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hwanami · 3 years

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Ocean’s Call

pairing: kim hongjoong x siren!reader

genre: angst, a bit of fluff, (i guess you could say this as) pirate!au

word count: 5358 words

summary: after several encounters with Hongjoong, his ship will finally sail to where you live. Knowing how dangerous it is over there, who knows how far you will go to save him.

a/n: ((man, i suck at writing summary)) but hello hello! i didn’t plan to write another part of this fic but here we are hehe. i actually getting the idea from ateez latest comeback deja vu buuuut since work kept me busy, i just managed to finished it now ;___; anyway, i hope you still can enjoy it hehe

warning: character death, drowning

tags: @closer-stars @ja3hwa

The breeze of the wind greets the man by the shore of the beach. He smiles to the sun who bids him goodbye while his hand rested in his pocket. His fingers fiddling with the bracelet in his pocket before he takes it out, seeing the aqua marble shine with the help of the sun rays. It looks like the clean water in the ocean where you can see the colorful collars down there. A content smile decorates his face, “I hope she likes it.”

Maybe it’s not a good idea for you to even meet the sailor again after your first encounter. But here you are after numerous meetings with him after that day. Sometimes you visit him during the night; sometimes he asks you to meet him when the sun sets; sometimes you just randomly spot him and when he spots you, he would smile and wave and ask you to come closer to have another small talk with him. You stopped wondering if it’s a good idea for you to have this bond with him because you know it’s not, but you still come to him just to see his wide grin every time you have the chance to.

You waited behind the rock until you hear the faint splash of the water. It must be Hongjoong in his small boat and you peek to make sure. The man smiles when he spotted you and waved his hand, “hey.”

You smiled back, nodded your head. Pretending to be mute to prevent anything unwanted to happen.

“Can you swim closer? Or do I have to go there?”

You quickly shake your head and swim closer to him, eliciting a chuckle from Hongjoong. Once you reached his boat, he put his hand behind his back, “I got you something.”

You tilt your head, asking for a clue. Which again, he chuckles to. Everything you do always look endearing for him that he can’t help but smile to it. He brings his hands and shows you the bracelet he bought earlier, “look.”

He hangs it in the air, letting the moon shines on it. Making the marbles sparkle under the moonlight. And he can’t help but smile even wider when he sees not only the bracelet is sparkling, but also your eyes when you see his gift.

“Give me your hand,” he says, as he hands you his.

You put your hand in his and let him put the bracelet on your wrist. Hongjoong then smiles fondly before leaving a peck on your palm. He looks at you in the eye when he asks, “do you like it?” which you nodded your head to. Because you do love it a lot. The bracelet and just the thought of him giving you something.

“It reminds me of you,” he says again as he looks at the aqua beads circling your wrist, “it looks like the ocean.”

His eyes moved from your wrist to your eyes, still with a smile on his face, “I couldn’t help but want you to have it.”

The dark night hides the blush on your cheek as you smile at him. Seeing the smile on your face, Hongjoong silently thanks the moonlight for hiding the hint of red on his face.

“Ah,” Hongjoong starts, pulling your attention to him again, “my crew will sail to the west.”

Your eyes widen, west? You almost let your voice out.

He sees the change of your expression and he clears his throat, “is it that scary? That side of the ocean?”

You gulp. Not the west, you thought to yourself. It’s where you always go back to, where the sirens stay and hunt.

Seeing the worries started to fill your eyes, Hongjoong tries to lose the tension by chuckling, “don’t worry. I’ll be as careful as I can. We passed by the sirens several time, we’ll be safe.”

His hands moved to cup your cheeks, “I’ll be fine.”

You knitted your eyebrows together but nodded your head nonetheless.

The cheeky smile of his appeared again, “are you really worried about me?”

Again, you nodded your head. Earning a fond smile from the man in front of you before he leans closer to whisper, “I’ll be fine. I’ll come back to you. I promise.”

His eyes dart from your eyes, to your nose, to your lips, before going back to your eyes. Hongjoong swears he met a lot of mermaids before. Sure, they all look prettier than the one who couldn’t speak in front of him right now. They have more vibrant color for their tail than you do. They can sing and laugh with him. Yet, his heart yearns for your smile. For the light in your eyes whenever he tells you a story. And for the endless unsaid thoughts in your head that he always wants to know.

The close proximity between his eyes and yours wake the fear in him. The fear that you deeply have too. That after this night, once his ship sails to the west, you won’t be able to hear his laugh again.

Before his brain could process, his lips spilled the words he’s been wanting to say for a while, “may I kiss you?”

And before you could think, you nodded your head. Thankfully, your brain finally works as he gets closer and closer. When his lips about to meet yours, you quickly turn your head to the right, leading his lips to land on your burning cheek. Hongjoong looks at you, confused. You smile, pointing your cheek he just kissed.

He smiles, “I’m only allowed to kiss your cheeks?”

You nod your head then pointing at your forehead too. Hongjoong chuckles, “there too?”

You nod your head again, this time with a wider smile.

His thumb moves from your cheek to trace your lips, “how about here?”

You smile then shake your head softly. He hums, “too soon for one there?”

You nod your head. Hongjoong smiles, “okay then.”

He moves and leaves a kiss on your forehead. He lets his lips linger there longer, hoping it won’t be the last time for him to do that. That night, two hearts hoping that the moon who has witness them wouldn’t let their fears come true.

“Did you meet that human again?” your friend asks, eyes filled with disappointment.

You only glance at her before hiding the marble on your wrist behind your back.

She sighs, “there’s no need to hide something I already see. He gave it to you, didn’t he?”

Again, you stay silent. It’s not like she needs your answer when she already knows it anyway.

“I told you staying close to him wouldn’t do you or him any good.”

“We’re just talking,” you finally speak.

“He is just talking. You never let him hear your voice.”

“Because he doesn’t need to hear it.”

“Because you don’t want him to hear it.”

“Why would I want him to?” you ask desperately, “I don’t want to cause any harm to him.”

Both of you stay silent until she breaks it, “do you actually have a feeling towards him?”

You only look down while your fingers keep holding the bracelet Hongjoong gave you.

“He will sail here,” you said softly, “please, don’t hurt him.”

She eyes you before sighing, “you can’t say that to the other sirens. They’ll just kill you instead.”

You gulp, “still, don’t hurt him.”

She sighs again, “you love him for real.”

You don’t even try to deny it. Why would you need to anyway? It’s already obvious by now.

“I’d do anything to just save him if anything bad happens to him.”

“Careful there,” you friend reminds you, “the other might hear what you say.”

Your lips curve down forming a frown. You really would do anything to keep him save. You would keep the other sirens away from him if you could. But you know that’s not how your pack works. Even if you pretend to hunt him, there’s no guarantee other sirens would leave him alone.

“I just hope you won’t do anything stupid.”

You look at your friend, confused. She then looks at you, “such as going to the sea witch to ask something.”

You frown, sea witch?

“You ever heard the story of The Little Mermaid?” Hongjoong asked one day.

You looked at him, tilting your head. Eliciting a chuckle from him before he shifts in his seat to look at you better, “you never heard of it?”

You did. You just want to hear the story again in his voice. So you shook your head slowly.

“It’s a stupid fairytale,” he said, “it’s about a mermaid who went to the sea witch, sacrificing her tail and her voice for a pair of legs after saving a prince and fell in love with him. But every step she takes gives her pain as if she walks on a knife. She can live happily ever after if the prince remembers her, but he doesn’t and thought another woman saved him.”

“So the other mermaid made another deal with the sea witch to save her. They gave her a blade to kill the prince with. If she succeeds, she can get her tail and voice back. But if she fails, she will die and turn into a sea foam. Guess what she did.”

You showed him your tail, trying to tell him that you think she succeeds. Hongjoong chuckles, getting what you meant.

“I really hope that was what happened. But at the end, she falls in love too deep to kill him. So she took the blade with her as she jumped back to the ocean and turned into sea foam.”

You frowned, to which Hongjoong giggled to. “Some people found it romantic and stuff. I don’t know why they like to associate tragic with love.”

You shrugged, maybe love really associated with tragic, you thought. You then pointed at Hongjoong, asking for his opinion about it.

“What I think about it?” he asked. It’s really fascinating how he can understand you even without any words coming out from your mouth.

He hummed, “I think it’s stupid.”

You tilted your head, asking him to tell you more about it. “I just don’t think love should be all sufferings, especially only coming from one side. And that’s what the story all about to the mermaid.”

You nodded your head, getting what he meant. He then rested his chin on his palm, “do sea witches really exist though?”

Your nose scrunched (something Hongjoong noticed you do when you’re thinking), you then shrugged again. You sure heard about their existence. But encounter with one yourself? Never. So you’d rather not completely believing into their existence.

“I see,” Hongjoong nodded his head before grinning cheekily to you, “if they exist, don’t even try to get involved with them. Okay?”

You only gave him your smile before nodding your head.

I’m sorry, you think as you swim into the dark place you’ve never been before. No light touches there. Nor any sirens around there. You look around as shivers run down your spine. Your eyes stay alert to any movements around you. It’s really not a good idea for you to be here but again, you’d do anything to keep him save.

Once you spot the dim lights, you gulp. You stop once you’re near.

“If they exist, don’t even try to get involved with them. Okay?”

Your fingers trace the marbles in your wrist again, “I’m sorry, Hongjoong.”

And you walked closer to the light.

“Oh, we have a visitor,” said the alluring voice. When her eyes met yours, they lit in fascination, “look what we have here! A siren!”

You swallowed. To be honest, you don’t really like to be call that way. Maybe because deep down you hate being one.

“What can I help you with?” she said in amusement, “I usually get mermaid so it’s really surprising to get a siren today.”

“Can you really grant my wish?” you ask.

The sea witch blinks her eyes before laughing, “I usually do a good job with that, but the result depends on yourself.”

“And the price I have to pay, it depends on my wish too, right?”

She nods her head, “yes, it depends on what you’re asking for.”

“I want you to help me to save someone.”

“Someone?” she raises her left eyebrow.

“H-he’s a sailor,” you clear your throat, “he said his ship will sail towards where the siren–”

“Towards where you live?”

You gulp again, nodding your head, “they won’t care about it, they only care about luring them to their death. A-and–”

“Well, isn’t that what you do?”

Your mouth hang and you look at her in disbelief. Which cause her to laugh out loud, “I’m just joking, though that’s really what you do.”

“So, how exactly will you help him? Like, what can I do to help you?”

“Please, take off the curse in my voice,” you say before looking into her eyes, “take off the curse so he won’t get hypnotized from hearing my voice.”

The sea witch raised one of her eyebrow, “you sure that would be enough to help you?”

You nod your head, “I think it will.”

She nods her head, “alright. That’s not hard.”

“And how about the price?”

A wicked smile forms on her face that sends chills to your bones, “since you ask for such a simple thing yet such a big thing we’re dealing with, don’t you think a life for a life is the fairest price for it?”

She watches how your face turn pale. A life for a life? You thought to yourself. She then opens her mouth again, “if you success in saving his life, then you’ll turn into sea foams. But if you fail, then you get to live and the curse is back. In short, your life for his, and his for yours.”

Hesitation filling your head. Would it be wise for you to seal a deal like this? You love him. You know you do. You want nothing but all the best for him. But with this deal, doesn’t that mean no matter what happen, you won’t be there to see his smile again?

Sensing your hesitation, the sea witch speaks again, “or we can do with something else. Something that bonds the two of you,” her lips curved into a wicked smile once again, “like the lovely bracelet on your wrist.”

You put your hand behind you in defense. There is no way you’re going to give the bracelet he bought you to anyone. Especially a creature he made you promise to never get involved with. Your response eliciting a chuckle that turn into a laugh from the witch, “ah, young love.”

“I always love getting a visitor who would ask anything for their loved ones, you know?” she said, “always amuse me how a heart can make someone choose a brave decision.”

“Is it scary down there?”

You perked up at Hongjoong who rested his chin on his palm. The sailor smiled, “I mean, we never know how and what is there deep in the ocean.”

You smiled, shaking your head no. At least for you, it’s not scary. Maybe it’s because you’re used to it.

“Really?” he raised his left eyebrow, “how about the scary creatures? The kraken?”

Your smile got even wider, making your eyes look like the crescent moon. Little did you know, that smile always wakes the butterflies in Hongjoong’s stomach.

You tilted your head as you shrugged. He hummed. A smile plastered on his face, “of course, you’d answer with that.”

“I guess I just found another differences between you and the other mermaids.”

You raised your eyebrow at him, making his grin got wider, “you’re a lot braver than them.”

Right, you think to yourself, you need bravery to even come here and now here you are.

“Well, the choices is yours. You can choose to–”

“Alright, I’ll go with the first one,” you cut her sentence as your other hand gripping the bracelet on your wrist.

The sea witch smiles, “a life for a life?”

You gulp before nodding your head.

“See?” her smile gets wider as she’s getting closer to you, “I told you it’s amusing what the heart can do.”

“But I need another thing in the deal.”

“And what is it?”

“Guys! Get your earplugs ready!”

Hongjoong looks at the crew who shout it before taking his earplugs. He knows the ship is getting closer to the west, to where the creature with the deadly voice lives. It’s not the first time he has to encounter the sirens, but sure enough, the first experience still haunts him like a nightmare.

“Does siren’s curse work on mermaid?” he asked you that night.

You shook your head no. Seeing your response, he smiled, “glad to know they won’t get you.”

“Sucks to be human, we can’t resist their curse,” he sighed, “I thought people were just overreacting about the curse. Well, seeing is believing, right?” he looked at you, “I finally know they’re not overreacting when I see with my own eyes how they took one of my best friend away years ago.”

Hongjoong looked up to the sky, seeing the stars filling the dark. He smiled, “stupid Seonghwa giving me his earplugs because I was being clumsy and lost mine in panic. Some crews had to hold me from running to him, once he and his hypnotized mind started to jump from the ship. While the others tried to hold him but failed to do so.”

The sky was dark, but with the help of the moon, he could see the worry and sadness in your eyes. Your hands moved to touch his, giving comfort that his heart seeks. You smiled at him, as if assuring him that they wouldn’t get him again.

He chuckled, “right, they still wouldn’t get me.”

Your smile got even wider, thankful that he managed to get your message. His hand then moved away from yours and he pinched your cheek slightly, “I’ll count on you to save me if they ever get me since their curse doesn’t work on you.”

You pouted before pushing his hand away from your cheek. It’s not that you don’t want to save him, but you hate the idea of them getting Hongjoong in the first place.

Hongjoong being Hongjoong, he knows right away how you actually feel just from seeing your eyes. He moved his finger again, caressing your cheek that he pinched a moment prior, “don’t worry about it. They won’t get me. Or you. They won’t get us, okay?”

You looked into his eyes before nodding your head. He just didn’t know that time how far you’d go to make sure he’s safe.

