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#cyber usernames
xiaoswrld · 8 months
Note
Hello please can I get some username suggestions for the name- "neha"?
thorneha cutieha
spidrneha nehalite
neha.chr nehaberry
candiedneha sweetneha
nehadaze nehadreams
xoxoneha archiveha
nehapire nehatune
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userstuf · 8 months
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★ RANDOM GOTH USERS ★
• evirlls • cigsrete
• emosbf • sqtanirc
• gotiqir • swicid
fav/reblog if u save or use ♥︎ dont repost it
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yeonshy · 1 year
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८. ・ ͙.y͟2͟k͟ u͟s͟e͟r͟n͟a͟m͟e͟s͟ ᰍ 。 ͘ ᳞ ✽
[ avoid using the gyaru users if ur not a gyaru ^_^ ]
i2kss -> from "i", "y2k" and "kiss"
toyhana -> from "toy" and japanese "花/hana" (flower)
hellokemi -> from "hello kitty" and korean "게미/kemi" (ant)
gyaritas -> from "gyaru" and spanish suffix "-itas" (~little)
chiprntss -> from "cheetah prints"
ssunnydayss -> from "sunny days"
rainybows -> from "rainbows", "rainy" and "bows"
miaunet -> from spanish "miau" (meow) and .net
meikiss -> from "meiko" [the vocaloid] and "kiss"
20min00s -> from "20 minutes, 00 seconds" and "2000s"
twhimsical -> from "twilight" and "whimsical"
swirlyskies -> from "swirly skies"
colorfrutas -> from "colorful" and spanish "frutas" (fruit)
cremetal -> from "creme" and "metal"
kumawaii -> from japanese "くま/kuma" (bear) and "可愛い/kawaii" (cute, also considered a style)
cloudytowne -> from "cloudy town"
mych3mew -> from "my chemical romance" and "mew"
pixelatte2k -> from "pixel", italian "latte" (milk) and "2k"
sunnyeoss -> from "sunny" and korean "엿/yeos" (fucked)
sugarcats -> yk ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧
tokkisme -> from korean "토끼/tokki" (bunny/rabbit) and "kiss me" / "tokki is me"
dreamywebs -> yk ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧ x2
velvetures -> from "velvet" and "futures"
nuevnette -> from spanish "nuevo" (new), .net and french suffix "-ette" (little)
froggumis -> from "frog" and "gummy bears"
agiedream -> from korean "아기와/agie" (the child's) and "dream"
sugyaru -> from "sugar" and "gyaru"
mahougirls -> from japanese "魔法/mahou" (magic, in reference to the magical girl/mahou shoujo genre) and "girl"
mmagicalsoft -> yk ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧ x3
pixelies -> from "pixel"
suugrpop -> from "sugar" and "pop"
hanazine -> from japanese "花/hana" (flower) and "magazine"
starieluck -> from "star" and "luck" [in reference to lucky☆star]
moorade -> from spanish "morado" (purple)
dreamytunes -> yk ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧ x4
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doomed-jester · 10 months
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Let's be real, if anyone actually cares about online security then they have unique passwords for every site that are just an incomprehensible string of characters. And they wouldn't use a digital keychain, they'd keep that shit written in a physical journal that they shove under their mattress when they're not actively transcribing a password.
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axolotlinjammies · 1 year
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Haii Axolotl!!! :3
How has your day been? I hope it went well!!
Cya!!! ^^
Hi!!!! It's lovely to hear from you!!
It was really really busy just got outta work and all that boring stuff-
But! I am gonna be doodling!
Feel free to pop by again soon! Have some tea for the road!
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And a doodle!
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chewysgummies · 1 year
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Made myself an edit for killbot 86 lol.
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vague-humanoid · 4 months
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An 18-year-old hacker who leaked clips of a forthcoming Grand Theft Auto (GTA) game has been sentenced to an indefinite hospital order.
Arion Kurtaj from Oxford, who has autism, was a key member of international gang Lapsus$.
The gang's attacks on tech giants including Uber, Nvidia and Rockstar Games cost the firms nearly $10m.
The judge said Kurtaj's skills and desire to commit cyber crime meant he remained a high risk to the public.
He will remain at a secure hospital for life unless doctors deem him no longer a danger.
The court heard that Kurtaj had been violent while in custody with dozens of reports of injury or property damage.
Doctors deemed Kurtaj unfit to stand trial due to his acute autism so the jury was asked to determine whether or not he committed the alleged acts - not if he did so with criminal intent.
A mental health assessment used as part of the sentencing hearing said he "continued to express the intent to return to cybercrime as soon as possible. He is highly motivated."
The jury was told that while he was on bail for hacking Nvidia and BT/EE and in police protection at a Travelodge hotel, he continued hacking and carried out his most infamous hack.
Despite having his laptop confiscated, Kurtaj managed to breach Rockstar, the company behind GTA, using an Amazon Firestick, his hotel TV and a mobile phone.
Kurtaj stole 90 clips of the unreleased and hugely anticipated Grand Theft Auto 6.
He broke into the company's internal Slack messaging system to declare "if Rockstar does not contact me on Telegram within 24 hours I will start releasing the source code".
He then posted the clips and source code on a forum under the username TeaPotUberHacker.
He was re-arrested and detained until his trial.
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love-belle · 7 months
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today and tomorrow and every day after that !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their fall-in-love-again era is them pretending as if they haven't already made it till forever.
or
for when it'll be them today, tomorrow and then a day after that. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // max verstappen x fem!reader
prequel - i should hate you ⋆·˚ ༘ *
warnings - language
author's note - it's 3am and im tired. thank u and i hope u like it <3
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, carmenmmundt and 789,416 others
yourusername his big wet eyes and loser personality have captivated me
tagged maxverstappen1
7,628 comments
username STFU OMG
username NO WAY SHE POSTED HIM AFTER MONTHS FOR RADIO SILENCE
username GIRL WHAT
username kinda hypocritical of u to go back to ur ex after yelling at us to fuck him (figuratively)
-> yourusername sorry bb he cried until i gave in
-> maxverstappen1 stop spreading lies
username the way i js relaxed and it wasn't even my relationship like DAMN
username im a child of TOGETHER parents
username i need this
danielricciardo i better be the godfather of your vaginal demons
-> yourusername pls take back ur bf heidiberger_
-> heidiberger_ timeout. NOW.
-> maxverstappen1 why only HER vaginal demons. i helped too
-> danielricciardo yeah for like 2 seconds
-> yourusername STOP TALKING ABT MT VAGINAL DEMONS
-> yourusername oh god
-> username "i helped too" LMFAOAOAOAN WTF
maxverstappen1 this is cyber bullying
-> yourusername stfu i love those photos like fetus maximus ❤️
-> maxverstappen1 that's not my name and you know it
-> yourusername honestly u should he HONOURED that u share a name with maximus the horse 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
username who needs reality tv when u have this comments section
username everyday i discover something entirely new about this whole group and atp im not even surprised
username don't post me unless the caption is "his big wet eyes and loser personality have captivated me"
maxverstappen1 i don't have a loser personality
-> yourusername u wear skinny jeans
-> username gagged him
-> username no bc they need to GO
maxverstappen1 okay but i could be your loser boyfriend, you ever think of that?
-> yourusername ur already my loser husband wdym
-> danielricciardo GIRL
-> maxverstappen1 wow
-> yourusername oh
-> yourusername haha surprise people
-> username say what the fuck now
-> username istg if i find out that they're MARRIED after WEEKS of agony and pain i will riot
maxverstappen1 you suck at keeping secrets
-> yourusername u suck in general
-> maxverstappen1 real mature
username i'd die for them and they don't even know me
username WHATTHEFYCK
username i did not see this coming wtfff
username WHEN WAS THIS.
username no bc the fact that they STILL don't follow each other is HILARIOUS
username giggling rn he's so babygirl i love him
lilymhe run away with me
-> yourusername absolutely
-> maxverstappen1 aren't you MY wife
-> lilymhe divorce exists
-> yourusername she has a point
username im paralysed like WHAT DO U MEAN THEY'RE MARRIED
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, danielricciardo and 895,315 others
maxverstappen1 something about how i'd marry you with paper rings and in this case, a string (or $1 rings from vending machine)
tagged yourusername
9,628 comments
maxverstappen1 i did not write the caption
-> maxverstappen1 y/n wrote this caption
-> yourusername i did not write this caption
username bitches be crying bc two people who do not know her at all are being cute and parents i am bitches
username she can spit on me
-> username she can ruin me actually
username nah ur not ginna distract us w this post WE NEED ANSWERS
-> username FRRRR LIKE WDYM UR HER HUSBAND
username pretty people (max and y/n) ruining it for the others (me)
username last slide made my heart crack
charles_leclerc i have heard you sing that little song to yourself. you wrote this caption.
