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leavesfallensparse · 17 hours

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Cigarettes & Wine | M. Healy | 2

'I think I'll put you in another song, a little glimpse of you before you're gone.'

In which Sadie and Matty can't seem to get along at all. They refuse to see eye-to-eye, but Sadie is starting to find Matty's annoyed face a bit too hot. When faced with conversations about feelings, Sadie can't help but want to run away from it all.

warnings: implied alcoholism, implied panic attack (not in a written scene), smut (unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), fingering), lots of arguing, they both just spew shite at each other <3.

word count: 6.7k

authors note: lalalalala sadie matty smut lalalalala. so what it's angry (lowkey heartbreaking) smut, its still smut. i rlly had fun writing this and i am sorry for the angst <3 (not rlly x)

Sadie doesn’t think she’s ever felt anger like she’s feeling right now. The band had just gotten back to their flat after one of their more hectic shows, and George had obviously had the smart idea to go out after said show. Sadie missed out on this night out, feeling like her body was about to collapse inwards, but when the band returned home, loudly, she woke up and immediately seethed. Her anger worsened when she fully woke, she knew what was going on in Matty’s room due to them sharing a wall. Cheap flat means paper thin walls. As each day passes the urge to ask George to switch rooms with her grows.

The pornographic moans and groans paired with the bedframe that is just about banging her bedroom wall down is enough to make Sadie roll out of bed and leave her room with a huff. She almost regrets it when she sees Ross and George basically rolling on the kitchen floor trying to put a frozen pizza in the oven, Adam was standing over the pair just laughing at them. Sadie smirks but then when she hears another bang of Matty’s bedframe come from behind her she mutters a string of angry swear words under her breath. “What does she look like this time?” Is the sentence Sadie uses to make her presence known to the three drunk men in the kitchen.

The boys all look up at her with grimaces on their faces which makes Sadie run a hand down her own, she knows they all want to say “You.” Which makes her reconsider her entire career. She is subjecting herself to something comparable to torture day in, day out. Ever since Sadie had started point blank refusing him sex he was acting crazy, actively seeking out girls who have something in common with her looks wise. She had only started closing herself off because the band was starting to gain traction and she didn’t want anything to end in a messy enough manner for them both to risk their careers. It seemed like a lost cause with the way they were both acting though.

“It’s okay though, we’re having a pizza party.” Ross had somehow manoeuvred from the floor to Sadie’s side, leaning his entire body weight on her. She grunted and moved so the pair of them were leaning on the counter, she looked in his eyes at his extremely slurred words and wondered how he could be this drunk after only being out for two and a half hours. She shook her head with a smirk and snatched the pizza from George, forgetting how much of his weight that Ross was putting on her until he keeled over onto the floor with a giggle.

“Oh my god, Ross.” George pretty much collapses on top of Ross in a fit of drunken giggles and Sadie busies herself with setting the timer on the oven. When she turns around, Adam is stood with his arms open, and she smiles up at him and accepts his invitation for a cuddle. He starts swaying the pair and she can’t help but breathe out a laugh at the song he’s attempting to sing, Sadie has no idea what song he’s actually trying to sing. She tries to pull away when he starts swaying a bit too hard but before she knows it the four of them are on the floor struggling to breathe through their laughs.

When they all sit down on the couch to indulge in their pizza, Sadie hears a door open and close from the hallway. She can’t help the way her eyes roll into her skull, and she suddenly doesn’t want to finish her plate. The way he gets a glass of water, silently, pisses her off beyond belief. He grabs a slice of their pizza and heads back to his room with the water, he notices the silence when he walks in, but he chooses to not make a petty comment. When his bedroom door practically slams shut, Sadie lets out a breath she didn’t know she was even holding in. “George, can I sleep in your room?” He nods with a mouthful of pizza and Sadie heads to her room to grab her water bottle.

Sadie can’t sleep for George’s excessive snoring, he always fucking snores when he’s drunk. She gets up to fill her already empty water bottle with a sigh, a chill comes over her body when she opens the bedroom door, she immediately connects the dots when she sees Matty hanging out the living room window, cig in hand. She sighs and turns her back on him, flipping the tap to cold and turning it on, she hears him clearing his throat behind her and has to stifle the groan trying to escape her lips. “Bored of your girlfriend in there?”

Matty’s chuckle tastes bitter on his tongue, he despises her immaturity sometimes. When he doesn’t reply, she turns to him and when he gestures her over with his head she sighs, she can’t say no to him, and she loathes it. Sitting down next to him she takes his offer of a cigarette, he also forces the glass of wine he’s cradling into her hand, which she happily downs. He looks at her, she looks out the window. “Can’t sleep?”

“George won’t stop fucking snoring.” Matty smiles at that and hands her his lighter. She hands it back and inhales deeply when her cigarette is lit. The silence between them is the calmest silence they’ve sat in for at least three months, anytime the two have been forced in a room alone the tension has been so palpable you could cut it with a knife. Probably due to the fact they’ve not had sex in three months either. She can’t help but study his face, she hasn’t properly taken him in for a while, she tends to avoid him whenever they aren’t shouting at each other’s faces. He looks exhausted, the way his eyes are heavy set into his face and his mouth is nearly permanently in a frown are the telltale signs, this makes her frown. She leans onto his shoulder and lowers her voice to a whisper, “I’m sorry.”

“What? What for?” She shrugs and he wraps an arm around her shoulders, an attempt to protect her from the cold breeze wafting in through the open window. Hesitating slightly, he leans his head against hers, his lips meeting her messy hair before he does so. She sighs and shuffles a bit closer, having sat at a decent distance from him originally. “Nothing to be sorry for, Sades. I’m sorry.”

“Well, what are you sorry for?”

“I’m not sure either.” At his lack of attempt to actually apologise, she hums, nothing has changed. This conversation isn’t progress.

“I should go back to bed.” Sadie feels Matty’s head shake on top of hers and she snickers slightly, raising her head to face him. Their faces are much closer than they were before which makes Sadie’s heart pick up in pace ever so slightly. She pretends that it doesn’t though. He tries to sneak a glance down at her slightly dry lips, but her eager eyes notice, and she instinctively leans in, she swears she does it without realising. Before she knows it his lips are on hers and every argument they’ve had recently has flown out of her head, replaced by the way his hand feels when it falls to her bare thigh, practically coaxing the goosebumps out of her. Matty pulls away first and Sadie shakes her head. “We can’t. Shouldn’t.”

Silencing her with another kiss, a squeeze on her thigh, and his tongue against her lips, Matty groans into her mouth, begging to be let in. She denies him entrance until his other hand tugs lightly at her hair, drawing involuntary moans from her mouth, gaining him entrance. Readjusting so he’s no longer sitting cross legged on the windowsill Matty drags Sadie by the hips on to his lap. She feels so dirty, Matty had gone from being inside the girl in his bedroom two hours ago to making out with Sadie in the living room, but a sick part of her likes knowing that he’ll always come back to her. The same sick part of her grinds down into Matty’s growing erection, revelling in the way his head thumps against the window behind him. “Fuck, Sades.”

