#don't ask why that's attractive idk how yo explain

[lottiecrabie]

I fear this new line cook! matty content is driving me to a point of no return... the asylum is calling me rn

why does the concept of a more greasy, gross and depraved matty turn me on MORE? like the concept of being younger (but not so young it's weird cmon now, no nonce vibes) and him corrupting you... YUP!!!!

do you have any concept on how it all starts? my brain goes to you need the extra money and host! Adam needs someone to stay late one night and clean, so he asks if you'll do it. you reluctantly agree bc you really need the cash but think you're alone in the restaurant so you have music full blast whilst cleaning and eventually from behind you hear "nice music taste sweetheart would've have guessed you were a - fan" (I can't think of an appropriate musician rn so you fill in the blank.) Obviously you scream and turn around to see sweaty and slightly gross (but unbelievably attractive) line cook matty leaning on the door into the kitchen with a lazy smirk on his face.

one thing leads to another, and you eventually start chatting and are sitting at a table across from each other when he pulls his cigs out and goes, "you don't mind if I smoke in here right love?" and you get all shy and embarrassed and say "no no it's fine... I've never actually smoked a cigarette before, you know?" and this is just like catnip to him bc GOD you're so innocent and cute. you ask to try one if thats okay but he doesn't want you hurting your pure lungs so says "okay sweetheart how about this, instead of you getting your own one and hurting those pretty lungs, let me shotgun you" he then has to explain what shotgunning is bc you're just that new to everything and he's trying to deny in his mind that it makes you even hotter.

he pats the chair next to him and says, "come and sit here babe, it'll be easier." so you shyly get up and shuffle over whilst matty tries not to obsess over how sweet you smell and how short your skirt is riding up your thighs. "I'm gonna take a drag, and then as I breathe out the smoke, you're going to breathe it in. can you do that sweetheart?" obviously completely enthralled by this hot guy teaching you how to smoke you nod and shuffle closer saying "okay" and matty has to close his eyes and force himself to breathe bc of how soft and innocent you sounded. he takes a drag and grabs the back of your head, and out of instinct you grab the his arm and lean in. as he breathes out, you breathe in with a shy smile on your face. he stops and says, "good job baby, now breathe it into your lungs a little... there you go, good girl, " and if you weren't already coughing and spluttering from trying to inhale, that comment would have made you do it anyway.

you do that a couple more times, and then your phone is vibrating on the table. you look and say "shit it's 11pm already?? my roommate was expecting me home hours ago. oh god I've gotta go" you start grabbing everything and then suddenly freeze. matty notices and is like "love? everything okay?" and you sigh and go "not exactly... I forgot Sam (a fellow waitress idk) was my lift home and I can't walk home at this time. I don't know what to do" and matty being the gentleman he is says "don't worry baby ill give you a lift" you stare at him slightly anxious but so excited at the concept of more time with him in a smaller space and go "really matty?" and he just scoffs and goes "of course love, what kind of bloke would I be leaving a pretty young girl like you stranded huh?"

you get his car and tell him your address, he goes to turn the ignition and the car backfires (idk if that's how it actually works I cannot drive lmao) so obviously you jump and he instinctively puts his hand on your thigh and goes "its okay darling just the car warming up don't worry" you just nod with a red face trying not to overthink the fact that he's touching you and keep a straight face. matty sees right through you so keeps his hand there, takes it off to change gears and puts it right back to see you get re-flustered everytime.

eventually you get to your place and he walks you to your door you say "really thank you again I appreciate it" and he's like "it's okay I'm glad you're home safe" . not wanting to be too creepy, he goes in to kiss your cheek but in some bold confidence boost you turn and kiss him on the lips. he shoots back and looks at you and starts to say "look love i-" but when he looks back at you with your lips slightly parted and they're red and puffy and you're looking up at him with doe eyes he can't help himself so he just goes back in full force groaning and how soft your lips are and how sweet you taste when he licks in your mouth. it gets hot and heavy pretty quick, so out of breath from kissing matty asks "now where did that come from angel? what happened to the pretty little thing who didn't know what shogunning was huh?" and giggling you respond with assured nods and sarcastically say "it must be the cigarettes, you're such a bad influence" and flutter your eyelashes at him. whilst in this strangely confident state you ask, "Do you want to come upstairs?" and matty just smirks and says "not tonight love but come see me in my office tomorrow and we can definitely discuss this more" so you get all shy and say "okay then... I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" and turn to put your key in and he goes "oh you certainly will sweetheart you aren't getting away that easily" which makes you giggle and walk away with slightly more sway in your hips than necessary. you turn back and see him standing there through the lift doors so you do a coy little wave and matty teasingly does the exact same wave back as the doors shut.

I'm SO sorry this got so long and I'm not a writer so ignore all the shit BUT you get my concept

anways going to get a lobotomy now brb

SCREAMING don’t say you’re not a writer that was so good!! also so so funny to receive a full blown blurb into my ask like damn we are switching places here! didn’t even have to write it for the thoughts to exist🥰 felt like i was being serenaded with smut. (and when i do a reverse blurb night where i post prompts and other people send the blurbs in instead🤨)

‘why does greasy, gross and depraved turn me on more’ that is the linecook paradox that is the ultimate question!!!

omg he would 100% drive her home anytime she’s closing Even before they’re ever hooking up. he’s just not letting a young pretty girl like her walk alone at night. also i Love shotgunning in stories (it’s literally in my smut ideas list😭) like damn getting all close and personal with ur lips??🤭 why so sensual

#loved this! #you should def write more bff #linecook!au #ask

[lemonhemlock]

I was wondering if you had any theories on why Aemond Targaryen seems to be seen as a much more attractive marriage prospect than Willas Tyrell, despite both of them suffering from the Westerosi stigma surrounding disability. Im basing this supposition in the fact that Aemond is used as a bargaining chip to get the Baratheons on the Greens side at the start of the Dance, and it doesnt seem like the Tyrells have attempted to use Willas as a marriage option to gain more supportive houses for Renly’s campaign. (Later, of course, they offer him to Sansa, but that is when the Tyrells are no longer at war and are allied to the crown/Lannisters through Margery’s marriages.) It just seems the time yo use him as a marriage bargaining chip would have been more usefulI when they were actively backing Renly’s military campaign as opposed to peace time. That makes me think that Aemond was a more “attractive” marriage option, despite both of them being disabled and suffering an ableist society

I recognize Aemond is a Prince and later the brother of the King, but on the Green’s side, he is still 3rd-4th in line for the throne (depending on whether or not Jaehaera is ahead of him in the line of succession. Its less likely that him or his descendants will become King (at least at the start of the Dance) Compared to Willas, who is the heir apparent to Highgarden, and him and his descendants are likely to become the next Great Lords of the Reach. Thats nothing to scoff at.

