#cw: sudden death

[runekeepershymnal]

SO!!

Did you know that:

When you get an echocardiogram, you can sometimes hear what they’re picking up? While they’re prodding around your bare chest with a gelled up weird probe?

Well, the way my technician did it, you can, and I am now in a bit of a weird, semi-ecstatic spiral about that sound, which at some times sounded like a record scratching, but, most concerningly, at least to me, because I am a fucked up little freak who of course googled the sounds I heard and what they might mean, and, and, and…

Did you know?

Apparently it’s supposed to go lub-dub, and not, in fact, lub-lub-dub.

So I am in a state of anticipation, but not actually… fear? I don’t think? (Pardon my hypochondria about something that may well [almost certainly shall] turn out to be nothing.)

Being one of Those Patients (superscript TM), I was, of course, unwilling to ask the techician if that was a normal sound. Like, maybe it’s supposed to sound like that based on the angle of the gelled up doodad probe thingie. Maybe there’s a secret mountain behind my ribs and only the atria echo. Ventricles are like ducks, and thus, they do not. Mostly I didn’t ask because 1. I’m pretty sure that the technician is not allowed to interpret any damn thing, 2. I’m pretty sure she was trained in “oh shit, this is like… actual afib tachycardia whatevs, you’re not allowed to leave, in fact, we’re gonna pop you in an ambulance to scootch you the (I can’t gauge distances) hundred feet to the emergency room next door at the low low price of fuck you, your ancestors, and the descendants you don’t/won’t have to make sure you don’t just drop dead here and now.

(She did not do any of those things. She gave me a small towel to wipe the sonogram gel off my tits, which I guess is at least a little courteous. Certainly better treatment than I’ve received from most people who got to see my tits.)

So, of course once I get home, I last about fifteen minutes before I start googling what the sound might mean. And of course, I get afib, and murmurs, and cha cha cha, and then, I get hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, a condition with which I have a great deal of associated emotional baggage.

The spiral continues, of course, into smaller, tighter, more numerous spirals of each fractal spinning out.

God, am I going to have to tell people? Family? Friends? I could barely deliver the news that I hadn’t gotten the job I thought I would, this is going to be so fucking awkward.

If I need a pacemaker, I’m going to be so very irritated that I can’t be in the same room as an in-use microwave anymore. I guess I’ll just… sous vide everything? Be that person who actually has to remember to take things out of the freezer and thaw them the long way? Except…

The whole point of this testing was because I’d admitted to my medication provider that sometimes I have heart palpitations (yes, I am an absolute moron), but I’m sure it’s fine, after all, anxiety, am I right?

So there is a good chance if the ticker insists upon ticking twice before every tock that my ADHD meds will be no more, in which case, remembering to take meat out of the freezer to thaw will be the least of my executive dysfunction problems.

(I actually love the idea of a tiny bolt of lightning having to smite be back in line whenever I start following the beat of my own drum.)

(The sound of my heart would make sick beats, by the way. Maybe I can create a Soundcloud to which I could upload the audio.)

Inside me there are two wolves: One who lives by ‘I don’t want to be a bother/I don’t need help/I’ve got this’ and one who is the Most Dramatic Bitch Ever and wants to go around wearing a pageant ribbon that says ‘Mx. I Might Drop Dead at Any Second But You Could Too Because No One is Fucking Special” and making deeply uncomfortable prolonged eye conntact with anyone and everyone who is fool enough to read it so that we both might wonder who will croak first? (There was nothing stopping me from doing this before, but apparently my priorities are fucked up.)

If the prognosis is bad, should I sell my Rεdd!t account? I’ve got enough karma to post basically anywhere…

How wonderful it would be to just stop without prelude or time to regret or pity. No wasting and no responsibility.

I might actually have some sort of proof that I have a heart! I mean, I’ve never seen it.

I’ll have to get some life insurance worked out. I’d love for my chronically ill disabled spouse to be rich, but I certainly don’t want him facing a big bill.

This whole list is going to be super embarassing if I just get told to take some fish oil and get more exercise than asking the gods to smite me by carrying all the groceries up three flights of stairs at one time.

