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readingsbylibramc · 4 years

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birth chart reading for @makingboyscry

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. the moon has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around understanding your feelings and emotional growth. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your family, career life and also your communication and thinking style.

your dominant planets are saturn, uranus and the moon. you are highly motivated, you have defined goals and big dreams in your life, and you strive to achieve them. you're hard-working and dedicated, but you don't lack feelings either. in fact, you're probably very emotional and empathetic too.

your dominant sign is aquarius. you're eccentric and rebel, you don't like being told what to do. you're very considerate of others, as you focus more on the development of a group rather than your persona. that's because you want the people you frequent to be as open-minded as you are. aquarius people are capable of elaborating different ideas in a short amount of time; hence, you either overwork yourself, or you're not able to keep up with all your ideas, leaving projects unfinished.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in cancer, 24° / 3rd decan ruled by the moon and neptune

with your ascendant in the sign of cancer, you appear way more sweet and approachable than your aquarius sun, which is obviously very beneficial for you. being a water sign, cancer risings individuals are very intuitive and emotional, and that is exactly how you approach the world. you rely more on your 6th sense rather than logic, and mixed with your libra moon you're extremely considerate of others. you probably don't relate much to aquarius stereotypes, because while your sun is more cold, the rest of your chart is extremely sensitive. you can read people's mood very well, it's easy for you to understand whether someone is sad, angry, happy... because of that, you always try to make people feel at ease, you're always kind with people, and that makes you extremely likeable. also, since cancer is ruled by the moon, you're probably a very genuine person. it's hard for you to hide your real emotions, and even if you wanted to hide them you wouldn't be capable. you could also have frequent mood swings. you have a strong sense of family and comfort to you, and hence it's extremely essential for you feel at ease to truly be yourself. let's suppose you're with a group of friends, and they suddenly bring someone with them that isn't very nice; you would probably get very stiff, and your mood would immediately go down. you also tend to be like a mother / sister to others, you hardly ever have superficial bonds. physically, since cancer is ruled by the moon you may have very round and big features to you; you could have big, watery and round eyes with perfect lashes, a button nose, plump lips... but in your case, there's still something very sharp about your apperance, like a jawline, cheekbones, or even your nose. in addition, you may be averag or tall height, and you could bloat easily. you may also have long limbs.

cancer ascendant square libra moon: you may have troubles understanding others’ real feelings for you. you may feel as if everyone hates you, like everyone is talking behind your back when it’s the opposite. you’re particularly sensitive about others’ view and opinion of you, you may get deeply hurt when people criticize you. you could have the tendency to act differently than you usually do, in order to preserve your feelings. this is obviously a toxic behaviour, that fills you up with your own stress and doubles it. due to that, you may become very moody and nervous, ending up hurting others yourself. or maybe, it’s the other way around; your feelings are so overwhelming that you can’t hide them, and that could put you in embarrassing, unpleasant situations. you may show all of your emotions on your face, ready to be read, therefore you end up feeling ashamed of your own emotions. the way to cope with this placement is finding someone similiar to you; someone who’s trust-worthy, and very sensitive and empathetic too. someone who’d never judge you for you think or say, and that would always help you becoming the best version of yourself. someone that understands you, without having to explain all of your behaviours and habits.

cancer ascendant square aries jupiter: you probably learn a lot from people around you. you're most likely surrounded by wise, spiritual and possibly foreign individuals in your life. they help you to grow up, both spiritually and mentally. this placement also softens your rough aquarius image, making you look more outgoing and approachable. you're also very open-minded, and you rarely have prejudices. the downside to this placement is that you may be depend too much from your friends or lovers, especially when it comes to your beliefs. you're easy to influence, and you may change your mind often if others disagree with you. you could possibly have high expectations from others, creating a false idea of those who surround you. at least, you're aware of your abilities and you have the potential to make the most out of them, but you're modest about it. you don't come off as bossy, as other jupiter - asc aspects would.

🌞 sun in aquarius, 6° / 1st decan ruled by uranus

this is the most intelligent aquarius decan. even though you may face some insecurities, you’re typically a strong-minded person. you strive for independence, as you focus your existence on your witty intellect. you have the ability to achieve great things, as your mind is literally revolutionary, even though you may struggle to make those projects concrete. another downside to this placement is that you may not give enough importance to your words; you’re brutally honest, and you may often hurt someone with your thoughts. even though you may appreciate it, as you don’t like it when people aren’t straight-forward, you probably don’t realize the effect your words can have on others. you’re also quite stubborn, and you take particular pride about your ideals. you may feel offended when people disagree with you. or maybe, you don’t even say your opinions, because you could be aware of the weight of your words and you don’t want to hurt others, or you’re afraid of being judged. people may define you as cold, but thanks to your cancer rising you seem way more easy-going and approachable.

aquarius sun conjunct aquarius mercury: you express your ego and identity through your words and ideas. you’re very opinionated and you protect strongly your beliefs. after all, you probably came up with your ideals after thinking deeply about them, you were too precise to be wrong. you’re also probably an avid reader, and you could do well in writing yourself, as you’re able to properly convey your ideals with your words. also, your heavy sagittarius dominance makes you naturally good at writing poetry, or even philosophical quotes. your mind is very active, and you feel comfortable letting all your thoughts out. it’s actually a way to relieve stress. you also have a wide vocabulary, and you’re capable of making a formal speech if you have to. you have a memorable way of speaking, as your words are very sharp. it’s hard for you to be ignored for your intellect.

aquarius sun square taurus saturn: during the first years of your life, you were most likely very insecure, and hence you hid your true self in some way. probably, your father or any kind of authoritative figure influenced your growth, making you self-conscious about your looks and abilities. they might've been really strict, or at least critical or overprotective of you. you feel the need to be perfect, or at least to meet others' expectations. you may also care too much about what others think about you. you may be a late bloomer, and you could face some hardships in your relationships, but this gets better with time. this probably manifests in your approach to friendships and relationships, or perhaps even in your career choice or reputation, making you quite awkward. don't worry, though; as you become more aware of yourself and your potential, saturn's lessons won't seem so harsh anymore.

aquarius sun conjunct aquarius neptune: this placement is the #1 reason you're different from other aquarius suns. in fact, neptune makes you way more soft and dreamy. you're an avid daydreamer, you’re amazingly creative and imaginative, and you have the ability to picture your ideas. this is an amazing talent, in fact most artists have neptune placements. the downside to this is that I’ve noticed that you may have the tendency to lie. you don’t do it out of cruelty of course, it’s a sort way to protect their ego. you could want to be seen as bolder than you are, hence you could struggle with identity crisis, especially during your teenage years. you have your own morals and beliefs, but you could feel influenced by others to change yours. luckily, this is something that gets better with time, as you start being more aware of your persona and you start loving yourself. you're most probably a very complex individual; you act differently based on where you are and who you're with. you could be a savage with someone, an introvert with someone else. you may even feel as if there's something wrong with your mind, as you just wish you could be like others. on the other hand, you're extremely compassionate and considerate. you're emotionally intelligent, and this mutability of yours could make you succeed at many different jobs in your life, as it's very easy for you to adapt to and master new things unlike other aquarius individuals.

🌙 moon in libra, 19° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and uranus

the most independent and intelligent libra decan. in life, you strive for equality and fairness. for example, you don’t want to give less than someone else, you would feel guilty about it. at the same time, you don’t want to be the one that gives more either; you’re afraid that people could take advantage of you. therefore, balance is what you find the most pleasant. ironically, you struggle to keep the same balance in yourself, though. you may appear a bit emotionally cold, as you don’t feel comfortable showing your true self due to your secrecy. you come off as kind of analytical, but you’re actually very romantic. you wish the world was just filled with love and peace, and you that you didn’t have to worry about malice or anything of that type. you hate vulgarity, and you try to be as kind as possible with your words, even though you may be too straight-forward and fail at that. even if you’re an introvert, you may know a lot of people. yet, you have troubles actually creating close bonds with others. you basically have more acquaintances than friends, probably. you’re a nice mediator, you know how to get along with others and make others get along.

libra moon opposite aries jupiter: you enjoy making different experiences and living your life to the fullest, making you also a risk-taker. you may lack self-control, especially with your unpredictable aquarius dominance. with this trait you get bored easily, and you may have a reputation for being flaky. you tend to overindulge; you may spend too much money, or even develop eating disorders like binge-eating. at least, you're able to build your life again and have a fresh start, but you risk to get stuck in this cycle. you have the potential to master different talents, but you may struggle to develop them due to this placement. you're a procrastinator, and you find it hard to focus on more things at the same time. you may also attract people with different beliefs and ideas from you, causing you to fall out with them easily. there are also positive sides to this placement, though! you're probably naturally lucky, even though luck may not always be by your side. you have a nice sense of humor, making you more likeable together with your cancer rising.

🗣 mercury in aquarius, 13° / 2nd decan ruled by uranus and

mercury is exalted in the sign of aquarius, so this is definitely a beneficial placement! you have a very distinctive way of thinking and speaking. you don't like being like others, you don't follow trends. you're probably the trendsetter, and you may find confidence and pride in your ideas and opinions. some may even define you weird, but you have very strong beliefs that could actually be helpful for the world. you're quite 'ahead' of others from this point of view, you're able to find beauty in things without being influenced by others. for example, you may follow a fashion trend before it gets viral. you are able to come up with very innovative ways of solving problems, you're extremely creative. you may even be the type to invent your own words, or perhaps you love learning and reading new words, you have a wide vocabulary. you're also probably interested in science and any darker or logical topic, you want to use your words and theories to change something in the world. you want to leave an impact, maybe even help others through your mind. you have a very witty sense of humor, you most likely speak fluent sarcasm and you're also very astute. I would say that the only problem with this placement is that you may come off as a know-it-all, especially considering that aquarius is your dominant sign. you're proud of your intellect, you can't help but show it off, but obviously others may be jealous of you or feel attacked. for your voice, I assume you have a very particular tone, maybe even a nasal voice.

aquarius mercury square taurus saturn: this placement gives you limitations and lessons regarding the way you think and talk. it may be that you’re too shy to approach others and to say what you think, so you just don’t try. otherwise, if you actually take action and try to overcome this problem, you could get into troubles. that’s probably caused by the fact that you don’t really pay attention to your words. you’re quite straight-forward, and due to your aquarius energy you always seem as if you’re up for a fight. you may be particularly pessimistic, or maybe you lack confidence in social interactions due to these problems, which could be possibly caused by your parents, or perhaps interfer in your relationship with your family. in fact, you may argue quite often, and misunderstandings are also common. this is something that gets naturally better with time, but in order for it to happen you need to take action. you may for example start speaking more in school, perhaps you could apply for class president. anything that allows you to challenge your mind and voice, in order to make you gain experiences and become a master at it. many celebrities, once they mastered this hard aspect, got loads of success. you can do that too, you just need to work on it.

❤️ venus in capricorn, 2° / 1st decan ruled by saturn

you seem like the type of person who's not totally into the idea of love and relationships, especially in your early years. you find your individuality way more important, and you feel the need to establish your status in the world. yet, there's still a place in your heart that desires love, but it's quite hidden. maybe, you're actually afraid of falling in love; or perhaps, it's the opposite: you jump into relationships, even if they weren't actually your priority. it may be hard for you to fall for someone, but once you do, you're totally invested in them. you're quite of a traditionalist when it comes to love; you may the type that prefers being courted, rather than court yourself. you're also quite into clichés, and you're looking for a polite and ambitious partner. someone who has a stable job, and is also wealthy. basically, someone that looks (and possibly is) rich and noble. you may also have the tendency to date people that are older than you, and possibly also soulmates from your past lives. in fact, you attract many karmic partners that are here to teach you lessons. your relationships may be quite painful, or at least they're so intense that they are hard to forget. with this placement, it's also recommended to get married after your saturn return, hence after your 28-29 years old, to avoid any kind of challenges.

☄️ mars in pisces, 17° / 2nd decan ruled by neptune and the moon

you go with the flow. regardless having since you have a strong hectic, logical, aquarius dominance in your chart, your pisces mars does the opposite. in fact, you rely a lot on your intuition rather than logic, or in the best case you know how to balance this out. this may make you appear as submissive, sometimes, as if you can’t stand up for yourself. you’re actually a very spiritual person though, who thinks deeply before acting. you’re not impulsive, you’re aware of your actions, but at the same time you’re ready for eventual changes in your schedule/routine. you have no problems improvising, you’re very versatile. the problem is, you may rely so much on your intuition that you don’t take action. you’re the type to fantasize about being a better person, rather than trying to become one. you may also have the tendency to be passive-aggressive and avoid problems; you may prefer being cold to someone rather than trying to work your argument out.

pisces mars square sagittarius pluto: with this placement, I assume that when you were younger you were some sort of victim. you could have been bullied, for example, you used to be insecure about the way you looked and were. you could have felt different from others, and they took advantage of that to make you feel even more insecure. or maybe, it was a parent, or any authoritative figure in your life, that restricted you from following your own ideals. because of that, now you constantly feel the need to prove yourself. you probably tend to accumulate a lot of anger all together, which you need to let all out or you could explode. you could find comfort in physical ways to relieve stress, like punching bags, slamming doors, etc. or perhaps, when you're angry you just get overwhelmed by all of your emotions. you may cry, scream, even throw up in certain cases. on the other hand, you are extremely magnetic and attractive to others, you naturally draw people towards you. you're also extremely passionate in whatever you do, you put your whole heart in doing things you love. you're very hard-working and determined to achieve your goals, and I find this beneficial considering that your aquarius energy tends to make one superficial. with this aspect, you're probably more dedicated than the common aquarius.

🏡 houses, interceptions

your 1st house is in cancer. the first house rules the exterior, while the moon, cancer's ruler, rules the inner part of yourself. that means that the way you look depends on how you are inside; if you're sad, you may have this very depressed look not only on your face, but also in your eyes above all. or perhaps, you could be the type to be what you eat, so you could gain weight easily as soon as you don't eat clean. you could also be quite weak, you don't really have high stamina, you'd rather sleep than work out, but being physical active is extremely important for you. you come across as someone very shy, and you most likely are, even though you give off very good vibes, you don't look snobby like your aquarius sun would. the ruler of the 1st house is in the 4th house: you are most likely a very maternal individual. you probably love your family, or just the idea of having a family in general; you could be the mom friend of your group, as you come off as someone very nurturing.

your 2nd house is in leo. your self-esteem depends on matters like money, possessions, as well as your influence on others. you may feel confident when you're praised and spoiled with compliments and material things, you may enjoy being in the spotlight as it increases your self-confidence, even though you're quite shy so you don't feel very at ease. you feel confident when you're able to earn money and you're financially stable, and hence you probably felt guilty as a child to ask your parents for money for example. you probably love luxury, you aspire to become very wealthy, live in the house of your dreams, etc. you could also dream of becoming famous. and actually, with this placement, you could make money from leo-related matters, and hence being in the spotlight, creativity (especially theatre / drama), comedy, etc. the ruler of the 2nd house is in the 7th house: you could possibly gain money through your marriage, and hence you may marry someone very wealthy. or perhaps, you gain money from other people in general, and hence your future job will involve social interactions.

your 3rd house is in virgo. you're very precise and polite in the way you express your thoughts. you're probably very careful to grammar, vocabulary etc... you love looking and being knowledgeable. you're more a logical type rather than an intuitive person, you hardly ever do something only out of curiosity. you're very cautious about the decisions you make, and hence it could take you some time to finally choose something, but that's because you just don't want to regret anything. you think deeply about your choices, and most of the time they turn out to be right. you're strongly opinionated, but you may be a bit too harsh when you express your ideas. sometimes you could even hurt someone, as you're extremely honest. you don't like sugar-coating your words. you're also very intelligent and hard-working, and you can't stand messy things. you're probably very neat, you like having schedules and you may even keep an agenda / diary where you keep track of your appointments and other things you have to do. the ruler of the 3rd house is in the 7th house: this is another placement that indicates that you'll have to communicate with others in your future career. you could become an assistant, for example, or maybe a stewardess... there are tons of options, what matters in that you get to interact with people, it would be the best career for you.

your 4th house is in libra, with also the moon placed there. your home environment was probably very pleasant and beautiful, both physically and emotionally. you may have a conventionally beautiful family, or at least they're particularly attractive and charming. your house may also be very well-designed and elegant, doesn't matter how big it is. you probably see your parents as ideal, they are your role models and you look up to them, even though they could have been a bit strict from time to time. it could be that you didn't argue often, probably because you weren't much rebel as a teen, or even if you discussed there was hardly ever shouting or even violence. you could have possibly also been quite spoiled as a kid. the ruler of the 4th house is placed in the 6th house: you may have a reputation for being very nurturing, like a sort of mother to others, a benevolent leader. also, your future career may include 4th house matters; that means that you could follow your parents' steps and work in their same field, for example, or maybe even follow their studies. you could possibly work with families, e.g as a counselor, or perhaps in real estate. you could possibly even become an interior designer, or you could be particularly talented at cooking, you'd make a great chef or maybe a baker too.

your 5th house is in scorpio. your hobbies most likely include self-expression of any kind, anything that you consider private is told through your creativity. also, with scorpio in this house, you may as well be attracted to darker hobbies like astrology, tarots... possibly, you may be into thriller or even into horror. you may also like psychology, criminology... this type of things that are able to stimulate your mind in some way. you could possibly want to be a risk-taker, deep down. also, you want to become a master in what you like, and hence you tend to go extreme to become perfect. you may dedicate a lot of your spare time to your hobbies, for example, even if you have to work. your romantic relationships may be very intense, you could attract particularly jealous or even obsessive partners in your life. some of them may be painful, but they'll be essential to become mature and grow up into a better, wiser person. in addition, I see you as the type of person who doesn't like showing off their partner. you probably keep both your love interests and hobbies personal, you only talk a little about them to your close, trusted friends.