The only reason i can think of is the the fact that Westarosi society venerates the idea of an ideal man as a warrior, and because of the nature of his injury, Willas is no longer able to fit that ideal. Contrast with Aemond, who became an even better swordsman/warrior after he became disabled. He is still the subject of ableism, but he is more easily able to meet the societal ideal of manhood vs Willas. That likely makes him a more “attractive” marriage option

(Also, I’m actually @elinor-bolton (thats my ASOIAF side-blog) idk how to send asks as a side-blog vs your main

Hi, there, Elinor, I hope you're doing great! Honestly, I just think it's a story requirement more than anything else. George needs Willas unmarried so that he could be linked in marriage to Sansa and Cersei (or even Arianne). AWOIAF lists him as being 24-27 in 300 AC - so kind of the middle ground between Sansa and Cersei. He can't be younger, because George needs Loras & Garlan to exist for different purposes. He has to be the eldest because that works in Cersei's favour - the future Lady of Highgarden is a very respectable position for the Dowager Queen.

So, I don't really think George was attempting to make much of a commentary on ableism here to the point that other lords would be so repulsed by Willas' disability that not even him inheriting Highgarden could possibly offset that. Also, Willas is not that old - I feel like it could more easily be explained away by other garden-variety reasons like: he just didn't want to get married that soon / had other interests / they just didn't find the right match / his brother Garlan is already married so, if needed, he could be the one to produce heirs etc. As for the marriage alliance to shore up Renly's claim, it could be explained by them not having had the time to find a properly advantageous match (Renly does die quite soon in the war), thus freeing Willas for the Sansa/Cersei failed matches.

#elinor-bolton #callmekohaii #ask #willas tyrell

[tv-g1r-l]

Yo I saw this and thought it was cool so once u see it and have the time itd be cool if u matched me

Anyways I'm pansexual and I use any pronouns but he/she. I'm like 5'6" and a bit heavyset if that matters. I'm also an entp and 5w4 so yeah. It also gave me the result of king when I took that one soldier poet king test. I absolutely love to draw and make and consume all kinds of art like music, writing, animation, drawing, jewelry, etc. etc. etc. like art is my life, man. Anyways, my favorite artists are Crystal Castles, Justice, and You Love Her Coz She's Dead, though I really like Mommy Long Legs, CRIMES, etc. etc. too. I listen to them all hours of the day I can, like I am hyperfixated on the first three. Speaking of that, I have adhd. In terms of other things about me, I absolutely love Minecraft, miitopia, and other such video games. I oftentimes wish I were literally alone, but figuratively I am a bit lonely. Some people have called me nice and easygoing when it comes down to it. I also believe I am laid-back, but I am not the person to say all this stuff about me; I don't wanna be biased. Admittedly, I am a bit of a procrastinator, but I still wanna achieve a lot. I wanna go places, I wanna connect with people from many different cultures. I wanna learn things, and do things. Almost all of the time, I don't like hugs, but who knows(hc thing idk wink wink). If you do end up doing it, thank you! Regardless, thank you for considering

Ofc I can!! I match you up with... (sorry for the lateness, btw!!)

Shadow!!

My choice may seem weird, I know, but hear me out!!

There's a contrast yet similarity between you and Shadow that I can see, and I think he'd compliment your personality extremely well- especially with your likes and personality, so let me explain.

He's very uptight compared to you, and quite the complete opposite (as they say, opposites attract!), I can see Shadow probably, at first at least, not liking you all too much or finding your interests a waste of time etc.

Over time, as he gets to know you, he'd try and see why you love all these things so much, trying them out for you and trying to hang out with you through these said interests. He's *super* confused with all the video games you play though, like Minecraft, he doesn't know how to play it at first but if you teach him- he'd.. still probably not get it, but it's fine as long as you're enjoying it.

He's also very lonely, and.. well, quite emo- I can see him trying to not let you have that same fate and trying to be near you, even if he's just quiet most of the time. He tries his best.

He'd motivate you and probably urge you to complete or achieve the things you're trying to work on or trying to achieve- he may come off as pushy, but I can see him backing away a little if you tell him off for this.

Shadow would probably not be too fond of physical affectionate, resorting to gift giving or vocally affirming you instead of hugging you. If you do ask for one, he'd comply, just know that he'd probably be just a bit awkward.

(Again, im so, so sorry this is so late and short!!)

#shadow the hedgehog #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #shadow #match ups

[fauxkaren]

The King: Eternal Monarch - 8/10

After the heavy subject matter of D.P., I wanted something that I could just enjoy and not like... finish the series and just want to stare at a wall, contemplating human nature. SO, I decided to give The King: Eternal Monarch a watch! And zero regrets! It was an enjoyable ride. And y'all, it is a WILD ride. It's I guess sci-fi/modern fantasy? IDK. There are parallel worlds, doppelgangers, alternate timelines, time loops and also beautiful people crying beautifully.

In a world parallel to ours, Korea is not a Republic, but rather it is a constitutional monarchy, known as the Kingdom of Corea. One night, in 1994, the king's half brother, Lee Lim, attempts to stage a coup, killing his brother and nearly killing the crown prince. However, a mysterious stranger comes to Lee Gon's rescue, disappearing into the night, leaving behind only a police ID badge for a female lieutenant named Jeong Tae-eul... an ID badge that was issued in the year 2019. The aim of the attempted coup was not becoming king, but rather, Lee Lim was after a mythical object that belonged to the kings of Corea- a flute that he believed would allow him to obtain eternity. In the scuffle of that night though, the flute was cut in half and Lee Lim escapes with only one half. When Lee Lim escaped from the palace that night, his half of the flute opened a door to our world and he fled into the Republic of Korea where he proceeded to kill his counterpart in this world so it would look like he died in Corea, leaving him free to regroup and rebuild and plot for his return.

Flash forward 20-something years and the crown prince is now the King of Corea, but he's always haunted by that night. The half of the flute that remained behind in Corea has been hidden in Lee Gon's riding crop, and one day while riding in a bamboo forest, a door opens up for him. He goes through it and winds up in the Republic of Korea where he crosses paths with the face that he's been staring at on that police badge since the night of the attempted coup, wondering who she was and why her badge was in the palace that night. He's run right into Jeong Tae-eul. What follow is... well, it's a lot! Lots of plot twists and turns and honestly some time travel and parallel world stuff that I'm not entirely sure I understand. It's great fun though.

