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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years

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Title: Convince Me To Go {Epilogue}

AU Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Mild Cursing

Words: 1.1k

Summary: When we run away, we’re usually running from something. This time you may have run toward it instead.

Note: Welp. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I hope you enjoy this.

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-Fifteen Months Later-

The day was a beauty. The forecaster said to expect sun, a gentle breeze, and clear blue skies. It was what you expected and so far it looked like it was what you were getting. You took a deep breath and ran your fingers through your natural curled hair as it fell around your shoulders. You could hear the birds chirping from the balcony of your room. It was peaceful and calm and all you felt was happiness.

“Ready to go?” Bree stood at the door with a smile on her face. you mirrored the smile and walked to her.

“Finally. Let’s get this show on the road.”

You walked with her toward the back where the soft sounds of a ballad was playing. As you approached your father smiled looking good in his suit.

“Looking good daddy.”

“You too, princess. Ready for the first day of the rest of your life?”

You smiled and nodded excitement bubbling to the surface. “So ready.” His smile spread wider.

“You picked good, princess. He deserves you.” you flared your nose and tried to keep your emotions in check.

Bree walked ahead and then you began your walk out the back to the top of the cascading stone stairs to look down and to your fifty guests standing at the lawn. Slowly you walked down the steps and to the aisle where Chris stood at the end of. When you locked eyes with him you saw his tears fall which prompted your tears.

“Let’s do this.”

You walked down the aisle and smiled at everyone you knew, everyone who needed to be there. The classic but beautiful floral arrangements were perfect as was the absence of any of the pomp overhead. All you wanted was the sun beaming down. The closer you got you saw your mother standing there watching you walk down the aisle. Her smile was pasted on as always. The last year was a tough one, it was a big learning curve. You had to learn who you were and establish new boundaries based on that. She struggled to realize you’d come into your own but after some training she relinquished control.

When you stopped Chris approached you with a huge smile. He came in and kissed your cheek then whispered to you.

“I can’t wait to make you my wife.” You smiled; he’d never placed a high emphasis on how you looked. Yes, he told you that you were beautiful but not overtly as if it was his favorite thing about you. he complimented other things. Your patience, your intelligence, your dedication, your stamina, your ability to think outside the box, your beauty was for once second fiddle to your other shining attributes.

“If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.” You and Chris looked out to your guests who all glared the two of you down.

“You two are the runaways so look at yourselves,” Bree blurted out.

The two of you laughed. She was right. The two of you had jilted to people before.

“We’re holding our peace,” Chris joked.

The ceremony was short, sweet and beautiful. It showcased everything you loved about each other from the chosen poems and the personalized vows.

“If you ever need me to fight off a mugger I’m you’re guy. If I ever need you to mace and taze someone I know who to call. I never imagined that I’d meet the love of my life the day I was supposed to get married to someone else. I never imagined I would fall in love with her in record time, I never knew you could blow up your life in seconds but put it back together in hours. Y/N, I love you, I love everything about you and I am so grateful that we met and you decided to love an asshole like me.”

Everyone around you laughed, except your mother.

“Chris, you saved my life three times in the span of three days, in three different ways. Everyone here knows I am the practical one. I keep your crazy in check. I didn’t take risks before I met you and since meeting you I can’t stop taking them. I fell in love with you as I was falling in love with me. You showed me how amazing love can be. Impractical, crazy, scary, but beautiful, perfect, honest, fulfilling. I would happily sit by your bedside every time you get shanked ready with butterscotch and some gin because I love you. Nothing else matters, but you and me.”

He smiled and nodded. You were so excited for the end of the ceremony when you were pronounced that you could hardly wait. Chris felt the same way, you could tell.

“With the power vested in me and the State of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

Before he got the words out Chris pulled you to him and crashed his lips to yours sealing your vows, sealing your love, sealing your promises to one another for the rest of your life.

The two of you danced the night away never straying far from the other. Neither of you worried about what the two of you had to do with your company or anything business-related. You knew your thriving Real Estate business would be there where you’d managed to merge his skill in architecture and contracting and your skill in real estate and decorating to create a very lucrative business. One that Fortnune500 foresaw as bringing in close to a million dollars by the end of the year.

“Are you happy, fancy face?”

Your smile spread across your face as it did every time you heard your nickname. He hadn’t changed it at all.

“Jubilant. Are you, white prince Evans?”

He snorted and shook his head. You only used this when you were mad at him. it always broke the tension.

“I have done nothing wrong. Don’t go waving around that name.”

“Fine, fine, prince charming. my prince charming, my valiant prince charming.”

“I’m over the moon.” He lowered his lips to yours and you softly kissed you. it spoke of the promise of the night ahead and all the years of your life. Pure bliss.

“Ready to get outta here?” He smiled on your ear as he heard your question.

“Convince me to go,” he replied. You smiled then whispered to him every dirty thing you planned on doing to him that night and every night of his life. After a minute or two, you were still going. He bent and threw you over his shoulder and began walking.