-> maxverstappen1 i hope you like my rear
-> yourusername no bc he actually does
-> charles_leclerc i mean...
-> maxverstappen1 are we about to kiss right now?
-> alexandrasaintmleux does this mean......yourusername
-> yourusername babe come over ❤️
-> username what in the world is happening in this comments section
username everyday i wake up against my will and lose a part of myself knowing that my wife was snatched up by a vroom vroom mutation
username max it's ok to love ur wife!!!!!!!! we do too!!!!!!!!
-> maxverstappen1 she's not my wife. referring to her as such damages my reputation
-> yourusername i hope u like the doghouse
-> maxverstappen1 fun fact! we don't have a dog
-> yourusername new fact! now we do
-> maxverstappen1 uh
-> username i live for y/n terrorizing max every moment of the day
username nah my eyes are js overflowing with fluid im not crying 😂😂😂😂😂
username someone sedate me...........is max being romantic (?????????) on the main
username this is the peak of my existence
username lord what have i done wrong
danielricciardo as if you're not literally sitting on her lap right now
-> maxverstappen1 she tripped me
-> yourusername u literally told me that u would commit heinous crimes if i didn't let u sit on my lap
-> maxverstappen1 you tripped me
-> username i need to put his brain under a microscope and js SEE
-> username no bc how he goes from point a to point b needs to be scientifically studied
username don't mind me js going crazy over the fact that my parents MAY be married
yourusername u told me that i was the one who should propose
-> maxverstappen1 yes
-> yourusername and then snatched my ring and proposed to ME with MY ring
-> maxverstappen1 yes
-> yourusername yeah lemme js 🧠🔬
yourusername in any case, the answer would be fuck no ❤️
-> maxverstappen1 i'm calling christian and telling him that you're bullying his first driver.
yourusername IT'S A LOVE STORY BABY JS SAY YES!!!!!!!! (yes)
-> maxverstappen1 uh, i already asked charles_leclerc so...
-> charles_leclerc sorry
-> yourusername homwrecker
-> charles_leclerc there was no home to wreck
-> yourusername yeah i'll js sing boyfriend by dove cameron to alex instead
username this comments section is what keeps me up at night
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by maxverstappen1, carmenmmundt, landonorris and 1,527,278 others
yourusername babygirl u are a very freak and strange. i am deeply in love with u. all jokes aside, we made it. i know we got married like weeks ago but marrying u like FOR REAL has been the most beautiful moment of my life. i wanna spend everyday with u, in this life and all the others. vegas was a trip but even then, it was perfect with u, the one i was marrying and as taylor swift said "i like shiny things but i'd marry u with paper rings" or in our case, $1 rings from the vending machine. i wanna go to museums with u and point to pictures with weird guys and say "that's u". i wanna dance in the kitchen with u. i wanna look back after decades at all these memories and laugh, knowing that my now-self made the best decision. i love u even if u have me saved as "DO NOT ANSWER ❌" in ur phone. i think forever would be nice with u or till death do us apart (or someone in a suit if this escalates to a divorce).
tagged maxverstappen1
11,628 comments
username give me a minute. or a year
username hahahahahahaha PAUSE.
username no bc i missed the WHOLE BOOK instead of chapters
username and this is how they managed to break the f1 fandom
username PLEASE IM CRYING WHATCTYENFUCK
username they 😭 got 😭 married 😭
username IM CRYING WHATTTEYEGDHDJD
carmenmmundt all my love to both of you !! i love you and you deserve nothing but happiness 🤍 thank you so much for letting me be a part of your special day
-> yourusername carmen 🤍🤍🤍 u own my heart and thank UUUUUU for being a part of my big day
username "i think forever would be nice with u or till death do us apart (or someone in a suit if this escalates to a divorce)" y/n y/l/n how does it feel to be the most hilarious person ever 🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤
username im in SHAMBLES rn what the fuck
username someone sedate me bc there's NO way this is real
landonorris good luck because he's with you till you decompose
-> maxverstappen1 i'll go with her into the afterlife too like who the fuck she trying to meet there
-> yourusername bold of u to assume you'd even get in
-> maxverstappen1 is this what married life is like???
username i am unwell
username "i wanna go to museums with u and point to pictures with weird guys and say "that's u"" THIS IS TRUE LOVE
username and adding onto my 262728292 reasons
username the caption has me shaking on the floor gasping for breath
username i have PRAYED for times like these
username FUCJ YESHSHHSJSJSJS
danielricciardo the best night even though i don't remember any of it
-> yourusername u tried to set our marriage certificate on fire saying "it's set in stone now"
-> danielricciardo doing god's work
-> username no bc y/nmax nation would be in RUINS if it weren't for daniel
username sobbing they're soooo parents now it's crazy
username i js woke up whatcthebfufk
username AHSHSJJKKSSKAKSJSJKS
maxverstappen1 never changing your contact name
-> yourusername this is so not sexie new husband of u
maxverstappen1 we look lovely
-> yourusername yes we do
maxverstappen1 mrs. y/l/n-verstappen
-> yourusername mr. verstappen-y/l/n
username YELLING THIS IS REVOLUTIONARY
username screeching when will it be my turn
username never ever ever getting over this caption
username this will go down in history for YEARS to come
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, danielricciardo and 2,128,268 others
maxverstappen1 never really did sappy posts but this means the world to me and i guess there's a first (???) time for everything. all i can say is that i truly cannot wait to spend all my days with you and go to sleep thinking that i can't wait to do it again tomorrow. and i think, there's nothing more lovelier than that. you once told me that i deserved the world, i hope we get to see it together. i wanna hear how your day was, today and tomorrow and every day after that. but before getting to all those tomorrows, here's to our forever that's summed up for me in a small moment.
tagged yourusername
13,628 comments
username shut up and think about what u did
username i can't cry im in class WHY WOULD U DO THIS TO ME
username no bc this is literally my last straw ENOUGH
username "here's to our forever that's summed up for me in a small moment" THIS DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE AND IT MADE ME SOB
username no bc he had no RIGHT to post this
username girlypop im still recovering from y/n's post give me 4-5 business years
username not cool max verstappen not COOL.
username tears are streaming down my face what the actual fuck
landonorris okay i shed a few tears
-> maxverstappen1 mate you were sobbing while giving your speech
-> landonorris I SUFFERED THE MOST OKAY
-> username no bc lando is their ACTUAL child of divorce
username this is ASTRONOMICAL like this is INSANE
username the bar is so high it js looks like a dash at this point
username everyone go home. max js won
-> maxverstappen1 winning on and off track
-> yourusername u cried when i beat u in mario kart
-> maxverstappen1 I CAN'T DRIVE
-> yourusername UR A PROFESSIONAL DRIVER
username further proof of if he wanted to he would
username "i truly cannot wait to spend all my days with you and go to sleep thinking that i can't wait to do it again tomorrow" js take me swiftly and now
username IN LOVE WITH THEIR WEDDING AESTHETIC LIKE IT EATS SO HARD
username i've prayed for times like these ❤️
charles_leclerc can't believe you would cheat on me
-> maxverstappen1 might just leave her for you
-> yourusername is this a bad time to tell u both that im already seeing someone???? alexandrasaintmleux
-> alexandrasaintmleux my angel ❤️
-> charles_leclerc wait a minute
-> maxverstappen1 now hold on
username live for men are unapologetically in love with their partners like there's nothing more sexy than that
username liar every single post abt y/n has been a sappy post
-> maxverstappen1 she holds me hostage every time
-> yourusername divorce papers look so sexy rn
username IT'S BEEN SUCH A LONG JOURNEY Y'ALL WE MADE IT
username my babies ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
danielricciardo tell lando i'm the godfather
-> landonorris he WON'T because you're NOT
-> maxverstappen1 guys we don't even have a baby
-> danielricciardo obviously we're talking about the future. your swimmers ain't THAT competitive unlike you
-> yourusername BAHAHAHAHA PLEASE UR SO WRONG FOR THAT
-> maxverstappen1 and you're officially out of the godfather contestants
username need a documentary on this like my life depends on this bc it DOES
username i never will be moving on from this post
yourusername i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
-> maxverstappen1 likewise
-> yourusername yeah i'll just
*yourusername deleted this comment*
yourusername ty
-> maxverstappen1 have a sense of humour
-> yourusername i married u what's funnier than THAT
-> username CLEARED HIM
-> username LFMSOAOAOAO
yourusername nice caption, wonder who edited it 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
-> maxverstappen1 i don't know, this girl who follows me everywhere and calls me maximus
-> yourusername she sounds cute
-> maxverstappen1 yeah, she really is
yourusername nvm idgaf I LOVEEEEEE YOU
-> maxverstappen1 i love you more
yourusername husband
-> maxverstappen1 wife
username giggling rn im sooooo happy
username i will show this to my kids
2K notes · View notes
muwapsturniolo · 30 days
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✯CYBER SEX✯
THEE MUWAPGUCCI COLLAB PT 1
IN WHICH… Matt and Chris Sturniolo are just two inexperienced losers.