Let's get into the show's weaknesses. Right off the bat, I'm going to say that I think the antagonist Lee Lim is a weakness. He's just kind of... there? A very boring villain, imo. The ambitious prime minister is a MUCH better antagonist, but it felt like the show didn't fully live up to the potential with her storyline. Sometimes it also feels like the show just lets go of plot threads without following up on them. I have a big question that I don't think was ever answered and it seemed like the writers just forgot about it. I don't know if it's because the rules of the universe aren't explained well enough or if it's because I'm dumb, but if you asked me to explain what was going on in the last 2 episodes, in terms of the time travel and alternate histories and memories and the kid with the yo-yo, I would not be able to tell you, lmao. I also didn't LOVE the ending. I didn't hate it, but it felt slightly unsatisfactory and unfinished for me.

In spite of those complaints, I would def recommend this show! The central romance is sweet and full of DRAMA and LONGING and SEPARATION BY UNIVERSES. Plus, Lee Gon is like... super attractive. lmao. The secondary characters are also well written and acted and contribute a lot to filling out the show's universe. There are some really compelling friendships and relationships among the characters that elevates the show beyond just being about a romance.

So honestly, if you just turn your brain off and don't think too hard about the how and why of how everything works, it's a good show to watch and wallow in some romance and feelings and adventure.

#karen watches kdramas #the king: eternal monarch

[sauerland-2001]

I don't think Ismail is cute... I don't get why skam fandom only appreciate those 11 yo skinny average guys. Idk maybe they're less "intimidating" or whatever but I just don't get it 🤔

Wrong person to ask here tbh. I don’t think Ismail is beautiful because he’s skinny or less intimidating, I think he’s beautiful because I think he’s beautiful. How do I explain this? To me people aren’t beautiful because they have certain features. Like, I’ve never found anyone attractive simply because they have blue eyes.

But…for others this might be the case, yes. But I don’t feel like there is anything to get tbh. Sure, we could psychoanalyze why certain types speak to certain people. But who am I to say that Ismail/Eren‘s looks are less intimidating than others to some people? What does that mean? Which types can be deemed „intimidating“? Super duper manly ones? People with bald heads? People with beards? I don’t know.

#as I said #i am the wrong person for this #people like different things ok #also #Eren is 19 and not 11 #let’s not do that please 🙏🏽

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Ok so I've read your take on the porn thing( that it doesn't matter what kind of porn u watch, if someone does something sexual u might be turned on etc etc)

So my question is how do u know if you're sexually attracted yo someone???

Like if for eg your a girl and watching lesbian porn turns u on, u say that it doesn't really conclude that she's gay or anything

And I've seen posts like sexual attraction means when like u look at someone and be like yeah I'd like to do sexual stuff with them

But i can literally say that by looking at anyone attractive regardless of their gender, but that doesn't mean i am sexually attracted to them right??

Romantically speaking , from the crushes I've had it's like you get all flustered and all idk how to explain it but I've never wanted to be physically close to them(I'm a girl my crushes were on boys) but i currently THINK i MIGHT like this girl (i don't really know for sure tho) and i want to like hug her and just be close to her both emotionally and physically; does this count as sexual attraction???

And maybe im more comfortable with girls because they've got the same parts as me and I'm just knocking it out before tryjng it for boys??

I guess every person would give you a bit of a different answer regarding what sexual attraction feels like for them. And I just want to make clear: what you like in porn ~can~ be an indicator of your actual sexual orientation. But it doesn’t have to be. And especially when we’re talking scientific studies that measure a body’s response (gential arousal, perspiration, heartrate) when a test subject is shown pornographic pictures will often show that most people will have these physical responses no matter what kind of porn they are shown - which at the end of the day only proves that visual stimuli causes a lot of human bodies to have an arousal response. Hence the statement that “just because you like gay porn doesn’t mean you’re gay”.

Now... sexual attraction often means being very drawn to a person based on their physical appearance and having a strong desire to do sexual stuff with them. Though someone’s personality can also make them seem more sexy to you than they seemed at first glance. And likewise, if someone is very good looking to you but then opens their mouth and only talks bullshit then that can quickly make them seem very unattractive. So, I wouldn’t say that sexual attraction is ~only~ about how someone looks, but it does play a large part - that’s why a lot of people have a Type aka a lot of their crushes kinda look the same or at least have some physical features in common. For example 95% of the men I am attracted to are old, small and chubby. Now, of course not every old-smol-chubby guy I see is hot in my eyes but occassionally I see one that just makes me go 👀 because he fits the bill just perfectly. That can be a fleeting moment and a guy I will forget about 30 seconds later but since at my age I know my Type really well and I can confidently say that this eyes-emoji was sexual attraction for me. But it can also get more intense, especially if I get to know the guy a bit and he turns out to be nice and charming on top of being good-looking - then I might reaaaally want to know what he looks like nakey and ask myself what he might be like in bed. And I might end up having fantasies about him.

Now, I assume you’re still young and on top of sexuality being confusing already as it is you might also just not know if you have a type yet. Which can make this seem a bit weird when people say they can just ~see someone and be immediately sexually attracted to them~. But you gotta keep in mind the complexity of that experience. I know what kinds of men I like from years of experience. Like, I know myself and my sexuality well enough by now. Which means I can pretty much tell at first glance if someone is my type or not just on a purely physical level. Their personality might end up being unattractive to me but that’s something only to be found out by getting to know someone.

Now, I guess you messaged us because you wonder if you are bi or not. What I can tell you is that most straight girls would not even question their sexuality this far. Or if they do they usually realise they are queer in some way. And even if inexperienced straight girls feel insecure about dating boys they would probably not think “well, I can just play around with girls bc that seems more comfortable” - unless they are secretly attracted to girls in some way which, again, means they aren’t really straight. You get my point?

A lot of closeted bisexuals also think that “everybody is a little attracted to their own gender, right? that doesn’t really make me bi. even straight women find other women attractive” and I can tell you: that’s not true. Straight women are not attracted to women. By definition. If a “straight” woman talks about how sexy women are and how she has “girl crushes” all the time then she is probably a closeted queer woman who might not even know it herself because of internalised biphobia.

So if you say “and I've seen posts like sexual attraction means when like u look at someone and be like yeah I'd like to do sexual stuff with them. But i can literally say that by looking at anyone attractive regardless of their gender (...)” then I’d say that sounds a lot like you are attracted to multiple genders. 🤷‍♀️ Like, “attraction regardless of gender” is literally one definition of pansexuality. If you find yourself wanting to do sexy stuff with people of more than one gender then you ain’t a heterosexual, my friend!

