nsfw confession below the cut !! MINORS DNI !!
okay i just got my soul snatched 😀 just hooked up with my old guy bsf/first ever body for the first time in like 5 years…let’s call him J! for context i am a 4’9 mixed emo bitch & he’s a 6’2 yt boy with hella tats….that man took my innocence and first introduced me into toxic relationships lmao !! but no actually…he really ruined me…had me crying into my pillow and then humping it minutes later bc he had me conditioned to think of his dick every time i cried since he’d have me sobbing on his dick any chance he got 😭
after i finally let him take my virginity i was ruined bro…every time we hung out i had to get his dick someway. he had me obsessed with him and his dick and that’s exactly how he wanted it, too. no matter how much we fought or got on each other’s nerves we just kept coming back because no one else could fuck like us. he ignited my size kink before i even knew wtf that was…i remember the first time he ever fingered me and i was so scared because his fingers were so big and he just kept telling me he’d make ‘em fit while playing my clit threw my panties…and god after we fell off i just never had another guy ever made me cum again 😭 only girls and myself since…
well we recently got back in touch and we’ve been hanging and chilling since he got out of jail (LMAO OOPS) !! well bitch he took me out since this mfering morning!! he bought me a fat ass breakfast, took me shopping, took me to get coffee and pastries from my face cafe, took me to the speedway, got me to try funnel cake for the first time, and after a day full of fun he took me to his house and proceeded to fuck the absolute shit out of me….
okay let’s break this down bc i’m a whore !! when he took me shopping he picked out this like light pink satin dress that fits me SO GOOD…it also has a slit up my left leg & makes my tits look AMAZING…well i ended up changing after he bought it for me and keeping it on the rest of the day…and he just kept sneaking glances at me the whole day and i was blushing so hard jfc it’s embarrassing tbh.
well he ended up staring into my eyes while he rolled and i just super flustered and i started blushing and looking away and he was like “no no no..i spoil you all day and got you sitting pretty on my couch while i roll a blunt to smoke you out…the least you could do is let me look at you while i do.” and i just wanted to mount him. like fully just yank his pants off and ride his dick into the sunset 😩
so i looked back in his eyes and i know he could tell i was already going stupid for him from the dumb ass smirk he gave me…well while we were smoking let’s just say i get bold when high…and today was my first day smoking in two weeks so j was pretty geeked by hit like 4 😭 i ended up in his lap with him smoking the blunt and guiding my hips while i grinded on him…bro he made sure i kept getting hits in and the weed was just hitting and i was so sensitive and god J always gets so dirty when he’s high bc he doesn’t have a filter…and he just ended up having to put the blunt out bc i was just begging him to fuck me like at that point i was soaking thru to his pants 😭
j finally got his dick out and i was just so needy i lined him up and just started pushing down…his dick is literally the biggest i’ve ever taken and riding him is just a whole different world of full. so be grabbed my hips real quick and he was like “careful baby don’t wanna hurt yourself, huh? or do you like it when i get you a little hurt, yeaaah i know you like it when i treat you a little rough, don’t you baby?” and i was just moaning out yesyesyes love it when you hurt me a little baby love it so much !
and after he finally got me adjusted to his big ass dick he just started fucking me on him like a rag doll…i thought he was gonna let me have some control but i should’ve known better lmao…i think i just forgot he’s so strong so when he started slamming my body up and down on top of his cock like that i was just floating dude…i’m usually not that loud in the bedroom but he had me screaming !! 😭
and i went to go take the dress off but he fucking growled at me dude…held my hands behind my back with one of his while he choked me with his other one and just started fucking up into me so hard, but slow..he was staring me in the eyes with these fucking crazy eyes like he was gonna kill me or smth and he was like “don’t you dare take this dress off, not when you look so pretty wearing what i got you. yeah baby, say you look pretty. tell daddy how pretty you look while i’m deep in your fucking princess pussy, come on. say it. say it or you’re not coming, not on this dick, not at all. now, fucking. say. it.” and when i tell you my mouth started blabbing! i was not about to miss the opportunity to come, especially on his heavenly cock!
mm i look so pretty daddy, so pretty in the dress you got me! thank you for giving me your big dick,- fuck, you’re so deep please baby fuck me hard please needacumsobad!
and with that he flipped us over and literally POUNDED me until i was squiring all over him and he just kept going kept fucking using me like his little rag doll….and i let him…and even though it’s only been a few hours since this happened im still probably gonna meet up with him in 15 minutes to fuck again, bc i’m simply weak. he makes my toes curl and idc if he ends bad i’m having fun and getting my pussy absolute obliterated !!
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TW: mentions of death, suicide
truly obsessed over eden ayn. mostly the theme of death as an escape despite fearing death, yet being tied down by duties. in seeking deliverance, he became the very thing he hated (also seen in godheim where he sacrificed himself and 100k others to save mc.. coincidence?)
also, i think his letter to mc has a half-truth, half-lie. yes, he kept her around to essentially become his successor — but keeping her close also meant ensuring her safety, whether it'd be out of obligation (to find someone who is capable of bringing forth change in eden) or an instinct to protect her. he later realized that staying with him would only hurt her, and let her go. that's beautiful until you realize he was literally on a suicidal mission and turning her against him would lessen her pain of loss.
death is a constant in his life. he was the only one to survive the fire. his companions in the order died to save him. it's no wonder he fears death when every loss was as mind-numbing as the last, but it really makes you think: how desperate was he to turn to death as a solution?
anyway! i mentioned this before, but i really enjoy how his route dabbled with themes such as suicide and trauma. it's my favorite route so far, and i can't wait to see what else netease has planned. keep in mind that this might contain some discrepancies since i haven't read his route in a good while, and some observations are based on my own interpretations.
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