Hongjoong looks at the pair of earplugs in his hand before putting them. This time, he makes sure his hands aren’t shaky and he makes sure he put it properly. This time, he makes sure he doesn’t make any of his crew to risk their life for him again. This time, he will be okay.

The ship is chaotic and tense at the same time. Everyone running here and there, making sure everyone and everything is prepared for the worst while hoping for the best. Just like the others, Hongjoong doesn’t stand near the edge of the ship to prevent themselves from falling if crash happens.

Hongjoong can hear his own heart beating like a drum. His mind still remembers every second of the last time like a movie. His earplugs falling from his trembling hand, to Seonghwa’s hand cupping his cheeks while he put his earplugs to him, then pushing him to the other crews while the hypnotic voice of the siren started to fill his un-shield ears. Hongjoong closing his eyes, letting out a sigh. There’s no Seonghwa to save him now. But again, he’s not the fragile boy he used to be anymore. He finally opens his eyes. Holding his fear inside as the ship started to go through the void.

Hongjoong holds his breath. His ears are being shield from the deadly melody as the ship sails slowly. The whole crew stay silent as their ship moves safely. That was until a crash being heard from the left side of the ship. All pair of eyes look at the ship hitting too close to a rock, causing the ship starting to tilt. The ground they stand on started to shake and some of the crew lost their balance. Some fall to the ground while their ear-shield started to lose.

Maybe Hongjoong prayed too hard that his earplug won’t fall and his ear kept being shield, he forgot to pray for the ship he stands on. The crash causing the water started to flood the ship. Some of the crews losing balance, some falling into the water. Some lose their shield for their ear and starting to walk away from the ship listening to the heavenly voice of a deadly song. It feels like re-living his nightmare for Hongjoong. But this time, it is even scarier than before.

In the middle of the chaos, Hongjoong started to tremble like he did back then. Causing him to lose balance for a second before he snaps back into reality. He tries to regain his balance on his two feet, but the heavy wave shaking the ship hard enough to get him to fall. Thankfully for him, his earplug still covering his ears although he falls into the ocean. Hongjoong tries to swim into the surface when several sirens swimming to his way, spotting a target as soon as they see him.

He was close to the surface when a cold hand touching his leg. Though his heart beats twice as fast, he managed to kick his leg and get the hand to let go of his leg. But they don’t stop. Hongjoong swims faster but siren doesn’t hunt alone. Some of the other siren started to swim his way, either to distract him or to get in his way. Just as his head about comes out from the water, his earplug started to loosen at the same time a siren’s hand holding him again. Panicked, he was about to kick it again when his eyes finally see the tail.

“Shui?”

The being with a tail showing her head to the surface, “put your earplug and hold your breath.”

His eyes widened to the voice of yours, “you can speak?”

“There’s no time for that right now,” you failed to sound calm, “quick!”

Everything happen too fast for Hongjoong to even process what is happening. He quickly put the earplug but before he could take a breath, your hand pulled him into the water. To avoid any suspicion, you pull him even deeper into the water with you. Once you make sure the other sirens are busy with their own target and none of their eyes on you, you start to swim away from there as fast as you can.

Coming out from the water, your eyes darted and spot a rock. Quickly and carefully, you put Hongjoong there, trying to listen to his heartbeat while fearing you accidentally take his life away in the water.

“Hongjoong, please wake up,” you sobbed before trying to give him air through his mouth. Your shaky hand started to compress his chest before you blow another air to him. When you compress his chest again until he started to cough and let out some of the water in his respiratory system.

“Hongjoong!” you couldn’t help the smile that form on your lips. The man opened his eyes slightly, glancing at you, “Shui, why are you here?”

“Of course I’m here to save you,” you said, “you count on me to save you.”

He coughs again before closing his eyes, “do you know how dangerous it is? I’m actually worried when you were suddenly there.”

You gulp, “you don’t have to worry about me.”

Again, Hongjoong coughs. Harder this time. That’s when you remember you need to take him to the shore since he needs to be taken care properly for the “drown” you caused. You look at him, “come on. I’ll take you to the shore.”

Hongjoong, still not 100% well after your first aid, puts his arm around your neck as your arm circling his waist. You noticed how he tries his best to keep his eyes open. To ensure himself that he is conscious and that he is alive after the tragical event.

“It’s okay if you want to sleep,” you say, “I’ll make sure you’ll arrive safely at the shore.”

“No,” he sighs, closing his eyes, “you haven’t answered my question.”

“Which one?” you furrow your eyebrows.

“You can speak,” Hongjoong say before coughing, “so why are you pretending to be mute to me all this time?”

“Ah,” you nod your head. A pained smile on your face, “you’re probably going to be mad at me if I tell you my reason.”

“Why would I?”

You’re still smiling, “because I lied to you about… everything.”

Hongjoong furrowed his eyebrows. His eyes betray him and started to close as his mind started to think that maybe this is all just his imagination or his dream. Maybe he didn’t make it while drowning.

Seeing Hongjoong drifts to sleep like a child, your smile softens. Bitting your lips, you started to tell him the truth, “the reason why I never speak in front of you is because sadly, I’m not a mermaid like you guessed. I’m a siren, Hongjoong. I was scared anything bad would happen if you hear my voice.”

His nose scrunches, copying your gesture whenever you’re thinking. You chuckle, “you probably wonder ‘then why the hell are you talking to me now?’, right?”

You see the shore is getting closer, “that’s another thing I want to apologize to you. I broke my promise to you… the promise not to get involved with the sea witch.”

You sigh, “for your information, she isn’t as scary as the fairytale describe her to be. But the way she talks, and… well, the deal is the scary part of her.”

“What deal did you make with her?” he mumbles.

You swallow hard again, “just to keep you alive.”

“Is that why your voice doesn’t harm me right now?”

You smile, “you’re fast to catch up for someone who just get back from almost-deadly situation.”

“No, tell me,” he insists softly, “what is the price for it?”

“Nothing important,” you lie.

Hongjoong shakes his head no, “there’s no way it’s nothing important.”

The amount of ache you feel in your chest is unbearable as you put him on the shore. Although Hongjoong wants to do nothing but to hold you longer, his weak body doesn’t let him. You take the bracelet on your wrist and slowly put it on his, “just promise me you’ll stay alive.”

His weak hand holds your wrist, “you’ll come to see me again, right?”

You hang your head low, “I can’t promise that to you.”

“Why?” his voice just above a whisper.

You shake your head, “just promise me that you won’t forget about me, okay? If you can promise me that, then I’ll be with you wherever you go.”

Confused, Hongjoong furrowed his eyebrows, “why would I even forget you?” his eyes closing again, “I have no reason to forget the one I love.”

You start to understand how the little mermaid in the fairytale must have feel. Although you don’t feel a knife ripping your tail away as you swim the way she did when she walks, the words coming out from the sailor’s you happened to fall in love with send harpoon to your chest.

“Then, don’t forget about me,” you smile at him before leaving a kiss on his cheek, “I will be sad if I ended up dying and being forgotten by someone I love.”

“What do you mean dying?” he asks with his remaining strength.

You only shake your head, “there’s someone coming this way,” you look at him once again for the last time, “stay alive for me, okay?”

The passerby spotted Hongjoong’s body and starting to run towards him. Before you swim away, you look back at Hongjoong once again who is sleeping by now. Chanting I love you softly for the last time before you swim away from the shore.

As you swim further, you feel a change on your lower body. A smile form on your face as you feel yourself getting lighter, “thank you for staying alive, Hongjoong.”

“But I need another thing in the deal.”

“And what is it?”

“If I success and he survived, can you… erased his memories of me?”

The sea witch widens her eyes, “you want me to erase you from him?”

You nod your head, “I wouldn’t want him to remember a liar like me.”

Not only you lied to him, you also broke your promise with him. You don’t think you want to be remembered as a liar and a betrayer.

The sea witch hums, “that’s not a hard thing to do. So, we have the deal?”

You nod your head again. She stretch her hand to you, asking for your hand. She starts to chant words you can’t make out and your surrounding started to get brighter as she put her spell on you. Once she finished, she opens her eyes, “all done.”

You mumbled a thank you before bidding her goodbye. Once she’s about to lose sight of you, she calls out to you, making you look back at her.

“I know how strong my spells are, but we’ll never know how stronger a heart could be.”

You look at her with a confused look. But you decided to nod your head as you swim away. Still not quite understand what she meant until the time you take your last breath before turning into a seafoam.

Hongjoong opens his eyes and the wooden ceiling greeted him. His head ache as he slowly sitting down. Where is he?

He looks around when suddenly someone with a glass of water coming from the door, “ooh, you’re awake!”

“Where am I?” he asks.

“You’re in Tortuga. Someone found you by the shore unconscious, so we took you here.”

He looks to the other beds, “my crew…”

“You were alone when they found you,” the healer says as he sits down next to him, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Hongjoong stares blankly. He remembers sailing to the west. The sirens. The nightmare in front of him. But how did he survive?

His eyes then landed on the bracelet on his wrist. Confused, he points at it, “did someone put this bracelet here? I don’t think I own this.”

The healer furrowed his eyebrows, “it was on your wrist when they found you. We didn’t put anything on you, nor putting out anything from you other than your wet clothes.”

“But,” the healer sighs, “it’s normal if you’re confused after a traumatic incident. You still need to rest, so I’ll just leave this water here if you want to drink.”

Once the healer walks out, Hongjoong looks at the bracelet again. The aqua beads circling his wrist beautifully and he couldn’t remember buying it or getting it. So why is it with him? And more importantly, why is his heart ache seeing it? It’s as if he knows someone who supposed to have it but at the same time he doesn’t. His eyes then dart to the window and see the sea. The ache in his chest keeps getting more and more painful as he sees the blue water and the bracelet on his wrist. And before he realized it, his tears started to flow before he sobs quietly.

He doesn’t remember who the bracelet belongs to, but the sea and the aqua bracelet on his wrist calling him. Giving an unmeasurable amount of pain to his heart who never forget who he lost.

#ateez #ateez au #ateezlovenet #ficscafe #ateez fic #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez writing #hongjoong angst #hongjoong fluff #hongjoong au #ateez oneshot #kim hongjoong au #kpop writing #kpop fic #kpop oneshot #kpop angst #kpop fluff

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elle9095 · 4 years

Text

So yesterday The Boyz’ Checkmate performance on Road to Kingdom completely blew my mind and it's been all I can think about for like 15 hours so I figured writing basically a dissertation explaining what I saw in their performances is going to help me make sense of life again.

The narrative that I got from the performances tells a story about the power struggles of monarchy, both literally and metaphorically, when you consider the industry. It’s also the concept of the show, giving these bands a chance to play in the same league as the so called kpop royalty.

It like the Boyz were on a show called Road to Kingdom and decided to make it literal.

First performance: Hwarang/ Sword of Victory

I think no one could've imagined what was to come when they made this performance. It was meant as an intro to the group so it was short and impressive and I’d say that it sort of set the style of their performance but not yet the general concept that has developed over the show.

Also I just learned that hwarangs were entertainers before they became a legion of warriors and later an institution, so they're basically old-timey boy groups turned soldiers.

How quaint when you consider the later performances.

Second performance: Danger

This is where it all started I guess. They went with the thieving concept of the song, decided to take inspiration from their first performance and bam now they’re stealing crowns and climbing walls.

Third performance: Reveal (Catching Fire)

So obviously referencing the Hunger Games which is a survival game but essentially a story of revolution.

Fourth performance: Heroine

This one's a bit different since it's a collab but yeah the whole performance is basically a person's journey to center stage, which is usually occupied by the winners/royalties.

Fifth performance: Quasi una fantasia

This one didn't look like it was going to fit the narrative with it being so ethereal and so hopeful, what with the branch slowly blooming, like a good thing coming to fruition, but this is the euphoria after you've made it and they sort of tell you in the title that yes this is basically a fantasy.

Final performance: Checkmate

This one is fucking insane okay? They start off with a deja vu: Yonghoon's with the hypnotizing watch again and you notice the blooming tree in the background but there's something uncanny and the watch stops, you get flashbacks of Juyeon taking down the king, wearing his crown, Q stealing the crown, stealthily sliding and passing it on to Sunwoo who seems like he's finally going to ascend to the throne and next thing you know he's falling and waking from a bad dream…

At this point I was already cursing and gasping and having a heart attack and they haven't even started singing. And it's like everything they've done so far was just a dream, the game is on let's start all over again.

And isn't it exactly like that? Because a game of thrones (though not explicitly referenced) is exactly just that: a game. You come to power but how long is that going to last? Sunwoo’s (literal) fall from power lasted a breath. You win first place on a music chart this week, you start all over again next week. And The Boyz would know that, having spent the the first weeks on top, but it only took a single performance in one episode for them to drop to third place.

And the chess concept is PERFECT. Chess is a game of war and strategy and the big picture and that's all they've been doing on this show: they've stolen, tricked, rebelled, and dreamed before they finally checkmate. All these performances make up one big picture and I don't know if they've planned this from the start but it’s fucking genius.

The Boyz are so good at coming with a concept and sticking with it, they make a song called checkmate and whoa they have a chess concept now, they have black and white costumes, dancers dressed as pawns, chess board effect and choreo, chess piece props… Which all seemed like obvious artistic choices but there's always MORE.

Like can we talk about that fucking table? I was like 'where did they find a three-way chess table omg it's gorgeous' and then someone's dancing on it and you see the glass tube thingy under the table and MOTHERFUCKER ITS A FUCKING CHESS HOURGLASS

Also for someone to be able to dance on it they flipped the table upside down and it's either like turning back time (rewind sound effect at the beginning) or starting all over again, but also I was like 'huh the tables have turned' and then 'OH FUCK OFF'

And it's all in the details in the performances, the small things that they reference, the same imagery that comes back again and again, every time I rewatch a performance I notice something I didn't before.

There’s the flower, something that's fragile and fleetingly beautiful, also the 'hwa' in hwarang. The moon, which is always changing, like an illusion, the full moon referenced in Reveal, which originally had a werewolf-y concept.

The fire, the sword, all associated with war and power. Even the tricks and optical illusions. The chess, the crown, the king. Everything came together so perfectly in that final performance and wrap up so nicely like HOW IS THAT SHIT EVEN REAL

I love how they have all the names of the song in the title cards (Thieves, Reveal, Paradise, Checkmate) and I’ve been thinking about the lyrics 'the show must go on' and 'the game starts again' and how Sisyphean it all is.

And it's almost like in the end they understand how futile the pursuit of power is but is still pushed by their drive to thrive for better, and in the end they realize being king isn't winning the game. Chess isn't about being king, you don't have to be king to win the game.

Their final card says 'As long as the moon shines, the king of all games is the Boyz'. They don't say 'we're the king' they say 'we're the king of all games'. It’s like 'yeah we're good at this and we're ready to go at it again' be it the hunger games, a game of thrones, or a game of chess.

