#don't get me started on weekends

[theoldaeroplane]

I need things to stop HAPPENING

#nothing's wrong i just seem unable to catch my breath #i work for eight hours and then i have something almost every night when i get home #movie nights or social nights or volunteering nights or nights where i just can't do anything because i had therapy that day #don't get me started on weekends #i volunteer for 2-4 hours on Saturday mornings and i have hangouts on Saturday afternoons and DND on Sundays #and that's without counting any of the many variable things that i may attend on a Saturday #pride is this weekend and don't get me wrong I'm really looking forward to going #but i need like 3 days where i sit in my house and no one asks me to go anywhere #i want to make as many of the volunteer things as i can bc it only happens for about 18 weeks out of the year and there's only 12 left #what about Thursday and Friday you ask? Thursday is also volunteering #because that is when the miniature horses have their classes and what am i supposed to do? NOT go help with miniature horses??? #fridays are usually clear except for the occasional hangout #i don't know why i can't seem to keep a balance in my life #es dificil #anyway i have to leave for work thirty minutes early today so i can make it to the barn in time to get the minis ready #yesterday i had to leave two hours early because i had an anxiety attack that lasted well over two hours and persisted through a nap #where is the balance.... i enjoy doing all these things... but my energy doesn't.... #anyway i need a rich person to decide I'm entertaining and sponsor me so i only have to work part time and i can do my funny little arts #that seems realistic right?

[blueskittlesart]

cold fruit in a hot kitchen (so i had this great watermelon last weekend)

#so I had this great watermelon last weekend. and the thing is it probably wasn't even that great of a watermelon #but I was four hours into an eight hour shift and we had thrown out all the watermelon salad because no one was eating it #and then our manager ran in and yelled that the client really fucking wanted watermelon salad. #so like six of us servers started frantically chopping watermelon. and the kitchen got really hot #in the way it does when everyone inside it is really stressed because there's no fucking watermelon salad #and after we chopped all the watermelon and the client got their fucking watermelon we all had a moment #where we looked at the remaining watermelon and we were so hot and cocktail hour was almost over anyway and the salads were all plated #and we all went for the watermelon and we ate it with the kind of rabid intensity you only get while eating cold watermelon in a hot kitche #and it was the best watermelon I have ever tasted and several days later i am still chasing the high of that fucking watermelon #and the thing is i know it isn't even the watermelon i'm actually missing #it's the feeling of cool liquid on hot skin and the feeling of a crisis averted and the feeling of camaraderie #that comes with devouring a watermelon in a hot kitchen with six other people who you have nothing in common with except that watermelon. #i don't dream of labor but i am dreaming now of being 4 hours into an eight hour shift eating watermelon in a hot kitchen. #i dream of laughing around the cold fruit in my mouth. I crave that watermelon like i'll die without it. #< honest to god this is real and that watermelon left such an impact on me that i had to draw it and write this. having a normal one #maybe this is insane but working in a team of people you truly like to do something you actually enjoy is so underrated #if only they fucking paid me i could work as a server for the rest of my life. unironically #skribbles

[2hoothoots]

i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:

Restore Ford Cruller's memory

Find Maligula

???

Profit

but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.

[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]

like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.

...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:

[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]

and that's kind of interesting, right?

to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:

"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"

my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.

so what is going on here?

in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:

"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."

other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.

the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.

[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]

i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!

we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.

like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.