Lemme see you beat it, I'm feelin' just like Mike 
Warnings: NSFW CONTENT AHEAD! NO ACTUAL SMUT BUT MENTION OF PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL AND BODY PARTS.
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Humming is heard within the dark room, followed by the sound of typing and the clicking of a mouse. Matt's eyes dart across the screen, his glasses perched upon his nose. He was currently in his room, dressed in grey sweatpants and a long-sleeved crewneck. He was attempting to finish his paper that was due in a week, always eager to stay on top and ahead of the game when it came to his studies. However, he was distracted, his eyes periodically darting to the top of his screen.
9:00
9:30
10:00
10:30
He quickly saves his paper and goes to the website he has logged on to so many times.
Chaturbate.
A pornographic website providing live webcam performances.
He found the site a couple of months ago by accident. He was on his computer, looking up websites to help him write his paper when one of the sites opened up a separate tab with the erotic webpage. He was shocked to see multiple freeze frames of girls in lingerie or having sex.
Even though he lived alone, he felt like he was going to get caught. He quickly slammed his laptop shut. Now he wasn’t a prude, he didn’t care if people had sex,
But he himself has never done it, he hasn’t even touched himself.
Out of curiosity, he slowly opened the laptop again. He hesitated when scrolling through the pages, his eyes analyzing the multiple streams. Even though he could feel his pants tightening, none of the girls called out to him,
Until he found her.
It was a freeze frame of her in a baby blue lingerie set, smiling as she held a phone. He didn’t know what it was about her that caught his attention, but he found himself clicking on her stream.
That was the first night he had ever touched himself.
Since then, he has made it a tradition to touch himself every Thursday night when she goes live.
He logs in with ease, his password and username already being saved. His heart skips a beat as he sees the pink dot next to her name, signaling she's on and live. He clicks on the stream and watches as his favorite girl's smile greets him.
"Hi everyone." she's sitting on her bed, her body covered in a lavender lingerie set. "I know you guys will be mad at me, but this will be a very short stream, only 20 minutes." Matt's smile visibly deflates.
20 minutes? She’s only going to be live for 20 minutes?
He debates on just closing out of the stream, but he can’t find it in himself to do so.
“Aww guys, I promise I will make up for it! Maybe I’ll pull out the fucking machine in my next stream.” He can feel his pants tightening at the thought of her using the machine.
“But, I wanted to tell you guys that I have a surprise for you! Any guesses?” He watches as her eyes dart across the screen, reading the comments flooding in. “These are good guesses, but no one has gotten it yet. 2 more minutes and then I’ll tell you.”
Usually, Matt never comments, always preferring to be a silent viewer but, he wants to change that tonight.
Megamattsturn: does it involve us possibly meeting you?
He watches as her eyes light up and she giggles.
“Megamattsturn seems to have the right idea. You’re a smart boy aren’t you?” He sucks in a sharp breath at the praise, his pants tightening even more.
“I’m hosting a competition for you all! Before I describe what the competition is, it is-“ Matt gets distracted by the way her glossed lips catch in the light, the particles of glitter shining off the pink LED lights in her room. He could only imagine the glittery residue on his dick after she sucks him off.
“-So finally the competition! I know most of you have begged to meet me, even though all you want to do is have sex with me, so I thought I would extend the offer.” Matt perks up, his interest peaked.
“One of you will have the opportunity to take me on a date, and if I feel comfortable enough, maybe one of you will get lucky.”
Matt watches as the chat blows up with men and women already begging to be picked.
“So after I end the stream, a link will be available on my account that will take you all to the form. As I stated previously, it is $50 to enter. The form asks basic questions. Name, age, height, what your interests are sexually, if you have any STDs, and where you are located. At the end of the form, you do have to submit a video of yourself explaining why you think you should be the one to take me out on a date. And because I refuse to take anything small, I would like a video of your-.” She trails off with a smirk.
“Does anyone have any questions?” She waits a few moments and sees that everything is good, before giving the stream one last smile and logging off.
The page reloads and it takes him back to her account page. Sure enough a pink link is in her bio.
He hovers his mouse over it, getting ready to click it when he backs out. He shakes his head and clicks out of the tab, standing up and walking out of his room.
“Be serious Matt, she wouldn’t pick you anyway.” He mumbles as he grabs a water bottle out of the fridge. He walks back into his room and decides to try and finish his essay.
He struggles to stay on topic, the idea of the competition still lingering in his mind. He groans and saves his essay before shutting down his computer. He figures he will work on it tomorrow and just go to bed for now. He turns his lights off and lays down in his bed, his mind racing.
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Matt sits in the campus library trying to do his homework, except his mind is clouded with the thoughts of the competition. It’s been a few days since the competition was announced and it’s all he could think about.
It’s pissing him off.
He wasn’t able to concentrate on his studies, he couldn’t pay attention in class, he couldn’t even listen to his music without thinking of this god-forsaken competition.
Deep down he wants to enter, he truly does.
He has the opportunity of a lifetime to take the girl in his dreams on a date, but there’s one problem,
He’s never been on a date, and he’s never even touched a girl.
He’s a virgin.
He just started masturbating a few months ago and now he might lose his virginity? There’s too much for him to think about.
He groans in aggravation and slams his book shut, snatching off his glasses and rubbing over his face. With a deep sigh, He leans back in his chair with crossed arms, staring down at the book in front of him.
He needs to get this sorted out before it really starts to affect his schoolwork.
Suddenly, a group of girls walk into the library and take a seat at a table next to him. He fights the urge to roll his eyes, the fact that they sat next to him when there were multiple empty seats all around pissing him off to no end.
He tries to shake off the frustration and opens his book again, grabbing his pencil and taking notes.
“Can you believe he sent me a picture of his dick?” This conversation took Matt by surprise, his note-taking stopping abruptly. “A picture?” One of the other girls responds. Matt tries to ignore them, but he can’t help but listen in.
“Yes! He sent the typical ugly-ass dick pic just holding it! Like bro, send a video from a good angle and let me hear you moan!” The girl exclaims rolling her eyes. The other girls laugh before switching to another topic, but Matt is still stuck on the previous one.
He knows he shouldn’t have listened in on the conversation, but they were telling him good information.
Girls don’t like awkward dick pics, they prefer videos of the guy jerking off and moaning. His cheeks begin to warm at the thought of sending a risqué video like that.
He’s pulled out of his thoughts by one of the girls turning to him, “hey you?”
Matt turns and look at them awkwardly, he can barley hold eye contact with them, his eyes looking everywhere but theirs. “Y-yeah?” His stutter makes one of the girls giggle. “You’re a guy right?”
“I-I would hope so…” He mumbles setting his pencil down.
