#chickens. eggs. you know.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

oh right, technically i sell t-shirts

i forgot about that

#holidays are coming up and it would make a terrible gift #that's the main selling point #anyways these exist and can be exchanged for legal tender #the cost is the listed price + the emotional expense of knowing that i am judging u #bc i am. i am judging u #why would u want this. why would u exchange currency for this #there are so many other things you could exchnage currency for instead #a grocery store shrimp platter for instance #with the nauseatingly red cocktail sauce that is SO much better than a t shirt any time #hmm chicken picatta at a local Italian Eatery perchance? i am. a big fan of anything picatta #oh oh i know! 3.6 POUNDS OF FRESH OKRA #FOR THE COST OF THIS FRIVOLOUS T SHIRT U COULD INSTEAD PURCHASE 3.6 POUNDS OF FRESH DELICIOUS OKRA #and then --hold on i have a recipe--and then what u do is #so it is basically sacrilege to suggest this but what u do is u skip the cornmeal entirely #my southern ancestors are shaking a wooden spoon at me right now but LISTEN. u skip. the gotdang. cornmeal #instead: wash chop and soak (for 10 min) the okra in a mixture of 1 egg to tblsp water #then coat in flour #THATS IT JUST FLOUR #No cornmeal. i am betraying my heritage rn but I'm RIGHT #coat in flour sprinkle liberally in S&P and FRY that suck in veg oil high heat #until crispy & brown & u hear your arteries clenching in apprehension #so. so yeah #that's what u should do instead of buying this shirt go fry the shit out of some okra #(but buy local and young & tender if u can bc the grocery store is full of old-and-therefore-super-stiff specimens #pro tip (aka grandma tip): if u can't chop okra smoothly with your normal cutting knife then it's too old and tough. #...i mean u probably CAN still fry the shit out of it I've certainly done that before it's just much less delicious #ANYWAY. anyway ANYWAY. shirt. okra. farmers market. that reminds me of a post i made back when we first started selling these dang shorts #shirts. shorts shorts. oh shit i should make a crop top option. #i. i don't Know How to make a crop top option #HUH . . . i need to lie down now and contemplate the constant and irreconcilable limitations of the human experience good night

[kedreeva]

i love when people on facebook groups are like "fowl will kick bad eggs out of the nest" any time someone else says an egg escaped a nest. Like, no they do not know that. We have watched birds sit on rocks, and lightbulbs, and golf balls, and ball pit balls. The really broody ones will sit on sterile eggs until they die unless you break them of their brood. You can swap a broody's dud eggs for fertile ones and they don't care or notice. Stores literally sell wooden and ceramic eggs to trick them because they can't tell the difference. People make posts about bad eggs exploding under their hens. They have no psychic ability to see the interior of the eggs. their brains are like the size of a lima bean and when they're broody they're so hormone addled they aren't even using it. there's 1 thought in their entire body and it's "hatch eggy"

this is the face of a bird that knows nothing, but in particular has no idea if an egg is bad

she would fight me for free if I touched that ball pit ball she trying to hatch. birds are stupid. if yours kicks an egg out just warm it back up and give it back

#chickens #peafowl #aurora #i'm so tired #this is right up there with people who think birds can count #they don't know how long 21 days is #they don't know what 21 is or what a day is #if they go broody and you give them chicks 3 days later #they are not surprised #they are not like oh wow that was 18 days early!! #no they're just like I DID IT I HATCHED EGGY #they don't even care what comes out of the egg

[thatsbelievable]

#Did You Know? #facts #trivia #eggs #chickens #chicken eggs #unreality

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

trying to persuade my mom to get ducks instead of chickens

1. bigger more nutritious eggs

2. better fertilizers

3. less scary and vengeful

#- HK #if any of y’all have experience with both ducks and chickens feel free to validate or rebut me #bc I love the idea of having eggs but not the idea of having chickens #my grandmother’s always had them and they stress me out so bad #you never know when one of them will try to EAT THE OTHERS #chicken beaks are sharp and pointy. for ripping flesh. duck bills just go quack quack #mobile #x