Maddie

#Anonymous

[juiceboxesheadcanons]

Yo your headcanons are very poggers, do you think you could do headcanons for the adultrio with an ace s/o? Just in case you don't know, ace in this case means asexual so basically doesn't experience sexual attraction :3 Sorry if your not comfy with that, I didn't see anything about it in the rules so why not ask y'know

YESSSS I CAN!! And you can request anything that’s not against the rules!! I don’t get uncomfortable by literally anything, I just set boundaries for illegal things! THANKS SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING!!! 😁🧃 (and for the poggers it made me smile ngl)

Adult trio with a asexual s/o~

a/n: headcanon count: 30 | this does contain things about sexual intercourse and being asexual, so if you’re against the lgbtqia+ community fuck off and go to hell, but if you’re uncomfortable with this topic just scroll and you’re valid! 🥰🧃

Chrollo

🧃 he doesn’t actually mind much (stan him)

🧃 he isn’t that into sex or anything of that sort to the point he won’t date you because of it

🧃 he probably will read more about it so that he can understand more about what this is and why you feel this way about intercourse.

🧃 if he saw anybody making you uncomfortable by saying sexual things, quick kill +10 points 😁

🧃 the troupe and you wouldn’t be an issue because let’s be honest a couple of them are probably ace as well

🧃I feel like he’s either in a relationship for the benefits of information or a persons personality. He isn’t a player who just wants sex so it’s fine it’s good!

🧃 he wouldn’t treat you any differently from anybody else such as treating you like a innocent baby (shoyo hinata in every mf haikyuu texting video) and he wouldn’t just be straight out “bro why don’t you like sex?? I could change your mind!”

🧃 might hang up a ace flag or two and if he had time go to a pride event but unlikely because of his schedule 

🧃 nobody will invalidate you when he’s around, he would kill them like a fly

🧃 you being ace never will affect the relationship and he loves you just as much as if you did enjoy and feel sexual ❤

Illumi

🧃 like chrollo he doesn’t even mind, probably doesn’t even know what asexual means at this point because you know, uneducated mf

🧃 I feel like Illumi could be asexual, but then again he is married to hisoka so not quite sure?

🧃 he has to look up what it is because growing up in a “kill, money, life is war” household they didn’t bother teaching him about sexuality and his mom is probably a homophobe. silva probably isn’t tho because I feel he’s the one who approved of the hisoka x illumi ship in the first place

🧃 when he finds out what asexual means after 48 websites, and 92 computers he just is like “oh, that’s nice.” idk what else could he say? He probably never was the person anybody would come out too like that bc yk the DEATH stare-

🧃 if he saw somebody making you uncomfortable he wouldn’t kill them cause he sees it has a waste of energy but threaten them to the point oh hell nah they just finna jump off a cliff afterwards 

🧃 but if somebody invalidates you it’s a different story. “come on y/n, I’ll handle them. just go wait in the car.” 

🧃 that person never saw the light of day again. fly low I guess🥰

🧃 he wouldn’t really care if you were ace cause yk he isn’t a giant fan of doing “it” such as others. I mean he thinks it’s nice but he doesn’t just NEED it

🧃 he honestly thinks you’re great if you enjoy intercourse or not

🧃 but still is confused about what asexual is :’)

Hisoka

🧃 okay he’ll be the most difficult out of the 3 to understand you.

🧃 he doesn’t understand at all. It’s great how couldn’t you couldn’t feel or enjoy it at all?? He loves it so how could somebody else just not like it?

🧃 probably will think you’re just in denial until he doesn’t anymore. He’ll think you’re just stubborn until he tries something and you genuinely get upset.

🧃 this is depressing to him but he realizes that you’re not just a toy instead you’re his s/o. He messes up every now and then sometimes, he’s just gonna need some practice at this.

🧃 when he realizes you’re serious he will never try anything on you but if he lets something slip out he’ll probably just apologize and shut up

🧃 he’d hang some ace flags around and would celebrate pride with you, he thinks it’s nice because he is canonly pansexual so you guys could relate in one link, and he probably went to pride every now and then but he goes more often if you were to be comfortable going because anything for “his darling~”

🧃 if anybody invalidates you just like chrollo, quick easy kill (oh she passed away? aww, aww alright anyways yall want some mcdonalds? 🤷🏽‍♀️)

🧃 honestly be grateful that you don’t have to explain what ace is to him because I feel he’s educated on all topics like this, not like he had a family to educate him (fuck yo homie dead 😜) he just felt it was important 

🧃 this would throw him off a small bit but he still loves you just as if you weren’t ace

🧃 this is gonna be a challenge but he’ll get the hand of it soon :)

Okay that is it! sorry if it seems to typical but I am not part of the community myself and tried to research as much as I could for it to seem realistic ✨ ANYWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING!!! SEND IN MORE REQUESTS GUYS I LOVE THEM 😁🧃

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

thank you! i think you're genuinely the only person that has ever said they actually like the fact that my bathrobe is obnoxiously pink. and you're absolutely right, one of the things i like most about it is that it hurts people's eyes. i love it actually. if you ever celebrate halloween you should absolutely add your bathrobe to your costume. an amazing idea. since it has a mouse face on the hood it could be two costumes rolled into one - both a vampire and a mouse (if in the middle of the evening you get bored of one), which i think would be awesome. and you probably wouldn't get cold (is it cold in nz during halloween? because here it almost always is). we don't celebrate halloween in lithuania either though. which i'm a bit bummed about, because halloween sounds super fun. mostly because of the dressing up! but i did celebrate it once, when i was 11 or 12 maybe? me and a couple of friends decided it would be fun even if it's not really celebrated here. so we dressed up, even went trick ir treating (half the houses had no idea what was happening and also i pretty much froze to death because i was dressed as a dead bride and refused to put a coat on because then you couldn't see my dress) and also watched horror movies. 12 (or 11) year old me thought it was amazing.

oh yeah! i've broken a knife on 2 separate occasions i think. once i tried to get something out of between the blender's blades, used a knife and then accidentally turned the blender on (i'm so fucking glad it was a knife and not my fingers). so the tip of the knife broke off (the blender was ok tho). and the second time i have no idea how it happened. i was cutting up broccoli and the knife just fell apart??? i was so confused, because one second i'm holding a knife and the next it's just two pieces of a handle and the metal part, all separate. had fun explaining that to my dad. you sound pretty unlucky too! i mean, a cut every time you use a knife, but you don't even notice it at the time? i think it's just that knives are out to get us (it's my newest conspiracy theory). i actually get double vision too sometimes! mostly when i'm tired, but i just figured that it was because i have really bad eyesight

they definitely SHOULD teach about gender and sexuality in school. it's a really big problem that in a lot of places it's either not compulsory or not even in the curriculum. honestly, everything i know about sex ed or lgbtq+ i had to learn myself on the internet, because we only had one class when we were like 13 years old with a guest speaker and it was mostly biology and then a little bit about menstruation and pads for girls (i have no idea what they told boys because we were also separated). so sex ed definitely sucks a lot in my country and i bet it's the same in a lot of others, which makes me really mad

exactly!! it's so hard to tell whether i'm feeling romantic or platonic love sometimes! it's confusing. also i remember one time me and a couple of friends had a sleepover and the friend's, who was hosting, parents weren't home so we watched romance movies (scandalous i know). again we were maybe 12. and they kept going "oh he's so hot" and intensely watching the sex scenes. while i was looking away from the tv whenever sexy times were going on and commenting on how much i loved the house design and the garden. gee i wonder what that means. (still can't believe it took me this long to figure out i was ace)

the breakfast went very well though! it's so interesting how different traditions are everywhere. i hope your lunch and the rest of christmas day went well too! (also i forgot to ask last time, but what is boxing day? google says it's mostly a shopping holiday, is it that? we just call it the second day of christmas and it's pretty much the same as christmas day but there's no presents!) but yeah i hope you had fun with your extended family on boxing day!