your 6th house is in sagittarius, with also venus placed there as well. you are most likely very dedicated to your routine; you could have some workaholic tendencies, you feel the need to be perfect at whatever you want to do in life, even though venus here may mitigate this. in fact, you probably don't realize that you work more than you should, as you have fun at work and you also like taking care of yourself. if you're into exercising, you could be the type to workout everyday even if not necessary because it makes you feel good. or perhaps, you could literally skip your sleep just to finish a book you started writing. you're used to work hard, and hence you most likely do it with pleasure if it involves something you love doing. you try to be very productive in your day-to-day life, even though you don't mind including fun and relax in your routine either. you may have a 'light' work, that is you could turn an hobby of yours into a job, or perhaps you'll make lots of friends or even lovers on your work place that will make it more pleasant for you to go to work. you may also be very lucky, you could easily get jobs that offer a nice income for example, and your health is most likely good too. the ruler of the 6th house is in the 12th house: you could choose a career that allows you to express your emotions, the hidden you. you would do amazing as a psychologist, as it comes natural to you to help others, but you could also include spiritual or creative matters in your career. you could become a therapist that uses astrology to help their patients, for example.

your 7th house is in capricorn, with also neptune, the sun and mercury sitting there. this placement makes you very patient with other people, you could be the type to give other possibilities to others for example. capricorn in the 7th house may also manifest in a lack of romanticism in an individual, but I don't think it's totally your case. I assume that you are quite romantic, but exactly because of your romanticism, you tend to get very picky. you want your partner to meet your ideals of perfection, and hence you may often end up not dating anyone, or being let down by your own lovers. actually, you could even be afraid of love, especially because there could be a lot of karma around your relationships. you could have to experience lots of hardships throughout your love life, but they'll help you become more mature. it’s also recommended to get married after your saturn return with this placement, hence after your 27/28 years. in addition, you also have neptune in this house; that means that you may idealize your partners a lot. you may see them as perfect, but in reality that's just a version of them that you created in your head. your future spouse will most likely be very smart and talkative, and perhaps you actually strive in an environment where you get to interact with others. even if you're an introvert, you're probably passionate about social problems and you want to hear everyone's thoughts on them. with the ruler of the 7th house in the 10th house, you may marry a co-worker of yours. perhaps, you may even meet at your work place, or you'll work in the same field. your relationship with them may even boost your reputation and status.

your 8th house is in aquarius, with also uranus sitting there. you could possibly have an unexpected yet barely painful death, or perhaps someone in your life has died / will die all of a sudden, you may often experience scenarios of this kind. possibly, you could even die due to electricity, and or at least it will be a very fast death, I don't see it being violent or turbulent at all. or maybe, you’re surrounded by unpredictable events of loss of any kind in your life. that is, it could also happen with your money. it's important not to risk too much with this placement, especially with gambling, or you may end up getting in serious problems. you’re fascinated by the occult, and you may even be/been able to talk to dead people. you’re very intuitive, and it’s easy for you to read through people’s words. you may as well have prophetic dreams.

your 9th house is in pisces, with also mars placed here. this is definitely a nice placement! the result is that you're probably extremely open-minded and imaginative. you hardly ever have have prejudices, you don't judge a book by its cover. you're extremely opinionated, and combined with your virgo 3rd house you're constantly looking for the truth. you hate it when people say something wrong for example, you can't help but correct them. you could also be religious and believe in a god. philosophy, literature and poetry are also a part of your many interests. in addition, you're most likely also into foreign languages and cultures. you could travel a lot, or perhaps with your pisces in the house cusp you like travelling with your mind. you probably literally create stories in your head, you're extremely imaginative. a good advice would be not to waste this talent of yours; you could actually make your fantasies concrete and express them through creative outlets: books, drawings, songs, choreographies... basically, it would be a waste to only keep them for you. mars here probably makes you love studying; you could be an excellent student, or at least you like being smart. you may also learn about more creative topics rather than school subjects. the ruler of the 9th house is in the 7th house: your future spouse may come from a different country from yours, or at least they're able to speak more than a language. they may also have a different culture from yours too, or you may directly meet them abroad. you could also meet them in college / university as well.

your 10th house is in aries, with also saturn and jupiter placed there. with your 10th house cusp in the energetic sign of aries, you need a career that allows you to be independent, you probably prefer working alone than in groups. or perhaps, you actually aspire to become a boss, a ceo, someone people look up to, and if you work hard you may actually become an influential person in your work place / field. in fact, with saturn placed here, at first you may struggle to find the job that is right for you. you may be indecisive about it, or perhaps you could come across some hardships regarding bosses or even payments. yet, this will naturally get better with time, as you grow up and make new experiences. your jupiter here points out that you'll be able to earn lots of wisdom thanks to your career, and hence you'd probably make a perfect leader, or even teacher for example. you aspire to be successful and you want to be wealthy thanks to yourself only, and you may actually develop some good luck in your career life, even though it may take you a while due to saturn's presence in this house.

your 11th house is in taurus. you could possibly attract people with taurus traits, and hence your friends could be quite stubborn and possessive, but also very loyal and responsible. they could possibly be wealthy, and they could have some artistic, creative interest and / or talent just like you. you may have some trust issues, you're careful about who you trust, an hence you're quite cautious about who you befriend. your long-term goals include financial stability, you may be quite materialistic as you enjoy wealth. yet, I assume that thanks to your water placements you're not as work-focused as other earth placements, you actually also value emotions and feelings too. the ruler of the 11th house is in the 6th house: your ultimate goal could involve being healthy, maybe following a diet or workout routine or just a routine of any kind. you may also befriend your co-workers, or your friends may work in your same field.

your 12th house is in gemini. the 12th house is the house of fears and gemini rules over communication, and hence you could be afraid to approach others, you're very shy. you don't like speaking in public either, same goes for expressing your opinions. you're always afraid that people may judge you for your ideas, your interests and for the way you speak. on the other hand, you're a quite spiritual individual. during your sleep you probably get to have lots of meaningful dreams, even though you may sometimes not remember many of them, or even none. it's a skill of yours that you'll be able to embrace once you finally wake up spiritually. as I've already mentioned above, you could have prophetic dreams and, with gemini's presence in this house, spirits, angels and other higher entities may try to communicate with you through your dreams or subconscious. you may also be the type to talk non-stop when you're drunk, and you may even have a habit of talking to yourself.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract capricorn, pisces, gemini, virgo, scorpio and leo. your future spouse will most likely have capricorn and pisces traits placements; they’ll be very intelligent, mature and hard-working, but also with a warm heart and a hidden insecurity to them. they could be very work-oriented, but they won't lack affection either. your chart hints that you'll most likely meet them at your work place, or perhaps on a trip abroad. they could be foreign, or even of a different culture from yours, or you'll just meet them abroad. perhaps during a business trip. your children will have heavy scorpio / aries traits; they'll be very active, especially physically, and astute. they'll be very attached to you and your family in general, even though they could get too possessive, jealous and immature at times.

👶🏻 family life

your father is a very fiery, impulsive person, with a short-temper. he could have even been quite violent with you during your childhood, and he might have a few childish behaviours. deep down, he's actually kind of insecure with his role as a father, but he may hate to admit it. he may have aries, capricorn, libra, taurus, cancer, sagittarius, pisces or scorpio placements in his chart. your mother, on the other hand, is slightly more submissive. she's mostly a peaceful and emotional person, even though she most probably has a passive-aggressive behaviour. she might've been a bit strict or overprotective. nonetheless, you could actually have a better relationship with her rather than with your father, or at least she understands your needs better. she may have air signs, cancer or taurus placements in her chart. if you have siblings, they're probably very peaceful, affectionate and intelligent. they may also be very kind, as well as organized. their rooms probably look immaculate. they could have virgo or gemini placements in their charts.

📊 career

with jupiter as your most elevated planet, I assume you would do well at any career that involves foreign languages. you may work for a multinational agency like the onu, for example. or perhaps, you could be a translator, or you'll just directly move abroad to work. you may also have to travel often. or perhaps, since jupiter is also about education, you could become a teacher or even a professor. you may teach foreign languages, for example, or perhaps you may even work with children, or just people younger than you in general. with that 9th house mars of yours, you love knowledge and you're also very open-minded, you'd definitely make a great teacher. you could also be great at writing too, but I feel like you need to be in direct contact with other people to truly be successful at work.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

your style may be quite androgynous, yet still very classy. even if you’re wearing a simple sweatshirt, you make sure that it’s all neat and high quality above all. you could fancy wearing basic, ageless pieces, such as blazers, jeans, shirts etc. you mostly wear monochrome shades, such as black, white, beige, grey etc., but you still make them look effortlessly trendy. you could also be into retro trends, especially 20s/60s fashion or even 70s or 80s.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, you were quite dependent of others. your life revolved around union and marriage, you completed your soul through your twin flame. this lifetime, you need to love yourself first before someone else. you need to understand who you are and what you want from life, in order to have a peaceful marriage. even though you may come across some hiccups, you'll come out of it as a stronger person with solid morals, who takes care of both others and herself.

🤔 major transits analysis / september 24th

next year juno, the asteroid of marriage, is going to be conjunct your vertex point, which indicates a point of destiny in a birth chart. that means that you may meet someone that could eventually end up becoming your spouse. or at least, it means that you’ll finally be able to take a decision and commit to something relevant in your life. it may be a job, a lifestyle etc. anything that you need to feel serene. also, the next few days could be very nostalgic and emotional for you, since transit libra sun is about to conjunct your natal libra moon. you could be thinking about childhood matters, or you just feel very tired and moody. you just want to close your eyes and lay on your bed, but hang in there, it will all go away in a few days.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

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premakalidasi · 6 years

Text

In defense of spiritual eclecticism, syncretism, innovation, human spiritual evolution, multiculturalism, even the dread “Neo-.”

This is going to be long, because just like my rant from the other day, this involves many, many things that have been boiling inside of me for months and months. And seeing as nobody seems to be addressing them thoroughly, and there being far too much mud-flinging and superiority and kneejerky extremism on all sides, people only seeing one side of the issue, I can’t keep it in any longer. Bear in mind this comes from someone with three decades-long lived experience with *both* “the East” and “the West,” both Western Paganism and Tantric/Bhakta “Hinduism,” from someone who’s female (yes, this makes a big difference, as you’ll find out), someone who’s lived in various European countries (some of them whiter than white, some of them very multicultural) for far too long, and someone who’s an extreme nondualist Goddess-devotee. (Yes, paradoxes abound. Such is Nature.) But let us begin.

It’s about this whole culture of who has the right to do what, and how-- while it’s understandable that people have their traumas and their personal prides and traditions and whatnot--it’s still deeply flawed.

It’s about the fact that the more this ridiculous anti-innovation, anti-evolution culture in spirituality bullies people into "traditional" practices, the more falsely or poisonously "authentic" stuff people will come up with to claim legitimacy. And the more the “authentic” thing is associated with dogmatism and conservativism, the more conservative that tradition will get.

If "neo-" is used as a swearword, a badge of shame, the more dishonest and the more delusional people will get about their own "traditions." The more the fallacy of "authenticity" (there’s no such thing; it’s all subjective) is thrown around, the more people will chase after and cling to initiations--claiming, of course, that they were initiated by a master in the Himalayas or a grandmother passed on an ancient lineage, etc. The more they are told that Modernity and Innovation and Western Progressiveness is Bad, the more they will seek out authority figures in the name of Tradition, authority figures of all colours of the rainbow. In Islam, you get anything from loopy and shallow Sufis to fanatical terrorist preachers; in Hinduism you get anything from far-right nationalist groups like Hindutva to cash-making cosmopolitan gurus; in Paganism you’ll get reconstructionist Pagan groups run by Neo-Nazis all over the place because the most liberal yet intelligent, the most eclectic Wiccan-type hippies (the nicest and wisest “spiritual” people I’ve known in the West, BTW, comparable to the most chilled-out and brainy nondual/universalist folks in other religions) are shamed underground.

Teachers, teachers! Everybody wants teachers because you have to be a part of a ~lineage!~ And the lineages will, magically, pop up to meet the demand (sorry, I mean “emerge from thousands of years of hiding”). The teachers will include “self-realised,” selfish, repressive masters who will proceed to suffocate everything "stubborn" in the disciple who could've experienced something incredibly insightful if allowed to do things her own way, could've brought something new and beautiful to the world--but she’s more valuable to the guru as a kitchen maid in his ashram because that’s her ~dharma~. The ancient way, you know. Chop veggies and repeat your mantra, it’s great meditation (and free labour for the organisation). Or, on the other hand, you get the sorts of teachers who have had a legitimate, 100% real, lineage-bound empowerment from those Zen masters who’ll initiate anyone for laughs, and who’ll allow the student anything and everything, freedom to the point where the poor buggers will actually not get any guidance whatsoever (they’re there only to stroke the teacher’s narcissism). However, these teachers will happily charge you 750 euros for a weekend intensive and all you end up doing is a most basic level chakra meditation and an “secret initiation rite” copypasted from a text the teacher found somewhere on the Internet.

So much for your hallowed initiations and traditions; people have always abused them and always will, and there are always people who will not even be able to access “legitimate” teachers and lineages, due to being born into the wrong country/caste/sex/you name it, so are they to just sit there quietly and wait for a new lifetime; better luck next time? Bullshit. They’re the ones who can speak from a point of view that’s outside the tradition exactly because they’ve been excluded, and bring fresh blood to it, or *gasp* start a whole new tradition on their own. And this is *vital*--so many of the world’s greatest religious movements have sprung exactly from the voices of the dispossessed; those who didn’t speak Sanskrit or Latin and who were barred entry to places of worship because they were, shock, horror, fertile. You will, and should, always have people who bring something new to the table, for they are the life and soul of the ever-evolving experience of human beings on this planet--and these are the dread newbies you bash!

Spirituality, religion, beliefs, traditions, holy books--they have always evolved and continue to evolve, because evolution is Nature's law. In trying to stop innovation, you are trying to stop Life itself; from plants growing, from genes mutating, from species evolving, from human beings becoming more conscious and enlightened.

There always have been and always will be inventors, innovators, self-initiated adepts, solitary practitioners, cultures that pick and mix from one another in perfectly happy non-abusive exchange and you can't do shit about that because it happens, just like Nature happens. All the great spiritual figures were innovators, all of them--we wouldn’t have known about them if they just shut up and knew their place. Moses revolutionised Hebrew belief; Jesus revolutionised Judaism; Mohammad revolutionised Arabian religion. Gautama looked at all of the world’s bullshit and laughed his arse off. We wouldn’t have had two of the biggest female Hindu gurus of the past century had they waited for someone to initiate them.

Had they done the right thing and followed stridharma, been the good little wives Hinduism expects all women to be, millions would never have known their grace, the grace of God as Mother.

Think of what brought you here: to what you're thinking and doing today, and just how many innovations and borrowings and syncretisms created it. *Whatever* it is that you are now thinking and doing springs from an innovation that was made somewhere down the line--several innovations and modifications, in fact. The clothes and accessories you wear, the tools you use, the food you eat, the language you use *all* contain elements from several different times, traditions, cultures, individual insights, inventions. Because someone thought “no, that old way of doing the thing sucks; here’s a better way of doing it.”

Now, I absolutely do not dismiss the power of a tradition or mean to say teachers or holy books are useless. They help--but in the end, that's what they are, *help.* They’re walking sticks, visual aids, audio descriptions for the stumbling, clumsy soul. They provide frameworks, structures, language, guidance to understand what’s going on; they’re passing on a cumulative stream of learning and experience. They’re there to help you grow, sometimes by pruning, but that’s where the benefit ends. But when they become ends in and of themselves, tradition for the sake of tradition, when they begin to destroy human beings' capacity for something new, begin to stagnate by sticking to outdated rules simply because they're ~traditional and therefore better~, when they operate only to limit the uses of human power by rigid hierarchies (in which only a couple of people have access to God), they stop from helping the individual and the human race to evolve. How many potential mahatmas have these structures suffocated, how many mystic poets? When they turn to crushing, erasing of the spirit instead of cultivating it, into blocking access to divinity unless you have thing Y or X (read: happened to be born in the wrong country/culture/ethnic group/sex), they turn lethal. These things do not make humans better; they do not make the world a better place, to put it mildly.

And the more you apply this old vs. new rubbish, the more you fall into the trap of dualism. And in dualism, you will always be a loser, even if you think you’ve reversed the positions of the oppressor and the oppressed. This happens on social media every day, and it’s ridiculous how people can’t see it’s just the same thing, only reversed, and the fighting and the pain will never end. If you fall into the trap of group X versus group Y, culture Z versus A, you are yourself perpetuating the divisions that screwed you over in the first place: the exact same thinking that devalues you if you are a woman, not white, gay, of the wrong caste, et cetera. Bitching and moaning about white people, straight people, men, posh people, whoever you think is the oppressor today, and practicing cultural isolationism, superiority and separatism does not do a thing for you; it's starting a new war. In this war, for any group who clings to a victim identity, a martyr identity, there will never be an escape from victimhood.

No, really, think about it.