DAMN THESE PHILOSOPHICAL REBELLIOUS BOYZ

These performances are inspiring and stimulating on so many levels, I mean yeah, the concept is mind-blowing, and of course the performances are just (literally) breathtaking but we haven't even talked about the technicalities.

Yes, I know these performances are great but more importantly I love how self-aware they are. They really seized the opportunity to do the kind of performance that they couldn't be possibly allowed to do anywhere else.

You can hardly do these things for a live audience, since so much rely on the camera work. You can't do this on music shows or music awards where people only care about the more famous groups.

And while these performances were created with the camera in mind, they still make the watching experience so incredibly live by making the performances so risky, upping the stakes to insane levels, and I don't just mean having to catch flying weapons or falling members, but like having a crazy domino choreography where one member's misplaced limb could ruin the whole shot, or using cool props and tricks that could so easily go wrong.

Like the branch that Juyeon was so upset about? The whole trick relied on everyone doing the right thing with the right prop at the right time right place TWICE all the while making it look effortless and seamless.

Can you imagine what kind of crazy you have to be to come up with that?

I personally think that mistake was a perfect imperfection when you look at the whole picture: something not quite right in this otherwise perfect dream that proved to be a mere fantasy, too good to be true.

Watching the Boyz on Road to Kingdom was pure delight, and for people like me who get off on the thrill of live experience, performances like these are SUCH A TURN ON. And as a writer I'm just a sucker for conceptual plots, unexpected twists and experimenting with structures.

I’m currently torn by a mix of feelings: excitement for Kingdom, anxiety about the safety of the performers, dread of the inevitable end of the show. It kills me a little to think that we'll probably not see this kind of performances as much. That they don't get to perform like this again: go all out and not just tell a story but a fucking epic that will make Bertolt Brecht cry.

I hope they get their own comeback specials or that the company does like OK Go and makes all these crazy fun performance music videos. At this point I don't even know how to organize my thoughts to express my love for the creative team behind the productions, like someone there's got imagination to spare and I want to pick their brains so bad.

I didn’t know anything about this group before my sister showed me their Danger performance clip, and I’m 98% sure I’d never have discovered this group have they not gone on RTK but holy fuck am I glad that this happened because this is probably one of the best things that came out in 2020, making this disaster of a year almost bearable.

So yeah, that's what I thought about the Boyz performances. Thank you for coming to my ted talk or whatevs

Also I have a second theory that the whole season is just Sunwoo getting over his fear of heights through exposure therapy.

#road to kingdom #the boyz rtk #the boyz #rtk spoilers #kpop boy group #rtk checkmate #juyeon #sunwoo #q #yonghoon

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laurelleghuleh · 3 years

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OCAF | Ch. 7 ″Bruises”

“You taste like camomile and freedom” Masterlist

Warnings: read the masterlist first

Song: “Addio” by Dirk Maassen

DAPHNE’S POV

“I think they’re gone. We have to head back now…” Levi suddenly said.

Our bodies were still glued one to the other, so close that their borders were blurred, so close that I could no longer tell where one started and the other ended. Our foreheads connected and our breaths, still unsteady, mingled in the small space they were granted between us.

As soon as I heard him say those words, I felt like landing from an unknown planet, regaining possession of my body and almost being able to sense again every inch of my skin, and Levi’s against mine.

"I think they’re gone. We have to head back now…” I repeated those words again, in my head, trying to isolate them one by one and assimilate them. And yet they were inconsistent, they made no sense at all.

I believed I could read them again, written all over my face, which was reflected in Levi’s eyes, right there in front of mine. Everything around me regained its weight, its smell and its sound: the racket of the people a few streets away, the pungent smell of the Underground, that kiss just to distract our chasers and the body of Ruth thrown into the trash.

Again, I felt my heart running wildly in my chest and furiously slamming against my ribcage, the sound of my thoughts going crazy on both sides of my head and breaking against its walls, my legs getting weaker.

Levi seemed to notice it and he told me, grabbing me by the shoulders "Hold on to me, I’ll bring you back up". I barely protested with my head, but at that moment it seemed impossible for me to do anything else.

I hated being so weak sometimes. I hated always being at the mercy of my emotions. At that moment I actually hated everything and I felt like I was going completely insane.

"Come on," said Levi, then he looked around, he wrapped me around my waist and activated the three-dimensional maneuvering device with his other hand. I held on to him, closed my eyes and let him do whatever he wanted.

I couldn’t stop formulating rambling thoughts and a strong sense of frustration seeped through my skin, down to my bones. If I’d opened my eyes at that moment, I wouldn’t have been able to stop the tears.

As soon as we reached the manhole and the ground, I escaped from Levi’s grip, pushing him away. I felt like I was close to losing control of myself.

I began to walk in the darkness of that old abandoned canal, looking for the trapdoor and, inadvertently, I opened my eyes. A warm flow of tears completely wet my face, I felt like overflowing and I could no longer tell if I was blinded from the darkness or pain.

"Daphne, wait..." tried to call me Levi and as soon as his hand touched my arm to stop me, I dodged it with unexpected violence. I could hear his footsteps right behind me and his voice slowly trying to call my name again.

I struggled in the dark, trembling and holding my chest tightly with my hands to block a strong urge to burst, until I realized I was under the trapdoor. I stopped, undecided about what to do: it was too high to reach. Suddenly I felt again Levi behind me, who forcefully blocked both my shoulders. He didn’t say anything, he just squeezed me tight and reactivated the device.

When we arrived in the basement, I moved immediately away from him again. I plodded along, despite a little light had returned and I could finally see again. My legs didn’t seem to cooperate, and even keeping my eyes open had become torture.

Levi’s steps religiously followed mine up the stairs: at that moment his figure behind me felt like something suffocating yet reassuring.

I could not fully realize what surrounded me, I kept walking on the memories of someone else, probably a soldier of the Scouts who I must have been once, a few hours before, someone who knew those corridors and where her room was.

But one thing was sure, I wasn’t alone. Levi was walking a few steps away from me like he didn’t want me to intrude on that pitiful funeral march. On the other hand, around us there was an endless and messy row of curious cadets, intent on discovering what had happened. It felt like a deja-vu. Nevertheless, I proceeded, like I was sent to the gallows.

Their eyes focused on me had no weight, as if they couldn’t reach me and a bubble protected me from their every whisper or look.

Without even realizing it, I was already in front of my room. When I crawled just a few centimeters from the entrance, I felt again Levi’s body dangerously close to mine.

Both his fists moved forward and stopped on the doorjambs. Then his face leaned close to my ear and so Levi said, almost whispering: "Please, Dafne, say something".

Unable to spell a word and still trembling, I gripped the handle of my door.

"Say something, anything" he continued.

"No..." I whispered so softly that I couldn’t even hear myself.

"Daphne, I know you’re in shock but..." he tried to say grabbing me by the shoulder to make me turn around.

Helpless, I let him play with me as if I were a puppet and as soon as our eyes met his expression instantly changed. My face completely marked by tears must have somehow struck him to the point where he wasn’t even able to finish his sentence. He swallowed soundly and kept staring at me.

I felt my eyelids heavy and my face sore. I faintly opened my jaw and after a couple of attempts I managed to stutter: "Alone... I want to be alone"

"No, Daphne, listen," he tried to say.

"Leave me. Alone." As I articulated those three simple words, I felt my throat burning and its walls cracking trying to let out that feeble thread of voice. At that point, I couldn’t hold back any more tears.

I quickly opened the door and then slammed it. I left Levi out and as I let myself fall to the ground with my shoulders glued to the wall, I pictured his reaction.

There was nothing more to hide, it was just me in that room, which at that point seemed really someone else’s, a stranger, a good soldier, definitely not me. I had left my sisters in those monsters’ hands, with that flimsy promise to come back, to come back and save them.

Who am I kidding? I had no plan and any attempt was constantly boycotted by something or someone, by Marta, by the master, by the aristocrats, by money, from time, from fate, from that stupid fate written in someone's name. Supposedly my destiny was not to turn into a fucking tree, but to continue to flee aimlessly, chased by something, that was breathing down my neck.

There, on the ground, with my head in my hands, I let myself go to an uncontrolled, desperate and humid cry. I felt my back arch unnaturally at every hiccup and the tears dropped down on my clothes, on the carpet, everywhere.

I tried to calm down thinking rationally about what to do next: going back to the Underground now would be suicide, I didn’t know what was happening. On the other hand, staying still seemed to be equally impossible. Every good plan, every little thought was promptly overshadowed by that image that would have never stopped haunting me. Ruth’s dead body and the memory of her loud laughter, of her abrupt manners, of her quick comebacks, the memory of her alive. Those images seemed to not match that horrid show I had saw down there. And yet I was sure that was her.

Ruth was around the same age as my sister Abigail and growing up they became quite inseparable, despite their differences. Ruth had always had a bad temper and Abigail’s candor often hurt her to the point of inadvertently pissing her off. But Abigail had always been far too lenient and good, and she always managed to be immediately forgiven.

Ruth was sly, stubborn, one would say far too unreasonable sometimes, but she would have fought tooth and nail because of something she firmly believed in. She had even managed to fool Marta and gain some advantages, like working in the betting rooms rather than always work as a prostitute.

She had an eye for cards and bets and was extremely good at putting in place any rude customer, despite her small figure.

My chest squeezed at the thought of what might have happened to her. Knowing her pretty well, she could very well have asked for it... but how to justify those pustules all over her body? What if it was the master? What if other girls ended up in the same condition as her? What if there’s a plague going on?

I felt overwhelmed by all those thoughts and just mentioning the others, Nina’s face immediately appeared in front of my eyes, still flooded with tears. Nina...how is she doing...I thought.

Ruth was a loose cannon who was hiding a secret, that one day would have surely cost her her life. Her clandestine and unclear relationship with Nina had always been well hidden mainly by the discretion and mysteriousness of Nina, much older and smarter than Ruth.

I always thought that Nina was one of the most fascinating, charming and sharp women I’ve ever met, and I always wondered how someone like her still couldn’t escape from there, and first of all how she even ended up in that rathole. Her only religion was money and what they could give her. In that world and within those walls very little actually, but that tiny feeling of power gave her an overwhelming and indescribable pleasure. And yet, her only love was Ruth and her big amber eyes.

It killed me that I couldn’t know what was going on and that I couldn’t do anything at all, so my anger suddenly seemed to reinvigorate my legs. I made my way into the room and everything that had accidentally found itself in my path was thrown away or completely disintegrated.

The tears kept marking my face, while every throw, every punch didn’t seem to make a big difference. The anger kept boiling inside me and at that point I had shouted so much that I had no more air in my lungs.

Once I was drained, I let myself fall to the ground again, in the middle of the room and so I decided to lie there, on the floor, surrounded by sheets, pieces of wood and broken shards.

A little wind suddenly seemed to warm my cheeks and I could not hold my hand from touching my lips. As soon as my fingers felt that flap of skin, I impulsively retracted them, as if it were not mine anymore, as it belonged to someone else. Levi.

There was another unfinished business: that kiss and his, and my unexpected reaction.

While I was trying to slow my heart rate, other memories of that moment suddenly resurfaced. It was definitely more than a moment and perhaps it was more than a plan. More than a kiss. At least for me.

From the first time I saw Captain Levi and felt his piercing eyes on me, I was completely mesmerized. Inexplicably, I had to admit it.

Growing up I had always rejected attraction in all its forms, as an evil illness that would lead to further weaknesses, such as love and a possible relationship. My spasmodic obsession with Abigail and my sisters already made me constantly insane, let alone let someone else enter that precarious balance of feelings. Luckily, no one had ever caught my attention, much less had I ever allowed a man to sneak into my head and enslave me to my futile and surely evanescent feelings.

I had learned with time to distinguish my work from personal pleasure, which I could get only from myself or from a client trying to isolate myself from that trivial form of entertainment. I had never judged my clients, I knew perfectly what they wanted and what they were desperately looking for, but for me that was just mere role-playing, that I put up to live and hope not to get killed by the master or by Marta in a tantrum.

I had trained my body and mind to navigate parallel tracks, my heart and my brain to never communicate. Yet Captain Levi seemed to have created a short circuit.

It was not his undoubtedly magnetic appearance that struck me, but his aura. Levi could walk and everyone around him would hopelessly be inclined to show him reverence, to show him respect and to comply with every order, despite his cold and unreadable ways, often severe and almost intolerable. He must have earned that kind of devotion, he must have been a good captain and this idea had often been clear to me, in his attentions and his words. I had this feeling that Levi wasn’t that impassive character he was playing. His speeches had always been full of wisdom, heartfelt and honest.

Those were the words of a soldier who must have been through a lot. When I found out he came from the underground too, I was even more intrigued and that mystery became more and more fascinating. And I was worried about myself it could have become far too tempting.

I found myself too often fantasizing unexpectedly, even if for a short time, about him. What’s wrong with me?

None of those feeble dreams could, however, compare with what I had experienced on my skin a few minutes before. Levi had once again shown this unpredictable mixture of warmth and impulsiveness, softness and lust. And I couldn’t shake that feeling off of me, which seemed to completely pervade me again, while I was still on the ground, unable to do anything else.

He had slipped so deeply under my skin that he completely clouded the memories of Ruth and my past. Even that kiss, however, had the bitter aftertaste of loving forbidden things and I immediately thought it would be better to forget about it as soon as possible. I had already enough on my plate.

It was just part of the plan, we managed to convince those two goons that we were just a couple of lovers looking for a quiet place."Play along," he said, "Play along," and so I did.

That kiss meant nothing and should have meant nothing more than that.

LEVI’S POV

I clenched my teeth when the door closed in front of me. There wasn’t much else I could do at that point, and for a while I stood there, slightly leaning forward, while I tried to call her name again.

I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t have kissed her at a time like that and especially without her full consent. I thought it was the easiest thing to do and now I felt helpless at the possibility of having once again faded that dream of peace between us.

If on one hand I couldn’t go back on my steps, on the other I couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss and that intoxicating taste that I couldn’t wash out of my mouth, and the memory of her soft skin under my fingers and that eager desire of her, more of her.

"Captain Levi" I suddenly heard coming from behind me.

Erwin had just shown up and his unmistakable voice kept calling me at least a couple more times. Then I finally turned to him.

"Could you tell me what’s going on?" he asked, "What’s happening inside Daphne’s room? What the hell is going on?"

Indistinguishable noises began to follow one another: thuds, shouts and something that sounded like a glass breaking on the ground. I was just about to open the door and break into her room, but I decided to grab Erwin by the arm and I dragged him to my room.

"Levi?" He once again asked me, "What happened to you two? Do you think this is the right time to leave?"

"We were in the Underground," I said without a second thought.

"Are you kidding me? The Underground? With our devices? While we were ransacking the whole castle for-..." then Erwin’s expression suddenly changed and he added, "Oh... now I get it"

"No, Erwin, it’s not what you think," I told him promptly.

"Levi, you know, I have complete faith in your decisions, so just know that whatever you choose to say to me now, I’m gonna take it as read. But don’t abuse my blind respect for you. Now tell me the truth."

"I’m sure it wasn’t Daphne who killed the titants."

"All right. I believe you. Now, what about the devices?"

"She took her device..." I instinctively replied.

"I see... and what did you go to the Underground for? Was she trying to escape?"

"Erwin, I’m sorry, but I can’t answer that."

His jaw tightened and we stared for a while. I didn’t regret any of my answers and I would never tell a soul what Daphne confided in me or what I saw down there with her.

"All right..." he sighed "Before I leave though" spoke again Erwin "I’d like to remind you that the 57th expedition is pretty close, Levi. I want you to stay focused. Don’t lose sight of the target. And get that girl in line, I want her to fight in the front row, by our side. Okay?"

I nodded in response. Erwin was absolutely right, that was not the time to get distracted...

"Well, then I’ll see you in the cafeteria for dinner..." and so he left.

Under the lukewarm flow of water, I couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened.

One day a mysterious girl from the Underground literally catapulted into my life and brought with her a series of questions that I persisted in not wanting to answer.

I thought of the Underground as part of a past that I would never have access to again. I was not ashamed of my life before the Scouts. That was just what I had been arranged with and my present was what I had managed to do with that. Our mission against the titants had given me a new purpose in life, a noble cause to which I had dedicated body and soul, without any regret.

And yet since that night, I’ve been forced to dig up something latent, my past and the Underground, and with that girl also something that I’ve probably never experienced in my life.

Moreover, having seen that horrifying scene with her down there had upset me so much: I felt Daphne’s pain and her guilt of not having been able to save that girl and all those who still perished in that hovel. Which they still dared to call "Underground Capital". If they called it a catacomb, it would have sounded less ridiculous.

I felt the desperate and childish wish to help her and I thought that maybe showing her the true meaning of our mission could have helped her as much as it had helped me. A small hope was still burning somewhere in my bowels: if we had destroyed the titants, we would have saved everyone, even the Underground.

After I’d cleared myself of all the filth that kept sticking to me, I was on my way to the ground floor. As I left my room, the idea of knocking on Dafne’s door had occurred to me. I needed to know how she was doing, I needed to talk to her.

First, I tried to knock timidly, with a slight knock, but nothing. Then another one, but stronger. I thought about opening the door anyway, but something told me to let her go, maybe I’d meet her in the cafeteria. Leave me. Leave me alone she said. Her broken voice, her completely lost expression, stuck in my head as I proceeded in the opposite direction to her room.

When I got down, I realized that she had not come down yet and as time passed, I realized that she would never come.

It seemed that my presence in the cafeteria had attracted more attention than usual, but I tried not to care too much about it, in the end, nobody dared to ask me anything and I remained in my usual silence.

Before going back to the room, I decided to prepare a plate with something to eat for Daphne and just as I was leaving the room, Hange appeared in front of me.

"Midnight snack?" she asked, blocking my way with one arm.

"No," I answered annoyed. With one hand I twisted her arm to make it lower and I walked past her.

"Levi, wait," she then said.

"If you wanna know, no, it wasn’t Dafne who killed your beloved giants and-"

"I already knew it. I never thought it was her..." As I heard those words, I turned around.

"I just wanted to know what happened to her, I saw her before walking in the hallway, I tried to call her, but... it didn’t even look like her..."

Hange seemed genuinely concerned about Daphne and I didn’t know what to say.

"It’s for her, isn’t it?" she said, pointing at the plate I was holding.

"Yeah, I don’t think she had dinner," I said.

"All right..." sighed Hange "I hope to meet her tomorrow..." she smiled at me, and I answered with a brief nod, and then I started to walk away.

Once arrived in front of her room, I tried to knock again. I tried one more time, but nothing.

So, I decided to put the plate on the ground:" Please, Dafne, don’t make me break down the door. Just open it," I said caught in a wave of sudden and brief anger. No, that’s not good.

I sighed deeply, waited a bit and then spoke again: "Listen, I didn’t see you in the cafeteria... So, I brought you a plate with something to eat. I leave it here... Although I don’t know if you are hungry or not-"

Something stopped me, so I took a second deep breath and then "Actually, I don’t know anything, I don’t know what’s going on" How are you? What was that chaos before? Did you hurt yourself? Are you okay? I actually wanted to tell her "Daphne, answer me" I could only say. Fuck, answer me. But still nothing.

"Say something... Please don’t make me open the door" I just want to see how are you doing. Fuck, answer me

"I need to talk to you," I said, as I kept talking to the door, "I’m sorry about what happened. I’m sorry about what you had to see. And I’m sorry for acting on instinct. I’m not one to apologize, I’m not one to have regrets, but I shouldn’t have..." I stopped for a second "kiss you without your consent, Daphne, I-". Unintentionally I grabbed her door handle and opened it. I wanted to see her, I wanted to talk to her and I was talking too much for my liking. No, I can’t just invade her space like this. What the fuck am I doing? And with the same speed, I immediately closed the door. I shouldn’t have done that.

"All right... Then I’ll leave the plate here"

I didn’t know how much she had listened or if she had listened at all as I had hardly tried to tell her something logical. But all of a sudden, I felt two intense knocks on the door and then another, more delicate.

What the fuck does this mean? Thank you, Levi? But why should you thank me? Ah, for dinner maybe... Or did she wanted to say "Go away, Levi"? Did I picture those knocks? I had no idea what it meant, but I just needed to make sure that she was still alive behind that door and that was enough.

I put one hand on the door and then I said one last time, "I’m sorry, Daphne. Good night."

#Levi fanfiction #LEVI ACKERMAN #snk levi #Captain Levi #levixoc #levi x reader #levi heichou #snk fanfiction #snk fanfic #aot fanfiction #levi aot #read on ao3 #read on wattpad #ytlcaf #levi fanfic

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rukakikuchi · 4 years

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Dreamcatcher “Scream” MV analysis and Dystopia storyline theory

Or…

How Gahyeon (unintentionally) messed everything up!

Okay, all joking aside, I do think that Gahyeon does play a focal role in the story for this latest comeback. And these are all just my theories based on how I interpret the story shown in the MV, so keep an open mind when reading!

So without further ado, let’s get right into discussion of Dreamcatcher’s latest comeback!

…

With “Dystopia: The Tree of Language” opening up an entirely new storyline outside of the “Nightmare” series we had been following up until now, we must disregard what we have received from previous Dreamcatcher lore and examine the new possibilities for what could come next.

In the previous storylines we’ve gotten for Dreamcatcher, Yoohyeon was a focal role in the story of the “Nightmare” series.

She was the one who killed the spider in “Fly High” that led to everyone becoming cursed and was the catalyst for her eventual fall to darkness.

From “You and I”, to “Deja Vu”, Yoohyeon was a major focus of the story.

But now, it appears that Gahyeon is the one serving as the catalyst for what we see happen in “Scream” and might become the main focus of this new “Dystopia” storyline.

But before we talk about Gahyeon and her role in the story, let’s see what we can gather of this new world we see in the music video.

Welcome to Dystopia

The world we see being depicted in “Scream” is a setting unlike anything we’ve seen thus far in Dreamcatcher’s music videos.

While some videos had a few fantasy elements, notably “Deja Vu”, they primarily focused on horror/thriller themes and imagery (ghosts, curses, witchcraft, etc.)

But “Scream” has much heavier emphasis on the fantasy elements; specifically, dark fantasy, since it still contains the darker, horror concept that has been consistent with the group.

In the “Nightmare” series, although the girls are seen performing rituals and apparently dabbling in witchcraft, they were never actually called witches.

They were “Nightmares”, girls who were cursed by a strange dark force, some of them corrupted or possessed by this entity, to be trapped in a never-ending dream.

But in “Scream”, there is no doubt they are now a real circle of witches. We see the girls not only wearing matching robes that you’d see a coven of witches wear (and we’ve seen them wear before in “Good Night” and “Fly High”), but Siyeon and Yoohyeon actually release magic from within them.

JiU in particular seems to have a strong connection to the titular “tree of language” that appears throughout the video, several scenes of her shown in a temple that might represent the inside of the tree itself.

Considering JiU is the leader of Dreamcatcher in real life, perhaps she is the guardian of the tree, and gathered allies to help her protect it, thus forming Dreamcatcher.

In fact, if we look at the album story spoiler teaser...

We see two girls on opposite sides of the tree. A girl with white hair, who we shall discuss the identity of in a bit, and a girl with dark hair, who I believe is JiU.

In any case, the tree is clearly an important part of their world, and may likely be the source of the girls’ powers. But more than that, the tree is also connected to the power of words and language.

JiU actually said during their rooftop VLIVE: “When people say good things, the tree bears white fruit, but when they say bad things, it bears black fruit.”

Perhaps this tree actually holds ancient archives of every event in history, or that it holds a great influence over everyone and its presence is what keeps peace and balance in the world.

And JiU, as the guardian spirit of the tree, helps it bear fruit of good, virtue, and light, and protect the balance with the fruit born of evil, negativity, pain, and darkness.

The very first thing we are given at the start of the music video is this…

“One day suddenly the light did not come, People forgot how to say good things.”

This means something catastrophic happened that influenced the power of the tree of language, disrupted the balance, and thus changed everything in their world. People began to spread words of hatred to those around them, because something had corrupted the tree.

The world which was once a “utopia” became a “dystopia”, and chaos and war erupted everywhere.

And I think it was Gahyeon who did this, but why and how?

Pandora’s box opened

When they released the album story spoiler teaser, we were given a glimpse of the story that “Dystopia” is telling us.

We see a little girl, reading from a book as words seem to flow out from it. Perhaps this book is connected to the tree; it contains great power and influence due to the words written in it.

However, we then see a darkness within the book start to flow out and drain away the girl’s lifeforce. Eventually she dies, but from what we’re shown in the teaser, it appears she is either reincarnated as or possessed by something sinister.

(From this moment henceforth, we shall refer to this being as “the spirit of evil”.)

What if that book wasn’t meant to be opened? That whatever contents it held weren’t meant to be read because it could corrupt a person’s heart and unleash a great evil. (Think Pandora’s Box.)

More importantly, who is this girl supposed to be? Is she supposed to represent a younger version of Handong, who wasn’t present during the video?

Frankly, no, I don’t think that’s the case. Because we do see Handong’s presence within the video. There is one dancer who is wearing a full face mask, dancing with the girls, and clearly is meant to be for Handong when she eventually returns.

So at the very least, we can assume she is also with the others as a member of Dreamcatcher, perhaps using the mask to hide her true identity.

And although we don’t see her, it’s very likely she will be incorporated into the story once she returns, so we’ll only know what Handong’s role in all of this is once that happens.

So for now, let’s just assume this little girl is someone else entirely. We see the girl is with Dreamcatcher, but they all appear sad when she dies.

They clearly cared about her deeply, but I just can’t figure out the relationship quite yet. Was she someone they were teaching magic to, or was it more of a familial bond, like a little sister?

We get these shots of JiU and Yoohyeon in the snow (which is often used to symbolize death), as well as shots later on of SuA in a black dress and umbrella. This shows all the members are in mourning over the little girl’s death.

However, I think Gahyeon takes the girl’s death the hardest. She doesn’t want to accept the fact that she’s gone; she wants to bring her back.

This leaves her vulnerable to the spirit of evil’s influence, as it lures her into the tree of language.

JiU can sense that something sinister has awakened, and hurries to try and stop Gahyeon, but as we see later, she didn’t make it in time.

When Gahyeon reaches the center of the tree, she finds a glowing crystal with strange symbols and a purple mist surrounding it. I think this represents the heart of the tree and source of its power.

Perhaps, under the influence of the spirit of evil, Gahyeon believed she could use the power of the crystal to change the events of the past and bring the girl back from the dead. But that’s an impossible wish, one that could never be granted.

And the moment Gahyeon touches it, it shatters and that’s when everything starts to go awry.

The inside of the temple represents the inside of the tree turns red, meaning it’s now starting to become corrupted by the spirit’s influence.

The purple flames that surrounded JiU (which represent the tree’s power) are red as well.

Strange red markings start covering the walls.

And a red burst of magic energy is unleashed from the tree. (Even the leaves turn blood red).

This is even reflected in the dance shots, as we see the girls dancing in a room lit up in red light, and choreography itself, as in the second chorus, Gahyeon stands at the center while everyone circles her and points at her.

So what happens now that the spirit of evil has corrupted the tree?

Seeds of evil

Although she might have had the best intent in mind, Gahyeon’s attempt at trying to revive a lost friend caused more bad than good. Because of this, her friends end up falling victim to the spirit of evil’s influence as well after it corrupts the tree.

During the first chorus, we are given a sequence of images:

Siyeon’s eye opening...

A vortex of dark purple clouds...

Siyeon walking through a forest covered in thick purple fog...

A black-and-white starry vortex...

SuA in a black dress, mask, and umbrella...

Another vortex of clouds, this time red...

The shot of the red hallway (look above).

Back shot of SuA’s umbrella...

And finally, a back shot of Gahyeon, though at a tilted angle. She’s in the same hallway, but this time it’s all white, meaning it was before the tree got corrupted.

Speaking of SuA, we also get a shot of her running through that same hallway, while being chased by a dark shadow. I believe this to be a result of the tree becoming corrupted by evil, and is now spreading to corrupt the girls.

SuA tried resisting it, but it clearly overpowered her.

Yoohyeon could sense there was danger, too, and tried to find her friends.

Now, as the darkness of the corrupted influence begins to erode the tree and spread to the girls, their memories become affected as well.

We are given shots of Gahyeon and Dami in black and white. I believe these are false memories of the two being implanted in the girls’ heads; a fake Gahyeon who spreads hurtful words, and a fake Dami who spreads lies.

This leads to Dreamcatcher breaking up.

JiU is trapped in the tree of language, Dami feels betrayed by her friends suddenly turning against her, while SuA goes to fight in the war.

Gahyeon feels immense guilt for what happened. Meanwhile, Handong goes missing (evident by her mask being left on the ground).

However, not all hope is lost.

Siyeon and Yoohyeon both feel deep down that their memories must be wrong, so they each go searching for answers on their own.

Siyeon searching through the thick fog is symbolic of her searching through her own memories, trying to find out what really happened, while Yoohyeon just wants to reunite with her friends.

So… What’s next for “Dystopia”?

The next chapter

This section will mostly just be predictions for how the next comeback will expand upon this new storyline.

Like mentioned previously, I believe that Gahyeon will play a big part in the story, as we saw her act as the catalyst for everything that went down in the video.

And as for Handong, there’s a chance that her inclusion following her return could add an interesting twist to the story, depending on what they decide to do with her role.

I also believe this new “Dystopia” storyline will continue to focus heavily on the dark fantasy aspects, and hopefully the next comeback can expand on this new world.

All we can say for now is... This is just the beginning.

I hope you guys enjoyed this analysis!

Until next time, sweet dreams! 🌙😴

#Dreamcatcher #KPop #Music #Theory #Analysis

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retrochannie · 5 years

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New Friends

Summary: Sunny meets Sian for the first time and it’s everything you’d expect.

[A/N]: I wanted to write an interaction between my oc’s and considering the closeness in their ages, I figured these two were the best match.

Requests are open! <3

Sunny was upset. She was being dragged to who knows where like a scolded child to change her clothes last minute before going on stage.

See, she and Jeongin had been jumping about backstage when she accidentally bumped into Woojin, causing the coffee he was holding to spill all over her shirt. How it didn’t get onto the elder too she didn’t know, but she was glad nonetheless as she definitely would have gotten into more trouble.

So now here she was, being taken to - presumably - a place where she would be given a new top and would have to change in record time.

Eventually, they stopped at a hallway with clothes on racks pushed up against the walls. Sunny noticed that the stylist was grumbling something quietly as she looked through the clothes hurriedly.

“If you had just being acting normal for one second this wouldn’t have happened” the stylist scolded again as she picked a shirt and shoved it towards the maknae’s chest.

“If you do something like that again don’t think I won’t tell your manager. If I were him I would of kicked you out already, you not at all profes-”

“Yah, don’t you think you’ve scolded her enough? Calm down lady” Sunny and the stylist looked towards the source of the voice and saw a girl that seemed slightly taller than Sunny herself with her hands in her pockets.

The stylist scoffed and told Sunny to get changed in the room they were standing in front of before leaving. The maknae turned towards the other girl again and smiled.

“Thanks! Sorry to bother you!” she said quickly and bowed her head.

“Not a problem, go get changed before she comes back for ya head” she said before Sunny nodded her head and entered the room.

“Good performance everyone! Rest up a bit before leave” the manager said out loud when the group of 10 got back to their room. They had just performed their new comeback Side Effects for the first time and everyone was pleased with how it went.

Feeling a sense of boredom, Sunny shot her friend Yeji a message to see if she could visit ITZY’s room. Surprisingly, she replied quickly and told Sunny roughly where it was. The two were friends, but couldn’t see each other often due to schedules - so they tried to connect when they were at events.

“Channie, can I go and see if I can find Yeji?” Sunny asked the leader.

“On your own? Sounds dangerous”

“Please? I’ll behave” she tried to give him the classic puppy eyes - which brought him to a sigh.

“Don’t be longer than 15 minutes, got it? And please don’t run in the hallway again - I’d rather not have you mess up your ankle for a second time” he said with a jokey tone at the end. Sunny smiled at him and gave the boy a quick hug as a ‘thank you’ before leaving.

It didn’t take long to the find the door with ‘ITZY’ written on it and Sunny contemplated knocking first before deciding that it’d be a lot more fun to just let herself in - especially since Yeji had done that to her before. Besides, they knew she was coming.

Sunny took the door knob and threw the door open with a huge smile-

Only to see 9 very confused people staring back at her.

They awkwardly stared at each other for a moment, which gave the girl a sense of deja vu from when she met the boys for the first time. In attempt to fill the awkwardness, Sunny spoke up.

“You’re not ITZY...?”

“Oh I remember you”

The two girls in the room spoke at the same time before the both of them started laughing. Sunny then realised that this was the girl that scared off the mean stylist.

“You’re the one that helped me!” she said joyfully and skipped over to her - not catching the boys’ confused stares.

“Is Sian some sort of superhero now?” a taller guy asked and Sunny was honestly kinda shocked by the height, none of her oppas were as tall as him - not even Hyunjin.

“Yah, don’t act so surprised Mingi. I can be nice” the names started to ring a bell in Sunny’s head. She had only heard of one Mingi and Sian.

“You’re Ateez!” she said putting her hands together, which caused everyone to look at her again.

“And you’re Stray Kids Sunny, right?” a boy with red hair - she was pretty sure he was Hongjoong - asked.

“Yup! Chaeyoung or Chae works too though”

“So how did Sian help you exactly?” Hongjoong questioned as he looked between the two (very different) girls.

“Some stylist was being a bitch is all” Sian replied before Sunny could.

“Language!” A blondish-brunette guy (Seonghwa maybe?) scolded, but Sian seemed to brush it off.

A sudden buzzing came from Sunny’s pocket and the girl took out her phone to see a message from Chan. Looking at the time, the maknae realised she was most definitely late.

“Aish I have to go, but it was nice meeting you all! We should talk again!” she told the group and they nodded happily at her before exchanging goodbyes.

While she was on her way back, another message pinged on her phone - this time from Yeji.

Yedgy;

hey sorry i forgot to tell u about our room change

i think the signs are still mixed?

Chaegay;

YOU TELL ME THAT NOW?

mean. blocked. :(

met a new bestie already

#stray kids #stray kids 10th member #female addition #au #sunny #ateez #sian #what is this? a crossover episode?#kpop #itzy yeji #theyre friends now :)

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2headlightsshine · 5 years

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Riverdale S3E22

I caught up on Riverdale’s season finale and just...

Is Betty’s skull really about to get bashed in?

Oh no, she’s saved by Penelope blossom in 10 seconds flat

Penelope who has help from a nun with a gun

What the fuck is going on?

The gargoyle king is chic, of course it is...

A fucking bonkers of a season is explained in 2 minutes exposition by Betty and Jughead because why not?

Cheryl really just said “reveal thyself”

Archie is legit about to fight a bear and says “oh crap, not again”

Oh sorry, it’s not a bear; it’s just a guy dressed as a bear #theboxingplotlinefinallymakessense

I’m surprised Archie isn’t half naked tbh

“I’m having a diabolical sense of deja vu”, Veronica coming in with the poetry

Spin the bottle Russian roulette with 100% poison rate, am I really supposed to believe that Betty or Veronica’s lives are in danger?

Ugh, “archiekins” has really made a comeback

Halle-fucking-lujah, Alice has finally seen the light

Lmfao Nanna blossom waking Toni up, speaking in riddles and referring to the group as her “school chums”

Toni “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about” Topaz 👏🏻 honestly I relate, I haven��t known what the hell riverdale has been talking about since season 1

Why is chic even still a thing? “Who doesn’t want to be a king? Who doesn’t want blood sacrifices made in their name”.. can’t say I do, chic, can’t say I do

Archie’s “wait I still don’t get it line” has been the most relatable thing he’s ever said

I do like Betty’s dress though

Hal really just got called a terrible serial killer; is this finally the end of him? Or will he start walking around like the headless horseman?

LOL this is ridiculous! They’ve had an angry mob chasing them until sunrise and Cheryl shows up like Robin Hood and her band of merry men

Are this many people that skilled at using a bow and arrow in the small town of riverdale?

Kevin “they left me”, count yourself lucky kid

Alice Cooper, an FBI informant LOL

In the words of Damon Salvatore, hello brother 👋🏻

Oh this just turned into Gossip Girl real quickly; Betty and Jughead have met their shared brother

They’re talking about their senior year. Do they even go to school at this point? Will they even be able to graduate?

Ok now what the fuck is going on? Why are they standing around a fire in their underwear caked in blood? Archie, did you just literally not hear yourself say “no more death cults or murder mysteries”

Why do I still watch this show?

#riverdale #my post #thoughts #spoilers #riverdale spoilers

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minhyukt · 6 years

Note

i’m so excited 💫 the teaser images are so confusing and i can’t wait for the mv (although it will probably be just as confusing as dramarama oml)

im a whole dumbass so i cant deal with theories but all the pictures has some kind of element from past comebacks mayb that’s why it’s called deja vu,,like the mark under jooheon’s eye reminds me of fighter hyungwon and the new teasers they’re wearing all white? like all in hyunghyuk? and there’s the danger line that’s somehow?? trespass?? idk there’s more but yea. this is really..the connect jfdkfg minhyuk said it’s not the same as dramarama but it’s also not too different so :0

#jhopefulworld #ask #everyone have their own theories fkkg

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midnightghostwriter · 7 years

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coffee's for closers

↬ summary: just when you think you've learned the faces of all your regulars, life deals you a little surprise.

↬ genre: fluff

↬ pairing: jay park x reader

↬ word count: 1.2k

a/n: just a lil repost of an older fluff for my fave aomg boy! hope you enjoy!

Beneath the sounds of coffee pots brewing and dishes being rinsed by your coworker, your sigh ghosted through the serene cafe atmosphere. This late, the place was basically empty aside from a few addicts trying to get their late night fix. Most of them were university students buried in the books were fighting so valiantly to memorize. You were standing behind the spotless counter you were cleaning just to have something to do, counting down the seconds until closing time.

Then, the chime of the bell echoed through the cozy space, and you looked up to see someone rushing through the door. With less than ten minutes to close, you couldn’t help another sigh as the guy approached the counter. He sure was cutting it close.

“Hey,” your coworker intoned, just as the guy reached the register, “I’ll take care of him. You go ahead and go home.” You looked at him in surprise.

“You sure?” He nodded and gave you an encouraging smile.

“You already did enough covering for Minah today. Go ahead, I got this.” An appreciative smile split your features.

“Thanks Hyunwoo!” And then you were darting away to get your things, barely sparing your customer enough of a glance to note the tattoos spiraling across the back of his left hand.

Whatever - not like you’d see him again.

You were, as it turned out, very wrong.

A few weeks passed before you had to work another closing shift, and it passed just as slowly as before. At least you had Hyunwoo for company again so you weren’t completely alone and in danger of going mad.

It was just a few minutes to close when the door’s bell chimed in the still air, and deja vu took you securely into its embrace. You looked up to find the same guy as last time striding toward the counter. At least you assumed it was the same guy, when you spotted some of the tattoos on his arm. This time, though, he’d ditched his hood, allowing you full view of his face. You almost regretted letting Hyunwoo send you home early the other night. Your reverie was broken by Hyunwoo emerging from the back room.

“Hey, good to see you again!” He greeted the guy, who offered an easy grin that made your heart stutter. Why did Seoul have so many attractive people?

“Hey man. The usual, please?” It took Hyunwoo elbowing you to make you realize you’d been staring and you immediately flushed.

“Can you make it? Venti Americano, add a little vanilla.”

“Ah, yeah, sure! On it!” You tore yourself away with only a little regret and hurried to make the drink while Hyunwoo rang him up. You finished just as the guy was moving to your end of the counter. With a little flourish, you presented him with the cup.

“Here you are! Careful, you’re hot,” you babbled, too caught up in how his hand brushed yours when to took the cup to notice your Freudian slip. Until you saw his face shift through confused, then smug. “Shit, um, I mean -” You were interrupted by the sudden sound of a phone ringing.

“Ah, I’ve gotta take this. Thanks guys!” And out the door into the night he went.

It was nearly a month before you saw him again, and you took every shift you could get, hoping for a chance to see him (not that you’d ever tell anyone that, least of all Hyunwoo who seemed to get a kick out of your face when he told you you’d missed the guy yet again). But with each late, dragging night that passed, you began to lose hope. Maybe you’d scare him off… But he didn’t seem like the type to be weirded out by a mistake like yours.

There was no point dwelling on it so much, you decided. Not like you even knew the guys’ name, nor he yours. He was just another customer. And yet you were more profoundly disappointed the more pronounced his absence became.

Then, one day in early May, a time of day you would have least expected him, a miracle happened. It was lunch rush, which meant you were so busy you could barely even recognize your regulars in the blur of faces. You lived for these times when your shift passed quickly and you didn’t have to deal with grouchy caffeine junkies longer than giving them their fix. It also meant that by the time you got to the end of the line, you were only hearing orders, not voices.

“Hi, what can I get you?” You chirped. The person at your register chuckled.

“Man, it’s a whole other store during the day… Any chance you still remember my order?” But that voice, that was one you recognized immediately. Wide eyed, you were only capable of gaping at him like a fish for a moment before you remembered the situation at hand.

“Y-yeah, of course! Venti Americano with vanilla coming right up!” You whirled around, racing to make his drink. Never before had your hands moved so fast mixing coffee and syrup. Breathless (and only the smallest amount because of your rushing about), you turned back and presented the cup like an offering to a god (if gods had tattoo sleeves and crooked smiles and fantastic hair - and maybe this one did). He handed you his card and took a sip, grinning at you again while you rang him up.

“Spot on. Just the thing for jet lag,” he laughed. Once he said it, you took notice of the circles forming under his bloodshot eyes and the rumpled nature of his hair.

“Did you come here straight from the airport?” You asked, bewildered. A note of sheepishness crept into his expression.

“Maybe. Is that weird?”

“A little,” you chuckled. “I mean, there must be more than a few dozen coffee places between here and the airport.”

“Definitely more,” he confirmed. “But maybe I wanted to come here instead.”

“Crazy,” you declared with a shake of your head. “I’d want to go straight home and sleep if I were you.” He shrugged.

“I had something I had to take care of. It was bugging my whole trip.” At this point, your heart was doing somersaults just talking to him this long. So when his polite smile became something of a flirtatious smirk, your poor heart tripped and crashed gracelessly on your ribcage.

“What, did Hyunwoo short change you or something?” You blurted, and he snorted with laughter.

“No,” he finally answered when he’d calmed down. “I kept wondering how this cute barista was doing, but I couldn’t worry about her since I don’t even know her name.”

“O-oh…” You stuttered, feeling your face flame brilliantly. The smirk turned into a smile just a bit less teasing than before (but not much).

“So are you going to tell me your name, or do I have to guess?” Nodding quickly, you sputtered the syllables of your name, and he returned them to you in his own timbre. Your heart, which had been making a splendid attempt at a comeback, just about stopped.

“I’m Jay,” he told you in kind, smile firmly in place at the red still present in your face. “So, when’s your shift over?”

“In a-about an hour,” you managed around the nerves still tangled in your throat.

“Awesome. Go with me for food when you’re done? Airplane food sucks.”

“Sure,” you answered, heart stampeding about your chest. “As long as we drink something other than coffee.”

#khh scenario #aomg scenario #jay park scenario #jay park fluff #; oops this is a repost of something i wrote a while ago #; it's tooth rotting but i still like it so #no rating

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junker-town · 4 years

Text

The 4 dumbest mistakes from Championship Sunday, ranked

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

We did not get a terrible no-call in this year’s Conference Championship Round, but we did kind of get a buttfumble.

Thank goodness we didn’t have another Conference Championship Weekend like last year. One moment in each game created a ripple effect that sent the Patriots (Dee Ford offsides!) and the Rams (that was PI!) to the Super Bowl, where they wasted our time with three-and-a-half hours of BORING.

We have much higher hopes for the upcoming Super Bowl 54 matchup between the 49ers and Chiefs. But Sunday started out feeling a bit like deja vu.

Early in the AFC Championship Game, Kansas City intercepted Ryan Tannehill on second down, but it was overturned on replay. The Chiefs took the momentum of a near-interception and immediately committed two penalties: a neutral zone infraction and encroachment on back-to-back plays that turned a third-and-5 situation into a first-and-5.

You’d think the Chiefs would’ve learned their lesson about staying on their side of the line of scrimmage in last year’s AFC title game, but nope. The Titans scored on the drive to go up 10-0, though the Chiefs would come roaring back.

Then late in the game, some fans on Twitter were outraged (shocker, we know) about a penalty called on the Titans. However, rather than turn into any real point of contention that would eventually lead to a rule change in the offseason, the “controversy” was quickly debunked by officiating experts.

So phew, we were spared this year from any egregious slipups that cost anyone a trip to the Super Bowl. But don’t worry. We still witnessed several dumb mistakes on the final Sunday of meaningful football before Super Bowl 54 (we’re cheating a little bit with the first one, but the 49ers played an almost flawless game and we wanted to include them).

4. Six different teams were reminded they let Raheem Mostert go

What do the Eagles, Dolphins, Ravens, Browns, Jets, and Bears all have in common? Well, besides how they were all sitting at home this past weekend. The real answer is that they signed Raheem Mostert at one point and then didn’t keep him around.

Mostert, an undrafted free agent and many-time practice squad player, was picked up by the 49ers in 2016. After two seasons of mostly special teams work, he started getting more opportunities to run the ball in 2018 and then even more in 2019. His patience paid off with his record-setting performance against the Packers: 29 carries for 220 yards and four touchdowns.

After the 49ers’ 37-20 win, Mostert says he keeps a list of the teams that cut him for motivation:

"I've been on seven different teams ... before every game I look at the cut dates." Raheem Mostert reflects on his journey after a record-breaking NFC Championship performance pic.twitter.com/ykezoDJbxX

— ESPN (@espn) January 20, 2020

Mostert’s story is one of perseverance, but the six teams that gave up on him are probably feeling regret.

3. The Chiefs tried their best to give the Titans a shot at a comeback

An 18-point lead in the fourth quarter is about as safe as it gets when the Titans are your opponent. Tennessee loves to patiently grind away with its powerful rushing attack complemented by play-action strikes. Put them in a hole and so much of what makes the Titans dangerous disappears.

All the Chiefs had to do was run out clock and not fall for any shenanigans from the desperation-mode Titans. They didn’t do well at either.

When Tennessee decided to punt deep in its own territory with about six minutes left in the game, it seemed like an obvious time for the team to try a fake punt. Obvious to everyone except the Chiefs’ special teams. They completely fell for it and allowed Brett Kern to throw to a wide-open Amani Hooker for a 28-yard gain.

Fake punt #TENvsKC @brettkern6 ➡️ @amanihooker37 pic.twitter.com/siIvUA4tAb

— Tennessee Titans (@Titans) January 19, 2020

The fake gave the Titans another shot to score and they did so four plays later with a 22-yard touchdown pass from Ryan Tannehill to Anthony Firkser.

Then the Chiefs got the ball and did everything except run the ball and wind the clock.

Running back Damian Williams allowed himself to be tackled out of bounds. Mahomes avoided a sack by throwing a pass out of bounds. Had it not been for a pass interference penalty on the Titans, the Chiefs were about to hand the ball back to Tennessee without wasting much clock at all.

Kansas City afforded the Titans extra opportunities early in the game, too, and not only on Tennessee’s first touchdown drive. After the Chiefs cut their deficit to 10-7, the defense stuck the Titans with a third-and-22. Tennessee settled for a 10-yard pass to set up a short field goal, but a pass interference penalty on cornerback Bashaud Breeland gifted a free first down to Tennessee. The Titans scored a touchdown five plays later to stretch their lead back to 10.

Ultimately, Mahomes was too much for the Titans with three passing touchdowns and a rushing touchdown. The Chiefs sure tried their best to give the Titans a shot, though — and they can’t shoot themselves in the foot like that in the Super Bowl against the 49ers and expect to win.

2. The Packers’ buttfumble perfectly summed up their day

Green Bay did not have its best game in the NFC Championship Game on Sunday, especially early on. The Packers fell behind 17-0 and looked completely out of sync on both sides of the ball.

In the second quarter, they started finding a rhythm on offense. Aaron Rodgers hit Jake Kumerow for a 23-yard gain, then four straight runs from Aaron Jones got Green Bay to the San Francisco 25-yard line.

That’s when the Packers promptly fumbled away their first real chance to score. It was even a butt fumble of sorts — Rodgers lost the ball while trying to take the snap from under his center’s backside:

Here's what happened on the fumble, Rodgers couldn't grab the snap cleanly from the Center.pic.twitter.com/GFMxyKDTPK

— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) January 20, 2020

Not only that, but Rodgers was then left staring at his own fumble rather than trying to retrieve it. The 49ers added a field goal after the turnover and later went into halftime leading 27-0.

That fumble really set the tone for the entire game, for Rodgers in particular. Sure, he may have finished with 326 passing yards and a pair of touchdowns, but he was also beat up by the 49ers defense. By the time the final whistle blew, he’d been sacked three times for an amazing -30 yards. He also threw two interceptions and put the ball on the turf three times (only losing the buttfumble).

On the plus side, he did leave us with a game recap that can be roughly summed up with a single image.

1. What in the world were the Titans’ defenders doing on this Patrick Mahomes TD run?

Mahomes is mostly known for his otherworldly arm, but his legs delivered Sunday’s biggest highlight — and a play that was the turning point of the Chiefs’ 35-24 win over the Titans.

His 27-yard touchdown run with 11 seconds left the second quarter gave his team a 21-17 lead right before halftime and all the momentum that came with it. It was a brilliant improvised play from last year’s MVP.

And it wouldn’t have been possible if Tennessee’s tackling hadn’t been SO BAD.

Is it me or does Patrick Mahomes look downright bored while he burns the Titans for a rushing TD? I love it. pic.twitter.com/Y322B2Ga3h

— James Brady (@JamesBradySBN) January 19, 2020

First, linebacker Derick Roberson missed Mahomes’ ankle before he turned upfield. Then, linebacker Rashaan Evans tackled air instead of the QB. On Mahomes’ way into the end zone, cornerback Tramaine Brock essentially helped him spin across the goal line for a TD, with DaQuan Jones helplessly trying to dive at Mahomes:

Tramaine Brock (no. 35) spun Patrick Mahomes right out of what would have been a big hit and helped clear his path to the end zone pic.twitter.com/lytBDKZQVr

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) January 19, 2020

Of course, it’s hard to defend Mahomes when he does something ridiculous like this. But Tennessee’s defense probably wishes it could get that play back — the Chiefs never trailed again.

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torentialtribute · 5 years

Text

Porto U19s 3-1 Chelsea U19s: Porto win the UEFA Youth League Final

Chelsea hopes to win a third UEFA Youth League title was interrupted by a streetwise Porto, who rightly won the crown for the first

The restorative forces of the Blues in this competition this season were exceptional, but Porto simply would not be injured in the Dinamo Zagreb and Barcelona were in earlier rounds. seems likely when Daishawn Redan closed Fabio Vieira & # 39; s opener early in the second half, but Porto simply kicked into another gear. Fabio Vieira of Porto drives away in party after scoring the opening goal of the match "

] Fabio Vieira of Porto drives away in party after scoring the opening goal of the match"

Fabio Vieira of Porto runs away in celebration after scoring the opening goal of the game

<img id = "i-6a214d226370c20f" src = "https://dailym.ai/2LbCwcg" height = "423" width = "634" alt = "Porto midfielder Fabio Vieira celebrates scoring the first goal of his team with his teammates "class =" blkBorder img-share "

Porto midfielder Fabio Vieira celebrates scoring the first goal of his team with his teammates "goal with his teammates

The teams were not equal at 1 -1 for long, as Diogo Queiros soon brought Porto back to the lead

CONTEST FACTS

Oporto (4-4-2): Coast; Esteves, Queiros (c), Leite, Lopes; Mario (Sousa 63), Ndiaye, Vieira (Ferreira 71), Torres; Silva, Baro

Takang, Meixedo, Matos, Borges, Justiniano

Objectives: Vieira (17), Queiros (55)), Sousa (75)

Chelsea : Ziger; Colley, Guehi, Maatsen; Lamptey (Brown 76), Gilmour, McEachran, Gallagher (Anjorin 76), Castle; Redan, McCormick (c)

Redan (53) Tie, Lavinier, Mola, Lawrence, Nunn

minutes after they were eliminated at the back to allow Diogo Queiros to restore Porto's lead. A third broke up, finished by Afonso Sousa, gave the Portuguese side a margin of victory few could argue with.

It meant further disappointment for Chelsea & # 39; s under-19 team after losing 3-0 last year to Barcelona, and they

Well, it's time to move to the Under-18 Premier League to go, Chelsea's next cohort of children will have to hope for the first team of Maurizio Sarri

It was left to the players of Porto to celebrate for dozens of noisy Ultras that had made the journey to Switzerland, their ceaseless singing and

For example, the cold Alpine wind that blew over the Stade Colovray, Chelsea & Tariq Lamptey and Conor Gallagher went across the field in gloves, but it was already early frozen.

George McEachran of Chelsea tries to take the ball from Porto & # 39; s scorer Fabio Vieira McEachran or Chelsea tries to take the ball from Porto & # 39; s scorer Fabio Vieira

Chelsea's George McEachran tries to take the ball from Porto & # 39; s scorer Fabio Vieira

Chelsea & Tariq Lamptey in action against Porto & # 39; s goalkeeper Diogo Costa during the match "

Lamptey in action against Porto & # 39; s goalkeeper Diogo Costa during the match"

Chelsea & # 39; s Tariq Lamptey in action against Porto & # 39; s goalkeeper Diogo Costa during the match

<img id = "i-ef3b07bc74949d4f" src = "https: //i.dailymail .co.uk / 1s / 2019/04/29/17 / 12869232-6972965-image-a-11_1556556541661.jpg "height =" 351 "width =" 634 "alt =" Tariq Lamptey looks crisp [1 9459006]

<img id = "i-ef3b07bc74949d4f" src = "https://dailym.ai/2LfoXbE "height =" 351 "width =" 634 "alt =" Tariq Lamptey looks frustrated because Chelsea cannot fully come back in the game in the first half "

Tariq Lamptey looks frustrated out, because Chelsea can't get back in the game in the first half

While Marc Guehi was shooting diagonal strides from the middle half, Chelsea let Lamptey jump for 10 minutes twice behind the opening, his speed turned out to be too much for Tiago Lopes

The first time back, Lamptey & # 39; s low austerity

But Porto quickly snarled out and started to dominate. Gallagher put him in a decent position shot and a minute later there was a feeling of deja-vu when Luke McCormick hit the center of Lamptey from a similar range placed. the first half.

Joao Mario has wiped out Fabio Silva in the Chelsea box and the strike Karlo Ziger is a young man who scored his shot with a gaping goal. Ziger was able to recover and Chelsea was relieved.

They were not very lucky the next time. They retired in anticipation of an error awarded to Guehi in midfield, which allowed Angel Torres to get behind Ian Maatsen.

Torres moved into the box when Maatsen withdrew and the ball over the sixth yard box, Joseph Colley simply did not get the shout that Vieira was deliberately lurking behind him.

<img id = "i-16bcd594b7f527ea" src = "https://dailym.ai/2VCyI7J -6972965-image-a-15_1556557476473.jpg "height =" 364 "width =" 634 "alt =" Luke McCormick of Chelsea sees his shot saved by Porto & # 39; s goalkeeper Diogo Costa

[Chelsea] Luke McCormick sees his shot saved by Porto & # 39; s goalkeeper Diogo Costa

<img id = "i-5d4276f296e61641 "src =" https://dailym.ai/2LbCyko "height =" 423 "width =" 634 "alt = "<img id =" i-5d4276f296e61641 "src =" https://dailym.ai/2LbCyko "height =" 423 "width =" 634 "alt =" Chelsea managed to return to the game with a goal from Daishawn Redan

Chelsea did manage to come back in the game with a goal from Daishawn Redan

Chelsea suddenly looked fragile. The Porto bank was emptied when Silva fired up three minutes earlier and did it again to celebrate the lead. Joao Mario jumped to the left of the room, his shot was blocked by Ziger and another shot at Mario & # 39; s left foot whistled past the far post.

As half approached, Chelsea restored some balance, creating a succession of angles, with McCormick approaching a number of times.

However, their leveler did not come soon after the break.

Redan left the perfect position and goalkeeper Diogo Costa in the Niemendale games: Juan Castillo swung a cross from the side on the right and the Porto defenders came forward to play the ball backwards. land eight meters from its line.

But in exactly the same way as they had in the semi-final against Barcelona on Friday, Chelsea admitted again just a few minutes after parity was restored.

] dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/04/29/18/12869744-6972965-image-a-12_1556557468704.jpg "height =" 423 "width =" 634 "alt =" The Chelsea U19 work together for a team photo flat for the UEFA Youth League Final "<img id =" i-daecd094e3e4cec6 "src =" https://dailym.ai/2VzP7tF .jpg "height =" 423 "width =" 634 "alt =" <img id = "i-daecd094e3e4cec6" src = "https://dailym.ai/2IMOMh9 /18/12869744-6972965-image-a-12_1556557468704.jpg "height =" 423 "width =" 634 "alt =" for the UEFA youth competition final

<img id = " i-9aa9d14f952f3915 "src =" https://dailym.ai/2VxBRWh "height =" 423 "width =" 634 "alt =" The Porto U team 19 is preparing for a team photo just before the UEFA Youth League Final "class =" blkBorder img-share "

The team of Porto U19 is preparing for a team photo flat for the UEFA Youth League Final U19 team is preparing for a team photo just before the UEFA Youth League Final

Chelsea manager Joe Edwards examines his options for the final cup against Porto

Ziger had made a good response to denying Queers in the meantime but could do little about Porto & # 39; s

He managed to block a drilled effort from Mario, but hey It fell straight to Queiros who tied the ball home the second time he asked

was back on Chelsea to respond and they slowly increased the pressure. Castillo almost squirmed on goal, but was refused by the grinding stage of Diogo Leite.

Then Porto broke out quickly and grabbed a third. Chelsea & # 39; s defenders suddenly became a minority as Romario Baro moved the ball wide to Sousa.

The pair then exchanged passes in the Chelsea box again before Sousa hammered the ball through Ziger and near the post. ] Chelsea coach Joe Edwards immediately threw down the top shooter Charlie Brown and the usually dangerous Faustino Anjorin.

And although Billy tested Gilmour Coast with a long-term effort, there would be no miraculous comeback this time.

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anoppositioninterms-blog · 6 years

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I talk too much in the morning.

Every bloody morning.

This is a phrase that I have made up to encompass how it is to be me during what I call the “wake up” part of the day. It doesn’t always happen in the morning. Sometimes I sleep for up to 18 hours.

When I first begin to be aware of consciousness, my impulse is to get comfortable and immediately try to achieve sleep again. This doesn’t work eventually, I can’t climb back into the dream that was just here, and I begin to notice my surroundings.

Did you ever wonder what would have happened in your dream at that last moment? From what I hear, we are always waking up right before the dream transforms to reveal a truth, a question, or a sensible answer to the nonsense preceding. I think that most people bring themselves to consciousness attempting to shed the dream space immediately; only sometimes being haunted by fragments of dream memories when they really can’t shake some bizarre situation that does not compute. Or sometimes being reminded of way-too-personal story-lines that involve people or places that are so familiar, having been stirred up with sexuality and resentments in the dream space. I think this is normal. I think dreams exist in solid terms as a sort of “psyche trip” meant for everyone, an autonomous and natural process given to us by our minds, like seeing God at the moment of death. Dreams function to relive and release our fears or look forward to our futures with some sense of divinity. For most people, dreams leave tiny clues in our waking brains to remind us about what’s important, to make good decisions in bad circumstances, or to lead us on to more good experiences. For me however, my dreams are my Bible, they are my reason for existing, they are the only thing really worth analyzing or studying profusely, and they are preferred to being awake.

Climbing back into a dream can be a revelation. I believe I have seen that last moment, the untold truth, and the meaning behind the strange symbolism in my dreams, and remembered all the details. I attempt to do this by simply sustaining the dream space and pushing away my blooming half-conscious state as the world attempts to wake me each day. Not to be confused with “conscious dreaming”. This is not a learned behavior, it has always come completely naturally to me. It has remained a quality of mine even though it definitely hinders my experience of waking life and my participation in it. Its not always easy to stay in a dream, the subconscious has its own realm and it does not allow me to mix in any reality. If I start to analyze or take control, it ceases to be, and not only that, it will vaporize from my mind, like a mist retreating from a harbor in the morning, and I will forget almost all of it. I like to wake up slowly. Quietly. Slipping back into wakefulness with my eyes still turned inward, uninterrupted by anything too brashly real. Then I remember the whole dream. Which seems to be one of the main reasons I have for being awake at all.

If for some reason I am not able to remain in that space for the extra dream-time it takes to get the message of the dream, I am angry with myself. I struggle throughout the day to remember parts of the dream, drawing pictures and trying to piece the events together. I feel disappointed and confused for the remainder of the day, having not completed this important task with success.

Again, this is not a rule I have memorized, it is a state of being. An occurrence of a neurosis in me that acts as an imperative to understand and disseminate the meaning of my dreams.

When you see your whole dream strait though to the end and it becomes an operatic parody of itself screaming its message with the wildest images and language in those moments of over-sleep, this makes an impression. I often feel like I have analyzed the meaning of the dream near the moment of waking, since I got the see the end of the story. I also wake up feeling like my real life body has experienced whatever happened in the dream.

I wake up out of breath often, with an elevated heart rate. I am flushed and my skin feels warm and clammy. My legs and hips are sore, as if I’ve been running, or hung upside down by my ankles. I am usually fairly soaked with sweat; being wet when you wake up is uncomfortable: I feel cold, stuck to the bedding, and filthy. My limbs feel itchy and sometimes I leave long red scratches on my legs. My mind is sometimes spinning with whatever I interpreted as the meaning of my dream, and if my “wake up” was not slow and quiet as I prefer, my mind is also spinning with thoughts of what this day will hold and what didn’t get completed yesterday.

When I get out of bed, I immediately get dressed. I’ve discovered that if I take a short shower in the morning, this aids all the symptoms above, but I am seldom capable of it. I wake up scared. The best way to protect myself in the immediate future is to be dressed and ready for whatever I am terrified of. When I was homeless for a short while, a defense I developed was the getting dressed quickly, or staying dressed, so as to be ready for whatever was inevitably coming. The habit stuck. Even though I could get dressed in anything I want any day of the week now, it remains an important habit to have those clothes thought out, ready, and laid out very near the sleeper. Better yet I found, was to put on clean clothes before bed, then they were ready for the morning, or the middle of the night, or whenever wakefulness thrust itself upon me.

I suffer from something known as “sleep drunkenness” occasionally. I usually feel irritable by the time the clothes are on, but sometimes I am plain monstrous in the morning for about ten minutes or so. Sometimes I am pathetic, and tears will come. I say things I don’t mean. I stumble and stomp. I upset my family.

Through my irritation, I take my mental health medications and smoke a cigarette, by the time that’s done, I usually feel a bit better. I make tea or drink coffee. Eating seems like the absolute wrong thing to do.

I should mention: another helpful thing to get through this brief period of discomfort in the morning is my lovely kitty cat. I have gotten her into the habit of being combed and pampered near when I wake, so she is always happy to see me on a rough morning. My partner brings me a coffee in the morning and this is reason to get up as well. I am a hedonist at my worst moments, and anything that makes me feel good is welcome.

And then, or I should say now, being the last several years, a curious thing happens. I begin talking.

When this began, it was always of my worst experiences, echoing what my dreams were repeating to me over and over for years. I was speaking out loud the things that made me feel insecure, unaccepted, things that ruined me financially, ruined my health, took away my humanity. This regurgitation of my least favorite times seemed right to me at the time. It was like a lesser version of the me who believed she had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (now called by the doctors only Unresolved Trauma). This symptom I call “being looped” where you relive your worst experiences in your head and out your mouth to the point that you can think of nothing else; for years this appeared to be my whole reason for talking at all. Just having this happen in the morning was a little better than having that be the whole of me.

Those horrible experiences always make a comeback in my words as an example, as a worst case scenario, as a constant backing or proof for all my discourse and perhaps my existence, and I assume this quality may always remain. With my words and my experiences, I can not only absolve myself of my head-space by vomiting it out, but trick others into thinking I’m tough - that I’ve seen things, and that I was there; that I was everywhere bad and felt everything that was bad. I know it’s become something of a habit that makes me seem crude at times, low, “crazy”, or just a constant victim.

But now I just talk too much in the mornings. It must drive my partner crazy. If I am a little more capable, I remember to write or draw instead of using someone’s face as a confession booth. Its as if I have so much to process in the morning that I simply can’t do it on my own. The obvious question of why do I have more to process in the morning than others, who simply think of what kind of hair day it will be or whether or not work will be this or that; this is not something that I can answer easily. The best answer I can give is that it simply hurts to be awake most of the time if I’m not involved in some form of escapism, many of these forms being healthy habits, like yoga and art. The reality I built myself is complicated and at times insufficient, sure, but this is typical. Having Generalized Anxiety Disorder is wanting to escape. My dreams are not better than real life, being fraught with dangers, difficult journeys, uncomfortable interactions, etcetera, but I feel like I really “get something out of” them. They tell me things that are helpful. They are focused on me. My dreams are a selfish mirror that is always inviting me gently to look at something I have a have a sort of pretend dominion over, my psyche. My dreams are my only spirituality, my only prognostication, my only hint of what the meaning of life is, or what is to come. Reality and my waking life are most enjoyable to me when I feel like “I am on my path.” Those moments when I have a feeling of Deja-Vu, when I meet someone unexpectedly that I want to see anyway, or when I find a five dollar bill on the ground when I needed bus fare on a cold day. When I feel like I am being pointed in the right direction by experiences that are partly good. But this happens so infrequently. There are so many days that go by where I wonder before sleep why I exist at all.

The things I talk about really vary now. I might start spouting about politics, or something easier to hear like gardening or cooking. I might start degrading a friend or relative, only to talk in a circle until I’ve dismissed what I started to say. I might talk about the film I watched last night, remembering all the details vividly and comparing them accurately to other arts. I might un-assuredly start to try to discuss gender or race in delicate terms, as a way of understanding the times and the people more effectively. Whatever mental unwinding I have to do, I do it first thing in the morning, and I am usually best spoken at this time, though the topics are always questionable. Sometimes I talk about things I have no business talking about. This process seems to be somewhat necessary to getting on with the morning. While I am finishing that coffee or tea, I am spouting facts and feelings and expecting a response, whether it makes me late for my day or not. It is another trait on a list of things that I do not do because I scheduled them or because they make sense, but because I have to.

I wake up soaked, sore, scared, and wishing I was still asleep. Being chatty is not the worst of the whole package of the “wake up” for me personally, but it may be the remaining trait that still belies to others what I am. A person who has recovered. A person who is still recovering from hating life, every bloody morning.

#emo anxiety blog art

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allthingstailoredlive-blog · 7 years

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Top 35 Albums of 2016

I’ve heard several different people argue that 2016 was where the music matched the of our newly elected President: trash. While there were a fair share of tepid releases, there were even more gems and masterpieces released as well. It marked the comeback of some major industry icons, the big break from some under the radar talents, and the domination of a legend. Below you will find my ranking for the top thirty-five albums of 2016. Feel free to comment with your opinions and feedback.

35. Ariana Grande, “Dangerous Woman” — Not quite on level with her first two studio albums, D.W. takes some risks where Grande has yet to explore. While standouts “Sometimes”, “Touch It”, and “Leave Me Lonely (featuring Macy Gray) are true delights, her transition falls short on tracks such as the unconvincing “Bad Decisions”, the overdrawn”I Don’t Care”, and the overrated radio-tune gem that is “Side to Side”. The album is probably the most evident of all of her releases that she is still trying to find her own sound, though there are some delights along her journey.

34. Shy Glizzy, “Young Jefe 2” — One of the most anticipated projects in the urban market was “Young Jefe 2” from Shy Glizzy. While ultimately the work doesn’t offer many full length tunes that enable you to crave it, it does suffice as a guilty hip-hop pleasure for 2016. Gems such as “Waiting on My Time”, “Rounds”, and “How It Go” prove that the rhymer can spit real life lyrics aligned with versatile concepts — a rarity amongst his generation’s peers.

33. Meghan Trainor, “Thank You” — Trainor’s sophomore release continued her trend of radio friendly pop tunes (“No”, “Me Too”), with some lavish, soul ballads (“Champagne Problems, “I Won’t Let You Down”) proving she why she continues to evolve as an artist. The standout track of the album is the median between these two styles, “Hopeless Romantic”, which has single written all over it. While the album didn’t exceed expectations in terms of sounds, it provides curiosity to what may come of her work in the future.

32. Childish Gambino, “Awaken My Love” — Another highly anticipated album in the hip-hop community came from Mr. Gambino. Riding high off of the success of his television show, “Atlanta”, he couldn’t have released new music at a greater time. Rich in sounds for the eerie and dramatic, the album takes an alternative route than that of “Because The Internet” album, while still focusing on real life centered lyrical content.

31. Blake Shelton, “If I’m Honest” — Adding to controversy this past year was the ever-blossoming relationship between superstars Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton. Sparking his album was about the relationship, the ‘honest’ approach behind the album lived up to expectations in a raw, yet predictable approach to his usual content. While a pleasant listen for Shelton fans, doesn’t overly add to the drama or impact of his relationship with Stefani.

30. Fifth Harmony, “7/27″ — One of the greater surprises this year was the quality behind pop girl-group, Fifth Harmony”. Riding off of the success of their single, “Worth It”, the group quickly capitalized with a sophomore release, leading to their second top-ten single, “Work From Home”. The album dances with balladry with the reflective standout, “Write On Me”, and showcases superstar powers with tracks “Flex (All In My Head)” and “Not That Kinda Girl” featuring Fetty Wap and Missy Elliot respectively.

29. John Legend, “Darkness and Light” — 2014 was the biggest year of John Legend’s career. It took him to new heights after being in the music business for a decade. Taking his time to properly carve out his next release to the world, “Darkness and Light” shed ‘light’ on where he planned to go next. While the lead single, “Love Me Now”, is a slight departure from his adult-contemporary work that has followed his career, the majority of the album sticks to typical John Legend formula. The tracks “Overload” and “Penthouse Floor”, are singles waiting to dominate urban radio, with the assistance of Miguel and Chance The Rapper respectively.

28. Miranda Lambert, “The Weight of These Wings” — One of the most consistent workers in country music is without a doubt Miranda Lambert. It isn’t just because she releases new music, but she releases QUALITY good music. Need proof? Listen to these cuts from the album: “Vices”, “We Should Be Friends”, and “Smoking Jacket”.

27. Shawn Mendes, “Illuminate” — For his sophomore release, Mr. Mendes further embellished in the sound that made him a hit with young teens the year prior: heartwarming ballads and luscious tunes to churn. Lead by the single “Treat You Better”, you’ll learn early that no single on the record quite tops that one, or that of “Stitches” from yesteryear; but that doesn’t mean you won’t find pleasant listens such as “Patience” and album-opener, “Ruin.

26. Post Malone, “Stoney” — After creating quite the buzz with “White Iverson” earlier in the year, Malone’s first full length album proved that he could handle the pressures of a new release. The album luckily doesn’t focus so much on the mainstream style that it’s lead single invokes, but that doesn’t say that it lacks appeal either. The Justin Bieber assisted “Deja Vu” is one of the albums greatest gems, while listeners will surely find plenty more worth vibing to.

25. Kid Cudi, “Passion, Pain & Demon Slaying” — It has been an interestingly rocky past few years for Kid Cudi. His personal life has been not just bait for the tabloids, but also for fellow rappers (just ask Drake). Luckily, that hasn’t stopped his abilities to produce a consistent album worth waiting for. Lead by singles “Frequency” and “Surfin”, the album would return Cudi to the sound that made him one of the leaders of the alternative rap game. Drawing inspiration from his first album, the album is broken into chapters. Standouts include “Swim In The Light”, “Baptized In Fire”, and “Cosmic Warrior”.

24. Usher, “Hard II Love”–It had been an overwhelming four years since Usher last blessed our ears with his music. Moreover, for his traditional, old-school Usher fans, it had been well past that since they had received music that they were satisfied with. Despite your opinion on what his past had produced, his current was a steady body of work. The lead single, “No Limit”, showed fans the the veteran still could deliver an urban radio gem. As for his slow jams, “Missin U” and “Tell Me”, prove he can still sing effortlessly amongst the records in his prime. Welcome back, Usher!

23. Britney Spears, “Glory” — To this date, Britney hasn’t been able to find a sound or album that recreates the magic of ‘Oops…’ or ‘Britney’, and critics don’t let her forget it. For “Glory”, Britney let go of those antics and simply focusing on the music. From start to finish, this album easily produces Britney’s finest collection of songs in over a decade. The songs, with the exception of the lackluster “Private Show”, display an album that is a full body of work, starting with the standout “Invitation” and its effortless transition into the G-Easy featured single, “Make Me”. Britney also ventures into new sounds with the reggae-sexy “Love Me Down” and “Slumber Party”, and delivers sonic perfection on the edgy “Liar”. If there’s any doubt to whether or not teen-pop’s most prized possession still has it eighteen years later, listen to “Glory”.

22. Alicia Keys, “Here” — It’s hard to believe Alicia Keys has been around for sixteen years. Unfortunately, for her past few releases, it has been somewhat apparent. That changed with 2016’s defiant “Here”. The album follows no current trends whatsoever, not even that of her own past works. The album is complete with conversations and interludes to transition between the different songs. Keys confidently displays her message through rap-styled delivery, playing with the apparent change in her vocals in an array of different manners. The true gem of the entire album comes in the form of lyrically, musically, and delivery is an absolute masterpiece: “Illusion of Bliss”.

21. Fantasia, “The Definition of…” — In search of a new-retro style sound, Fantasia produced what was a complete sleeper of the year. With production that perfectly blends with her rasp and power, the entire album gradually progresses and telling a story: the definition of the woman who is Fantasia, and not just the artist. She experiments as well with more gospel-tingled tracks, with a surprising cameo from Tye Tribette, and country music with the daring “Ugly”. Standouts include “No Time For It”, “When I Met You”, and “Sleeping With the One I Love”.

20. Travis $cott, “Birds in the Trap Sing McKnight” — Alternative rap has become a popular sound and trend in current music. No one currently showcases this with such mastery the way that Travis $cott does. His second full-length album showcases his versatility as a producer, as an lyricist, and as a storyteller. Features aside, he holds his own on the same track as Kendrick Lamar in standout, “Goosebumps”. If this album is any indication, expect to see many more great moments from Mr. Scott.

19. Rihanna, “Anti” — The first major release of 2016 came from Rih-Rih herself. Lead by her historic number-one single, “Work”, the album shows why Rihanna continues to dominate the music scene. The album features some of her absolute finest ballads (“Love on the Brain”, “Same Ol’ Mistakes”), and her at her absolute finest (“Needed Me”, “Kiss it Better”). While in some tracks its evident she should not reach of showcasing vocality, such as “Higher”, the album is still a solid welcome. See the full review for this album available on a separate page.

18. A Tribe Called Quest, “We got it from Here…Thank You 4 Your service” — An as a formal goodbye from one of the most acclaimed hip-hop groups to ever grace a microphone, A Tribe Called Quest blessed listeners with this cry for nostalgia. While not their finest body of work, it easily outpaces many of the releases from today’s rappers with its underlying messages, intellect, and assertive abrasion. To name just a few standouts, would take away from the overall message of the album so I’ll suggest to start with “The Space Program” and end with “The Donald”.

17. Metallica, “Hardwire…To Self Destruct” — There is no discussion on the greatest in heavy metal, without the inclusion of Metallica. After an eight year gap between this and their most recent work, this album proves why they should still be included in the discussion. The title track, “Hardwired”, speaks volumes for itself and sets the pace for a hard hitting album that rocks on all the way through.

16. Maxwell, “BlackSUMMERS’night” — Seven years is too long of a gap for what we need and deserve from Maxwell. He is such a gift to music. Changing the presentation of the title from his last effort, Maxwell reminds audiences why we fell in love with his last collection of greatness. The lead single, “Lake by the Ocean”, was just a sampler of an infectious collision of gems. The opener, “All The Ways Love Can Feel”, I would argue as one of the greatest songs of the entire year. If you’re looking for Maxwell at his finest, listen to the track “Hostage”, which is the perfect median from his last two albums. In entirety, the album is genius and draws large anticipation for where he will take listeners in the final installment of this trilogy.

15. Common, “Black America Again” — In the midst of the drama that is the election, Common produced one of the greatest odes to Black America in recent memory. From the cover art, to his HBCU campaign via social media, Common’s message was clear. And his album did not fall short of displaying that genius in work. The album’s closing track, “Letter to the Free”, is a perfect depiction and ending message to advocate for the message presented in a defiant, bold album worthy of its acclaim.

14. Lady Gaga, “Joanne” — One of the most overlooked projects from 2016 is the newest release from Lady Gaga. Known for her bold, daring pop creations, Joanne is one of her most personal releases to date and matches up with some of her best work. The lead single, “Perfect Illusion”, builds off of the successes that her former lead singles have seen in style and structure, but the remainder of the album explores the core of the pop star, revealing a side that’s been masked over the years. “Million Reasons” is one of her best singles to dates because the lyrics and power of her singing speak alone free of overproduced synths. “Grigio Girls”, “Hey Girl”, and “Angel Down” prove why she’s one of the greatest songwriters of her generation.

13. Jeezy, “Trap or Die 3” — A veteran to the rap game, Jeezy has seen many commercial successes. After experimenting with different arenas of rap, he returns to his roots: trap music. On an album that is feature heavy, Jeezy pulls his own weight with some of the most well thought out bars of his entire career. The production is also amongst his finest on an album from start to finish. While every track stands out for its own reason, “Sexe (feat. Plies)”, “Ain’t Bout That”, and “Pretty Diamonds (feat. Chris Brown)” confirms he is back in his element of trapping behind the microphone.

12. J. Cole, “4 Your Eyes Only” — Similar to the release of his last effort, “4 Your Eyes Only” follows the low-promotion approach to music rollout in attempt to let the music speak for himself. While the effort doesn’t surpass that of either of his two more recent works, it does suffice as a diligent listen. “Deja Vu” and “Folding Clothes” are standouts on an album that presents Cole focusing more on consistency than progression.

11. “The Hamilton Mixtape” — Released in the last month of the year, “The Hamilton Mixtape” is the epitome of nostalgia. As a compilation set comprised for the Broadway spectacle of the same name, this album does something that is a rarity amongst even the greatest of soundtracks (Titanic, the Bodyguard), sound like one cohesive body of work. Every song speaks its own story and brings to life the drama behind the Broadway production. The soundtrack is truly a well-vested production worthy of listening.

10. Sia, “This is Acting” — Long before she was a pop star herself, she was a critically acclaimed songwriter. For her most recent release, Sia’s primary interest was to showcase her skills as a seasoned, talented songwriter. Though the album is deeply regarded as being “impersonal”, it is very much an album true to its concrete form: a concept album. “Cheap Thrills” was such a gem that half it made folks realize Sia actually had an album out. Her genius collaboration with Kendrick Lamar is another stand out from the album and the title speaks for the record itself: “The Greatest”.

9. Drake, “Views” — Even if you have lived under a rock for the last year, you can recite the melody to “Hotline Bling”. You can recall the splendor that was “One Dance”. And you most certainly can’t state that you haven’t heard the radio banger that was “Controlla”. But the greatest moments on Views are the album cuts. While the album is definitely not a step forward creatively from any of his previous works, it is a steady median for those looking to become in tact with the Drake that was present on “Take Care” and “Nothing Was The Same”. The best song of the entire album is without a doubt the collaboration with Rihanna, “Too Good”, which is the perfect combination of radio and depth. Other standouts include “Redemption”, “Faithful”, and “Fire & Desire”. This is definitely not Drake’s finest hour, but it is without a doubt a steady worthwhile listen that defined 2016.

8. The Weeknd, “Starboy” — “Starboy” was one of the most anticipated albums of the entire year. In a way that many folks I’m sure didn’t expect, it delivered. For those hoping for more of The Weeknd that was on his earlier works, you are going to be disappointed. As evident in the singles from “Beauty Behind The Madness”, The Weeknd wants to continue to evolve as a pop-artist, following his inspiration behind Michael Jackson. That is present the most in album closer and second single, “I Feel it Coming”. Not only is the style reminiscent of Michael’s “Off The Wall” era balladry, but the way that he coos confirms the influence Michael had on his career. That doesn’t say that the record doesn’t include the more edgier tracks, the uncredited feature of Future on “Six Feet Under”, “Party Monster”, “Reminder”, and “Sidewalks (feat. Kendrick Lamar)” provide satisfaction. The album’s finest moments come in the form of the mid-tempo ballads, “True Colors” and “Die For You”, both combining the elements of alternative pop and soulful hip-hop.

7. Solange, “A Seat at the Table” — The perfect title for the perfect arrival of a superstar. Solange has spent majority of her career living in the shadow of her sister’s successes, but not letting any of that define her. She has made music that she believes in and that is just as relatable; it just never quite came all the way together for the masses. And then, there was “A Seat at the Table”. Easily one of the year’s most compelling stories, Solange flawlessly crafts real emotion with theatric, yet understated melodies capped off with slick, seductive production. Every single song and the interludes that coincide tell an intimate story, one worth indeed having a seat at the table to listen to. The interludes don’t at all feel forced together, as they are very reminiscent of vintage Janet Jackson styled-albums. As if “Cranes in the Sky” itself isn’t the gem of gems for the year, also listen to “Borderline”, “Mad”, “Where Do We Go”, and “Don’t Touch My Hair”, and it is clear that we have clearly overlooked a genius, star. Lets hope 2017 more tables are provided for us to have seats at.

6. Kanye West, “The Life of Pablo” — Mental state aside, there’s no arguing when Kanye puts his mind to the studio, fire ensues. ‘Pablo’ is no different. From start to finish, it is obvious that Mr. West has a story to tell, as present in the album’s first song, “Ultralight Beam”. The Rihanna-assisted “Famous” is an ode to controversy in the months that have followed it’s initial release. “Waves” and “Wolves” are also standouts where the production does take control, but not in a way thats overbearing; its very welcoming. While many may argue that many of the songs seem unfinished and a work in progress, the progression is what makes the album that much more enticing and satisfying to the ears. It allows you as a listener to create assumptions and do your own storytelling, which is the goal of any true author and songwriter. For what it’s worth, ‘Pablo’ is an example of Classic Kanye doing Classic Kanye. If you still need proof, just listen to the interlude “Old Kanye”.

5. Frank Ocean, “Blonde/Endless” — The most anticipated record of 2014, 2015, and 2016 was “Boys Don’t Cry” by Frank Ocean. Instead we got “Blonde” and “Endless”, two separate cohesive bodies of work. So why are they ranked together? While “Endless” is one visual gem put together, a la Prince, it serves as a teaser for what could come on a grander stage. That grander stage belongs to “Blonde”. It is hard to even put Frank into a genre, as he just yearns to be someone who continues to excel to new heights with his lyrics, his ad-libs, his harmonizing, and his production. “Nikes” is the perfect opener to those experiencing curiosity to Ocean’s style and sound. “Pink + White”, “Solo”, and “Self Control” present the vulnerable aspect of being alone, uncertain, and most of all of worth. “Blonde” not only serves as one of the greatest musical releases, it is one of the releases that absolutely defined 2016.

4. Kendrick Lamar, “untitled unmastered.” — Most albums that are put together of unreleased work feel uninspired. There’s not a universal element that brings them all together musically. It is a compilation of songs that were deemed unworthy for the album released at the time of the recording. There is something remotely different about Kendrick Lamar’s version. Weirdly enough, every “leftover” track is a complete gem in its own realm. And for the records to me unmastered, there’s a sense of nostalgia that binds them altogether to where they seem to be all influenced from the same creative vision. Or, perhaps that is why Lamar selected these records — because there was a commonality that he found when listening to them. Whatever the method in discovering the potential in each of the songs, the end product was one of genius. For a man who has been robbed of his full critical accolades, maybe this serves as a teaser for what is to become in 2017. All I know is if this is what leftover tracks from the past few years look like, I fear what the ones we have yet to see released behold.

3. Bruno Mars, “24K Magic” — One of the last releases of the year was Mar’s third studio album. While the title track/lead single follows the formula that took “Uptown Funk” to #1 in 2015, the remainder of the album ventures more into rap-sung gems that bring the soul of the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s all to 2016. And unlike his counterparts, Bruno is fully capable of belting out the finest vocals right along with his cliche songwriting and divine production. “That’s What I Like” is the ultimate not-so-subtle invitation to romance that radios will be eating up in 2017. Meanwhile, “Versace on the Floor” is an infectious ballad dedicated to that special person for an anniversary, birthday occasion. If you’re looking to dance, get lost in the new-jack styled “Finesse”, which could’ve easily fit in on your parent’s wedding reception playlist in the 1980s. With assistance from Halle Berry, “Calling All My Lovelies” steals the show with a melody that flirts with the assumption that “all men cheat”. However, Mars puts up quite the dissertation to defend his actions. And if you’re looking for the churning of classics like “Just The Way You Are” and “When I Was Your Man”, the album’s closer, “Too Good To Say Goodbye” is a complete tear-jerker. Written and produced with the legendary Babyface, the song sounds directly out of the soundtrack to all of your favorite 90’s love stories. For a man who had many doubts about releasing an album that met everyone’s expectations, I think its safe to say Mars has completely exceeded them with the strongest release from any male vocalist of the year.

2. Beyonce, “Lemonade” — ‘You can taste the dishonesty/its all over you breath/as you pass it off so cavalier” coos Mrs. Carter with destain and restrain on the album’s opener, “Pray You Catch Me”. Speculation aside from what influenced the album, Beyonce took us to a place creatively she probably didn’t even think existed. After the slay that was her self-titled fifth studio album and the records it broke, what more was there for her to do? “Lemonade” answers that question with a short film and album that tell the story of woman’s journey back to happiness after being scorn by a lover. It is not an easy journey, just see rock-infused “Don’t Hurt Yourself” or the piano-driven “Sandcastles”. But that doesn’t say the album doesn’t have some fun moments as well; the-IDGAF “Sorry” dominated radio, the reggae “Hold Up” is everyone woman scorn’s first thought, and “6 Inch” is the perfect half-time performance before going back to love and heartbreak. The absolute showstopper, however, is “Freedom”, the rebellious anthem that adds the expertise of Kendrick Lamar. For an artist who has already achieved so many things musically, Beyonce once again cemented her legacy as a legend in this business with arguably the strongest album of her career.

Chance The Rapper, “Coloring Book” — While technically speaking, this was a mixtape and not an album, Chance has officially marked his presence as the future of all music. For an artist who isn’t signed and in control of his own music, he very meticulously crafted the best project of 2016 hands down. From start to finish, the entire project manages to color in the lines and never blur outside of them. The 2 Chains/Lil’Wayne assisted “No Problem” was an absolute juggernaut and still remains a massive hit. But that’s not it, there are so many things to be gained from his record. What he’s able to do perhaps more than any other project released in 2016 is produce an album that feels real and relatable from start to finish. The standout, “Same Drugs”, holds a double meaning. It derives not only from the literal content of the lyrics, but also as a metaphor for reaching new heights professionally and personally from fame and how it causes you to adjust in your life. The sexy “Juke Jam” reminds you of the days of early, dangerous infatuation as you began to understand your hormones. “All Night” should’ve been the highlight of every radio station this fall, and even though it didn’t, it certainly was a playlist favorite for everyone’s functions. To continue on a tangent and attempt to identify just a few stand outs would’ve be a crime as this ENTIRE album from start to finish. And it is evident with his commercial, endorsements, and appearances everywhere the Chance isn’t going anywhere or going to sellout anytime soon. 2017 will be a big year for Chance, with the hope all the recognition he deserves takes him to new mainstream heights. Until then, we have “Coloring Book” and every color properly merged on every page to depict the future of music for years to come, as long as Chance the Rapper is our author.

Here’s to more gems in 2017. Feel free to drop your comments and feedback below.

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