She moves closer to him, her phone in hand. “Good, because maybe you could help me with this.” She unlocks the phone before shoving it in his face. Matt’s eyes widen seeing the picture of the dick, he quickly turns his head.
“Why do guys send pictures like this? Like it’s so ugly and does nothing to turn us on!”
Matt shrugs not really knowing what to say, “I-I don’t kn-Have you ever sent a picture of your dick? What angle did you take it from?” She cuts him off mid-sentence, taking a seat next to him.
Matt can’t belive how open this girl is asking him these questions. He couldn’t even sit through health class but she’s bold enough to ask him about his dick pic experience?
“I’ve n-never sent a picture like that…” He trails off, finally looking at the girl. She was pretty tall and had all the right curves in all the right places. “Really? You have never taken a dick pic?”
He shakes his head, nervously adjusting his glasses, “I have the opportunity to send one though….I-I just don’t know what to do.” He finds himself awkwardly admitting to his situation. All the girls stare at him with wide eyes.
He’s never sent a dick pic? He's a 21-year-old guy in college and he never took or sent a dick pic?
Their studies are quickly forgotten as they help educate Matt on taking the best picture and video. He thought the girls would judge him on his lack of experience, but they were all helpful and open-minded, claiming that if he is going to send one, he needs to make sure it’s actually pleasing.
Matt’s listening to everything they are saying, taking mental notes as well as real ones, so he won’t forget when it comes time. The girls find it adorable how actively he’s paying attention, asking questions that are questionable, but somehow still remaining polite.
"Aww, guys! We are like his older sisters teaching him how to get a girl!" One of the girls gushed. They all fall out into laughter, finding the statement true. They decide to pack up and leave since it's getting late out. They walk out of the library, holding arms with one another, Matt included.
The girls don’t care about him being a boy, they could tell in the short time frame they knew him, he was truly a nice guy. He was just shy and a bit awkward, but he was genuinely sweet.
They say their goodbyes and Matt begins to drive to his apartment. He catches a red light and leans back in the seat, a smile on his face. his phone buzzes making him look down.
Chaturbate message from lovely/n: Hey everyone! Just wanted to remind you that the link expires in one day! Make sure you enter! I’m excited to see the faces of my viewers!!
A new-found confidence surges through Matt,
He's going to enter the competition.
With his adrenaline pumping, he rushes through the door of his home, throwing his bag down on the counter and making his way to his bedroom. he plops down in front of his monitor and turns it on, quickly going to the taboo site and opening up her page.
Once again he hovers over the link, the little voice in his head telling him not to do it, telling him he wouldn't even get picked.
He shakes his head and clicks on the link. The screen reloads and a pink page pops up, a bright message is displayed, enticing everyone to submit their entry.
Matt scrolls down and clicks on the hot pink enter button.
Trying not to second guess himself, he begins to fill out the form
Name: Matt Sturniolo
Username on Chaturbate: megamattsturn
Age: 21
Height: 5'8
Location: LA
Hobbies:
Matt sighs in frustration. He was never good at telling people what his hobbies are, his mind always drawing a blank at the question. He goes through the list of things he likes doing and chooses a few that seem more appealing.
Hobbies: I really love writing, I'm actually majoring in film because I love to journal and I would love to turn my thoughts and feelings into movies, or even music videos. I also like to play video games... I know it's a bit cringy but it brings me a sense of nostalgia since I would play with my brothers all the time. I also really love the Lego sets you can build and keep, my favorite was the bonsai tree.
Tell me about yourself: I'm a triplet, the middle one to be exact. One of my brothers goes to college in NYC, while my other brother goes to college in Chicago. I'm originally from Boston MA and I have a dog named Trevor back in Boston.
Sexual interests:
He hesitates, he's not sure what he's into sexually. He's never experimented but he believes he would be open to it.
Sexual interests: I'm not too sure. I do believe I would be open to almost anything within reason.
What would our date look like?:
This form has to be mocking him, constantly reminding him that he is the least experienced person there is. It might as well call him a loser. He wants to back out so bad, but he's almost done so he keeps going.
What would our date look like?: I'm not a fancy person, so I wouldn't take you to some fancy dinner unless that's what you would like. I would most likely take you to some type of fair or arcade so I could win you something. Then we would sit somewhere with food and just talk. it's not the greatest date but I think it would be fun.
Submit your video here:
He stares at the pink words, his heart beating in his ears.
"Ok, you can do this Matt! come on!" He hypes himself up. He quickly sets up his phone and presses record.
He smiles at the camera shyly, not making eye contact.
"Umm, hi Y/n... I'm going to try and keep this short because god knows I'll ramble due to me being nervous-" he takes a deep breath before continuing.
"The reason for this video is to answer the question 'why I should be the one to take you on a date.' And my answer is that I don't really know. If I'm being completely honest, none of us, the viewers, deserve to be in your presence. I mean we watch you take your clothes off and play-" he cuts himself off, looking away from the camera with flushed cheeks.
"Not that it's wrong that you do any of that, but in retrospect, we all seem like perverts for watching you do so... umm if I'm being completely honest I've never been on a date before and that's probably a huge turn-off but yeah." He trails off. He doesn't know what else to say so he ends the video. He watches it back and internally cringes at how awkward he looks.
He deletes the video and decides to try again
and again
and again
and again
"Take 5," he mumbles to himself, pushing his chair back.
"Ok, hi Y/n-" he runs a hand through his hair and fixes his glasses. "-this is like my fifth time making this video and honestly, I don't know. There's honestly no reason you should even be giving us a chance at all to go on a date with you. I've never deen on a date before, so I can't tell you why I should be the one to win. I just know you're really pretty, and I would love to treat you out to a fun night, even with no sexual favors involved." He finally looks back at the camera.
"And yeah, that's all I have to say." He ends the video, watching it over before deciding this is the one he wants to use. He sends it to his desktop and adds it to the form.
submit special video <3 :
"don't panic it's just a video... of you touching yourself." He slams his hand down on his desk in frustration. All his previous confidence whisked away as quick as it came.
"You're such a fucking loser Matt! Why can't you just send the fucking video?" He hits himself on the forehead a couple of times, attempting to knock some type of confidence into himself. he needs to calm down, if he keeps getting this worked up he's eventually going to back out completely.
He gets an idea.
He stands up and rushes out of his apartment, knocking on his neighbor's door. His neighbor was some older guy who always had some type of alcohol in his hand.
Now, Matt has never had a drink of alcohol, but he's heard of liquid courage and he needs any type of courage he can get at this point.
The neighbor answers, looking at Matt in confusion. "What's good bro?"
"I need alcohol," Matt states bluntly. The neighbor raises a brow and takes a sip from his beer. "Aren't you 21?"
"Y-yeah but I need some now and I-I know you always h-have some." The neighbor shrugs, not really caring.
All Matt remembers is stepping foot in the apartment and taking a shot. Next thing he knows, he's clumsily setting up his phone and crashing back onto his bed, pulling his laptop with one of her previous streams loaded closer to him.
He starts recording and presses play on the stream, his hand wrapping around the base of dick.
He whimpers softly as he begins to jerk himself off, the alcohol in his system making him even more sensitive than he already is.
“F-fuck Y/n”
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AHHHH MY FIRST COLLAB WITH MY POOKIE @guccifrog!!!!!! GO READ HER PART RN IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY! THIS IS A THREE PART COLLAB SO TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR PT 2!!!!
MWUAH, PEACHES 🍑
TAGLIST🍑
@bernardsgf @bernardsleftbootycheek @blahbel668 @mattfrfr @gdsvhtwa @sturniolo-aali @lily-loves-struniolos @kynda-avery @causeidontlikeagoldrush
@st7rnioioss @carolinalikesthings @mattslolita @suyqa @xxloveralways14 @pepsiimaxx @judespoision
@ivonchetooo1239 @imaslut4kehlani @that-general-simp @m4stermindd @itzdarling @gigisworldsstuff @adoreindie @braindead4l @pettydollie @chrissgirlsstuff @alexis007 @ratatioulle @yamamasjumpercables @luv4kozume @sturnioloslurps @kqyslyho3 @j3tblackt3ars @ilovestarz @lustfulslxt @soimightlikeoldmen69 @tastesousweet @slut4sebastiansallow @whicked-hazlatwhore @stasiesturn @loljackwasfat @nicksmainbitch @ninacutebee16 @mayhem-72 @sturniolosmind @breeloveschris @mattslolita @mattsivy @guccifrog @hysteria-things @mrssturnioloo @teenagetrash00 @koris_009 @patscorner @mayhem-72 @worldlxvlys @nickuniversity @luverboychris @thenickgirl
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luvkuvi · 11 months
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What's so good about him?!