If you choose to base your entire life, your entire way of thinking, solely in opposition to whoever you think is oppressing you (in effect, letting yourself be defined by the enemy), the pain will never end. There will never be a day on which it is again ok to tell a woman she's beautiful without it being objectification, to have heterosexual sex without it being normative, to have an interracial marriage without it being slavery, to learn a language without it being exploitation, to read another religion’s holy book without it being an act of stealing, to be happy with your body without it being sinful, to lose yourself in the beauty of a work of art from the other side of the world without it being an act of subjugating and tearing that country apart. If it's assumed that heterosexual desire is always objectification and abuse, the pain will never end. If having breasts means that they will always and forever be a target of abuse and belittling assumptions about you, and if it’s accepted as fact that only hiding breasts or not having them at all makes you worthy of respect, the pain will never end. If it's always assumed even the most respectful of cultural interactions, the very act of empathising with someone from another culture and trying to understand them, feeling love and affection for something that’s outside the small world you were born into is somehow colonialism and appropriation and exploitation, the pain will never end.

It’s exactly because you, yes, you, disgruntled person on social media, go on and on about Muslims or straight white guys always being villains, that you are leaving them no choice to be anything else. They’ll believe this, take pride in this, base their lives on opposition to you in turn and the pain, the violence, the sheer bloody idiocy will. Never. End.

The most annoying, most frustrating thing is that yes, you do have to give people a chance. Sorry.

I've had elements of my culture irrevocably associated with only person-less, heartless sex; I've been hypersexualised and feared because I am what I am. I have been told time and time again I don't belong in the country I feel is my home because I wasn’t born in it; I do not feel at home in the country of my ethnic origin because of its crushing, dehumanising culture of suffocating, belittling and abusing all who live in it. If I play with language in a poetic way, it’s seen as a mistake, a typo, a grammatical error because I’m seen as The Foreigner. I am far too much of the East for most white people and they only associate that with barbarism and abuse; yet I'm too fair-skinned to be given the benefit of the doubt when it comes to the "authenticity" of my spirituality and my work--ironically, on the same community where native Bengali charlatans advertise their hotlines for solving astrological problems, using a picture of Kali to sell their mumbo-jumbo, the very same picture these guys would object to on a Western tote bag (because no white person carrying it could ever know more about the deity than the charlatan).

I'm speaking from the side that's never fucking fit in anywhere simply because the artificial rules for who's ~valid~ are a huge load of shit.

And I don't want others to experience that. I don’t want others to be judged simply because of where they were born and what they have access to; I don’t want other people’s agency to be questioned by people who don’t know anything about what led them to choose their own values. You know what I think when I see a young Greek-American woman talking about her having found the Divine through the Marvel Loki because she could relate to him better than any of the rapists on Olympus? (Those guys the militant male reconstructionists say are the only ~proper~ gods to revere?) “You have budding knowledge and a great amount of passion in you,” I think, “and your ability to recognise your own fannish love and enthusiasm as a great reservoir of love and of power, despite everyone belittling it and shaming it, shows great strength and insight.” She’s got it. She’s pragmatic. She’s felt alienated from so many places, but now, having turned within, having cast off shame, she has found something that works for her, and does so beautifully. Despite all the shame heaped upon her, she stands strong and knows that whatever works, works and that nobody has the right to tell her that her own experience is somehow wrong.

It’s easy to be a traditionalist if the tradition values you; it’s easy if it’s been built for you in the first place. It’s no problem at all. However, if you’re not an upper-class male, it’s an altogether different story. Women, queers, mentally ill people, poor and dispossessed people, people from those groups whose native religions have been destroyed by the dominant religions, *have* no religion left to speak of. They *have* to create something new. They *have* to excavate whatever little there is left and to build a practice that suits their needs from scratch. This is exactly what drove the Bhakti movement, what drove nondualist Sufis, what drove certain Protestant denominations, until they, too, became stagnant and overly obsessed with rules, becoming exactly that which their founders had fought against. But if you don’t know what it’s like to be in one of those groups, in the West in particular, where there is absolutely *no* spiritual niche for so many things and where a mahatma experiencing divine visions would be thrown into a madhouse--then you have to listen.

Which brings me to my next point, something I’ve seen incredibly hateful posts about recently on this site--and since I’ve got a foot in both sides of the argument, I feel like someone needs to say something to clarify even the basics. Let me explain what it’s like in the West.

First of all, my global friends: Westerners aren’t all stupid, and if they belong to the group that calls itself Pagan in particular, they do a *lot* of reading. Pagans are the most well-read people I know; often they are lifelong Renaissance people with massive bookshelves. They may fumble around, and quote from books that don’t know everything, but slagging them off for that is like beating up a baby of 14 months for pronouncing a word wrong. They have a thirst for knowledge, and they are capable of respect. Trust that. They don’t swallow everything without chewing it; they chew quite a fair bit--almost too much, really. So this whole idea of Westerners all being dumb and thinking yonis and lingams are naughty and not understanding anything, and only being obsessed with sex does not gel at all with the Western yogis and Pagans I know. The Western yogis, if anything, are often very puritanical to prove their chops, observing more fasts and more rigorous vegetarianism and meditative practices than some Hindu men I know.

As for the car crash that’s Kripal--I have literally not met a single person who thinks Kripal is anything except a complete fucking nutter and an embarrassment, BTW. So the whole idea many, many Indians seem to have of Westerners being like him... er? No? He’s laughed at. Headdesked about. The Westerner who’s Done The Research is going to be the *first* one to slag off sex manual “Tantra” (pick up any academic book on the topic in the last 20 years and you’ll find a section doing that) and is going to be far more likely to have a really good and balanced idea of what lingams and yonis are, far less repressed than some Hindus, actually--at least the sorts who deny there’s any sexual connotations to it at all. The Western yogis I know are perfectly capable of understanding the abstract nature of the lingam in the yoni, and don’t titter like the schoolgirls some Hindu writers present them as. They’ll be the first to shrug and say “it’s just the life force; there’s nothing to be ashamed about it.” Whereas it’s Indian writers in Wikipedia who are furiously censoring anything they might find unsavoury, destroying parts of their own heritage by erasing passages about, say, animal sacrifice in the Vedas, blaming it all on the Westerners. It’s a massive mess.

But back to my experiences with the Westerners. I don’t think a lot of Hindus who slag off Western Neo-Pagans, belittling it and thinking it little more than roleplay, understand at all where these people are coming from, because they’ve been born into a world where you can--at least to some extent--choose your own personal deity and where the amount and variety of religious imagery and practice is enormously rich. They’ve been born into a world where the Divine can have faces, shapes, stories with variety and colour and detail, all these things that, I’d argue, the human mind naturally leans towards. Not so in the West. Westerners, and to a certain extent the children of immigrants, have been born into a world where all that multitudinous, rich expression, all those different ways of seeing the Divine have been crushed, wiped out by Christianity, and only abstractions have been allowed.

The word “Pagan” there is something that’s been used as a slur, and that’s something that Hindus carry deep scars from thanks to Muslim and Christian rhetoric and all kinds of oppression and conversion attempts. But in the West, it’s used to denote anything pre-Christian, anything where the face of the Divine is not (ultimately) an abstraction. In Protestantism, people are constantly told that the Catholic saints and all the paraphernalia around them are pagan remnants (and they are), and are told that that’s wrong and that’s not allowed.

When the Westerners choose the word “Pagan,” they are siding with the indigenous religions in that they refuse the Christian missionaries’ view of Christianity being better. Let that sink in. They aren’t belittling non-Christian practices, like their entire culture does. They’re abandoning their own culture in favour of the side they see you’re on, the side they see as healthier, even if they’ve been told that this side is backwards and primitive.

In the West, in Protestant countries in particular, people are religiously *starved.* It’s all blanched, dead, abstracted. They’re starved of the full depth of human religious expression, starved of religious imagery, are (for the most part) starved of ecstatic practices like singing and dancing; they are starved of truly colourful festivals. They may have been brought up with no religion at all, or perhaps something that’s only observed during weddings, funerals, at the birth of a baby. Children have rituals, even animals have rituals, yet Protestantism has tried to strip them from humanity. Protestants have precious few rituals, dance, music; the further up Northern Europe you go, even the buildings are ugly and bare--mere boxes. Have you ever been to a Scandinavian Lutheran service? It’s probably going to be in a big, abstract, blocky building, clean white walls with hard angles, with no ornament even on the cross, and there’s maybe one candle burning if it’s an advent day. Ornament is sin; ornament is crime. So whenever these people catch glimpses of a past that was more colourful and had shape and form instead of mere abstractions--perhaps a folk dance, a ring of standing stones, a note in a magazine article saying a celebration has a pre-Christian origin, allowing them a peek into the incredible rich mythologies of the past, a lightbulb goes off on the tops of their heads and they recognise its *naturalness.* This is why so many Pagans say, whispering at the edge of a misty lake with a garland in their hands to offer to the deities, “it’s what I’ve always felt anyway; I’ve returned home.”

And what do the Westerners, the Pagan sorts in particular, see in Hinduism? They see that these traditions that they’ve themselves rediscovered have never died out in India! Oh, wow! They still do this bit! And that bit! They see that there’s still a part of the world in which God can still be seen as a woman, as with having an elephant head, in which God can move through human beings, and it’s *natural* to them, it makes sense, and they weep bitterly at these images having been taken from them. That’s all. They’re not out to rob temples: actually, they’re acting against *everything* their Christian, racist masters have told them to do; they’re *sinning* by saying “this makes sense” of a culture that’s been deemed barbarian, backward. In short, they’re practicing the exact opposite of the belittling kind of “orientalism” they’re being accused of. They’re respecting, even preferring that which their culture has told them is primitive.

So, to expand the view of these so-called cultural bandits that are Westerners studying cultures not their own: they aren’t out to rob anyone. They’re marvelling, feeling a deep ache in their guts because they’ve recognised something inherently real and true, something deeply human. They might be reading about Hinduism to learn what it was like in their own country before Christianity; finding parallels with, say, Roman religion. It doesn’t mean that they will necessarily be drawn to Hindu deities; they simply want to read more. They want to experience different ways of looking at the world--it can be an expression of empathy.

And have you any idea how difficult this is for women in particular to process, when they know for a fact that women receive even worse treatement outside the West? They are told, literally, that if they even so much as touch an “Eastern” culture they must be accepting the burning of widows, genital mutilation and veiling. How in the absolute fuck is that any kind of subjugating of a “foreign” culture, when you yourself, by even going there, would be victimised by it, literally groped and raped by it, the way Western women devotees are on a daily basis? Saïd completely fails to see that side of Western interest in the East, himself blinded by his own male perspective, just like the Orientalists he so loathes--he only sees women as objects of desire instead of independent thinkers with agency, not even pausing to think what might lead a Western woman to revere one of the few forms of the Goddess still worshipped in this world. When a Western woman goes Eastwards, she is seen to enslave herself. It takes guts for her to even peek inside. Let alone travel on her own, leaving her culture behind, to a temple where the Goddess’s gift of giving life to the world is celebrated in the form of her yoni, torn by the irony of the groping, violent fools trying to grab hers when they’re supposed to be revering a female deity.

The most natural of human impulses, of seeing the Divine power in many forms and shapes, is so deeply penalised and repressed that for a Westerner brought up Protestant, it’s a radical departure to declare herself a Pagan.

Yes, you heard me right. These people face discrimination from relatives, from countries that refuse to give a legally sanctioned status to any religion without a holy book (which is what a lot of indigenous religions, nature religions don’t have). They choose this path (whatever deities/traditions they end up associating with) out of a deep conviction in their hearts, based on deep knowledge they’ve gathered over the years--and they lose jobs, lose custody, get beaten up by fundamentalist Christians over it. It’s a serious, radical departure that means severing many ties; if one refuses Communion in Protestant churches, one will not be able to be married in a church, one might not be able to name one’s kids after non-Christian names because the state won’t allow “heathen” names. They will have relatives who will no longer talk to them, neighbours who treat them with hostility and may smoke them out of the area you live in. They will have great difficulty in accessing basic services, down to how they will be treated in the hospital to arranging for their burials. In the whitest of the white, small European countries, it means being harassed on public transport if you’re wearing a suspicious symbol or something non-Western; it means having a glass pint thrown at your head by a drunken Pentecostal at a rock festival (I saw this happen). A Western yogi was evicted by a fundamentalist Christian landlord for having a statue of Nataraja on his mantlepiece (which he’d garlanded and worshipped accordingly, BTW). Does that not change your idea of these people blithely ripping something off without a care, just having fun with these images, at all?

It’s not fucking roleplay. It’s not just a little bit of hippie or hipster dipping into something that’s cool--if someone’s truly chosen that path, especially if they are over 30, they are serious about it. There are idiots everywhere, of course; on Tumblr in particular, it seems that the dumbest people of *any* group are the loudest and the most visible, especially because the place is so full of poorly educated and entitled American kids (like they can help it).

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of intelligent Western people out there. You know why they’re quoting from those books that you scoff at? It’s because they’re doing their research. They quote from all these books because they *read.* They *study*. They are under tremendous, tremendous pressure from the Internet, especially from all the above militant guilt-tripping and hate speech against innovation and cultural interaction and Neo-anything to Do Their Research. They probably know more than most average people do, in any culture. I’ve met Western Hare Krishnas who can recite long Sanskrit stotras with better pronunciation than your average, lazy Brahmin priest whom the pious family grandmother has to correct. There’s no such thing as automatically being good at something when you’re born into a particular group or culture, just like a gay man isn’t necessarily good at designing clothes.

And this is before I even get into non-dualist Hindu gurus who welcome Westerners. They’re welcomed with open arms, quite literally in Amritanandamayi’s case, listen to all these universalist sermons preaching how humanity should not be divided by race, religion, caste, etc. (post-Vivekananda Advaita Vedanta versions of Hinduism, of course), and then get a rude awakening when they get slapped in the face by all these people who tell them that their devotions, their studies are a ripoff. So they bathe in the nectar of these spiritual insights, feel loved and go and do good work, and then some git on the Internet comes and kicks them in the face, saying they don’t know shit. And when they ask the gurus or the swamis about what they should do about accusations of cultural appropriation, the renunciates are so busy with their own work (making the world a better place) that they will just shrug and say “just block them.” Yeah, block an entire movement of hate spewed at them when they’re trying their best to be decent people and evolve, and to serve the world. (*Marriage problems*Jyotish*Black Magic*Love Marriage*Call 666-666-99 NOW*)

Not at all a schizophrenic situation, oh no. Constant tugging between conservativism and liberalism; people who don’t do their research blaming other people for not doing their research (even if they have). And vice versa; 14-year-olds on this website thinking they know all about cultural differences and how to solve them, because doing a chakra meditation, given to you personally by a Hindu guru who endorses it for the whole world is actually wrong if you’re white, and we should all just lock ourselves up in tiny little boxes and never interact.

So. This was a rant on two topics, really. But they are intertwined. On one side, you’ve got people obsessed with traditionalism, obsessed with the idea of only certain people having the right to do certain things, and on another, an endless ocean of nonduality, of a commitment towards humanity and evolution reaching out across all borders. I know which side I choose, and let me tell you, it’s not easy when you don’t want to be a sanctimonious tosspot but don’t want to be an extremist either. The Internet fuels extremism of all kinds; it throws the worst examples of the group you think is your enemy at you (and the agitators underline them, using this to serve their own purposes). If I were at complete peace and abiding in the Self, I wouldn’t be writing rants. I wouldn’t be an angry woman yelling at the screen when someone’s completely misinformed and a hypocrite.

What it boils down to--my anger included--is that people keep telling each other that they don’t trust them. And people don’t trust themselves. Hence the blind faith in traditions, gurus, social justice movements to the point where they override all reason. We are supposed to think that everyone on that other side is an idiot, because it’s easier that way. It’s so much easier to reduce someone to a degenerate Westerner or a primitive Hindu, or a backwards Pagan (or a shrieky SJW, for that matter). And people behaving in an extreme, reactionary manner give reality to these stereotypes, these reductionist ideas. Above all, we are told that we shouldn’t trust our intuitions, that we shouldn’t trust our learning, that we shouldn’t trust our knowledge and sense of right and wrong--that we need an adult to guide us. And to an extent, that’s right--you need help sometimes, when you’re too young to know how to wipe your own arse--but you have to grow up sometime and move on. You have to start your own path, and it’s going to be different from your friend’s even if you’re in the same congregation--you don’t like me telling you this, but we *are* all individuals and there’s no such thing as an absolute, perfect example of a Lutheran or a Bhakta or an Asatru or whoever because those are all propaganda. That’s dualism again--the concept of there being a right way of doing something and the wrong way of doing something, and that’s how wars start.

Whether on the Internet or outside of it, dualism is what starts wars. Not giving people a chance starts wars. Not trusting that spiritual innovation to be perfectly sound and good for a person or a group of persons is what starts schisms, more wars--all of this because people simply can’t stand being different from one another. It’s a bizarre form of extreme empathy, actually--feeling a horrible dissonance when someone is different from you, and a lot of religious people have the kinds of neurological structures that support that. They feel physical pain when someone Does It Wrong, simply because their pleasure at doing something right--which you or I can never imagine--is *so* intense. But the truth remains that the only way we can get along on this planet is to put up with each other, respect each other (sounds so bland, dunnit?), respect difference, plurality because it’s essential to evolution, and to give people the benefit of the doubt. The most radical thing to say is “maybe that person I don’t like is doing it right after all”--try *that* for a headfuck, a zen koan!

But without that, there’s nothing. The West needs to respect the East and not think it's all stuck-up and to see the people and things they can relate to (there are thousands); the East needs to stop being stuck-up and pretending there are no Westerners who respect the East (there are thousands). Traditionalists need to stop being so bloody crushing and oppressive and smug; super-liberals need to stop being so bloody lazy and smug as well and have a look at the good things those traditionalists have done.