“I wasn’t finished.”

“Show me. All right peeps, the Evans’ are out!”

Your family and friends laughed and adoringly watched as he carried away his winning prize, a wife for life.

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***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!! ❤️❤️

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TagList:

@chaneajoyyy @firedolphin04 @sonjashuterbugjohnson @caramara3 @vannahvannahhh @academic-glowup @lorainnebabyy @patzammit @yourwonderbelle @pennywisesmistress @theblulife @kelbabyblue @bugngiz @disneysdarlingdiva @toniilaney @areubeingserved @thinkxlovexloud @cocothewriter @periodtcevans @southerngracela @bellaamor88 @mack-jay@queenbetter @zaddysqueen7 @ben-wyxtt @dangerouslovefanfic @alyxkbrl @heladoom @angrybirdcr @give-me-a-million-dollars-pls @twinx007 @a-dizzle777 @rynabarnesrogers

#convince me to go fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x black reader #chris evans au

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jaanwangji · 3 years

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Hello!!!! My day was fine till i started scrolling through louis' twitter to make an edit for 12dol and i became so emotional. it's just the way he talks to us, about us and how regularly he checks up on us and how constantly he thanks us tells us he's so grateful. I also cried a little when i saw the s*co tweet, ok that's a lie i cried alot!!!but hey they were happy tears so.....no regrets.

Sooo.... My life is just a series of embarrassing events to an extent i can't think of anything. So I'll tell you two things, one is slightly embarrassing (only slightly plzz don't think that's the most embarrassing moment it's just something at the top of my mind) and second a memory i think about and laugh(its cute i swear).

So when i was tenth and we just started trigonometry (it's hard whenyou start yk sm to remember) so i was sitting with two of my friends sitting on either side of me. Sir gave us a question we all started working. But both of my friends were being so annoying. One of them just kept asking me small questions and the other one was saying all the formulas out loud. In short annoying me I was having a hard time concentrating and i like maths so i get competitive. So i cery loudly told them to stfu!! And literally every one heard me. And sir looked at me laughed and said yeah you tell em. My tenth grade self foungld it really embarrassing believe me now I'm just shouting things in class all the time.

The second one was when i was really young. I was the youngest cousin and i was visiting my oldest cousin. So yk he treated me like really nicely. Always used to carry me around in his arms and stuff. So he had a dog a bitch might i say. She used to get soo jealous of the fact that I'm recieving more attention than her so she used to bark at me and stuff. But the funniest thing she used to do was sit really close to my parents. And my dad was some what scared of dogs so that used to be really funny. And little me had a hero syndrome. So i wanted to "save" my dad but i used to be scared of her too i mean i was like soo small she was bigger than me in size😂😂 I got over my fear of her when i was 11 😂😂

And I'm really curious about this poem stuff?!! What were you writing?? Like both of them😂😂 god this one got soo long maybe I'll add a fact later🙈~ ❄

DBDJDJDKKDKKDBDJDJJ who hasn't cried a river while thinking of louis? I sure have more times than I'm willing to admit jkkd its just he is everything lol can't even describe what exactly he means to me yk

bdkdkks i wish i had your teacher lol he sounds dopeee. i hate maths actually, that's the bane of my freaking existence like where tf would i need trigonometry in my future?! pls explain ew

omg i LOVE dogs i want one soooo bad but my mom hates pets and says they're too much work for my lazy ass djjdkd i plan on getting one when i move out for good but we'll see lmao EJKSKKKEKE i imagine that would seriously be very very hilarious oof dogs are amazing nfkddk

I can send u the poems later lol but the one i was writing was kindaaaaa abt sex fjdjkd well not really but it had that sexy undertone yk too many metaphors and what not but still very blatant if you know what to relate it too djdjdk idek why i was writing that i generally don't write about those kinda things but sometimes my mind just goes "boom you gotta write" and im like "but what" and it goes "you gotta" fbdjjbb (also I've no experience of sex lol djdjdk)

the one my teacher read was a sad one i think i wrote it when i was really down or something and it was frankly concerning just how much i wanted to end it all, i don't blame her for being worried about my health coz like that shit is concerning but i think it was more of me pouring out my feelings than yk writing about what i wanted to do but she didn't know obvio fjfjfk

ps: most of my poems are veryyy depressing lol i can't help it

okay do i need to share an embarrassing story now since you shared two? Xbdbndb

#secret santa #seriously don't think about being too embarrasing #i embarrass myself everyday 28 times #so we all good

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sambarvadai · 4 years

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#6: the curious art of crunchtime creativity (2/2): aha

posted on 14 nov 2019

exams happened yesterday, and also i wrote this blog post yesterday, but now it’s all gone and i’m rewriting it. c’est la vie! edit before posting: it is one week later and another exam has happened and now i have more material to write about. c’est la vie pt2!