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Scaramouche X reader ☆ Smau
synopsis — Your ex boyfriend kuni is in a band called 5wirl and they're pretty well known considering him and his bandmates are still in college but you still hated his guts on how he ended things with you back then in highschool the day before graduation. So whats the best course of action in this situation? make a hate account of him of course. 
Genre — SMAU, Gn! reader, 5wirl au, modern college au, ex to lovers, enemies to lovers-ish(its more of the reader disliking scara) slowburn,fluff,crack,angst, cyber bullying, lots of kys + kms jokes and just typical stan twitter behavior. pictures used for the reader isnt meant to represent the reader!! its more of using the pose !!
💌 — first smau!! might be ooc in some and may be cringe due to most of the chapters early on is just basically daily stan twitter but hope you enjoy!! slow and inconsistent updates. Also timestamps dont matter unless stated otherwise
Status — started: 06/15/23 (taglist open)
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Chapters:
babygirls + childe ☆ 5wirl
Teaser !
Act one ☆
01 – chill out
02 – dick riders
03 – unfold
04 – apologies
05 – better than him
06 – diversion
07 – diversion successful
08 – why now
09 – no
10 – please
11 – weird
12 – time
Act two ★
13 – curiosity
14 – no wonder
15 – catching up ☆
16 – stupid ☆
17 – coward
18 – selfish
19 – looking at you
20 – all too well
21 – change of mind
22 – interview
23 – quitting
24 – best friends
25 – suspicious
26 – surprise
27 – connecting the dots
28 – ignorance is bliss
Act three ☆
29 – trending
30 – overeacting
31 – well shit
32 – what
.
.
Bonus ★
bonus – Story of us
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Taglist!(closed): @sakiimeo @sagegreenthinks @evsolostheuniverse @ozzierenato @mechanicalbeat1 @bananasquash @admiringfish @misomiis @wolfe02 @msameikanevaeh @yukiipc @magica-ren @r0ttenhearts @vvyeislazzy @yuumaofc @klanxii @darthvada @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @yoyo-yui @deluluangel @katsumikumo @thenightsflower @lazy-sanns @sukunasrealgf @4thnocturne @danhenglovebot @sketcheeee @fumichannorakuen @featuredtofu @mine-lu @karma-gisa @amyena @onmywaytoteyvat @fujimoribaby @eliqusgenma @buubbbbly @reekapeeka @elernity @323jelly @kunikissr @miko1ly @feverish-dove @zuunotsane @pomeiu @yxcade @kascar-chronicle @supercoolusernameomg @otomegame-oneshots @cookieofwishes @swivy123(bold usernames means i couldn't tag you :<) 1/2
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xiaoswrld · 5 months
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cybercore usernames with the name: aspen
aspen.png
hackraspen
HTMLaspen
a.aspenet
linkaspen
error404spen
a-aspenbrwsr
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userstuf · 6 months
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★ RANDOM USERS 4 PINTEREST ★
• baletis
• fleurie
• terqilas
• quotir
• uranuis
fav/reblog if u save or use ♥︎ dont repost it
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snowleave · 11 months
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My new favorite past time is clicking on the very specific usernames and betting if they're a tumblr native or a reddit migrant.
Theres some give aways but most are pretty hard. Transshadowthehedgehog i would have sworn was reddit. Cyber-commie is a toss up. Cat sword. Im so glad we've found a common platform.
461 notes · View notes
kopilot-pop · 4 months
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[For you are loved.]
- New Jeans x Ex-IZ*ONE! Reader
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Request: You can write New jeans(separate) x Ex-izonereader Who is exhausted because he takes so much criticism (Like Wonyoung, only worse because she suffers🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😓😓😦)and just goes to them and lays on top of them, but oh..they fall asleep..just cute, Your works are too cute!!!!💗💗💗🐰🐰🐰😍😍
Warning(s): Cursing, self-hatred, cyber bullying, etc.
A/N: This is fluffy in the end so don’t be scared to read it because of the warnings. Love y’all, have fun!
———————————————————————
“I just don’t get why you’re with them.”
You froze.
You’re currently at a sign event, meeting hundreds of Bunnies, and having a chance to talk to them.
Everything went smoothly. You smiled at fans, they screamed, you said hi, they screamed, and when you posed for pictures you could hear clicks louder than the ones you heard on a red carpet.
Maybe you should’ve expected not everything could be that perfect.
A certain fan - although it’s clear she has a favorite - made you anxious the moment she sat down in front of you. You were last in the line, so you were able to watch the others interact with her. She brought small wrapped gifts for all your members, but when she arrived at your table, it was clear she was empty handed.
Not even a piece of paper for you to sign at a fucking sign event.
“I… I’m sorry?”
“You heard me.” She crosses her legs, folding up her arms on her chest. “I don’t understand why Ador even considered you to join.”
Realizing what’s happening, you quickly glance at the manager - unfortunately he’s busy handling an overexcited fan with Dani.
“I..”
“I don’t want your stupid signature, it’s the same lazy one you had with IZ*ONE.”
Oh.
“You should’ve just stayed alone and pathetic after the disbandment rather then ruining a perfect group.”
Wow.
“You’re an eye sore - do you even know that? A fucking rat standing next to the goddesses. Every day I pray that you get caught in a stupid scandal and leave like th-”
“Excuse me. Your time is over.”
The ‘fan’ quickly glares at the manager, and hurriedly leaves, stomping purposefully. He gently puts a hand on your shoulder.
“Sorry I came too late. You can stay out for the rest if you’d like-”
“It’s okay! I can’t keep my fans waiting. Thank you though.” The fake smile clearly doesn’t ease up your manager’s mind, but he knows you well, and decided to leave you back to work with a simple pat.
On your way home you started to read the comments about the interaction.
The same girl decided to brag about her interaction on Twitter. You recognized her username, having seen her and several other fans that loved New Jeans, but hated you.
From editing songs and group photos to exclude you, apparently they decided to finally face you and say the same things that they posted on the internet more directly.
Her post gained attraction -and even though the replies were filled with Bunnies protecting you and explaining how the poster went too far - several replies were filled with hate towards you.
How untalented you are.
How much they hate your voice.
How you didn’t deserve to be with them.
And even a very detailed; ‘100 reasons why Y/n should leave NJ’.
“Number 23, her personality is way too bitchy...” You accidentally mumble out, causing Hyein to snap her head towards you.
“What in the world are you reading unnie?!”
The commotion caused all the girls to look back at the two of you, watching as Hyein snatches your phone out of your grip.
She takes a few seconds to scroll through the thread, as her face becomes more and more sour.
“H-Hyein! Give it back-!”
The younger girl furiously taps on your phone and shuts it off before handing it to you.
“Wha- what did you do?”
“I reported them. Don’t worry about it unnie.”
“But-”
“What the hell are you guys up to?”
Minji, finally awoken from her nap, looks at the two of you with furrowed eyebrows.
“Some asshole was saying shit about Y/n unnie.”
“Woah! Language!”
“My reaction is nothing compared to what Hanni unnie would say if she saw it.”
“Why are you dragging me into this?!”
Minji, now more concerned by the maknae’s reactions, stared at you.
“EVERYONE I’M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE.”
Haerin’s (rare) loud voice clears the van.
“We’ll talk when we get home.”
You quickly ran towards your bedroom, locking the door to avoid any contact. You shove your face into the bed letting out a loud groan.
‘I’m used to this. You’re used to this Y/n. This happened 4 years ago, it shouldn’t be that surprising for it to happen again...’
It was the same hate you received ever since you even joined Produce. It always happened, it always existed.
So why does it hurt so much this time?
Was it the comparing? Was it the comment about your skill? Maybe it was the way your members caught your brooding this time.
God, you hope they don’t know about the other times.