i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #bored waiting at the airport so you get more psychonauts meta from me #the delugionists have been on my mind recently (because i Might Just have an upcoming au lorepost about them and also cults are fun) #so tossing my thoughts up here because people seemed to like the last few times i did this #and also it's my blog and i like to talk :) #related vent i HATE drafting posts in the tumblr editor because if you hit crtl+z to try and undo a formatting change #it deletes like half the post you just typed out #(yes i did it again while i was writing this. yes i'm still salty. why do i even bother) #what else... this is just becoming a disconnected thoughts dump #but if you've seen my posts you knew what you were signing up for when you hit the button to expand the post tags #there's new art coming hopefully this weekend if i can get it finished! it's more mermaid au designs #i'm two and a half weeks late for mermay but it turns out starting a new job and moving house doesn't leave you with a ton of free time #but that's okay it's never too late for mermaids #omg and artfight's coming up next month too! geez #i gotta make refsheets for the fsau trio because i would LOVE to get art of them #and this year i don't have a thesis to crunch on so i might actually have time to participate #oh and then in august i'm having top surgery! will make a proper announcement post for it at some point #i say 'announcement'. it's just a life update but it's nice to share #i'm super excited about it :) #i might end up blogging the process and recovery but obviously it won't be going here lol. i'd put it on my main #idk if anyone would find it useful but when i first started looking into surgery i had like very little idea about the whole process #and it's only through joining a bunch of online support/discussion groups that i managed to find more info and resources #so hey it might be useful to share? we'll see #our flight doesn't land for another fifty minutes so now i'm just writing in the tags because i'm bored #alright i'll proofread this and then post it when i land and have signal again. peace out yall hope your pride month is going well

[thelassoway]

Ted Lasso S02E05 Rainbow || Ted Lasso S03E01 Smells Like Mean Spirit

What does that mean?

#Ted Lasso #Theodore Lasso #Jason Sudeikis #Coach Beard #Brendan Hunt #*mine: gif #Ted Lasso spoilers #music #I really enjoyed Ted cleaning up his flat *chef's kiss* #I have two more ideas that feel original but I have a feeling one of these ideas will be posted #the TL giffing feels a bit saturated which is great but I have seen this one scene giffed quite a few times #don't get me wrong it is a great scene but I start feeling personally as a gifmaker that I don't want to add to that #so I'm less likely to make gifs of scenes I've seen already giffed. I don't want to feel like I'm copying anyone.... #I need to get on the reblogging of all the new season gifsets for sure #there's no way I can be quick with the making of gifsets #I still want to do my JS series but I don't have time to go over the whole episode this weekend #I'll have to do a back to back E01 and E02 since my quarter ends on Tuesday #also is that last gif too dark or just right...I want back and forth and just keep my old style with it

[a-s-levynn]

Just so you know, if i disappear i either jumped off the roof or finally snapped and murdered my upper floor neighbours.

#every single fucking weekend starts off with hours of drilling and hammering #every day the kids are screeching well into to the night and stomping around so loud i can hear it even through good quality headphones #they had been asked to keep it down #multiple times #not just by me #at this point i do not give a fuck why it happens i don't even remember it has been so long i just want it to stop #i want one fucking weekend of quiet without a sensory overload first thing on a saturday #my brain is hurting #i already have problems focusing and getting chores and stuff done one the weekends on it's own #i'm so fucknig tired i have enough shit to deal with without this added to the pile #levynn tries to think #levynn cries about nonsense

[breadandblankets]

Doug and Elaine Thomas met in a coffee shop at Gotham U, they struck up a conversation in line talking about everything from the weather to certain wildly unpopular school policy changes, they end up talking even after they get their orders (peppermint tea and a chocolate croissant for Elaine, cinnamon latte for Doug)

Doug secures his second date when he finds out Elaine has seen approximately Zero (0) movies and takes it up on himself to show her the world

#and the rest they say is history #doug thomas #duke thomas #elaine thomas #batfam #elaine is either pregnant here or freshly not pregnant hence the herbal tea #i asked my mom if u can drink coffee while pregnant and mom asked me who i was mad at #smh #doug and the bad bitch he pulled by being Very Normal about movies #anyway i think duke got his love of movies from his dad 🥰🥰 #i think they watched old movies together afterschool or on weekends cuddled up with popcorn #doug insists that popcorn is essential to the viewing experience despite the fact they polish it off before the movie even starts #elaine is at goth u getting her social work degree ofc and doug is probably in the process of getting his construction apprenticeship #and is just taking some classes before that #probably like safety and physics and such #does gotham have a cc?? I don't remember #anyway i will keep thomas family posting until dc editorial takes me out themselves #doug and elaine aren't dead u fucks #bread talk