so. there’s a second type of creativity – calling it creativity isn’t accurate; most would consider it to be going down the rabbit’s hole that is the internet. we’ve all done it before, somehow finding ourselves staring at something in horrified fascination with no clue as to how we ended up there. in my case – or at least, in this context, it is mostly subject-related, specifically to the subject on which i am about to write the exam. (future me: the exam is over) please note: this has only applied to tamil and chinese, the two languages i take (english doesn’t count. you can’t study for english), because those have scopes so wide that they might as well not exist at all. hence, it’s not me, it’s the subject. we move on.

chinese is a lovely, lovely subject ((please forget the fact that my exam is in two days and i’ve barely started studying) <– this exam is now over i hate it) and my love for it came from this book i found when i was starting out. it taught the story of each character by broke it down into radicals and connected these radicals into a coherent plot that told its meaning. that was a long sentence. so this made learning chinese, which is, primarily, a pictoral language, quite manageable.

a tangent here: simplified chinese is harder to understand pictorally as compared to traditional chinese, because in the name of simplification, many radicals have been bastardised to mean completely different things from what they were actually intended to be. for example, the character for listen (听, 聽), as you can see, has been grossly simplified from including the radicals for ear and heart to just including the radical for mouth. kinda sad, isn’t it

anyway back to story so i have amazing friends who kick my ass into studying and will absolutely scream at me for browsing taobao two days before the exam (which i did haha) and it’s great learning chinese in a chinese-speaking country because you have so many somewhat-native-chinese-speakers who will correct your chinese but still encourage you to strive on and not make (too much) fun of you. it’s lovely because my friends have similar pop culture exposure compared to me, so if i drop in a random korean reference or whatnot they get it. it’s really, really great and cool, especially when i want to write fanfic in chinese and they get it B)

speaking of fanfic, i recently discovered twosetviolin (why recently, you ask? i’ve been seeing their thumbnails in my recommended for ages but never clicked; sorry) and i was hooked. so naturally, i turned to fanfiction (idk if i actually ship them but the stories are cute). surprisingly, there was a large amount of chinese fanfiction about them, which led me to lofter (chinese tumblr)! and i learnt so much vocab from that and it was so so fun to read, because it was seeing familiar tropes in a slightly-less-familiar language. i do want to continue learning chinese, so hopefully this will prove to be a good gateway into the language.

the tamil section’s going to be shorter because it’s been a while since the exam, but anyway, i shall try my best.

tamil has been my pride and joy for the last four years, in no small part thanks to my peers and teacher who made me love the language and love myself for inheriting the language. i once regarded tamil as a burden and hated speaking it because of how i stumbled and had a funny accent. now, though, my accent is a lot better, and i speak it much more naturally. it’s still a work in progress, but i love the language so much more and that has translated directly into (or has affected) how i interact with my peers and family. i’m a lot more confident expressing myself in the language, and i like speaking it and making a connection to other people who have chosen the language.

because that’s what it is, isn’t it, you choose a language. you can choose to reject the language you were born with, or you can choose to cultivate it and respect it. you can choose to learn a language that was not yours to begin with, but has grown to become close to you in a different but equally inexplicable manner. you choose the language, and you give it the acknowledgement it rightly deserves.

anyway. the love for the language stayed largely within class, where our teacher showed us ancient tamil poems and translated them for us, showing us that themes of love, kindness, filial piety, and so many more have not changed one bit in the last 2000 years. recently, however, i found oldtamilpoetry.com, in which the blog-writer translates tamil poetry into bite-sized pieces. as i stayed up late reading the archives, i felt the language settling into my bones, draped over me as comfortingly as a childhood blanket. it was reassuring. calming. lovely.

this, i now realise, is just a really long love letter to my languages. these are my languages now, and i’ve made them my own by finding the beauty in them. that beauty was best discovered in the moments before exams, when pressure drives you to look for alternate ways to make learning bearable. this was when i discovered why i actually love the language – and love learning, really. yeah.

i don’t know where i was going with this but YES. tldr, during exam periods, i find how beautiful subjects – languages – are. it’s really cool, and i recommend you do it too. just go down a rabbit hole and find what makes you click. find that pull factor that makes you realise that yeah, this was worth it. this is probably kind of incoherent but hey. hopefully a bit of you resonated with this!

please watch out for part 3. idk when ill post it, but yeah! it’ll be a wrap-up to this academic year, or maybe just exams in particular. important! because i have quite a bit of reflection to do about that too. hope you enjoyed reading this haha thanks for reading so far !!!!!!!!!!! legitimately bless you owo (pls check out twosetviolin theyre amAzing) stay tuned for more !11!1!!

anbudan, noon xoxo

#exams #creativity #thoughts #creative process #words #word #languages #love language #love letter #mine #noonwords

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thatgreeengentlewoman · 4 years

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Wow oh wow! You were featured on that Tikki account?! You are really lucky! And you got s good review from her! Im a Tikki Troop and know she can be tough on people so when I saw what you got , I was like yes queen! I dont have a proper tumblr so I cant be featured sadly. But I was happy to see you being featured that’s so cool. Please write more fun poetry!

aw thank you so much! she’s so incredibly smart so i’m honoured that she featured my poem. you should totally make a proper tumblr if you ever do pls message me and let me know! i def will continue to write more fun poetry, and hopefully, it’ll get better. thank you so much for this message, it’s incredibly sweet and means a lot to me :)

edit: didn’t know this would post publicly, but just learnt that if the ask if anonymous u can only post ur answer. you learn something new everyday.

but if anyone is reading this i would 100% recommend that you check out tikkisaram’s blog, she is amazing at analysing poetry and her blog is really helpful if u write poetry or if you’re just interested in that kinda stuff. 10/10 would recommend.