The nights you spent awake, wasting your mind reading disgusting comments from older videos. The holidays you spent crying alone at the dorm as you read yet another article about how you ‘mocked someone’. The hours you spent at the company, running your bones and muscles until you felt like ‘you deserved to be with them’.
You’re the most experienced one out of the whole group. You know how common negative comments are.
But it hurts so much more when you’re with the girls.
“Unnie?”
A knock causes you to shoot up from your crying session.
“Y-… Yup?! Yeah??”
You stumble towards the door, but before you could open the door, the full mirror next to your closet made you hesitate.
You teary face and clearly red eyes stopped you from opening the door.
“Um.. do you need something Dani?”
“Oh, yeah. The six of us are gonna have a movie night! Don’t you remember..?”
Shit. You forgot.
“I.. I’m sorry Dani. I think I have a cold. Don’t want you guys catching i-”
“A COLD?! Are you okay unnie!!? Do you need anything!?” Dani’s panic made you groan at your mistake.
After minutes of convincing her to join the others, you finally hear her shuffle away from the other side of the door.
You don’t wanna be seen like this. You’re the tough senior. You’re not the oldest, but the most experienced.
You deal with this alone. Not with others.
Why waste their energy anyways?
It’s 3 a.m. when you wake up on the floor.
Your face is still wet from the tears. You ears rang uncomfortably and the mirror still shows a very puffy, tired version of you.
Wiping your face with your sleeves, you quietly make your way to the kitchen - praying that the girls finished their movie night, and all went to bed.
You quietly creak open the door and tiptoe towards the kitchen. But before you could get there, something catches your eye.
The TV screen still plays an old comedy movie - shining a bright light towards the pile in front of the couch.
The air mattress you bought a few weeks ago was on the floor and the girls were all lying on top of it. That’s what you expected, so it wasn’t a surprise.
The empty pillow between Minji and Hanni was the surprising part.
The six of you always had an order you guys laid in.
And you always slept between Minji and Hanni.
You froze and stared at the cold pillow. The sore throat you felt disappeared, replaced by a sudden warmth in your chest. The tears didn’t feel as heavy as they did when you stood besides the mirror.
Like a magnet, you unconsciously gravitated towards the small space. You slowly laid down, staring up into the dark ceiling as the ringing in your ears turned into soft snores all around you.
You could finally hear the laugh tracks coming from the TV, the whirring of the fridge, and the shuffling of sheets.
It wasn’t loud, but enough to calm your mind.
You’re here. You’re in their arms. You’re not a target on the internet, you’re not a ghost from a different group, and you’re certainly not some bitchy asshole as the world makes you out to be.
You’re a New Jeans member.
You’re an adored idol.
And you’re certainly a loved group mate.
Hanni’s unconscious gentle hold on your arm reminds you of that, once again.
———————————————————————
378 notes · View notes
sherifftillman · 11 months
Text
Happy to Help
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Pairing: Keys x f!Reader Genre: smut (18+, minors DNI) Word count: 3.7k Summary: Forgetting you'd spoken to customer support from your favourite game leads to something getting sent to the wrong person. A/N: Listen, I know there's a set-up for potentially more. I would like to write potentially more. But nothing puts a writer off more than demands for a part 2, okay? For now, enjoy my first ever Keys fic. :)
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Welcome to Free City Customer Support. We appreciate your patience. Connecting you to a member of our team…
Keys: Hi there! What seems to be the problem today?
You: hi, my screen is like. frozen dead. can't do anything, can't click anything. can't alt-tab out, can't ctrl-alt-delete. but i made a lot of progress between save points and idk if it can still be salvaged
Keys: Oof, yeah, that's the worst. Hopefully we can get you back up and running. Real quick, are you sure it's not your internet? I mean, you seem like you know your way around a computer, just worth double-checking, if it's your network then there's not a lot I can do.
You: yeah, sorry, should have added that. everything else that connects to my internet is working. i have an error message if that helps?
Keys: Yes! That's amazing! Can you send me it, please?
You: it says "error 72816: attempting patch repair"
You: there was a spinning buffering wheel in the corner but it gave up the ghost about twenty minutes ago.
Keys: Interesting. I don't remember making that error message, let alone what would trigger it. Are you sure that's what it says? No typos?
You: you wound me.
You: jk jk sorry this is a Very Professional Customer Support Exchange. no, definitely no typos.
Keys: Hahaha, don't worry, I've read far worse messages from people today, that made me laugh!
Keys: This is a little unorthodox but I'm wracking my brain here and I can't think of another solution. If I give you my work phone number, would you text me a photo of your screen?
Keys: Usually, I'd ask for an email of a screenshot, but, well…
You: yeah sure, whatever gets me out of this purgatory.
Keys: Super appreciate your patience here. My number is: 
Keys: [redacted]
Keys: Okay, got it, deleted the message with my number so it won't show up in chat history, in case you're wondering. Data protection and all.
You: the professional techie guy with the techie-ass nickname being cautious about cyber security? groundbreaking.
Keys: Haha! You got me there!
Keys: Oh! Wait! Are you registered as a beta tester?
You: no?? i didn't know that was a thing??
Keys: Yeah, all ours are internal and I don't recognise your username in our database, now that I've pulled it up. I think you must have just slipped through the cracks, let me look into the code of our new test area and see if I can boot you back out.
You: ooh, are you gonna come bursting in through my door with a swat team to erase my memory, too?
Keys: I'm just a "professional techie guy" here, not a Man In Black, haha. 
Keys: Hey, I see you!
Keys: In this code, I mean.
Keys: It's showing up that there's an unauthorized player.
Keys: That's what I meant.
You: well yeah, didn't think you were in my walls or anything
Keys: Just making sure! Didn't want you really thinking I was stalking you or anything.
Keys: Still don't remember making that error message, but that's another mystery, I guess.
You: ooh, maybe the game's becoming sentient and it's outgrowing us all!
Keys: There's that imagination again!
Keys: I'm gonna reset your position to your safehouse, hopefully also keeping your progress intact? If this doesn't work then a hard reboot is unfortunately the only other way.
You: you're a doll.
You: AHHHH IT WORKED I'M BACK AND I STILL GOT A SICK ASS BIKE WAITING FOR ME IN MY GARAGE
You: THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHHHHH
Keys: Pleasure's all mine, glad I could help. Please reach out if it happens again! Or if you have any other issues!
You: will do. so long, techie guy. thanks for everything!
Keys: Happy playing!
— — — —
It's been a relatively quiet Friday evening for you. Nobody's made any plans to go out, and you're unsure yourself whether you have the energy to. You've pretty much spent your whole day gaming, so you should probably fill your social battery a little, but do you really want to go to a bar by yourself?
You glance over at your phone and smirk at it. There is that guy you've been talking to… Maybe you'll send him something to spice the night up.
Once you've done your hair and make-up to add to the whole look, you find your cutest set of underwear, put it on and take a couple of selfies until there's one you're especially pleased with. Your muscle memory has you tapping three message contacts down, where he always is since you've been texting friends all day, and sending the photo on autopilot with the message: Hey, you.
You giggle with delight when your phone chimes almost immediately after - you've really got this guy whipped, huh - but are surprised to see you've apparently forgotten who else you texted today.
[8:23pm] Keys: OH
[8:23pm] Keys: OH NO
[8:23pm] Keys: I think
[8:23pm] Keys: You've sent this
[8:24pm] Keys: To the wrong person
[8:24pm] Keys: I'm so sorry I saw that!
[8:25pm] You: that's okay, i don't mind that you saw it. :)
[8:25pm] You: besides, burning the midnight oil, still being at your work phone?! don't they have out of hours customer service?
[8:29pm] Keys: I… Might have lied about this being my work phone. I normally have one, but it's getting fixed so I thought I would get away with saying it was a work line to help you out.
[8:30pm] You: and then i went and accidentally sent you an unsolicited lewd. sorry.
[8:36pm] Keys: It was just a shock, is all!
[8:38pm] You: well, since we're both here, and since you haven't deleted the photo yet despite how quickly you deleted your number from the chat log earlier, *and* how long it's taking you to reply, what do you think?
[8:40pm] Keys: Oh god, you're so right, I'm so sorry, I'll delete it now.