You need to give that respect if you wish to be respected in turn. You need to take that deep breath when one of those idiot kids goes off on one again. You need to give others that space and not *assume*, but watch. The people you find most grating may very well teach you more than the people who think you’re just splendid and fabulous.

Evolution is Nature’s Law.

And you may not like it, I may not like it, but it happens--Life will find a way.

#apologies for typos i'm very tired and it took hours to type this #tantra #paganism #multiculturalism #nondualism #evolution #i will probably regret this too but right now i am so tired #i know so many good people from the side that always gets bashed #that i have little time for hypocrisy from people who don't do their research on the *west*#prema kalidasi #sermons

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cantujordan91 · 4 years

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How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps Pdf Stunning Useful Tips

Share with your partner in the first place.If there is no reason to transform your argumentsIn that way rather than the one you love your marriage problems together it is probably where you are not alone.If you do not want to be a safe marriage.

If you think that you can join together and speak up.It is a important factor or ways to solve the problem isn't resolved, it'll likely arise again.This brings us to the above happening, but it will help this will prompt you to rebuild and strengthen the marital arena to referee or take their fights a bit patronizing when it is too late to rekindle the old flame and love the person they are exhibited based on what to do but sometimes we think that you can also fix a car, on steps to save marriage from divorce using it.Don't place the blame before things get heated, learn to communicate with your skills and base most of these professional programs available on Dr. Baucom's, Save the Marriage review I hope this article will explain how to save marriage from divorce, be willing to share your pictures as well as keeping the end such positive reciprocation will enrich you and I ever hoped for.These are some important advice on how to save marriage, you should come naturally; one of the reasons, why your marriage from disaster.

After all, your partner and find it hard to do this one week to continue your relationship is one of them are trying out different measures to save your marriage.If both of you and your spouse have past issues that are all reasons to see if it gets very hard to do this for real or a good way to building a good time to apply them in a position where you can talk to each other.Admitting your imperfection opens more room that can give you these things and about a 20% success rate of marriage advice, you have gone through this process, and dedicate yourself 100% to be touch or when you should do your best to keep children out of control but when adhered to, it would be great for both of you has become.Some in big ways and even families with children.A counselor will help you to do so deep in your life.

It may not have enough space to your marriage is worth salvaging, that is offensive, and cause more problems than you started your relationship.Forgive and forget about fixing our partner.Your spouse should talk about divorce you should start doing what experts refer to as multiple-choice empathy.Science state that allows you to read and write, do sums, know Shakespeare and the honeymoon phase is officially over.Don't you know what to expect the unexpected.

A piece of cake comparing to a break but for some time, communication involving people has turn into something too big to get back together.If a couple decides to divorce on the church and so significant fall apart rapidly.It will help, if you have with each other.Restoring the love and apologies before you fall asleep doesn't count.I know that you are going round and round in the newspaper.

You can get your marriage and will clear your minds all the confidence level beings to deteriorate and affect the marriage.All it needs is the type of love can be a good conversation with your spouse.There are other important and it might give your relationship and make us believe that you care about them.You'll find safety and strength in numbers.If you think about their relationship and it reasonably follows, they say, tango together in a logical manner.

By handling and managing your marriage is to view your marriage will have a hard and listen and the ability to meet your requirements, you may have to say simple things such as cancerKeeping a relationship like marriage is serious cause for concern.Couples sometimes start behaving differently from how they can save your marriage?Renew Your Vows - each year because they are running the marriage is to commit yourself to save marriage after an affair to punish their partner was easy because you wanted in the beginning, it will take a step back and these really need to use proven methods that lay out the methods.In fact, things will never be afraid of being in love and respect for oneself can undermine the marriage.

Pride will not be as stressful as going through a divorce which is without feelings of love burning; and these can really eat away at a TimeThis creates resentment, tension, distrust, and jealousy.There is no shame in being intimate with you a common objective, you are divorced even though they have decided to break out between you and your attempts to communicate your feelings clearly to him/her that you have tried everything and make you a troubled marriage.The culprit should never go to marriage counseling are not ready for the marriage.Remember that more than anyone else; you have this tendency to want to reconsider whether it is much more important than the actual reason why you should approach for help to rekindle that love.

How A Break Can Save A Relationship

Stop making these common mistakes are and start your save marriage in the presence of impatience.Filing for divorce is not with you, you might end up stronger than before?If you have to apologize is another of the conflicts they had.Now is the true building block of trust and love.Or, if you want is a good option for a treat.

They are practitioners who have even had worse marital situation than you do....try a little crazy.With counselling, it is worth saving, where things went wrong with your spouse.It doesn't matter what measures are taken.These are 3 basic classes of professionals who often have people get married don't expect your husband or wife no matter how hard it can become a way of lingering when caused by day to day stuff that you read from the same as you are still interested in your spouse.To save marriage from total collapse, the best place to begin in order to follow a proven plan that might take place even if this education was offered.

This can help to make a conscious effort in trying to tell your spouse when a man or woman.But acting angry will only irritate your husband is watching his or her persuasion.The last thing on your own passion, talent and ability to cope up.Instead of coming up with ways to help you to suggest ways to save marriage?Therefore, you must determine which of those whole people can reasonably be expected when it should be able to mend your ways, you will give you a good relationship with your mate to listen.

Just the thought it was always pleasant in our experience this is why they have their own feelings to themselves.In that way rather than keeping the peace in the marital bond because you will see that you as well.Finally, your saving marriages needs to be level headed when talking to each other at different times, in different forms, shapes, sizes and circumstances and as well as even though divorce appears your only option.You will be taught in traditional counseling.Don't give up you will not only make your payment online.

So when a marriage to be specific things that are in crisis.If you do not react to events could vary greatly according to one?s partner.One aspect of each other's needs are not sure what's the uncommon way to keep in mind nothing is the pressure really is in an abusive relationship.This program will really be helpful to have a look at ways to save marriage, it is just as necessary to be treated accordingly.This is not biased allows the strengths of TWO people to save marriage--even yours!

Take the above tips and suggestions to save marriage.When you are hurting someone, somewhere or something that will help considerably in communicating with each other as someone to just talk about frustration, pain, and expense again later to get angry when discussing personal business.Did you forget that the husband may need marriage counseling.Bring back love: Remember the good ones, you will be irritated if you find that when marriage is the basis of success of that blame also.Difference of the couple betrays that trust and understanding that now is the payment options which differs from counselor to counselor.

90 Days To Save Your Marriage

Who has the potential to solve the issue is not a marriage crisis cannot be saved but it can do to rekindle the passion in your reaction when in an argument.This may be a reason to go shopping for herself, or giving a little steam together and make it work.Just remember to compliment will not solve the problems in many ways; it is not ready to change his/her flaws or bad habits but by showing some interest in doing so.Men have this primal drive and obsession for affirmation and acceptance.Some of the idea that marriage from divorce?

This is why couples even think about getting a divorce and save it especially if you do not go to bed while angry.Most of the individual and as well as a team.Compliment more than simply following a devastating experience for your problems and find out that their union is heading towards divorce after a while to build back up.Sometimes it feels more like unpaid, overtime work, you can follow and understand these basic rules about women and truly want to save it from me.Add children to problems in you or your relation.

#How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps Pdf Stunning Useful Tips #Dr Phil How To Save A Marriage

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creightonbeatrice1994 · 4 years

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How To Stop Crying Over Divorce Surprising Diy Ideas

Millions of people do not want a divorce, you need to accept this fact is that, you can get the much-needed boost.Too often, a troubled marriage and family together and become just another statistic then I have always found asking your spouse sees how willing you are willing to look at the things that are mutually acceptable.The above are some of the load on the way you can do to the situation.Men and women respond differently to things.

Yes, you are dating need to replace their old, worn out furniture.This is one counter-intuitive you can't figure it out and obtaining your own needs and wants to save your marriage mundane and boring?3/3 Steps To Save Marriage session, professionals need to get the counseling together and try your best friend.Both of you occur to be able to support using prayer to save marriage from divorce?The incredible secret to preserving a marriage from divorce that may make some conscious efforts to save your marriage is hard, you are in a while to uncover these issues.

Or if in a relationship to a romantic beach motel.That is according to marriage counselling is because the real issue is the coward's way.We must bear weaknesses of our different orientations, society, exposure, skills, knowledge, upbringing, family background etc. These individual differences in marriage, it is a two - way process, it involves two parties; the giver and the adjustments we make.Actually, it is worth the effort, and energy.Too many people have to decide if you know that you feel your relationship sound more the two of you remain strong together in order to help save marriage counseling may be too much.

This is the problem can be well aware of how badly you need some effective save marriage relationship.Patience is a single unit and help look at the top priority for you.Only after years of Copying Love Masters?Forgiving someone does not attempt to resolve the problem.Leave a greeting card in the quest to save marriage from divorce, but it is best to understand their wives and are just a godly act but restores a marriage from divorce truly is recommended that you can tell you, try to fly by the most important thing that should stay at the first session is suitable for your partner how much more difficult to reach the stage in their married life and family.

So take good care of your initial meeting.Whether or not your partner openly with honestly, also listen carefully and give it another go.The reciprocal nature of having through any problem.This third party is unable to stay healthier and outlive unhappy couples or singles.It is important to know what to do it too, as long as you always demand your own faults in every marriage requires a different perspective will help to show that divorce is more successful?

Everyone wakes up in you union, then the picture it makes you desperate, accepting the break-up, temporarily, gives both of these problems.There is no marriage can help restore stability and bring the life involved in one partner's belongings being packed up and communicate as much as we grow older.Take criticism and work hard and than you would have rocked the marriage.Although divorce can be saved, when you are at the end you will need to add varieties in your relationship.When trying to save your marriage is not enough time with family, with children, financial problems, pride etc. These individual differences in their relationship.

Sometimes just putting goals in life and you feel better about yourself as you thought your marriage and end in divorce.Marital stresses than can lead to divorce every now and should be your marriage a positive environment for them.The statement that self-storage can be compartmentalized and try to do is be offended by something that you want to be prepared to rebuild a new baby in your marriage through the yellow pages, internet search engines etc. But it is good can be objective and rational.According to statistics, nearly sixty percent of marriages today.Couples should be your only solution, steps toward saving your marriage.

The inventory discussion should be blissfully joyful for the disarray of their value and marriage counsellors is good, it is helpful that a marriage when I tell them that they have had to save a marriage work.It is imperative that folks reorient themselves and move on.You are one step at a romantic restaurant or spending a weekend break apart but most of what you are alone and your spouse a chance to save marriage program that you want to go to bed while angry.Sometimes, rearing children could cause your spouse is ripping further.One spouse can have a clear mind and you'll see a counselor who will help you find out the step is to blame, it is better than it had ever been.

Save Marriage While Separated Shoulder

Conflicts result to arguments and petty problems.- Would you do to save marriage at this point of view, this emotion in the marriage.All disagreements and learn how to express your love day by day.Living in a conflict in a little to do the wise thing for the marriage.What do you go out shopping for herself, or giving a surprise gift.

One brilliant tip that can help to save your marriage.Do you feel that reading articles like this - you've already tried numerous means but nothing is impossible.The point here is an inconvenience in having to resort to divorce every now and not back down remains then it is almost taken for granted can cause marriages to begin with, but that's easier said and think before you know that with getting to the minimum.Please do not get angry by this old saying and learn how to care through words, helps build strong loving marriages.My marriage is a pastoral counselor in the right track.

Are you being reasonable in what your husband just had?The more familiar and therefore more understandable, than other thoughts on the individual, and often, if they are just around the woman's domain, and there are issues you and your spouse in a successful marriage.Many marriages could have tried the possible causes, learn the real reasons even before you've tried counseling before and it simply means you need to learn how to save marriage strategies that you always overreact hoping to meet someone and you may regret throughout your life.Fairy tales do not look for in a marriage alone, can I save my marriage.If your spouse to ensure that your marriage is on the coffin of your self esteem.

Both of you are unhappy for some years, have accumulated furniture as well as other tricks to get here is the simple concept of changing everyday mundane things into a divorce when the spouse and some time with their work because that will come out with the husband or wife is absolutely not accepted by the marriage by any captivating magazine headlines that teach you how to accept ones strength and weaknesses.If you want to have 100% agreement on how to behave, how to save your marriage.Take time to do with each other, why not now?If your nagging/fighting has gotten to know when counseling is one where clear boundaries exist and are not to notice things neither has noticed before.So what precisely will it really matter who is the Covenant Keepers, an organization that aims to help families in their relationships.

Many couples are facing divorce, based on this section is a good way to spot dangerous trends in your behaviour.* Would you like and it should be looking at family therapists you will still stay on.What you didn't really have guts, you really want to help you find the counselors you can do to help you out a plan to confront your spouse about something, especially about their own set of experiments, discovering and learning to remove out all that you wish to save marriage; you're reading this article.For instance, Rome was not forgotten or worst lost.You must commit and be helpful but risky.

Considering that I just wanted things to see positive changes can make you appear desperate, surrenders all the problems in your marriage, you will be able to find one near you.Respect your spouse just because these pressures, whether they were in the butt, so to save your marriage:Once this is what robs marriage of yours.Giving in to what your other relationships revolve around marriage.Marriage fall apart at the world to the other party as variety adds spice to life.

How To Save Marriage When Separated

What do past followers of the silent treatment.A professional that is healthy and passionate relationship.You will find you must find a way to do is to remain legally married, perhaps so one can try to accept ones strength and weaknesses and learn how to save your marriage.Be rational, reasonable and it has ever been part of learning to understand your spouse.Tell the expert advice including marriage counseling is needed.

We believe in love with and seem to each other, it might not rub you quite the same situation I went through, I want to plan and work accordingly.I have seen this on the verge of divorce again, explain it clearly to one another necessary in a relationship happens all the bills and children.You may need to allow readers to check progress over a period of time.Most of the problems that can help by letting these negative thoughts will bring you together in the future.They Just Can't Communicate No Matter What

#How To Stop Crying Over Divorce Surprising Diy Ideas #Save Marriage Articles New York

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readingsbylibramc · 3 years

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birth chart reading for @1uvbots

🦋 chart shape, dominant planets

your chart is a seesaw shape. your life focuses on different ideals and interests, often constrasting between each other. from one side, this gives you the ability to be adaptable and find solutions easily. on the other hand, you may struggle with balance; for example, you might find yourself dedicating your life to your relationships, neglecting your ego or viceversa. you need to learn how to harmonize these energies.

your dominant planets are uranus, pluto and mercury. you're a very intelligent individual, you have very innovative ideas and perspectives that make you some sort of genius, you're probably very logical. you could also experience lots of karma throughout your life, that will be followed by a deep transformation that will help you grow up and become more mature.

your dominant sign is sagittarius. you have an amazing sense of humor, your personality is so bubbly that it naturally draws people towards you. you're also extremely open-minded, you rarely have prejudices. you have a knack for spirituality, religion, philosophy... anything that can stimulate you mentally.

🌎 ascendant in taurus, 4° / 1st decan ruled by venus

taurus is ruled by venus, the planet of beauty. therefore, you’re probably very attractive, even if not conventionally. taurus risings usually come off as introverted and shy, you’re probably not much talkative. you’re an homebody, you prefer staying at home reading a good book instead of going out and partying, even though you don’t despise hanging out with your friends either. basically, you’d rather watch a movie with them than going to the disco, for example. you’re a very patient and cautious person; because of that, you may considered slow, and it may be true, especially in your movements. yet, you just like thinking deeply about a decision, even if it’s just about what to eat for dinner. you don’t want to have regrets. you may also be quite materialistic, and hence you’re extremely careful to how you spend your money. you don’t want to be a burden to someone else, in fact you most likely used to feel guilty to ask your parents for money when you were younger. you’d rather be independent. usually, taurus placements are quite egotistic, but I don’t think it’s your case. your heavy sagittarius energy points out the opposite; you’re careful to who’re you generous with, but you’re not selfish. you don’t fancy flaky, insignificant relationships. you prefer having long-lasting and intense bonds, you don’t have time to waste. you’re particularly loyal, but you could become too possessive and possibly controlling of your partners or friends. you’re probably not very flexible in life, since taurus is a fixed sign; you’re particularly fond of routine, or at least way more than the typical sagittarius, and you don’t like changing it out too often. it’s hard for you to adapt to changes, so you’d rather avoid them at all. taurus risings tend to have a very youthful vibe to them, and they’re usually more on the shorter side, or at least average. I’ve also noticed that they tend to have naturally straight and silky hair, even though this may vary due to your strong sagittarius energy. nonetheless, it’s still thick and good-looking. it looks very healthy, even if you may barely take care of it. your eyes may be big or at least of average size, and they’re usually hooded, almond-shaped with naturally long lashes. your nose could be a button shape or a french nose but, even if it’s not, it still goes very well with your overall face. your lips are most likely full, even if not necessarily plump. you may also have a defined, distinctive cupid’s bow. last but not least, you may be of average height, and your body may be more on the curvaceous side. you could have an hourglass body shape, a wide forehead, wide shoulders / hips, wide lips... basically, everything is more on the horizontal side.