having acid reflux sounds like it sucks. i love breakfast, it's my favourite meal of the day (when i don't have to rush that is) and i skip lunch a lot because i usually have no time for it (my schedule kinda sucks), so i usually try to have a bigger breakfast. but hey, peanut butter is good! so at least you can have something that tastes good for breakfast!

aaand i feel like this ask got away from me. sorry it's so long!

it’s because i have t a s t e. it may not be GOOD taste but it sure is...taste...and i am proud of it. and yes, i love the idea of adding my dressing gown to my costume specifically because it means i’m basically in my PJ’s. minimal effort. comfort to the max. living the dream. halfway through the night i’m tired of being the vampire no one invites in so i drop to my knees and start the mouse act. mice are good at getting in houses and getting to chocolate and such. the dream. also i absolutely would get bored of one costume within the space of a few hours knowing me, so that’s a plus. uhhhh halloween is october which is. mid-late spring so it really depends on the day. it might be a little cold, might be shorts weather. I rarely leave my house at night so I’m not an expert on nighttime temperatures sdflsdfjsd. 

I used to wish we did Halloween here but that was mostly because I wanted lollies. Although I also liked playing dress up as a young kid so maybe very young me would’ve vibed with the costume aspect. I know there’s a photo of me when I was like, 5 and my best friend of the time dressed up as witches at some point, maybe we had our own little halloween. I also possibly had a halloween themed birthday party once as a kid? I remember the little gift bags having spooky things in them and also possibly a bat cake but my memory is too bad to remember for sure. aha that’s the problem here too, no one locally would ever think to buy lollies to give out so it’d just be like um. you can have an apple I guess? at least you had fun though! i respect the commitment to the costume despite the cold. 

that is such a stressful story to read, i fear for your life. although i understand the knife breaking in that first scenario. that would be terrifying though. what if the blender launched it,,, nOPE. i’m very glad it wasn’t your fingers, that’s some horror movie shit. the second time is just,, it be like that sometimes. it was probably just waiting to happen. my parents have a cheese grater with a loose handle and it. falls off. every time. i dry it. with the dishes. and every time i fear for my life as the grating bit drops off towards my feet as i’m left holding the handle. i should expect it by now but i never do. I get scared every time it happens. knives are definitely out to get us, i fully support this conspiracy theory. oh yeah, tiredness doesn’t help with double vision. i kind of need bifocal glasses by now but I also don’t want bifocal glasses so i just suffer but I suspect having them would reduce the double vision. maybe. maybe not.

yup! i remember someone handing out tampons and pads at primary school, i assume after giving a talk about periods, idk. i do also remember a teacher pulling the girls aside and being like yo, this is what a period is, here’s a horror story about my daughter and a tampon, enjoy the trauma, go back to class. good times. we did actually get really comprehensive sex ed concerning most things at my high school but that is faaaarrr from the norm around here, clearly. although teenage boys are good at filling in gaps, in my experience. they’re like little sex encyclopedias that offer up information without you asking. i didn’t ACTUALLY want to know that but i do now, i guess, thanks michael. 

dude. the ‘oh he’s so hot’ comments are so confusing. ‘hot’ is like a category of attractiveness that I’ve never understood. ‘isn’t he hot?’ what does that MEAN rebecca. i think i asked once if it meant like, attractive or good looking. and the person i asked was like, you know, hot. you just look at them and, you know- no i don’t know. what is this. i don’t think i’ve ever watched a sex scene with people my age though, generally i just zone out for them sdkfhskdfh. i feel like there’s definitely all these indicators when you look back like oh yeah, should’ve realised i was ace then, but it’s just. such a hard sexuality to figure out. not that other sexualities aren’t but you’ve got to figure out an absence of something when you don’t even know what the something feels like- it’s a challenge.

I’m glad it did! It is interesting, for sure. I’ve always been interested in how winter Christmas’s work. As a young kid I didn’t understand hemispheres...obviously...i was like 5...and i’d go out on Christmas morning to see if there was snow. and sometimes it’d be a bit chilly in the morning and I’d be like damn. we almost had some this year. it’s a shame our climate tends to be too hot for snow on christmas :// like no you tiny dumbass it’s summer you little idiot there will be no snow no matter what. everything ended up going super well here :). boxing day is basically just a shopping holiday, i don’t know if it has any significance in any other way, i’m sure it did at one point, but i know there’s always boxing day sales everywhere. I think it’s also a public holiday (?) to give people another day off work and that, but I could be wrong there. I know I also used to regularly go to the races (horse races) nearby that were always held on boxing day, it was like a 150 year old tradition or something until people in attendance started dropping and I think they finally shut it down a couple years back. I didn’t care all that much about the horses but they also had food and carnival-type rides and such for the kids which is why I loved it. also we tended to meet extended family there for a picnic lunch.

acid reflux is like the least of my problems sdfkjshdkf. it’s annoying but it’s pretty managed with medication, I have to watch certain foods and drinks but I’m used to it by now. I think it’s also what causes me to not be able to eat large amounts normally so I survive a lot on snacks and a reasonable sized dinner. works for me. but peanut butter is good! i’m glad i can have that! I used to also have vegemite but that’s a bit more of a push, it’s easier to stick with peanut butter.

also it’s fine!! my responses are always very long too sdfjhskdf.