[the-gene-mile]

rewatched the premier definitely super legally and just look at them

#these tags get. very rambly. so expand at ur own risk i'm just kinda yelling here #bob's burgers #ur insane if u think i'm tagging every character #i HAVE to draw gene in this outfit proper u don't get it i just love when they let him go full music man #this premier made me clinically insane i don't think u understand they're consuming my thoughts like brain eating amoeba #catastrophic autism levels rn #god rest the poor souls at uni that'll ask how my weekend was #genuinely surprised they managed to get jjr. zeke. rudy. marshmallow. AND fischoeder in the premier #like they got ALL our fav little guys in here huh #no courtney or alex tho i'm fine. no it's fine that's fine #love how gene just started lying down at some point #lil bro did NOT care abt the chores he was invested in the narrative #there were some rly great bits in this ep too #gene just being dramatic. 'hey guys look at pepperoni the pony'. every time fischoeder was on screen #v strong premier i am clearly very normal abt it #ngl i just made this post to archive all these screenshots for myself bc i love the costumes here

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

silly vampire costumes and their added benefits™️ (directly based on this)

#and just when you thought I wouldn't take an opportunity to draw fall alt Morty simply because it's not October - you f o o l s !!! /lh #this was actually quite an old doodle that I managed to finally get to as a treat for myself since work has been quite overwhelming skdjfns #I just wanted an excuse to draw Morty all flustered and shy really eeeeeeeeee (those lip stains are Eusine's ofc) 💕💕💕💕💕💕 #I'll make a proper post for it later but I'll skip the comic update this weekend so that I could unwind and attend this con I've been eyein #(it's a local Pokemon Con where I plan to just - splurge my savings on merch really SKDJFSKJDFNSD bc I deserve it methinks) #(I have the update planned as well- I just don't wanna stress myself by rushing it --- I wanna make it the best I could hehe ✨) #I'll also !!! share that I've recently started the Magnus Archives and have been on . a MANIC binge on it since last week #(I'm clinically diagnosed as bipolar this is okay for me to saySKJDFNSJKFDSND) #but oh my god I've just been--so addicted to it - I've just recently started S4 and I'm Severely Depressed by it but god I am--- #--loving each and every moment of it so much I am So Indescribably Insane about it #part of me wishes I started investing in podcasts sooner really - it fits my nature of work quite perfectly #I'm nearing the end (it ends at S5 - 200 episodes) so I'll finally be able to participate in fanworks after that wish me luck y'allSKJDFNSD #sacredshipping #morty/eusine #morty x eusine #gym leader morty #morty pokemon #mystery man eusine #eusine pokemon #fall morty #pokemon #pokemon masters #pokemon masters ex #pmex #pokemas

[osoreruna]

here it is, the post nobody's been waiting for:

+ the MHA WATCHPARTY INFO !!

for this first session, we'll be watching the first of three movies: My Hero Academia: TWO HEROES ! dates for the other two will be determined at a later date, but will most likely take place the same time as this one, as determined by poll last week. here's the important bits !!

date: SUNDAY, 2/11

time: 6:00 pm, EST

to keep things accessible, we'll be watching the english dub with english subtitles.

the movie will be hosted on WATCHPARTY. the link to the room will be posted the day of. you do not need an account to use watchparty, but perhaps changing your chat name to your url or screen name would be helpful in identifying you.

everyone's invited ! feel free to reblog this if you're into that i guess — and invite your friends !!

that being said, i have no idea how many people will actually join in. it very well may be just me lmao but i know big watchparties can get out of hand sometimes. let's keep things safe and enjoyable for everyone, yeah ? blatant disregard of this statement will earn you a swift kick and potential ban from future watchparties hosted by me.