Am I on too many medications for them to harvest my other organs? Because I would dearly love to occupy other people like some ghost of the humors, inflicting my phlegm and biles upon people who thought they were blessed and instead got some very peculiar psychometric imaginary friend.

The thought that a bad prognosis might give me the “I could die at any second which I could before but now I have a doctor’s note” card is so exciting and, honestly, delightful. (Which I definitely can’t tell my medication provider.)

I am also annoyed because this is just One More Damn Thing. Like, wasn’t the fucky brain sufficient? Not trying to tempt fate or anything but c’mon, man, it’d be cool if one vital organ could operate like a 90s model Toyota and just work exactly like it’s supposed to. Liver, pancreas, I’m looking at you two, don’t get cute. You too, skin.

So yeah, just… c’mon, man. I was finally getting some of the shit that my decades of undiagnosed ADHD may not have cause but sure as fuck exacerbated. Can we just figure it out? It’s the 21st century, how fuckin’ long does it take to take a gander at a sonogram and say “shit, that’s weird. Let me flip through my big damn book of cardiology to see if it’s ‘oh shit, fuck, shit’ weird or just ‘hrm’ weird”? Yes I’m oversimplifying advanced medicine, but again, it’s the 21st fuckin’ century.

I was never really able to ignore my heard since it is a fluttery-ass bastard that likes to make itself known (and apparently most people don’t have that, who knew?), but boy does it sound neat to not be aware of the activity of one’s organs that aren’t supposed to require conscious intervention.

#cw: health #cw: medical #cw: suicidal ideation #vaguely #cw: death #cw: sudden death #cw: mental health #unrelated to fandom #asynchronous screw loose #post I will probably be embarassed about when it turns out to be nothing

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

Prompt 7 with Malleus? And the reader as the ghost? 😳

Visions of the Past; Malleus Draconia

Content; Gender-neutral reader, hurt/comfort, pining left unresolved

Content Warning; Reader death (not heavily described)

Word Count; 700+

Please do not put my work into AI. If you would like to see more of my work check out my masterlist!

Time heals all wounds. But Malleus knew that wasn’t true. Yes, time may heal physical wounds, although not always perfectly, but it no longer weeps or festers. Whereas emotional wounds, such as trauma, grief, and anger do not fade or heal in the same manner as a cut would.

Malleus was standing outside the entrance of Ramshackle, once his nightly walking grounds turned to the home of the first person that befriended him for him. The first person who didn’t know or care, even after finding out about his identity, that he was the Malleus Draconia. A magicless human who treated him as they did with others, but with a tad bit more ease, humour, and kindness since they were friends.

Were friends.

His heart knew though that you weren’t just friends. He had felt this emotion before to some extent with his passion for gargoyles, but they paled in comparison to you.

Your brightness. Your laugh. Your little mannerisms that most wouldn’t pay attention to, but he did. 

“Do you think we’ll still be friends when we’re older,” you mused while on one of your nightly walks with Malleus. Malleus furrowed his brow and looked at you quizzically, “Why wouldn’t we be? I have no intention of not being in your life.” You had stopped moving forward and Malleus came to a stop beside you. “Well, I don’t know. You’re a prince, future king, and you might get swapped in royal business and duties…” You pursed your lips, an unpleasant taste in your mouth. “And isn’t that more important?”  “Do you not like spending time with me?” Malleus’ voice was more sharp, on edge. “NO!” You shouted, the word echoing a bit in the quiet night. “I like spending time with you. I love it!” Malleus looked at you with confusion, and if he were looking at anyone else the way he had been in the past minute, they would have been grovelling, asking for forgiveness. But not you.  “Then why did you bring it up in the first place? Should there not be time, I will simply make it,” he said quietly. A small smile and chuckle replaced the irritated look of moments prior, “I will even make it ‘royal business’ as you put it.” You cough-laughed at his statement, but you only laughed harder when you looked at him to see a baffled expression.  Malleus chuckled lightly, joining your amusement, even though he didn’t understand what was so funny that had you tearing up. You let out a long sigh, recollecting yourself. “Well, I’ll be there then, promise.”