#i got told i probably needed bifocals like #at LEAST 2 years ago #probably more #but realistically i'm probably too dumb to use them correctly i wouldn't look in the right place for close vision or whatever #i'd probably give myself a headache #also to this day i have never gone NEAR a tampon #the horror story gave me enough trauma thanks #anyway gonna go eat an ice cream sundae and suffer #might fuck around and make my lactose intolerance hate me haha #it'll be WORTH it #i say now #in an hour i'll be dying #it's fine #Anonymous

[myvelouri]

I need to be really open

Right now I'm about to post totally openly and it's going to beong because my night was long

So I was at the bar and the girl buddy I wrote about who didn't remember me, who used to remember me when she ran into me back then... Yeah she didn't remember me and it hurt my feelings really badly. Look, it just did, okay? I don't forget people I've had coffee with under funny circumstances and people uve bonded with. She used to support my depression and all that and was totally into me back then as she's the one who told me I have awesome hair and always wanted to tell me

Yeah that was her back then, just fucking only 3 years ago, it's not even that long, let alone I texted her just a few months ago

My heart breaks a bit. And she was there with a buddy of mine. I didn't know he'd be there. I felt so hurt by that? Because I thought me and her were hella cool... We used to text jokes about this guy in a class. I just can't believe you'd forget me

I can't

Especially since she thought I was attractive AND THEN we had a bonding moment over coffee one day

I'm so hurt, I can't explain it, I don't know if it's okay for me to feel this way, I don't know if it's wrong to feel this way. .. I'm just very HURT and it makes me want to cry, I'm not crying, but it feels like it and I just... I don't understand and I can't shake the awkwardness. I met her and she still didn't remember me. I had to explain to her who I was and it felt so unnatural

I still feel woozy about that! I hated that! I did! My buddy told me she said to him "I think I know that guy" REALLY?! Bro it's not like me and her were acquaintances. Omfg. We were seen together plenty times

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL? It's not like I was trying to fuck her or anything, I just felt like it was a special connection when I met her. Not that we were close but she was one of those rare open people and thought we'd never forget each other

It makes me a little sick to my stomach, as in, just feeling, I don't know why, and to know she didn't want to hang with me but hung out with Eric... I'm just so confused!! I can't do this right now! Not right now! Too much, it's too much right now!

Okay so I was outside at the bar very sad and slum. I got to the bar and ordered another drink. The waitress there, the one that hates me, she was here so I tried to be nice and asked "how are you doing?" And she ignored me, and I said her name, kaeton, I was like, "kaeton??" And she still ignored me. Suffice it to say my heart felt even more hurt. The more and more I try to give myself, the more and more I'm being shut down..

I just wanted to die at that point

So I went outside to write to myself with my new beer

Suddenly a fight is happening. I interject cause they came my way, two dudes and the small one is toast. So I help the big one out and say yo, here come here, chill, and I tried to sit them down. And then the big one pushed me as if I'm an enemy and said "NAH GET OUT OF MY WAY, HES MY NEPHEW" and I said BRO CHILL, IM HERE TO HELP, ON YOUR SIDE. And later he apologized to me saying he's sorry he was like that and that it indeed was his nephew who was causing the scene. I said I know they man, I wanted to stop you guys from tumbling over people. He was cool man. We talked afterwards. No problem at all. Chill dude. Infact the waitress that hates me? I am pretty sure she gave him her number. Doesn't matter

So guess what? Another fight breaks out from that. Again came my way. I saw the two bartender guys that work there. Casey and Calvin. I know them somewhat. I'm a regular at this bar bro. And I see this dude pushing Calvin around and I got so upset that I went up and stopped him, grabbed him by the neck (the drunk douche) and said nah, chill, you're out bro and he started calling me "what? YOU FAG, YOU FUCKING GAY FAGGOT" because of the way I look. And I was quick to remark about his dumbass appearance about his glasses and cap combo. And he kept going but my skinny ass was able to push him out the door. And I bumped into Sam, my other favorite waitress there who I've slowly gotten close to. I'll tell you more about that. She was a bit frazzled by it all. And I accidentally made her drop drinks on herself as she was trying to serve someone else but that's cause I was getting angry and talking mad shit back to this douche bag I was pushing out by the neck. And Casey, not Calvin, but Casey, pushed me out of that grip and I understood, to let go and let the people working here take care of it. I didn't mean to be bad. I was just upset seeing one of the workers here that I like being pushed around so rough. It wasn't okay. And like. Yeah

So when I came back to the outside, lots of people came up to me. Some said wow, wtf happenened, we saw, you were involved and we were like WTF

Others, like Eric saw it and then he left cause he said he didn't want to see drunkards brawling. In my heart I thought, wow, Eric, I wasn't, I was pushing him out because the drunkard was ALREADY hitting the wait staff.

Anyway, other people came up to me and told me "wow bro when he called you a fag? Dude nah I almost ran in there and knocked him out, I'm surprised you didn't, he called you a fag so many times" and I said "yeah I was getting to that point but Casey stopped me"

Um, girls started looking at me and smiling at me. I don't know why but girls thought it was attractive that I pushed out a douche bag out of the bar, whilst being called a fag and horrible names. Idk man.

A lot of people came up to me. I didn't even realize everyone was watching. To me it lasted a second. To everyone else telling me about it, they said it lasted a good 6 minutes straight

Jesus

Okay so I went to Steve's house with Ronnie and Hector. Love these dudes. Steve is hella old but he's awesome. We smoked and drank. We got hungry so me, Ronnie and Hector went to whataburger. We ate and suddenly Sam, the waitress from the bar came over and scared me..I was HOLY SHIT WTF HOW

she said she was driving and saw us so she came in to eat with us. Ugh sam is so cute. She's been so hot this entire time. She's the one who I accidentally spilled a bit of beer on as she was trying to serve it, remember? And so after that happened, I went up to her and said "hey, I'm sorry I spilled that on you, Sam" and she was so surprised I was like this (it's just me) and she was like "omg you're so sweet" and was like "no it's fine" so fast forward to whataburger. Ya man. Hector left and Ronnie left. It was just me and Sam. And the guy working at Whataburger was trying to fuck sam. Poor guy, bless his heart, he has a crush on Sam, and, you know, she just doesn't like him. So she told me to help her sneak out when he isn't looking. And I did lol. So me and her started talking a lot outside. And the dude comes out and says to her "hey Sam, I'm about to smoke a cigarette, wanna join me?" Literally has balls trying to cock block ME. I MEAN, I wasn't trying to fuck Sam, I'm just saying to HIM it looked like I was kinda with her and had been with her a while alone, so for him to come up, was ballsy. Like bro, you for real?

She brushed him off. And she looked at me and said "come on" and I asked her "Bro why are you acting like he has a chance?!" And she said she has to because she comes here to eat often at nights hahaha. I said okay, totally understandable hahahaha

And then she told me, I grew on her. She's seen me many nights and has seen who I am. And she finally sees the real me. She said she appreciates me and wants to hang out and stuff. I was surprised. I felt appreciated greatly. Especially after such an awful night. Which is still affecting me. I don't know how Jenny forgot me. I can't believe I was trying to call her Emily at first. Awful. It was an accident, not that she heard me. But, wow, she didn't remember me at all.

It hurts still... Because that means I've gotten so so ugly to the point where girls who used to think I was hot as fuck don't even recognize me anymore (that's how ugly and different I've gotten physically) oh no I'm gonna cry. I can't take it

The end of tonight was good! Why can't I accept that!