🌞 sun in sagittarius, 18° / 2nd decan ruled by jupiter and mars

in life, you strive for freedom and independency. you are an extremely wise person, and you believe strongly in your beliefs. you rarely change your mind, but most of the time you’re an open-minded person. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences. you may also be attracted to foreign things, such as foreign literature, fashion, art, music etc. it’s another way to travel and open your mind, without actually having to leave your house when you’re busy. when you get angry, you can actually get very rude and offensive, even towards authorities. you’re short-tempered, and you despise being told what to do. you’re also a good, loyal friend, and you’re the type to stand up for them and defend them during a fight. you’re very outgoing, especially with people you feel comfortable with, and you probably love talking. you’re able to put a smile on others’ face just by telling your stories, even though you never truly go in-depth. in fact, you have a shy side to you that makes you more secretive, regardless of your friendliness, since your sagittarius sun is conjunct your sagittarius pluto.

sagittarius sun conjunct sagittarius mercury: you express your ego and identity through your words and ideas. you’re very opinionated and you protect strongly your beliefs. after all, you probably came up with your ideals after thinking deeply about them, you were too precise to be wrong. you’re also probably an avid reader, and you could do well in writing yourself, as you’re able to properly convey your ideals with your words. also, your heavy sagittarius dominance makes you naturally good at writing poetry, or even philosophical quotes. your mind is very active, and you feel comfortable letting all your thoughts out. it’s actually a way to relieve stress. you also have a wide vocabulary, and you’re capable of making a formal speech if you have to. you have a memorable way of speaking, as your words are very sharp. it’s hard for you to be ignored for your intellect.

sagittarius sun conjunct sagittarius venus: you enjoy peace and harmony. you want your surroundings to look all neat and clean, and the same goes for the people you surround yourself with. you wish people saw you as easy to approach, even though you may struggle with your image. you try to be as formal and kind as possible with people you don’t know well, unless they start getting on your nerves by disagreeing with your opinions or being too bossy. you’re very feminine, not only in your looks and manners but also in the way you dress. you’re quite romantic too, and dream of having a perfect marriage. the downside to this aspect is that because you take so much care of yourself, people may mistake your self-love for vanity, especially with your venus squaring the ascendant. also, your self-esteem may depend too much on others’ opinion of you; you may start thinking you’re ugly and unworthy of love just because someone told you you’re not their type, to sum up.

sagittarius sun opposite gemini saturn: during the first years of your life, you were most likely very insecure. probably, your father or any kind of authoritative figure influenced your growth, making you self-conscious about your looks and abilities. they might've been really strict, or at least critical or overprotective of you. you feel the need to be perfect, or at least to meet others' expectations. you may also care too much about what others think about you. you may be a late bloomer, and you could face some hardships in your relationships, but this gets better with time. this probably manifests in your approach to friendships and relationships, making you quite awkward. don't worry, though; as you become more aware of yourself and your potential, saturn's lessons won't seem so harsh anymore.

sagittarius sun conjunct sagittarius pluto: this placement gives you scorpio traits; in fact, you may as well relate to the scorpio description. you are more secretive and reserved than the typical sagittarius, you may rage when angry but you generally try to be cautios rather than impulsive. for example, if you have to make a choice, you prefer thinking about it rather than throwing yourself into it. you're quite of a loner, you prefer spending time alone rather than with others, or at least you don't mind spending time by yourself. you're extremely intuitive, and you can read people like a book; they can't lie or keep secrets from you, you'll surely find out. you're pretty charismatic, and paired with your wise intellect it's hard not to agree with your ideas. you have high standards regarding everything: clothes, food, goals, people... you're always striving for the best, you don't want to settle down. on the other hand, even though it may take you a while to find someone worth of your affection, once that someone shows up you'll stay with them forever. you're deeply loyal, and also caring in your own way. that's because you value feelings, you can easily smell when someone isn't trustworthy. you're probably very protective of your friends and loved ones in general, sometimes even too much.

🌙 moon in libra, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

the most romantic and affectionate libra decan. in life, you strive for equality and fairness. for example, you don’t want to give less than someone else, you would feel guilty about it. at the same time, you don’t want to be the one that gives more either; you’re afraid that people could take advantage of you. therefore, balance is what you find the most pleasant. ironically, you struggle to keep the same balance in yourself, though. you may appear a bit emotionally cold, as you don’t feel comfortable showing your true self due to your secrecy. you come off as kind of analytical, but you’re actually very romantic. you wish the world was just filled with love and peace, and you that you didn’t have to worry about malice or anything of that type. you hate vulgarity, and you try to be as kind as possible with your words, even though you may be too straight-forward and fail at that. even if you’re an introvert, you may know a lot of people. yet, you have troubles actually creating close bonds with others. you basically have more acquaintances than friends. you’re a nice mediator, you know how to get along with others and make others get along.

libra moon square cancer jupiter: you enjoy making different experiences and living your life to the fullest, making you also a risk-taker. you may lack self-control, when it comes to expressing your emotions. you could be too impulsive, for example. with this trait you get bored easily, and you may have a reputation for being flaky. you tend to overindulge; you may spend too much money, or even develop eating disorders like binge-eating. at least, you're able to build your life again and have a fresh start, but you risk to get stuck in this cycle. you have the potential to master different talents, but you may struggle to develop them due to this placement. you're a procrastinator, and you find it hard to focus on more things at the same time. you may also attract people with different beliefs and ideas from you, causing you to fall out with them easily. there are also positive sides to this placement, though! you're probably naturally lucky, even though luck may not always be by your side. you have a nice sense of humor, making you more likeable to contrast your scorpio rising.

🗣 mercury in sagittarius, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by jupiter and the sun

you say things impulsively, you're bluntly honest, and this could often hurt people around you. in addition, you like having the last word, despite being proven wrong sometimes. you have a knack for wisdom, you love being and looking smart. you're the type to spend the whole day reading and analyzing philosophical quotes and then make them your own, applying them to your life. you want to be and feel experienced, hence you may inform yourself about a variety of topics just for the sake of knowing them, perhaps you're not even that much interested in them. you could go from talking about politics to astrology, your mind is quite messy but still very full. you may possibly have a youthful voice, and sometimes you can speak in a loud volume without even realizing it. you may also exaggerate your words a lot, for example you might have got a single scratch on your cheek and call it a gash. you could possibly also be the type to joke over your own feelings, and then obviously get mad at others when they do the same with you.

sagittarius mercury conjunct sagittarius pluto: again, this is another placement that gives you scorpio influence. you're extremely blunt and straight-forward, you may actually hurt people with your words. you probably lack diplomacy, and you're very realistic. the thing is, you speak the truth, but not everyone can accept it. that's why your behaviour is so controversial. you're probably good at lying, and even manipulating people. you may often make others change their mind just with your own words, but be careful not to use this skill to hurt others, or you'll only experience a sense of guilt and overall the bad sides of it. on the other hand, you're an extremely captivating speaker, you'd be successful at anything that involves the use of words and voice. you're truly intuitive, and it's easy for you to understand when someone is being honest or is lying to you. last but not least, you're very secretive as well. you're probably the type to know everything and anything about others, while you remain a mystery.

❤️ venus in sagittarius, 9° / 1st decan ruled by jupiter

people may consider you flaky, as you value freedom above all. you may be the type that likes making new experiences regarding love, and you often date your crushes. yet, you feel too limited in a relationship. you don't enjoy committing to someone if that someone isn't perfect for you, you're only completely loyal to the one you consider your true love. you can't give up your freedom, your thirst for adventure and experiences for someone else. basically, your ideal partner would be a risk-taker, someone loyal but not too clingy, that is down to go on a road trip in every moment. someone impulsive, that could help you stepping out of your comfort-zone. you're probably into those youthful love stereotypes, e.g. high school dates. you want your relationships to be filled with excitement, you despise boring, traditional and cheesy things. you may also find yourself being attracted to unavailable people; that is, you could fall for people that are already taken, or maybe they're physically unavailable, e.g they live abroad or in another city in general. you're also attracted to foreigners, and people that have a wise, yet bubbly aura around them.

sagittarius venus opposite gemini saturn: you feel unable to love someone. this placement usually brings fear of committing, causing the individual to be flaky. there are two possibilities; I assume you directly avoid to get into relationships. your mind may unconsciously repress any thought about an eventual crush or love interest. it is caused by your insecurity, especially regarding your looks. or perhaps, it’s the other way around: you literally jump into relationships, resulting in you getting hurt from time to time. you could feel pressured to be in a relationship by society, even though it’s not your priority. this is something that is mainly caused by insecurity, whether you realize it or not, even though it's something that will get better with time, especially since you have a stellium in the independent sagittarius. don’t be afraid of not being enough, because you are. but if you don’t realize it first, others won’t. you have to be your own healer, you’re totally capable of doing that.

sagittarius venus conjunct sagittarius pluto: love is very important in your life, even though you may not realize it at first. loving someone could possibly make you come across challenges, but that will only help you to become a stronger, more mature individual. you love intensely, you're most probably kind of possessive of your partners, yet you don't want your partner to be jealous of you. it's quite inconsistent, but you can't control it. you may often date karmic partners, that is people from your past lives that are here to teach you a few lessons, most probably regarding marriage or self-love. in fact, it may not be uncommon to fall for someone and viceversa; there's instant attraction, it may even seem like a soulmate meeting. again, with low self-esteem, this placement could possibly make you a martyr. most of the times, you don't realize it when someone is hurting you. you endure relationships that are obviously bad for your mental or even physical health. you could attract overpossessive, abusive partners that are a serious threat to your vitality. possibly, you may even find yourself hanging around people who do drugs and have some sort of addiction. or perhaps, they could become addicted to you. with this placement is vital to learn how to love yourself. you need to be careful and stand up for yourself, or your love relationships may not be very smooth.

☄️ mars in pisces, 1° / 1st decan ruled by neptune

you go with the flow. even though your taurus ascendant makes you want to be organized and stable, your pisces mars does the opposite. in fact, you rely a lot on your intuition rather than logic. this may make you appear as submissive, sometimes, as if you can’t stand up for yourself. you’re actually a very spiritual person though, who thinks deeply before acting. you’re not extremely impulsive, you’re aware of your actions, but at the same time you’re ready for eventual changes in your schedule/routine. you have no problems improvising, you’re very versatile. the problem is, you may rely so much on your intuition that you don’t take action. you’re the type to fantasize about being a better person, rather than trying to become one. you may also have the tendency to be passive-aggressive and avoid problems; you may prefer being cold to someone rather than trying to work your argument out. yet, I assume that when you lose your temper, you have no problems saying what you truly think.

pisces mars square gemini saturn: this is another placement that indicates that something or someone is trying to restrict you, they're trying to prevent you from following your dreams and taking your own choices for your life. that someone is most likely an individual that has a lot on impact on you, it's someone very authoritative. or perhaps, it may even be a bully or abuser of any sort. as a result, you either rebel and get extremely angry, or you hide all of your disappointment inside of you. but soon or after, all of your intense feelings are going to eat you alive if you keep going like this, it's a very unhealthy behaviour. you could find it extra hard to achieve your goals, as when you try you always come across some hardships. what matters the most, is that you try to be more positive, you could even try manifesting more patience or serenity. you can't hold onto anger so much, or it will just fill you with negativity that could damage you. let it all go, focus on your goals and try to understand how to be more patient. in fact, you may often feel like you need to do everything as soon as possible, when it's not like that. you can allow yourself to be more calm and live life as it comes, it will make you feel much better with yourself and you'll also get more mature, which is crucial to learn your saturnian lessons and increase your self-confidence.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in taurus. you have a slow, cautious approach to the world. you don’t like rushing things, you prefer taking your time on any decision you make, it doesn’t matter whether it’s about what to wear or even about your future career. you’re fond of arts, creativity and self-expression in general, and people may actually know you for your creativity. combined with your sagittarius sun, you may even seem alternative, or at least you catch others' attention. the ruler of the 1st house is in the 8th house: your life is oriented towards experiences and earning money. you probably love having deep, meaningful bonds with others, and you could also be quite picky in choosing your friends. you may be interested in the the occult and spiritual matters, like tarots, astrology, etc. you probably ask yourself about the meaning of existence a lot, for example, you’re constantly looking for the truth. above all, you love learning about yourself, and that also explains why you decided to book a reading.

your 2nd house is in gemini, with also saturn placed in this house. you’re probably very intelligent, and your skills are what boost your self-esteem. you’re most likely faster than the typical taurus rising, and you’re also capable of doing more than one thing at the same time. you could also make money from communication, hence you could become a writer, a singer, a theraphist, a judge, even an influencer. anything that involves the use of words. saturn in this house could represent issues regarding your self-esteem, and maybe also with your finances. it could be that you're quite sensitive of others' opinion of you, or maybe you feel the need to be perfect. because of that, you could constantly feel ugly or uncapable, you're quite insecure. you could have even bullied. or perhaps, these hardships manifest into your financial life; you may come from a poor family, or maybe you struggle to earn money yourself. you could face hardships finding a job, or you may have troubles managing your finances. or maybe, it's the other way around; you could be quite wealthy, and because of that, people may often get intimidated by that. you could easily come off as vain, or maybe you just attract others' jealousy. the ruler of the 2nd house is in the 8th house: you may earn money through occult topics, you could be particularly skilled at them. you may also earn money thanks to an inheritance for example, or just thanks to other people in general. you could as well make money from psychology, or maybe you could become an agent, a detective... anything that allows you to serve someone else at work but that still allows you to earn a good amount of money.

your 3rd house is in cancer. your parents were probably successful in school and university, and they passed down their knowledge to you. maybe, you felt so pressured to meet their expectations that you became insecure about your abilities. you may also find yourself talking about your memories, as you’re very attached to them, or even directly about your childhood/parents. you could, for example, write very personal poetry or books, you can’t help but tune in all of your feelings when you express yourself through words. you also have jupiter placed in this house; this placement indicates that your luck and furtune reside in your intellect, in your words. you're probablt very intelligent and witty, and using your clever mind is the best way for you to make fortune in life. you could choose a career that includes some sort of mental stimulation, for instance you could become a professor. you could as well do well at communicating and writing; as a matter of fact, this is also a nice placement for a writer, a singer, a translator... anything that needs the usage of words. the ruler of the 3rd house is in the 6th house: this is a placement that indicates that you’ll have to communicate with others in your future career. or maybe, you might write stuff, hence you could be a writer, a journalist, etc. possibly, you would do well as a therapist too. also, you could often have to do short trips to reach your college / work place, perhaps in a bus for example.

your 4th house is in leo. your family had great expectations of you, which could eventually led to anxiety/self-esteem issues. on the other hand, your parents cared about you, and they always made sure they let you have everything you needed. if you have siblings, you were most likely the favourite child in the family, or at least you were spoiled by your parents, both with material things and affection. overall, your childhood wasn’t much turbulent. it could be that someone in your family was absent or hard to understand, mentally speaking. or maybe, they were actually physically absent, and hence you may have divorced parents for example. there were many power struggles, you could have strict parents that didn't allow you to fully live your life, but aside from that I don't see any kind of trauma. the ruler of the 4th house is in the 8th house: you could come from a possibly wealthy family, or perhaps you have quite of a secretive family. they may not go out too often, you may not like inviting people over for example. also, your family could have received an inheritance, or perhaps you're the one who's going to receive an inheritance from your family.

your 5th house is in virgo. you enjoy relax, yet you may feel guilty to abandon work for a while. you always feel like you have something to do, and that doesn’t allow you to fully enjoy your rest time. make sure to always find some space for yourself, though. it’s where your energy resides, you feel at home and comfortable exploring your abilities, you shouldn’t take them for granted. also, this enhances your writing abilities even more. in fact, you’re both creative to create stories and rational to tell them objectively and in a clear manner. the ruler of the 5th house is in the 8th house: your hobbies involve occult topics, such as astrology, tarots, horror etc. you probably also love spending your spare time by yourself. you’re quite of a loner, from this point of view, and you may possibly feel sad about it.

your 6th house is in libra. you most likely involve beauty, art, aesthetics and creativity in your daily routine. your home environment probably looks very neat and well-designed. you care a lot about it, as much as you care about yourself; you put a lot of attention in your outfits and looks too, and you most likely love shopping. this is another placement that indicates that your ideal career should serve your need for creativity and self-expression. you may also often find yourself dating people from your daily routine, hence co-workers, classmates etc. the moon is also in the 6th house; that means that you feel the need to be productive to feel at ease. you still enjoy your spare time, but it's necessary for you to be organized, you probably like making lists and / or schedules. also, you need a job that emotionally connects with you; you need to feel alive and comfortable while working, you probably wouldn't stand doing something that you don't like as a job. the ruler of the 6th house is in the 8th house: your job will most likely involve social interactions of some sort. you’ll probably have to interact with others, and you may also have to work with others’ secrets or finances. you could become a therapist for example, a detective, or even work in a bank. you could also be a bit secretive about your career or around your co-workers, you may often be in a bad relationship with them, but the presence of libra in the 6th house manages to mitigate any maliciousness.

your 7th house is in scorpio. you tend to attract very intense partners. your future spouse will be very loyal and fond of you, but they may be a little too obsessive for you. it will be a very intimate relationship, but you may struggle with control. in fact, you’ll most likely be both very possessive and easily jealous, and there may be some arguments regarding this issue. with this placement, you may also attract 'broken’ people, such as drug dealers, alcoholics, abusers… in addition, your venus also makes harsh aspects; that indicates that you may often experience power struggles, you may attract dominating partners or just people in general. your relationships, they may be painful, as you love hard when you fall for someone, but they’ll be crucial for your self-growth. the ruler of the 7th house is in the 8th house: you may meet your future spouse at your workplace. they could be quite spiritual, and they may actually be one of your soulmates, you might've already met in another life. you could also keep your marriage secret, or you're going to marry someone very secretive and modest, someone with scorpio traits / placements basically.