And you had held that promise. Despite both of your hectic lives, you both met at least twice a month. If neither of you had the time? Well, Malleus would just show up outside your place, like old times, and you would both go about the property. Sometimes talking away, and other times in silence, just happy to be next to each other again.

Malleus knew he liked you, loved you even — the way he felt more like himself when he was around you, and a tinge of jealousy made that distinction clear — and he was planning on asking you if you felt the same.

But he didn’t have the chance.

He would never have the chance.

He knew that he wouldn’t have many years with you, but he had planned that it was old age that took you away from him.

Ramshackle had not changed, but Malleus could still smell the scent of soot, even after all of these years. The foyer stopped, and Malleus looked into the gloom of the burnt ruins.

“ … do you remember our promise?”

He had been coming here, once a fortnight, asking the same question and hoping for an answer. Every time all he ever received was the sound of rotting wood and the scampering of mice.

He took in a breath and was ready to leave, to go back to his duties, but he stopped.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

He couldn’t see you, but you were here. And that was all that mattered to Malleus. That although you may not physically be here anymore, he had not lost you.

Time may heal all wounds, but Malleus didn’t want this wound to heal. He didn’t want to lose you, not again.

. . .

. . .

A/N; Hope you enjoyed what I came up with for this combination! And *hands you an emotional dragon fae that misses you*

~~~~

Tags; @afunkyfreshblog @bloomstruck @eynnwwyjth @keii-starz @lucid-stories @ryker-writes @syrenkitsune @the-v-lociraptor @twistwonderlanddevotee @xxoomiii

#dove does events #twst #twst x reader #twst x gn reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x gn reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #malleus draconia x gn reader #cw reader death #a sudden death he would not heal well with #like it would eat at him for years #but didn't want this being too angsty #ithseem! #finally got some time to write this; yippee!!!!

[canisalbus]

(im sorry)

Vasco would change after Machete's death, I think. He'd always be a good, kind man, and in time his smile would return, but never with its old radiance. Sorrow would age him prematurely, and white would creep over his muzzle like clouds blocking the sun.

But perhaps he'd look in the mirror some nights, and run his fingers across the white fur with fondness, remembering the white fur that used to press against him once upon a time. A last reminder of his love, forever on his lips.

.

#let out such a pained exhale at that ending jeez #yes I agree #Vasco always came across very youthful and resistant to wear and tear #especially compared to Machete who looked sort of prematurely aged by health issues stressful lifestyle and general gauntness #but I think he started greying soon after Machete's death #from grief and sudden lowered quality of life #eventually he'd mend and go on to live a long life mostly free from further heartbreak I think #but he'd never be the same as before #answered #anonymous #loving the 'I'm sorry' preface #death #cw death #you scroundel you romanticized grey muzzles #Vaschete scenarios

[thesuetyouforgot]

Hello, I have something kinda.....weird to say the least, if you don't mind reading my thoughts that is?

Basically, a few months ago, I had a strange and surreal dream/nightmare kind of thing. It was about Monty Python. But it was a depressing and tragic alternative universe. A universe where John Cleese and Michael Palin both got assassinated/killed on the day of the "Friday Night, Saturday Morning" Life of Brian debate interview, where a religious extremist who really hated the film Life of Brian with a burning passion took out both John and Michael out of spite. Like, utter spite, ya'know?

It was....horrible to think about..yet it was an interesting experience to think about.

I'm okay now, I'm aware it was JUST only a bad recurring dream. But, it just shivers me to the core to think about what would've happened on that day in that alternative universe. What would the world look like? What the Pythons think about the sudden passing of John and Michael? Just what would've happened on that day......

Wow... That's sounds terrible actually & definitely like a dream I wouldn't want to dream myself...

It really is an extremely chilling thought and like you said, interesting in a horrible way. Don't even know what to say - the fear that must cause to the other Pythons, the sheer tragedy of taking someone's life for simply making a funny little movie, all the beautiful things we would have never gotten (like movies, books, documentaries...) etc. Glad it never happened in reality!