I'm actually tearing up

This is so awful

What is wrong with me

#personal

[mysticmikalla]

My ace bum has a request! Could you make headcanons with RFA + Saeran (+ Vanderwood if you're confortable with them) with MC who was apprehending to tell them she is asexual because of people telling things like "it's not normal to feel nothing" or "you cannot know before testing" or "you need to see a doctor to be cured from that and educate you" (a 'friend' really said it to me and I'm still shocked and I said a big NOPE)? Sorry if it's too specific or you don't know how to deal with it ;;

Request granted! I hope I did a good job at this, but if theres something I  got wrong or that offends anyone please tell me!! Ill change it or take it down!

*KINDA NSFW IDK??

***

Yoosung

“Boys at this age have their hormones everywhere, there’s no way he’s just going to understand”

“Why don’t you try it before saying you’re not interested? You won’t know unless you try

Sigh

You were terrified of telling your boyfriend that you were ace

What if he didn’t get it- hell, most people didn’t

Or worse…what if he didn’t accept it?

When you told him that you needed to talk to him about something serious, he was the one who freaked out

You sat him down, and told him everything

How you always felt different from others, how sex wasn’t something you were interested in and probably would never be

He blinked at you a few times before responding

“Does that mean…you’re not attracted to me?”

“No! I am! I just…I don’t feel the desire to have sex, that’s all…”

“Oh, thank God,” He breathed, pulling you in for a hug, “I thought you were going to break up with me.”

“Wait, so your’re…okay with it?”

“As long as you’re okay with it, MC, there’s nothing for me to be worried about.”

Zen

“Maybe this Zen guy she’s dating will teach them a thing or two.”

“Yeah, they just need to be dicked down to know what they’re missing.”

Dicked…down?

Your friends were always in denial ever since you had told them about your orientation, saying it wasn’t real

“Sex is in the human DNA, MC.”

Uh, sure. Call me an alien then

And Zen…

He always talked about ‘The Beast’

How all men were wolves, animals

How could he possibly understand how you felt? How could he accept you like this?

He’d probably think I’m lying to get out of doing it with him, you tortured yourself with these thoughts

He hadn’t really initiated anything before, but as your relationship progressed, you felt as if you should tell him

“Maybe The Beast doesn’t have to be sex, it could be a tickle attack.” Was the fist thing he said after you told him

“What about, ‘All men are wolves’”

“MC…look at this God-given face. Do I look like ‘all men’?” He winked

Jaehee

Before you two started dating, she would always fangirl to you about Zen or some Kpop idol she liked

“Oh my…MC, doesn’t he make you feel some type of way?”

And honest to God, you could not relate

You watched as she visibly got fired up when talking about them, and wondered if you’d ever feel the same

“Oh! They’re into girls, no wonder they didn’t feel any sexual attraction to guys before!” was all you heard after you introduced Jaehee as your girlfriend

But you still didn’t feel the Attraction™ everyone seemed to feel

As you two got closer, so did you bodies

She seemed so eager to take things to the next level…

What if she didn’t want to be with someone who couldn’t please her like this? What if she misunderstood it and thought you weren’t attracted to her because she was a woman?

You loved her so much, you didn’t want to hurt her

But you couldn’t keep on doing things that made you uncomfortable

“MC, I can’t say that I understand, because I’ve never been in your position before, but of course I accept it. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

Jumin

“If I see the tiniest bit of opening, I’ll own you completely.”

“Don’t entice me, MC, or I’ll lose control.”

These things Jumin said swirled around your head often

It hadn’t been long since you two started dating, but he seemed to really want you like that, saying so with words, actions and touch

You were worried, you were so worried about coming out to him

“A man like that will never be satisfied with someone who can’t give them that kind of pleasure.”

What if they were right? 

You procrastinated telling him until the last very moment, when he was on top of you and kissing yo hungrily, whispering those words again in your ear

“Wait…Jumin…I can’t do this.” You pushed him away lightly, sitting up and catching your breath

“Is something wrong? Did I hurt you?”

It’s not that you were repulsed by sex, or scared of it

You were scared of losing him because of it

“MC…Why are you crying?” He took your hand in his, concerned

You then explained everything to him, how you felt broken, that there was something wrong with you for not feeling the desire to have sex

And that you were afraid 

“What if I can’t give you what you need?”

He shook his head, bringing you close to his chest in a tight embrace, “The only  thing I need is your love and companionship, MC. I don’t care about the rest.”

You let out a sight or relief, “I love you.”

“I love you too, no matter what.”

Seven

“MC,” He poked you, “What’s on your mind?”

You could barely look him in the eye

How were you supposed to tell him?

You had gone through this because you wanted to see if it was true…If you were actually broken and needed to be fixed

In what way were you supposed to tell the man you loved that you didn’t feel any sexual attraction to him or to anyone, right after you had sex with him for the first time?

You were both facing each other, still naked and in bed

He was in the midst of telling you some story, maybe to easy the awkwardness between you two, but you weren’t listening

You felt awful

I should have told him before, he’ll think I hated it or he did something wrong

It wasn’t as if you hated what you two had done, or found it disgusting

You just…didn’t feel the desire to do it again

“Saeyoung…I’m sorry.”

“What’s wrong? Hey, talk to me.” He pulled you closer, stroking your hair

“I should have told you sooner, I…”

God, how could you ever find the words to explain this right now?

“MC, don’t tell me…did you…did you sleep with someone else?” He stiffened, his voice growing cold.

“No! God, no…” You hesitated, “It’s quite the opposite, actually…”

He visibly relaxed, “What do you mean?”

“I’m ace, Sae.”

He paused for a moment, before squeezing you against his chest, “You should have told me sooner! What we just did…I’m sorry, I should have made sure you-”

“No, its fine. You didn’t do anything wrong, and I don’t regret what we did. I just…I don’t know if I’ll want to do it again. I didn’t know how to tell you, I’m sorry.”

“I’m fine, I’m glad you told me now. I guess you could say you…’Aced’ it!”

“…”

“ :D “

V

Out of everyone, V would be the most understanding

You had always admired his open-mindedness, his calm demeanor when it came to understanding what was foreign to him

The only reason you were hesitant to tell him… was because of his ex girlfriend

Even before you two were together, you felt a constant comparison between you and the blonde

Even if the other members didn’t do it on purpose, they put Rika on a pedestal and, since you now filler her place as party coordinator, you felt a huge pressure on you

And dating V wasn’t any different 

You were constantly asking yourself if Rika would have done this, wouldn’t have done that…

Would Rika be able to fill his physical need? Even if she didn’t want to?

Probably, you thought, she’s nothing like me. She’s not broken like me

“MC…I love you now, not her. It hasn’t been her in a long time now.” He reassured you when you expressed your concern, “And you’re not broken because you don’t feel something.”