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hopuma · 5 years

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TAGGED BY: no one TAGGING: anyone who wants to do it!

NAME: manu or ella STAR SIGN: pisces HEIGHT: 5′6 ??? i think. i’m too lazy to check rn. can everyone on tumblr pls start using the metric system and make my life easier? thanks

PUT YOUR SPOTIFY ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST 6 SONGS THAT POPPED UP?

like that by bea miller

bolso nada by francisco el hombre, && linker e os caramelows

tap water drinking by lewis del mar

throw shade by cruisr

grave digger by matt maeson

maria da vila matilde by elza soares

EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU? nope. sadly. i was named after a julio iglesias song tho. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR GUITAR? lol today i have a lot of energy sometimes WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH? rn? no one. i am sadly over my temporary celebrity crush on david harbour. it was good while it lasted. check back in a week and i’ll probably be crushing on someone else WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE; SOUND YOU LOVE? i hate nails tapping against any surface. i literally just cringed thinking about it oh my god. specially wood sldjflasj no pls. sounds i love? rain, laughter, waves crashing, wind whistling, woods at night. the sound of circadas and crickets anywhere. birds singing really early in the morning. the little happy sigh people do sometimes. ukulele being played well. really low notes in a piano. i love lots of sounds. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? i have seen one but no i don’t so that is a confusing thing to wrap your head around HOW ABOUT ALIENS? yep just bc of, like, probability.... DO YOU DRIVE? nope. IF SO, HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED? not while i was driving no WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? the ballad of black tom. it is iconic. go read it. DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF GASOLINE? yes WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW? oof casablanca again WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER HAD? sprained my wrist again bc i fell out of bed. a true genius, ladies and gentleman. (edit: lmao i read this wrong i thought it was the latest injury. i have had worst injuries but i am leaving this here to prove the whole genius point lasjflas lol) DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW? not really DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE YOU WRONG?no i’m more of the whole you could pour soup in my lap and I'll probably apologize to you john mulaney vibe. IN A RELATIONSHIP? nope.

#about the mun #ooc

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searchforthescars · 7 years

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Litany - 1/?

Hey it’s ya girl back at it again with another Memori modern AU because idk Little Beast wasn’t enough for me?

Endless thanks to @bombshellsandbluebells for being willing to continue the editing extravaganza with me even though you’d think Little Beast would have scared her away HAH

Anyway, this story deals with implied rape (bc Ontari sucks) as well as sexual, physical and emotional abuse. Pls be careful when reading if this sort of thing triggers you. I’m happy to provide more details if you need them.

Go nuts and let me know what you think!

Every morning the maple leaves.

Every morning another chapter where the hero shifts

from one foot to the other. Every morning the same big

and little words all spelling out desire, all spelling out:

You will be alone always and then you will die.

Then

“He’s not answering his phone,” Raven says, thumping her bag down on the floor. Bellamy turns from his computer, bracing his hands on the kitchen counter. “I’m worried.”

“I’ll go over there.” Bellamy’s already got his keys in his hand, his phone in his pocket. “I’ll text Miller and Bryan on my way.”

Raven’s brows pinch together. “It’s her. I know it is.”

Bellamy shakes his head. “I know. We need to get him out of there.”

“Hard to do when she cuts him off from everyone. It’s textbook, Bell!”

A sigh. “I know.”

Now

Unsurprisingly, the house is already awake when Murphy drags himself out of bed. [Read on Ao3]

Still half-asleep, he stumbles downstairs, lured by the smell of waffles. Bellamy and Octavia are already in the kitchen, along with Raven and Miller. Bacon sizzles on the stove, popping whenever the younger Blake jabs it with a fork.

“Morning, sunshine,” Raven says jokingly, giving Murphy a side hug. He lets her, though he flinches as soon as she pulls away. His skin crawls from her hands on him, and he hates it - hates it so much he wants to throw up and die, or at the very least, go back to bed.

He takes a piece of bacon from the pan. His fingers ache from the heat. Miller watches him carefully, but Murphy does nothing, says nothing. He eats the meat without tasting it, feeling the delicate skin on his tongue burn.

“Wow, your mouth is, like, indestructible or something,” Octavia comments. “Bellamy would be reaching for an ice cube right about now.”

“You’re one to talk,” Bellamy grumbles. “You couldn’t even handle the pico de gallo Raven made last week.”

“It was spicy!” Octavia defends. “Who in their right mind makes something that hot?”

Murphy sits at the breakfast bar and tunes them out, staring out into space and letting his eyes unfocus, then refocus. They eventually land on the fridge calendar, and he stares at today’s date, where Emori arrives is written in bright red pen.

“Raven,” he calls. “When’s the new tenant moving in?”

“She should be here soon,” Raven replies. “And the least you can do is call her our roommate.”

Murphy rolls his eyes. “Whatever.”

It’s as if their conversation summons her. There’s a knock at the door, and Murphy goes to get it because it’s either that or watch Bellamy destroy the waffle he’s trying to remove from the iron. It’s painful, honestly.

The girl in front of him is small, a little shorter than him, with long, dark hair, wide eyes and full lips parted in surprise. When she speaks, he hears a bit of an accent. “I- Which one are you?”

“What?”

“I only know your names.” She tilts her head. “Are you John?”

There’s something about his name on her lips that makes him shiver. “Yep,” he says, popping the ‘p,’ purposefully stiffening his body language. He looks past her. A van is trundling down the road, away from the house.

Raven chooses this moment to appear behind him.

“You must be Emori,” she says, sticking her hand out and shoving Murphy aside in the same motion. “I’m Raven. We talked on the phone.”

“Nice to meet you,” she says, shaking her hand. Her tone is gentle, but she doesn’t smile. Murphy sees lines around her eyes, but the set of her brow tells him something different.

She is not happy.

The ratty old duffle bag in her hand and the backpack on her shoulders are the only personal belongings she has. Murphy takes the bag from her and leads her upstairs, to the room next to his - the room that used to be Luna’s.

“I don’t know what Raven told you,” he says, dropping the bag on the bed. “This used to be Luna’s room. You’ll meet her at some point - she’s always over here. She moved to graduate housing this semester.”

“Graduate housing? What’s she studying?” Emori looks out the window. They’re on the second floor, so there’s not much of a view.

“Psychology.” He smirks. “She’s not the best person to have around in a house full of fucked-up people.”

Emori doesn’t say anything, just looks at him. Her eyes are brown, he realizes, and full of questions and something darker - something that makes him ache when he looks at her.

You will be alone always , he tells himself, remembering the poem he fell asleep reading last night, the one that almost made him cry, and then you will die.

He had his chance, and it was spent over and over, in a bed and a house that no one wanted, that no one loved.

“This is all you have?” he asks, motioning to her bags, then shoving his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t even see anyone stop to say goodbye.”

Her shoulders hunch forward, her eyes shutter, and he wonders what exactly he said to frighten her. “It’s all I need.”

“Do you want...help?” He thinks better of the question the moment it leaves his mouth. The door is open, but everyone else is downstairs, and the music is loud - too loud - and no one will hear him.

She laughs. The sound makes him jump at first, and then he freezes. Oh , he thinks, letting the sound roll over him. It’s warm and low, tumbling from her throat over her lips. “I think I can manage. But thanks, John.”

He leaves, goes next door to his room, and flops down on the bed. He hears her padding around, her boots thumping against the worn wood. He examines the burns on his fingertips from the bacon. They’ll be gone by tomorrow.

“What do you think of her?” Raven asks Murphy, pointing up the stairs and settling next to him on the couch, resting her bad leg against the footstool kicked haphazardly to the side.

Murphy shrugs. “Seems like she’ll be quiet. Which is good, because I’m not about to share a wall with someone who’s up all night.”

“Yeah,” Raven snorts. “Because I totally picked her to room with us because of your personal comfort and safety.”

“Shut up, Reyes,” he laughs, shoving her gently. She laughs and reaches for the remote, turning on the TV and leaning her head on Murphy’s shoulder.

“I’m glad we’re friends again,” she murmurs. “I’m glad you’re here instead of there.”

He feels himself tense, then relax when she doesn’t say anything more. He hears a creak on the stairs and looks up sharply, sighing when he sees Emori looking down at them.

“You can come down,” he says to her. She looks to him, then to Raven, and descends the stairs like she’s ready to fight, right fist clenched, jaw set. She sits on the arm of the couch, right near Murphy’s arm, and looks down at them both.

“Girlfriend?” she asks.

Murphy shakes his head. Raven laughs. “No,” she says. “That would be like oil and water. We’re just close friends.”

She looks to Murphy. Murphy says nothing, just shifts uncomfortably. He can feel her presence; she’s close - too close - and he almost wants to shy away from her. He forces himself to breathe normally and clenches his hands into fists. Raven doesn’t notice.

“You can sit with us,” he finally says, motioning to the spot near Raven. Raven scoots over so Emori can sit comfortably. He breathes a sigh of relief.

“What are you majoring in, again?” Raven asks her.

“Social work,” she says quietly, toughly, with a firm chin, as if she’s expecting an argument. “I’ve got an associates, but I’ve got to get the bachelors now.”