--Thank you for sharing your dream & thoughts with me, though!--

#Y'know originally I come from the Beatles fandom and I've cried enough tears to documentaries about john lennon's death to immediately be #able to imagine this hypothetical au all too well. (Or my emotional reaction to it that is) #on a more lighthearted note: I couldn't help but imagine that bishop (?) being the killer #Like imagine the debate is getting heated and all of a sudden he gets up and pulls out a gun like in a wild west movie #“Your arguments sound reasonable. But mine are stronger” BANG. BANG. #okay sorry. enough now #asks #anonymous #dreams about the pythons #cw violence #cw death

[rainydews]

OMARI AUs live in my head rent free

#rainy draws #omori #omori fanart #omori art #omori mari #omari au #omari #basil omori #omori basil #sunny omori #omori sunny #omori something #mari omori #child death cw #here's these concept doodles to make up for my sudden absence

[sharkflan]

Lucy you were the best dog and i loved you so fucking much 💙 rest east now sweet girl

#may 5th would’ve been her 14th birthday #i’m so fucking heartbroken #she was doing so well for her old age before the cancer #and it all happened so sudden and so fast #we had her put to sleep in our home and i’m glad i was there for it #but it was pretty traumatizing seeing her pass in front of me #i don’t really know what to do now i’m just so sad #cw animal death #flantalk

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

Hey guys, if you could pray for me and my parents I'd be really grateful. The last cat in our old brigade, Tansy, is almost 15 and at the end of her days. She tends to get sick from allergies during the spring and she's had a rough winter and she's just, she's not going to make it through this time and she's been SUCH a good cat her whole life that we're not gonna let her suffer through it to the end. We're hoping we can get an appointment to get her put down tomorrow (that sounds awful saying it, but she's miserable and I can't watch her suffer she doesn't deserve that), so we would really appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

#cats #tansy #tw pet death #cw pet death #the only good(?) thing about this is that it's not sudden like baby tulip #I have known this was coming and been preparing for it mentally for months now #she took a turn for the worse today tho despite all our efforts to help her keep going #I *think* she might have a tumor in her cheek that suddenly got very malignant #she has a lot of the symptoms #and I think that + the allergy sickness she usually gets is just too much for her #but she has lived a GOOD life #and she KNOWS we love her #she is INCREDIBLY intelligent #she's sid's adoptive mama #like she straight up adopted a stray half-grown half-starved kitten #and TRAINED IT #to be her friend a hunter and a guardian of our home #she literally taught sid everything he knows #I'll post a little memorial for her when she does pass with pictures #because she has such unique and beautiful coloring #she's a torti #and SO sweet #she is literally one of the best cats we have EVER had #I'll miss her terribly <3

[verdiesque]

.

#hm. surely having several sudden and unexpected deaths in the family and close circle back to back in a quite short period of time #and my panic fear that my friends might die while i'm not looking #have nothing to do with each other #and losing my classmate when we were all teenagers didnt affect me at all #anyway sorry. saw a post #death cw #i suppose?

[triangle-ears]

Rest in peace, Sulpher. 2009-2023.

You were the best void, a true genius at break-ins and thievery, master planner, and supermodel extraordinaire with a fabulous tailshake. We all knew it, don't worry. We also knew about your closet hideout and how the mirror works, although I know you wanted those to be secrets. I hope the afterlife brings you many wonderful memories of butter croissants and victory. We will always love you.

#sulpher #cw: pet death #she had cancer. we've known for months so at least it wasn't sudden

[andromeda3116]

okay, i'll be honest, i am suddenly far more willing to make fun of the submarine thing now that i know it was due to a hull breach and rapid decompression, and thus instantaneous and painless. they died instantly and without pain due to nothing more than hubris and wealthy stupidity and a company's belief (which they implicitly or explicitly agreed with) that regulations meant to protect workers "stifle[d] innovation" and so i feel no worse mocking their stupid, preventable deaths than i do about any arrogant winner of a darwin award.

#death cw #like nobody deserves a slow horrible death filled with pain and fear. and we as humans always owe it to each other to try and save others #but it was quicker than they could have known and too fast to be painful and too sudden to be frightening #and so yeah. #severe darwin award here