#𝗦𝗠𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 + [ OOC ] #𝗠𝗛𝗔 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗬 + [ AD ] #⬅ tag to blacklist if you want nothing to do with this — #don't come at me about the dub thing — #my dyslexia will kick your fuckin ass. #i hid a little time zone converter thing in the post for you guys that are just as bad at math and / or just as lazy as me. #but yeah anyway #i know i've been like #NOT HERE but i've been lurkin #when i'm not sleepin'. i get it where i can. #sleep is still exhausting atm tho. cardio appt on the 9th. heart's been doing an excited little dancy dance i think but i wish it would STO #dancing — i mean...i ran out of characters. #not actually stop. #but !! it also took me so long to type this ! #because i decided to DESTROY my shoulder carrying an 85" tv up three flights of stairs today and it HURTS. #so i'm gonna try to do things tonight #but no promises. #uughhg i've got so much to catch up on i'm sorry y'all #but THREE DAY WEEKENDS STARTING NEXT WEEK !!! AHHH #i can't wait to cry about david w u guys —

[earl-grey-crow]

I feel like alice might've wanted to kick the pond in the shins but how do you kick an eldritch pond in the shins

#actually I think elliot wants to more than her #he is So Done #he has so much understated trauma that no one seems to understand or acknowledge it's absolutely wild #those were really some fighting words from him #I just. need to rewatch this a dozen times to really unpack his character it's just. wow. #and the 1814 arc?? not disappointing #like augustine? you mean THAT augustine?? #“it's okay I got shot ” sksksksksk #also I have got to know what happened in that house #the amount of lore and interconnection is crazy #I lowkey feel bad for brady he doesn't get to see his daughter he doesn't understand he doesn't know that she and kat are literally #so obsessed about the past that they're basically throwing away their present!! #“don't worry about it” you should worry about it #can't trust the pond #what. an episode. #I thought tonight would be my relaxing time after a weekend full of homework. Wrong. I am a Fool. #I need two to three business days to process this #but can you blame me?? I kinda keep waiting for this to start acting like a hallmark series (you know. hallmark.) but it's not!! #oughhhh #the way home hallmark #earl crow ramblings

[bellerintwo]

"we have 4 finals left to play guys focus" "real arsenal fans aren't celebrating until the season is over" for the love of everything that is beautiful in the world, shut up

#if I see this take again I'm genuinely going to start crying lmao ahhhhh #and if you get to the end of the season and you never celebrated anything then what?? they're not bringing a trophy out for you mate #did anything matter last season? if the only way you measure success is with a trophy then no maybe not #but when I put on last season's kits I don't remember the games we lost I don't even remember losing the league #I remember Martin officially being named captain and both nld games and the last minute winners and farewell Granit #even beyond last season of all the games I've seen in my life I remember maybe 6-7 losses #more than that I remember how fast hector was and when nelli debuted and mikel off the bench in his last game #I remember arshavin's 4 goals and that mf who broke aaron ramsey's leg and how watching cesc made me fall in love with football #how on the weekends it was arsene wenger who raised me #no one lets our players live and now you're not going to let your fellow fans live .... literally what are you doing here #it’s not your job to be calm it’s your job to support the club! you’re supposed to bring the passion wdym no celebrating until the end ???

[bredforloyalty]

you know what? it's fine.

#tomorrow i either pass clinical psych or i don't pass. or i get a 3 and i'm forced to consider if it's worth trying again or not #that's fine. then i try to do something with the school psych assignment over the weekend #then i do a bit of preparing for the stupid fucking neuropsych online exam. so I don't go in blind #you gotta know how to cheat and how to use your notes y'know what i mean. #and then i start studying for the comprehensive exam and also work on the research paper #and if i fail clinical psych i can try again one or two weeks later (can't really do one bc i don't want to be back here that week) (so two) #and if i fail the comprehensive exam (or if it's crap like it's a 2 or a 3. bc it kind of needs to be a 5 bc of the degree grade) then i #try again on may 7 #and if i don't manage to finish the research paper by may 6 for the first check‚ i still have until the 19th to do it #i will make it through if it kills me.. and it shouldn't like if this tests my limits then i deserve to be hit with a #giant hammer until i die 💀

[arsonist-chicken]

What if I just developed social skills to be able to actually make new friends in person and then used those skills to get a new phone number and pack my bags and run away to a place where no one knows me and all my past mistakes and fuckups and started over there without going into social isolation