[creaturefeaster]

THAT is a reallybig egg.. how does that work..

it works by coming out of a guy shaped like this

#i have bigger hands too so for scale that egg is probably a little bigger than you might think #next to it was a jumbo (store bought) chicken egg #goose eggs are very large wouldn't you know it

[lecliss]

I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it #like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago #so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows #but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown #AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS #1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject #and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS #or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's #AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way #okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there. #also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that #well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there #ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE #also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines #IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT #AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS #i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen. #its VITAL that that did not happen!!!! #its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan #and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died #SO. logically it must have been like #fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?) #and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist? #like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote? #that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro #god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke. #NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW #in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw) #does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab???? #oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute

[ainawgsd]

Nine long weeks until we pick up our chicks.

Pictures from the Meyer Hatchery website

#chickens #backyard chickens #cookies and cream #blue laced red wyandotte #saphire jewel #rhode island red #cream legbar #olive egger #olive egger represented by eggs #because theres no way to predict how she'll look #its a cross between a dark egg laying breed and a blue egg laying breed #hoping for a cream legbar x cuckoo marans #meyers blue egg layers are about 5 varieties of ameraucana and 3 varieties of legbar #their dark brown layers include *barnevelders*penedesca*welsummers*and 5 varieties of marans #they specify on the website that you cant specify which of their several breeding programs you get #so who knows what we'll get

[slickricklj]

Resident Evil 4 Remake: The Mercenaries - Jack Krauser Mayhem Mode Victory Pose

#Resident Evil #Jack Krauser #Resident Evil 4 Remake #reviledit #residenteviledit #re4redit #videogameedit #gamingedit #re4 remake #re4re #I forgot to do it with Krauser in Mayhem mode when I played last time so here is his animation #I don't know all of the specifics but saw some asking how to trigger these I can tell you that you can trigger them even without getting a #150 combo streak I believe it might have something to do with the amount of melee knife and headshot kiIls maybe time and/or a high combo #I usually always kill the chicken and get its egg for the bonus score/heal item but haven't tested to see if that is required #100 kills/streak should get the bonus time rate up to 1.5 #the time might need to be over a certain threshold. I've tried without getting all time orbs and had them trigger in under 7 mins. #with that in mind take advantage of melee headshot knife kills and mayhem mode to trigger boosts to time/bonus time rate and w/it ur combo #will grow naturally. Dunno how much score factors in or if the combo has to hit above a threshold but either way That should help you out

[skycowboys]

Jufly prompt #27 - Nest 

Both shortwing and broadwing mares prepare raised nests on which they incubate their eggs. They often do so deep in dense forests for both safety and for food within easy reach. A shortwing will lay but one egg. Broadwings lay clutches of 5 or so.

--

Discord | Patreon | Jufly 2022 Prompts    

#jufly #2022 #day late sorry #shortwing #nest #egg #you know how chickens peck when you try to take eggs? #yeah imagine that #but 1500 lbs #sketch #art #pegasus

[redladydeath]

I wonder if names have a particular power in Hell and that's why most everyone goes by nicknames/aliases. Maybe it's not just a matter of personal preference and only the sinners who have nothing to fear continue to use their real names.

#what do alastor carmilla rosie and valentino all have in common? audacity i guess #redlady speaks #hazbin hotel #the use of nicknames is probably more of a dissociation thing #like you're starting a brand new life in a new body in a place that encourages you to be your worst self #might as well completely disconnect from your human life in order to avoid constant cognitive dissonance #but i would like it if there's also an element of supernatural power there #names are nowhere near as powerful as contracts #but they do lend those who know them a certain level of control #however it's kind of a chicken-and-egg situation #as keeping your name secret is what gives it power #hazbin posting

[musubiki]

ok im done reblogging old art. i went through the archive for the first time in a while to dig up the injured/sick lime photos and fell down the old art rabbit hole

#had a bunch of old ideas i forgot about... #mochi chickens ;w; #it would be very sad and hilarious if right after they got the chickens lime made chicken for dinner and was like #(we had them for eggs?! i thought we had them to like....................cook.) #and mochi wont speak to him for a week #mochi: WHERE IS MY CHICKEN?! #lime: ......................(sweating).... #i dont think he would do this but very funny if he did #YOU KNOW HOW EMOTIONAL SHE CAN BE WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!!!!!!!