[dissociacrip]

shit hits different when you lose someone you know to chronic illness.

#j #chronic illness #actually disabled #chronically ill #death - #further death cw in tags - #classmate i was hoping to get to know better this semester/befriend passed last week #assumedly due to complications recovering from kidney failure 4 months ago #& his fraternity brothers found him dead in his room #he was going through dialysis and was in the hospital just the day before for a port #so idk what happened. it was really sudden and tragic #i'm going to his funeral tomorrow w/ someone who knew him better than i

[nowendil]

this year really kicked off with grief huh

#nowe talks #cw animal death #as some of you may remember my sweet old lady dog pulmu died last month #and yesterday our family's other dog Milli had to be put to sleep too. less than a month after Pulmu #i'm just so heartbroken. like it will be okay and i knew it was going to happen someday because Milli was old too (13) but it was so sudden #i wasnt prepared for her to go already #the house is so empty without them. #Milli's death was a bigger blow for my mother than me because she was her dog. like Her Dog. Milli loved her so so so much. #like they were best friends. and my mom had so many routines built around Milli (and Pulmu too) #i know she can tale care of herself but i still worry #and i grieve and i grieve and i grieve #it's 5 am and i have been awake flr like an hour crying about it. i habe had it up to here with grief #i just hope she's alright wherever she is. i hope both of them are #good night sweet angel <3 thank you for everything

[fawnarchive]

.

#fawn.txt #fawn vent #does this count as that. better safe than sorry i think! #cw parental death #very sudden tone change! sorry i dont intend to talk about stuff like this often i swear #so its my dads birthday #and i havent mentioned it here but he passed last year on VALENTINES DAY. jeez dude thats one way to get flowers (sorry) #and im fine mainly ofc i wouldnt mention it otherwise #but its also my friends birthday! and im not sure how to pretend to be very happy and beaming for that #in this weird mix of “someone i love is never coming back” and “someone i care about is growing” today #weird weird weird!! #ill be fine. i dont know if i exactly feel that way right now but i will #but WHOA. talk about an awkward thursday

[glimmerofsanity]

trigger warning: death

a family member of my partners passed away a few days ago. I didn't know him well, but I saw him quite a bit, and chatted to him, and he was lovely. it's weird how death impacts you, even if you weren't close. but the most heartbreaking thing is the circumstances, the unexpectedness. he was in an accident on his way to his daughters baby shower, that will be his first grandchild. it's hard to make sense of that, to accept that.

#I'm fine by the way #it was just very sudden #cw death

[annarubys]

the one thing that always gets me about mcr isn’t the music itself but the way people respond to it. i hardly ever cry listening to any music even by them but the second i head over to the comments section underneath anything they’ve ever made it’s a guarantee. i’ve never seen that kind of reaction to any form of art and i doubt i ever will again. and literally every fan has that kind of story. idk if i had a point with this i’m just kind of thinking about it

#death cw for the tags but #mine is that a few days before i saw them in brooklyn i had a really sudden death in my family #i was hardly thinking about their show at all after looking forward to it for months #i felt really guilty about even still going and i was anxious that all the death imagery in their music might just make me feel worse #but it did the complete opposite #they did helena mid show so i wasn’t really expecting it yet and i just felt so held #and it was the first time i thought of that person since it happened that i didn’t feel horrible sadness #also mikey said it was his kids’ favorite song before they played it and just the thought of that. #their favorite song is about a woman they never met but who was really important to their dad. we carry the people we’ve lost with us #and we pass them on to the people who come after us #it was just one of those moments where i was like god this band is going to be with me forever #ANYWAY!! i am going to go watch the new doctor who now <3 #mcr #a.txt

[pastel-rights]

“To have an eternal friend… is that too much to ask for?”

———

Angels of Death AU

Eddie! Hana design by Mafia fish Pins [@/pinsssss]

not tagging her or else it's gonna get REALLY annoying in a little bit oops

#ringmaster doodles #twst oc #twst au #angels of death au #sudden hyperfixation on this AU and TOD lord help me #character death cw #death cw #weapon cw #gonna. probably throw the au lore onto my writing blog so i can reference it at a later date :]