“Oh, so you’re a junior?” Raven grins. “Me too. I’m in engineering, though, so kinda different. Murphy’s a sophomore, but he’s undeclared.”

Emori looks at him over Raven’s head. “You’ve got time,” she tells him, as if she thinks he’d be worried about that sort of thing. In reality, he can’t be bothered at all.

They turn their attention back to the TV. Raven falls asleep after a while, her head still on Murphy’s shoulder. When he looks up, Emori is looking back at him.

“Settled in okay?” he asks, voice low, heart in his throat. What is he doing? Why is he talking to her?

She nods. “I guess.”

“Glad to have your own room? I used to share with Bellamy - it sucked.”

She shrugs again. Her left hand is wrapped in some kind of cloth, and she picks at it. Murphy wonders why it’s covered up, why it’s so stained, why she feels the need to shrink into the couch. “I shared a room for a while. It’s not so bad.”

Murphy snorts. “I’d hate it. People going through my shit, talking, snoring .” He rolls his eyes. “Bellamy’s snoring was the worst.”

“Well, they had bed checks and curfews, so…” she doesn’t meet his eyes. He frowns in confusion. “Besides, it’s not like you’re allowed to have anything personal in prison.”

She looks up, and their eyes lock. Her defiant chin says what’re you going to do about it? Her eyes plead for acceptance.

Murphy doesn’t know what to say, but he knows he should say something. “We’ve all got our shit,” he says. It’s fucking pathetic, but better than nothing. “Are you reformed or whatever?”

She smiles. It looks like relief, like a sharp knife. “Hell no.”

He likes her a lot more after that.

In rare (read: nearly-impossible) form, the entire house eats dinner together, crowded around the dining room table that is really only meant to seat four. Raven’s idea was for Emori to get to know them all a little better. So far, it hasn’t backfired horribly, much to Murphy’s relief.

Murphy cooks: a pot roast with garlic butter, biscuits and green beans. Emori’s eyes grow wide when she sees the amount of food on the table. He thinks she even mutters holy shit under her breath. She waits to eat until everyone else is halfway done, staring at her full plate and fisting her hands in her shirt.

“Okay, so,” Raven announces once the initial feeding frenzy is over. “Lets throw it back to freshman orientation and go around and say our names and majors and shit.”

“Jasper Jordan, freshman,” Jasper gives Emori a wave. “I room with Monty here,” he points his thumb at his best friend, “and I’m majoring in chemistry.”

“Monty Green, freshman, computer science.”

“Octavia Blake, freshman, criminal justice.” She gestures to Lexa, who’s sitting across from her. “Lexa’s the same, only she’s a junior.”

Lexa finishes chewing her bite of food, then waves at Emori. “What she said.”

“And you already know me and Murphy,” Raven finishes, leaning back and taking a satisfied sip of her beer.

Emori gives a small, general wave, then takes a tiny bite of food. “This is good,” she tells Murphy. “Thank you.”

He nods in reply, then smiles ever-so-slightly when he looks up to see her smiling back at him.

She helps him with the dishes after dinner, loading the dishwasher one-handed and humming along to the music playing from the living room. Octavia and Lexa are printing out their syllabi for tomorrow’s classes, Raven is trying to fix something that could either be a dvd player or a weird-looking roomba, and Monty and Jasper have escaped somewhere upstairs to play video games.

It’s quiet, almost peaceful, and it makes Murphy anxious.

There was a time when he would get in trouble for even looking too long at Emori. But that time has passed, so he looks freely, cataloguing the slope of her nose, the flecks of amber in her eyes, the clumsiness with which she uses her left hand. Her body is buried under layers of clothing, and he sees faint scars under her eye and along her collarbone. Prison mementoes? Or something worse?

She looks up at him, mouth twisted wryly, eyes sparkling, and he realizes she said something, but he can't remember what.

There's a moment of panic, of confusion. What would the consequences be for not listening? But she grins, a flash of white teeth, and says, “Were you looking or listening?”

“You caught me,” he says drily, face the perfect picture of snark and sarcasm.

She chuckles. The sound is warm, like her laugh from before. He feels his stomach do a slow roll. “I asked if you had class tomorrow,” she repeats nonchalantly, like he's not an idiot for failing to pay attention.

He pictures his schedule, then shakes his head. “No.”

“I do.” She shuts the dishwasher and pushes the button to make it start. “I’m going to stay on campus and walk around after, though. Just to see where everything is.”

I'll go with you, he wants to say, but his throat clamps down around the words. She takes her right hand, brushes it against the kitchen towel, then pulls her hair over one shoulder. It's like a muddy waterfall, but prettier.

Murphy shakes his head at himself, then climbs the stairs to his room.

He's woken in the middle of the night by someone shaking his shoulder.

“Get the fuck away from me!” he cries, scrambling backward, colliding against the wall. He will say no this time, he will, he's so tired-

It's Emori. Hair wild, eyes unfocused, confused. Her lips are pulled into a worried line. “You were screaming,” she says, and her voice is rough, ungodly.