[simplepotatofarmer]

i truly wanted to write today but i'm exhausted. i had to shovel a lot of snow from around the run and then i spent like. four solid hours just being sad about watson. <3 <3 but! i'm really excited for the prospect of hatching cluck and brittney m. crockpot eggs this spring! :D

#depending on how many eggs i collect i'll probably let my friends here name 'em again <3 <3 that was fun #i'm HOPING to introduce harlow and felony to kleenex as well #and i think maybe creature? she really wants babies so like. #anyway!! i might have second gen loyal flock babies!! #i won't be keeping them but it'll be nice #i know a couple people already that expressed interest since cluck is such a pretty hen #and my chickens have amazing temperaments #i'm rambling because i got excited about chickens!! i just love them so much!! oh it's gonna be so cool #to show y'all my chickens' babies !!! <3 <3 <3 i love you all!!! #anyway good night #loyal talks about stuff and things

[skywitchmaja]

everyone is always so bewildered when i say i don’t like pasta salad, is it really that bewildering? i’m taking a poll. please tag your opinion on the following: pasta salad, chicken salad, tuna salad, egg salad, macaroni salad.

#food #pasta salad is overrated why would i want cold pasta? i don’t eat chicken salad #tuna salad & egg salad criminally underrated they get so much undue hate if ur worried abt ur breath just have a mint! #macaroni salad even worse than pasta salad bc it’s cold noodles with mayo (im yes ik egg salad & tuna salad have mayo but look. #the mayo is mixed in for consistency it’s fine. noodles are solid there’s nothing to mix with it’s a no for me!) #idk if this will take off or whatever i just need to know if im the only pasta salad hater on planet earth #thank you & much love! #bonus: ham salad is something i know about in theory but have never experienced it sounds abhorrent tbh

[ghostcrows]

its not like im the only lonely person in the world. and usually im fine being alone. until im not. due to being some kind of social pack animal or something. annoying. but im not the only one. but the thing about loneliness is that it is isolating. lol. the one thing about the isolation is that its lonely

#and when im around people its a whole new set of stressors #i need to be alone often #but i need to feel like it matters if im in peoples lives #and....i need to...be able to really believe it #it really is like a horrible symptom of mental illness to be unable to feel loved and wanted #or a horrible symptom of trauma i guess. whatever came first #chicken vs egg #and its like...i dont know...i just dont feel...idk #maybe it makes you take that love for granted. which is a shame #its like running power through a frayed cable #it gets through...but its not strong enough

[feral-reverie]

where my fellow chickenkin babes at? bawk brrrp? I wanna floof my feathers and snuggle up on a roost with a flock. that'd be so badass and wholesome.

#otherkin #chickenkin #birdkin #therian #hell o void #this is serious btw #i also have a chicken #i had two i rescued but the one passed a couple winters ago and i just have my single birb #she's the best honestly and i love her #her name is honey #she lays olive eggs 👀 and if you know you know but i have no fucking idea what breeds she is from #chickens #chicken #aviankin #avian therian

[mother-rhoyne]

There's so much talk of what's required to hatch a dragon egg and why some don't (no fire? no blood magic? no Valyrian blood pure enough? No X-gene-based aptitude?)

How funny would it be if dragon eggs didn't hatch just because they're. You know. Not fecundated in the first place

#you know like chicken eggs when there's no rooster around #surprised bitch your dragon has a period! Crack that fucker over a pan! #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls