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remywrites5 · 4 years

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Regulus sat on the sofa, where he fiddled with his hair nervously, and shifted uncomfortably in the dress his mum had put him in. He hated that he was forced to keep his hair so long. Sirius had been growing his hair out since he was fifteen, ever since Reg finally told him the truth, that Regulus identified as a man. “Look, Reg,” Sirius had said, once his hair was past his shoulders. “Boys can have long hair too. So don’t feel bad that mum won’t let you cut it!”

They had poured over the many Astronomy books in the library to find Regulus a different name – a boy’s name. After a bit of back and forth between the two brothers, they had eventually agreed on Regulus Black.

Regulus had had a rough go of it at Hogwarts – being misgendered, people using his dead name, and having to sleep in the girls’ dormitories. The only time he had been happy was on the Slytherin Quidditch team, because everyone wore the same uniforms. But now he was out of Hogwarts and had hoped he could finally live his life the way he wanted. Those small glimpses of hope had been dashed once Sirius ran away from home. Sirius was disinherited and burned off the family tapestry. Regulus was now responsible for producing a Black family heir, since he was not eligible to inherit.

Since graduating from Hogwarts, Regulus’ life had been a parade of men from pureblood families. Walburga was searching for someone worthy. Regulus had lost count of how many men had come by, looking for an arranged marriage that benefited them. Some of them were just looking for the status that marrying a Black would bring them. Others were interested in the money. Regulus had taken a page out of his brother’s book, and had causes enough trouble that they all ran away.

Walburga had stopped giving Regulus any insight into who would be coming to the door. Perhaps she had figured out that if Regulus had knowledge of the suitor, he could figure out a way to scare them off. Most of the men coming by were people Reg knew from school, which meant he knew their weak spots. After all, Regulus was a Slytherin at the end of the day, and he would use every advantage he had if it meant he didn’t have to marry.

The door to the parlor opened and Regulus stood up. He smoothed out the skirt of the black satin dress his mother had forced him to wear and prepared himself for the worst. He was a little caught off guard when James Potter of all people walked in. His mother considered the Potters to be blood traitors, which meant she must have been getting desperate to find someone pureblood still left.

“James –“ Regulus said, feeling himself blush.

“Hi Reg,” James responded, giving a little wave.

Regulus was so shocked to hear one of these stupid suitors call him by his name. It was almost enough to make him cry in relief. “What are you doing here?”

James shuffled awkwardly on his feet and scratched the back of his neck. “Could we maybe sit down?”

Regulus crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s not like it’s a secret.”

James made a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat. “I knew this was going to be bloody awkward. Look, I’m probably the last person you want to get saddled with after everything that happened with Sirius, but your mum invited me out, and Sirius wanted me to come see how you are.”

“Oh,” Reg said, rubbing his arm self-consciously. “Well, I’m fine, you can tell Sirius I’m fine.”

James took a tentative step forward. “Are you sure, Reg?”

“I’m sure,” Regulus snapped at him. “You don’t want to be here anyway, so just go,”

“I didn’t say that,” James countered defensively. “I said you don’t want me here. I know you don’t like me all that much since Sirius came to live with me.”

“I never disliked you,” Regulus confessed quietly. “I disliked the situation, but I always understood why Sirius had to get out.”

“So…” James took another step towards Regulus. “You don’t hate me then?”

Regulus shook his head. “No, I don’t,” he said out loud in case James needed it verbalized to believe it.

James sighed in relief and smiled at Reg. “I’m glad to hear it. I was a little worried you were going to hex me on sight.”

Regulus smirked and sat back down on the couch. He crossed his legs primly and then patted the spot next to him. James eagerly hurried over to sit down beside him. Regulus tried not to find it endearing and failed miserably. “Here’s the thing, I don’t want to get married and I certainly don’t want to have a child.”

“Okay…” James said, his brow furrowing. “Then why are you going along with all of this then?”

“I don’t exactly have a choice,” Regulus said through gritted teeth, his hands curling into fists by his sides. “The Black family needs an heir and we both know Sirius isn’t an option anymore. As far as pureblood wizards go, you’re about the best I’m going to get. Besides, I want someone who is going to accept me as a man. I know I might not be what you were looking for –“

“Actually –“ James interrupted, scratching his chin. “Sirius informed me I’m something called Pansexual…so, you know, I’m fine with you being a bloke.”

Regulus blinked a few times in surprise. He honestly had not been expecting that at all and was completely baffled. He had always thought James Potter was straight, after all, he had spent most of his time at Hogwarts chasing after Lily Evans.

“So wait, you’re actually considering this?” Regulus asked, shaking his head slightly in disblief. “You’d marry me?”

James shrugged. “If you’ll have me.”

“You’re not just doing this as a favor to my brother, right?” Reg asked, eyeing James suspiciously. After knowing James for so long, it was difficult not to imagine he had some kind of ulterior motive for all of this.

James grinned. “I love Sirius like a brother, but even I’m not that altruistic that I would marry a bloke just to make him happy.”

Regulus was satisfied with that answer. He couldn’t believe that he was actually considering marry James Potter. “You must have something you want out of all of this,” he said, chewing his bottom lip. “This is a lot to give up.”

“I don’t see it that way,” James said, slowly reaching over and taking Reg’s hand in his, giving Reg enough time to pull away if he wanted. “I mean, you’re very pretty. Handsome? No, blokes can be pretty. You’re pretty. Beautiful, actually. I – fuck – you know you’re gorgeous. I don’t have to tell you that.”

Regulus felt himself blushing horridly. He couldn’t believe one compliment like that – and a fumbled attempt at one no less – was enough to get him flustered. “So you just want to marry someone pretty then?”

James laughed but it was a bit strained. “I think you’re more than just a pretty face, Reg.”

Regulus turned his face away to hide his deeper blush. What was wrong with him today? “Shut up, James.”

“What do you say, Reg?” James asked, giving Regulus’ hand a squeeze. “Do you want to marry me?”

Regulus turned and eyed James up and down for any sign that he was being disingenuous. Instead all he saw was the stupidly earnest look on James’ face as he waited for a response.

“Yes.”

***

Regulus felt like he had been waiting for the other shoe to drop ever since he’d agreed to James’ proposal. After they got married, Regulus and James had gotten a flat together in London, and being away from his parents meant Regulus could finally breathe. He donated all his dresses and skirts to charity, so that he never had to see them again. James didn’t say a word when Regulus cut his hair, picking a fashionable undercut, the front still falling into his grey eyes.

Regulus still felt like they were on the precipice of something, though. James never asked for anything, and that simple fact put Regulus on edge. He wasn’t used to someone not having any expectations for him. For the most part, James just let Regulus be, and since they weren’t sleeping in the same bed, they were almost more like flatmates than a married couple. It made Regulus uneasy, since he still didn’t know what James was getting out of their arrangement.

It started with Regulus stealing James’ shirts and hoodies. James was fairly muscular from his obsession with Quidditch, so when Regulus wore James’ clothes, he was kind of swimming in them. They were so cozy that Regulus couldn’t help wanting to wear them. Being wrapped up in James’ clothes kind of made Regulus yearn for the man himself.

James was relaxing on the couch, studying for the Auror exam he was taking later that month. He glanced up when Reg entered the room and his hazel eyes immediately went soft behind his glasses. He took in the sight of Regulus wearing his Gryffindor t-shirt and smiled. Regulus chewed his bottom lip for a moment and then walked over to the couch. James watched him for a minute and then scooted over in an invitation. Regulus dropped into James’ arms and they tangled themselves in each other.

“James?”

“Yeah, Reg?”

“Am I enough for you?”

James frowned for a moment and Regulus immediately buried his face away against James’ neck. He was nervous that he had upset his husband. “Why would you ask me that?”

“Because you’ve given me a home, and you’ve let me be myself,” Regulus said, his voice muffled against James’ skin. “I don’t know what I do for you.”

James chuckled, rubbing his hand over Reg’s back. “Do you want to do something for me?”

“Well I am your husband,” Regulus groused, wrapping his arms around James and hugging him tightly.

James slid his hand down, brushing his finger along Reg’s jawline, before tilting his chin up. James ducked his head and kissed Regulus tenderly on the lips. Regulus gasped slightly, but the kiss was already done before he got the sound out. “There,” James said, shifting around so that he could comfortably hold his book, his other arm still around Reg. “That’s all I wanted.”

Regulus’ jaw was still dropped. “That can’t possibly be enough for you,” he reasoned.

James put his book down in order to focus his attention on Reg. “Fine, I’ll do it again then,” he said with a soft sigh. He captured Reg’s lips and proceeded to kiss him breathless. Regulus clung to James, letting his mouth be invaded by James’ talented tongue, whimpering slightly against his husband’s’ lips.

“James –“ Regulus said, breaking the kiss. “I want you to be honest with me. A few kisses? That’s really all you want?”

James grinned and ran his fingers through Reg’s hair. “You want me to be honest, huh?”

“Yes.”

“I want you to wear my clothes all the time, because it does things to me to see you in them, and I’m a bad, possessive husband, who wants to see my husband in my t-shirts. I also want to kiss you pretty much all the time. Finally, I want you to fall in love with me, but that one I’m willing to wait on.”

Regulus hid his face away again because the things James said were simply too overwhelming. “So that’s all I have to do?” Regulus asked in astonishment.

“That’s all,” James confirmed, pressing a kiss to the top of Regulus’ head.

Regulus huffed indignantly. It all sounded so simple, but that couldn’t be all James wanted. Regulus knew that his mother had constantly been bombarding James with owls since their wedding night six months ago. A barrage of letters and howlers had come asking when they were going to get pregnant and produce and heir. Walburga probably would have had conniptions if she knew James and Regulus weren’t even sleeping in the same bed. But after their little cuddle session on the couch, Reg was thinking he might have to reevaluate his stance on that. Being held by James was actually very nice. “May I tell you what I want?”

Regulus felt James nod, since Reg still had his face buried away. “Of course,” James said softly. “Anything you want, Reg.”

Regulus pulled back, so that he could see James’ face, and took a deep breath. “I want you to fall in love with me too.”

“Too late.”

Regulus sputtered for a moment. “Y-you’re not –“

“I’m not?” James challenged, raising an eyebrow. His eyes got that same softness to them as he smiled before leaning in to kiss Regulus again. “I’m pretty sure I am.”

“Only pretty sure?” Regulus murmured against James’ lips, managing to tease him, even as his heart was fluttering away in his chest.

James chuckled, pressing their foreheads together, so Reg had no choice but to stare into those hazel eyes he’d become enamored by.

“I’m sure.”

#Jegulus #I write things #happy pride month everyone #fluff #trans Regulus #Regulus Black #James Potter #james potter x regulus black #arranged marriage au #I just want nice things for Regulus okay?#trans character

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mrneighbourlove · 4 years

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Evil’s Bane: Ch 7. Entering the Tower

Darkness was all around them. Along with a petrifying smell. They couldn't hear any sounds, not even in their own heads. It was as if time had stopped to entrap them in a pocket of hell. As long as this feeling of isolation and disgust lasted, their release was just as quick. The jaws of the serpent spat out the contents it had swallowed, quickly retreating back into the water from which it came. Leere's vision was incredibly blurred, and she gasped for air as she felt the earth beneath her. It was hard on her left, yet soft on her right. A decomposed body perhaps? Finally, she remembered to speak. "B-Bonegrinder? Anyone there?"

"Leere!" Black exclaimed. "Thank the Mother Goddess! You've been knocked silly for a good while. And I can't move." He was currently trapped underneath one of Bonegrinder's massive coils. "He took the brunt of the landing and he's out cold. Think you can pull me out from underneath him?"

Leere picked herself up, grabbing Bonegrinder by his coil. With a deep breath, she dug her feet, clenched her muscles, and pulled. "Fat. Loath."

"... that's not going to work." Black managed to wriggle free his staff that was attached to his body strap. He rolled it over to Leere. "Use this as a lever underneath his coil. I'll help you push down to get my legs free. Tell me when you're ready."

"Ok." Leere grabbed his staff, ready to pry Bonegrinder off. "Ready? One three. One. Two. Three!"

Black gritted his teeth and managed to move his legs free from under his master. Luckily, nothing was broken, just bruised. A Wraith's body was trapped in a state of living and decay, so trying to heal a wound was a major problem. Wobbly on his feet, he then asked, "Are you all right?"

"I am." Leere looked around, seeing someone lift themselves from the ground. There was fog around them, but with Leere's vision getting better, she made out his outline. "Bi-Hanzo?" The man was holding his head, a little groggy from the landing. "Indeed. I think I see Kenshi over there. If he's alive I'm going to wake him up."

"I would summon some fire, but it smells like methane in here." Black coughed once at the smell. "So I am not going to risk that. Though, I can provide some light." The Wraith took off his head wrap that covered most of his face and head. One reason he wore it was because his hair floated in every direction and... he was actually a grey-blue from head to toe. Glowing. "This is a pain when you try to sneak up on someone."

Leere was surprised to be sure. Her small shock turned into a smile quickly. "I bet. You know, for someone between life and death, you're still a rather handsome man." She looked around to see Bi-Hanzo getting Kenshi on his feet. "Good. We're all alive. Do you think Bonegrinder can be woken up easily?"

"I will..." Black looked a little puzzled at her comment. "Take that as a compliment." He then glanced at his master. No wonder he was out cold. Evidently, he hit head first, snapping one horn completely off and cracking the other. "Give me a moment to see."

"Take your time." Kenshi was rubbing his head. Man lost his sword in the attack. "Where are we?" Bi-Hanzo patted him on the shoulder. "Stay here with them. I'll look around."

"Bonegrinder. Bonegrinder!" Black shook the Anagari lightly, not wanting to jar him further, but the situation was urgent. The huge snake did not move. The Wraith frowned and sighed. "I think he rattled his skull. It's going to take him a bit to heal. We should wait here. We do not know what this creature is and our surroundings."

Bi-Hano ran back just over the small hillside. "All of you. Come with me now, you need to see this."

Leere looked to Black and nodded. Walking with Bi-Hanzo, the moment they came out of the fog, they were stopped in their tracks at the sight. In front of them was the biggest castle they had ever seen. No, it'd be disingenuous to call it simply a castle. It was a massive city, with sophisticated architecture that linked everything together. The designs were incredibly Gothic by nature, with the very sky as red as blood in the air. Black clouds rolled over, and the air was dry to breath in. They didn't need to see eyes on them to know that they were being watched by at least something. The most impressive, or haunting piece of architecture depending how one viewed it, was a titanic tower. It kept spiraling up and up and up, far above the clouds themselves. It had etching in its stone that were large and deliberate as well. The entire city could be described as gothic.

"... I'm beginning to believe we should have left when Bonegrinder insisted we did." Black said very dryly as he gave Leere an annoyed glance. "Because that does not look very inviting."

"No. I agree with you." Bi-Hanzo let his clenched hands go. "This is center of all of the evil in Malus. Inferos. The serpent didn't need to kill us. It just wanted to bring us here..."

"... EXACTLY why we should have left." Black groaned aloud and then pulled Leere along back to Bonegrinder. "There's no way in hell that I'm leaving him and he entrusted the princess in my care. So, we will both wait here and I suggest you two do the same."

Leere was about to say something, when a shadow flew over them. Glancing to the city, she saw the monster from her dream perch itself on a tree. It was hard to make out in the shadows, but it was defiantly it. "You!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" As Leere tried to get up to follow after the shadow, Black snatched her wrist and yanked her backwards. "You can 'you!' it later, you can't go after whatever that was blindly!"

"That's what we came here to deal with! That's what threatened my family and Hyrule!" Leere tugged away, tightening the collar on her trench coat. "Killing monsters is what I do."

The two other Mortuus watched as Leere pulled away from Black and started walking ahead. Bi-Hanzo decided to take the lead for Kenshi. "I have no idea if we can return. But perhaps we can find the missing villagers here."

"Like my daughter." With hope in his heart, Kenshi ran after Leere.

Before running with the other two Bi-Hanzo looked to Black one more time. "You should join us. Before one of those monsters comes here."

"It's not a monster, Leere! Even if that... that..." Black swore under his breath. "Abomination is simply a host, it is much more powerful than you, than me, and even those two lunkheads combined! We cannot hope to defeat it unless we have Bonegrinder with it. And defeat... is a very strong word. Please, if you won't listen to Bonegrinder, then listen to me." He implored her. "We don't know the extent of what we're dealing with. Don't rush in without leaping and leave your family without a mom."

Leere stopped in her tracks, for only a moment. "I've stopped god like beings before. I know the risks." With that, she ran into the city perimeter. Bi-Hanzo and Kenshi quickly followed behind her.

As Black stewed with his thoughts on the matter, he heard a familiar galloping approach from behind. "Black? Is that you?"

While Black had agreed to keep an eye on the princess, there was no way he was going to leave Bonegrinder vulnerable and alone. The snake would probably bite his head off, not literally, but lecture him nine circles to hell when he woke up and found the princess gone. Though, the Wraith was shocked to see the Lynel. "Hades!!!" Black was relieved. "You're alive! We were worried for you!"

"I worried for you. It was a miracle I stayed alive so long. And your scent suddenly traveled so far north, I could barely keep up. Where is the Sage of Shadow?"

Hades looked down to Bonegrinder, parting the hair out of his eyes. He didn't look good. "What happened to you..."

"The all-wise sage decided to go on a wild goose chase after I warned her not to do so." The Wraith grumbled to the Lynel. "That woman doesn't listen." When he inquired of Bonegrinder, the Wraith frowned. "I think in the scuffle of this serpent inhaling us, he hit his head. I'm guessing a skull fracture since usually something like this wouldn't knock him out. It's just taking him a little to heal."

Hades looked into the city, shuddering. "Go find her. I'll stay here with Bonegrinder and get him awake. It's important that the sage stays alive long enough to not be killed by some mindless beast."

Black felt conflicted. "Are you sure? Two guardians are better than one."

"I'm ten times the guardian you are." Hades gave the Wraith a light grin. "Go. I'll use my magic to try and jumpstart his awakening. We'll be able to track you, no matter how deep you go into that city."

"Just because you're bigger, doesn't necessarily mean better." Black patted Hades' haunches. "I'm glad you're all right, friend. Please be safe while watching over Bonegrinder."

“I will.” Hades watched Black race off to chase after Leere. Placing a hand on Bonegrinders head, he channeled some magic and waited for him to awaken.

Leere was finding new ways to be surprised. Going through a large city block, she saw windy staircases that raced around towers, spiders traveling on rope sized webs, and water traveling upwards from a pond into a building. “Keep an eye out for anything.”

Black had hurried after the princess, but decided to lurk in the darkness. It was safer than way. Not to mention, in case Leere suddenly had an idea to run away from him again, she could not pin point where he was. So for now, he kept hidden, watching.

The Sage pointed the way for their target destination. “There. That’s our best option.” As they opened the door to the city gates, a deep stench swept through the area. On the other side was a mountain of corpses piled up. A half a dozen hooded Mortuus were gathering bodies when they saw the new comers. It was hard for the group to hide their presence with how creaky the city gates were. The other Mortuus paused, unsure in the present moment on how to act against the newcomers. That was when one pointed, letting out a horrific low-pitched howl. Leere could only make out the intense rage in their black and red eyes glowing slightly in the dimly lit area.

Some of the local Mortuus took control of a few of the corpses to fight Leere and her party. Another started to bled from her eye sockets, their body tearing itself apart in a transformation. In the city of Inferos, Mortuus who walked the streets were open to the unspoken rule of kill or be killed at any time.

Both Bi-Hanzo and Leere felt they couldn’t take control of the nearby bodies or destroy them at a will. So they resorted to other means. Leere took her scythe, cutting down zombified corpses that staggered their way towards her. The warrior of balance made his way to kill the casters directly. With no mercy, he froze bodies, shattering flesh apart. The Mortuus who was transforming had finished turning into a beast of fur and fangs. The Lycan charged at Kenshi, who was still looking for a weapon to use.

Other Mortuus in the area simply opted to flee. Not every one of them were so eager to throw their lives or spill blood. Leere and Bi-Hanzo were grateful that everyone who was watching them didn’t feel the need to attack. What neither enjoyed was the lack of control they could seize from the other Mortuus. Their zombies had their puppet masters, and they wouldn’t be taken away from them.

Black swore from the shadows and decided to get involved. Leere seemed to be a magnet for trouble when dealing with forces of darkness. Hades was at least right about that part. Kenshi was in trouble with that damn wolf, Leere and Hanzo were chopping up zombies, and there were monsters all around... Black was beginning to think Hades should have gone ahead instead of him. While the assassin was an excellent fighter, he was used to dealing with opponents one-on-one or very quickly, not in a battle setting. Though, he would do his best. Emerging from the darkness, he appeared in front of Kenshi and cut down the werewolf with a slice to its throat. Tossing Kenshi one of his blades, he instructed. "Don't lose it, kid."

Kenshi watched as the werewolf grabbed its throat, stumbling backwards. Gripping the sword, the Mortuus man took a breath as he ran forward towards one of the Necromancers, decapitating one with multiple swings to the neck.

Bi-Hanzo held no regrets about killing his own people. In fact, in his mind, these weren’t his people. The centralists were monsters masquerading in his flesh and skin. Turning briefly into a mist form he gracefully moved past the dead, killing the last of the Necromancer attacking them.

Leere’s blue scythe sizzled as she brought it to her side, a light sound vibrating in the air to cut the silence. “Black. Thank you for the assistance. Where’s Bonegrinder?”

"Hades is helping him heal." Black informed Leere as he walked around and remove the heads of all the corpses... just in case. "He survived. We both think Bonegrinder fractured his skull in that fumbling around. They should be catching up in a few minutes, I hope."

Hades? The cat had been able to follow them all this way so quickly? Strange, but Leere wasn’t going to question how he got here in the moment. “That’s good.”

Around them, in the buildings, other Mortuus were gathering to their window sides more and more. Even some curious kids. Finally, one of the residents spoke out. “Outsiders! Very odd to see a group of outer ring Mortuus who aren’t completely lacking in perpetration. And we didn’t know you had the skill to have a pet undead so stealthy.”

Leere tapped the staff of her scythe against the ground. “He’s not a pet, but a fellow traveller.” “Traveller? Ha! Who in their right mind would want to travel here?” Some of the residents laughed. Many held expressions of stone.

Bi-Hanzo shouted out to them. “Have there been other Mortuus from the outside taken here? Answer us!”

“Oh sure,” the resident smiled. This was the most entertainment she had in forever.

“They often go up there.” She pointed to the biggest on the continent. “But no outsiders ever leave the Tower of Death.”

“Tower of Death?” Leere chimed in. Seemed like a simple name.

“Of course. It’s a magical construct that is simply, ultimately, and in all its finality, death.”

"... pet?" Black scoffed with a role of his glowing eyes. "I am no puppet. More like a ghost than one of their ghouls." He then looked at Leere. "We're not going up into that tower without Bonegrinder or Hades. If my master's indication was correct, then this means that there is a possibility that Destroyer could very well be nearby."

“I absolutely agree.” Leere was scanning the eyes looking down on her. Up near her top left she saw a small boy tilting his head at her. When he saw that he had her attention, he waved to her. The Shadow Sage felt sad. This was no place to raise a child. What if she had to raise Joy like this? It deeply troubled her.

The resident looked shocked by Destroyer being mentioned. “No. Don’t mention his name. Terrible things always happen when he’s mentioned.”

The land was indeed as hideous as Bonegrinder had described it. He had no idea why anyone would want to live here. Those in their right mind wanted to escape. The others who wanted to remain were less than sane. Though, his master's words flowed through his mind: "friend or foe is not a question here". So... could these people really be 'good'? "Then would you rather me call him something else?" Black asked dryly. "One of his other names? Or Sir Divine Asshole?"

“It’s a case of never meet your heroes. Least for us that live on the lower levels. Death, madness and chaos has run rampant since they arrived.”

Kenshi let an angry shout out to them. “Don’t try to spin a tale of pity! You lot thrive on that! You dabble in evil magics!”

The resident snarled, a streak of fury on her face. “We do what we can to survive. Sure, we kill and betray sometimes do that, but we are still a community that bands together. Those that live higher want to the consume the whole damn world with their ambitions.”

Leere was about to say something, when a wailing siren was heard. At the far ends of each block, a deep fog was rolling in. Suddenly, all the residents were rushing to shut their windows. The lady talking to them pointed at the tower. “If you value your lives, run to the tower doors! I wish you luck!”

“Wait a second!” It was too late. Leere watched the last window close with the woman. In the fog, a massive tentacle reached out, scooping up a dog that was patrolling the food. With a whine the dog was taken into the fog, followed by a sickening crunch heard from inside. As the wet crunches echoed outwards, the Shadow Sage knew that they could easily be next. Leere looked to Black. The way to Bonegrinder was quickly cut off by the fog. It was like it wanted the group to enter the tower. “Black! We have to go!”

"... you know I blame you for dragging me into this, right?" Black snatched her wrist and started running at full speed. "Hold your breath. This is going to feel really cold." With a jump, he landed, sinking into the shadows below, pulling in Leere with him. He maneuvered around the tentacles through the darkness, zooming to the doors.

Bi-Hanzo and Kenshi, not having the same luxury, sprinted as hard as they could to the doors. They were made to be 30 feet tall, and need all of Leere and Blacks strength to open. “Pull your back into it!”

Black was throwing himself against the door, trying his best to get it to open. The only other option was to try to use the shadows to slide inside under the door... though, that would be difficult if he could not see where he was going. Just as it seemed the fog was going to catch up to them, Bonegrinder's huge coils slammed the doors open with one massive strike. The Anagari looked like hell. His horns were still damaged, his skin was scuffed, and he was missing several scales. Hades' magic had helped him heal, but his face was sunken and skin paling. It was obvious he was pushing his limit, despite Prama's influence. The huge Lynel was beside of him, unharmed for now.

The group of six ran in, with Hades closing the doors behind them as quickly as they opened it. With a loud bang, the doors sealed shut. Like it or not, they were trapped inside the black heart of Malus.

________________________________________________________________

Previous Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/626094342071828480/evils-bane-ch-6-yield-to-damnation

Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/626629526442655744/evils-bane-ch-8-looming-dread

#Crossover #ridersoftheapocalypse #leere dragmire #leere #Bonegrinder #Black the Wraith #Malus #Mortuus #Horror

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callsignbaphomet · 4 years

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14, 15, 17, 25, 32, 36, and 46! Caveat is 25 has to be answered by at least the big three, J, A, and L! Otherwise go w/whoever uwu

Lol so you know what? Let's just triple it up for all Qs because why not.

14. Do they look up to anyone?

Loke: His mom. She's always been there for as far back as he can remember. She taught him a lot of what she knew about healing, her fighting style which when mixed in with his dad's made him a threat. She also managed to teach him an arcane attack her tribe uses which was a huge deal since regular berserkers can't use magic. He always hung around her and kind of hero worshipped her as one of the most wisest women and fiercest warriors. He learned everything she taught him and he even became the field medic because of her.

He always thought of her as a mother even before Sanaa and Ingvarr married and she was okay with it so when they DID marry he was ecstatic.

Jelani: His mom and grandpa Haakon. His mom taught him everything she taught Loke. Everyone was sure he was an arcane berserker just like her so she taught him magic as well but like Loke it never really stuck. The bit he learned he did on his own and it wasn't anything he'd been taught but he modified it to mimic his mom's lessons as best he could. She naturally taught him of her people and culture and he was always stunned at her accomplishments and was a positive influence in his life. Unbeknownst to him his parents but especially his mother helped in making him more "human" if that makes especially during his teens when his previous self was kinda threatening to emerge.

His grandpa was a huge influence on him and emotional support. Thing is Haakon always had a suspicion that he was something entirely else but Jela did as well difference is that Jela felt really alienated because of it and was often afraid of that but Haakon always made sure to make him feel better about his differences and would often sooth his feelings of alienation. He was also an extremely accepting and open minded person and he learned a lot of compassion from him.

Angelus: Ever since he was in his grandpa's custody he was surrounded by people who influenced him and shaped him into the man he currently is. So he has a lot of people he looks up to. Trevor introduced him to a woman he looked up to (so much so that he took her surname). Ravencroft was a werewolf and the first exposure Angelus had to the arcane. Because of her he became intrested in magic and decided to learn it. She showed him all that was possible within the arcane and pointed him in the right direction to get started and ever since then he's continued.

Between Jelani, Loke and Trevor he learned to write, read and speak (as in forming coherent sentences) and he learned confidence from them.

Aleksey taught him everything from his family history, got him the help he needed and taught him all there is to know about werewolves and what it meant to be one. He also taught him to read, write and speak Sumerian and Russian.

15. Who is their best friend?

Loke: Okay, so like, Jelani is his best friend. Those two are like THE definition of unconditional love.

However, Abigail is also his best friend. They really got to know each other when she was his spotter for a wet works and from then on it's like thick as thieves. They've even been mistaken for a couple but it's because of how they talk to each other and behave with each other. Abby has no closely related living relatives so on her wedding he walked her down the aisle.

Really close to a best friend is Trevor. First person he ran up to when he found out he was gonna be a dad was Lo. I've never mentioned them being best friends because they've never given it much thought. When they first met Trevor didn't trust him but it wasn't personal. Then he found out that Jelani, who he was hanging out with a lot, was Lo's younger brother and when he saw how they were with each other he liked Lo even less but this was because how they treated each other reminded him of him and his younger brother who'd died of pneumonia. Lo found out Trev was uncomfortable around him so he gave him the space he needed until one day they just started talking and got along pretty well. As the years went by they just kind of hung out a lot. And then a lot of years later they fucked for a while and then just stayed really good occasionally fuck buddies especially after Jelani and Angelus became boyfriends.

Jelani: Let's get the obvious answer outta the way first. It's Loke. Those two would die for each other and on several occasions have actually almost died protecting each other. They're never far apart for long, neither of them like it.

There's also Trevor who's been a really good friend ever since they met. At one point Trev became the third one in the group and the three of them were inseparable.

And many, many, years later Jelani and Trevor fucked for a while. I like to think their friendship is really solid. Was a little rocky after Jela was crushing on borderline in love with him but things went back to normal after Jela got over it.

Angelus: Well, first and foremost it's Ginger. They liked each other the second they met but as soon as each they found out that they were both arcanists it was like heart eyes motherfucker! Like Loke and Abigail they're a power duo in the field and anything one doesn't know about anything arcane the other will know. Basically Ginger is his bff.

Close but also the big brother he never had is Trevor. He thinks of Loke the same but more so Trevor. At one point after he was in his grandfather's custody and was recovering physically and mentally he went silent. Didn't want to talk at all to anyone, not even Jelani. It wasn't out of anger he just couldn't bring himself to talk. Trevor had experience with this because his little brother was mute. Also tbh Trevor really felt for 'im. Jelani told Trev and Lo how he'd found him and then later the three of them found out what had happened to him during all those years. During that time he wasn't talking Trevor managed to communicate with him and after he gained enough confidence to speak he was usually seen talking to Trevor a lot. He absolutely loves Trevor and will fuck you up if you even breathe wrong in his direction.

And of course there's his husband who he considers his best friend and safest person to be around in the world. J's pretty much been his first everything. Well, except for boyfriend that was someone else. He was in love with him but kept it a secret and took every chance he could to be with or near him until muuuuuuuuuuuuuuch later he accidentally revealed it. The rest is history.

Lol Trevor might be friend shaped.

17. Who is the person they hate most in the world?

Loke: Man who killed his grandpa and the man who killed his fiancé.

Jelani: Man who killed his grandpa. I'd say he hates that man more than even his peers from his "previous" life that betrayed him.

Angelus: His abusers for obvious reasons but at the same time he doesn't hate them. He hates everything he had to endure but at the same time he was conditioned to believe he deserved it and even in modern times he still kinda thinks the same way so in a way he feels like any hatred he feels towards them isn't justifiable. These mixed feelings also extend towards his grandmother and one of his uncles. Both were the worst of the bunch with his grandmother allowing all the torture and knowing about the raping done by his own uncle but not caring. Then her emotionally and mentally abusing him.

To say he got some sense of relief after he got some payback on his uncle is an understatement.

He kinda hates his father as well. If it hadn't been for his dad selling him to his grandmother to leave his dad and mom alone none of the abuse and attempted murder woulda taken place.

25. How do they handle being complimented?

Loke: He likes to follow up a compliment with another. If you compliment him he'll cheerily compliment you back.

Jelani: For someone who's always confident and sure of himself on the surface every time he gets complimented by someone he gets easily flustered and he immediately smiles and does this thing where he kinda bites one of the corners of his lower lip.

Angelus: Setting aside all the obvious things like being shy and insecure he kinda doesn't know how to react to compliments. His default is to lower his eyes and says a simple thanks but then he worries if he sounds like he wasn't enthusiastic enough or if he says more than thanks he worries it sounds disingenuous. Even in his better more confident days he'll still give a simple thanks but his tone will be louder and may add more to it.

32. If they could change one thing, what would it be?

Loke: Kind of a tie between not having asthma or hemophilia. Both are his biggest worries.

Jelani: Oh boy there is a ton he would change. But the one thing that he would change if he could would be to be a berserker like the rest of his family. Yes, even after finding out what he is. Hell, especially after what he is and how he was back then. He wants nothing to do with that part not with everything that went on, with those who betrayed him and those he hurt.

"He's a Maker. Why doesn't he just do it?"

Can't. Deities are deities whether they like it or not. They can live as anything else and mimic that species as best they can but they'll always be deities. The most they do is forfeit their duties and exile themselves or literally just walk away from it all and come back when they so choose. Those are his only two choices.

Angelus: What doesn't he wanna change? But for the sake of sticking to just one it would definitely be to have no mental illnesses whatsoever. He haaaaaaaaaaates the fact that he was the victim of years of every abuse you can think of and he's left scarred, knee deep in therapies and medications meanwhile his abusers are living good normal lives as if they didn't fuck up a child just because he's a Crossed Breed and not an Outsider.

36. Do they believe in destiny?

Loke: Tbh he kinda doesn't really care much about destiny or has even thought much about it. He just takes things as they come.

Jelani: No. Glossing over the irony of this answer he just doesn't believe destiny somehow controls your outcome. It's you who controls that.

Angelus: He's not a believer in it but he doesn't deny it either.

46. Are they a fast learner?

Loke: I think he's more average in terms of learning things he isn't too interested in or knows much about. He is definitely more practice than theory oriented tho.

Jelani: Yes. A very fast learner. Theory or practice it doesn't matter. He catches on fast and learns fast.

Angelus: Also kinda average but he needs both theory and practice and examples help a lot.

#reply #theonedayking #Oracle Corp #oc things #Loke tag #Jelani tag #Angelus tag

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whatadaze · 5 years

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oh anne,

okay so i started this show after fifty years of seeing it float around here on tumblr and one of my closest friends grew up reading the books so i was familiar with the story. couple days ago i was looking for a new show to watch and was like “okie i’m going to start anne” and i’m so glad i did! i have to admit, the first episode was really long (but understandably) and i sort of let it play in the background while i unpacked. i found anne a bit annoying at first but after the second episode i was like, you know what? this little girl is INSPIRING.

so here’s my hot take (that no one asked for lol)

**possible spoilers ahead**

anne CLEARLY has issues with anxiety, ptsd, and even some bits of mania, but the thing is, she doesn’t let that hinder her. she had such a horrible upbringing but learned to console herself with books and her imagination. it sounds a bit childish but if you really take the time to look at it, it’s quite beautiful. she was able to create something so wonderful despite her less than wonderful circumstances. she never uses her past as an excuse for anything and just views it as something that happened to her and led her to where she is now.

and oh my goodness, the family dynamic between marilla, matthew, and anne! seriously one of the best television relationships i have ever seen. i love how cold and expressionless marilla is at first but she is one of the kindest, warmest characters i’ve ever seen. she doesn’t let anne get away with anything but does it reasonably and out of love. matthew is such a softie when it comes to anne, but he is just an overall softie towards everyone and i love that. anne just has that effect on everyone she meets because she is truly out of this world. which leads me to...GILBERT.

wow, what a cutie. i know it might seem weird to root for a couple that is so young, but just knowing that they do in fact end up together in the future makes this whole thing even more worthwhile. he is just so intrigued with her from the very beginning and i mean, i can understand why. anne is just so different from the other girls and really turns the town of avonlea upside down (in the best way!). and man, the way gilbert stares at her and challenges her and even the way he teases her is just so adorable. their relationship is so pure and they match each other so well! i’m so excited to see their relationship grows and watch them fall in ~lOvE~

now, the friendships on this show are amazing! if you know me at all, you know i’m a sucker for strong girl friendships. i’m sick of seeing girls pitting against one another, and i’m glad that for the most part, the girls on this show support and love one another! daina is the cutest and purest bean and i was hoping she wouldn’t be a stuck up rich girl when she was first introduced. (i’m glad i was wrong 2.5 seconds later!) she is EXACTLY what anne needs since she has never had a true friend and i’m so glad that she is there to support her and encourages her imagination and (sometimes) wild thoughts! ruby was a bit harder to warm up to but you know what? she is just a bit ignorant and i’m glad she has diana and anne to tell her what’s right + wrong. i think ruby has good intentions and she means well, and she is just such a cutie. i really couldn’t nOT like her, you know? and ugh, the rest of anne’s friends are super cute as well and i just love how anne brings her imagination and creative storytelling to the school + help stir up the rest of the kids’ imaginations as well.

another thing i’m gonna touch base on is the topic of family. ugh, i love how this show teaches its viewers that family can be chosen as much as it is assigned by blood. and that sometimes, the ties that we choose to MAKE are often the strongest. of course, the main example would be the cuthberts. they are the least traditional family to say the least, with marilla and matthew never have begin married and anne being an adopted orphan, but their family dynamic is one of (if not THE) strongest bonds on the show. and i love them so much and want to protect them forever and ever!!! another example seen is at the end of season 2 with cole. he is such a talented, amazing kid but you can clearly see how depressed and out of place he feels with his own family. he can’t be his truest self and that really hinders him from being his BEST self. i’m so glad that he decided to live with Aunt Josephine at the end and CHOSE his family. HE CHOSE WHAT WAS BEST FOR HIM. lkajdflkjas

and omg, i’m so glad aunt josephine played such a big role this season with all of the children. man, i aspire to be her. she is such a good influence on the children and i am really looking forward to learning more about her and her backstory!

now i’m going to take a second to just rant a bit about the “antagonists” of this story. first off, MR PHILLIPS. i know this show is set in the 1800s but i COULD not handle the whole mr phillips x prissy thing. i know it was deemed “acceptable” back then but something about it always seemed disingenuous and wrong. (we learn later exactly why....) but man, the way he just took out his own internalized homophobia and anger at cole was just...IT WAS SNAPE LEVEL (AND THAT IS NOT A COMPLIMENT WHATSOEVER). for an adult to lash out on a child is never acceptable and lkajsflkd it just angered me so much.

and bILLY OMG is every evil character just named billy? jesus, i could not stand that kid. he was truly a punkass for no real reason. (not that having a reason would’ve justified it) but i’m glad that cole still apologized to him and told him to think about why he destroys the things he does. and MAYBE that scene with the fox is hinting at a redemption arc of sorts in s3? i hope so...bc i’m sick of him pushing everyone around and calling everyone BUD. THEY ARE NOT YOUR BUD, BUD.

ok last thing

when you think about the fact that this show is a children’s show, it makes the whole show even MORE amazing and out of this world. they tackle subjects such as feminism, mental illness, homophobia, racism, sexuality, bullying, and encourages kindness, imagination, reading, learning, and friendship. you might be thinking, “ugh this show is just trying to push its own liberal agenda” um excuse you, it is NOT. they don’t force it down your throat and are able to incorporate these topics in a natural, fitting way. it doesn’t stray from the storyline and fits really well into each episode.

ALRIGHTY so that’s enough of extra shan for now

i’m so excited for season 3 and even though it’s airing in Canada first, i am willing to wait because this show deserves all the OFFICIAL views !!!

i’ll try to avoid spoilers till then...

(random sidenote: i really wanna gif this show but have no idea where i can download the episodes...help...ajlfksdjla)

ok toooooodles

#anne with an e #shan watches anne #shan is extra again #with these long ass posts

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kettlewrites · 6 years

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bad boy!han (jisung) [negative utopia!au]

thank you to the anon who requested this! [totally inspired by nosedive from black mirror]

warning: min. profanity! (no proofreading) [2.9k words]

also,, it’s a bad boy who is not really a “BAD” boy au

jisung has always been viewed as a “bad” boy, it was never his intention but in a world that is based on “stupid” star ratings and fake interactions,, he had no choice but to be viewed as an outcast.

after dropping below a 3.0 rating from protesting these views he held

he was disowned by his own family, but luckily was picked up by a few guys around his own age and have been with them ever since.

and now it’s been three years since chan and changbin offered a place in their run down cabin to jisung,, all of them not accepted by the world of fake smiles and friendships.

throughout the years, the three of them went along in their lives to discover the true meaning of life that was hidden by the government,, finding that there was more to the world than a swipe of 5 stars

jisung had the lowest score out of them,, still running around with that 1.4 rating above his head that created on-lookers who were complete strangers to continue to drop his level down

and this is where you come around

you were from a family of high 4.0s,, you being a 4.7 who had never gone below a 4.5 in years

you had always been used to the artificial interactions you come across in your everyday life,, whether it was given something on the house for an easy 5 star rating or someone who complimented you with their full pearly whites, smiling so hard and wide that their botox was seeping out of their pores,, you became numb to it and would respond back with the same disingenuous smile before swiping your thumb to the five star option

it was your everyday,, and almost everyone else’s in the small bubble you associated with so you never felt odd or out of place with your routine

it was something that you could expect a mlle away,, probably even in your sleep

“good morning, y/n.” jennifer says with a giant smile, “would you like a croissant? they gave me an extra one by accident.”

you smile back, although on the inside you were frowning in disgust, “no thank you.”

‘a little try-hard aren’t you? just for a five star, yuck.’ you mentally groaned as you slid through her timeline, full of pictures of her dogs

you couldn’t lie, you had a soft spot for cute puppers which raised her score to a mediocre 3 star rating

funny how she was acting all nice then immediately curses you out once you left the elevator as she saw her level ding down a few decimals

you walked out of the apartment complex, mindlessly scrolling through the timeline that was projected on your phone not paying attention to the world around you

that was when you bumped into him,, your eyes widened as you laid eyes on the blond boy who had a flashing 1.4 at the side of his face

“s-sorry.” he mumbles, “i should’ve paid attention to where i was going.”

you furrow your brows, pondering how someone like him was able to get such a low score

“the 1.4? yes, it’s low. no, i’m not on double-damage. yes, i’m perfectly fine at where it is.” it was as if he had read your mind

you smile, almost genuinely the feeling quite odd to you, “i hadn’t even said anything yet.”

his smile was radiating, sending a pang into your chest, even if it was just a small half smile it was one of the brightest smiles you have seen in a long time

his hand was on the back of his neck as he laughs off your statement, “i just know that look. i’ve gotten them almost every day for the past three years.”

he was intriguing, everything about him sparked your curiosity, from the way he felt so genuine to the story he held behind that flashing score

“what’s.. your name?” you ask, putting your phone aside, your heart wanting to interact with him face-to-face rather than letting you find out his every detail by yourself from your phone

“do you not want to look yourself?” he asks, that same half smile on his face, “a 4.7 actually wanting to have a conversation with me?”

you shrug, cocking your head sideways, “there’s just something about you.” ‘that makes me want to learn more and more.’

“the name is jisung.” now your chest was twisting when he smiled widely, it had looked the same as every smile you’ve seen but how did his make you feel so differently?

the way his eyes curled into crescent moons and his nose crinkled. the way his smile felt so warm and at home unlike all the other ones you’ve seen that were cold and distant.

“jisung.” the way the name rolled around your mouth made you giddy and warm, “i like it.”

his laugh was hearty, bouncing off of his chest and the way he threw his head back as he laughed made you want to laugh but you didn’t know how to sound as genuine as he did

you subconsciously heard that awful sound of his level dinging down every minute he spent standing outside with you as yours was ringing up causing you to scrunch your face in uneasiness

“it’s okay, i’m used to it.” jisung mumbles, nothing about his tone was sad or disappointed

you looked around at the people around you, how they were looking at you and jisung differently although you both were doing the exact same thing

the only difference was his low score and your high one

“i should probably get going, i wouldn’t want you to ding down.” his smile was still radiating, how was he able to be so positive in a world that treated him so poorly?

“i’d love to see you again one day!” it was one of your automated goodbyes, but this time saying it felt so authentic to you

“you can always find me with that phone of yours.” he says before waving goodbye

‘phone of yours? what could be possible mean by that?’

it had been a few days since your encounter with jisung

he was wrapped around your everyday thoughts, something always leading you back to your short conversation that you held with him

you were sitting at the breakfast bar in your family home, mindlessly scrolling through jisung’s feed for the tenth time in hopes that he would give an update

you were hesitant to send him a message, scared that he would ignore you

your father places a hand on your shoulder, giving you a startle

you instantly shut off your phone and turn to look at him, that fake smile wrapped itself onto your lips once again

“i talked to your reputelligent therapist.” he started, taking a seat beside you on the empty stool, “he showed me your conversation with that 1.4 kid.”

you gulped down, now feeling extremely nervous which was also a new feeling

“i don’t like that kid.” he says outright not hesitating anything he says, “you know what means, I shouldn’t have to hear about him again the next time i talk to your therapist.”

“therapist.” you scoff, “a fucking therapist? you call him a therapist? dad, he looks at how i swipe my finger i’m pretty sure that’s not a therapist!”

you anger was boiling, you’ve never been so upset at anyone like this before

“do not speak to me in that tone.” ironic as his was just as harsh and cold as yours was, but what was the point when everyone spoke that way towards each other in this house.

“then don’t judge a book by it’s cover, or in this case a person by their number.” you snap, before hopping down from the stool and heading to your room

as you were almost at the end of the hallway you heard that disgusting down-voting sound that you heard when you were with jisung

you look down to see that your father had given you a single star rating which caused you to,, loosen all of your held up aggression

“you would do that to your own child?” you were screaming at this point, your face was red and your knuckles became white as you gripped your phone tightly, “all of this is just a game to you isn’t it?”

he huffed, furrowing his brows and crossed his arms across his chest to close himself away from your attacks, “you deserved it.”

“even the conversations you have with your own children have to be rated? do you even know a life where you don’t rate every interaction?” your tone was bitter, but you were speaking from your mind

something you hadn’t done in years

“stop it now, y/n.” he insisted.

“all this life is to you is holding that stupid 4.8.” you pointed at the flashing number beside his face, “i guess genuine isn’t in your vocabulary anymore.”

and with that, you walked past him towards the front door, another down-vote sound ring from your phone,, you don’t even bother to turn around since you felt his eyes boring through the back of your head,, all you did was raise your arm to flip the bird at him.

the outside world felt different to you,, trying to distract yourself from the flashing numbers beside everyone’s face

you had that urge to rip out your eye-implant that allowed you to see it

the bubble in your throat was threatening to become into a sob, the overwhelming feeling rushing through your body after releasing all your pent up anger

you felt a ring coming from your phone, it wasn’t a rating this time but a text

‘two one star ratings? ouch.’ you read the message summary from your notification screen, the name sending your mind into a whirl

jisung

‘you’ve been watching my score? you don’t seem the type.’

‘and you’ve been watching my feed so you don’t seem like that type either.’

‘touché. we should talk.’

‘i can meet you by the old library?’

jisung had ran the library after you agreed,, his heart was racing and some of his strand of hair stuck to his sweaty forehead

you were sitting at the front of the building, looking at the scenery around you instead of putting your nose into your phone

“what was it,, being rude to a cashier or being too loud in the back of a taxi or was it both?” he was already smiling, not bothering to greet you with the usual hi, hello, how are yous

you chuckle, "you won’t believe me if i told you.”

“try me, i’ve gotten a one star for almost everything you could possibly think of.” he sat beside you, leaving inches between the two of you

“defending you.” your voice was soft, but you turn to look at him.

his eyes widened and the confusion was written all over his face

“defending me? you’re kidding right?” his tone had changed, his smile faded into a thin straight line.

“i was right. i knew you wouldn’t believe me.” you laughed again, it was more of a in-your-face-i-told-you-so laugh

the feeling between the two of you changed,, it was tense and the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife

“why would you ever defend me? you don’t even know me.” he sounded rather upset and it struck you in the wrong way,, why would he be upset for you helping him?

“jisung,, just because i don’t know you well doesn’t mean i shouldn’t stand up for you from people who judge you just for your number.” your eyebrows furrow in frustration,, you didn’t have the words to express your emotions

“who was it?”

“my,, dad.” you hesitated to answer, you were still trying to process the argument you had with him earlier

“are you a fucking idiot?” his tone was harsh, just like the one you had heard come from your father. his body language went through the same process, closing himself away from you.

“excuse me?” you asked,, taken aback by his reponse

“are you stupid? why would anyone in their right mind defend a 1.4 especially you,, a person with a 4.5.” you could tell his stance was getting more serious, he had turned into someone you’ve never seen before

granted,, you’ve only seen him once and stalked his feed but more so you’ve never expected such a happy-go-lucky guy be so serious and upset

“so what you’re saying is that i should have let him bad-mouth you?”

he shrugged, “what’s new? it’s not like i don’t go through it everyday anyways. one more person doing it wouldn’t hurt me.”

“jisung,, just because people do it all the time does not mean it’s okay!”

“i don’t want you the end up like me!” he finally screams, “as happy as i am with where i am in life,, i don’t want you to end up being mistreated like i have. you’ve been so sheltered with your score... there’s so many things people do to you just because of the number of your score.”

it took him a minute to calm down,, and he leaned against the wall of the building before looking at you again

“i was disowned by my family after protesting against the reforms..i see them in town and they won’t even blink an eye in my direction. everywhere i walk in town i get cursed at or tossed around,, i’m seen as a bad guy and i really don’t want that to happen to you.”

“but you’re happy.” you acknowledged, “you’re happier now than i would ever be if i stayed in my home and i want that happiness in my life jisung. i’m so tired of all of the artificial interactions.. of all the fake smiles and the fake friendships.”

your eyes began to water, “even if means that i have to give up my family and my privileges of having a high score to be happy,, i would do it.”

jisung looked at you, watching the tears stream down your face. his heart twisted in his chest,, looking at you reminded him of himself three years ago

“you’re not a bad guy.” you whisper, still choking on the sob you were trying to keep in, “everyone in this town doesn’t even know what a real interaction is anymore and it’s sad.”

“you really want to leave everything behind.. for me?”

that’s what made you laugh,, you knew he was teasing you as well from his emphasis on ‘for me’

“shut up.” you laugh, his teasing helping you feel better, “i’d give everything up if that meant i could be happy and if you happen to make me happy in the long run then yeah for you as well idiot.”

so,, you never ended up reconciling with your father. you avoided him when you had gone home that day after meeting with jisung.

jisung had told you to give a thought for a bit before jumping into a big decision over fresh anger

but you,, knew it was the best decision you could make as once you got home,, your brother and mother were both ignoring you already as if they all made a silent agreement to not see you as family anymore

that night you packed a bag and jumped out of your window,, not even bothering to leave a letter goodbye

you messaged jisung about your actions as you were walking back to the empty library with a duffle on your side,, he was already there when you arrived

jisung had convinced chan and changbin to make room for you,, as you really didn’t have anywhere else to go. they decided to use your score to their advantage until it went down in return for housing.

you didn’t object to it,, jisung and you were assigned to go around running errands and that’s when your score started to spiral down to match jisung’s

word had spread quick that you left your family

after a year of being free,, you couldn’t ask for anything different. you were happy.

now whenever you looked back to your first encounter with jisung,, it all made sense of how and why he was so happy.

“so you did do it for me.” he teases, holding your hand as you both walked downtown to the grocery store

“not really for you when we weren’t even dating when i left everything.” you joke back, wrapping your arm around his still holding into his hand

“that’s only because you wouldn’t admit you liked me until six months ago!”

“as if! you’re the one who couldn’t ask me out until changbin told me you were trying to so I asked you!”

“but you wouldn’t change it for the world right?”

“hey that’s my line.”

and he was right, you definitely wouldn’t change it for the world.

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easyhairstylesbest · 3 years

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Paloma Elsesser Is Still Trying to Find Her Purpose

In lieu of a New Years Resolution, Paloma Elsesser has her word of the year: joy. Following the chaos of a year that robbed us of that very emotion and then some, the IMG model says she has been prioritizing her happiness. Right now, as we chat over the phone, that happiness looks a lot like a bagel with scallion cream cheese and a bottle of orange juice. “I’m starving. I’m so sorry,” she apologizes in between placing her order from her car. Joy also looks like spending time laughing with her loved ones, or her newest investment—a house she and her boyfriend recently purchased upstate to escape the hustle and bustle of city life. What she craves now is peace, quiet, and stillness.

“Having that kind of reprieve has been really essential. I like having a little anonymity and privacy,” she says. Coming up for air after an isolating and painful 2020, Elsesser needed a change from an “energy depriving” city like New York. “I find myself more drawn to having closer proximity to nature or a community that feels a little bit more restorative for me. Peace and quiet.”

Elsesser may be craving peace and quiet, but her debut in the industry was anything but. The superstar model has lived in the Big City for the past 10 years of her life and has walked in shows in just about every other major city there is. She made history in Milan as one of the first-ever plus-sized models to walk in a Fendi show. She walked for Lanvin and Alexander McQueen in Paris. She also appeared in New York for Eckhaus Latta and Savage X Fenty. When she’s not gracing runways, Elsesser can be found front and center in campaigns for the likes of Salvatore Ferragamo, Nike, Glossier, Fenty Beauty, Ugg, and more. Then there’s her latest trick: starring in a new campaign for Coach’s collaboration with fellow iconic brand Champion.

Below, Elsesser on her new Coach campaign, walking in her purpose, and meditating.

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

This sounds really, really corny, but in the last year, I’ve definitely implemented a meditation practice. For the most part, nine times out of 10, I meditate when I wake up. It’s still an insane thing to me because I used to wake up and reach for my phone. Now, I do a guided meditation that’s a little over 12 minutes before I interact with the world. I’m feeling a little numbed out, honestly. But my new approach to every day is just staying in the moment and finding joy because we’re bombarded with news all day long. We are constantly bombarded with new information, whether to reference existing, or the pandemic, or just lifestyle. I just try and stay in the moment.

How did you come to join the Coach x Champion campaign?

It’s been really beautiful to work with Coach because we have a kind of long-term partnership. At Coach, there’s a family element. I went to CFDA Awards with Stuart [Vevers] a few years ago and Coach, and since then I’ve gone to all of the shows. The people who work within the brand know what kind of clothes I like to wear to the shows and being incorporated in the campaign and even the relationship that my own mom has with some of the people that work at the brand, PR wise and there’s a really beautiful family element to working with Coach.

This year has solidified that long-term partnership. In lieu of a show due to the pandemic, Coach has planned to roll out a bunch of projects, including this one with Champion. I’ve done a [Jean-Michael] Basquiat campaign with them and some other little projects, but the Champion one felt like a really authentic partnership. I know that when I’ve worked with Coach, I feel really taken care of and respected and honored. I saw the collection with Champion and was like, Damn, I think this is really cool.

When you heard that Coach was collaborating with Champion, what came to mind?

Coach is such an iconic brand because it’s one that can remain unchanged and deliver quality products. Champion is iconic in that way as well because they have provided quality products people are committed to and they’re not a luxury brand. Champion has evolved over the years to honor the identity of different kinds of people. Even with sweatpants or a sweatshirt, you can still be chic and refined.

I like how that’s been laid into each other. Champion and Coach are a very perfect collaboration because folks really honor long-term quality and products. These two brands always remain true to providing the customer and viewer with an authentic long-term commitment to what the brand stands for. I thought it made a lot of sense.

What is the first time you had a Coach bag or when you threw on a Champion sweatsuit?

My first interaction with Coach was a Coach bag. I found an authentic leather one at a consignment store when I was in middle school, it was like a saddle bag. Then there was the era where the it shoe was Coach’s monogram sneakers.

Omg, everyone had a pair of those sneakers.

Those are really, really iconic. I also found a pair at a consignment shop and I wore them in sixth grade. With Champion, I must have been in elementary school when I was first introduced to the brand. I was pretty experimental with clothes, but I was also kind of a tomboy. I would kind of play wearing sneakers and some Champions sweatpants for PE. I still wear Champion sweats to this day today.

What piece from the collection are you wearing on your Zoom meetings?

There’s an oversized red sweater that I really like that I’m wearing in the campaign. It’s really cozy. I’ve been really into sweaters lately.

Alessandro Simonetti

I remember reading something that referred to you as an icon. What do you make of that honor? Do you consider yourself one?

I definitely can not consider myself an icon, but it is such a good compliment. I think that thinking of what I, or just the world, especially in fashion and beauty, have referenced what that icon is supposed to look like is pretty exclusionary, but also really powerful. When I think of beauty or fashion icons, that’s Pam Grier or Iman. To be an icon is to be aspirational. I’ve never really seen myself as an icon because I’m always a little rough around the edges, but I think that there’s a new age. We get to redefine around what being iconic is, you know?

Who is Paloma Elsesser right now?

She is in transition. I have a newfound willingness to set my own terms and my own boundaries, whether it be work and life. This last year has really referenced a fracturing of what we thought life could be like, and I’m trying to honor that.

What do you think your role is in the fashion industry, beyond your title?

I don’t exclusively want to exist as a figure in this industry. I am also a human and I’m a woman and going through life, so I don’t always want to play the role of the advocate or wordsmith, that’s been prescribed to me. Granted, I do also think I’ve prescribed it myself because that’s what comes with the terms of wanting change to happen. Honestly, I don’t know what my role is because my role is to show up authentically in the work that I want to create. And within that is to not always be the poster child of body positivity or success. I’m a person. I am very much so flawed and imperfect.

Alessandro Simonetti

Are you still trying to find your purpose?

Yes, I’m still figuring that out. I’m a pretty outspoken person. I don’t think that one day I’ll wake up and shut up, but I’m still trying to figure that out.

What are you most hopeful for looking to 2021 and beyond, where the industry’s concerned?

What I’m looking forward to most is being able to be a part of a grander spectrum of talent on set and at other opportunities. I think the efforts the industry made to be inclusive can feel very disingenuous, but we can’t go back. Whether or not they want to or not, the brands and the companies have to do better. The time will be uncomfortable and I am fearful of what other black folks will have to endure on top of the daily precarity as we are brought into the fold more.

What have you discovered about yourself in the past year?

That I actually like spending time alone a lot more than I thought that I did. I’ve always been a really social person who always had people around. I grew up with a big family and a bustling household and I never really spent time alone. And now having to be home all the time, I like spending time alone. I value it. It’s essential. It’s necessary for me. But also it allows me to really value the time that I do spend with people that I love.

Nerisha Penrose Assistant Editor Nerisha is the assistant editor at ELLE.com, covering all things beauty and fashion.

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Paloma Elsesser Is Still Trying to Find Her Purpose

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kidsviral-blog · 6 years

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Meet Sage The Gemini, The Bay Area Rap Scene's Surprise Breakout Star

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/meet-sage-the-gemini-the-bay-area-rap-scenes-surprise-breakout-star/

Meet Sage The Gemini, The Bay Area Rap Scene's Surprise Breakout Star

The “Gas Pedal” rapper might be the first genuine pop-crossover star to come from this tight-knit, influential community. But if he looks like he’s not enjoying the ride, it’s because he’s got a chip on his shoulder the size of Northern California.

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Photograph by Aylin Zafar for BuzzFeed

“Good luck, put some talcum powder on your nuts, and drink some water.” Sage the Gemini, a 21-year-old rapper from Fairfield, Calif., laughs as he reads aloud a text message from his friend IamSu, a fellow Bay Area rapper and producer named Sudan Ahmeer Williams. Su is only three years older than Sage, but he’s become an encouraging, older-brother-type figure in the past couple of years, and the two have recorded, performed, and traveled together as a part of HBK Gang (short for Heartbreak Gang), a crew of rappers, producers, and video directors that Su co-founded.

It’s late October 2013 and Sage — born Dominic Wynn Woods — is getting his hair cut in a greenroom backstage at BET before making his TV debut on 106 & Park. Standing at 6 feet 5 inches, Sage easily towers over most people, but his presence and movements feel more like that of an overgrown kid than anything intimidating. Toned and fit, he has the look of a heartthrob, and girls on social media coo over the jade-hued eyes that gave Sage his stage name. He’s joined in the room by his four dancers — Dmac, Chonkie, Liyah, and Wani — and his DJ, Lucci. Most of them are a bit younger than Sage, but they all grew up together in Fairfield and have been friends since high school.

Sage is the only member of the HBK crew with his own backup dancers — dance has always been an important part of growing up in the Bay, a crucial element of the area’s culture and energy, even if the best-known recent signature moves have come out of the L.A. hip-hop scene, where the “jerk” and “Cat Daddy” dance fads bloomed. But Sage’s two breakout hits, “Gas Pedal” and “Red Nose,” and their accompanying dances have resurrected dance in the Bay thanks to people uploading videos of their own routines to YouTube and Vine.

Seated around a TV screen in the BET greenroom, Sage’s crew watches his DJ Lucci check lighting and sound onstage. Lucci dances alone, turning side to side, his arms drumming up and down, like Sage does in the “Gas Pedal” video. Lucci’s hair is long, curly, and half-braided, and he’s unaware that his friends are watching him. “He just came out of the womb dancing!” Sage laughs. “The doctor ain’t even cut the umbilical cord, he’s already got it, swinging!” He jumps up and simulates coming out of the womb while dancing.

With his day-one friends, Sage is at ease — but he regularly alludes to a time when he was less comfortable and less accepted. “They used to call me Lil Bow Wow’s little brother when I was younger,” Sage tells his manager, Stretch, referring to the ‘00s kid rapper now known just as Bow Wow, and one of 106 & Park’s hosts. “Because I was light-skinned and my nose didn’t really fit my face. It was hecka funny because now those same people are gonna be watching and be like, ‘What the fuck?’”

Public appearances with famous people will be the norm for him over the next couple of months. He signed a major-label deal with Republic Records last summer, and since, his schedule has been filled with promo appearances at radio stations, tour dates with HBK, and performances at high schools, all pointing toward the March release of his debut album, Remember Me.

After a quick rehearsal, the group performs two songs during the show’s live taping: “Gas Pedal” — the single that caught Republic’s attention and has gone platinum since the label signed Sage, with almost 45 million views on YouTube. Justin Bieber even hopped on the official remix of the song for the album. His second hit, “Red Nose,” has been certified gold.

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Photograph by Aylin Zafar for BuzzFeed

After the performance, Bow Wow interviews Sage. He’s more self-deprecating than you might expect for a budding star, pointing out that he’s not “really rapping” seriously on “Red Nose.” “That’s just catchy stuff,” he says. He’s reluctant to step into the playboy role expected of good-looking, famous twentysomethings, but he’s also a confident romantic, telling Bow Wow that he’s ready to get married. “I been through a whole lot, and I don’t wanna just be runnin’ around on Twitter like, ‘Hey… come backstage,’ you know? I’ve been a loverboy since the seventh grade,” Sage tells Bow Wow.

Later, the crowd goes wild as Dmac teaches Bow Wow the “Gas Pedal” dance — a variation on the J12, a dance made up by a 19-year-old from Oakland, and which was popularized around the Bay Area by dance videos soundtracked by local rapper Clyde Carson’s song “Slow Down.” “Ahh, that was so cool!” one of the dancers, Wani, says as the crew leaves BET’s studio. As everyone else celebrates, Sage walks ahead, scrolling through Twitter on his phone. He says he wishes a few things were slightly different with his performance, but overall he’s happy.

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Photograph by Aylin Zafar for BuzzFeed

In early January, Sage, IamSu, and the rest of the HBK Gang take photos for a magazine feature story in the Berkeley Hills. That evening, after the HBK guys have gone home, Sage is sitting with his younger cousin Jodie and a handful of childhood friends at a Popeyes in Berkeley, everyone giggling as Sage walks back and forth across the restaurant, filling its small space with his long-limbed dancing. He does voices: impressions of friends, a wheezy Donald Duck. Later, pausing their conversation mid-sentence without skipping a beat, they tell an older woman she’s “very pretty” as she’s leaving. She’s flattered. Sage is charismatic, charming, and sweet, without it ever feeling over-the-top or disingenuous. He’s quick to compliment people, and he looks them straight in the eyes, earnestly, while he does it.

By having his first two singles sell really well, securing a nice major-label deal, and quickly recording an album that hasn’t been shelved, Sage flouts prevailing notions about what a rapper from the Bay Area can do. The region has long operated in its own kind of bubble, at the margins of the national hip-hop conversation. In the 1990s, “when people thought of ‘West Coast music,’ they’d think of L.A.,” says Sage’s manager Stretch. The Bay has produced a handful of nationally recognized acts over time, like the imaginative linguistic stylist E-40 and pimp-rap pioneer Too Short. More recently, labels flocked to the Bay in the mid ‘00s, signing acts like The Team and The Federation, who were associated with what was locally known as the hyphy movement.

None of those acts found enduring nationwide success, but you can still regularly hear hyphy-era tracks from Keak Da Sneak and E-40 on the radio in the Bay, where classics never go out of style and local tastes still rule the airwaves. “The Bay just marches to its own drum,” IamSu tells me on the phone in March. And, if uncredited, the influence of the Bay’s minimal, slapping production can be heard in today’s prevailing West Coast sound, the simple keyboard-plink productions of L.A.’s DJ Mustard. “That hyphy movement woke L.A. up,” E-40 tells me in December. But on the national scale it was always hard to get people to care. “We just get looked over [in the Bay].”

“Bay music has a lot more funk in it,” IamSu says. “It’s a lot looser … The whole movement is more expressive.” But if mid-2000s hyphy could sometimes veer goofy in its funkiness, Sage’s music is slick. He delivers his verses in a deadpan drawl and in a soft-spoken near-whisper. “Gas Pedal” is light and fun, but not at the expense of sounding sexy.

Clyde Carson, a former member of The Team whose 2012 Bay hit “Slow Down” inspired “Gas Pedal,” says that he immediately recognized a star quality in Sage — the kind that gives him a shot to break out of the Bay’s insular community. “I’m always hearing songs that kind of emulated our sound,” Carson tells me. “But it was something ‘bout him that I was like, this kid is … [With] this kid it might not just be the ‘Gas Pedal.’” Carson says Sage has a charisma that’s hard to come by for most artists. “His personality is big. I always tell him, ‘You have to go into acting and all that shit, man.’ I’m like, ‘Don’t waste that personality. Get your ass on TV and get all the money you can get.’”

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Courtesy of Sage the Gemini / Via instagram.com

Born in Hunter’s Point, San Francisco, Sage moved with his family to Fairfield in the North Bay when he was 7. “Everybody moved out because either we would’ve been dopeheads, dead, or in jail,” Sage told radio personality Sway last fall. In the suburbs, he found outlets for his showboat personality. In middle and high school, he recorded songs on his computer with a cheap plug-in microphone, acted in school and traveling stage plays, and made comedy videos that he posted to his own YouTube channel. “I would post a funny video, then another funny video, then a song. Then a funny video, then a song,” Sage says.

In high school, Sage and his little brother mowed lawns and cleaned garages to earn money to buy recording equipment, a detail he brings up on “Put Me On,” a song from Remember Me that’s dedicated to the naysayers in his hometown:

“I’m from Fairfield and n****s still mug me the hardest / Just because I can’t help you n****s be artists? / And got the nerve to tell me, ‘Don’t forget where I started’? / I know where I started / N***a, that’s the problem / Tryna buy equipment where money was the problem / I can outsmart ‘em / Me and my brother Cadence / Both 13, tryna clean n****s’ places / Just to buy a first microphone at Gordon’s.”

Fairfield is actually pretty remote; in the northeast corner of the Bay Area, up past Vallejo, it’s far from the center of the Bay’s rap scene. Sage grew up watching young crews of Bay rappers like The Team, whose 2004 single “It’s Gettin Hot” was a regional smash, and The Pack, the Berkeley crew of skater hippies from which enigmatic rapper Lil B emerged. Tucked away in Fairfield, watching other people rap like it was a team sport, he felt isolated and alone.

“People were just rude,” Sage’s cousin Jodie, who grew up acting in school and regional plays with Sage and learning about poetry from him, tells me in Berkeley in January. “They always had nice clothes and always had cars and money. We didn’t always have all of that. [We] couldn’t fit in with everybody.”

Sage was good-looking enough to model, even appearing in underwear campaigns. (He wouldn’t reveal what brands, but when I throw out Calvin Klein and Hanes, he says I’m “not far off.”) He remembers feeling ugly, and it seems he returns to this well of teenage frustration often, to propel himself. “Girls didn’t like me in school,” he says. “I didn’t have nice clothes.”

On Remember Me’s title track, he directs a taunting refrain at anyone who teased him: “Fuck the cool crowd, bitch, I’m a nerd.” And later: “They used to treat a n***a like a stepchild / I felt like that white dude on 8 Mile.” That Sage compares himself to Eminem doesn’t come off like a throwaway joke. Like Em, he dropped out of high school to focus solely on music, and now sees rap as a means to annihilate his opponents and prove doubters wrong. It seems that Sage wants to release a successful album, at least in part, to seek validation from the popular kids who brushed past him and the girls who dismissed him.

In 2012, after “Gas Pedal” started picking up steam in the Bay Area, Sage posted a video of thanks to his supporters on his YouTube channel. Sitting in the same bedroom where he recorded many of his comedy videos, shirtless, he dispensed some advice to young people looking to try to make it in rap. “For those who know me, you know my real name is Dominic Woods. I went to Clearwood, Dover, Fairfield High, and Rodriguez. If you was there with me, you would know a lot of people wasn’t with me,” he says earnestly into the camera. “If you’re out there and you want to rap and a lot of people isn’t with you, let ‘em go. Because take it from me, I got passed up by all the girls, all the n****s laughed at me when I wanted to get a collab and stuff — but we’re not here to talk about that, it’s all positivity.”

Now many of the naysayers who ignored Sage previously have emerged from the woodwork, as often happens at the dawn of someone’s success, asking for favors. On “Put Me On” from Remember Me, Sage raps about the pressure he feels from people who feel entitled to a piece of his success: “I can’t help you if I’m tryna help myself / Get off my chest, I can’t invest with no wealth / Like I said, most of y’all wasn’t there when I started / Might’ve ‘made it’ on paper / But I’m still ‘new artist.’”

Jodie says Sage wants people to work hard for themselves, not even giving Jodie, who’s pursuing an R&B career, a free handout to jump on his songs without first working for it. “They feel a certain type of way because he’s not saying, ‘Oh, yeah, let me put you on my song and help you get up there,’” Jodie explains. “But he did that to me, and I’m his own family. Because nobody gave him what he had,” Jodie says. (Sage later tells me that he’s kicked Jodie out of his house in an effort to motivate him. “He started getting too comfortable,” he says. “Eventually he can come back, but I want him to realize he needs to work for it.”)

Sage has been working at his music for years, and he fits right into HBK’s energetic group dynamic, but he’s still the new guy, and his popularity is a recent phenomenon. “He came up so fast, it’s crazy,” IamSu tells me later. “He was going through hella shit that took me years to find out, [and he went through it] in 10 months.”

“For [Sage] to be higher up than anyone in the Bay Area in such a short amount of time so quickly, it’s just amazing,” Jodie says, while stealing a French fry from Sage at Popeyes.

“I’m not bigger than Su, though,” Sage interrupts, shaking his head. That’s debatable — Su brought together HBK Gang and has landed several songs on the radio, but, on his own, he’s never released a single as successful as “Gas Pedal.” Still Sage sees him as his idol and biggest influence, even saying later that he still gets nervous around him.

So does Sage just not want to jinx it? He shakes his head again, looking down at the table: “I’m not bigger than Su.”

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Photograph by Aylin Zafar for BuzzFeed

Both Sage and Su have set themselves up to be big because they’re producers as well as rappers, according to Stretch, who’s been deeply entrenched in the Bay rap scene for well over a decade, most notably managing the late Bay legend hyphy icon, Mac Dre, in addition to acts like Mistah F.A.B. and Kreayshawn. “Hip-hop is moved by producers, and if you don’t have an identifying producer or an identifying sound, it’s not gonna work,” he says. “The problem you had before with the Bay Area was there were no set producers. Sage is a producer. Su’s a producer. They want to have more input and they helped shape the sound that we have today. It’s coming from a different place than just rapping on someone else’s beats.”

Sage and Su’s sound cherry-picks from mob music (the throbbing, slower sound that preceded hyphy in the Bay), hyphy’s up-tempo joyousness, and jerk music, the dance-driven L.A. sound that came after hyphy. And as Clyde Carson distinguishes it, Sage and Su’s sound has all the fun of hyphy’s original iteration, but none of its ties to violence. Sage seems to live by that philosophy. He doesn’t drink, smoke, or do drugs, and he semi-jokingly calls himself a “safe thug.” He frequently talks about making music that will keep kids more interested in dancing than in handling guns. He was raised in the church and around women, he says, and it shows. He doesn’t allow girls backstage and has an almost old-fashioned, courtship-centric approach to relationships. In March, he told DJ Vlad that Kaylin Garcia, a model, dancer, and former cast member of Love and Hip-Hop, was his current love interest, but in subsequent radio interviews he’s revealed that they’ve met in person only recently. He tells me that the most special someone in his life is his daughter, Lai’lah, who’s 3.

Sage is betting that his underdog story and his update on the sounds of the Bay can appeal universally. But that mission comes with its own pressure. On the “Gas Pedal” remix featuring Justin Bieber, Sage hints at the weight placed on his shoulders: “It’s going up / No explaining the escalator / I’m tryna keep this alive / the Bay’s respirator.” And though Sage says that Republic hasn’t put any pressure on how his music is supposed to sound, the major label game still has rules: “It’s numbers. At the end of the day they want hits,” IamSu says. And Sage has a unique sense of just what in the Bay sound will resonate on a larger scale, he adds. He knows hits. “The kind of artist Sage is, he’s a superstar.”

Republic’s West Coast A&R Naim McNair, who signed acts like E-40, Clyde Carson, and The Federation to major labels years ago, signed Sage last year while scouting for new talent in the Bay. He says that the new generation may be laying a more lasting foundation than the prior hyphy movement. “I think other things come and go, but the kids from the Bay have definitely built a foundation in California that will last for a long time,” he says. “And there’s a lot of unity now.”

Yet there’s a natural star quality that his previous signees may not quite have had. “We definitely see him as someone who’s gonna push the needle, at this point he can do anything he wants. If he worked at it, he could play for the 49ers.” All that confidence, McNair says, stems from the years of hard work Sage endured in the isolation of his bedroom, and even still today. “He’s probably one of the most disciplined artists I’ve ever worked with.”

For as playful as he is in person, Sage is also his own harshest critic. With Remember Me, he tries to show he’s got the skill to stay in the game for more than two hits. “I’ll actually be rapping on [the album] instead of saying ‘spoon’ and ‘fork’ and ‘red nose.’ That catchy stuff that caught people’s attention; it’s like one of those things you have to do to break the atmosphere and get out into space.” But as much as he believes in his music, he’s still nervous and hesitant to boast or declare his album a success. He’s hesitant to make any assumptions about how his album will be received — or how he even feels about all of it — before there is a way to quantify its success. “I’ll see how the turnout is and then go from there.”

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Photograph by Macey Foronda for BuzzFeed

It’s Tuesday, March 25, the day of Remember Me’s release, and Sage is hanging out in the BuzzFeed’s New York headquarters — geeking out over seeing Law & Order star Christopher Meloni (who’s dropped by the office for an interview) and joking around with the life-size cutouts of celebrities around the office. He’s tired, though. It’s been a long day of promotional appearances and interviews and there’s more to go — a cycle that even seasoned veterans can struggle through, but is a true test for those new to the big-time. “It’s whatever,” he says. “I’ll be happy when I hit number one or I’m winning awards.” For Sage, there needs to be a clear metric to define just what that success looks like — haters can hate, but numbers can’t lie, and he made this album for the critics back home.

After taping a performance for David Letterman with IamSu, Sage zonks out in his hotel room. The last thing he wants to do is go out to a club, but there’s an album release party at trendy Meatpacking District spot 1 Oak that was arranged and put on his schedule. He’s performing two songs and there’s no way out of it.

1 Oak is bustling with groups of drunk out-of-towners, 19-year-old-looking city kids celebrating birthdays, and fashion models clad in skintight dresses and heels. A quick survey of the room reveals that no one is really there for the release party, nor do they know who Sage the Gemini is (at least not by name — they seem to recognize his songs later in the night). Robin Thicke bounds into the club with some young twentysomethings to join one of the groups near the small DJ stage. Sage shows up to the club around 1:50 a.m. with HBK rapper Kool John, their friend Rex, and Stretch. Kool John’s immediately having a good time, enjoying the drinks and orienting himself in the space, checking out a girl on top of a couch dancing against a wall. The crowd is getting down to a mix of twerk-friendly West Coast hyphy and ratchet songs, and the DJ takes the mic to announce that “Sage the Gemini is IN the buildiiiing!”

Sage, however, is sitting slouched over in the corner, his hoodie pulled over his head, absorbed in his phone. He hasn’t gotten much sleep in the past few days and he’s exhausted, and isn’t interested in talking to anyone. The juxtaposition between the debauchery and fun being had by Robin Thicke and whoever was willing to pay hundreds of dollars for a bottle of vodka and the lone Sage, whom the party was in honor of, is a little puzzling to watch.

Most 21-year-old rappers on the day of their debut would be reveling in all of this — if not the excess, then the spotlight. Sage stands behind the DJ booth on a small stage before he’s about to perform, observing the frenzy in front of him. He’s staring into space, cool and unaffected, and delivers his two hit songs with pitch-perfect tone and agility.

At the end of the set, Robin Thicke grabs a mic and starts chanting Sage’s name to the raucous crowd. Sage bursts into a huge smile, looking bewildered as he pulls out his phone to take a video of one of pop’s biggest stars not only acknowledging him, but giving him props. It’s one of those surreal moments that happen at the beginning of an artist’s career. Sage may not care about the perks and glamour, but he sure as hell cares about who’s paying attention.

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Photograph by Aylin Zafar for BuzzFeed

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/azafar/sage-the-gemini-bay-area-interview

#bay area #hip hop #iamsu

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wordyvegan123 · 7 years

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Pumpkin

He came on strong. Calling and talking to me for hours on end, constant compliments about how smart, and funny and sexy I was..he would do whole skits and play funny characters and make me laugh endlessly... and quickly he started saying I was the kind of person that could make him believe in relationships again.

He agreed with all of my beliefs and loved my voice and wanted to meet. He called me excitedly when his grand niece was born and called every night and sent me sweet texts constantly. Then. Kablooey. He stopped.He disappeared. He got impatient with me when I enquired if he was okay.

This had happened to me once before with a guy who later told me while laughing that he had been told he had borderline personality. That guy ended up stalking me, physically hurting me, making me afraid to do everyday things like go to the gas station or answer the phone... and he still crops up in my life everytime he gets dumped by his next victim. If I hear the old ringtone my cell phone had at that time I feel sick.

So...I saw a red flag. When he called he said he had told me how much time he spends with his friends (almost all female) that he'd missed me, that it was sweet how jealous I was (I wasn't) and how it made him feel loved...and things went back to "normal"....meaning, he felt satiated again and I felt lost and frustrated, wondering why he would withhold himself from me, push me way and then yank me back. He said he planned on visiting me for Valentine's day and I asked for time off work and then he disappeared again. This time he was a little more angry when I asked what was up because I had the gall to be upset at him for changing plans without saying anything at all. He seemed like he had no genuine emotions at all towards me other than annoyance or anger. Looking back I remember him saying that was all he got from me, annoyance and anger. That projection was part of his expertise in emotional blackmail.

Somehow I managed to deal with this push-pull game for another 4 months long distance until we finally met in person. I was very upfront with him about my misgivings, how disingenuous I felt he was, but it seemed as if he took that as a challenge to up his game of charm. He really thrived on the game. It was pretty sizzling chemistry in person, but he did feel numb or distant to me, even in bed I wondered where he was emotionally.He behaved more like a porn star.

When we went to a festival together with a lot of people, he easily got caught up in talking to strangers and would forget I was there. When I'd get bored and walk off to take pictures or go the bathroom or try some kombucha, it took him a good amount of time to even realize I was gone, yet he thought I was "crazy and playing games" and called me a hot mess. I told him it wasn't my job to just stand there and wait for him and he would laugh. I started getting the impression that he had people at his beck and call a lot and being that I had no idea what he did for a living day to day, only a vague idea of what he did in the past, I couldn’t chalk that up to something that might have been related to his work position or career, although my brain did constantly try to figure out where his odd reactions were coming from. That was part of the trap I was falling into...

So the red flags were everywhere at this point, but we live across the country from each other, so I went on with my life with him flitting in and out of it. When he visited after a major surgery, things were pretty okay. He was more accepting than anyone should be about the condition of my home which could have been endearing, but made me suspicious. He knew I didn't let anyone come over and he was so insistent that he be in my space. It was like he was researching me and gathering evidence. Meanwhile he wouldn't even tell me his address and anytime I mentioned it he'd laugh as if I was being silly. All my friends told me he was probably married or had a girlfriend. I told him that and he laughed more. He was at his best on that trip, probably because I was really vulnerable and it made me trust him more.

He visited again a couple months later and this time he was really being himself, annoyed that I didn't want him smoking cigars near me when before he acted like he cared, saying I wanted to change him for behaviors he had hidden all along, picking fights in public and yelling REALLY loudly at me and blaming me for all of it.... then acting like it didn't happen later or joking about "MY" blowout, then calling me a hot mess again and saying he loved me and how perfect we were for each other. He was on the next step of making me question my own reality.

Then we went to Taos for the day and by that night he went into a rage because I asked the bartender if I could bring my chihuahua into the bar if he stayed on my lap. I think he was angry because I asked him to ask them if it was okay... & he had refused for no reason that made any sense to me...I was cold. He gave no explanation. He also didn’t try to cuddle with me to warm me up. He really didn’t like that I went and handled it myself and took it really personally. He was indignant and full on screaming at me in the middle of a bar and I never even rose my voice back. My calmness made him even more enraged. He called me a cunt at least 20 times, probably more that night. He said the only reason people were worried about me at the bar was because I’m white. Obviously I realized I was with a very sick person. I was shaking inside but kept myself calm and attempted to pick him up and drive him back to the air bnb but he quickly went into a rage again and I screamed at him to get out of the car. I blew up and tried to push him out when he refused. I left him there and I probably should have made that permanent.

Yet, since he was thousands of miles from home I drove back to get him at the hotel the next morning and he was ALL about how mean I had been to him, how scared he had been and it truly sounded as if he had completely blocked out what he did. Mainly, for my own safety I went along with it, but now I was observing him from outside myself, like one does in a dream. He left for the airport and the whole ridiculous dance continued long-distance, but I cared less and less when he disappeared. His funny skits got repetitive. His memory was terrible and I was always catching him in inconsistencies and then he'd just laugh it off. He kept saying he'd visit and months and months went by. I'd tell him we should just stop talking, because it was all meaningless and fake and then he'd start talking about visiting again. I’d say I deserved better and he’d say no one deserved more than me.

I realized he could stay in this state of fake relationship forever. He seemed happy in that place while I was fractured emotionally and starting to lose my groundedness in my real life. Problem being, if I stopped talking to him he went crazy without his supply, my emotions, anger or hurt, or anything was his fuel. He constantly called me his muse as if it was a compliment, but he was admitting that his only need from me was the emotional feed to his ego.

When I blocked him on Facebook he lost it and especially when I blocked one of his fake accounts he uses to spy on people. I blocked his phone number and he started emailing, something he never did, probably because he didn’t like a written record of anything? I unblocked his number after a few weeks and he called and he sounded elated. He missed me! He LOVES me! Calling me pumpkin constantly because my parents called me that and he knew it worked, but now it just triggers anxiety and anger. He kept talking about this fantasy future, moving here, what could he do to get me back (other than therapy),blah blah blah.

Then, boom, I lost my phone and I asked if he could send me his old one that was sitting in a box, 3 phones ago for him, too old for any of his family to want, and he went into the characteristic narcissistic rage again. I'm living now 6 months without working plumbing because of my financial situation and to him I am being greedy and ungrateful asking him for his old dusty phone. I said, I see you now, I'm done. He wanted to call. I said no.no.no.no.no.

Since then I keep getting texts, many full of rage, followed by "oh, silly becca" i get you, you’re a hot mess and I still love you, “sorry, i’ll get therapy”, then "are you ever going to talk to me again?" This time the answer is no. From what I’ve read of this kind of abuse, the only way to be okay is to leave. Even with therapy the person will still lack empathy and will only learn to imitate the healthy behaviors of human beings. There will never be love. There will never be authenticity or loyalty. When someone says they are broken, believe them.

#no contact #its bean real #narcissistic abuse #npd

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onceyougoexo-blog · 7 years

Text

Summer Lovin’

Chapter 1

Supposed To Be

Eunji sat across the table from Jihoon, looking down at her hands. The soft hum of other conversations in the coffeeshop filled the silence between the two, who sat in a little corner out of the way.

“Happy Birthday,” Jihoon started. Eunji looked up to see him smiling sheepishly. She laughed a little hesitantly.

“It’s not even my birthday yet,” Eunji tried to smile and fidgeted with the frayed hem of her sweater sleeve.

Jihoon leaned a little closer, hands clasped on the table.

“Yeah, but I wanted to give you this before break started.” He unfolded his hands to reveal a little package. The small rectangle was carefully and neatly wrapped, complete with a festive red bow stuck on the top left corner. “It’s for you,” Jihoon said quietly. He leaned back in his chair a little too quickly to pass as relaxed and looked at her expectantly, hopefully.

Oh no.

Her heart felt like it was compressing into itself, the weight of his heavy expectations and her dread of what was to follow slowly pushed down on her chest until it started to hurt. The reason Eunji had asked Jihoon, her boyfriend of three months, to meet her today was to end their short relationship. And here he was, effectively shattering all the resolve she had tried so hard to work up in one single move. Of all the different scenarios of the breakup that Eunji had pictured in her head, one where Jihoon would get her a nice little gift all wrapped up in red and gold was not one of them.

The two went to school together. Although they seemed like an ideal match as two of the top students at their school, any time they spent together alone were too painfully awkward to make dating a real possibility.

So, Eunji thought it best they terminate the relationship.

Jihoon apparently thought otherwise.

“Jihoon-” Eunji tried to start the speech that she had practiced in the car.

“Yeah?” Jihoon looked at her, puzzled. Eunji felt constipated.

“Uh,” Eunji faltered. “Jihoon. This can’t work.”

Jihoon looked confused. “Uh, but you haven’t even opened the present…” He rubbed his jaw. “I think you might like it.” He chuckled nervously.

“No, no! Thank you so much for the present but… I meant us.” Eunji inwardly cringed at how cliched and disingenuous those words sounded stumbling roughly off her lips.

He was quiet.

“Oh.”

“I’m so sorry.” Eunji felt like running out of the coffeeshop. She grabbed onto the seat of her chair, as if she expected her body to bolt out of there without her permission.

“Uh. Can I ask why?” Jihoon met her eyes plaintively, anxiously palming the hot chocolate in front of him.

“It’s just… we’re so different and I feel like you deserve better.” Eunji blurted out. Their breakup was turning out to be just as awkward and empty as their short-lived relationship. Or maybe all breakups were like that, Eunji wouldn’t know as this was her first.