“Did that girl not do it for you? She might look like me, but I bet she doesn’t fuck like me, hmm?” Her hands find the seam of her pyjama top, but she quickly feels him swatting her hands away, wanting to take her top off himself. Doing so with fervour, his lips ghosting her nipples, blowing hot air over them and giving her reaction a sick smile. When his mouth closes around her nipple, a low groan ripples through her throat, she feels the need to get his clothes off of him as soon as possible. “Matty, please.”

“You’re filth. Desperate to fuck me when I’ve got a girl waiting for me.” Matty’s words hit Sadie right in her core, writhing on his lap, desperate for friction. The thin material of Matty’s boxers paired with the lacey material of Sadie’s panties was sending her wild, the feeling against her heat is delicious but she’s growing bored of it. He lifts his hips in a frenzy to rid himself of one of two clothing items keeping them apart, at the rapid friction Sadie moans loudly and squeezes her eyes closed. Letting out a dry laugh, Matty shifts her on his lap, her eyes cast down to his length and her hand automatically wrapped around it, like it was muscle memory. “No, need to be inside you. Won’t last long.”

Sadie feels like her lungs are being squeezed with how breathless she is, frantically shuffling her panties down her legs. Takes himself in one hand, Matty lines himself up and grabs one of Sadie’s hands with the other, she squeezes it as he pushes into her, a whine scraping the inside of her throat before tearing out of her mouth. Matty lets go of her hand and sticks two of his fingers into her open mouth, hissing at her, “You’ve got to be quiet, Sades.”

Whining around his fingers, Sadie bucks her hips into his harshly, Matty lets out a sound akin to a growl. She stops and raises an eyebrow at him, brutally shoving two fingers in his mouth. Feeling his mouth forming into a smirk around her fingers at her smug face, he starts fucking up into her to break her mean demeanour. The way her eyes roll into her head spurs him on, his pace relentless, his tongue licking up and down her fingers to match the pace of his savage thrusts. An urge to hear the noises that Matty clearly wants to make takes over Sadie’s brain, so she rips her fingers out of his mouth and sticks it on his knee behind her, leaning back in his lap to feel him hit her deeper inside. “Can fucking feel you squeezing me, so tight, missed this.”

The fake pout takes over her face without her permission, “Really meant it when you said you wouldn’t last long. Pathetic, I’m not even close.” She’s playing it up and he knows it from the way she tenses her thighs and squeezes his knee until her knuckles turn white. But Matty takes her words as the truth, holding himself off from finishing inside her, picking her up and throwing her onto the couch. Moaning at the way he man-handled her, Sadie can feel the loss of him inside her like he’d just ripped her arm from her torso, her blissed out face was quickly replaced by a glare at the two fingers re-entering her mouth, scowling as his hips snapped back into hers. When he leans down to give her neck an open-mouthed kiss, she snaps around his fingers, into his ear. “Fuck you.”

“I am.” The words uttered into her pliable skin make her arch her back into him. She hates the way he knows her body like he worships upon it everyday on the hour, almost as though he had studied her every atom under a microscope in a lab. Lifting one of her legs over his shoulder, she whimpers at the deeper angle, her walls flutter around him and she can feel the stutter of his hips. “Your filthy cunt is fucking sucking me in. You’re like some kind of witch. Come on, give it to me, Sades, fucking hell.” Staring down at the way a string of saliva connects her mouth to his fingers when he pulls them out at a tantalisingly slow pace gives him an idea. “Open your mouth.”

The compliant side of her does so immediately, moaning at the way his spit crawls down her tongue, he nods, she swallows. The wetness of his fingers immediately reaches between her folds and finds her clit, matching the pace of his persistent thrusts. Her left hand scrapes his spine and her right hand rips at his hair. She loathes the way his hands make her fold, feeling her climax take over her entire soul, her eyes squeezing shut at the feeling. “I fucking hate you so much.”

The tone in which she utters this word has him spilling inside her with a pained groan. The pair hold each other tightly as they both hit their peak, Sadie comes down almost immediately from the way Matty rides out his high inside her, she hisses from the overstimulation. “Fucking hell.” His body collapses on top of hers and she whines at the scraping feeling she feels inside. “Pull out, please.” A muttering of a few more swear words from her mouth pulls him from the cloud he’s found himself on, ripping himself from her. The boy inside of him peers down at the sight of his release spilling from her, she groans and steadies herself at the thought of standing up and cleaning herself up.

“Stay here. I’ll be right back.” Her eyes fixate on the torn up skin of his back as he pulls his boxers back on and sneaks into the bathroom. When he emerges, he smirks at Sadie’s sleeping figure on the couch, her deep-set eyes gently fluttering as she gives in, her dark eyelashes resting upon the cheeks. The one word ringing in his mind, beautiful, is giving him a headache. He rubs at her bare thigh in a soft attempt to wake her up, between whispers of different variants of her name. “Just cleaning you up, darling.” She gently whines and rolls over.

“Why are you asleep on the couch?” George is hanging over her like a bad smell, looking down at her with a raised eyebrow, she groans and pushes his face away with a stretch. The sudden memories of the previous night climb into her brain and start to take over, sneaking a glance down, she smirks at the sight of the cushions propped up gently and her clothes on her body. The slight bliss that was beginning to take over her being is interrupted by an unrecognisable, shrill laugh at the kitchen island. George silently communicates at her to keep her mouth shut.

“Morning, Sades! Bacon roll?” At Matty’s chipper tone, George knows all he needs to know, cradling his forehead in his hand. She snorts and sits up, finally getting a look at the girl who was clearly not good enough for Matty. Sadie would describe the girl as ‘nice’, nothing more and nothing less. She looks nice. Matty doesn’t like nice. The other two boys are sat at the kitchen island too, stuffing bacon in their mouths like it’s going to make their hangovers magically disappear. Sadie circles round the couch to stand behind Ross, giving Matty a curt nod before sitting on the last spare seat, right next to this unknown girl.

“I’m Sadie. Who are you?” Adam covers his laugh with a cough, George groans into his hand, Ross is blissfully unaware, and Matty has to stop himself from whipping around to shout at the girl. The poor, innocent girl looks round at Sadie like she’d just shot her dog. A shit eating grin overtakes her mouth, smiling up at Matty as he places a bacon roll in front of her. “Thank you very much! Smells so good!” The tone of her voice makes Adam’s laugh finally escape his mouth, when Miss Unknown turns to him, brows furrowed, he panics.

“Oh, we have fun here.” Sadie opts for taking a bite so none of her laughter sneaks out. What a shit excuse, Adam.

“I’m Daisy, it’s, erm, nice to meet you?” No words. Sadie has no words. Daisy is basically Sadie rearranged. She politely nods at Daisy and turns to face forward in her seat, no longer wanting to interact with anyone. She feels a dull ache in her chest as she watches the way Matty talks to Daisy, a miniscule part of her brain is begging him to look at her. He doesn’t, instead turning back to the pan and humming a merry tune. Sadie is practically snarling at his back, knowing that her very nails have left marks on the hidden skin. That’s all it is. Hidden. Matty clearly has a sudden thought with the way his movements stop.

“Want any sauce, darling?” Sadie doesn’t know what happened, she’ll claim to have blacked out.

“No thanks, Matty.” Her eyes widen. Daisy nearly chokes on her breakfast, poor girl. As if on auto-pilot, Sadie’s feet drag her to her bedroom, completely abandoning her breakfast. She’s sure they all heard the scream she forced into her pillow.

The moon is the only thing lighting up Sadie’s room, the hopeful gleam staring right in her window. The Smashing Pumpkins ‘Oceania’ is humming into her ears as she edits a few photos from the night before, specifically avoiding the ones of Matty. A gentle knock on her door rips her from her daydream, pulling her eyes from the moon she murmurs a “Come in.”, shutting her laptop and turning round in her chair. But the sight of the man she’s avoiding draws a silent groan from her throat, she turns away.

“Hi. Can we talk?” He’s grovelling and she doesn’t know why. When met with silence he keeps talking. “We can’t keep dancing around this, it’s starting to hurt me. I can’t fucking look at you without wanting something from you, anything. I just want a sign of life, Sades.” She stares back out the window, wishing she lived in a house alone on the moon. But no, she’s here, face to face with everything wrong with her. All she knows how to do is shake her head.

“I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t have anything to say to you.” The way he takes a deep breath as he sits down on her bed makes her panic a bit, she knows that he’s about to hurt her feelings. It was just the honest truth, she didn’t have anything to say to him, what words could possibly come out of her mouth that he’d want to hear. Not a single thought in her head is something that should be said out loud to him.

“No, Sadie. What do you want from me? I am fucking sick of you, the sight of you, the way you’ll speak to the boys with no fucking malice in your tone, what did I do to you? And, what? Every two months you want me to fuck you and have it not mean anything? I can’t stand to be in your fucking presence everyday anymore, it’s draining me.” She zones out slightly, trying to will the lump in her throat to go away. Nothing that he had said warrants tears because he is also telling the honest truth.

“We’ve ruined it. Been friends eight years and fucking ruined it.” Shaking her head with a wet laugh she lets it fall to rest on her knee, a single tear slipping out. “Can’t believe there was a time we got on. Now you’re just horrible to me.” Bitter laughter takes over her ears and another tear falls. And another. Lifting her head she writes down the words, ‘wishing you could forget the present you’re living in’, in the notebook on her desk. The notebook is just full of shit, mostly angry shit, recently.

“You’re the horrible one. One day someone snapped their fingers and you turned on me. I can’t fuck around with you anymore, you’ve changed, and it makes me sick. To my stomach. And calling me horrible? Whatever.”

“You’re still talking if you weren’t aware.”

“Yes I was. Wasn’t done either.” Standing up and gesturing wildly, his bitter tongue still talks. She’s reduced to a pile of sobs on her desk chair, just watching, unable to make it stop. “I also find it quite frankly hilarious that you’re the first one to tell people that I’m the ‘worst person you’ve ever met’, it wasn’t that when we were shagging everyday four years ago.” Sadie sniffs a laugh at this, he’s contradicting himself by saying ‘she’s changed’ one second, then referencing a time Sadie actually liked him. “Oh! Another thing, telling George that I’m the only one you don’t say ‘I love you’ to is so strange. I’d like an explanation.” Walking over to her until he’s hanging over her, she has to look up and face his snarl. “Why? Why don’t you love me. I think you do and you’re just fucking scared of me, pathetic, by the way. I think you realised years-”

She interrupts him, unable to control the angry scream ripping from the depths of her lungs. “Stop! Just fucking stop! Get the fuck away from me.” He stills and cocks an eyebrow. “GO.”

A slam of a door and tears coming out in screams is all that’s heard through the flat.

The next time Matty’s on stage doing what he loves, he isn’t sure he actually loves it anymore. He’s considering hiring a new photographer. Sadie’s been dancing round his feet all night, apparently unable to take a single photo of Matty, she’s taken more photos of Adam tonight than she probably ever has. The way in which he is performing is growing slightly more aggressive, standing on the stage, seething, unable to do anything about it. Could you imagine what the crowd would think if he started shouting at his photographer mid-show?

She smirks as she comes round the back to take a couple photos of George, he shakes his head at her, and she lets out a laugh. Shrugging her shoulders as if she’s done nothing wrong, she quickly realises that coming onto the stage to take photos was a mistake, Matty turns his back on the crowd briefly and whispers in her ear, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“What? Nothing? My job.” Turning back to the crowd with a scoff he keeps singing, Sadie takes a couple photos of the view from the back of the stage, looking out into the mass of people, she smiles at her camera knowing it’ll be a good shot. Exiting the stage from the left hand side she takes a minute to look through a couple of the photos she’s taken as she sips from her water bottle. The events manager approaches her and smiles.

“Why aren’t you taking as many photos of Matty?” The way her sickly sweet voice punctures Sadie’s ears makes her cringe a little bit. But she hides it with a returned smile in her direction and turns her body slightly towards her. Taking in her professional outfit she hides a laugh, how she’s not sweating is one of the wonders of the world. The way she was very clearly flirting with Matty before the show had pissed her off and Sadie knew she was only asking because she wanted to see photos of Matty.

“Don’t worry about it.” Walking all the way to the back of the hall with no more words said, Sadie scoffs when she’s no longer in hearing distance. Shaking her head she snaps a few more pictures before heading back to the dressing rooms, hearing the band finish the show she busies herself with looking through photos. She likes to pretend she doesn’t exist after the boys finish a show, they also like to pretend she doesn’t exist, mostly high on adrenaline. Since people had started taking the band more seriously, the energy at their shows has increased tenfold. So has their egos but Sadie never makes comment on it. Hearing the stomps of Matty down the halls has her realising that pretending she doesn’t exist isn’t an option today.

“What the fuck was that? You’re embarrassing yourself.” Slamming the door behind him, leaving just the two of them in the dressing room, Sadie rolls her eyes. She watches on as he grabs a wine glass and pours from the bottle, he takes a sip and groans, shaking his head. When their eyes meet, Sadie curls into herself a bit, intimidated. “Just utterly pathetic.”

“What’s pathetic? Me not wanting to see your face? Did you forget the things you said to me? Or are you going to blame that as a ‘heat of the moment’ thing like you always do?” The slam of his glass on the table makes her jump and he turns to her with nothing but malice in his eyes.

“No, you should be able to hold a level of professionalism that allows you to do your job no matter how you actually feel, Sadie. You’ve always managed to photograph me even if I have been in the wrong, but not today. I’m calling you pathetic because I thought you were more mature than you actually are. Turns out I was fucking wrong, hmm?” Matty is leaning over her, pointing a finger down at her. She stands up to defend herself.

“Actually, I think that you speak to me like I’m a piece of shit on the bottom of your shoe and then expect me to carry myself professionally when in reality just the sight of your face makes me want to punch it. And oh, I’ll just carry on taking my silly little pictures and pretend you don’t come off that stage and hurt my feelings. Every. Single. Day.”

“Oh, I hurt your feelings? Fuck off, Sadie.” With this he leaves the dressing room and slams the door behind him so hard that Sadie sees the mirror on the wall shake a bit. She has to hold her laugh in when he comes back in for the bottle of wine. She really struggles to hold it back when George comes in and gives her a look like she’s dumb.

“What?” When George just laughs at her she laughs too. She grabs the second bottle of wine from the table and takes pleasure in drinking straight from it. “Genuinely what was I supposed to do? Let him keep treating me like this?” George leans onto her shoulder when he sits down, his voice is sympathetic, and Sadie is having none of it.

“You could’ve gone about it a bit nicer.”

“Why would I be ‘a bit nicer’ after all he’s done to me?”

“Yeah, you’re right, fuck him.” With that George takes the bottle and starts drinking from it too.

They’ve somehow ended up in a sleazy bar in Soho, they’d played just round the corner at some hall Sadie can’t remember to name. Matty’s still pissed, Sadie is very drunk, some would call this a recipe for disaster, George would call this a recipe for entertainment. Sadie has linked eyes with a notably cute guy a couple of times this evening, but she’s waiting for him to be the gentleman and make the first move to speak. As Adam stands up to get the next round she hears laughter from behind her and sees Matty flirting with some girl. She turns to Adam, “Get me a vodka shot, too.”

Adam really shouldn’t be encouraging her to drink anything that strong, but after clocking on to what Matty was doing he immediately adds it to the list of drinks he’s ordering. When it slides in front of her it’s down her throat practically before it’s even stopped sliding her direction. Ross grips her arm and laughs but she pays no mind to him, distracted by the bitter taste in her mouth, she’d be convinced the bitter taste wasn’t coming from the liquor. Eyeing the way Matty’s arm slings around the girl and his shoulders look slightly less tense she turns to search the crowd of people, looking for the guy who was eye-fucking her earlier. She leaps out the barstool when she sees him, throwing everything about wishing he was gentlemanly out the window. “Hi, I’m Sadie.”

“Theo, nice to meet you. I was gonna come over in a bit but here you are, like a dream in front of me.” Sadie laughs probably louder than she should’ve at this, hand coming down on his arm. At this Theo notices the lack of drink in her hand and rests a hand on her lower back, “Shall we go get you something to drink? On me, of course.” She lets him lead her back to all her friends, narrowly avoiding them as he leans over the bar to order her an espresso martini. She does not like espresso martinis.

“Thank you. I noticed your accent, Australian, right? What are you doing in England?” The small talk flows quite freely between the two as they exchange careers and anecdotes, Sadie finds it easy to talk to him. Not as easy as any of her actual friends but it’s good enough. She has to hold her breath anytime she takes a drink but they’re free, so she isn’t saying anything. Matty catches her eye for the first time since being distracted by the girl on his lap, when he catches a glimpse of the blonde boy standing next to her he shakes his head. She scowls at him and turns back to the boy, a bit closer than she was before.

“Do you wanna get out of here? Maybe back to my hotel?” Sadie doesn’t really hear him, she sees Matty shaking her head at something the girl is saying and when she starts shouting at him Sadie knows he’d just been asked the same question she has. Matty makes fleeting eye contact with her, making a look that reads ‘I dare you’. Turning back to Theo she nods her head, smiling up at the smug look on his face, shoving his arm slightly. She finishes her drink with a slight gag and grips onto his arm as he leads her out the front.

“How far is your hotel?” She’d love to know why she feels guilty.

Sadie’s sitting on the doorstep to their flat building with mascara staining her cheeks. When she’d gotten back to Theo’s hotel she experienced something akin to a panic attack and basically ran out of there, he’d chased her just to make sure she was okay and when all she said was, “It isn’t your fault,” he knew that it was the other guy from the bar holding her back, the one from her friend group, “I just have to get back to my flat.”

Feeling nothing less than mortified, she couldn’t bring herself to go in, so she was sitting smoking on the doorstep with the entire evening playing on a loop in her head. Dropping her head to her knees with a sigh she let one more tear fall before putting out her cig with her shoe and opening the door behind her. When she opens the door to the flat she’s met with silence, unsure if anyone’s home until she hears George snoring and a strum of a guitar in the room next to hers. Upon realising he’s the only other person awake she admits defeat and heads to her own room.

After brushing her teeth in the bathroom and grabbing water and some painkillers from the kitchen, she opens her bedroom door to Matty standing, staring down at her. Shutting the door behind her she looks up at him with a fixed glare, silently wishing he’d brush past her and shut the door so she could sleep. But no, as she shuts the door behind her she finds herself slammed against it. “You’re so fucking pathetic, Sades.” It might be the slight buzz she still feels in her head, but his words paired with his hands on her hips hit her right in her core, feeling like her head is about to float right off her shoulders.

“Matty, you’re just here to fuck with my head.” She really tried to make her words believable but the way she trails off into a whine makes it seem quite the opposite. The way in which her body always reacts to him the way he wants will forever make her angry, staring up at him trying to keep her glare steady on her face. It proves hard when Matty’s face moves down to her neck, attacking it with his lips, practically taunting her by the way he leans back up to swallow the moan that leaves her mouth.

She fights her body, trying her hardest to not kiss him back, but the way his tongue is licking into her mouth makes her desperate for anything he’ll give her. “Think you can just go fuck anyone, hmm? You’re wrong, angel. Belong to me, don’t you?” The scowl that takes over her features makes him smirk down at her. “Pretty when you’re angry. Gonna let me show you who you belong to?” She doesn’t want to nod but of course her body is doing things without her brains consent. To be fair said brain is actively turning to mush and melting out of her ears.

“Matty, please. Hurting my head.” After a quick glance up from her neck, he realises she doesn’t mean that literally, but instead she means that his actions are confusing her. He’s too in the moment to care, dragging her to the bed to put her out of her misery. The feeling of the mattress on her back makes her sigh in pleasure, he smirks down at her, working his hands under her, way too big, jumper as he hovers over her, moving down at a teasingly slow pace. She writhes on the bed until his hands take a strong grip of her hips, dragging them to the bottom of the bed before holding her in place as he kisses from her knee to her thigh. “Fuck, why do you always come crawling back to me? Just told me you can’t fuck me anymore.”

“I can’t get enough.” Letting go of her hips to move her panties down her thighs, her hands whip to his hair as she feels a puff of cold air blown onto her clit, her heart stopping in her chest at the feeling. He growls into her dripping cunt, licking a stripe up it before feeling her thighs squeeze his face, moving his hands round them to keep them apart. “Be good. Keep quiet. Maybe I’ll let you cum.” The whine that leaves her mouth is involuntarily and goes against what he’d just said, she knows she’s fucking in for it now.

Lowering her voice to a whisper she leans up onto her elbows, “Matty, do something.” Brown eyes looking into her blue ones with a teasing glint he gives her another kitten lick and her elbows give out on her, back arching from the mattress. The teasing pace of his tongue is making the whole ‘keep quiet’ thing impossible for Sadie, her entire fist is in her mouth at this point and her brain is wondering where on earth he learned how to do this. Sure, he’s eaten her out many times before, but this is her first time realising how good at it he’d gotten. “Please, stop teasing.”

Humming into her wetness, he ponders on whether he should give her more or not. Does she deserve it? “Me stop teasing you? Oh, angel. Take your own advice.” Something about the way she whimpers spurs him on to, in fact, stop teasing. Giving in to her immediately, his tongue finds her clit and picks up the pace by the most miniscule amount. Unwrapping one of his hands from her thigh, his fingers find her entrance, ever teasing, but finding their way in after she hisses down at him to stop.

When he parts for a breather Sadie can see her slick on his chin and the sight brings out something carnal in her. She grabs his chin and pulls him up to her level, smashing their lips together as if they’re running out of time. Pulling away from her, Matty looks down at her, jaw slightly slack. “Like tasting yourself? What do you want, angel? Speak to me.” His digits still slipping deeper into her makes it incredibly difficult for her to formulate words, after whining at him and being met with a cocked eyebrow, she manages.

“Want you.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Just fuck me, Matty.” He doesn’t relent. Hands speeding up, kisses draped across her neck, his other hand finding it’s way up her jumper, squeezing her tits. Determined to pull at least one orgasm from her before giving in to what she wants. He groans into her neck when he feels how tight she’s squeezing his two fingers. “I’m gonna cum.”

“Let go then, angel. Give it to me, all over my fingers, gonna make a mess?” Frantically nodding, she feels her brain fading away into nothingness before his lips wrap around hers. Laying still, not kissing back, her orgasm takes over her being, Matty practically chews her moans with his teeth as if they were tangible. With a whine she rips his hand from between her thighs and finally gives in to the feeling of his lips on hers, kissing back with fervour. He pulls away to glance at his fingers, smothered in her arousal, the sight alone would’ve made him hard if he wasn’t already. Opening her mouth without having to be told to, she takes his two fingers into her mouth, sucking tiredly at them. “You tired?” Taking his hand out of her mouth to hear her reply, he smiles down at her blown out pupils.

“Fuck me, please.” Sometimes she can’t help but make the same mistakes.

Sadie had woken up hours ago. Some sick part of her is forcing her to stay in bed, under his arms, in his t-shirt. There’s an air of domesticity surrounding the pair, the way his dark eyelashes flutter slightly in his sleep has Sadie enamoured. Silently wishing things could be easier, with a sigh. Her brain starts to ponder on where things went wrong, and who might’ve been at fault, when she didn’t like the conclusion she came to she shut her eyes. Matty must’ve felt the way her body shook slightly, waking up slowly with a long stretch. “What you crying for?”

“I don’t know.” He squeezes his arms slightly tighter around her and wipes a tear from her cheek, unable to stop the concerned expression from taking over his features. Rubbing a soothing hand down her back, he shushes her until she’s calm, looking down at her slightly with an encouraging glint in his eye. “I just feel shit about the point we’ve gotten to. Wish we were 16 again.”

“Angel, don’t feel shit. I’ve been a dick to you recently and I’m sorry, I just don’t know how to speak to you anymore.” Sadie nods against his arm at his words, the soft smile taking over his face makes her feel at home. He looks like he’s 18 again in the mornings. It makes Sadie feel a bit sick.

“I don’t know how to speak to you either. We’ve spent everyday together for as long as I can remember, but it’s like you changed without me realising.” Matty hanging off of every word she says enhances the sick feeling in her stomach and she looks away from him. Grabbing her water from the bedside table she cradles her headache with her other hand and hears Matty laughing at her from behind. Putting her water back down she hits his chest and stands up. “I can’t have this conversation with you. I think I need to fucking find my own place. Then Ross and Adam can actually have their own rooms instead of being forced to share. Think it would be best for everyone.” Being met with a head of curls frantically shaking, she sighs.

“You can’t.”

“I will. Watch me.”

#dont ask why it took me so long to write this #sadie can do no wrong btw #matty healy #matty healy fic #matty healy x reader #matty healy imagine #matty healy smut #cigs&wine #the 1975 #the 1975 fanfic #writing #george daniel #ross macdonald

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frozenlight-gvf · 8 months

Text

Strawberry Wine: Part Two

pairing: barn au: danny × fem!reader (enemies to lovers)

summary: after your first rendezvous with Daniel, tensions are high. he still gets under your skin like no one else can, but there’s something else there now— something that you refuse to let yourself feel.

(here's part one if you haven't read it already!)

word count: 4.8k

warnings: (for this part): language, dirty talk, explicit sexual content, angst (18+ MINORS DNI) [i chose not to include all the warnings to avoid spoilers, reader discretion is advised!]

a/n: new moodboard new moodboard! anyway this part was super fun to write hope u enjoy <3

***

The wind whipped through your hair as you urged Guinevere to a breakneck gallop across the field. You thought maybe the speed and the endless green vastness would wipe Daniel from your mind for at least a moment or two, but a voice like alarm bells blared relentlessly in your head: What the hell happened last night?

As the sun broke the line of the horizon, beginning its journey across the sky, you breathed in the crisp misty air of the dawn. The heat hadn’t yet gotten a chance to burn, so you savored the slight chill. You let Guinevere slow, as she had begun to pant and snort, and unwelcome thoughts seeped back into your mind. You thought of how willingly you fell under Daniel’s control, responding to his every whim. You thought of his warm breath against your ear. You thought of his hands, how they petted you… how his fingers curled and caressed…

You shook your head, the images dissolving. Guinevere was still plodding along under you. You leaned forward to pat her neck, trying to bring yourself back to the moment. Now, the only thing in your head was your mother, as you heard her voice ringing out across the field, calling you back to her.

You reentered your house – which you had so suddenly departed from just an hour ago with your riding helmet in hand and racing heart in your chest, still warm from just having thrown off your sheets in restless frustration – and you wiped your boots on the doormat under the scrutinizing eye of Susannah, who was making sure you didn’t track mud in her house.

“What’s up with you?” she asked in her accent stronger than your own. “You’re shaking like a leaf, honey.”

You hadn’t even realized it. “Adrenaline, I guess,” you mumbled.

She shrugged as she fussed around in the kitchen, making breakfast. You sat down obediently at the table, knowing after many years of trying that she would never accept your help when she was cooking.

“How’s things with Danny?” she asked, cutting strawberries into an old ceramic bowl painted with watercolors; a product of a childhood craft gone slightly awry, but too sentimental for your mother not to keep.

You scoffed, a bit put-off that she sounded like she was inquiring after a relationship. “Same as always.” You hoped the slight tremor in your voice didn’t give away the fact that things had, in fact, changed. Dramatically.

“You’re so mean to that poor boy,” she sighed, shaking her head. “Would it kill you to be nice to him?”

“He’s not nice to me, mama. And you know how I am with boys.”

“I know, I know. My little dragon,” she said affectionately. She cupped your cheek for a moment as she placed a plate of bacon on the table. “But I want you to at least try.”

You banished your mother’s old-fashioned ways; she thought the princess was always supposed to be saved by someone else, namely a man. She’d nicknamed you her “dragon” when you were little; you always pointed and squealed at the pictures of the dragons in the storybooks she read to you– the ones that destroyed kingdoms on fiery rampages, the ones that threatened the lives of well-meaning princes. You were always more the type to curl up in a cave somewhere rather than drape yourself out the window of a tall tower, calling for someone to rescue you.

But, you couldn’t fight that little voice inside you, the one that was begging for someone to take care of you, to hold you and kiss your lonely tears away. You rested your chin in your hand as you pushed your eggs around on your plate, your mother sitting across from you.

“I’m not gonna force you into anything, hun,” Susannah said, taking a sip of her sweet-smelling coffee. “But, darlin’, it would settle my heart to know that there’s someone else in your life who would make you breakfast in the morning.”

Susannah meant well, and you knew it. Like all mothers with lonely daughters, she wanted to see you cared for and cherished. She’d tried to hire barn hands you might get along with, and a part of you felt bad for how poorly you always treated them. But it was your way. Isolation is an art, and you had practically perfected it.

After breakfast, you milled about the barn, so far its only human inhabitant. The sun was now steadily rising, no longer shy about its light and broiling heat. You were anxious for Daniel to arrive so you could assess what happened between you. If he didn’t look in your direction, it was safe to assume he was feeling the way you were, which was conflicted. If he flashed you his usual teasing grin and tipped his hat, it would mean that, to him, nothing had changed. And you weren’t sure which option you preferred.

As you surveyed the tack room, making sure every saddle and every bridle was in its assigned space, you heard familiar footsteps from behind you.

“Do you really not trust me to put everything back where it belongs?”

You whirled around to see Daniel leaning against the doorframe a couple yards in front of you. For a moment, there were no words exchanged between you two. In his eyes, you could see flashes of last night’s passion. You tensed up every muscle in your body, bracing for whatever impact that was about to come.

You pointed over to the wall covered in tangled leather straps. “Ziggy’s bridle is where Tim’s should be.”

Daniel’s eyes widened imperceptibly as he noticed his mistake, and you felt a small swell of pride within you for having shaken him. But his signature roguish smirk soon spread across his face as he pushed off from the doorframe with his shoulder, uncrossing his ankles.

“My bad, heiress.”

He sauntered past you to switch the bridles, brushing close to your side. It almost felt like a static spark passed between the two of you, and you sucked in a breath. He turned back to you, his body now closer to yours than what would be considered “friendly.”

“However may I earn your forgiveness?”

You looked up at him, your breath catching. His curls were slightly damp, and he smelled of crisp pine and lemon. It was so rare for you to see him like this; usually when he was in your line of sight, he was flushed and sweating from heat and hard labor. But right now, he was almost glowing, fresh from a morning shower. Your mind wandered to imagine how he might look with nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist with his chest damp and glistening, his wet curls draped over his broad shoulders–

“Something on your mind, sweetheart?”

“No,” you said quickly, shaking your head sharply and swallowing hard. Daniel’s smile only grew.

“Oh, no? Because you seem a little… bothered.” He leaned in to whisper the last word, and his closeness and his clean scent made you want to fall into him. But you stood your ground.

You tilted your head towards the rack of bridles. “I’m only bothered because you can’t do your job right.”

He chuckled. “Is that so? Well…. I seemed to do my job pretty well last night, didn’t I?”

You bristled slightly at such a direct mention of your rendezvous. You figured you two would beat around the bush for a little while longer, but it seemed like he couldn’t wait to make you squirm again.

“That’s what you were thinking about, wasn’t it?” he said, leaning over you slightly.

Eager to prove him wrong, you straightened your spine and stared at him. “No. It was something else.”

“Alright. Whatever you say, heiress.”

You thought that with that, Daniel would leave and start on his morning chores, but he remained exactly where he was– too close for comfort.

“You have chores to do, Wagner.”

He tilted his head with a crooked smile.

“That I do, ma’am.”

Still, he made no move to leave the tackroom. You were starting to feel that anger he so loved to stir up in you.

“Then go do them!”

He flashed his eyebrows.

“I’m about to.”

And still– he stayed. You raised your voice to shout at him, but he reached one of his hands out and pulled you into him by your waist, planting a kiss on your lips.

You wrestled away from him, the blush on your face betraying how much you enjoyed that.

“What are you doing?” you spat.

He smiled and crossed his arms. You had to tear your eyes away from the defined curves and edges of his muscles. “Do you not remember what I said last night?”

“You said a lot of things last night, Wagner,” you mumbled, straightening your shirt and turning away.

He leaned in once more to whisper in your ear, his breath fanning against your hair. You could feel your blush spreading, making your ears burn pink.

“I said, I was gonna put taking care of that needy little cunt of yours on my list of chores.”

Your lips parted slightly as a breath escaped them. He noticed. He pressed up behind you and started rubbing both of your arms up and down slowly.

He hummed a contented noise. “You like that? Does that sound like a good way to start our morning?”

Our morning.

He pressed a soft kiss to your ear, his lips then sensually traveling down to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses.

“Want me to take care of you, sweetheart?”

He was tearing down your walls brick by brick, stone by stone, but you didn’t want to let him make ruins out of you.

Your voice was breathy as you protested, not having much power behind your insistence. “Daniel, my students are gonna be here soon…”

“Darlin’,” he said, interrupting you, still kissing down your neck, “it’s barely nine in the morning. Your first class won’t be here until ten.” He switched to the other side of your neck and paused for a moment before speaking again. “It’s just you and me.”

“My mom–”

“--isn’t here right now.”

“But she might come here later…”

You felt his lips curl into a smile against your neck. He gave you a little nip right under your ear. “Then, I guess you better be quiet, then, huh? Think you can be quiet for me, sweetheart?”

His hands moved from your arms to your hips, caressing up and down your curves.

“Answer me, baby.”

“Yes.”

His touch started to get bolder as his hands traveled inward, running up over your chest. Your eyes fluttered shut as he squeezed gently, massaging the tender flesh in his palms. His hands then slipped under the fabric of your shirt to feel you closer. His fingers teased along the top edge of your bra.

“I wanna see you in something prettier than this,” he mumbled in your ear, referring to the sturdy sports bra you were wearing.

“I will never spend money on lace, Wagner.”

“Then I will,” he said with casual certainty as he tugged on the hem of your shirt, bringing it up over your head. He then turned you around to face him, his eyes staring disapprovingly at your choice of undergarment. He clicked his tongue and shook his head.

“Pretty thing like you shouldn’t wear shit like this. Wanna see you in lace or nothing at all,” he mumbled again.

“Guess nothing at all will have to do for now,” you said, trying to keep the hopeful edge out of your voice.

He grinned as he reached forward to relieve you of your bra. His lips parted in an awestruck smile as soon as he saw you bare, his eyes sparkling.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” he rasped, skating his hands over your breasts, feeling your sensitive nipples hardening under his touch. Your hands started moving on their own as your fingers met with the metal of Daniel’s ornate silver belt buckle. You traced your fingertips over the minimal design at the center before you suddenly felt him take your hands and place them on his chest.