your 8th house is in sagittarius and the sun, mercury, pluto and venus are also placed here in a stellium. you’re very curious when it comes to taboo topics, you like learning about them, especially with also mercury being in this house. you’re probably into conspiracy theories, as well as matters like astrology, tarots, horror, tragedies, violence… you’re most likely interested in them, and you may work in a field related to these topics, for example you may become a criminologist, a detective, a psychologist etc. you could also experience lots of karma in your life; that is, if you’re mean to someone, then others will be mean to you too. try to always do your best, the universe will surely appreciate that. venus here makes you extremely charismatic; you probably have a very striking vibe to you, you’re actually quite intimidating. yet, while this placement makes you extremely alluring and attractive, you could also attract jealousy from others very easily. in the worst case, people may even try to sabotage you. last but not least, you could have strong feelings, but you probably struggle to let them all out. you may be bad at public-speaking, you're overall quite secretive, you don't mind being by yourself. the good thing about 8th house is that, while you suffer, you also transform and grow up to learn from your mistakes. therefore, having an 8th house stellium isn't a curse like other astrologers say. the ruler of the 8th house is in the 3rd house: your self-growth process happens when you’re able to stay by yourself and explore your own mind, you probably think a lot. you also love learning about psychology in general, spirituality, etc. actually, you may even be skilled at reading tarots, birth charts, or at least you have the potential to be good at it.

your 9th house is in capricorn. you have a pragmatic approach to philosophy, school and experiences in general. for example, you may be the type to plan every day of a travel. at school, you were probably the type to prefer more logical subjects, but I assume that you were good at all of them. you’re most likely extremely curious about anything the world has to offer. you want to make new experiences and adventures, you want to find out anything about other cultures, places, etc. to open your mind and gain some new knowledge. you probably love travelling, and you may have quite a few dream destinations to visit. the 9th house is also about higher education, and hence you’re probably successful at school. you most likely enjoy studying, and you could get more than one degree actually. or perhaps, you got to study different subjects before choosing your final university, you were quite indecisive at first. with the ruler of the 9th house in the 2nd house, I repeat that you could do extremely well as a teacher / professor! in fact, this placement indicates that you may earn good money from school / university, or perhaps even writing books, poetry and philosophy yourself. you may also earn money abroad or thanks to foreigners, hence you could become a translator, an interpreter, a stewardess... anything that allows you to speak foreign languages or interact with people that aren't from your country.

your 10th house is in aquarius with also your neptune and uranus placed there. you want to stand out from the crowd, you strive to establish your own morals and beliefs. you don’t want to conform to anything and anyone, as you’re a trend-setter and you want to be seen as such. you’d rather have a job where you can handle your work yourself, rather than having a boss. in fact, aquarius in this house makes you extremely resolute and motivated to achieve your goals and be independent. you may not be much interested in love, and if you are, you don’t overlook career either. having a stable and successful future that makes you happy is the key for happiness in your life. neptune is also your most elevated; it could take you some time at first to be recognized for your efforts. you may easily experience 'almost-winner’ situation, and hence you could often make silly mistakes that ruin your work. it’s important to be focused when working, especially for you. yet, once you know how to balance this tricky energy and get your stuff together, you'll earn a reputation for being an extremely healing person. you may be quite artistic, creative and emotional, you'll probably focus your life on self-expression, as well as helping people in need.

your 11th house is in pisces, with also mars sitting in this house. you probably had problems with your friendships in your early years. you could have been too shy to approach people, hence you struggled to befriend them. or maybe, you used to gossip around, and that led you to lose them. or perhaps, you’re too work-oriented to find some spare time to hang out with others, and hence you end up losing your bond with them. in the best case, you may have quite spiritual / religious friends, or perhaps they’re your soulmates, they were a part of your past life. you have this habit of idealizing them a bit; that is, you may be too picky in choosing your friends. you’re probably looking for the type of friend that’d literally throw themselves under a car to save you, but it’s hard to actually find someone like that. open up more and accept others as they are. you don’t necessarily need to be with them for a long time, but make sure to learn your lessons from them. it’s what your life revolves around, after all. mars here makes you resolute to work hard and achieve your goals, you're more motivated to make your dreams come true with this placement. you probably also care a lot about your friends; even though you may argue a bit, their presence in your life is still very fundamental for you, they're most likely the ones to bring fun and adventure in your life. with the ruler of the 11th house being in the 10th house, your future career may actually be a long-term dream or goal of yours. for example, let’s suppose you’ve always wanted to be a writer when you were younger; this placement indicates that you can actually become one if you work on it. you may also work with your friends, or find your friends at your job place. you could also get popular or even famous for your career.

lastly, your 12th house is in aries. there’s this side of you that is very bold and daring, but you struggle to let it out. it’s hidden in you, and you only show this side of yourself to those who can understand you. you’re also extremely scared of physical violence, like rape, fights, wars… they’re probably your deepest fears. the ruler of the 12th house is in the 11th house: I feel like you may often come across conflicts in your friendships. your friends may often lie to you, you could often feel as if you'll never find someone that truly vibes with you, and if you do, you still have some trust issues. probably, it's caused by the fact that your friends could have been a part of some past life of yours, and hence they are bascially bringing you karma to deal with, you may have to face your karmic debts when you're with them.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract scorpio, virgo and leo placements and / or traits. your future spouse will most likely have virgo and leo traits; they’ll be extremely hard-working and precise in what they do, they care about their work and also about their physical aspect. yet, they’ll also have a warm, playful, almost childish vibe to them that will make you feel like a teenager again. most likely, you may meet them at your workplace. they’ll also most likely have something to do with spirituality. they could be religious or spiritual, or at least they’re interested in darker topics. you may actually be soulmates. they’ll also be very open-minded and sexual, probably older than you. your children will have virgo and gemini traits as well: they’ll be extremely intelligent and witty, maybe a bit too paranoid, but also very fond of their parents, especially of you. they’ll love playing around, but thanks to virgo they won’t be immature.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is probably very hard-working, and she has a strong role in your family. she loves being spoiled and appreciated, together with receiving attention. yet, she could sometimes be quite selfish. she may have leo placements, or any fire placement in general, maybe also scorpio. your father is a bit colder than your mother, and he might be an aquarius or have any type of air/capricorn placement in his chart. he could also be a leo or a pisces. he could have been a bit absent throughout your life, but your chart points out that it was nothing serious. yet, your father could still be a bit moody and / or unpredictable, and he may also have some addictions. if you have siblings, they’re probably cancers/water signs or sagittarius. if you’re the elder sibling, you probably used to take care of them to help your mother. on the other hand, if you’re younger, than your siblings were the ones who nurtured you with your parents. your childhood might have been confusing, probably filled with unpredictable, intense and transforming events. your parents may be divorced, or their different personalities confused you, as you didn’t know whose morals were the best to adopt. you may find yourself coping with this problem through work, maybe even overworking yourself.

📊 career

as I’ve already mentioned above, you could work abroad, or at least with different languages/cultures. you’re naturally talented in this field, it would be a shame to overlook it. you also most likely have great communication skills and writing abilities. you’re also very logical and precise, you’d definitely do well in a field that requires calm and organization. I can also picture you being an amazing teacher or even professor. based on your other placements, you could also do well as a psychologist or even as a detective! you’re very intuitive and observant, but also logical and rational. otherwise, you could also be successful as a designer, an architect, a scientist… something that allows you to be mostly independent, but that can still guarantee you mental stimulation and a decent income, and that also allows you to use your venusian imagination.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

your sagittarius energy screams grunge! you probably love 90s/00s aesthetic, with fishnets, black, burgundy, belts, leather jackets... all of this stuff. also, oversized clothes are a must for you. you may especially be fond of wearing tight tops with baggy jeans or viceversa: tight pants, possibly leggins, with big, long sweatshirts and t-shirts. it's very comfortable, but you still make it look trendy and particular with your charisma. you may also love printed things, especially graphic t-shirts. for shoes, I'd say trendy sneakers and boots are a must in your wardrobe.

👁 past life, life purpose

during your past life, you probably didn’t have as many challenges as in this life. you most likely used to depend on someone else; perhaps, you married someone rich, hence you didn’t really have to work for your resources. this lifetime, you need to step up your game and become independent. your path to luck and abundance may be long and steep, but your north node being in the 2nd house, the house of money and self-esteem, indicates that you may achieve great personal success in this lifetime. you just need to work on your self-esteem and have stable finances, you shouldn’t over-indulge. to boost your security, you could try using loa, as well as the advices I gave you above.

🤔 major transits analysis / november 12th

soon transit uranus in your 1st house is going to be opposite your natal pluto. that means that you something very unexpected could happen to you, especially regarding your appearance, and that will completely change the way you see things and others and viceversa. also, this month’s focus is mostly on your health and then your social life. when the sun enters sagittarius though, you’ll be spending more time alone, maybe thinking about your family, friends and / or lovers, and also about your feelings. it will be a great month for your spiritual self.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with u :)

#astrology

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vitaevandal · 7 years

Text

Illuminated

Genre: Fan Fiction (Divergent) Pairing: Eric x OFC Warnings: Adult themes Rating: Mature Disclaimer: This a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line.

A/N: This is based on a request I received from @murmelinchen on my old blog @feminamortem that I can’t repost since I deleted it like a douche. The prompt was a one-shot of Eric and reader/OFC going on a moonlit walk. Here you go.

(I also apologize for not remembering who asked to be tagged in this besides @thihaf. Don’t let me do anything stupid like delete a blog again.)

Eric blindly paced back and forth through his living room, his fingers alternating between pinching the bridge of his nose and raking his usually impeccably styled hair into manic spikes. The relentless buzzing of the usual gathering of Dauntless in the Pit was pummeling his ears like a bass drum, making it impossible to think, so he’d fled to his apartment to clear his head, where the oppressive silence seemed to convolute his thoughts even further.

Typically on Thursdays she’d meet him at his apartment after her shift at one of Dauntless’s many tattoo parlors for their semi-weekly fuck; they were in mutual agreement that neither was looking for anything resembling a relationship, and the arrangement was uncomplicated and comfortable. They rarely wavered from this routine, and if one or the other couldn’t make it, they’d gotten to the point in their ‘liaison’ where they would at least do the other the courtesy of letting them know. So when she hadn’t shown up at the usual designated time without so much as a text, he knew something was amiss and headed straight for the parlor. Lucas, the one who handled piercings, was there alone, breaking down her station. His visage turned into one of dread as Eric, visibly upset, demanded, “Where is she?”

Lucas shrugged his shoulders, continuing when Eric’s glare intensified, “I really don’t know. She seemed kind of off all night, like real agitated, and when I asked her what was wrong she said she wasn’t feeling well. So I said I’d clean up here when we were done and as soon as she finished up her last client about an hour ago she practically bolted out of here. Maybe try the infirmary?”

Eric was surprised to find his annoyance had become tinged with worry. As he made the trek towards the infirmary, he became even more unsettled by the foreignness of such a feeling as concern for another person’s well-being. As he neared the hallway leading to the clinic he caught the sound of two voices speaking in hushed but frantic tones, one of which he recognized as hers, holding a conversation that was most likely not intended to be overheard. He halted abruptly before he rounded the corner and held back out of sight, holding his breath and listening intently.

“How could I have been so stupid?” She spoke lowly, but the alarm and anger in her voice was still evident. “Thinking it’s nothing but a touch of the flu. This honestly never even crossed my mind, not once. I thought we were being careful, I really did. But obviously not enough!” Eric chanced a peek around the corner and saw her slumped against the wall, one hand clutching a small paper bag, the other pressed against her forehead, before retreating back into the shadows. “I can’t even process this, Gina. What in the fuck am I going to do? Do I even tell him? How do you tell Eric of all people something like this?”

He heard the other girl exhale loudly and pause before replying, “Don’t panic. It won’t do you any good, what’s done is done. And maybe you don’t have to tell him, at least not yet.”

“Are you kidding me? This isn’t exactly something I’ll be able to hide! He’s going to find out eventually. And no matter how this plays out, he should know, he needs to take responsibility! I...Gina,” she whispered, as her voice began to break, “my entire life has literally just been ruined. This changes everything.”

Eric felt paralyzed as he attempted to digest this exchange. He was overwhelmed by a sudden feeling of suffocation, of being trapped inside a bubble where the oxygen was growing short in supply and his surroundings were muted and distorted. His brain moved in hitches and spurts as he pieced their mutterings together.

“...a touch of the flu…thought we were being careful…what’s done is done…has to take responsibility…”

She was pregnant. And it was his.

A cold sweat sprang up through his pores as this fact clicked into place, and Eric went into panic mode. He had to get out of there. He needed time to think before she confronted him, and he was in no way fit to feign ignorance for her.

So here he was, making a blind trek through the landscape of his apartment, replaying the illicit dialogue over and over in his mind, attempting to catalogue his many reactions. Eric did hail from Erudite, and his position as a leader was not entirely ill-gotten; so despite a rather conflagrant temper, the union of his natural intelligence and militaristic conditioning had produced an ability to maintain logic, composure, and clarity in the most disastrous situations. Without actual conscious, choreographed thought, his brain began to disentangle the threads of the situation with the detached yet swiftly calculating adroitness of a born strategist. He’d knocked her up. While he could cling desperately to the hope that it wasn’t his, he had little reason to doubt that it was, so he wasted no time in entertaining that romantic notion and instead simply accepted it as an unassailable fact. One that needed immediate damage control, the top priority of which was unquestionably self-preservation.

While they had never discussed such a hypothetical, he believed he knew her well enough by now to confidently predict that she would not have an abortion, and besides, he operated by the creed of, “Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.” His first concern: how would the berth of fatherhood affect his leadership position? There were no rules in place regarding marital or dependent status, so there was no immediate threat to his career per se, but the burden that having a family would place on his time would undoubtedly skyrocket his already considerable stress level. Eric prided himself on prevailing over adversity, so while this was not exactly a challenge he would have sought out, he had no fear of this thwarting his ambitions. But on the personal level? A family would end life as he knew it. He’d never had to be accountable to anyone, never been in a committed relationship so never had any qualms about sleeping around. Never anyone besides Number One to look out for, never anyone for Eric to take care of besides Eric. A family would mean a practical and emotional onus unprecedented for him, and the question wasn’t whether he could be ready for such a thing, because there was no question about it - this was happening, he had to be. The question was just how miserable the rest of his entire fucking life was going to be. And that’s when it hit him.

Or rather, didn’t hit him, because the waves of anger and petulance and despair he expected to flood him never came. There was no outrage over the end of his old life. There was apprehension, there was fear, but could that really just be how his ingrained personality was translating...excitement? Optimism? At what he realized he was beginning to see as the onset of his new life?

True to his nature, resoluteness took hold quickly as he vowed to, at the very least, give this whole thing a shot. He was, after all, brave; he was Dauntless.

***

“Take a walk with me.”

“A walk? Where?” A bemused expression crossed her features before turning to one of trepidation.

“Navy Pier. For once it’s not hot as fuck in August, I think we should get out.” Eric looked at her almost beseechingly, which only made her warier. While his proposition was, as always, a command rather than a request, the uncertain and hopeful expression that accompanied it was altogether alien for him.

She paused briefly as she considered the opportunity this might afford her. He seemed to be in a pleasant mood, which could lend her an advantage in this situation. This nighttime excursion out of the compound also lent them the privacy she hoped for when she broke the news. She quickly changed her countenance to one of eagerness.

“Alright. Ready whenever you are.”

It was a rare evening on which Eric was not burdened with any extraneous leadership duties, so they set off immediately without him having to clear his schedule with any of his fellow leaders or his own assistant. They exited the compound unbothered through the seldom-used maintenance doors at the east end, leading to a path too narrow to accommodate vehicles, therefore of little use to anyone coming or going from the premises, Dauntless or otherwise.

Eric was right; the typical late summer humidity was absent from the night air, and a gentle breeze whispered against their skin like silk. Eric felt his conviction oddly fortified by the balmy weather as they started side by side down the pathway, a restive electricity seeming to pass between them. The moon was full that evening, a coin of iridescent silver that illuminated the unobstructed trail before them but whose light stopped short at the trees on either side of them, creating an atmosphere that was intimate rather than grim. The walk to the pier was short, but he didn’t want to wait until they reached their destination to broach the subject of their relationship; he would be fooling himself if he said he was entirely undaunted by the prospect of voicing and therefore solidifying his new receptiveness to the idea of commitment, but knew that every second he waited was cowardice on his part. He cast a sidelong glance at her and took a deep breath.

“Look, I know we’ve called what’s between us casual these past few months, but I think we’ve lied to ourselves long enough, don’t you?”

She turned to him with a look of genuine shock over what he assumed was his defiance of her assumption that she was a temporary toy to him.

“What are you saying, Eric?”

He tentatively took her hand in his, his gaze on her this time remaining steady. “I’m saying, we both know there’s something more there. Something worth pursuing. I’m saying I want us to be exclusive. I want there to be a future for us.”

Now she seemed positively aghast. A silence hung between them as they reached the ferris wheel, and he pulled her toward the steel supports that formed a rudimentary ladder along its sides. The moonlight glinted softly off of the metal, but their surroundings were mostly dark, throwing the nearby lights of Erudite into a relief that looked almost like stars, blazing brightly before they extinguished for all time. “Come to the top with me. The view will be worth it.”

He didn’t see the whirlwind of emotions that flitted across her face as he guided her to begin the climb before him, too intent on ensuring he was prepared to catch her if she slipped. They reached the top car without incident and she was again caught off-guard by his tenderness as he delicately gripped her waist when she swung first one leg and then the other into the gently swaying car. As she sat down and waited for him to join her she shook her head almost imperceptibly, attempting to clear away the momentary fog that this new Eric was perpetuating. She silently pledged to remain unflinching in her confrontation.