His words were so gentle, so soft that they immediately put you at easy

“Yes but…How can I know for sure if I’ve never tried?” You wondered, even though these words were not yours, they were put in your mouth by numerous people around you who didn’t understand

“Just like someone might know they like it even before trying it. Don’t let them feel abnormal, MC. You’re just as valid as the rest of them.”

Saeran

Honestly, he wasn’t that interested in sex to begin with

The only thing Saeran craved was love and affection, no matter what form in came in

And you knew that, you did

But your friends’ words would not leave your head, going on about how you both just needed time to discover yourselves

What if he had already discovered it, and was just waiting for you?

Oh God…you remembered how he had confined in you that he didn’t feel attractive, and that he was always insecure because all the other RFA members were really good-looking

What if he thought you were just making up this asexual nonsense to hide the fact that you weren’t attracted to him at all?

“Listen, Saeran…” You began, telling him everything

“MC, I think I…feel the same way. I’m still taking some time to discover myself, I’m really happy to know that I’m not making you miss you out on anything.”

You were so shocked he understood you so easily, and it felt like a thousand pounds had been lifted from your shoulders

“As long as we can keep holding hands like this.”

#request #requests are open! #mystic messenger #mystic #messenger #mm #mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger scenarios #mystic messenger imagines #yoosung kim #hyun ryu #mm zen #jaehee kang #jumin han #saeyoung choi #luciel choi #707 #jihyun kim #mm v #saeran choi #mm ray #otome

[ifeelsoemptysometimes]

Uhhg my feelings of longing sometime kick in at full force that its almost painful. I dont understand why I get these bouts at times. Well, I have been into self-interests again fir the past couple of weeks so I guess that pretty much explains it. Ugh, it just? So upsetting?? I really wish I could feel that warmed only a significant other can give you. When they laugh with you, smile at you, touch you, talk yo you, do things together, yk, and so on and so forth. I really dont like feeling like this bc ik I don't in particularly need it and i really dont feel attracted to anyone. So if I was that would make things a bit difficult,, maybe. I don't really know how ny romantic attraction works tbh. It's been quite a while since I've actually liked anyone. I think I show attraction when tge person demonstrates it first. Depending on the person ofc. Its always been like that from what I remember. Friends with said person. No feelings. *confesión* feelings developed? Lol idk. Its been some time since I've had a crush so I can't 100% verify but im sure thats how it has been. Then the question is, did I ever REALLY like them?? That i can't really confirm. In first and last "relationship," i think i actually did like him but (we had been kind of friends in the past ig and then fast forward we became friends again but we were a little closer this time, talking everyday at every hour. he then confessed his "feelings", asked me out and I was very flattered so i was like yea man lets go out i guess lol) the crushes before that one feel shaky. Was it real emotions? Or was it bc they liked me first and I was like *shrugs* "I think a less than possible relationship with this guy sounds kinda nice so yea me too, kinda." Obsesión?? Idk its weird lol. I definitely to feel romantic attraction, but only towards people I already have a close bond (depending oh the person of course) with and to my own understanding, only if they confess first. Hmmmm. There have been time were it was like "oh yea I like this guy" who were my friends but, was that just me confusing platonic feels for romantic feelings?? I like to think that can tell the difference between the two but maybe that not true?? I mean,, nothing ever come from those "crushes" like at all. I dont remember feeling strongly about them. I never wished to be in a relationship with them or anything. They just feel like meaningless words and I believe that was the case back then too.

I remember this guy who was a senior in HS, he had been given me little candy bag gifts. I honestly didn't think too much of it, I just thought he was being nice yk?? The year it happened we had one class together but we never spoke to each other. We did have gym my freshman year tho. In that class we talked, played games together and whatnot. Friends. Anyways, one day one of my besties told me that he liked me and was hoping for an answer. I was baffled lol. He did?? But he hadn't even looked at me since the year that we had gyms together. At that point I was a junior and he was a senior. I had to sat no, I didn't like him. I think he pushed for a positive answer a couple more times but ultimately, I still said no. Later that year be bought me a bts backpack and it was filled yo the brim with that same brand that he'd "seemingly" gift me lol. I was completely baffled. It was odd to me. Romantic feelings for me?? That's really weird lol. Seems unthinkable. After the final gift we never spoke afterwards.

There was this other time in HS were this girl had a crush on me. I remember the first day I saw her, she was unfamiliar, I'd never seen her before. We were well into or past the 3rd 9 weeks so yk, she was obviously a new student. She was caring a yellow sketch book and some other stuff and as she walked past me and iut of the corner of my eye I could see her looking at me. Idk how I caught that but I did. Didn't think much of it but yea. Im not sure what happened afterwards but she started to hang out with us. During breakfast, during lunch mainly. I didn't mind, she was alright. Kinda possessive of me at times??. It was a little weird. At first i didn't know she like me bc well, I didn't ever thing a girl would have been interested in me,, ibwas a little surprised when she told me. I am unfortunately not intrest in women, ir at least i don't think i am. Im not sure how i told her but did. She was quite disappointed but she didn't stop meeting up with us and i didn't mind. But she would be really weird at times. This one time we were going on a feild trip fir Spanish class and she really wanted to sit with me so i let her. I think i slept on the ride and when I woke up, either someone told me she was watching me sleep or i felt/saw her watching me. On the same ride one of my friends has doubled me and the girl said really loudly "get your dirty hands off of her" I was shocked like,, huh?? She would often say things that made me very uncomfortable, sexual in nature. We were eating waffles for breakfast and she was making gross innuendos with the syrup about me. I was and still am very sex repulsed so it was really gross to me and I couldn't stand it. I think she was very touchy too?? I dont thinkni minded thst part too much but yea, I mean, I bearly knew her. I remember her wearing a Vanoss jacket and i was like oh damn? I wanted one of those and she told me she'd let me have it if I gave her a kiss. I think I actually thought about it but immediately after said no and told her once again that i just didn't like her like that. She seemed little disappointed but we moved on. And it was just stuff like that. I never hated her but damn she sure did know how to make me uncomfortable sometimes. But I think she's just in that since i was a total piece of shit towards her. I was honestly quite homophobic when I was in HS so I said some terrible shit to her. She much have like me a lot tho bc she never stopped being around me. I wish I hadn't been so awful towards her and wish could apologize to her but i have no was of doing so. I hope she's doing well. Sometimes I wonder what we have happened if I cad given her a chance. That would had never happened bc I was a pos but yea, I wonder. Probably wouldn't have worked out seeing how sexual she was.

Anyways related/unrelated stories over. Idk who im really into anymore irl aside from tame non human fictional characters that are men. Tho I for sure feel aesthetic attraction lol I can appreciate s pretty face any day lol