“Don’t touch the buckle, sweetheart,” he said quietly in your ear as he guided your fingers to the bottom of his tshirt, encouraging you to lift it off of him.

You’d seen his bare chest many times; he rarely ever wore a shirt while working outside. But you’d never seen him like this. You noticed details you’d previously glossed over– the freckles that dotted his perfectly tanned skin, the sensual curve of his waist, and the trail of coarse hair that stretched up from beneath his jeans. You were practically dumbstruck.

You weren’t exactly sure how or why you found yourself with your jeans undone infront of Daniel Wagner a second time, but there wasn’t much time to think about it before your pants were on the floor of the tackroom, and Daniel had your legs wrapped around his waist, pressing you into the wood-paneled wall.

He took your mouth again in a fiery kiss, but this time, you didn’t stop him. You let him consume you, his tongue exploring your mouth feverishly.

“Seems I’m getting pretty good at getting you to shut up,” Daniel said, speaking breathlessly between punishing kisses. You could feel how riled up he was, like a bronco about to break loose.

Not once breaking the kiss, he reached down with one hand to remove his belt, the dexterity with which he did so making you melt even more. The leather snapped against the denim as the accessory fell to the ground, including his apparently precious buckle.

“Not so worried about that thing now, are you?” You glanced at the piece of metal strewn on the floor.

Daniel growled into your mouth, pushing you harder into the wall, bringing your attention right back to him.

“The only part of you that’s allowed to touch my buckle is your pussy when you’re sitting on my lap. Are we clear on that?” He paused, taking your nod as an answer and continuing to kiss you passionately.

His hardness began teasing at your center, rubbing back and forth and collecting the arousal that was dripping from you. You shivered with desperation in his arms, his hands gripping and squeezing your ass.

“Oh, sweetheart…” he crooned, “you’re wetter than you were last night. Have you been thinking about me all morning? Is that why?”

You shook your head, but both of you knew you were lying.

“I bet you thought about me last night, too. Did you think about me in bed? Did you think about how good my fingers felt inside you and how badly you wanted to feel my cock?”

You couldn’t reply, as the tip of his cock had just barely nudged against you, and you already knew you were in for it. He felt big.

“I really hope you didn’t get your hands dirty in your bed last night,” he said, clucking his tongue patronizingly. “You know I’m the only one who can touch this pussy, right? It’s all mine, isn’t it, darlin’?”

You waited in heated anticipation to feel him buried inside you, but he didn’t move. His eyes burned into yours. He was waiting for an answer. And he wasn’t going to give you what you wanted until you gave him one. Until you submitted to him.

“It’s all yours, Danny.”

A voice.

“Danny?”

Both of you froze. Daniel’s fingers dug deeper into your ass, as if holding you tighter would make you somehow disappear.

“Where are you, hun? I need you to do something for me.”

You and Daniel looked at each other, eyes wide with terror. Susannah.

Her light footsteps were almost imperceptible, but you could tell you only had seconds to get out of the compromising position you were in. Daniel all but dropped you, rushing to get his shirt and belt back on, hissing urgent curses under his breath. You plucked your discarded clothes from the floor, racing to pull your bra and shirt back on and to tug your jeans over your hips and button them with shaking fingers.

When Susannah’s willowy silhouette appeared in the doorway, Daniel was reorganizing the saddle pads, and you were aimlessly fidgeting with the leather straps of the bridles lining the walls, silently kicking yourself for not having come up with something more convincing to be doing.

“There you are, darlin’. Can you take a look at Rebel’s stall door? It was creaking somethin’ terrible yesterday.”

“Of course, ma’am.”

Daniel gave a polite bow of his head to Susannah as he sauntered past her, hands in his back pockets and whistling a little tune— like he wasn’t just mere moments from being caught thrusting deep inside you. You were left trembling; partly with fear, but mostly from the visceral anticlimax of having to stop right before what might have been the greatest moment of your life.

Your mother turned to you, a hand on her hip. Her gentle, smile-lined face shifted to show a mild concern.

“You alright, sweetheart? You look awfully warm.”

Your blush only grew hotter. Your fingers let the reins you were inspecting too closely drop and gently swing against the wall.

“I’m fine, mama,” you said, grabbing a bucket full of grooming tools from the ground.

Susannah shrugged and turned to leave, ducking into the little room next door which classified as the barn’s office: a little area with an old hutch desk and an older computer.

Exhaling deeply, you shook your head, unable to believe you didn’t get busted. And you were also unable to believe how nonchalant Daniel was afterwards. His inhuman speed at getting dressed and his lightning-quick ability to become otherwise occupied so he didn’t come off as suspicious— like he had a habit of fucking girls where people might intrude. Like he had a habit of fucking girls, period. It made you realize that whatever you had going on with Daniel had lower stakes for him than it did for you. And it was maddening.

You stared off into space during the morning lessons you were teaching. Luckily, the riders were slightly older than your afternoon students and didn’t need eagle-eyed supervision. You stood in the center of the ring, occasionally calling out for your riders to change their horse’s gait. The warm-up probably lasted a bit too long, but there was hardly any room left in your mind for anything else when Daniel was occupying it— especially not teaching. The horses cantering in a circle around you almost made you dizzy.

”Miss Y/L/N?” a voice piped up. “Can we stop now?”

You turned to where the voice was coming from: a younger girl whose helmet almost seemed to swallow her whole head. You nodded, rubbing your temple.

“Walk,” you declared in a voice not as commanding as you would have liked, and the horses slowed around the ring. Originally, you were going to give the riders their first lesson in jumping, but you were in absolutely no state something as involved as that.

“How about a trail ride?”

The girls cheered, and you led the five-horse parade down from the ring to the barn so you could hop on a horse to guide the procession on the trail. You instructed your riders to wait as you headed into the stables and towards Guinevere’s stall. But it was empty. You huffed in frustration and marched into the office.

“Where’s Gwen?”

Susannah looked up at you from the boxy computer.“Danny took her out back to the pasture for a bath. Isn’t that sweet of him? Making sure your horse is all nice and clean for you,” your mother said with a wink.

You rolled your eyes. You knew Daniel wasn’t bathing Guinevere out of kindness. He would never do anything for you out of kindness. “I need her for a trail ride.“

“Trail ride? I thought y’all were jumping today. Do you need help getting the poles set up? I’ll go get Danny—“

“I don’t need him, mama!” you shouted suddenly, whirling around to face her. She startled a bit, her eyes fully focusing on you.

“Y/N—“ she scolded, her surprise hardening into consternation.

“I don’t need him.” Your voice softer as you repeated. You knew your mother heard you the first time, so the second time you made the declaration was mostly as a reminder for yourself. You took a breath, calming yourself. “It’s hot today. The horses are feeling lazy, and they won’t want to jump.”

Susannah shrugged, her shoulders now cold. Her gaze turned back to her computer, wordlessly dismissing you. Her silence tugged at your heart, but you couldn’t let it affect you.