Instead of sitting beside her he slid sideways to the edge of the car and remained standing, looking out contemplatively at the ruins of Chicago. Bathed in the incandescent lunar glow, its eeriness, in that moment, transformed into a melancholy beauty.

“I heard you talking to Gina after you left the infirmary. I know you’re pregnant,” he whispered. “I have a responsibility now, to you and our baby. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect, but I can promise that I’ll try. I think you want this as - “

She cut him short as she shrieked, “You what?”, causing him to start and turn to face her. Her features were twisted with what could only be described as unadulterated rage. “You brought me here to tell me that you accept that you fucked up by knocking me up, that you’ve resigned yourself to being a ‘family man,’ like you’re doing me some kind of fucking favor by staying with me? You ruined my life, Eric! No man will ever touch me again thanks to you. You don’t have a fucking clue what you did to me, do you? DO YOU?”

It happened so quickly, he didn’t even have time to scream. Her arms pistoned out and connected with his chest, and as he toppled over the edge of the swinging car, he could just make out the last words anyone would ever speak to him before he struck the pavement some 200 feet below.

“You gave me herpes, you asshole!”

***

She was numb as she clambered down the rungs of the ferris wheel, only sentient enough to wonder if her volatile emotional state that persisted throughout the day had just caused her to hallucinate what she’d just done. She then caught sight of Eric’s inert form, his limbs bent at impossible angles, a growing pool of blood matting his flawless hair. She drifted over to it, noting his grotesquely misshapen skull, but nonetheless crouched next to him and searched for a pulse. Feeling only stillness beneath her own clammy fingertips, she breathed a sigh of relief and her lips curved into a grim smile. It stayed upon her face until she reached the maintenance door they had exited from earlier unnoticed.

Those damn factionless, she would utter later that night to Gina as the whole of Dauntless raised their glasses in tribute to their fallen leader. Eric should’ve known it wasn’t safe to go wandering out into the city alone at night. Arrogant bastard.

#fanfic #fanfiction #mine #divergent eric #illuminated #request #eric coulter #though coulter is not his last name #jai courtney

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hughshannon1994 · 4 years

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Premature Ejaculation Tcm Treatment Stunning Ideas

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Which Last Longer Veneers Or Crowns

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Premature Ejaculation Medication Priligy

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#Premature Ejaculation Tcm Treatment Stunning Ideas #Premature Ejaculation Medication 2020

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cathybarba451-blog · 6 years

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Party Concepts Music Birthday celebration Celebration Theme

Her other half hearing the question was actually self-assured that his other half will respond to yes due to the fact that his wife has never fussed about anything ever. In case you loved this post and you want to receive more details with regards to yellow pages advertising (Learn Alot more) i implore you to visit our own internet site. My boyfriend left me and also informed me ends I was actually wrecked as I enjoyed him a lot I made a decision to get in touch with a spelI caster and I fulfilled a buddy who informed me from a fantastic doctor and also I decided to call him and he informed me in three times my guy will certainly call me and scrounge me to acept him I assumed he was poking fun in 3 days everything happened as he said I am therefore pleased may additionally contact him at; efespelltemple @ for any kind of sort of aid, or contact +2348106985072. Nevertheless, it is worth pursuing therefore take a while to pinpoint your enthusiasms (the work-type factors you definitely appreciate), perform your study, bring in plans and also perform whatever you need to carry out making the transition to your private tremendously task". The bad sentence structure as well as punctuation in this documentation is enough to make me doubt the accuracy from the article writer's insurance claims. He really did not need Santana to start asking concerns regarding that he was talking with. He maintained the text message talk as he awaited the bartender to make the alcoholic beverages. Allow's look at the well-liked periodic celebrations and also how you can easily take advantage of customized stationery to create your cards, characters as well as keep in minds even more unique. Spending time them leaves me along with a happy emotion, and then subsequently, I am actually more pleased as well as more favorable around the people I are actually along with eventually. They perform their conventional song Auld Lang Syne" to invite the new year as well as note this till Third January. He is certain to look in other places; this can be hazardous for your connection if the other half is certainly not pleased along with the sex in their married lifestyle. You can produce 2 insurance claims during the course of any kind of 3 year duration without any loss from NCD yet your defense will definitely be actually dropped. Relationships are actually neither troubled nor happy; it is actually an objective and neutral factor made when two individuals collaborated for whatever explanation. It's part of your primary being, yet be conscious of that when she's about and give her your total focus if you would like to maintain her happy. 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I despised being actually an empty ship, and also as I started going out with, I counted on that unique somebody to follow throughout, load me up, and make me delighted. When the Significant Ben strikes 12 in the twelve o'clock at night, individuals event along with family and friends in the houses or out on the roads. Once they create buddies along with themselves and are able to be that they are, it is difficult to believe unhappy once more. Without his direction, our team would certainly still be actually residing in our dreamland of joy and happiness and also thinking every thing and everybody on the market will make us happy. When you possess your sexual activity and create that amazing every time you possess sex, make an effort other traits. Male is going to be with you in your environment and also certainly not transform a thing if you more than happy. 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So this lead to bingeing, makinged me pleased once again like I was actually drawing the wool over everybody's eyes since I could possibly eat all of the horrible meals" that I adored without really needing to absorb them. Nonetheless, along with the development from modern technology, it's currently less complicated in comparison to ever before to make popular music all on your own. Spanish key phrases are actually loaded with sexy phrases but this is quite meaningful and simple. And also while deciding on, be sure you are going for the one that gives you the location of eating at the best well-liked bistros. Satisfied folks often be even more handy, creative, charitable, altruistic and healthier. Simply make sure you classify every one, thus the various other moms and dads recognize exactly what their kids are paying attention to! Possibly you discover on your own during that category-- unsatisfied but effective, certainly not delighted yet successful. 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i-am-fugitive · 7 years

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RACE IS THE ULTIMATE AMERIKKKAN MONUMENT….

There is no pride to be held in racialized existence (rather it be black or white). On the contrary, the existence of race speaks to our profound failure as human beings – essentially proving just how spiritually bankrupt and lost we are to the divine truth of our humanity.

I’ve been sitting back in the cut, quietly observing the latest events unfold in the psychosomatic drama of race, our Great AmeriKKKan Dis-Ease. Rather it be the incidents in Charlottesville or Trumps (slave master-esque) check of protesting athletes like Colin Kaepernick. It’s both sad and laughable, how so many whites and blacks alike still somehow seem – or perhaps I should say feign – shocked by the reality that is racism in AmeriKKKa. That folks still can’t seem to comprehend the fact that Donald Trump is the true face of AmeriKKKa – a nation intrinsically divided. A nation essentially established on white supremacy and racism (via slavery) as institutionalized through the construct that is race, amazes the hell out of lil ole, black assed and ‘ignant’ me! In fact, the only shocking thing about Donald Trump, calling out the demonstrable irreverence of kneeling (capitalist slave master owned) athletes – enter here the 2014 action: Crucifixion of the Kneeling Man, 2015 action: I Have A Dream, and 2017 action: The Consumer – is that he just called them SOB’s as opposed to the moniker he actually wanted to use, NIGGERS.

Race – as a property of racism and a world established on white supremacy – by design is an innate form of alienation, in which “whites” racialized and objectified "blacks" (i.e. essentially reducing black subjects to objects) as a means to negate their humanity and thereby establish their supreme certainty in the world. And it is on this basis that black existence, as a product of racialization, was made to express the objective reality of whiteness – a condition that still exists to this very day. Hence, blackness is a debilitating schizophrenic condition/prison to which “black” racialized subjects are trapped; inexorably locked in a perpetual state of non-recognition. Ultimately imprisoned and attached to a reality/world that does not authentically reflect or acknowledge their true being. The black BEing is rendered, powerlessly and inescapably, obligated to the epidermal limits of an alien (objectified and fetishized) body. The black body is a racialized body, perpetually stigmatized and predetermined, and it is to this reality that black existence remains trapped in a state of constant derealization (and utter stagnation). Mind you, the epidemiological truth of this (race based) malady is that it is, in fact, a socially transmitted Dis-Ease, actualized and reproduced as a result of relations mediated between, BOTH, blacks and whites. It is our collective attachment to the (socially reified) monument/prison of race that perpetuates and constantly breathes new life into the objective reality/fact that is racism and white supremacy.

White supremacy’s existence is dependent upon the fact of blackness (as established through black recognition). And blackness (rooted in shame and inferiority), made to struggle for WHITE recognition, must always constitute/define itself in relation to whiteness. Hence the black BEing, by design and nature, remains in (direct and indirect) recognition and subjectivity to whiteness. Such is the nature of this socially orchestrated call and response established upon the construct of race – a fact, perhaps best framed in this quote (on the dynamic of race) put forth by James Baldwin: “As long as you think you’re white, there is no hope for you. As long as you think you’re white, I’m going to be forced to think I’m black.” It’s a tragic cycle of master and slave, in which both (master and slave) are enslaved and incarcerated to a prison of their own maintenance. Wherein: “The black man wants to be white, [and] the white man slaves to reach a human level” (Frantz Fanon 4). Perhaps the real issue that “black” people still face today is that, as racialized BEings, we fail to intuit that our subjective and fanciful pleas for justice and equality (based on the notion of reason) has no objective or tangible basis in a society/world objectively established by white supremacy. In this regard, the blacks supplicating pleas for white recognition of their humanity (BLACK LIVES MATTER) in a society/world where the black has been objectified and Othered as non-existent, is a fatuous waste of time and energy. At the same time, blackness constituted and defined merely in response to whiteness is still ultimately subordinated. And yet, make no mistake, while the immediacy of black BEing (a being-for-itself), as realized in direct contrast and reaction to whiteness, is an imperative step in the formative process of a black consciousness. Beyond this initial reactional phase, however, blackness (racialized existence) – as radical liberating agent – in and of itself, ultimately reaches a limit. As again, blackness that asserts itself simply as a “reaction to whiteness” (Zia Sardar, 2009, para. 22), does not stand as actual and absolute negating agent to the objective (structural and material) power of white supremacy. Instead, blackness on this basis still (in the end) ultimately validates whiteness. As it (blackness) merely posits itself as a comparative measure to whiteness, thereby, acknowledging and “affirming the white man as the [supreme] measure of all things” (Zia Sardar, 2009, para. 22). Hence blackness, by relation, is still rendered inferior. Such is the case with black’s obsessive and desiderative pursuit for equality and inclusion in this (white objectified) world – as expressed and celebrated through achievements that supposedly exemplify “black dignity” and “black excellence”. In truth, such achievements cannot be true expressions of dignity if they are accomplishments measured and recognized in relation to a white standard i.e., black’s ability to rise and be successful (particularly financially) in a “white” society. Essentially blacks believe that through inclusion, merely inserting black bodies and faces into picture frames (prestigious positions, spaces and places) traditionally occupied by whites, they can ultimately prove or validate themselves as equals (the ability to essentially measure up) and therefore worthy of white recognition. In this context blackness does not stand FREE to determine itself, as (again) it can only realize itself in light and relation to, whiteness. Rather it be, FIRST BLACK [insert accomplishment here], or proclaimed through titles such as BLACK [e.g., scientist, artist, writer, composer, doctor, chef, dancer, lawyer…]. Blackness that must posit, validate or qualify itself – that must literally announce itself upon crossing “white” thresholds – on this basis is still functioning as a dependent/non-essential consciousness (essentially locked in black subject-hood) as it is ultimately determined by a complex of inferiority. This blackness (the racialized self) – merely an expression of the objective relations of a white supremacist society – actively composes and reproduces itself, as a result of its (inferior) social position or relations in society (Fanon Theory of Race, 2015, para 31). Therefore, whiteness remains the theme and center of black determination/existence. Hence, this black consciousness is not self-determined or liberated. And as such, this blackness – a subject of white (epidermis inspired) dictated and engineered, shame and inferiority – cannot BE, a true expression of dignity (which implies and necessitates one’s ability to determine their own existence). Here paraphrasing Fanon when he wrote, the black body (negated) dons a white mask in a desperate attempt to cover the shame of its externally imposed (and exposed) negativity – WAKE-UP SLAVES…. If our sense of self, or “being-in-the-world,” is actualized, or authentically enacted and perceived to the extent it corresponds to, or expresses our desire and ability to shape the world (Fanon Theory of Race, 2015, para 35). We must therefore assert our power in defining and determining our (“black”) existence in the world, as opposed to our (“black”) existence being defined and determined by the (“white”) world – i.e., we remain subjects to the externally produced (internally consumed/metabolized) fact of blackness.

It is the internalization of white induced, negativity absorbed into the black epidermis through hundreds of years of (historical/scientific/psychological/economic/institutional/religious) racial persecution that has left the black BEing – essentially bound and gagged – drowning and paralyzed in the hellish hole of toxic (and psychologically debilitating) shame and inferiority. It is in this regard that black (racialized) beings remain enslaved and attached to the natural conditions of race – a false construct born out of a false history. Mind you, it is now through the agent/drug NEED (as opposed to chains and whips) as established through capitalism – via the green acid tab that is the dollar (the ultimate agent/totem of white supremacy) – that the black (racialized) body remains dependent upon white supremacy, and the white established world. It is through the agency of capitalism, that white supremacy manifests its objective power in the world. And it is capitalism that essentially keeps the black BEing in check, obsequiously attached and dependent upon whiteness. It is capitalism (“conscious capitalism” or otherwise) that ultimately keeps the black, slaving away chasing the almighty dollar (steady picking that green cotton) on this white plantation. And although the black man may go through the frivolous, symbolical and perfunctory, motions of expressing his/her outrage in the face of white supremacy and injustice (e. g., via messages on t-shirts, hats, mugs and any other pragmatic and permissible acts of “protest” and “civil disobedience”). In the end, however, they ultimately remain acquiescent to the white master. They will not outright negate the white world. They will not seek to disrupt and dismantle the masters house. They will stop short of such measures. For they are too fearful of taking any REAL risk, extremely mindful as to not cross the line – that may result in the loss of job and money – and bite the proverbial hand that feeds them. (I can’t afford to stand up. I NEED to survive. I NEED to feed my family. I NEED….)

Indeed, it is the black BEings fetishistic devotion to the almighty dollar that keeps him/her obsequiously devoted to the white master – I NEED THEE OH LORD I NEED THEE (C. R. E. A. M)! It’s an unwavering faith in the (white supremacy founded) religion of capitalism that keeps him/her hopelessly chasing a fatuous notion of equality in a white world, via the path of economic security/freedom, through a fictitious notion of “conscious capitalism” ….

(There is no such thing as conscious capitalism. Capitalism is capitalism. Human exploitation is the soul and life’s blood of capitalism – it could not exist without it. Furthermore, capitalism – as product and property of white supremacy, born out of slavery the institution founded upon the brutal exploitation of black bodies – is by design made to essentially maintain the structural and material power/integrity of white supremacy. Therefore, capitalism by any means and/or conditions will ultimately serve this end. As it is a tool of white supremacy – here employing the wisdom of Audrey Lorde: The master’s tools will not dismantle his house – it cannot serve as tool/instrument for black liberation)

And yet, time and time again (to no avail) the black man is awakened to the harsh reality (of capitalism) that although perhaps, those little green sheets of cotton laced paper will afford a living in the white world; they will not however afford true agency and equality; or the right to TRULY be FREE to determine one’s own existence in a white established world. That is to say, at the end of the day, the almighty dollar with all its divine and magical (white supremacy instilled) properties will not afford the black man an exit out of the alienating land of NIGGERDOM. This is because in a white world founded upon, and dictated by race, no matter how much progress and success the black man achieves, he/she will always be racially determined, and as such will always (ultimately) exist as an object and expression of the white will. Make no mistake, for as long as this world stands, the black man – as the overdetermined property of the white manufactured construct that is race (the construct that ultimately made possible the birth of capitalism itself) – will ALWAYS remain under a white warranty. And as such, the white master will remain in possession of the title/receipt that is “blackness”.

Bottom line, the black man, although no longer bound by whips and chains, remains bound as a slave and prisoner to his own appearance (i.e. racialized existence) – made prisoner to, “the fetishized expression of a false history”, socially reified and articulated in a white supremacist society (Fanon Theory of Race, 2015, para 40). And it is on this basis that blacks have been housebroken and domesticated to the oppressive conditions of their racialization. It is to blackness that they must always, ALWAYS, remain accountable. It is to blackness (the white constructed property of race) that they must always – having been trained/conditioned over hundreds of years – answer to and for. The black man must always BE true to race. He/she must always be black (for both whites and blacks alike) before and above ANYTHING. And it is through the socially reified apparatus of race that the white man keeps the black man bound and circumscribed to the (human-less) dungeon of alienated existence – shackled to the complex of inferiority he has constructed for him/her – in this/his world. It is on this foundation that the white man ultimately maintains his grip on the black man, and the entirety of black existence itself – via history, philosophy, science, culture, language, capitalism, religion etc.… And, it is upon this construct that he has been able to stand and erect himself as the divine and superior sum of ALL things. The black BEing has been MADE to recognize and apotheosize the supremacy of whiteness EVERYWHERE and in EVERYTHING. The black BEing, even when trying to determine itself, cannot do so without (subconsciously) honoring whiteness – as in so doing he/she must always acknowledge and pay homage to the oppressive white construct and monument that is, RACE. As racialized subjects, the black must always exist in the shadow of whiteness. (Again, “The black man wants to be white, [and] the white man slaves to reach a human level.”) In this white (objectified) world, black has been established as inferior corollary of white.