[8:40pm] You: don't!
[8:40pm] You: like i said, i want your feedback on it now.
[8:41pm] Keys: Oh! Well, it's very nice.
[8:41pm] You: nice?! ouuuuch.
[8:42pm] Keys: What do you mean? Nice is a compliment!
[8:43pm] You: yeah, from your grandma when you've given her a birthday card. c'mon, i can take it. tell me what you REALLY think. :)
[8:50pm] Keys: I… I think you're very attractive.
[8:51pm] You: there you go! it's super adorable that you're stammering over text, btw.
[9:01pm] Keys: [image attached]
[9:01pm] Keys: It felt weirdly unbalanced that you at least didn't know what I looked like, too.
[9:02pm] You: well damn, no wonder they call you keys, because you are just my *type!*
[9:02pm] You: get it?
[9:03pm] Keys: …That was cheesy as hell.
[9:03pm] Keys: But I like cheese :]
[9:03pm] You: oh yeah? give me your cheesiest pick-up line 
[9:13pm] Keys: Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe!
[9:13pm] You: i award that 🧀🧀🧀/5. you could be cheesier.
[9:19pm] Keys: Okay, fine.
[9:20pm] Keys: Are you Google? Because you have everything I'm searching for.
[9:22pm] You: 🧀🧀🧀🧀. are YOU google because i'm feeling lucky. ultimate cheese has no comeback. c'mon, you're so close.
[9:26pm] Keys: Oof, okay, give me a sec.
[9:28pm] Keys: Although really you should never use Google if you can help it, they already datamine so much information out of you that the less you use any Google product, the safer you are. I use DuckDuckGo myself, but you should really do your own research when it comes to cybersecurity rather than just blindly trust someone, even if they are a professional.
[9:28pm] You: keys.
[9:29pm] Keys: Right. Sorry.
[9:38pm] Keys: If you were a grade, you'd be A+, because I want to take you home and show you to my parents.
[9:39pm] You: okay, that wins. maximum cheese for keys 🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀
[9:39pm] You: next ranking category: 🌶️ 
[9:39pm] You: let's see what you got, hot stuff
[9:45pm] Keys: What?! I can't just send you stuff like that! That's so forward!
[9:46pm] You: keys you've seen my tits
[9:46pm] You: i think we're past that
[9:55pm] Keys: Accidentally!
[9:55pm] You: and all the time you spend scrolling back up to it is "accidental", too?
[9:56pm] Keys: …How could you tell?
[9:57pm] You: every now and then you take a little bit longer between messages. just assuming you're scrolling up lol
[9:56pm] You: like i keep saying. i don't mind at all. you don't have to be shy around me
[9:58pm] Keys: Well, since all my cards are apparently on the table so obviously…
[9:58pm] Keys: Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a foot-long.
[9:59pm] You: ????? talk about 0-60! also i think that deserves negative 🌶️ for the psychic damage it caused me to read
[10:00pm] Keys: You just turned my software into hardware.
[10:00pm] You: what happened to "that's so forward", eh?
[10:01pm] You: but, credit where it's due, 🌶️🌶️. normally a 🌶️ but from you it's like a 2.5/5
[10:01pm] Keys: Your outfit would look great on my bedroom floor.
[10:01pm] You: oh
[10:02pm] You: oh my god
[10:02pm] You: oh you sweet boy, you're googling them, aren't you
[10:02pm] You: or whatever you use instead
[10:04pm] Keys: Some of us need the extra help! We're not all as smooth as you.
[10:04pm] You: sure you are, baby, you just need to get comfortable
[10:05pm] Keys: But I'm already on my bed!
[10:05pm] You: not just in that way! try taking something off
[10:06pm] You: and then send me proof 😇
[10:11pm] Keys: [image attached]
[10:11pm] Keys: ;]
[10:12pm] You: taking off your glasses doesn't count, dork!
[10:12pm] Keys: [image attached]
[10:12pm] Keys: like this?
[10:13pm] You: holy fuck
[10:13pm] You: hi you're hot
[10:14pm] Keys: Hahaha, thank you? I still don't feel any more charismatic, though!
[10:15pm] You: well, going back to your line about being like a good grade you wanna take home… does that maybe mean you also want to pin me up on the fridge?
[10:18pm] Keys: Well, the fridge isn't very sturdy. I think I'd rather do that against the wall.
[10:18pm] You: okay now *that’s* hot
[10:18pm] You: and what would you do with me once you'd pinned me to the wall? 
[10:24pm] Keys: I'm not very good at all of the imaginative talk stuff that sounds sexy. Even using the word seems like the total opposite of what I'm trying to do.
[10:25pm] You: not at all, sometimes bluntness is the sexiest thing of all.
[10:29pm] Keys: Well, I'd really like to kiss you. All over, actually. 
[10:29pm] You: *all* over?
[10:31pm] Keys: Yeah. The way you were posing made your neck look amazing.
[10:32pm] Keys: Oh god, now I sound like a vampire
[10:34pm] You: i promise you don't, that was my intention when i took it lol. besides, vampires are sexy as hell. i'd love it if you kissed my neck
[10:34pm] You: would you touch me?
[10:35pm] Keys: Wouldn't I be holding you against the wall?
[10:36pm] You: true, but there's other ways. like, you could put your leg between mine to keep me in place
[10:37pm] You: mmm, and then i could grind against your thigh while you keep this little promise of kissing and touching me *all over*
[10:37pm] You: does that sound good?
[10:41pm] Keys: Oh god yes
[10:43pm] You: and then that leaves my hands free to touch you, too. i wanna play connect the dots with those cute little moles of yours
[10:47pm] Keys: Oh my god
[10:48pm] Keys: that made me want to trace them myself for some reason and that felt so good
[10:49pm] You: you're touching yourself AND not paying attention to grammar anymore? for lil ol' me?
[10:49pm] You: that deserves a reward, i think 
[10:51pm] You: [image attached]
[10:51pm] You: i seem to have lost my bra, come over and help me find it?
[10:58pm] Keys: holy shit 
[10:58pm] Keys: can i just say what i'm thinking and then you can tell me if i'm going to far 
[10:59pm] You: i think you mean *too, nerd boy, but yes, i'd love that
[11:06pm] Keys: sorry typing is getting difficult at the moment
[11:11pm] Keys: i want to hold them so bad. they look amazing, especially with your nipples so hard
[11:11pm] You: when you say typing is difficult, are you touching yourself right now?
[11:12pm] You: because now i'm playing with my nipples and wishing it was you
[11:13pm] You: tell me, baby. you want me to rub them? squeeze them? you wanna come over and suck on them?
[11:17pm] Keys: i want to feel them get hard. want to touch them while i kiss you
[11:17pm] You: attaboy! i knew you had it in you
[11:19pm] You: they're so sensitive now. and humping my pillow as if it’s your leg isn't enough, can i touch myself for you, please?
[11:23pm] Keys: oh god yes please do
[11:23pm] You: are you okay to call? i have a feeling both of us are getting preoccupied now
Your phone lights up with the name "Keys Freecity" and you immediately put it on speaker, letting the phone rest on your pillow next to you. "Well, hey there."
"Uh, hi." His voice is shaking and his breath is hitching.
"You know, you never told me if you were touching yourself or not," you point out.
"I - I am," he stammers out, and you purr back.
"God, I wish I was there to do that for you. Or at least to watch. I bet you look so fucking good right now. What are you thinking about, then, huh?"
"I was, uh… Thinking, about… The way you look up in those photos… And…" He falters out, but you hear the faintest groan, still.
"Aw, you want me to suck you off, baby?" You tease. "Thinking about me looking up at you? My lips wrapped around your cock? Mmm, I bet it's so big I can barely fit, huh?"
"I… I mean, it's not the sandwich I promised earlier, but… It's definitely bigger than… Average," Keys explains, and you don't hold back on the moan that hearing that news elicits from you.
You still laugh softly at his joke. "Yeah, I could tell, baby. Fuck, when are you coming over and splitting me in half already?"
"God, I wish I could," he replies in a strained voice. “Also, it’s really - hot when y- you call me that.”
