mad? It’s not like this is the first time this has happened—”

“TK,” Carlos exclaims, one hand tapping the steering wheel in exasperation. “Your dad walked in and we were—”

“My dad has walked in on us loads of times,” TK argues. “He has no sense of privacy, you know that.”

“Yes, but—”

“One time he caught me practically giving you a blowjob, remember?” TK interjects. “I think it was the first time you met him, actually—”

“TK!” Carlos practically cries. “How are you not more concerned about the fact that your dad walked in while you were riding me?”

TK shrugs. “I don’t know,” he replies, infuriatingly calm. “We’re adults and adults have sex, right? I don’t think anyone in the Strand household is under any illusions as to why the pool house was out of bounds for six months straight.”

Carlos has a sudden urge to take a random left hand turn and drive them into another state. He’s not sure he can bear to be in the same timezone as Owen Strand, knowing that he’s seen them in such a compromising position. On second thoughts, Carlos wishes he could drive to Antarctica.

“Seriously, baby,” TK says, holding his palm up on the centre console, begging for Carlos’ touch. “It’s going to be okay. I bet my dad won’t even say anything. I mean, he might make an awkward joke about it but trust me, he doesn’t care.”

Carlos blows out a breath. “I don’t know,” he replies with uncertainty. “I’m beginning to think we should move out.”

Out of his peripherals, he can see TK practically bounce in the passenger seat. “Some place other than your college dorm?” he asks. “Carlos, that would be—”

“I’m not serious,” Carlos interjects, then feels terrible about it when he looks across at TK’s face and sees it fall. “Wait, hang on, I didn’t mean—”

TK retracts his hand and brings it to his face, covering his mouth as he turns to look out of the passenger-side window.

“TK,” Carlos calls, sighing as he pulls over to the kerb and throws the car into park. “TK, look at me.”

TK turns back slowly, a sad frown etched into his features. “I get it,” he says, a little despondently. “I mean, I’d be terrible to live with. I know you think I’m spoiled and I don’t know how to do anything, and I do hate chores but I’d do them if it meant I got to live with you.”

“I don’t think any of those things,” Carlos says softly, reaching across the space between them to rest his palm on TK’s leg. “Sweetheart, I’d love nothing more than to live with you—”

“I do hate chores,” TK admits. “Come on, that part is true.”

“Okay,” Carlos concedes, allowing his lips to curl into a smile as he watches TK’s do the same. “If we’re being honest, you suck at chores. But I’m sure you could get good at them, with practice.”

“Maybe,” TK says, wrinkling his nose. “I hear you’re a pretty good teacher.”

“I am,” Carlos replies seriously, leaning halfway across the console to kiss the tip of TK’s nose and then his lips. “I want to live with you, TK,” he says. “I just can’t afford that right now. Plus, we’re young. Maybe it’s a good idea to wait until we finish college at least.”

“And give my dad more opportunities to walk in on us?” TK asks, arching an eyebrow. “Your funeral, Reyes.”

Carlos shrugs, trying to school his expression. “Oh no, that’s not happening,” he says smoothly. “We just can’t have sex at your place anymore.”

“What are you suggesting?” TK scoffs. “That we have sex in your dorm room? Because Darren is gonna have to get real cool with some stuff pretty quickly…”

Carlos shakes his head. “I was thinking more like abstinence.”

TK chokes. “Abst— No, Carlos. Abstinence does not work when your boyfriend looks like this.” He flourishes his hands in Carlos’ direction, motioning to the entire top half of his body.

“Was thinking we could wait until marriage,” Carlos teases, turning the ignition back on as TK squawks.

“Okay,” he says, “I guess we’re getting married tomorrow.”

“Not legal yet,” Carlos points out. “Guess we’ll have to wait a while.”

#ALTA #tarlos #tarlos fic #snippet #911 lone star #911 lone star fic #tk strand #carlos reyes #anon ask #answered

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