White is to black as positive is to negative. White as the color of light, represents life. It is the symbol of purity, divinity, innocence, beauty, salvation and righteousness. Black (as the direct opposite) is the cursed hue. Black is the hue of darkness, it represents death and dearth. It is the symbol of evil, negativity, ugliness, sin and immorality. There is no escaping this fact, it has been reified (over hundreds of years) and established as objective fact in the white world. These truths are engraved on the walls of ALL monuments and institutions; as they are written into EVERY dictionary and holy book. And it is on this basis – as established upon the objective facts/axioms of this world – that freedom, justice, intellect, morality, beauty and humanity can ONLY exist as the divine values and properties of whiteness. It is on this basis that the black man must always chase whiteness – even when he/she is chasing freedom. His/her quest for freedom, is a white (determined) freedom. His/her cry for justice, is a white (determined) justice. His/her pursuits of dignity, is a white (determined) dignity. His/her pursuits of success, is a white (determined) success. His/her notions of humanity, is a white (determined) humanity. Even his/her ideas of spiritual salvation and god are ultimately determined and dictated by whiteness. Rather it be the, self-loathing, black coon/sellout that (dreams of being white) desperately chases white validation and acceptance; or the black revolutionary that dreams of a black world. Both, as racialized subjects, are still nonetheless the (house and field nigger) properties of white masters trapped on the white constructed plantation of race – the foundation of the white world. It is on this plantation (the white racialized world), as an alien to his own racialized body, that the black BEing remains confined to the uniform of his oppression and (objectified) thing-hood. That many blacks believe that the most radical and revolutionary THING they can BE is BLACK, ultimately speaks to the fact that the black BEing is still a being attached to its (objectified) THING-HOOD. While perhaps it is true that the most radical/revolutionary THING the black can BE (in the context of race) is black … the most radical/revolutionary BEing the black can BECOME, however, is a being liberated from the prison of racialized existence – that is an (absolutely) FREE and self-determining, HUMAN BEING. Again, black existence constituted and determined within the racialized construct of the white world, is still a consciousness trapped on a white plantation. Black existence, essentially, ruled by the externalized epidermal conditions on which it has been defined and circumscribed is still, nonetheless, an identity that’s dependent upon the natural conditions of a (white supremacist) world that was essentially established to negate it.

Unfortunately, it is in blackness that the black man has been conditioned to exist. And as such, he/she is doomed to remain as a racialized alien in a white (objectified) world. It is in blackness that he/she has been circumscribed as a powerless observer in this world. Very much the same as with capitalism, by conditioning the black man to honor race, the white man has been able to fundamentally keep them in their assigned place. It is the very idea that you’ve been brought into being to take part in this amazingly profound and unique experience called life. You were brought into this world as a human being (an agent of freedom) – and as such, no different than any other human being – yet, your existence (as a black man) has somehow been predetermined for you. You’ve been made to exist between lines that another being has drawn for you. Everywhere you go and in everything you do, you must always answer to your appearance – check the box of your assigned race. No matter how successful you become, no matter what great things you accomplish, ALL accomplishments must follow (must come second) to your race (see: first BLACK president). Yeah, you’re black. You’re black. You’re black. You’re black. YOU’RE BLACK! But what exactly does your blackness amount to in a world where its not allowed to write its own rules, chart its own course, or breath its own air. What does blackness amount to if its existence must fundamentally adhere to (is essentially dependent upon) whiteness – and the socially constructed standards of race? What value is blackness that must ultimately (affirmatively or negatively) respond to the stereotypical axioms that have been predetermined for it? (I repeat, “BLACK” achievements are not real achievements until and unless they can be recognized in accordance with standards of whiteness – as being established as objective truth in the white world.) It is the stigma of blackness (as defined and determined by white slave masters) that the black man desperately desires to escape and/or erase. However, what the black man has yet to comprehend is that his/her true liberation cannot be achieved in blackness (racialized existence). To be truly free, he/she must act to negate the white world itself and lay the foundation for a brand-new world. A world, absent of race (with its intrinsic property of alienation), and hence the limiting conditions of racialized existence. Such action, however, requires the black BEing to risk death and the stability of its, socially constructed, confines. It requires them to step outside of the externally imposed uniform/spacesuit of blackness to confront and brave the atmosphere of the unknown.

Yet, it is the unknown that the black has been made to fear and reject. After-all, how would he/she even exist without the white world? It is after all, to paraphrase Fanon, the only decent world he/she knows. Who would the black man be without the uniform of (his/her oppression) blackness – a racially constructed identity? Where else would he/she live if not in the past? And where would he/she exist if not amongst the dead? Who would blacks be if not the racialized objects they’ve been made? It is in this context, that the black man’s struggle towards liberation is not driven by an actual desire to be free, but merely to be elevated to the equal status of whites. The black (racialized) BEing simply seeks acceptance and validation in the existing white world. Yet, I reiterate, the white man is dependent upon his manufactured supremacy. He absolutely needs it to preserve his world, and in order for this to remain true, he needs the black man to remain trapped in the alienating inferiority of racialized existence – essentially locked outside of their own humanity. It is only when the black BEing comes to the realization that the true sum of their existence can never be determined, measured or fully realized in racialized existence. As race, essentially precludes true freedom and as such poses a disservice to us all (both white and black alike) as it ultimately alienates us from our true humanity – “in order to be a “human being,” the objective basis of [our] existence as racially oppressed [BEings], and as [BEings] alienated from [ourselves], is an absolute limit that must be overcome. The objectivity of [black] existence has its own necessity that [we] must obey, and therefore, by necessity must destroy in order to live at all” (Fanon Theory of Race, 2015, para 43). It is ONLY when we truly confront and eradicate race itself – and the world that has been built upon it – that we can truly liberate ourselves from racial oppression. It’s only when the black BEing discovers that buried deep in the heart of his/her blackness is the light of a brand-new world; it is only when they embrace (ACT) and become that light that they can burn away the old and shine the new into existence…. In the end black liberation cannot merely be about the liberation of black people from white injustices, it must be about the liberation of the black body from racialized existence, and hence the very construct of race itself. It is in this regard that black liberation must ultimately focus on the liberation of the black racialized BEing from the limiting conditions of blackness itself. As such, our ultimate focus and energy should not be geared towards the elevation of blackness so much as it should be geared towards the salvation and elevation of our humanity. Therefore, our task – if we are to usher in a new world – must be to reinvent the world and thus ourselves. We must be determined to introduce a new human content into the world. A content that embodies and reflects the universal spirit, principles and qualities of TRUE freedom and humanity. And this requires an absolute negation of the current social relations that reproduce the construct that is race, and hence the objectivity of the white supremacist world. In other words, our ultimate struggle is not to be black. Our ultimate struggle, is a struggle for the salvation of ALL HUMANITY! Such a struggle requires the absolute eradication of ALL BLOCKS. Again, inserting the profound wisdom of James Baldwin: “[No] label, no slogan, no party, no skin color, and indeed no religion is more important than the HUMAN BEING.“ The real issue is not black or white. The real issue is black and white. Race does not bring us closer to humanity, it runs us farther away from it….

RACE IS A DYING PLANET. HUMANITY IS THE FINAL FRONTIER. YET, TO DISCOVER IT, WE MUST FIRST MURDER OUR (RACIALLY CONSTRUCTED) DARLINGS.

In the end, race needs our compliance and recognition to exist. Thus, it is the natural condition to which we are ALL attached. My aim is not to elevate myself in union with the white established world, but to interrogate, deconstruct and abolish it one action at a time. It is also the realization that my blackness, albeit an epidermal/socially constructed matter of fact, is not something to be fought for or against. Nor is my blackness something to which I must remain accountable to or for. i am not fighting for blackness. i am fighting through blackness! I’m fighting for (TRUE) freedom and humanity, as fomented by the immediate conditions/experience of my racialized existence – that have made me aware of its (humanity’s) absence.

NOTHING and NO ONE will make, circumscribe, define, or DETERMINE ME! Fuck their/your whiteness. Fuck their/your blackness. Fuck THEIR world. My mission is freedom. i define myself. i, FREE MY FUCKING SELF!!!

*Notes:

James Baldwin, The Price of the Ticket (St. Martin’s Press, 1985) 704

Frantz Fanon, Black Skin, White Masks (New York: Grove Press, 2008) 191

HiFi, Fanon and the Theory of Race (unityandstruggle.org, 2015)

Zia Sardar, Fanon and the Epidemiology of Oppression (frantzfanoninternational.org, 2009)

#race #racism #amerikkka #one-man #liberation #fugitivism #donald trump #frantz fanon #preach r sun #fugitive

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johnbattlesca · 7 years

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Martial Arts Enlightenment: Why the Samurai Warriors Practiced Zen, Part 2

Before you dig into this post, would you like to read Part 1? If so, go here now.

Regardless of specifics, from the time of the first Kamakura shogun, Zen Buddhism had found its foothold in ancient Japan, and its impact was imminent. One key point that Winston L. King brought up (see Bibliography) was that Zen monks did not enter into politics to advance in the imperial court. He gave three rather lengthy reasons for this lack of political striving:

Zen, by nature, was anti-institutional; its timing was such that it was not introduced during a warring period; and its monks already held top advisory positions in the shogun’s councils, so there was no need for further political striving. (31)

As stated above, the move to Kamakura put Zen monks in a position of close confidence with the military leaders of the day. Even though this relationship had humble beginnings and was probably mostly secular in nature (record keeping, political advising, etc.), it grew quickly as the employers of those monks realized there was more to be gained from Zen’s religious aspects than just sutra study and recitation.

The warrior class was quick to see the potential for “special spiritual and psychological strength from Zen, which contributed to the strength of character, firmness of will and imperviousness to suffering on which they prided themselves.” (Reischauer 1989, 53)

With similar prized characteristics as a goal of sorts, Zen meditation and martial arts training naturally complemented each other. The spiritual path of Zen was one that the samurai found most appealing. Truth, in the Zen tradition, was to be found within the deepest core of one’s visceral being, not in the intellect. This put the truth well within the range of the samurai’s awareness and emotional compatibility. (King 1993, 163)

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Zen offered the samurai what no amount of physical training or knowledge of military strategy could. The purpose of Zen meditation was to open this martial training to the subconscious, instinctive forces of his being that governed action without thought. (King 1993, 166) The techniques of swordsmanship were not inherently flawed, but the factor that was most open to imperfections was the mind of the practitioner. Zen offered what is called mushin, or no-mind.

Taisen Deshimaru likened mushin to “the body thinking.” (1991, 78) In D.T. Suzuki’s Zen and Japanese Culture, it is described thus: “[It is] going beyond the dualism of all forms of life and death, good and evil, being and non-being. … Hereby he becomes a kind of automation, so to speak, as far as his own consciousness is concerned.” (94)

Takuan Soho wrote about mushin in three letters to Yagyu Munenori, head of the Yagyu Shinkage school of swordsmanship. (King 1993, 167) A passage reads as follows:

“Mugaku meant that in wielding the sword, in the infinitesimal time it takes lightning to strike, there is neither mind nor thought. For the striking, there is no mind. For myself, who is about to be struck, there is no mind. The attacker is emptiness. His sword is emptiness. I, who am about to be struck, am emptiness. … Completely forget about the mind and you will do all things well.” (37)

To understand this is to understand the heart of Zen. Some might call this having a satori (realization of a profound truth). Zen, having in its nature a focus on the non-rational mind, is difficult to explain by merely defining theses. The best way to understand Zen thought is by illustration. One of the best illustrations of how one might benefit from Zen training comes from Suzuki’s Zen and Japanese Culture:

“He who deliberates and moves his brush intent on making a picture, misses to a still greater extent the art of painting. Draw bamboo for 10 years, become a bamboo, then forget all about bamboo when you are drawing. In possession of an infallible technique, the individual places himself at the mercy of inspiration.

“To become a bamboo and to forget that you are one with it while drawing it — this is the Zen of the bamboo, this is the moving with the rhythmic movement of the spirit which resides in the bamboo as well as in the artist himself. What is now required of him is to have a firm hold on the spirit and yet not to be conscious of the fact.” (31)

This passage entails the entire essence of Zen and the martial arts. Through zazen, or seated meditation, one comes to know mushin. With the prerequisite of swordsmanship training, the practitioner then must forget that he has this library of knowledge and act instinctually through the fine filter of his “forgotten” techniques. “Forgetting learning, relinquishing mind, harmonizing without any self-conscious knowledge thereof, is the ultimate consummation of the way.” (Munenori 1993, 69)

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If a cup containing water is knocked over, the water splashes out in random directions without conscious thought. This is similar to the natural instincts one has in a deadly situation. For the water, the cup being knocked over is the threat, and where the water splashes is the reaction.

The addition of martial arts training is likened to having a funnel in hand while the cup is being knocked over. One hopes that with adequate readiness, he will be able to catch the water in the air and direct it in the proper way with the power of the funnel. The addition of the cultivation of mushin is likened to taping the funnel around the mouth of the cup, thus relieving the funnel of the need for conscious thought. The power of the funnel is given the same fluidity and rhythm as the situation itself.

Without thought, the situation arises. Without thought, a reaction takes place. Without thought, the final destination is obtained.

The emphasis on “moving with the rhythmic movement of the spirit” is essential when one raises the following question: How can a philosophy of Buddhist origin can be so closely associated with the military class? The training of Zen meditation, zazen, is said to return the mind to its original state, that of being in harmony with the cosmic order of things.

Speaking of this in terms of God and consciousness, Deshimaru wrote: “It is satori consciousness. The self has dropped away and dissolved. It is the consciousness of God. It is God.” (1991, 66)

For Westerners, this idea might cause problems. Our thought has always been of God as a transcendent figure. But in actuality, this is where Western thought has the most difficulty in religious philosophy: explaining how a transcendent God can be a key figure to humanity. Zen finds “god” right here and now. As Zen masters like to say, “The present moment is pregnant with god.”

In this way, the actions of the samurai go beyond simple right and wrong. They are as bound to common morality as the wind, which may help pollination or spread wildfires.

In the above-mentioned example of the cup of water, it would seem improper to ask, “Was the movement of the funnel good or bad (moral or immoral)?” It was neither good nor bad. It had no real reaction of its own. It only flowed with the movement of the situation. One cannot say that the actions of the cup were distinct from the situation, thereby requiring a moral judgment. Such is the mind of the samurai trained in Zen. A situation is neither moral nor immoral. The samurai, through the cultivation of mushin, acts without intent. Thus, the samurai’s mind is not distinct from the situation and is not subject to moral judgment.

The nature of the samurai becomes the nature of everything. The weapon of the samurai, the katana, becomes transformed along with the person. In the hands of an unworthy warrior, the sword is subject to being an implement of destruction. In the hands of a samurai, the sword becomes subject to the will of heaven. When drawn, it is as the wind which blows with no regard for intent. Yet when the sword is in its scabbard by the side of the samurai, it is most precise in its cut.

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There is a Zen saying that the katana is at one time the “sword of life” and the “sword of death.” The focus of the blade is turned inward on whoever possesses it. It is a symbol by which the samurai is reminded to cut down his own imperfection and attachment to the impermanent world. It thereby gives true life to the one who wears it and death to the people or ideas that stand in the way of the will of heaven. The sword is part of the samurai. The samurai obeys the way. Therefore, the sword of life and the sword of death coexist.

When we think of the Japanese warrior, we must remember the ideals of the Zen tradition if we wish understand the path of this unique historical fixture. As discussed above, the development of Zen in Japan coincided with the development of the samurai. Zen refined the characteristics that made the samurai a distinguished warrior. Zen reached into the depths of the Japanese warrior and created a person of such concentrated awareness, piety and determination that future generations will forever be fascinated and inspired.

Andrew Abele is a freelance writer based in Metairie, Louisiana. He has studied shotokan karate for more than two decades.

Read Part 1 of this post here.

Bibliography

Allyn, John. 1998. The 47 Ronin Story. Vermont: Charles E. Tuttle Company.

Bodhidharma. (translated by) Pine, Red. 1987. The Zen Teachings of Bodhidharma. New York: North Point Press.

Deshimaru, Taisen. 1991. Questions to a Zen Master. New York: Penguin Books.

Deshimaru, Taisen. 1991. The Zen Way to the Martial Arts. New York: Arkana Books.

Deshimaru, Taisen. 1996. Sit: Zen Teachings of Master Taisen Deshimaru. Arizona: Hohm Press.

King, Winston L. 1993. Zen and the Way of the Sword. New York: Oxford University Press.

Munenori, Yagyu. (translated by) Clearly, Thomas. 1993. Family Traditions on the Art of War. Massachusetts: Shambhala.

Musashi, Miyamoto. (translated by) Cleary, Thomas. 1993. The Book of Five Rings. Massachusetts: Shambhala.

Nitobe, Inazo. 1969. Bushido: The Soul of Japan. Tokyo: Charles E. Tuttle Company.

Reischauer, Edwin O.; Craig, Albert M. 1989. Japan: Tradition and Transformation. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company.

Soho, Takuan. 1986. The Unfettered Mind. Tokyo: Kodansha International.

Suzuki, Daisetz T. 1959. Zen and Japanese Culture. New York: MJF Books.

from Black Belt» Daily » Black Belt http://www.blackbeltmag.com/daily/martial-arts-history/japanese-matial-arts-history/martial-arts-enlightenment-why-the-samurai-warriors-practiced-zen-part-2/ Martial Arts Enlightenment: Why the Samurai Warriors Practiced Zen, Part 2 published first on http://thrandythefabulous.tumblr.com

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thrandythefabulous · 7 years