“I'm sorry.”

She looks like she wants to touch him. “What happened?”

Murphy shrugs. “The same shit.”

He remembers the dream. A rope, the knife, creaking of floorboards, a broken phone, Raven’s frantic calls.

He can't go back to sleep.

There's a park across the street, and he goes there. He sits on the swings, and Emori follows, like a ghost, because he didn't explicitly tell her to get lost. There’s something in her that welcomes the darkness in him. She takes it in like it’s nothing more than a cup of tea after a long day, like it’s as easy as picking the lock on his bedroom door.

Twice, she inhales, opens her mouth as if to speak. She doesn’t, and he's grateful. Breathing the night air feels like crying.

“I only woke you up because it sounded like you'd be better off here than in your dream,” she murmurs when the sun breaks through the darkness. How long have they been sitting there? An hour? Two? Three?

“Thank you,” he says, and then the guilt rolls over him.

You will be alone always, and then you will die.

He studies her after she leans her head against the swing’s chain and closes her eyes. Button nose, firm chin, right hand clenched into a fist, left hand-

Oh.

It’s long, covered in dead skin and bloody patches and scars, fingers welded together like pincers. It looks like a tree branch. It looks strong. It looks like her. He feels a strange affection for it, for the little nub on the side of her hand near her pinky, for the rippling muscles at her wrist.

“It’s hideous,” she says without opening her eyes, like she knows what he was thinking, like she’s determined to say the opposite.

He reaches for it, and she lets him lift it up, lips parting in a shaky sigh as he runs his fingers over it. He hates rosebud lips, but not hers. “I wouldn’t cover it up,” he says, and he’s so honest he thinks his head might explode. “I think it’s pretty badass.”

Several things happen at once. The sky gets lighter, and so do her shoulders. She laughs, smiles, eyes crinkling at the edges, turning to liquid amber. “Liar,” she says, but she’s still laughing.

He can make someone happy.

“It’s not all you are,” he tells her, echoing Raven, echoing Luna, echoing the shrink he went to see all of once before he found better absolution at the bottom of a bottle.

“It’s all they see,” she replies, eyelids fluttering. The faint arch of a tattoo curls over her cheek, her nose, her brow. Was that always there? He can’t remember. He lives in a fever dream, one foot in the present, the other in a dusty bedroom.

“It’s not all I see,” he says. He sees life, a girl without scars, so soft and hard at the same time. He wants to ask her about prison, about life before and life after. He wants to know if she still wakes up in chains.

She opens her eyes, looks up at him. He imagines she’s leaning against his shoulder. He pretends her warmth is spreading through him, filling him. “I guess you’d better keep an eye on me then.”

He smirks at that, and the fever dream feeling disappears. It’s him and her, and she did have that tattoo last night, only he hadn’t noticed. The birds are chirping, and he sees Octavia’s light on across the street.

He’s so tired. His shoulders slump. He leans his head against the chain again and closes his eyes.

“Let’s go,” she says, standing, boots scuffing the dirt. He doesn’t let go of her hand until they walk through the door.

“You left it unlocked,” Raven says, not looking at her, looking at him.

Murphy ignores her and climbs the stairs. He collapses into bed, shoes on, and waits for Emori to leave.

“I locked that door,” he remembers aloud. “How did you-”

She smirks with a quirk of her brow. “I picked the lock.”

She leaves, locks the door behind her. He throws his arm over his eyes and breathes deeply. It’s a long time before he sleeps.

#bombshellsandbluebells #lindseysfandoms #maskingtapepoetree #dailymemori #memorifics #litany fic #memori fanfic #yup here I am i need to chill

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dogmotifs · 7 years

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500 celebration + gifts

heyyy so i just hit 500+ followers and i’m eternally grateful !! i kno it doesn’t seem like all that much but it means a lot to me and so i wanna do something for you guys as a thank you !!

rules:

reblog this post

you don’t have to but it’d be super sweet if you followed me

pick no more than two of the following

shoot me an ask telling me which one you picked

blacklist #chloe hits 500 if you don’t wanna see these

what you get:

mini playlists:

send me a 🎶 and a title or genre of music

i’ll make you a playlist based on what you asked for

then i’ll post it on tumblr and spotify

check out my other playlists to see format

archive moodboards:

send me a 🥀 and specifics of what you want (theme, color scheme, or

certain character/show)

i’ll look thru your archive and make a moodboard

you must must rb some aes, ph etc.

blogrates:

send me a 🌷

format undercut

compliments:

send ✨ me a

i’ll look thru your blog and i’ll give you a compliment

poetry requests:

send me a 🍑 and prompt or topic for a poem

topics could be words, characters, ships, songs, ect.

these will be somewhat short

name edits:

send me a🌙 and your name

i will make an edit based one the meaning

some of these might take longer than others pls be patient and if you have any questions or worries please send me an ask !!