With Guinevere preoccupied, Ares was the only horse left in the stable. He was off-limits for students. After bucking a rider off of his back and into a fence last spring, Susannah declared that Ares would never be used as a lesson horse again, only remaining in the barn for extremely advanced riders who refused any of the “easy” horses. And for Daniel, who somehow got the demon to bend to his will.

Although you’ve been riding your whole life, even you avoided Ares. He was sturdy and powerful, yet wildly skittish. Any sort of loud noise or quick movement would have him rearing and taking off running, endangering everyone on or around him. You stood there outside the horse’s stall, studying him for a moment. You wouldn’t have time to tack him up; the riders were waiting on you outside. The idea of having to ride him bareback on the trail— the place with the greatest potential for an unexpected spook— made your blood turn cold. As you opened Ares’ stall, you had the slight inclination to just forget the trail ride and get Daniel to help you set up the jumping poles in the lesson ring. But the more you considered it, the more vivid the image of his face in your mind became. You pictured the way he’d look down at you and smirk, teasing you for not being able to do anything by yourself, not being able to do anything without his help. Without him. He’d poke you and prod you, goading you for needing his assistance, for needing him. Needing him.

You met your riders in front of the barn atop the black horse with a less-than-confident smirk on your face. With no reins, saddle, or stirrups to hold onto, you felt truly vulnerable on Ares’ back. Ares’s energy felt potent and volatile as he shifted under you; it almost felt like he was just waiting to catch you with your guard down and buck you off into the dirt. You just hoped that Daniel couldn’t see your bubbling fear as you rode past the pasture towards the trailhead.

Despite your immense anxiety, the notion of him seeing you riding his favorite horse was attractive, but all you could focus on right now was keeping Ares under your control.

“Lookin’ good down there, ladies!”

Daniel waved from where he stood in the pasture, smiling charmingly. The young girls behind you giggled, enamored with the roguish barn boy who was currently shirtless as he bathed Guinevere, glistening with sweat and water. You shook your head. His flirtation meant nothing. He just wanted attention. Your riders waved back at him, and he tipped his hat gallantly. They crushed on him the same way one might crush on the older pool lifeguard in one’s youth, all blushing cheeks and smitten, innocent glances. And Daniel always responded in the way that lifeguard might: crooked smirks and harmless, playful quips.

You chose not to respond to Daniel, knowing it would only egg him on. Instead, you urged Ares forward. A few more yards and you’d disappear into the trees, shielded from Daniel’s piercing gaze and baiting words. But Ares stalled beneath you. Daniel noticed the way you clucked and kicked at the horse’s sides, trying to get Ares to budge.

“Is Ares too difficult for you, heiress?”

Your students chucked a bit, and your face began to burn. You kicked at Ares harder now, but he only stamped his hoof into the gravel at the trailhead and huffed.

“Just switch with her!“ Daniel said, pointing at the girl riding Ziggy— the easiest horse in the barn. “I bet that little lady can handle Ares better than you.”

More giggles from behind you. The fury within you was reaching a peak, and it started to mix with your nervousness, creating a boiling concoction of intense emotions that left your fingers shaking. Ares could feel this as he pawed at the ground, flicking his head up and down.

“Maybe I should just show you how it’s done, huh?”

“Show me how what’s done, Wagner?” you shot back. Your voice broke slightly, and you hoped Daniel would interpret it as anger rather than fear. Ares was getting antsy, and you didn’t like it at all.

“Riding,” he said with a chuckle. “You sure you’re the best person here to teach these young ladies?”

Before you could give Ares one more swift kick, the horse’s ears pinned back against his head.

A loud rustle came from the woods to your left. You saw flashes of spindly legs and streaks of white as a family of deer ran through the underbrush.

Ares startled, his hooves skittering on the gravel, the movement abruptly sending you forward as you clung to the horse’s neck. A loud whinny shocked your ears as wind started whipping against your face, the trees flying past your eyes.

Ares was bounding down the trail, sprinting through the woods. Your heart was pounding harder than his hooves against the dirt. You gripped the coarse hair of his mane as tight as you could with trembling fingers. Your legs flailed with every one of Ares’ panicked strides. Your thighs and feet struggled to find purchase against his sleek body, clambering frantically. But you couldn’t stabilize yourself, and Ares was running wild.

You felt your hips slide as Ares rounded a sharp bend. The air was knocked from your lungs as you hit the ground, your vision going dark.

~~~

“Shit, shit, shit.”

Your eyes fluttered open at the noise.

“Shit, Y/N.”

Daniel swung off of Guinevere before she had even come to a stop.

His face was blurry above yours. His urgent hands quickly inspected your arms, your legs, your torso. One of his hands came up to cup the back of your head.

“Fuck.”

Strong arms slid under your knees and your back as he lifted you up.

The next thing you knew, you were flying again. Sat sideways in front of him, your head jostled against his shoulder. One of Daniel’s hands was held tight to the reins, the other wrapped around your waist, keeping you right up against him.

“Hold on, sweetheart. You’re ok.”

His voice was warm in your hair.

You then winced as his voice rang out, calling your mother‘s name. The sound stabbed at your ears, sending tendrils of pain through your head.

Daniel slid off the horse with you in his arms.

The worried voice of your mother drifted into your mind, her cold fingers shaking while pushing the hair out of your face.

You then found yourself tucked in the passenger seat of Daniel’s truck, The landscape was racing by outside the windows. You felt Daniel holding one of your hands tight. He gave it a squeeze.

“Stay awake for me, honey, ok? You can’t go to sleep.”

You squeezed his hand back.

The rest of the drive went by in a blur, as did the visit to the emergency room. Unfamiliar instruments were held up in front of you in dark rooms, and you answered as many questions as you could. As soon as a voice told you that you were allowed to rest, you closed your eyes and sank into sleep.

“Hi.”

You blinked awake to see Daniel right beside you, holding your hand. He was smiling sweetly, his face laced with concern. The fluorescent lights of the sterile room around you had been dimmed, but they still stung your eyes.

“You’ve only been out for an hour. The doctors said to ask you questions when you woke up. Can you tell me your name?”

You answered, hating how quiet and weak your voice sounded.

“Can you tell me my name?”

“Danny.”

He smiled, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb.

“Good job, sweetheart.”

He paused for a moment, seemingly taking in the sight of your dazed eyes. He leaned in closer in his seat beside the cot, his elbows propped on his knees.

“You’ve got a pretty nasty concussion, but you’re ok. No broken bones or anything like that. They gave you some stitches for the cut on the back of your head.”

Your voice was croaky and hoarse. “Where’s my mom?”

He was quick to ease your stress. “She’s at the barn. She’s taking care of your students. She’ll be here as soon as she gets all the horses put away. I had to drive you so I could explain to the doctors what happened to you since Susannah didn’t see any of it.”

“You drove me?”

“You don’t remember?” He sighed a bit, shifting in his seat. “No ambulance would have gotten all the way out there quick enough,” he said quietly. “I had to make sure you were ok.”

You felt his fingers against your cheek. Bits and pieces of the car ride started coming back to you. The empty roads, the speed, Daniel’s worried face. But mostly, you remembered the way that he held your hand.

The way he was still holding it.

***

Part Three

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