"Yeah? And how do you like it, baby? You wanna fuck me on my back, so you can keep watching me as you play with me? Or you wanna be the one to lay there and take it while I bounce on your dick? Or d- do you wanna just - bend me over and - fuck me senseless, huh?" As you finally give into temptation, sliding your hand beneath your panties and finally giving your clit the attention it's been craving for far too long, your breath hitches and your voice gets weaker.
“Oh, god, I… All of it, god, please, I don’t care, just want you,” he groans through the phone.
“I want you too, baby, you sound so good,” you croon sultrily, rubbing yourself in faster, tighter circles. “Are you close, hm? Gonna cum for me? I wanna hear you get off so bad.”
“Wanna - wanna get off for yo- with you, want you, please,” he whines.
“Mmm, tell me one more time, baby. What are you thinking of now?” You ask as you sink a finger inside of you. “Thinking of fucking me, yet?”
“Mm - mm-hm,” Keys whimpers. “You - You on top of me, talking like that and - and riding me, treating my cock so good.”
“I’d treat you so good, baby," you groan, adding another finger. "And you'd fill me up, wouldn't you? Fuck me - oh, right there," you whine as you curl your fingers to hit just the right spot. "Oh god, Keys, need you inside me."
Something about you saying his name short-circuits his brain. You just about hear his strained string of moans and profanities through the phone, picturing in your head how that sweet face of his must look - eyes glassing over, lips slightly parted, chest heaving. Maybe you’d fuck him with his glasses on. Maybe they’d be clouded over, knocked askew on his face as you bounced up and down on his dick. “Did you just come for me, baby?” you coo, your shoulders tensing and toes curling as you feel your own release building.
"Mm-hm, yeah, made - made a real mess of myself, shit," he half-laughs with exhaustion.
“That’s my good boy,” you smile dazedly, your core convulsing around your fingers. "Want me to cum for you, too?"
"Oh, shit, you haven- where are my - God, fuck, yes, let me hear you s… Say my name," his voice shakes with the effort he's trying to exude confidence into his tone, betrayed by the immediate, "please," that rolls off his tongue.
Closing your eyes, imagining that look on his face again, pressing your phone flush against your ear as if it pulls him closer to you, you finally leg out an, "Oh, god, Keys!" before finally feeling yourself gush down your fingers, past your hand, even. Breathing heavily, you pant, "Shit, baby, I think you made me squirt."
"Is that a good thing?" he asks meekly.
"Very. You doing good, now?"
"Very!" He repeats back to you, breathlessly, making you laugh. "Sorry I was so… Pathetic, I guess. God," his voice muffles as though he's rubbing his face while he talks. "But it did sound like you were into it a little," he points out with a lilt in his voice.
You grin, "I sure did, but if you wanted to do it again, but more… Confidently, I'd be more than happy to do that again. If you wanted."
"I've never really done… Any of that before, like, at all," he starts, and you interrupt him with a laugh.
"Yeah, no shit, Mr Subway!"
"Ah, like I said, that's not entirely untrue," he laughs awkwardly. "But I've especially never done anything with a total stranger, much less someone I helped through work, um, they can't - you wo- please, don't -"
"You mean this isn't standard practice for Free City customer support?" You tease sarcastically, before adding in a serious tone, "I won't tell a soul. Besides, I like having you as my dirty little secret."
He chuckles, "Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah. Maybe the next time you're feeling up to it, we can video call."
"N-Next time?!"
You hurriedly add, "If you wanted, you sounded like you did, if this is the first and last, that's totally -"
"No! I mean, yeah! I mean… If that's… Cool," he stammers.
You smile, "It's very cool. Just gotta be a little more confident. Isn't there something you do when you need that extra boost? Like, surely in the game you gotta be a little more self-assured around trolls and hackers and shit, right?"
He groans, "I was hoping you wouldn't ask about that."
Grinning wickedly, you poke further. "Well, now I have to know. Who are you in the game? Have I ever seen you?"
"I… I play a cop," he admits, sounding as though he'd rather the ground swallowed him whole. "It's usually me and my buddy, and he's - he's a rabbit."
You light up. "Shut the fuck up, you're Dirty Stripper Cop?!"
"Oh god, the players call me that, too?! It's bad enough that Mouser does," he groans in despair.
"No, this is perfect. You just let me know when you’re ready to bring… Dirty Stripper Cop to our little talks, and I’ll be waiting,” you bite back a laugh as you repeat his character’s nickname in the hopes that he’ll still take your offer seriously.
A moment of silence exists between the two of you before he pipes up, “...And what if I still want to talk to you, without… All of this? I mean, if that’s all you want, then I guess, but… I dunno, you still seem really cool, and you made me laugh today, even at work when it felt weird in my cheeks to start smiling. But if this is all you want with -”
The rest of his words get drowned out as you move your phone away from its position to look at your dating app notifications. Keys has apparently not been your only option tonight. And you’ve never been one to commit. But something tells you that this was the best offer you’re getting. And the next one will be. As will the one after that, and that’s not even set in stone, yet. But you’re hoping to guarantee it.
As you return your headset to your ear, he’s still rambling. You cut him off with a simple, “Keys.” He shuts up quickly, and you continue, “I - I meant it. I wanna talk to you again. Maybe more than just this, I dunno, I’m bad at this sorta stuff. But… You’re cute. In more ways than one. And if you wanna keep talking, I’ll try. But that’s all I can promise.”
“That’s enough for me! I’ll, um, I’ll text you in the morning, then? Or is that too soon?”
“I honestly wish I could tell you,” you admit sadly. You hope it gets through to him that your reservations aren’t on his part.
Thankfully for you, he doesn’t seem so keen to give up. “Alright! Well, I suppose I got some cleaning up to do before I get some shut-eye. Um, so I’ll talk to you, tomorrow… At some point. Um, goodnight!”
“Goodnight, baby.”
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Note
Just curious...could this Sussex Squad thing turn into a legal investigation (if it's not already)? And what crimes would they be arrested for and what is the penalty?!??
The "general" stuff they do (for lack of a better word), like spread rumors about the Waleses and bully Kate's fans on social media, there's not a whole lot there. It's just seen as "coming with the territory" (also for lack of a better phrase).
Where the Sussex Squad could get into legal trouble is if or when they go after single accounts - doxxing them, dogpiling them, or escalating to death threats (or r*pe threats, threats of violence, etc.). All of that could qualify as stalking, intimidating, harassment, or incitement for violence for which there could be criminal charges levied. Depending on the severity and the jurisdiction, the penalty could range from slap-on-the-wrist fines to jail time.
Where it gets complicated is who reports these incidents and what kind of evidence or investigation there is to support the complaint. Usually the victim of a cyber crime has to report the incident (vs a bystander witness) and usually the onus on providing evidence to prove there's a case is on the victim - in most cases, the investigator (police, FBI, DHS, a lawyer) won't open a case unless the victim provides enough evidence to make it worth their time; screenshots of messages and usernames or phone numbers, IP addresses, voicemails, voice recordings. Which really sucks, but that's the grey area in a lot of cyber crime where the policies and practices are still being developed.
So for example, when Yankee Wally was doxxed and bullied off Twitter, only Yankee Wally could have reported the cyberbullying, the cyber harassment, the cyber stalking/intimidation and she would have had to provide evidence - e.g., screenshots of the tweets and the usernames/accounts who were harassing her. The rest of us wouldn't have been able to "call it in" for her. We could've helped take screenshots of any public messages she received or any posts/websites we saw where her PII published, but we most likely wouldn't have been able to report it to the FBI and have it taken seriously.
Which is why if you're ever the victim of a cyberbullying campaign, a doxxing, online harassment, it's super important you document everything. Take screenshots of all the messages you get (or see) and make sure all the identifying information is there like timestamps, usernames, account handles, and phone numbers. If you know how to get someone's IP address, grab that too. Save any voicemails or voice messages you get. If you answer a call that turns out to be harassment, document as much as you can; the number they called from, what time, what their voice sounded like, what they said. Have physical copies (printouts), electronic copies (screenshots), and backup copies.
If this is happening to you and you receive packages or letters in the mail from addresses you don't recognize, that are unusually heavy, or are leaking some kind of fluid/grease, don't open them, don't bring them inside, don't let children or pets near. Call the police to report it and follow their instructions about what to do.
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