#i needed to hand my expose in in february and got an email about it this weekend and agreed to hand it in on tuesday #it is now sunday evening and i just got another email about it but thinking about opening it makes me want to throw up #she's so nice and i don't want to see her scolding me for AGAIN not sticking to a deadline #what if she tells me that was the final deadline and i won't receive a grade for that class and so i won't be allowed to write my thesis #until next january? I wanted to graduate this autumn. it's april and i haven't even started on my thesis and i have like three bullet point #for the expose; and idek if I'll be able skillwise and mental health wise/adhd wise to actually write the stupid thesis #like what if i can't do it and then i've spent the last one and a half years on a degree i won't get in the end and then i won't be able to #apply to a lot of the jobs i thought actually looked good #@god give me some social butterfly skills and I'll give or throw most of my stuff i don't absolutely need away so i can just.. #go somewhere new. start over. and not become even more socially isolated than i already am. #does anyone know what a panic attack feels like because i'm having suspicions that i might have finally gotten them this year #but didn't recognise them as such because it could be worse #so anyway. god grant me some social friend making skills #if you can't do that at least throw in some adhd and depression treatment. i am sick of this. #and by this i mean the way i've been living my life at least since i left high school; probably even while still in high school #vent posts #mine #i love my online friends so much but i can't meet them outside to sit in the sun or chat about anything at all or go have coffee together #or or or you get me

[homosexualslug]

breaking bad season 5 out of context

#JESSE!! LET'S CUT TO THE CHASE!! I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU!! #can't believe this is an actual line how have I seen the 'he can't keep getting away with it!' meme but not this #just to clarify I would never ship these two in a million years but their dynamic compels me #I feel like he treats jesse more as a son than anything looking after him / being overbearing / ruining his life constantly etc #don't get me started on the scene where he calls his own actual son jesse by accident!!! I love writing #anyways ALMOST finished with my my like three year on and off watch of this goddamn show #because I had a quiet weekend to myself and whenever I am alone I end up watching prestige TV and movies I guess #this weekend it was this and past lives #breaking bad #.txt #jesse pinkman #walter white

[coffeebanana]

sorry not sorry my next fic update will be delayed because i have to knit a cute bag

#kayla rambles #to be CLEAR this apology is a joke because i don't apologize for how long it takes to post things #it's just funny to me because i was like 'i am NOT going to start this craft project until i finish editing this chapter' #'because then i'll get invested in that' #but then last night i started anyways kajsfkdsbj #AND LO AND BEHOLD I AM INVESTED #it's gonna be cute okay 🥺 #but the next chapter of post-s5 ladrien is SO CLOSE TO DONE #i'm just being picky about the editing #most likely will be posted this weekend #but...i probably COULD have finished it by tomorrow ahaha #anyways what if i learned to make all my own clothes? marinette core... #i can say it's for the fic writing experience...

[steampoweredskeleton]

Ignore

#delete later #in typical birthday fashion i am now exhausted snd overwhelmed and battling a meltdown #i stubbed my toe and now cant put any fucking weight on it #im exhausted from performing appropriate birthday excitement. i dont think i understand birthdays correctly #to me the only relevance of ppls birthday is that i can show that i care about them and give gifts that make them happy or #spend time with them. other than that its just a day. in my head my birthday is just a day but it's a day rhat im expected to be #ecstatic over. i dont understand that. i spend the day worried im not feeling the correct feelings or displaying them right #and worried bc the normal day routine is broken and im anxious bc i don't know what will happen #too much uncertainty. abd rhat anxiety makes me feel guilty. but at the same time bc to me birthdays are avout showing the #person that you care. if everyone ignored it i would start to assume they dont care. idk how to fix my brain on this #at least its only once a year. plus the whole still being alive at 24 thing freaks me out. so when i inevitably have my #meltdown or shutdown it comes with not fun things #i get the same way at christmas except its slightly more socially acceptable for me to hide at christmas. #meltdowns make me angry abd emotional so i know im being a bitch in my head but logic is hard so im just upset and angry #and confused on how im supposed to feel and act. i fucking hate my brain. #i have ordered good comfort food abd have weighted blanket abd new piercing. life is okay #i dont want to see mu parents this weekend but it will be what it will be. im so fucking tired