˗ˏˋblograte format undercut ˎˊ˗

url: 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 icon: 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 theme: 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 mobile: 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 posts: 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 overall: 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 following: no but i love you / +f / yep yes of course

#mine #chloe hits 500 #blog stuff #chloe talks #thank you all so so so much ilysm !!!#don't let this flop

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morkofday · 3 years

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check-in tag

i was tagged by @wuxien ♥ thank you for thinking of me ^^ it was so nice to read yours and your love for wwx made me smile a lot~

1. Why did you choose your url?

ok so i have explained the origin of my url a couple of times but! let’s hear it again! so while i was in high school, i was obsessed with j.r. ward’s black dagger brotherhood series and brother vishous was my favorite out of all the vampires of the brotherhood. the royalty theme also stuck with me and i liked “viscount” a lot. i made this nickname for one of my random nintendo ds games originally and then it followed me around lol (my original url on tumblr was in finnish. i have tried to leave that one behind haha)

2. Any side-blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them.

nope. tho i sometimes consider making one? but i feel like that would put too much pressure on me so i just gather everything here like the trash collector i am

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

i made my account in 2013 so a while

4. Do you have a queue tag?

no. i just post stuff whenever i am around :’D i keep thinking about making one and actually using my queue but,,, i am lazy. also this blog is a mess

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

in 2013 i was living and breathing manga/anime. tumblr was a place for all the nice fanart and edits and i just went around looking at those. i can’t remember when i actually started posting anything for this blog bc for a while i just lurked here looking at things but it happened. then i slowly started expanding from there as i moved on from anime to different tv series and movies and kpop and now dramas

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

current one (and the previous one too) is bc this man lives in my brain rent free. it’s closing in on one year since i started watching reboot and i still cannot move on from liu sang and how much i love his character and the whole world of dmbj. this fandom really is a pit and i am shoveling dirt to get deeper each day

7. Why did you choose your header?

this too applies to the previous one bc i associate liu sang with forests, especially foggy ones. i looooove the aesthetic of foggy hills and this feeling of mystery but also freedom it gives me. tho i’ve been thinking about making a new layout again bc the current green color reminds me of that foam we use for plastic flowers to stick them up in their pots lol

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

my wangxian edit with lines from richard siken’s poem you are jeff x it currently has almost 1.5k notes and i still have zero idea why it’s this edit specifically. i think i’ve made better ones but i am fond and very thankful of the love

9. How many mutuals do you have?

so many these days ;; i am so happy with all of you! everybody is so amazing and sweet and loving ♥

10. How many followers do you have?

way past 800 now and that’s nuts

11. How many people do you follow?

i just unfollowed a bunch of inactive blogs and try to find new ones to follow instead (if you have any recs pls do tell?) :’D but currently it’s somewhere around 260 i think

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

uuuhhhh what is considered a shit post exactly

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

too often. i feel like am around all the time lol. i switch between tumblr and twt usually but tumblr has been my fave social media ever since i properly started using it. tho when i first got into kpop in 2017-2018 i was very inactive here and almost deleted my account but am happy i didn’t bc the untamed dragged me back here again :’D

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

nope, i don’t do drama. also am just chilling around, idk who would bother to fight me hhhhh and for what even???

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

if it’s for a cause then yeah, sure. tho am bad at reblogging anyway so,,, consider me just a moron

16. Do you like tag games?

yes i adore them ;; i remember being so jealous at times when i was just chilling alone on tumblr, rolling around in my own corner, when i saw ppl doing tag games and never had any mutuals to do those with. and now i have a ton! of amazing ppl!! tagging me into things!!! it’s so much fun ♥

17. Do you like ask games?

sometimes? i don’t think am someone who really receives any asks but there are some amazing ppl who humor me every time ♥ also me and @i-am-just-a-kiddo sometimes play these “ask games” by ourselves on google docs :’D we just copy the whole list of questions and answer those and talk about our answers. we’ve done some writer questions especially bc we like to talk about writing and our projects and difficulties.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

there are a couple of ppl on our network especially who intimidate me a bit bc of this O.O also some of our dmbj crew haha (especially looking at you sierra @jockvillagersonly ♥)

19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?

hmm several. tho i easily develop all these friend crushes on ppl. odds are am in love with everybody at least a little bit! but what is friendship on tumblr dot com if you are not confessing your undying love to your mutual at least once a meme post

20. tags?

ah sure! am going to tag: @susuwatari-kompeito @jazthespazz @manhasetardis @jaecomments @humanlighthouse @cross-d-a @xiejie-liubo @foxofninetales @a-force-dyad-in-space @englishbunnyrocks and @justpostsyeet ♥ also the two ppl already mentioned among my answer can consider doing this if they want 👀 no pressure tho! have a nice day everyone ^^

#tag game #thank you so much!!#this was fun :')#also hello!!#i love your whole aesthetic #so much??#your theme is so inspiring #maybe i will be inspired by it haha #i hope you like reading this

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