“What? No, I… ” Jihoon looked confused. “I thought we were doing great.”

Eunji sighed and looked down at her latte.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Jihoon.

“Thank you so much for the present but…” She gently pushed the package towards Jihoon. “I’m sorry.”

He was quiet.

“I’m gonna go, okay?” Eunji awkwardly struggled her way out of the corner that her chair was stuffed in, almost knocking over her latte in the process. As soon as she escaped from the stubborn chair, she rushed out of the coffee shop as fast as she could without breaking into a sprint.

Eunji slammed her car door and slumped against the cool leather of her seat.

“Thank God that’s over.” She covered her face in her hands and breathed out slowly.

In. Out.

Truthfully, she had only stayed for Jihoon for three long agonizing months because she felt like she kinda had to. Her justifications for dating him sounded empty even in her head, but it was hard to find a solid reason to break up with him. There was really no reason to start this pointless relationship, but once she was locked in, she couldn’t find a reason to end it either. So, after weeks of back and forth, she decided that she was wasting her time.

She couldn’t help but feel cheated out of the perfect first relationship she’d always envisioned. It was supposed to be all fluttering hearts and cheesy one-liners, shy looks and whispered promises. A first boyfriend was supposed to mean something, wasn’t it?

Eunji always got caught up in the supposed-to-be’s.

If she really had to pinpoint the reason she even considered dating Jihoon, she would say it was because a lot of their friends had been expecting them to for a while. Eunji was very easily influenced by expectations. In the deep subconscious of Eunji’s mind, there existed very clear supposed-to-be rules that delineated every social interaction and relationship. They were always there, nagging at her in every whenever she talked to a teacher, whenever she received a compliment, whenever she met someone new.

You’re supposed to do this.

You’re supposed to be this.

Sometimes she couldn’t distinguish her own thoughts from the voices of those pesky supposed-to-be’s.

And that’s why she wasn’t so sure about the intensive music camp she had signed up for a couple months ago. Her voice teacher, choir director and recording supervisor had all enthusiastically recommended her to the prestigious Intermony Center of Performing Arts for the Modern Voice track, so she had felt like she should do it. It would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience to work with the top talents from around the nation, and it could turn out to be pretty fun. Although the whopping $5,000 tuition package worried her, her school, the Nova Performing Arts High School, had generously offered to cover her full scholarship for camp. So now she really felt like she had to go.

Now, this “music camp” was nothing like those those cheesy “Camp Rock” types you see on T.V., where cute guys and cute girls be-bop all over the forest having a grand old time. This was real shit. There was a highly competitive application and audition process that each camper had to pass. And once you were in, you had to receive passing performance grades, or you were sent home with no refund on your payment.

When Eunji read that tidbit on the camp’s website, she gulped. Money was no joking matter to Eunji, as her family never had enough of it. As the daughter of blue-collar parents, Eunji was used to working summer jobs and buying most stuff herself. But she still considered herself spoiled in everything but money. Her parents raised her and her younger brother with constant love and affection, and she knew that she had lucked out with parents who supported her dream of becoming a musician. However, she knew not to ask for or expect any luxuries when it came to clothes, electronics, etc.

This camp was one huge luxury. From the beautiful castle-like buildings on campus to the majestic pine forests that enclosed the pristine grounds, everything about this camp looked foreign to Eunji. She had seen all the pictures on the website, and she couldn’t help but feel that she wouldn’t belong. But since the school was paying her tuition, Eunji felt she had no choice but to go with a grateful heart.

And so, two weeks later, with the guilt of the breakup still in the back of her mind, she got on the coach bus that would take her the 200 miles to Intermony.

#fanfics #exo #fluff #chanyeol #chanyeol x oc #ot12

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class301-blog · 7 years

Photo

NEW SUSPECT.

KIM NAJUNG is the #02 on the class 301 rollcall list. born on march 22nd, 1999. links up with the brunch bunch ( cinnamon ) and the mystery gang ( the journalist ). voted most likely to murder park jisoo? let’s run by the evidence.

THE PRECEDENTS.

THE COLLECTED INFORMATION ON THE SUSPECT.

warning; contains mentions of suicide attempt and recreational drug use.

i. her family comes from incheon, but najung was born and raised in jinhae. a quintessential suburban girl, she lives in a quaint little house midtown, one of the best living conditions a couple of successful doctors can afford. she’s a single child, and her life was meticulously planned even ahead of her conception. planning and scheduling, incidentally, remain a theme for the remainder of her life. they live under surgical precision, not a step betraying the minuncious calculations expected of them. everything is in perfect cohesion, because everything is designed that way.

ii. although, much to her dismay, she isn’t the very brightest of her class, najung always ranks among the top 5 in her class, and she certainly gives the other smart kids a run for their money. it’s not like she has a choice – with parents as overbearing as hers, she is often too terrified not to give it her all in studies. their idea of character building involves a particularly machiavellian parenting style that grinds down on najung’s nerves until they’re pulp, and her skin has run thin enough to tear at a single bruise. najung is the girl that compares notes and cries over any score below 80%, a habit everyone finds exhaustingly obnoxious. but she’s the only one who has to endure.

iii. academics are not her only intellectual endeavors, her parents (correctly) argue that would hardly make for an impressive curriculum. she has played the flute for ten years of her life, managed to get dominance of the instrument before the age of fifteen, not that it matters (her mother was an agile player by her seventeenth birthday; it matters). volunteer work at the hospital came as a no brainer, since the age of 15 – what better way of learning her way around the profession?

iv. they’re doctors, they know what to do. she doesn’t doubt them. their methods are unorthodox, but hardly frowned upon. her aunts are always telling her mom so much pressure is bound to make poor najung tick, the criticism infallibly countered by a sympathetic compliment on the girl’s record and accomplishments, an underlying idea indicating perhaps there’s credit to their method. an idea she finds hard to entertain, but even more painful to completely dismiss. and so she copes by silencing, conforming.

v. najung, shockingly, isn’t completely insane. despite the pressure of folding herself in ten to appease her parents’ ambitions and their schedule, she finds the mental focus to play girl next door. of course, that’s just another of their expectations. officially, she’s well liked around school – an inoffensive teacher’s pet and active role in the school paper, polite and sweet. such a good record attracts as much sympathy as it does animosity, though. she’s hardly what you could call universally popular, with many of her peers finding her reputation either dull or disingenuous. they’re far from discreet about it too, as najung has learned over the years.

vi. she isn’t completely insane. she’s been questioning it, between flute practice and another evening locked away between four walls and her thirty pages of homework. it’s hard not to take a second guess, when she’s pulling out a pack of cigarettes from the stash below her bedside table and climbing out the window of her room as quietly as possible not to disturb the dead silence of the night, leaving behind a lump of pillows in her bed. she trades half of it for booze and a joint because she’s all out of her allowance for the month, and it’s worth it when she’s relaxed and the smile won’t leave her face. but then she’s home again and scrubbing the smoke off her hair with practiced ease, and the fog from the hot shower yanks her down in a crash, and it’s hard not to wonder if there aren’t a couple of loose screws tingling around in there as the misery washes away with sprinkling stream. she’s entitled to secrets, too, she thinks. still waters run deep, she thinks. mostly, she thinks of sunlight beams filtered into warm baths.

vii. it was the summer of 2012. the world was smaller, easier for her to wrap her puerile mind around it. it was intimidating, cold and cruel. she’s grounded for the summer break, and her only company are books. for thirty seven days, she lives in a world of no sound or people. books, diaries, pages and ink are all she knows. the idea came from between the pages, like a dream so lucid she couldn’t tell when she had woken up. it happened in a seamless stream of continuity, between rays of light pouring from the rectangular window on the top of the bathroom, where specks of dust twirled like thousands of little fairies, and the walls of a bathtub too large for her frame. when the waters stilled over, turning warm and pink all around her, she felt the razor sink into the tub and dig into her thigh. her life had only started to gush out of her wrists when she is found. they were doctors, they knew what to do. she fell into deep sleep before her mother’s trembling arms pulled her from the liquid dream. ( she hardly talks about it. her father once had commented she seemed to have suppressed the memories after recovery. for a change, he is wrong. )

viii. error is not an option. najung wasn’t brought up religious, her understanding of spiritual believe is immature, but a lifetime of exploration in books equips najung to risk a theory: miscalculations are mortal sins inside her family. their answer is methodical rather than passionate, though. mistakes are never addressed, but always inoculated. the anomaly at the nest had triggered symptoms, and they already run deep. her house is rather empty these days. she doesn’t remember her parents holding a conversation for over five minutes in a couple of years, but recently even staying under the same roof seems intolerable. they had always traveled around, ever since she was young; there had always been full day duties, calls, researches, but there was always a moment for home. neither of them admits it, delving themselves further into work so they don’t need to meet eye to eye. najung stands between crossed fire, a victim of a neutralized that likely won’t find means to heal.

ix. najung fantasizes about college.

x. it used to be harder, before she was reunited with them. she trusted less. she was often surrounded, but rarely accompanied. even fun felt like a chore, with tracks to cover and faces to avoid, and the constant sense of dread gripping her by the shoulders. they lift away a portion of her exhaustion, and replace it with a sensation of belonging she doesn’t often get to experience first hand.

THE ALIBI.

THIS ACCOUNT IS CONSIDERED DUBIOUS.

Her mouth is all cotton as she’s seated in the sheriff’s office, her lids covering her eyes like sandpaper. She swims between metaphors and paradoxes, lets herself wash down to reality – the dim lights in the wooden furnished room, formal, official.

The sheriff is eyeing her with a sympathetic smile, hands on his knees like he doesn’t know where to put them. The caress of her father’s hand on her shoulder is an immense comfort, and it feels cold when he leaves, a kiss to her temple being her last figment of consolation before she’s on her own to testify.

To testify on Jisoo’s murder.

“We saw him, we were with him.” Each contained move of her mouth strains the paths of dried tears, sea salt leaving a permanent sting in her eyes She dabs the crumpled piece of tissue on the red tip of her nose, sucking on her lower lip to steady her voice. “Me and a couple friends. We were just hanging out on the, that day,” her voice stammers gently on the word, a small pause following it, “and then he left early.”

The memory seems dormant, though it is far from distant. It was all so ordinary, so remarkably unexceptional as she recollects it that it’s impossible to accept that is how she remembers seeing Jisoo for the last time. She hadn’t taken a good look at him, she hadn’t touched him, she hadn’t said she would miss him. Just another day, taken for granted.

“I said it was a bit too sudden, but he was gone before I could ask anything else. That was the last time I saw him.” She remembers his retreating back, the color of his jacket and the hurried skip of his steps. She remembers finding that odd. “He seemed nervous those last days, a bit on edge? I asked, before, if there was something wrong. I thought it was something to do with the team, or maybe a problem with his girlfriend, but he never told me anything.”

The sheriff nods, seems to pause for a second to look through his notes. Najung wraps her arms around herself, eyes lowering to her feet. She pictures home, her bed, her quiet little life – she pictures her routine before all of this, and something in her gut wrenches, taut.

When he asks her where she was in the moment of the murder, she feels strange. Her mind wanders though flashing pieces of facts lying in her conscience. Her father, sitting outside the office, waiting to pick her up. The window of her room, hanging open in the night. The cigarette pressed tight against her lips, not enough of a shield against the chilly night breeze, still in the process of shedding the ice from winter. “I was home. It was a school night.” Can anyone verify this? “My mother is out of town, but my father was there, he can confirm it. We had dinner when he got back from the hospital at 8:30, then we went to bed a couple of hours after that.”

She looks at him with furrowed brows, shoulders shrugging. The need to tell crawls in her gut, but the want for silence ties a knot in her throat. “I’m afraid there isn’t much else to add.”

THE TESTIMONIAL.

THE SUSPECT’S THOUGHTS ON JINHAE HIGH.

Najung frankly doesn’t pay the school’s social life much mind – she has nothing essentially negative or positive to say about it, other than the fact it exists. That doesn’t come from a place of rebellion or an augmented perception of self worth, or anything spectacular like that. That is a result of sheer privilege. She doesn’t understand what it means to struggle to fit in, or what holding power in the social ladder means for people who crave that control. Being the role model means never having to fight for a spot among the cliques, because lasting two seconds without a crop of people willing to call themselves her friends was never an experience in Najung’s book. Before the brunch bunch, there were the good students. And before the good students, there were the popular girls. And even before them, there was whoever Najung walked up to with a firm handshake and a smile grazing her bottom lip. Because the true unfairness of the world is that some fit in, and others have everyone else fit around them, and Najung doesn’t know it, but she’s one of the latter.

#301: file #cc: the brunch bunch #sc: the mystery gang

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